Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV

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Idiot Box	Doing Time

Episode Article: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV

Characters

• SpongeBob SquarePants
• Patrick Star
• Squidward Tentacles
• Sandy Cheeks
• Plankton
• Mrs. Puff
• Mermaid Man
• Barnacle Boy
• Larry the Lobster
• Scooter

Announcer: Ahh, the Krusty Krab. Through these doors pass all the many kinds of undersea life.

Mermaidman: Through the double doors! Away!

Announcer: And also these guys.

Barnacleboy: I told you I'm not hungry, Mermaidman!

Mermaidman: N-nonsense, Barnacleboy, we've got to keep up our strength for the fight against evil!

Barnacleboy: What a dive.

Mermaidman: To the register! Away!

Squidward: Can I help you?

Mermaidman: A double krabby patty and coral bits for me, and a silly meal for the lad.

Barnacleboy: It's not for the toy, I just...I've gotta fit in the tights, y'know?

Squidward: Whatever. Five dollars, please.

Mermaidman: You got it, bucky. Will this cover it? (pulls out a nut/bolt)

Squidward: No.

Barnacleboy: Listen big nose, this guy has been saving your butt since you were born. Don't you got a living legend discount or something?

Squidward: This is a restaurant, not a lending library. And who are you calling big nose, big nose? (both press noses against each other. Barnacleboy gets out a $5 bill and gives it to Squidward)

Barnacleboy: Well next time danger threatens, don't expect any help from us!

Squidward: I’m shakin’. Heh. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy.

Spongebob: Mermaidman and Barnacleboy? Must...play...bowling! (stretches arms to get a bowling ball and bowling pins)

Mermaidman: If you wanna grow up strong like me...you gotta leave room for seconds. Here comes our waiter!

Spongebob: BOWLING!!!!

Barnacleboy: Holy sea cow, it's that Sponge-kid!

Mermaidman: Quick lad, (pants falls down) to the invisible boatmobile! Away!

Barnacleboy: Where'd we park?

Mermaidman: Uhh...

Spongebob: Can I have your bowling can I have your bowling can I.. they're gone! (gasps) Mermaidman's belt!

Mermaidman: Wait! We'll find it with the invisible boat alarm! (Barnacleboy jumps on the stick shift)

Barnacleboy: Ow! I told you we shoulda’ got the automatic!

Spongebob: Hey guys! Wait up! I've got something for you...

Barnacleboy: Floor it! (both speed off in the boat)

Spongebob: You forgot your belt! You forgot...Mermaidman's secret utility belt! The emblem of submersible justice! For 65 years, this belt has helped prevent the fall of nations...and pants. I can't believe I'm actually holding it in my hands! Well, I guess I should return it. Or not! I could just hang onto it till after work...all alone with Mermaidman's belt. I wonder what this button does! Whoa! The small ray! Hmm...

Squidward: Here's your shake, sir. (hands a small krabby patty to a cockroache)

Spongebob: There you go. Every night before he went to sleep, Jonah would pray and ask God if he find a new message to find to deliver, sir.

Squidward: Spongebob, what's going on in here? Huh? Why's everything all... tiny?

Spongebob: I don't know.

Squidward: What do you got there?

Spongebob: Nothing.

Squidward: No, really?

Spongebob: Nothing.

Squidward: You've got something alright, let's see it!

Spongebob: No! No!

Squidward: Is that Mermaidman's belt?

Spongebob: Yes.

Squidward: Wow! I can't believe he'd lend it to you!

Spongebob: Me, uh, either.

Squidward: He didn't lend it to you, did he?

Spongebob: Please don't tell!

Squidward: You stole it!

Spongebob: Please don't tell!

Squidward: Oh. I'm telling.

Spongebob: Squidward, if Mermaidman finds out, he'll kick me out of his fan club for sure! Please don't tell!

Squidward: Uh-oh! There's the phone

Spongebob: Don't!

Squidward: I'm walking towards the phone! (walks towards phone)

Spongebob: No!

Squidward: I'm getting closer to the phone!

Spongebob: Do-o-on't!

Squidward: And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for...

Spongebob: I'm begging you!

Squidward: (picks up the phone) Hello. I'd like to speak to Mermaid... (Spongebob shrinks Squidward) What the...what... (phones hits Squidward) Ow!

Mermaidman: Hello? Hello?

Squidward: What did you do to me?

Spongebob: I'm sorry Squidward, but you made me do it!

Squidward: Spongebob, if you don't return me to normal size right now, you are gonna be in really big trouble!

Spongebob: Uhh....ok...uhh...

Squidward: I said now!

Spongebob: Uhh...uhh... (belt is shown with many buttons to it)

Squidward: Do you hear me? (Spongebob changes Squidward into a multi-eyed Squidward) Holy fish paste! Get it off me! Get it off me! (takes eyes off him) Don't you know how to work that thing?

