Episode Transcript: Walking Small

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!Back Episode Transscript
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!Back Episode Transcript
!Next Episode Transscript
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!Next Episode Transcript
 
|-
 
|-
|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transscript: Texas|Texas]]
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|align="center" rowspan="3"|[[Episode Transcript: Texas|Texas]]
|[[Episode Transscript: Fools in April|Fools in April]]
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|[[Episode Transcript: Fools in April|Fools in April]]
 
|}
 
|}
  
Episode Article: [[Walking Small (Episode)|Walking Small]]
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Episode Article: [[Walking Small]]
  
==Cractreres==
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==Characters==
 
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*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
+
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
*[[Plankton]]
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*[[Larry the Lobster]]
*[[Larry, the Lobster]]
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*[[Fred]]
 
*[[Fred]]
 
*[[Scooter]]
 
*[[Scooter]]
*[[Billy]]
 
  
(At Goo Lagoon where a toy bulldozer is taking down the "welcome to goo lagoon" sign. Plankton jumps out of the bulldozer and laughs evily. Then he puts two black & white road blocks in front of him and takes out a megaphone)
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==Dialogue==
 +
 
 +
(At Goo Lagoon where a toy bulldozer is taking down the "Welcome to Goo Lagoon" sign. Plankton jumps out of the bulldozer and laughs evilly. Then he puts two black & white road blocks in front of him and takes out a megaphone)
 +
 
 +
'''Plankton:''' Attention, beach-goers! You are trespassing! You have exactly seventeen minutes to haul your carcasses off the future site of the 'Chum Bucket Mega Bucket'. (takes out a sign that says 'future site of the mega bucket and plants it into the ground. The beach-goers can't hear anything but squeaking)
 +
 
 +
'''Woman:''' Do you hear something? (man sitting beside her shakes his head while the lifeguard tries to listen through his bullhorn)
 +
 
 +
'''Plankton:''' (takes out megaphone) Ok, have it your way. I don’t mind bulldozing over each and every one... (a kid comes over and picks up the bulldozer)
 +
 
 +
'''Kid:''' Mommy, look! Somebody left this toy tractor here.
  
Plankton: Attention, beachgoers! You are trespassing! You have exactly seventeen minutes to haul your carcasses off the future site of the 'Chum Bucket Mega Bucket'! (takes out a sign that says 'future site of the mega bucket and plants it into the ground. The beachgoers can't hear anything but squeeking)
+
'''Kid's Mom:''' Put that thing down, Billy, it has germs on it. (kid drops it and it lands beside Plankton)
  
Woman: Do you hear something? (man sitting beside her shakes his head while the lifeguard tries to listen through his bullhorn)
+
'''Billy:''' Ohh, mom.
  
Plankton: (takes out megaphone) Ok, have it your way. I don’t mind bulldozing over each and every one... (a kid comes over and picks up the bulldozer)
+
'''Plankton:''' (talks through megaphone) You’ll see. (throws away the megaphone) You’ll all see! The future site of the Chum Bucket Mega Bucket must be clear to these cretins beachgoers. But it’s becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer! (zoom out) I am small. I need someone big to clear the beach for me. I need... (giant foot almost steps on Plankton but he dives out of the way)) SpongeBob!
  
Kid: Mommy, look! Somebody left this toy tractor here.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo!
  
Kid's Mom: Put that thing down, Billy, it has germs on it. (kid drops it and iut lands beside Plankton)
+
'''Plankton:''' Yes. He’s the one. (laughs evily. The sand on his head falls off)
  
Billy: Ohh, mom.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I’ll have one... (some kid cuts in front of him)
  
Plankton: (talks through megaphone) You’ll see. (throws away the megaphone) You’ll all see! The future site of the Chum Bucket Mega Bucket must be clear to these cretinus beachgoers. But it’s becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer! (zoom out) I am small. I need someone big to clear the beach for me. I need... (giant foot almost steps on Plankton but he dives out of the way)) Spongebob!
+
'''Kid #2:''' Two please. (ice cream man gives him two ice creams) Thanks. (walks off)
  
Spongebob: Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' One please. (a green eel slithers through SpongeBob and grabs the ice cream)
  
Plankton: Yes. He’s the one. (laughs evily. The sand on his head falls off)
+
Eel:'''''' Excuse me. (walks off licking the ice cream)
  
Spongebob: I’ll have one... (some kid cuts in front of him)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' One please.
  
