Episode Transcript: Imitation Krabs

Revision as of 20:21, 5 April 2021

Episode Article: Imitation Krabs

Characters

• SpongeBob
• Plankton
• Mr. Krabs
• Squidward
• Mr. Krabs (robot)
• Hans

Dialogue

Narrator: Ah, the Krusty Krab. Home of the Krabby Patty, with its top secret formula. Known only to those who are brave enough and intelligent enough to comprehend its culinary complexity. (SpongeBob is balancing a spatula on his nose behind the register)

SpongeBob: Look Mr. Krabs. I’m doing it, I’m doing it!

Mr. Krabs: Quit fooling around SpongeBob, we got customers.

Narrator: But wherever there’s a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it. (Plankton laughs evilly while standing in the head of a robot fish. The head falls down)

Plankton: Ouch! (robot’s arm turns into a mirror) And now for the final touch. (puts on a mustache) Perfect! With this disguise, that formula is as good as mine. (laughs then wheels himself into the restaurant) Are you SpongeBob SquarePants? (SpongeBob looks in a mirror)

SpongeBob: Why, yes-- yes I am. (the robot/man holds up a big check)

Robot: Than you’ve just won one million dollars! (SpongeBob gasps) You just have to answer one question. What is the Krabby Patty secret formula? (SpongeBob inhales) Yes? (SpongeBob inhales more) Yes? (SpongeBob inhales even more) Yes?!

SpongeBob: The Krabby Patty formula is the sole property of the Krusty Krab and is only to be discussed in part or in whole with its creator Mr. Krabs. Duplication of this formula is punishable by law. Restrictions apply, results may vary. (mustache falls off the robot. Plankton crashes through the teeth)

Plankton: (growls) That’s it! (jumps on SpongeBob’s nose and holds his eyelids) You’d better cough up that secret formula or else!

Mr. Krabs: Plankton!

Plankton: Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: Plankton!

Plankton: Krabs!

SpongeBob: SpongeBob. (Mr. Krabs grabs Plankton and a straw then puts Plankton in the straw)

Plankton: You can’t do this to me Krabs. (Mr. Krabs blows Plankton back to the Chum Bucket) I went to college!

Mr. Krabs: That Plankton is a clever beast. You’ve got to keep a sharp eye out for him, SpongeBob. The Krabby Patty law must be enforced. The future of the Krusty Krab depends on it.

SpongeBob: Don’t worry Mr. Krabs, as long as these pants are square, and this sponge is Bob, (lifts his arms up) I will not let you down!

Mr. Krabs: Uh, SpongeBob? (he's holding Mr. Krabs) Could you let me down? (cut to later, at the Krusty Krab)

Fish: Man, these patties sure are delicious. I wonder what’s in that secret formula. (siren goes off. SpongeBob slides down the pole from the crow's nest)

SpongeBob: Code twelve, code twelve! (SpongeBob bounces off a trampoline and grabs the customer's head) Your disguises can’t fool me this time, Plankton! (pulls the head off to reveal a smaller head on the customer)

Fish: Everyone at the head enhancement clinic said nobody would notice. (runs off crying)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! You’re scaring away me money.

SpongeBob: Sorry Mr. Krabs, I was just trying to protect the secret formula.

Mr. Krabs: That’s no reason to rip other people’s heads off, boy! Just remember the most important rule.

SpongeBob: No free napkins?

Mr. Krabs: No, the other most important rule. Regarding the secret formula.

SpongeBob: Only discuss the formula with Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: As long as you do that, the secret is safe.

Squidward: I always thought the most important rule was "why do today what you can put off 'till tomorrow?"(laughs)

Mr. Krabs: What is today, but yesterday’s tomorrow?

Squidward: Huh? (cut to Mr. Krabs and Squidward in a storage room)

Mr. Krabs: Today, I want you to take inventory on everything in here; every last pickle and patty must be accounted for.

Squidward: Aye aye, captain. (Mr. Krabs leaves. When Squidward walks over to the stock, glowing eyes appear) Two boxes of buns. Three pounds of patties.

Robot Krabs: (mechanical voice) Mr. Squidward...

Squidward: What now, Mr. Krabs?

Robot Krabs: That’s right, I am Krabs.

Plankton: Your boss, your ruler, your master! (laughs evilly)

Robot Krabs: Ha, ha, ha. (exhaust smoke spurts out)

Squidward: You’re not Mr. Krabs.

Robot Krabs: Hey, why don’t you take the rest of the day off?

