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Episode Transcript: Texas
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Episode Article: Texas
Characters
Dialogue
SpongeBob: Good morning Bikini Bottom! Ahh, what a beautiful day! (SpongeBob's hand appears from a sand castle pineapple with his face drawn on his hand) I wonder if Patrick's at home.
Patrick: Hiya SpongeBob!(PatrickS hand comes over from a sand castle rock with his face drawn on his hand) Whatcha doin'?
SpongeBob: Goin' over to Sandy's place. (both hands walk off together, arrive at a sand castle rock peak.) Hey, what's this? This doesn't look like Sandy's place.
Sandy: Don't lose your barnacles boys. Hi-yah!( Chops sand castle peak down making a sand image of texas) There it is!
SpongeBob: What is it?
Sandy: Can't ya see? It's Texas?
SpongeBob: Texas? What's a Texas? (wave covers sand and ruins Sandy's Texas display)
Sandy: Ohh, it's nothing but a memory now.
SpongeBob: All right then. Let's make one of your tree dome.
Sandy: You know, all of a sudden, I don't feel like sand castles SpongeBob. I'll see y'all later.( Sandy walks off.)
SpongeBob: Sandy? Hi-yah! (makes a few karate noises)
Sandy: Aww, SpongeBob, I'm not feeling up to karate now.
SpongeBob: Oh-ho. I get it. Not feeling up to karate, huh? Whatever you say Sandy.( Turns around) Boy, I hope Sandy doesn't attack me from me from behind. Hi-yah! (grabs Don the Whale from behind and flips him over onto the ground. Don growls and punches SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Uhh, Sandy? (shown surfing in the air) Surf's up Sandy!
Sandy: No thanks (Enter's jellyfish feild.) (buzzing)
SpongeBob: (Runs after a jellyfish with a net)Boy, there's nothing like going jellyfishing! (Patrick runs after one while laughing, then falls on his face. He gets up and runs again)
SpongeBob: Look Sandy, we caught one!
Sandy: Listen SpongeBob, right now, I don't want to build sand castles, play karate, or eat jellyfish.
SpongeBob: (laughs) We don't eat 'em! We let 'em go!
Patrick: Fly away little critter!
SpongeBob: Go on, go back to where you belong. Run along, back to your family and friends. I know they miss you as much as you miss them. Hurry, before they forget you and leave you behind. Remember: there's no place like home! (Sandy cries filling her helmet with Tears. Takes a flusher handle and attaches it to her helmet. Pulls it down and all the water drains down)
SpongeBob: "Err sandy why are you crying?"
Sandy: I'm ain't crying! My helmet just sprung a leak!
SpongeBob: Sandy...
Sandy: Oh, I guess I'm just feeling a little homesick.
SpongeBob: Homesick, huh? (Sandy is blind-folded as SpongeBob & Patrick take her somewhere)
Sandy: Dog-gone it, SpongeBob, what is it?
SpongeBob: Tada!( the three are standing outside the Treedome)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Welcome home Sandy! (Sandy cries and runs into Treedome)
SpongeBob: Sandy?
Sandy: Go away.( pulls a lever wich brings down a metal covering on the Treedome)
SpongeBob: I don't get it, Patrick! What's wrong with Sandy?
Patrick: Maybe it's just a little squirrel thing.(a hole opens up in the top and Sandy comes out wearinhg a cowboy hat and holding a guitar. Sandy tunes it and starts to sing)
Sandy: (Singing) Wish I was back in Teaxs, The oceans no place for a squirrel.(live action texas senery appears behind her)Wish I was in texas, pretteist place in the world oh no.(notes come out of guitar)I know that deep in my heart, I'll always be a texas girl. I wanna go home(holds note)( while her singing continues, some clams howl along) ( as she keeps singing, SpongeBob and Patrick hear It)
SpongeBob: (gasps) patrick do you hear that? (patrick has the notes going around him)
Patrick: arrrgh! getthem off me!
SpongeBob:wait Patrick listen.
Sandy: (continues singing) I wanna wake up in texas. (live action secnery is shown) I miss those wide open skys. I miss my 20 acres, barbaques and peacorn pie so why? When Im so far from you texas, all I can do is cry,
( SpongeBob and Patrick start sobbing,Far away Mr. Krabs hears the song to and starts sobbing also and accidently gets hight by the cashier, two coustomers are also sobbing, one drys his eyes pon his Krabbypatty and gives it to the next person who blows his nose on it.
Sandy:(Ends song)I wanna go hoooommme.(man voice)I wanna go home.(as she sings she goes back into the Treedome.
(SpongeBob and Patrick continue sobbing and then stop)
Patrick: DEo you think she knows the MuffinMan song?
SpongeBob: Patrick. she sang that song from her heart. She really misses teaxs.
Patrick: So why don't we bring some of teaxs down here!
SpongeBob: Patrick,that's crazy! how would we-(pauses) hey, your right! Patrick your gueniuse is showing.
Patrick:(franticly covers groin) Where?
(SpongeBob and Patrick have gotten everything ready at the KrustyKrab).
SpongeBob: Okay! lets go and get Sandy!
Mr. Krabs: (from inside) well hurry up lad! we can't sqwat frorever like this!
(at Sandy's house where SpongeBob & Patrick are playing leap frog while going to her tree dome)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Krusty Krab! Krusty Krab! Sandy's surprise is at the Krusty Krab!