Kid #2: Two please. (ice cream man gives him two ice creams) Thanks. (walks off)
+
'''Ice Cream Man:''' Sorry, kid. We’re all out.
  
Spongebob: One please. (a green eel slithers through Spongebob and grabs the ice cream)
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'''SpongeBob:''' Aww, barnacles. (he hears crying coming from Plankton, who's sitting on a bench with two ice creams) Plankton, what are you doing here? And why are you crying?
  
Eel: Excuse me. (walks off licking the ice cream)
+
'''Plankton:''' Oh, hi, SpongeBob. (blows his nose) I’m cryin’ because I’ve got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! (crys) I don’t know what to do with the other one! (cries then stops and looks at SpongeBob and cries again)
  
Spongebob: One please.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I’ll eat one of those ice cream cones for ya.
  
Ice Cream Man: Sorry, kid. We’re all out.
+
'''Plankton:''' SpongeBob! Would you do that for me?
  
Spongebob: Aww, barnacles. (he hears crying coming from Plankton, who's sitting on a bench with two ice creams) Plankton, what are you doing here? And why are you crying?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Sure! (starts to lick the ice cream)
  
Plankton: Oh, hi, Spongebob. (blows his nose) I’m cryin’ because I’ve got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! (crys) I don’t know what to do with the other one! (cries then stops and looks at Spongebob and cries again)
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'''Plankton:''' SpongeBob? (SpongeBob is still licking the ice cream) SpongeBob? (SpongeBob eats the whole ice cream and is now licking what's left inside. Plankton uses his megaphone to get SpongeBob’s attention) SpongeBob!!
  
Spongebob: I’ll eat one of those ice cream cones for ya.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (turns towards Plankton) Yeah? (spits out ice cream as he talks)
  
Plankton: Spongebob! Would you do that for me?
+
'''Plankton:''' Isn’t it great to get the things you desire? Like that ice cream cone, for instance. (SpongeBob licks his fingers) You can have anything you want with a little training. (SpongeBob licks his fingers again)
  
Spongebob: Sure! (starts to lick the ice cream)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Training?
  
Plankton: Spongebob? (Spongebob is still licking the ice cream) Spongebob? (Spongebob eats the whole ice cream and is now licking what's left inside. Plankton uses his megaphone to get Spongebob's attention) Spongebob!!
+
'''Plankton:''' Yes. You just have to learn to be more assertive. And I can show you how.
  
Spongebob: (turns towards Plankton) Yeah? (spits out ice cream as he talks)
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'''SpongeBob:''' Assertive, huh?
  
Plankton: Isn’t it great to get the things you desire? Like that ice cream cone, for instance. (Spongebob licks his fingers) You can have anything you want with a little training. (Spongebob licks his fingers again)
+
'''Plankton:''' That’s right.
  
Spongebob: Training?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Anything I want. (licks his lips) Sounds great! (spits more ice cream at Plankton when talking)
  
Plankton: Yes. You just have to learn to be more assertive. And I can show you how.
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'''Plankton:''' Wonderful. (laughs evilly then SpongeBob joins in the laughing. Then an adult fish sits on SpongeBob) SpongeBob, don’t let that guy sit on you! Assertiveness lesson #1: tell him to get off!
  
Spongebob: Assertive, huh?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Umm, excuse me, sir, you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.
  
Plankton: That’s right.
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'''Plankton:''' No, no, be assertive! (SpongeBob puts his fingers in the guys pockets)
  
Spongebob: Anything I want. (licks his lips) Sounds great! (spits more ice cream at Plankton when talking)
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'''SpongeBob:''' Beep beep! (Plankton smacks forehead)
  
Plankton: Wonderful. (laughs evily then Spongebob joins in the laughing. Then an adult fish sits on Spongebob) Spongebob, don’t let that guy sit on you! Assertiveness lesson #1: tell him to get off!
+
'''Plankton:''' Not in-sertive! (adult fish checks his watch then walks away) SpongeBob, you missed your chance! You’ve got to be aggressive to get the things you want! You’re too soft!
  