Spongebob: Uhh, I can do it! (Spongebob changes Squidward a lot)

Squidward: Sto-o-p! I've got an idea. Let's call Mermaidman and...

Spongebob: No! I can't let you do that! But there must be someone else who can help! Someone smart and wise, with years of life experience...Patrick! Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!

Patrick: Ehh? Huh? Oh. Hi Spongebob.

Spongebob: Patrick, I was at work and Mermaidman and Barnacleboy came, and I got this belt, and look

Patrick: A Squidward action figure! Let me play with it!

Spongebob: No, Patrick!

Patrick: Fighter pilot! Dive bomb!

Spongebob: Patrick!

Patrick: And here comes a giant fist!

Spongebob: Patrick, no! That's not an action figure! That's the real Squidward! I shrunk him by accident.

Patrick: Oh...and here comes a giant fist!

Spongebob: Pat, you don't understand! This is serious! I don't know how to unshrink him! He could be stuck like this for the rest of his life.

Patrick: Oh, don't worry about it. He'll find love one day...

Spongebob: You think so?

Patrick: Well, sure. But it'll be with someone his own size. Like this pickle! See? They like each other!

Squidward: N-n-n-n-no. (Patrick bangs them together like they wanna kiss)

Spongebob: Oh, if only I knew how to work this thing!

Patrick: Lemme take a look at it.Hmmm...you know what the problem is?

Spongebob: What?

Patrick: You got it set to 'M' for Minnesota when it should be set to 'W' for Where. br>

Spongebob: Patrick, I don't think Where is a royal word.

Squidward: I wonder if a fall from this height could be enough to kill me.

Spongebob: Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you.

Patrick: Well alright then. Let 'er rip! It worked!

Spongebob: Oh no!

Patrick: Look, Spongebob's giant! Can I be giant next?

Spongebob: Patrick, I'm not giant, you shrunk too!

Patrick: You're kidding! Good thing I still got this pickle!

Squidward: Hey! Now will you take us to Mermaidman!

Spongebob: No! He can never find out! But I'll think of something. I promise. Until then, you'll be safe in this jar.

Patrick: You know what's funny? My pickle started out in a jar, and now it's in one again! Heh. It's like a pun or something. Heheh.

Spongebob: It's only two people... no big deal, nobody else saw it...

Sandy: Howdy, Spongebob!

Spongebob: Aah! Sandy! (shrinks Sandy)

Sandy: What did y...for cryin’ o...What did y'all do to me?

Spongebob: I'm sorry Sandy! Mermaidman came in and..

Larry: Hey Spongebob (shrinks Larry)

Fish #1: Hey Spongebob, I... (shrinks fish)

Fish #2: Hi Spongebob. (shrinks fish)

Mrs Puff: Hello Spongebob. (shrinks Mrs Puff)

Scooter: Sponge-dude! (shrinks Scooter)

Spongebob: Whoo! I'm gonna have to get a bigger jar.

Squidward: Spongebob, will you just face facts? You've shrunken everybody in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaidman!

Spongebob: Oh Squidward, he'll be so disappointed...

Sandy: Well, you can't leave us small forever!

Spongebob: You don't understand!

Mrs Squarepants: Spongebob, you need to admit your mistakes!

Spongebob: Mom?!

Mermaidman: Your mother's right, son. Mermaidman will understand.

Barnacleboy: You're Mermaidman, you old coot!

Mermaidman: Oh yeah.

Spongebob: Mermaidman? I'm so sorry, it's just that I'm such a big fan, and your belt, and...

Mermaidman: Oh, don't worry son. I understand. Why, I remember back when I first used the belt, the year was nineteen o eleventeen twelve, why I believe the president

All: Just tell him how to unshrink us!!!!!

Mermaidman: Oh, yes. The unshrink ray... let's see, uh.. uh... did you set it to Where?

All: What?! (spells out GET SPONGEBOB!) Get Spongebob!! Ahh!

Squidward: Now I have to drive five miles to go to the bathroom in my own home!

Sandy: And I need an elevator to climb one stair! HI-YA!

Mermaidman: We've been shrinking for years!

Barnacleboy: But this is ridiculous!

All: Everything's too big!!

Spongebob: I've got it! (Shrinks town) Ta-da! Since I couldn't make you big, I made the city small! And now, only one more thing to shrink. Cheese! (shrinks self)

Squidward: I guess this is okay.

Larry: Yeah, what's the difference?

Lady fish: Good idea, Spongebob. (everyone cheers as a bus comes back and Plankton gets off of it)

Plankton: Well, it's great to be back! (notices small Bikini Bottom)