Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

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Episode Article: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

Characters

Dialogue

TV Announcer: Mermaid Man: Fleet and Forceful. With the ability to assemble and charge the creatures of the deep.

Mermaid Man: By the power of Neptune!

TV Announcer: Mermaid Man, with his young associate Barnacle Boy, fights for all creatures who live in the sea, against the forces of evil.

Villain: Oh, no! The Raging Whirlpool.

TV Announcer: Mermaid Man: Champion of the Deep.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Yay! Champion of the deep! Woo!

SpongeBob: (dressed up as Mermaid Man) Come, Barnacle Boy. There's evil afoot.

Patrick: (dressed up as Barnacle Boy) Leaping' Lampreys, Mermaid Man. I'm right behind you.

SpongeBob: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy spot their arch enemy, Reflecto, up to no good.

Squidward: SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: You know what this means.

Patrick: Donuts.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Ooohh.

SpongeBob: By the power of Neptune. (Patrick bites into the donut)

SpongeBob & Patrick: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy Unite!

SpongeBob: Creatures of the deep, assemble! (both go into deep thinking) Think...harder...Barnacle Boy. (jellyfish swims by) Here they come. (Squidward blows jellyfish away)

SpongeBob: Blast, Reflecto has become too powerful.

Squidward: (under a tent) What the? Ohh! RAGA...

SpongeBob: If Reflecto is cut off from sunlight, he becomes weak.

Patrick: Jumping Jellyfish, Mermaid Man. He's destroying the shield. (Squidward is destroying The 'Shield')

SpongeBob: Quick, Barnacle Boy, back to the sea cave.

Patrick: Right, Mermaid Man.

Squidward: SpongeBob! SpongeBob, open up!

SpongeBob: Reflecto has found our secret lab.

Patrick: What would the real Mermaid Man do?

Squidward: Why don't you go ask him yourself?

SpongeBob: Elaborate, you vile fiend.

Squidward: He and Barnacle Boy live in the retirement home on the other side of town.

SpongeBob: Hmm, they must be working undercover.

Squidward: Yeah...now please leave me alone.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy reunite! (Patrick now has 3 bites)

(At Shady Shoals Retirement Home)

SpongeBob: Excuse me, I know that Mermaid Man is working undercover on an important case, but you think we can see him?

Manager: Undercover? Yeah...well I'll see if they can take time from their busy schedule to see you. (SpongeBob and Patrick laughing as they walk in) There they are. Right over there. (SpongeBob and Patrick gasp)

Manager: Try not to surprise them.

SpongeBob: Patrick! Can you believe it?

Patrick: (holding onto SpongeBob) Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy in the flesh! (SpongeBob and Patrick walk in front of the TV)

Barnacle Boy: Hey, who are those guys?

Mermaid Man: Uhh, are they here to fix the TV?

(SB And Pat Are giggling)

Barnacle Boy: What do you want?

SpongeBob: Are you Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?

Barnacle Boy: Well, we used to be. But now we're retired.

(Patrick and SB Gasp.)

SpongeBob: But you can't retire! There's evil afoot.

Mermaid Man: Wha? what Evil. EVIL! Barnacle Boy! Don't Forget, there's evil!

SpongeBob: All I said that there was evil afoot.

Mermaid Man: EVIL! EEEEEEEEEEE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Barnacle Boy: Would you please stop saying that?

Mermaid Man: (hanging on a water fountain) EVIL! EVIL, EVIL, EVIL, EVIL, EVIL, BAAAAH! (water squirts at Mermaid Man) Disgrace! (manager picks SpongeBob and Patrick up and throws them out)

SpongeBob: Wow, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.

Patrick: It's too bad they're old.

SpongeBob: What do you mean, Patrick? Old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience. (captain gives a thumbs up) The world needs Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. Someone, somewhere, is in trouble, and I won't rest until Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are out of retirement. (fireworks appear)

Patrick: Ooh! Pretty lights!
(At The home's cafeteria)

Mermaid Man: To the meatloaf! To the broccoli! Make sure you give extra broccoli to my young ward. The boy needs his vitamins.

Cafeteria Lady: Here you go, son. Haha.

Mermaid Man: To the table, away!

Barnacle Boy: Careful! Don't run!

SpongeBob: Hey, Mermaid Man.

Mermaid Man: Uh, here comes the TV repairman.

Barnacle Boy: What do you want from us.

SpongeBob: Hold on. Just let me look at ya.