Spongebob: Umm, excuse me, sir, you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' But I’m a spo...
  
Plankton: No, no, be assertive! (Spongebob puts his fingers in the guys pockets)
+
'''Plankton:''' Don’t say it! (Plankton spots the eel that took SpongeBob’s ice cream) There’s the guy who took your ice cream. Don’t you want it back?
  
Spongebob: Beep beep! (Plankton smacks forehead)
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'''SpongeBob:''' Ice cream! (Plankton gets up and runs behind the eel)
  
Plankton: Not (in)sertive! (adult fish checks his watch then walks away) Spongebob, you missed your chance! You’ve got to be aggressive to get the things you want! You’re too soft!
+
'''Plankton:''' Listen, you! My friend’s got something to say! (the eel turns around)
  
Spongebob: But I’m a spo...
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'''Eel:''' What, who said that? Was it you? (talking to SpongeBob)
  
Plankton: Don’t say it! (Plankton spots the eel that took Spongebob's ice cream) There’s the guy who took your ice cream. Don’t you want it back?
+
'''Plankton:''' Tell him off, SpongeBob. Assert yourself!
  
Spongebob: Ice cream! (Plankton gets up and runs behind the eel)
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'''SpongeBob:''' That’s my ice cream cone!
  
Plankton: Listen, you! My friend’s got something to say! (the eel turns around)
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'''Plankton:''' Great! Now let him have it!
  
Eel: What, who said that? Was it you? (talking to Spongebob)
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'''SpongeBob:''' You can have it.
  
Plankton: Tell him off, Spongebob. Assert yourself!
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'''Eel:''' Say, thanks! (walks off)
  
Spongebob: That’s my ice cream cone!
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'''Plankton:''' No! (jumps inside SpongeBob’s mouth) I’ll show ya how! Hey, pencil neck! (eel turns around) Yeah, you, slither over here! (eel walks over to SpongeBob) Surrender that ice cream cone or every waking moment for you will become a swarming torrent of pain and misery! (eel throws ice cream on SpongeBob’s face)
  
Plankton: Great! Now let him have it!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, that guy was crying!
  
Spongebob: You can have it.
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'''Plankton:''' Those were tears of joy! He was happy that you were assertive!
  
Eel: Say, thanks! (walks off)
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'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah!
  
Plankton: No! (jumps inside Spongebob's mouth) I’ll show ya how! Hey, pencil neck! (eel turns around) Yeah, you, slither over here! (eel walks over to Spongebob) Surrender that ice cream cone or every waking moment for you will become a swarming torrent of pain and misery! (eel throws ice cream on Spongebob's face)
+
'''Plankton:''' You see how wonderful life can be, when you’re maniacal?
  
Spongebob: Hey, that guy was crying!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Uhh, I thought it was called assertive.
  
Plankton: Those were tears of joy! He was happy that you were assertive!
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'''Plankton:''' Whatever.
  
Spongebob: Yeah!
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'''SpongeBob:''' Well, if it got me this ice cream, I like it! (throws the ice cream into his mouth, which lands on Plankton. later, SpongeBob is using a metal detector. It starts beeping really fast) I found something!
  
Plankton: You see how wonderful life can be, when you’re maniacal?
+
'''Fish:''' Uhh, excuse me, my metal detector broke. Can I use yours? (SpongeBob hands the equipment to him)
  
Spongebob: Uhh, I thought it was called assertive.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Sure!
  
Plankton: Whatever.
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'''Plankton:''' SpongeBob, this is your next lesson. Be aggressive! Tell that guy to take a hike!
  
Spongebob: Well, if it got me this ice cream, I like it! (throws the ice cream into his mouth, which lands on Plankton. later, Spongebob is using a metal detector. It starts beeping really fast) I found something!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Do you want to take a hike with me?
  
Fish: Uhh, excuse me, my metal detector broke. Can I use yours? (Spongebob hands the equipment to him)
+
'''Fish:''' Yeah.
  
Spongebob: Sure!
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'''Plankton:''' (angry) Now look what you’ve done! Tell that guy to go fall in a ditch!
  
