Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost (Episode)

"Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost" is a SpongeBob SquarePants episode from season one. It premiered on September 25, 1999. Template:Spoiler Brief summary: When SpongeBob and Patrick destroy Squidward's wax sculpture of himself, they believe that the sculpture was the real Squidward and the real one is a ghost. So Squidward makes them do favors for him, and after many favors, SpongeBob and Patrick decide to get Squidward to rest, but things go unexpectedly wrong.

Time/Date: Unknown

Time cards shown: None

Characters Present:

Song(s): None

Plot

Squidward is proud of having just finished his wax sculpture of himself and declares he has "conquered all artistic medium" (referencing a large diversity of art styles and reproductions of famous pieces which all have Squidward for subject). While he goes to take a bath, SpongeBob and Patrick throw a shell with which they are playing frisbee into Squidward's house, and it hits the sculpture. SpongeBob and Patrick think they've injured Squidward, and after several humorous attempts to "resuscitate" him, they believe that Squidward is dead. Squidward, fresh from his pampered bath, dramatically emerges in a rush of steam from the warm bathroom, wearing talcum powder and a white bathrobe and towel. SpongeBob and Patrick believe they are seeing Squidward's ghost and, hoping to avoid any hauntings or punishments, place themselves as Squidward's willing servants. Squidward gleefully takes advantage of the situation, having them serve and pamper him, do chores, and simply entertain him. Eventually, SpongeBob and Patrick, while entering a "messy" room, come across a comic book inspired by the story of the Flying Dutchman (who haunted the seas because his body was used as a window display in a clothing store), and decide that since Squidward is a vengeful spirit, he needs to be put to rest. Thus, SpongeBob and Patrick try to give him a proper burial as well as a funeral. Squidward eventually admits his charade, but SpongeBob and Patrick believe that Squidward is simply in denial about his death. SpongeBob blows a giant bubble that engulfs Squidward and sends him floating up to 'the great beyond'.

Quotes

(Squidward's closet)

SpongeBob: Oh, let’s see. It’s a comic book, and look at this: (he shows it to Patrick) it’s the origin on the Flying Dutchman. (we see a picture in the book of the Dutchman in a window at “Kid World”) It says when he died they used his body as a window display. (pan down to show the Dutchman being all evil in the sea) Now he haunts the seven seas because he was never put to rest. Well, don’t you get it, Patrick?

Patrick: We’re going to go shopping?

SpongeBob: No! We’re gonna put poor old Squidward to rest. (cut to Squidward sitting on the couch. SpongeBob and Patrick peek up from behind it, and they spit two spitballs at him)

Squidward: Ow! What the heck was that?

SpongeBob: Initiation! (he giggles) That was part one of your ceremony.

Squidward: Ceremony for what?

SpongeBob: We’re going to put you to rest.

Squidward: I don’t want to be put to rest! All I want are those chores done! Now, did you clean the back room yet?

SpongeBob: Yeah.

Squidward: Oh, really? I’m going to go check. (he walks off. He opens the door and screams. Inside are Spongebob and Patrick holding open the door to a coffin)

SpongeBob: OK, get in.

Squidward: Are you crazy? I’m not getting in that thing.

SpongeBob: But you said we could put you to rest.

Squidward: I didn’t say anything like that! Now, get out of my house!

SpongeBob: OK.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, we all came as soon as we were sure you were dead.
Patrick: How high’s he going to go? (Squidward notices what’s going on)

SpongeBob: All the way, Patrick, up to the great beyond. (SpongeBob sniffs and he and Patrick wave) Good-bye, friend.

Patrick: Happy trails!

(Squidward's closet)

Patrick: How are we gonna clean all this up?

SpongeBob: It's easy, just tear this wallpaper off!

SpongeBob: Hike Patrick, hike! You just lost 3 points! 1, 2, 5! G7!

Patrick: G7?! King me, king me! I lose!

SpongeBob: But it's not Tuesday Patrick!

Patrick: Tartar sauce! (reference to calvinball)

SpongeBob: Patrick, say that again.

Patrick: That again.

SpongeBob: No, the other thing

Patrick: No, the other thing

SpongeBob: No, what you said before when you...

Patrick: No, what you said before when you...

SpongeBob: Never Mind! I have an idea.

Patrick: Never Mind! I have an idea.

SpongeBob: (Giving Squidward food) A grape, fresh from the vine, your spookiness

SpongeBob: A banana, peeled to your liking , your incorporialness

Patrick: One watermelon (wedges sizable watermelon in Squidward's mouth) fresh from the manure fields, your sporkiness!

Squidward: SpongeBob, I have a confession to make. (Takes off bath towel)

SpongeBob: You're bald?

Squidward: No, I'm not bald, I'M ALIVE!! Now get rid of that tombstone and tell all your friends to go home.

SpongeBob: But...

Squidward: DO IT!!!

SpongeBob: Go home.

(Every one leaves)

(SpongeBob and Patrick carry Squidward's palanquin with him in it)

Squidward: Too hot.

(SpongeBob and Patrick carry him to another spot)

Squidward: Too wet.

(SpongeBob and Patrick carry him to another spot, but this time it's an underwater version of the painting La Troupe de Mlle. Eglantine)

Squidward: Too loose, Lautrec. (A pun of the artist's last name)

(A rimshot can be heard after that line)

Trivia/Goofs

The episode's name is a takeoff on Casper the Friendly Ghost.
This is the only episode where Squidward's house is depicted with an elevator in it, which would allude to Squidward having a high income or simply the house having a convenient feature.
During the scene when Patrick and Spongebob are carrying Squidward around in servitude to him, with Squidward complaining it is "too hot" or "too wet", they stumble onto an aquatic version of the painting La Troupe de Mlle. Eglantine. Squidward quips that it is "Too loose, Lautrec" (a pun on the name of the painting's artist, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec) with an accompanying sting.
When Squidward says "I have conquered all artistic medium", the original captions say "I have conquered all artistic media".
When Squidward asks, "What are you invertebrates doing?" SpongeBob and Patrick seem to make up a nonsensical game having to do with (persumably among other things) chess boards, bubbles and rocks. *SpongeBob and Patrick say, "We don't know." This may be a reference to Calvinball, a game played in the defunct comic strip Calvin and Hobbes.
When Squidward asks, "What are you invertebrates doing?" to SpongeBob and Patrick, it seems that Squidward is insulting them about not having a backbone. However, Squidward is a cephalopod, making him an invertebrate as well.
When Squidward is on the royal bed, you can see that Patrick's house is missing.
After Squidward throws the cherry pie and tells Patrick to find it again, he says SpongeBob's name. SpongeBob's frown grew bigger when Squidward said his name, but if you look closely, you can see SpongeBob smile for not even half a second.
When SpongeBob says "Oh look, the mourners have arrived," original closed captioning said "Look, the mourners."
This has the same title card (minus recoloration) as Graveyard Shift.
When Squidward gives SpongeBob a piece of tissue paper and asks that he plays a song with it, SpongeBob refuses, saying he cannot. However, in the episode The Paper, SpongeBob is shown to be able to replicate the notes of a clarinet perfectly with a gum wrapper.