Transcript: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

Episode Article: The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie

Characters

• SpongeBob
• Patrick
• Plankton
• Mr. Krabs
• Mindy
• King Neptune
• Dennis (Old Man)
• Dennis (eliminator)
• Karen
• David Hasselhoff
• Squidward
• Sandy
• Mrs. Puff
• Pearl
• Tom
• Gary
• Larry the Lobster
• Citizens of Bikini Bottom
• The Monsters
• The Cyclops
• The Pirates
• Usher

Dialogue

Part 1

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie Part 1 [Movie starts with the 2002 Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon Movies logos] [the titles read "Paramount Pictures Presents," "A Nickelodeon Movies Production," and "in association with United Plankton Pictures"] [Seagulls flying across the sky while the screen pans and the open credits start. We then see a pirate on a look-out post. He moves upwards to get a better look at something with his telescope. The screen then shows the view in the telescope of a pirate on a dinghy]

Pirate on the Dinghy: [with a trunk] I got it! I got it! I got it!

Look-out Post Pirate: [Squints] Dinghy ahoy. [He then looks down to tell someone something] Dinghy off the port bow. Dinghy off the port bow! One Pirate: Dinghy off the port bow!

Pirates: [off-screen] Dinghy off the port bow!

Other Pirate: Captain, dinghy off the... [He is slammed in the face by a door as the captain walks on deck] Captain: Dinghy. [Lets the pirate in the dinghy onto the ship, along with the trunk]

Pirate Formerly on the Dinghy: I got it! I got it.

Captain: Where is it?

Pirate Formerly on the Dinghy: It's right here, captain.

Captain: [Opens the trunk] I never thought I'd see it with me own eye. [excitedly] Tickets to The SpongeBob Movie! [The pirates cheer and they sail to the movie theater, singing the SpongeBob SquarePants Theme Song] Pirates: ♪Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SpongeBob SquarePants. Absorbent and yellow and porous is he? SpongeBob SquarePants. If nautical nonsense be something you wish? SpongeBob SquarePants. Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish? SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. Sponge-Bob Square-Pants. SpongeBob SquarePants. Sponge-Bob Square-Pants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. SpongeBob SquarePants. Sponge-Bob Square-Pants!♪ [The pirates hog the snack bar and get some popcorn. They rush into the theater room, where the movie starts]

French Narrator: [We start out on the familiar Bikini Atoll Island.] Ah, the sea. So mysterious, so beautiful. So... uhh... wet. [The camera submerges underwater until it stops in front of the Krusty Krab.] Our story begins in Bikini Bottom's popular undersea eatery, the Krusty Krab restaurant, where...

[The camera pans down into Bikini Bottom in front of the Krusty Krab]

Police: Back off! Back off! [waves arms to back off at reporters/citizens]

French Narrator: Hey, wait a minute. What is happening?

[The screen pans out to show the Krusty Krab is surrounded by cops.]

Mr. Krabs:(first lines) Please settle down... [Referring to the Krusty Krab] We've got a situation in there! I'd rather not discuss 'til me manager gets here!

Female Fish: [off-screen] Look, there he is!

[A black boat with orange flames drives up; A leg, is wearing a black boot with an orange snake on it in the shape of an "S," steps out of the vehicle when it is stopped, A Sponge climbs out of the limousine. He walks toward the Krusty Krab and blows a bubble]

SpongeBob SquarePants: (first lines) Talk to me, Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, it started out as a simple order: a Krabby Patty with cheese. When the customer took a bite, no cheese! [he cries, but SpongeBob slaps him]

SpongeBob: Get a hold of yourself, Eugene. I'm going in. [SpongeBob walks in and sees a fish, extremely nervous, looking at his Krabby Patty.] Take it easy, friend. I'm the manager of this establishment. [He puts a briefcase down on a table.] Everything's gonna be just fine. Phil: I'm really scared here, man....

SpongeBob: [Opens the briefcase.] You got a name?

Phil: [Nervously] Phil.

SpongeBob: [Puts on gloves.] You got a family, Phil? [Phil chokes over his words, unable to speak. SpongeBob snaps.] Come on, Phil, stay with me. Let's hear about that family.

Phil: I got a wife and two beautiful children.

SpongeBob: [Puts on a headset from the briefcase.] That's what it's all about. I want you to do me a favor, Phil.

Phil: What?

SpongeBob: [SpongeBob picks a slice of cheese out from his briefcase with some tweezers.] Say "cheese." [SpongeBob dramatically and slowly attempts to put the cheese on the Krabby Patty. He then kicks the door open, Phil in his arms. The crowd gasps. The cheese on the Krabby Patty sparkles.] Order up.