Plankton: Spongebob, this is your next lesson. Be aggressive! Tell that guy to take a hike!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, go check in that ditch! (points to the ditch beside them. The fish jumps down in the ditch and finds a treasure chest)
  
Spongebob: Do you want to take a hike with me?
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'''Fish:''' Wow, buried treasure! Thanks!
  
Fish: Yeah.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Did you see that, Plankton? That guy found some buried treasure!
  
Plankton: (angry) Now look what you’ve done! Tell that guy to go fall in a ditch!
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'''Plankton:''' SpongeBob, you’ll never get it right! Tell that guy you know karate and you’ll tie him in a knot if you don’t get your metal detector back!
  
Spongebob: Hey, go check in that ditch! (points to the ditch beside them. The fish jumps down in the ditch and finds a treasure chest)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey! I’m gonna tie your shoe if you don’t give that back!
  
Fish: Wow, buried treasure! Thanks!
+
'''Fish:''' But I’m wearing sandals!
  
Spongebob: Did you see that, Plankton? That guy found some buried treasure!
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'''SpongeBob:''' Ok, never mind! (Plankton jumps off of SpongeBob) It’s alright, Plankton, he’s wearing sandals. What’s the matter?
  
Plankton: Spongebob, you’ll never get it right! Tell that guy you know karate and you’ll tie him in a knot if you don’t get your metal detector back!
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'''Plankton:''' (putting things into a suitcase) Oh, nothing, SpongeBob. (puts on a black hat) I was just beginning to think that this was a waste of time.
  
Spongebob: Hey! I’m gonna tie your shoe if you don’t give that back!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No it’s not!
  
Fish: But I’m wearing sandals!
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'''Plankton:''' Forget it! I guess you don’t have what it takes to be a stand-up guy.
  
Spongebob: Ok, never mind! (Plankton jumps off of Spongebob) It’s alright, Plankton, he’s wearing sandals. What’s the matter?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' But what about airline food?
  
Plankton: (putting things into a suitcase) Oh, nothing, Spongebob. (puts on a black hat) I was just beginning to think that this was a waste of time.
+
'''Plankton:''' What?
Spongebob: No it’s not!
+
Plankton: Forget it! I guess you don’t have what it takes to be a stand-up guy.
+
  
Spongebob: But what about airline food?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Airline food. My gosh, what is up with that stuff? Thank you, good night! (rimshot) See, I can be a standup guy. See? (Plankton throws his hat down)
  
Plankton: What?
+
'''Plankton:''' SpongeBob, you’ll never get what you want! You’ll always let people step all over you! You’re just like stairs!
  
Spongebob: Airline food. My gosh, what is up with that stuff? Thank you, good night! (rimshot) See, I can be a standup guy. See? (Plankton throws his hat down)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wait, Plankton, give me another chance!
  
Plankton: Spongebob, you’ll never get what you want! You’ll always let people step all over you! You’re just like stairs!
+
'''Plankton:''' Ok, but this is your last chance! (points to people trying to get a tan) Look at all those beach hogs soaking up your sunrays. Do you have what it takes to get a tan?
  
Spongebob: Wait, Plankton, give me another chance!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Just watch me! (runs over and waves a blanket up and down and builds up sand to make the beach-goers run away) Man, this thing is sandy!
  
Plankton: Ok, but this is your last chance! (points to people trying to get a tan) Look at all those beach hogs soaking up your sunrays. Do you have what it takes to get a tan?
+
'''Fred:''' My leg! (after everyone runs off, SpongeBob is laying on his back with a funnel acting as a sunlamp)
  
Spongebob: Just watch me! (runs over and waves a blanket up and down and builds up sand to make the beachgoers run away) Man, this thing is sandy!
+
'''Plankton:''' Yes, my plan is beginning to work! They’re leaving the beach! (SpongeBob now has a tan and looks brown) SpongeBob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?
  
Fred: My leg! (after everyone runs off, Spongebob is laying on his back with a funnel acting as a sunlamp)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, not all of me.
  
Plankton: Yes, my plan is beginning to work! They’re leaving the beach! (Spongebob now has a tan and looks brown) Spongebob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?
+
'''Hot Dog Man:''' Hot dogs! (the two look over to see the octopus vendor given six customers hot dogs with six of his tentacles) Hot dogs!  
  
Spongebob: Well, not all of me.
+
'''Plankton:''' Look at that huge line at the hot dog stand. Assert yourself to the front!
  
Hot Dog Man: Hot dogs! (the two look over to see the octopus vendor given six customers hot dogs with six of his tentacles) Hot dogs!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I’ll do better than that! (sticks his tongue out so far he grabs the hotdogs and eats them all. The hotdog stand closes down)
  
Plankton: Look at that huge line at the hot dog stand. Assert yourself to the front!
+
'''Plankton:''' SpongeBob that was genius! Look at all those kite flyers blocking your view!
  
Spongebob: I’ll do better than that! (sticks his tongue out so far he grabs the hotdogs and eats them all. The hotdog stand closes down)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' What?
  
Plankton: Spongebob, that was genius! Look at all those kite flyers blocking your view!
+
'''Plankton:''' Breaking your wind! (SpongeBob uses one of his teeth to boomerang it into cutting the strings off the kites)
  
Spongebob: What?
+
'''Larry:''' Hey SpongeBob, throw us the ball. (Larry and others are playing volleyball but SpongeBob pops the ball and screams like an elephant. Everyone walks off)
  
Plankton: Breaking your wind! (Spongebob uses one of his teeth to boomerang it into cutting the strings off the kites)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Plankton, did you see that? I was a regular alpha-male! Plankton? (Plankton is driving a crane) Plankton, all my asserting is driving everybody away!
  
Larry: Hey Spongebob, throw us the ball. (Larry and others are playing volleyball but Spongebob pops the ball and screams like an elephant. Everyone walks off)
+
'''Plankton:''' Exactly.
  
Spongebob: Plankton, did you see that? I was a regular alpha-male! Plankton? (Plankton is driving a crane) Plankton, all my asserting is driving everybody away!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' You didn’t tell me everyone would leave.
  
Plankton: Exactly.
+
'''Plankton:''' Oops. (pushes a button. A sign emerges from under the sand. The sign says "Mega Bucket")
  
Spongebob: You didn’t tell me everyone would leave.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Mega Bucket?! You used me...for land development! That wasn’t nice!
  
Plankton: Oops. (pushes a button. A sign emerges from under the sand. The sign says "Mega Bucket")
+
'''Plankton:''' Haven’t you figured it out, SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world! (laughs evilly)
  
Spongebob: (gasps) Mega Bucket?! You used me...for land development! That wasn’t nice!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, what about aggressively nice people?
  
Plankton: Haven’t you figured it out, Spongebob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world! (laughs evilly)
+
'''Plankton:''' Huh? What are you doing? (SpongeBob brings out the hot dogs he ate earlier and puts them back where they belong. Then he puts the kites back where they were) Wait, SpongeBob! Stop! (a girl is crying because she has sand on her ice cream. SpongeBob takes it and wipes the sand off with his eyebrows) Butterfly kisses. Can’t take it. It’s too cute! It’s...it’s disgusted! (Scooter is crying at his broken surfboard)
  
Spongebob: Well, what about aggressively nice people?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' What happened? (points to surfboard)
  
Plankton: Huh? What are you doing? (Spongebob brings out the hot dogs he ate earlier and puts them back where they belong. Then he puts the kites back where they were) Wait, Spongebob! Stop! (a girl is crying because she has sand on her ice cream. Spongebob takes it and wipes the sand off with his eyebrows) Butterfly kisses. Can’t take it. It’s too cute! It’s...it’s disgusted! (Scooter is crying at his broken surfboard)
+
'''Scooter:''' I hit a reef with my new board, dude!
  
Spongebob: What happened? (points to surfboard)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No problem! (makes himself a surfboard)
  
Scooter: I hit a reef with my new board, dude!
+
'''Scooter:''' Whoa! (grabs the surfboard) Killer!
  