Squidward: (chuckles and runs to the door) Well... whatever you say, "Mr. Krabs." (laughs) Whoopee! (runs out as SpongeBob walks in)

SpongeBob: Hi, Mr. Krabs.

Plankton: Oh, sweet domination. This is it!

SpongeBob: No sign of Plankton, yet. Gosh, Mr. Krabs. You don’t look so good. (touches his body) Ooh, you’re so cold. (knocks on his pants)

Robot Krabs: That’s just my metal suit. I made it to protect the formula.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!

Plankton: It’s that thick-headed Krabs. He’ll ruin everything.

Robot Krabs: Look, a jellyfish. (SpongeBob takes out his net and runs around)

SpongeBob: I got it, I got it! (Plankton presses the "Abort" button. When he does, Robot Krabs shrinks into a toaster) I got it, I got it! (Mr. Krabs enters)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! (SpongeBob stops and looks at the toaster then at Mr. Krabs)

SpongeBob: (knocks on Mr. Krabs' pants) Hey Mr. Krabs, what happened to your metal pants?

Mr. Krabs: Don’t get all loopy on me, boy. I need your help. And where in the high seas is Squidward?

SpongeBob: You gave him the day off.

Mr. Krabs: (pupils get smaller) Day... off?! (Mr. Krabs is so mad that he makes steam come out of the chimney) I don’t know the meaning of them horrible words. Now quit your laying around SpongeBob, and take out that garbage. It's starting to give me a rash. (exits)

SpongeBob: Yes sir, Mr. Krabs, sir. (puts a clothespin on his nose is going to take the trash out but Robot Krabs stops him) Hey Mr. Krabs, just taking out that garbage.

Robot Krabs: Never mind that. I need to talk to you. (takes the trash bag and makes it disappear with his laser eyes)

SpongeBob: Whoa-ho, Mr Krabs. I didn’t know you had heat vision.

Robot Krabs: Never mind. I need you to tell me...

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?

Robot Krabs: Yikes! (runs off)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I’m not paying you to stand around, (gives him a spatula) Get back to the kitchen.

SpongeBob: But I thought you wanted to ask me a question.

Mr. Krabs: Yes... why aren’t you working harder?

SpongeBob: I don’t know, Mr. Krabs... I don’t know. (both walk out)

Plankton: I’ll never get that formula with that pest Krabs popping in and out like that. I’ve got it! I’ve been saving this for a rainy day. (holds up a penny) It looks like an ordinary penny... because it is an ordinary penny. That fool Krabs is too greedy to ignore you, my little pretty. (laughs. The penny pops out of the nose and rolls around into Mr. Krabs' office)

Mr. Krabs: That sound, it sounds like... the pitter-patter of... (sees the penny) money! (squeals) Hey, where you going, beautiful? (SpongeBob knocks on Mr. Krabs' door)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs... (the penny slides out of the office) Wha... (Mr. Krabs busts down the door on top of SpongeBob)

Mr. Krabs: Stop! Please! (the penny slides between the crack of the doors) Wait! (Robot Krabs is hiding behind the sign pole)

Robot Krabs: Nothing stands between me and that secret formula now. (snaps off some of the Krusty Krab sign pole. As he laughs evilly, the sign falls on top of him) Ouch. (cut to SpongeBob, who is scrubbing the floor)

SpongeBob: Scrub-a-dub-dub, I love to rub. (Robot Mr. Krabs rolls by) Hey Mr. Krabs, just doing a little scrubbin'.

Robot Krabs: Hello SpongeBob, it is me, Mr. Krabs. (exhaust pipe smokes) In the flesh. (exhaust pipe smokes again) Standing right in front of you. (pipe smokes again) With no one else around.

SpongeBob: I can see that, Mr. Krabs.

Robot Krabs: I thought we might discuss the Krabby Patty secret formula. (a microphone comes out of Robot Krabs)

SpongeBob: Isn’t that a microphone?

Robot Krabs: What? Oh, yes it is. (puts microphone back inside his body) I must get this shirt cleaned. Alright, now tell me the secret formula.

SpongeBob: But sir, we haven’t done the secret handshake yet.

Robot Krabs: Oh yes. Here, let’s shake.

SpongeBob: (chuckles) We don’t shake with our hands, remember?

Robot Krabs: Uh, right, why don’t you start?

SpongeBob: We stand on one foot. (they do) Balance a glass of chocolate milk on our heads and sing the Bikini Bottom National Anthem. (they do )

Music: "Feel Like a Million"

Plankton He wants to come on up to your house, have some supper…

Plankton (Spoken):

What will you serve it on, SpongeBob? Plastic Tupper?