All: [But SpongeBob, Cheer and then lift SpongeBob up on their shoulders.] Three cheers for the manager! Hip! Hip! [his alarm clock honks] Hip! Hip! [his alarm clock honks] Hip! Hip! [his alarm clock honks] Hip! Hip! [his alarm clock honks] Hip! Hip! [his alarm clock honks]

[Honk continues from dream, the screen now shows SpongeBob in his bedroom. He turns off his honking foghorn alarm clock.]

SpongeBob: Hooray! Gary, I had that dream again! And it’s finally going to come true! [He runs over to his calendar.] Today! Sorry about this calendar. [He tears off the calendar page for the day before to reveal "March 7." On the page, it has a picture of the Krusty Krab 2 with rainbows and hearts around it.] Because today is the grand-opening ceremony for The Krusty Krab 2, where Mr. Krabs will announce the new manager.

Garold Gary Wilson Jr.The Snail:(first word) Meow

SpongeBob: Who's it gonna be, Gary? [he chuckles to himself] Well, let's ask my wall of 374 consecutive employee-of-the-month awards. [Camera pulls up, revealing many "employee of the month" portraits]

SpongeBob Employee.of.the.Month Awards: SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob: I'm ready. Promotion. [Goes into the walk-in shower, eats soap, inserts a hose in his head, and puffs up until soap comes out. SpongeBob then pulls out paper-like fabric, which he folds into his pants. The back springs off, revealing his rear, which he covers up. He blushes and walks off-screen sideways. Then he brushes his eyes with toothpaste and wipes off the foam] Cleanliness is next to manager-liness. [Goes outside and runs around in circles] I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion. [The scene is zooming to The house, and then cuts to an Octopus in his bathroom]

Squidward J.Q Tentacles:(first lines) ♪La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, La da dee, la da doo, la da dum.♪ Squidward and SpongeBob: [In unison] ♪La da dee, la da doo, la da dum, La da d...♪

SpongeBob: ♪...ee, la da doo, la da dum, Bum Bum Bum, Da da da...♪

Squidward: [interrupts him, and covers himself] SpongeBob! What are you doing in here?!

SpongeBob: I have to tell you something, Squidward.

Squidward: Whatever it is, can't it wait until we get to work?

SpongeBob: There's no shower at work.

Squidward: What do you want?!

SpongeBob: I just wanted to say I'll be thanking you in my managerial acceptance speech today.

Squidward: [yelling] Get out! [kicks him out the window]

SpongeBob: Okay. I'll see you at the ceremony. [Runs into a Starfish, who comes out of his rock]

Patrick Star:(first lines) That sounds like the manager of the new Krusty Krab 2. [notices he doesn't have his trunks on] Oops. Hold on. [Rock closes, with Patrick on it. Then it opens again with Patrick wearing his shorts] Congratulations, buddy.

SpongeBob: Oh, thanks, Patrick. And tonight, after my big promotion, we're gonna party till we're purple.

Patrick: I love being purple!

SpongeBob: We're going to the place where all the action is.

Patrick: You don't mean...?

SpongeBob: Oh, I mean.

SpongeBob and Patrick: Goofy Goober's Ice Cream Party Boat!

[Rock closes up on them, and opens up a few seconds later. They now have Goofy Goober hats on, and a record begins playing on a record player beside Patrick]

SpongeBob: [Notices his watch] I'd better get going! I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion.

Patrick: Good luck, SpongeBob. Hey, look for me at the ceremony. I got a little surprise for you. ♪I'm a Goofy Goober, yeah.♪ [Bounces away]

[The scene cuts to a large crowd gathered in front of the Krusty Krab. Bikini Bottom news reader Perch Perkins is on TV with his microphone, reporting]

Perch Perkins: (first lines) Hello, Bikini Bottom! Perch Perkins here, coming to you live from in front of The Krusty Krab restaurant, for years the only place to get a delicious and mouthwatering Krabby Patty. Until today, that is. That's right, folks. Longtime owner Mr. Krabs is opening a new restaurant called The Krusty Krab 2. [the crowd applauds] First of all, congratulations, Mr. Krabs. [Krabs has a big grin on his face]

Mr. Krabs: Hello. I like money.

Perch Perkins: What inspired you to build a second Krusty Krab right next door to the original?

Mr. Krabs: Money. [Everyone laughs]

[A Jelly Bean Creature with One Eye is watching the entire scenario out the window of the Chum Bucket]

Sheldon J Plankton: (first lines) Curses! It's not fair! Krabs is being interviewed by Perch Perkins, and I've never even had one customer! [the word "customer" is heard echoing in the kitchen. Plankton groans and moans while sweating]

Karen Plankton:(first lines) Don't get worked up again, Plankton, I just mopped the floors.