Mermaid Man: Stay alert, Barnacle Boy. He...he's up to something.

Barnacle Boy: Will you cut...will you stop calling me 'boy'?

SpongeBob: Do you remember the time the food supply in Atlantis was running low? So you invited a ray gun that makes things grow six times their size to shoot at the kelp gardens. But then the evil Man Ray swoops down and swipes the gun away and shoots all the algae. (Pretends to shoot) And he globs on the undersea Dome! (Splats on table) And then he starts sucking on the glass. (Sucks up his saliva)

Barnacle Boy: What's your point, kid?

SpongeBob: You guys are the greatest heroes of all time, and I think you should come out of retirement.

Mermaid Man: Listen up, you villains. I wanna eat my meatloaf. If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife.

Manager: What is going on in here?

Mermaid Man: You may kiss the bride! (SpongeBob gets kicked out)

Patrick: Did you re-unite our heroes?

SpongeBob: No, but I'm married.
(Back at the retirement home)

Mermaid Man: Up, up, and away. Up, up, and away.

SpongeBob: (dressed up as a woman) Oh, my. This purse is so big and heavy.

Patrick: (dressed up as the A robber) Hold it right there, ma’am. I'll be taking that.

SpongeBob: Aah! Help! Help! Help!

Patrick: It's working.

SpongeBob: Why, are you here to rescue little ol' me?

Barnacle Boy: Pipe down! You could wake Mermaid Man and he's ornery when he's disturbed.

(MM Has his eyes wide open)

SpongeBob: Ever alert, Mermaid Man has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open.

Barnacle Boy: Confound it, get away from him.

Mermaid Man: Stop shoutin'. I'm napping!!

Barnacle Boy: It’s not me, you ol' coot!

Retired Elderly #1: Yes.

Retired Elderly #2: That's me.

Retired Elderly #3: I'm over here.

(MM & BB Are arguing)

SpongeBob: Excuse me, Mermaid Man.

Mermaid Man: What do you want?

Barnacle Boy: This better be good.

SpongeBob: This'll cheer you up. We're almost done painting your invisible boat mobile.

Barnacle Boy: Gah! Yeah, but. It's suppose to be invisible. That's it! We gotta end our life of leisure. Time to come out of retirement. There's evil afoot.

Mermaid Man: EVIL! Where is it?

Barnacle Boy: There it is! (points at SB & Pat) You know what this means? (opens up box with shiny rings)

Mermaid Man: Donuts!

Barnacle Boy: Oh, brother. (puts ring on Mermaid Man and then they put them together) Say the oath.

Mermaid Man: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy UNITE! Throw a waterball at 'em!

SpongeBob & Patrick: Waterball! Waterball! (Barnacle Boy throws a waterball at SpongeBob)

Patrick: Hehehehehe.

Barnacle Boy: Mumbling morays. It's not working, Mermaid Man.

Mermaid Man:He's absorbing it like some kind of evil sponge.

Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy: Dog paddle, away!

Patrick: It's the waging whirlpool. (SB and Pat cheer)

Mermaid Man: Those fiends. They're actually enjoying it.

SpongeBob & Patrick: Do it again! Do it again! Do it again!

Barnacle Boy: Now what, Mermaid Man? We need help!

Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy: Sea creatures, UNITE! (sea creatures are retired so they come slowly)

Barnacle Boy: Hmm, the creatures of the deep seem to have lost some of their luster.

Mermaid Man: Sea creatures, attack!

SpongeBob: Pinch me, I must be dreaming. (sea creatures pick up SB & Pat) Mission accomplished, Patrick.

Patrick: Yeah, we did it. (sea creatures throw them out)

Mermaid Man: I did it. I feel 5 years younger. Oh, it's good to be back!

Barnacle Boy: We did it, you ol' coot.

Mermaid Man: Who are you?

TV Announcer: The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! We join our heroes locked in a battle of wits. (Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy play checkers when phone rings)

Mermaid Man: It's the Aqua phone! What is it, Chief? Uhh, hello? Hello? Hello? ("HANG UP" appears) The phone is still broken. Remind me to get that fixed. ("SIT" appears)

Barnacle Boy: Remind you of what?

Mermaid Man: Remind me of what?

TV Announcer: Will our heroes ever get their phones fixed? Tune in next week and find out.

SpongeBob: Wow. That was even better than the old show.

Patrick: It's all thanks to you. (SpongeBob winks)

WINK!

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