Patrick: Wait until she sees the...
SpongeBob: Shh! Don't spoil the surprise! (SpongeBob knocks, Sandy opens her door.)
SpongeBob: Hey Sandy! You want to come with us to the Krusty Krab?
Sandy: (walks out with 2 suitcases) Hey SpongeBob. Hey Patrick.
SpongeBob: What are you doing with those bags?
Sandy: I'm going back home to Texas.
SpongeBob: What?! Now?! You can't! I mean...
Sandy: Im sorry SpongeBob, but It's time for this tumbleweed to tumble along home.
SpongeBob: Wait Sandy! You can't! Uhh, we we're gonna...the...the...Krusty Krab...that's not the right direction! Wait, if you don't...I can't...augh! Sandy! Wait a second! You don't wanna leave without having one last Krabby Patty down at the Krusty Krab?
Sandy: I'm tired of fish food, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: But, Sandy, don't you want to say good-bye to all your friends down at the Krusty Krab?
Sandy: (gets on to bus)I just can't do that, SpongeBob. It'll be too sad.
SpongeBob: No, no! Wait! Sandy! (bus drives off) I can't believe she's gone.
Patrick: Yeah.What's so great about dumb ol' Texas? (bus speeds back doors open reveling a very angry Sandy.)
Sandy: What did you say?
Patrick: Texas is dumb.
Sandy: Don't you ever take the name of Texas in vain!
SpongeBob: You mean we can't say anything bad about dumb ol' Texas?
Sandy: No, you can't!
Patrick: Then can we say people from Texas are dumb?
Sandy: No! You can't say nuthin' about Texas!
SpongeBob: (gets idea) Oh, so you mean we can't say anything bad about... (turns around grabs his behind and shakes it and rolls eyes) ...Texas!
Sandy: (face gets red) I'm warnin' you, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Look Patrick, I'm Texas! Duh, howdy, y'all! Howdy y'all!
Patrick: I'm Texas too! Get a dog little longie! Get a dog!
SpongeBob: Howdy y'all!
Patrick: Get a dog little longie! Get a dog!
Sandy: Y'all just cut it out!
SpongeBob: (while Patrick does arpit burps)The stars at night are dull and dim, whenever they have to be over dumb ol' stupid Texas! (Sandy gets steaming mad)
SpongeBob: (in a Texas shape) Hey Patrick, what am I now?
Patrick: Uhh, stupid?
SpongeBob: No, I'm Texas!
Patrick: What's the difference! (SpongeBob and Patrick laugh)
Sandy: (drops suitcase) Y'all better apologize, or I'll be on you like ugly on an ape!
SpongeBob: You'll have to catch us first! (SpongeBob and Patrick run) We did it! We got her!
Patrick: Krusty Krab, here we come! (turns head round to Sandy) Can we say that plants from Texas from dumb?(goofily)Can we say that shoes from Texas are dumb?
SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, that's enough.
Patrick: Why? You think that old slowpoke Texas is gonna... (Sandy catches up with them)( Patrick finishes sentence) RUUUUUNNNN!!!!!!!
SpongeBob: Run faster, Patrick! (both of them scream)
Sandy: (Sandy ropes Patrick and brings him into the background)
Patrick: Ahh! SpongeBob! (Nuclear explosion is heard. SpongeBob screams. SpongeBob stops in front of a leaf and Sandy karate chops the leaf and SpongeBob in half)
Sandy: Hi-yah! Y'all better take back what ya said!
SpongeBob: No!(gets back together) Almost there! (Sandy's rope turns into SpongeBob, SpongeBob screams.)
SpongeBob: (as SpongeBob jumps for the Krusty Krab, Sandy throws her rope. SpongeBob hands onto the door as Sandy pulls SpongeBob towards her)
Sandy: SpongeBob, you've been messing with the bull! Now here comes the horns!
SpongeBob: Sandy, no! (the front of the Krusty Krab tears off as Sandy has pulled tight enough)
Everyone: Howdy, y'all!
Sandy: Wha-what's this?
SpongeBob: It's a party!
Patrick: (hopping over with arms and legs tie and coverd in bandages.) For you!
Sandy: For me?!
SpongeBob: It's your own little slice of Texas! Check it out Sandy! We got square dancing... (Flats is holding a square) ...giant Barbecues... (Squidward is holding a sharp, spiky Q while going on about the pain) ...homemade peas-in-a-can pie... (Pearl is holding a pie with a can of peas in it(closeup of it) ...and we got our very own 10 gallon hats! (SpongeBob and Patrick put on ten gallon water jugs on their head) So, what do ya think? Are you gonna stay? (Sandy starts to laugh and tears of laughter spew out and fill her helmet. Sandy uses her flush handle to drain it all out)
SpongeBob: Don't cry anymore, Sandy. I'll get your bags.
Sandy: I ain't cryin,' I'm laughin'! I appreciate what y'all are trying to do, SpongeBob, but home isn't about barbecues and pecan pies, home is where you’re surrounded by critters that care about ya. (Everyone gathers around Sandy)
Sandy: Huh, duh. What am I doing? I was home all along, and it took me until now to realize it.
SpongeBob: Does that mean you'll stay?
Sandy: I'm staying! (Everyone cheers)
Patrick: Yeah, who needs dumb ol' Texas! (cuts back to live action Island) Sandy: what did you say?! Patrick: eerr.. should I start running now?