Plankton: Oh, Karen, my computer wife, if only I could have managed to steal the secret to Krabs' success, the formula for the Krabby Patty. Then people would line up to eat at my restaurant. Lord knows I've tried. I've exhausted every evil plan in my filing cabinet...from A to Y.

Karen: A to Y?

Plankton: Yeah, A to Y. You know, the alphabet.

Karen: What about Z?

Plankton: Z?

Karen: Z. The letter after Y.

Plankton: [Searches through cabinet] W, X, Y, Z. [Grabs Plan Z] Plan Z! Here it is, just like you said. Karen: Oh, boy.

Plankton: [Looks at Plan Z] Oh! Oh! Ohhh! It's evil. It's diabolical. [Sniffs it] It's lemon-scented. This Plan Z can't possibly fail! [Goes outside] So enjoy today, Mr. Krabs, because by tomorrow, I'll have the formula. Then everyone will eat at the Chum Bucket, and I will rule the world! All hail Plankton. All hail Plank...! [SpongeBob runs by and unknowingly squashes him and he screams] Ow!

SpongeBob: I'm ready, promotion! I'm ready, promotion!

Plankton: [While being stepped on by SpongeBob] Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

SpongeBob: [Stops running] Eww, I think I stepped in something. [Tries to scrape Plankton off. Plankton yelps when SpongeBob tries to scrape him off]

Plankton: [muffled] Not in something, on someone, you twit!

SpongeBob: Oh. Sorry, Plankton. [Looks at smeared Plankton and pulls him off his shoe] Are you on your way to the grand-opening ceremony?

Plankton: No, I am not on my way over [mocks SpongeBob] to the grand-opening ceremony. [Jumps four times] I'm busy planning to rule the world! [Chuckles]

SpongeBob: Well, good luck with that. [Runs off] I'm ready. Promotion. I'm ready. Promotion...

Plankton: [Plankton looks at the viewers] Stupid kid. [walks back to the Chum Bucket]

[Later, Mr. Krabs is at a stand in front of the Krusty Krab 2. The crowd is still gathered there, seated]

Mr. Krabs: Welcome. Welcome, everyone, to the grand opening of The Krusty Krab 2. [The crowd applauds]

Mrs.Poppy Puff: [Angry] (first lines) We paid $9 for this?

Sandra Sandy Jennifer Olivia Cheeks: [Also Angry] (first lines) I paid 10!

SpongeBob: [applauding wildly] Yay! Yeah! Ow! Ow, ow! Yeah! Now we're talking! Yeah! Ow! [leans towards Squidward and shushes him] Shh!

Mr. Krabs: Yes. Well, anyway, the new manager is a loyal, hard-working employee.

SpongeBob : [Thinking] Yes.

Mr. Krabs: The obvious choice for the job.

SpongeBob: [Thinking] He's right.

Mr. Krabs: A name you all know. It starts with an S.

SpongeBob: [Thinking] That's me.

Mr. Krabs: Please welcome our new manager... Squidward Tentacles! [A banner falls with Squidward's face on it. The crowd began to cheer and clap, but SpongeBob did instead.]

SpongeBob: [excitedly] Yes! Yeah! [Dances around then he shakes Squidward's hand] Oh, better luck next time, buddy. Whoo! [Cheers as he runs to the stage] Whoo-hoo-hoo! Yeah! All right! Whoo! [Grabs the microphone] People of Bikini Bottom, as the manager of...

Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hold the phone, folks, I'm getting an important news flash from Mr. Krabs. Go ahead, Mr. K. [Mr. Krabs whispers into his ear.] I'm making a complete what of myself? [Mr. Krabs whispers again] The most embarrassing thing you've ever seen? [Mr. Krabs whispers a third time] And now it's worse because I'm repeating everything you say into the microphone?

Mr. Krabs: [Annoyed] Oh, for crying out loud, SpongeBob! You didn't get the job!

SpongeBob: What?

Mr. Krabs: You... did not... get... the job.

SpongeBob: But... but why?

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you're a great fry cook, but I gave the job to Squidward because being manager is a big responsibility. Well, let's face it, he's more... mature than you.

SpongeBob: I'm not... mature?

Mr. Krabs: Lad, I mean this in the nicest of ways, but there's a word for what you are, and that word is... now, let's see...

Lenny: Dork?

Mr. Krabs: No, wait, that's not right. Not a dork.

Pearl Krabs:(first lines) A goofball?

Mr. Krabs: Closer, but no, no, no.

Fred: A ding-a-ling.

Jimmy: Wing nut.

Mable: A Knucklehead McSpazatron!