Spongebob: No problem! (makes himself a surfboard)
+
'''Plankton:''' SpongeBob, stop! Before it’s too late! Your kindness is bringing everybody back! Get back! (everyone comes back) Wait! (everyone runs over Plankton. Scooter is surfing)
  
Scooter: Whoa! (grabs the surfboard) Killer!
+
'''Scooter:''' Cowabunga! (Scooter comes back on land and everyone cheers for him. SpongeBob goes back to his normal shape) Thanks, dude! That was awesome!
  
Plankton: Spongebob, stop! Before it’s too late! Your kindness is bringing everybody back! Get back! (everyone comes back) Wait! (everyone runs over Plankton. Scooter is surfing)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Gee, Plankton, I’m sorry about the Chum Bucket.
  
Scooter: Cowabunga! (Scooter comes back on land and everyone cheers for him. Spongebob goes back to his normal shape) Thanks, dude! That was awesome!
+
'''Plankton:''' Forget about that. I just can’t take so much kindness in one sitting! (bunches up into a ball) Need hatred. (crawls away)
  
Spongebob: Gee, Plankton, I’m sorry about the Chum Bucket.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Volleyball, anyone? (everyone uses SpongeBob as the ball) Service! (every time he is hit he says "ouch")
  
Plankton: Forget about that. I just can’t take so much kindness in one sitting! (bunches up into a ball) Need hatred. (crawls away)
+
{{Transcripts/Season 1}}
  
Spongebob: Volleyball, anyone? (everyone uses Spongebob as the ball) Service! (everytime he is hit he says "ouch")
+
[[Category:Transcript]]
{{Transscripts/Season 1}}
+
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 1]]
[[Category:Transscript]]
+

Latest revision as of 19:17, 19 April 2011

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Texas Fools in April

Episode Article: Walking Small

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(At Goo Lagoon where a toy bulldozer is taking down the "Welcome to Goo Lagoon" sign. Plankton jumps out of the bulldozer and laughs evilly. Then he puts two black & white road blocks in front of him and takes out a megaphone)

Plankton: Attention, beach-goers! You are trespassing! You have exactly seventeen minutes to haul your carcasses off the future site of the 'Chum Bucket Mega Bucket'. (takes out a sign that says 'future site of the mega bucket and plants it into the ground. The beach-goers can't hear anything but squeaking)

Woman: Do you hear something? (man sitting beside her shakes his head while the lifeguard tries to listen through his bullhorn)

Plankton: (takes out megaphone) Ok, have it your way. I don’t mind bulldozing over each and every one... (a kid comes over and picks up the bulldozer)

Kid: Mommy, look! Somebody left this toy tractor here.

Kid's Mom: Put that thing down, Billy, it has germs on it. (kid drops it and it lands beside Plankton)

Billy: Ohh, mom.

Plankton: (talks through megaphone) You’ll see. (throws away the megaphone) You’ll all see! The future site of the Chum Bucket Mega Bucket must be clear to these cretins beachgoers. But it’s becoming increasingly obvious. I can deny it no longer! (zoom out) I am small. I need someone big to clear the beach for me. I need... (giant foot almost steps on Plankton but he dives out of the way)) SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo! Steppin’ on the beach! Doo-doo-doo-doo!

Plankton: Yes. He’s the one. (laughs evily. The sand on his head falls off)

SpongeBob: I’ll have one... (some kid cuts in front of him)

Kid #2: Two please. (ice cream man gives him two ice creams) Thanks. (walks off)

SpongeBob: One please. (a green eel slithers through SpongeBob and grabs the ice cream)

Eel:' Excuse me. (walks off licking the ice cream)

SpongeBob: One please.

Ice Cream Man: Sorry, kid. We’re all out.

SpongeBob: Aww, barnacles. (he hears crying coming from Plankton, who's sitting on a bench with two ice creams) Plankton, what are you doing here? And why are you crying?

Plankton: Oh, hi, SpongeBob. (blows his nose) I’m cryin’ because I’ve got these two ice cream cones, but I only need one! (crys) I don’t know what to do with the other one! (cries then stops and looks at SpongeBob and cries again)

SpongeBob: I’ll eat one of those ice cream cones for ya.

Plankton: SpongeBob! Would you do that for me?

SpongeBob: Sure! (starts to lick the ice cream)

Plankton: SpongeBob? (SpongeBob is still licking the ice cream) SpongeBob? (SpongeBob eats the whole ice cream and is now licking what's left inside. Plankton uses his megaphone to get SpongeBob’s attention) SpongeBob!!

SpongeBob: (turns towards Plankton) Yeah? (spits out ice cream as he talks)

Plankton: Isn’t it great to get the things you desire? Like that ice cream cone, for instance. (SpongeBob licks his fingers) You can have anything you want with a little training. (SpongeBob licks his fingers again)

SpongeBob: Training?

Plankton: Yes. You just have to learn to be more assertive. And I can show you how.

SpongeBob: Assertive, huh?

Plankton: That’s right.

SpongeBob: Anything I want. (licks his lips) Sounds great! (spits more ice cream at Plankton when talking)

Plankton: Wonderful. (laughs evilly then SpongeBob joins in the laughing. Then an adult fish sits on SpongeBob) SpongeBob, don’t let that guy sit on you! Assertiveness lesson #1: tell him to get off!

SpongeBob: Umm, excuse me, sir, you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.

Plankton: No, no, be assertive! (SpongeBob puts his fingers in the guys pockets)

SpongeBob: Beep beep! (Plankton smacks forehead)

Plankton: Not in-sertive! (adult fish checks his watch then walks away) SpongeBob, you missed your chance! You’ve got to be aggressive to get the things you want! You’re too soft!

SpongeBob: But I’m a spo...

Plankton: Don’t say it! (Plankton spots the eel that took SpongeBob’s ice cream) There’s the guy who took your ice cream. Don’t you want it back?

SpongeBob: Ice cream! (Plankton gets up and runs behind the eel)

Plankton: Listen, you! My friend’s got something to say! (the eel turns around)

Eel: What, who said that? Was it you? (talking to SpongeBob)

Plankton: Tell him off, SpongeBob. Assert yourself!

SpongeBob: That’s my ice cream cone!

Plankton: Great! Now let him have it!

SpongeBob: You can have it.

Eel: Say, thanks! (walks off)

Plankton: No! (jumps inside SpongeBob’s mouth) I’ll show ya how! Hey, pencil neck! (eel turns around) Yeah, you, slither over here! (eel walks over to SpongeBob) Surrender that ice cream cone or every waking moment for you will become a swarming torrent of pain and misery! (eel throws ice cream on SpongeBob’s face)

SpongeBob: Hey, that guy was crying!

Plankton: Those were tears of joy! He was happy that you were assertive!

SpongeBob: Yeah!

Plankton: You see how wonderful life can be, when you’re maniacal?

SpongeBob: Uhh, I thought it was called assertive.

Plankton: Whatever.

SpongeBob: Well, if it got me this ice cream, I like it! (throws the ice cream into his mouth, which lands on Plankton. later, SpongeBob is using a metal detector. It starts beeping really fast) I found something!

Fish: Uhh, excuse me, my metal detector broke. Can I use yours? (SpongeBob hands the equipment to him)

SpongeBob: Sure!

Plankton: SpongeBob, this is your next lesson. Be aggressive! Tell that guy to take a hike!

SpongeBob: Do you want to take a hike with me?

Fish: Yeah.

Plankton: (angry) Now look what you’ve done! Tell that guy to go fall in a ditch!

SpongeBob: Hey, go check in that ditch! (points to the ditch beside them. The fish jumps down in the ditch and finds a treasure chest)

Fish: Wow, buried treasure! Thanks!

SpongeBob: Did you see that, Plankton? That guy found some buried treasure!

Plankton: SpongeBob, you’ll never get it right! Tell that guy you know karate and you’ll tie him in a knot if you don’t get your metal detector back!

SpongeBob: Hey! I’m gonna tie your shoe if you don’t give that back!

Fish: But I’m wearing sandals!

SpongeBob: Ok, never mind! (Plankton jumps off of SpongeBob) It’s alright, Plankton, he’s wearing sandals. What’s the matter?

Plankton: (putting things into a suitcase) Oh, nothing, SpongeBob. (puts on a black hat) I was just beginning to think that this was a waste of time.

SpongeBob: No it’s not!

Plankton: Forget it! I guess you don’t have what it takes to be a stand-up guy.

SpongeBob: But what about airline food?

Plankton: What?

SpongeBob: Airline food. My gosh, what is up with that stuff? Thank you, good night! (rimshot) See, I can be a standup guy. See? (Plankton throws his hat down)

Plankton: SpongeBob, you’ll never get what you want! You’ll always let people step all over you! You’re just like stairs!

SpongeBob: Wait, Plankton, give me another chance!

Plankton: Ok, but this is your last chance! (points to people trying to get a tan) Look at all those beach hogs soaking up your sunrays. Do you have what it takes to get a tan?

SpongeBob: Just watch me! (runs over and waves a blanket up and down and builds up sand to make the beach-goers run away) Man, this thing is sandy!

Fred: My leg! (after everyone runs off, SpongeBob is laying on his back with a funnel acting as a sunlamp)

Plankton: Yes, my plan is beginning to work! They’re leaving the beach! (SpongeBob now has a tan and looks brown) SpongeBob, that was wonderful! Is that an all-over tan?

SpongeBob: Well, not all of me.

Hot Dog Man: Hot dogs! (the two look over to see the octopus vendor given six customers hot dogs with six of his tentacles) Hot dogs!

Plankton: Look at that huge line at the hot dog stand. Assert yourself to the front!

SpongeBob: I’ll do better than that! (sticks his tongue out so far he grabs the hotdogs and eats them all. The hotdog stand closes down)

Plankton: SpongeBob that was genius! Look at all those kite flyers blocking your view!

SpongeBob: What?

Plankton: Breaking your wind! (SpongeBob uses one of his teeth to boomerang it into cutting the strings off the kites)

Larry: Hey SpongeBob, throw us the ball. (Larry and others are playing volleyball but SpongeBob pops the ball and screams like an elephant. Everyone walks off)

SpongeBob: Plankton, did you see that? I was a regular alpha-male! Plankton? (Plankton is driving a crane) Plankton, all my asserting is driving everybody away!

Plankton: Exactly.

SpongeBob: You didn’t tell me everyone would leave.

Plankton: Oops. (pushes a button. A sign emerges from under the sand. The sign says "Mega Bucket")

SpongeBob: (gasps) Mega Bucket?! You used me...for land development! That wasn’t nice!

Plankton: Haven’t you figured it out, SpongeBob? Nice guys finish last. Only aggressive people conquer the world! (laughs evilly)

SpongeBob: Well, what about aggressively nice people?

Plankton: Huh? What are you doing? (SpongeBob brings out the hot dogs he ate earlier and puts them back where they belong. Then he puts the kites back where they were) Wait, SpongeBob! Stop! (a girl is crying because she has sand on her ice cream. SpongeBob takes it and wipes the sand off with his eyebrows) Butterfly kisses. Can’t take it. It’s too cute! It’s...it’s disgusted! (Scooter is crying at his broken surfboard)

SpongeBob: What happened? (points to surfboard)

Scooter: I hit a reef with my new board, dude!

SpongeBob: No problem! (makes himself a surfboard)

Scooter: Whoa! (grabs the surfboard) Killer!

Plankton: SpongeBob, stop! Before it’s too late! Your kindness is bringing everybody back! Get back! (everyone comes back) Wait! (everyone runs over Plankton. Scooter is surfing)

Scooter: Cowabunga! (Scooter comes back on land and everyone cheers for him. SpongeBob goes back to his normal shape) Thanks, dude! That was awesome!

SpongeBob: Gee, Plankton, I’m sorry about the Chum Bucket.

Plankton: Forget about that. I just can’t take so much kindness in one sitting! (bunches up into a ball) Need hatred. (crawls away)

SpongeBob: Volleyball, anyone? (everyone uses SpongeBob as the ball) Service! (every time he is hit he says "ouch")


SpongeBob SquarePants - Transcript - Season 1 Season 2 >>
01a 01b 01c | 02a 02b | 03a 03b | 04a 04b | 05a 05b | 06a 06b | 07a 07b | 08a 08b | 09a 09b | 10a 10b
11a 11b | 12a 12b | 13a 13b | 14a 14b | 15a 15b | 16a 16b | 17a 17b | 18a 18b | 19a 19b | 20a 20b
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