Plankton (Sung):

You don't even own a fixer-upper! Help me to help you to help him!

SpongeBob (Spoken):

Help you to help me to help… who?

Plankton (Spoken):

I need gold, Kronk! (Notices her mistake, laughs) I mean, you need gold.

Plankton (Sung):

So sign your name on this line.

Avoid disaster.

SpongeBob (Spoken):

"You'll achieve a true and beautiful connection with your father."

Plankton (Spoken):

Just faster.

Plankton (Sung):

Win Mr. Krabs's love, with a pile of plaster.

Help me to help you to help him. And then you'll hear him say,

"Hey, hey, hey,

I'm milking the Milky way, I'm loving this lovely day. And I

feel like a million!" Wow-zee-wow, this Karen is back and how!

I'm taking my big time bow when I feel like a million! A million, a million, a million!

(talking) Rawr! Yes! Now, sell! Sell! SELL!

Step right up ladies and gentlemen, it's finally arrived, the cure for anything that ills you, ha ha, Plankton's Young and Beautiful!

SpongeBob:

(talking) Uh, it's a Youth Potion.

Crowd:

(talking) Woah.

SpongeBob:

(talking) Here you go!

Penny:

(talking) Hey, SpongeBob, does this stuff really work?

SpongeBob:

(laughs and then whispers to Plankton) Hey, does this stuff really work?

Plankton:

(whispers back) Of course it does, you idiot!

SpongeBob:

(talking) Of course it does, you idiot!

Crowd:

(talking) Gasp!

Penny:

(talking) Good enough for me!

SpongeBob:

(talking) Drink up everybody… liquid gold.

Robot Krabs:

(talking) Look at my range of motion!

My elbow doesn't creak!

I'm melting away the pounds!

Hair, I've got hair!

My golly, this stuff really works!

Plankton:

(singing again) Hey, hey, hey, I'm milking the milky way,

I'm loving this lovely day.

And I feel like a million!

Rrrrow-zee-wow, this Karen is back and how!

And I'm taking my big time bow

When I feel like a million,

Feel like a million in a million waaaayyyys !!!

(talking, to the audience) Look out, old Plankton's back! Haaaahahahahaha! Robot Krabs: Formula time?

SpongeBob: Almost.

Narrator: Six and a half hours later. (Plankton grunts frantically as he gets Robot Krabs into a cannon and fired out, through a flame ring, and onto a chair at a table. He opens up the robot's chest and dumps some spaghetti in there)

Robot Krabs: Yum yum, this spaghetti sure is good. Belch.

Music: "Let's Groove" Let's groove tonight Share the spice of life Baby slice it right We're gonna groove tonight

Let this groove get you to move It's alright (alright) alright Let this groove set in your shoes So stand up (alright) alright

Gonna tell what you can do with my love Alright Let you know girl You're looking good you're out of sight Alright Just move yourself And glide like a seven-forty-seven And lose you're self in the sky Among the clouds in the heavens 'cause

Let this groove light up your fuse It's alright (alright) alright Let this groove set in your shoes So stand up (alright) alright

Let me tell you what you can do with my love Alright Gotta let you know girl You're looking good you're out of sight Alright Just tell the d.j. to play your favorite tune Then you know it's okay What you found is happening now

Let this groove get you to move It's alright (alright) alright Let this groove set in your shoes So stand up (alright) alright

Let this groove get you to move It's alright (alright) alright yeah Let this groove set in your shoes So stand up (alright) alright

You will find a piece of mind On the floor take a little time Come and see, you and me Make a little sign I'll be there after a while If you want my love We can boogie on down Down boogie on down Down boogie on down yeah Down boogie on down On down Boogie on

Let's groove tonight Share the spice of life Baby slice it right We're gonna groove tonight

Let this groove light up your fuse It's alright (alright) alright Let this groove set in your shoes So stand up (alright) alright

Let this groove light up your fuse It's alright (alright) alright Let this groove set in your shoes So stand up (alright) alright

Let this groove light up your fuse It's alright (alright) alright Let this groove set in your shoes So stand up (alright) alright

Let's groove tonight Share the spice of life Baby slice it right We're gonna groove tonight

Let this groove light up your fuse It's alright (alright) alright Let this groove set in your shoes So stand up (alright) alright

Let this groove light up your fuse It's alright (alright) alright Let this groove set in your shoes So stand up (alright) alright

v - e - d The-emperors-new-groove-52ee986bde64c.png Categories: SongsRomance songsThe Emperor's New GrooveNon-Disney songs Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted. Add a comment about Let's Groove No Comments Yet

Be the first to comment on Let's Groove!

Robot Krabs: Okay, now let’s hear that formula.

SpongeBob: Sorry, no can do, Mr. Krabs. (Robot Krabs' eyes set on fire)

Robot Krabs: What?!

Plankton: BUT WE DID EVERYTHING YOU SAID! I FOLLOWED ALL THE RULES! I EVEN ATE 105 BLACK LICORICE JELLYBEANS THROUGH A STRAW!

Robot Krabs: Now why can’t you tell me the formula?

SpongeBob: It’s your rule. Never speak the formula. You told me to keep it in this bottle. (holds up a bottle with a piece of paper in it)

Plankton: This is it, Plankton. Gently, now... (pushes on a lever that makes Robot Krabs' arm stretch out more. A penny rolls through the door and Mr. Krabs comes in. Everyone gasps)

Mr. Krabs: How could you do this to me, SpongeBob? Giving me formula to this impostor!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, no! Don’t listen to him. I’m the real Mr. Krabs.

Robot Krabs: Don’t listen to him. He’s obviously a robot. (exhaust pipe smokes)

Mr. Krabs: Well, if I was a robot, which I’m not, at least I’m well put together. Not some rusted-out, steam-driven piece of junk.

Robot Krabs: Who are you calling steam-driven?

SpongeBob: QUIET! (SpongeBob is holding a giant hose that is attached to a giant machine of tarter sauce) Until I know who the real Mr. Krabs is, nobody moves, nobody gets hurt.

Mr. Krabs & Robot Krabs: Tarter sauce?

Mr. Krabs: Take it easy with that thing, son. (SpongeBob squirts some tartar sauce at Mr. Krabs causing him to jump into Robot Krabs' arms)

SpongeBob: I’ll do the talking around here. I think I’ll just ask you two a couple of questions. Questions only the real Mr. Krabs could answer.

Mr. Krabs: Okay then.

SpongeBob: First question: what time does the Krusty Krab open?

Robot Krabs: 9:30am.

SpongeBob: Right. (to Mr. Krabs) That’s one strike, Mr. Fake.

Mr. Krabs: But...

SpongeBob: (interrupts) I’m running this quiz show, I’ll ask the questions. If there’s gonna be any 'buts', they’re gonna be from me. Okay, question number two: how much does a Krabby Patty cost?

Mr. Krabs: $2.99.

SpongeBob: On Wednesday...

Robot Krabs: 99 cents.

SpongeBob: Right again! (to Mr. Krabs) You’re starting to look pretty phony right about now. I’d be nervous if I were you. Now only the really real Mr. Krabs could answer this-- if we’re discussing the secret formula on the third Wednesday in January and it’s not raining outside after we’ve gargled with vanilla pudding, what do we do?

Mr. Krabs: That’s an easy one. You just...just... let’s see... if it’s January... with, uh, vanilla pudding you, uh... pass? (Mr. Krabs is shot out of the Krusty Krab, covered in tartar sauce, in a fry basket) No, SpongeBob! Give me another chance! Nooo!

SpongeBob: So long, imitation Krabs. Buh-bye. (walks back inside) I knew it was you all along Mr. Krabs, here you go. (holds up the formula bottle)

Robot Krabs: Thank you, Sponge Dupe. (grabs bottle and laughs mechanically. SpongeBob sees a penny on the ground)

SpongeBob: Oop! Don’t forget your lucky penny. (puts the penny inside a slot on Robot Krabs that is labeled "Self- Destruct: 1 cent") This must be your lucky day. (laughs)

Karen (Computer Voice): The self-destruct coin slot has been activated. Ten seconds till detonation.

Plankton: Coin-operated self-destruct? Not one of my better ideas.

Robot Krabs: Heeeelp! (screams as he wheels back to the Chum Bucket but explodes when he gets inside)

Plankton: Ouch. (the formula bottle rolls back to the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: If that was Plankton... uh-oh.

Mr. Krabs: Help!

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! (runs to Mr. Krabs, who is still in the fry basket)

Hans: Mmm… yum-yum.

Mr. Krabs: Back you hungry hand, back! Help! (SpongeBob wheels Mr. Krabs back to the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: Gee, Mr. Krabs. I’m sorry. I thought you were a phony.

Mr. Krabs: Phew, that’s okay, me lad. Long as the secret formula’s safe again. (takes the bottle) However, that penny’s coming out of your paycheck. (both laugh)

SpongeBob: Really?