Mr. Krabs: OK, that's enough! Look, what I'm trying to say is, you're just a kid. And to be a manager, you have to be a man. Otherwise they'd call it "kid-ager." You understand-ager? I mean, you understand?

SpongeBob: I guess so, Mr. Krabs.

[SpongeBob walks away]

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: [Depressed] I'm ready. Depression. I'm ready. Depression.

Mr. Krabs: Poor kid.

[Patrick appears flying on a banner naked with a "Go SpongeBob" flag in his butt]

Patrick: Hooray for SpongeBob! Hooray for SpongeBob!

[Patrick accidentally hits the stage which sets on fire. Everyone except for Patrick runs away]

Patrick: Let's hear it for SpongeBob! Hello? Where'd everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?

Part 2

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie Part 2

Part 3

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie Part 3

Part 4

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie Part 4

Part 5

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie Part 5

Cast

Part 1

 Tom Kenny  ...  SpongeBob / Narrator / Gary / Clay / Tough Fish #2 / Twin #2 / Houston Voice (voice)  
 Bill Fagerbakke  ...  Patrick Star / Fish #2 / Chum Customer / Local Fish (voice)  
 Clancy Brown  ...  Mr. Krabs (voice)  
 Rodger Bumpass  ...  Squidward / Fish #4 (voice)  
 Mr. Lawrence  ...  Plankton / Fish #7 / Attendant #2, Lloyd (voice)  
 Jill Talley  ...  Karen, The Computer Wife / Old Lady (voice)  
 Carolyn Lawrence  ...  Sandy (voice)  
 Mary Jo Catlett  ...  Mrs. Poppy Puff (voice)  

Part 2

 Tom Kenny  ...  SpongeBob / Narrator / Gary / Clay / Tough Fish #2 / Twin #2 / Houston Voice (voice)  
 Bill Fagerbakke  ...  Patrick Star / Fish #2 / Chum Customer / Local Fish (voice)  
 Scarlett Johansson  ...  Mindy (voice)  
 Clancy Brown  ...  Mr. Krabs (voice)  
 Rodger Bumpass  ...  Squidward / Fish #4 (voice)  
 Jeffrey Tambor  ...  King Neptune (voice)  
 Mr. Lawrence  ...  Plankton / Fish #7 / Attendant #2, Lloyd (voice)  

part 3

 Tom Kenny  ...  SpongeBob / Narrator / Gary / Clay / Tough Fish #2 / Twin #2 / Houston Voice (voice)  
 Bill Fagerbakke  ...  Patrick Star / Fish #2 / Chum Customer / Local Fish (voice)  
 Scarlett Johansson  ...  Mindy (voice)  
 Clancy Brown  ...  Mr. Krabs (voice)  
 Rodger Bumpass  ...  Squidward / Fish #4 (voice)  
 Mr. Lawrence  ...  Plankton / Fish #7 / Attendant #2, Lloyd (voice)  
 Jill Talley  ...  Karen, The Computer Wife / Old Lady (voice)  
 Alec Baldwin  ...  Dennis (voice)  

part 4

 Tom Kenny  ...  SpongeBob / Narrator / Gary / Clay / Tough Fish #2 / Twin #2 / Houston Voice (voice)  
 Bill Fagerbakke  ...  Patrick Star / Fish #2 / Chum Customer / Local Fish (voice)  
 Scarlett Johansson  ...  Mindy (voice)  
 Clancy Brown  ...  Mr. Krabs (voice)  
 Rodger Bumpass  ...  Squidward / Fish #4 (voice)  
 Mr. Lawrence  ...  Plankton / Fish #7 / Attendant #2, Lloyd (voice)  
 Jill Talley  ...  Karen, The Computer Wife / Old Lady (voice)  
 Alec Baldwin  ...  Dennis (voice)  

part 5

 Tom Kenny  ...  SpongeBob / Narrator / Gary / Clay / Tough Fish #2 / Twin #2 / Houston Voice (voice)  
 Clancy Brown  ...  Mr. Krabs (voice)  
 Rodger Bumpass  ...  Squidward / Fish #4 (voice)  
 Bill Fagerbakke  ...  Patrick Star / Fish #2 / Chum Customer / Local Fish (voice)  
 Jeffrey Tambor  ...  King Neptune (voice)  
 Scarlett Johansson  ...  Mindy (voice)  
 Mr. Lawrence  ...  Plankton / Fish #7 / Attendant #2, Lloyd (voice)  
 Jill Talley  ...  Karen, The Computer Wife / Old Lady (voice)  
 Carolyn Lawrence  ...  Sandy (voice)  
 Mary Jo Catlett  ...  Mrs. Poppy Puff (voice)  
 Alec Baldwin  ...  Dennis (voice)

The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie