Episode Transcript: What Ever Happened to SpongeBob?

Revision as of 23:31, 5 May 2010

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Episode Article: What Ever Happened to SpongeBob?

Characters

• SpongeBob (CheeseHead BrownPants)
• Patrick
• Gary
• Squidward
• Sandy
• Mr. Krabs
• Bubble Poppin' Boys
• Perch Perkins
• Nat
• Old Man Jenkins
• Shubie
• Mailman
• Help Wanted Lady
• Scottish couple
• Former Mayor of New Kelp City
• Citizens of New Kelp City
• Bob

Dialogue

SpongeBob: (frantically jumps out of bed) Good morning, Gary! Good morning, Mister Mailman!

Mailman: Morning, SpongeBob. Ah, it is a good morning, isn't it. (The Mailman crashes into a truck on his bicycle and flies across the sky) AAAHHH!

SpongeBob: Isn't life great, Gary? Oh, what a beautiful day. I have the best friends...

Squidward: Ah, stay away! Oh, another SpongeBob nightmare.

SpongeBob: The best job...

Mr. Krabs: He's already 10 seconds late. I'm doubting he's not paying for this.

SpongeBob: And, of course, the bestest pet.

Gary: Meow. (SpongeBob squeezes Gary in a hug, which causes Gary's shell to break. SpongeBob runs out of his house)

SpongeBob: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! (runs into Patrick)

Patrick: Hi SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hey Patrick! How goes it?

Patrick: Well, it was great until you showed up. (turns around and shows a cake splattered on his belly)

SpongeBob: What's that?

Patrick: Oh, just a birthday cake for my mom that I spent all day baking. Idiot Boy!

SpongeBob: Oh, that's the first time someone's called me that. Wait, I know who will enjoy my company. (SpongeBob goes to the door of Squidward's house)

SpongeBob: Squidward!

Squidward: Don't you ever wake me up from my beauty sleep. Do you understand? Idiot Boy! (Cut to the Treedome, where Sandy has invented a robot)

Sandy: It's all done! My greatest invention yet! (the robot starts to dance)

SpongeBob: Sandy! What a new robot! (SpongeBob trips on a log. Some of the water from his helmet goes onto Sandy's robot)

Sandy: NOOOOOOOO!! (Sandy's robot blows up)

SpongeBob: Let me explain. You see... I was passing by the tree, and I thought it'd be funny if I gave you a surprise.

Sandy: Oh, you gave me a surprise, alright. LOOK AT THE SURPRISE I GOT! (shows the destroyed robot) Get out of here! Idiot Boy!

SpongeBob: I guess that means there's only one place left to go. A place where I am wanted, wherever they like it or not! (Cut to the Krusty Krab) Spongebob WorkPants reporting for duty, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Hurry up and get in there, boy! Patties need flipping.

SpongeBob: No worries, captain! (SpongeBob trips on some frying pans) Oops, well, all in a day's work. Now, back to doing what I do best! No way I can mess this up... (SpongeBob slides on a puddle of water and starts screaming)

Mr. Krabs: (playing with his dollars, until he is interrupted by SpongeBob's screaming) What the barnacles is going on?

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! (SpongeBob slides and hits Mr Krabs. Mr. Krabs falls in the fryer and gets out immediately) Mr. Krabs, are you OK?

Mr. Krabs: I'm fine, as long as me money's OK. (SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs notice both dollars in the fryer)

Mr. Dollar: (to Mrs. Dollar) Although we know each other a short time, I want you to know... I love you. (both dollars disintegrate as they cry. SpongeBob laughs nervously)

Mr. Krabs: (kicks out SpongeBob) If I were you, I'd get as far away from me as possible... Idiot Boy! (SpongeBob is shocked)

SpongeBob: I guess that's it, then. If Mr. Krabs is calling me Idiot Boy, it must be true. I know what must be done! (SpongeBob starts crying his tears, creating a river that leads him to his house)(sighs) I somehow managed to make everyone mad at me. At least you still like me, right Gary?

(We see Gary putting a bandage on his back. He hisses at SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: (sighs) I'll miss you too, buddy. There's a year's supply of snail food for you. (walks out of his house and turns around) Goodbye pineapple. (the chimmey blows SpongeBob up in the sky) Goodbye Squidward. Goodbye Patrick. Goodbye Sandy. Goodbye Bikini Bottom. Good bye, old life as I know. (he lands on the road next to the sign) Welcome to Bikini Bottom. Population 538. (crosses out the 8 with a clalk and puts a 1 next to it) Minus one. (he leaves Bikini Bottom down the road) Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot Boy, Idiot... (that night, SpongeBob is scared by a bunch of very weird people. He runs for his life, but falls off the cliff upside down, causing him to boink his head on a bunch of rocks until he reaches the bottom of the cliff. Now he's got a long bump on his head) Oooh, boy, that's kind of rough. (the things that SpongeBob packed hit him on the head, causing him to faint. Cut to Patrick, who is knocking on SpongeBob's door and drinking a milkshake)

Sandy: Patrick, where's SpongeBob?

Patrick: I don't know. I've been knocking on his door for three hours. I need his hot sauce for my milkshake. (drinks his milkshake)

Sandy: We ain't got time for that. HI-YAH!(brushes through the door)

Gary: Mrloooow.

Sandy: Gary? Where are you, little guy? (searches for Gary)

Gary: Mrloooow.

Sandy: Gary?! Gary?!(Bumps on some of Gary's snail slime on his bottom. Cut to see that Gary is now extremely huge and fat)

Gary: Mrloow.

Sandy: Gary! What happened to you?

Gary: Mrlooooooowrooowroowrooow. (Sandy sees a note on Gary's food bowl)

Sandy: A note. (picks up the note and reads it) To whom what it may concern, if you found this letter, that means Gary's food bowl is empty and that it needs to be refilled. It also means that it's been approximately one year since I've split town and no one's noticed 'til now. No one needs to worry, I won't bother anyone again. Sincerely, SpongeBob. A.K.A. Idiot Boy. (Patrick and Sandy look at each other sadly)

(Cut to SpongeBob when the villagers wake him up)

Villager Man: I could use this.

Villager Woman: Yeah, and I could use these.

SpongeBob: Hello there. (the villagers gasp) What's going on?

Villager Man: Oh, we thought you were taking a dirt nap, but we organized your clothes for you... SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: (looks behind, then turns around to the villagers) Are you talking to me?

Villager Man: Isn't this your name? (shows SpongeBob's nametag)

SpongeBob: I don't know, is it?

Villager Man: You don't know your name?

SpongeBob: All I know is that I hit my head on some rocks! Now I can't seem to remember anything. (the villagers wink at each other)

Villager Man: Err, well, then I'll remind you that these are not your clothes, and your name isn't SpongeBob, it's, umm... it's... CheeseHead BrownPants. Ha ha! That's it!

SpongeBob: CheeseHead, huh? (checks his pockets) Wait a minute, what's this? (shows a bubble bottle)

Villager Man: BUBBLES?!

(The villagers scream and run away)

SpongeBob: I wonder what got into them? (Sees the town called "New Kelp City". Cut to a "BREAKING NEWS" slide)

Perch Perkins: We interrupt this program for an important announcement. (cut to Perch Perkins in Bikini Bottom, where a crowd of people are panicking) Bikini Bottom is literally in total chaos tonight. (a muscular guy pushes Perch)

Muscular Guy: LITERALLY! (runs off)

Perch Perkins: (gets up weakly with a black eye) We now go live with the news chopper 7. What's up?

News Chopper: (we see someone flying in a helicopter) Not looking too good out here, Perch. The Krusty Krab is about to come apart of the henges. Customers are in a rage over not getting their Krabby Patties.

Mr. Krabs: (running to Squidward) Squidward, where the barnacles is SpongeBob? This place is going down the toilet! Patties need flipping!

Squidward: If I knew, do you think I'd be standing here getting yelled at by a bunch of morons?

Mr. Krabs: Don't talk that to your superior officer you...

(Both start arguing. Sandy comes in)

Sandy: Squidward! Mr. Krabs! Y'all seen SpongeBob?

Squidward: I think we just went through this...

Mr. Krabs: What he means to say is, no, we haven't.

Sandy: Well, apparently, he left Bikini Bottom, and he ain't coming back. (hands Mr. Krabs the note)

Mr. Krabs: Let me see that. (begins to read) To whom that may concern, if you found this letter, that means (muttering...) sincerely... AKA? AKA? Idiot Boy? IDIOT BOY?! It is SpongeBob! What am I gonna do without me fry cook?

Patrick: What am I gonna do without my best friend? I should never have been mean to you! (starts to cry)

Sandy: I should have never kicked you out of my house! (starts to cry. Her helmet fills up with tears)

Squidward: (sad) If I knew that was the last time I've seen SpongeBob... (happy) I would have slammed the door in his face even harder! (starts laughing. Everyone except Squidward is very sad. Mr. Krabs pushes the customers out of the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: All right, all right, group meeting. Everybody out! The Krusty Krab's closed until further notice! (closes the doors) Now... (he and the others gather around) how do you suppose we find my money-making employee?

(Cut to SpongeBob in the streets of New Kelp City)

SpongeBob: Whoo, I live in a dump! (bumps into a fish)

Fish: Hey, watch where yer stepping!

SpongeBob: Sorry, sir, I was just...

Fish: I know what you was doing. You was doing the old "bump into the sucker and reach into his pockets and take his change routine", but it ain't gonna work this time. You want money? Get a job, you deadbeat!

SpongeBob: I am a jobless deadbeat? What a sad existence I don't remember I live. (fade to black. Cut back to SpongeBob, whose tummy is grumbling) Ooh, seems like I'm running on empty. (checks his pockets and sighs) Not a penny to my name. Well, I guess if I want to fill the hole in my gut, I'll need to fill a job somewhere. (checks a bank sign that says "Help Wanted") Help wanted?

Help Wanted Lady: Well, Mr.... BrownPants... you seem to have left this entire application blank.

SpongeBob: (laughs) I can't remember a thing.

Help Wanted Lady: Well, do you have any special skills?

SpongeBob: Special skills... oh, I can do this! (blows a bubble)

Help Wanted Lady: (screams) Oh, what do you think you are doing?! (kicks out SpongeBob) Sorry, sir, but we run a respectable business here! (slams the door)

SpongeBob: Okay, I guess they don't want you blowing bubbles, unless it directly relates to the job at hand. (SpongeBob is hired as a builder) Thanks for the job, boss! You won't be disappointed.

Builder: That's real sweet, BrownPants, but I don't hear that hammer pounding.

SpongeBob: (pounding the hammer while flying on a bubble) Then this might be music to your ears.

Builder: (sees the bubble) Neptune's son, what are you doing? (gets down from the building) You ain't doing that on my building site! You're fired! (the bubble pops and SpongeBob falls down)

SpongeBob: I do not understand this. What is wrong with this city? Maybe it's not the city. Maybe it's me. (looks at a man) Hey, mister, LOOK AT ME! MISTER, LOOK AT ME! Is there something wrong with me? (shows a gruesome face of SpongeBob. The man screams and runs away. Cut to the Krusty Krab)

Sandy: Listen up, y'all! I got a plan to bring back SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs: You do?

Sandy: Yup, and it involves this. (shows a device) It'll track any sponge within a 50-mile radius.

Squidward: So, you are saying this thing can actually find SpongeBob?

Sandy: You got it, Squidcakes, but it's gonna take all of us to... (Squidward smashes the device with a hammer)

Squidward: Oops, I dropped it. (Mr. Krabs is furious)

Mr. Krabs: MR SQUIDWAAAAARD! This device was me last chance to get this place back into ship shape. And since you destroyed it, I am ordering you to find SpongeBob!

Squidward: (laughs) I wouldn't seek out that twit for all the leotards of the sea.

Mr. Krabs: If you don't find him, you'll be out of a job forever.

Squidward: Ha, is that your version of a threat?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, Squidward, don't forget your retirement gift.

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, I am not interested in any... (gasps) Is that a handcrafted jewel-encrusted egg? That'll complete my collection! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Not so fast! (pushes Squidward) Bring back me number one fry cook first.

(Cut to SpongeBob, who is cold in the streets of New Kelp City. He goes to get warm near a fire)

Fish: Real drag, isn't it? Having to stand on the fire for warmth every night?

SpongeBob: Yeah.

Other Fish: Heh, not for us... we are just waiting in line for a new video game.

SpongeBob: I guess I am just a jobless deadbeat. (sighs) You guys mind if I blow a bubble?

Fish: (frightened) You can't do that here!!

SpongeBob: But... bubbles are steadying the ol' nerves. Watch. (blows a bubble) See? Feeling better already.

(everyone who sees the bubble screams and runs away. SpongeBob gets ready to blow another bubble, when he is approached by a gang who are snapping their fingers. They grab SpongeBob)

Bubble Poppin' Boy: Do you have any... (the others continue snapping) I think we've made our point with the snapping! (They stop snapping) As I was saying... do you have any idea who we are?

SpongeBob: Um, wait... err, um... don't tell me, um...

Bubble Poppin' Boy: Don't ask. (laughs) I'll show ya. We call us (turns around to show the back of his shirt, which says "Bubble Poppin' Boys) the Bubble Poppin' Boys, and we don't allow bubble blowing on our turf. (pops the bubble. Its water gets in his eyes and he gets angry, showing his red eyes) You see why we don't allow bubbles in our city? Fortunately, we have ways of dealing with careless bubble blowers like you. Let's rough him up, boys! (the gang is ready to beat SpongeBob, but he runs away)

Bubble Poppin' Boy: Where'd he go? (sees SpongeBob run) AFTER HIM!