Episode Transcript: Pressure

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy]]
+
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
+
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
+
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
 
*[[The Seagulls from Land]]
 
*[[The Seagulls from Land]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
Sandy: (looking at the clouds) You know, SpongeBob, sometimes it's nice to just get off my hang-glider and just relax.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' (looking at the clouds) You know, SpongeBob, sometimes it's nice to hang up my hang-glider and just watch the clouds roll by.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah. Just relax. (sighs) They're beautiful.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yup, and just relax.<br>
  
Sandy: Yeah.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Yeah. Relax.<br>
  
SpongeBob: That one looks like a flower.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! You know what that cloud looks like?<br>
  
Sandy: They all look like flowers, SpongeBob.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' What?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah. All dirty and all sweaty.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' A flower.<br>
  
Sandy: You know, normally I'd race you to the top of that mountain, but who would want to do that. <br>
+
'''Sandy:''' They all look like flowers, SpongeBob. All the time.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' They sure do.<br>
  
Sandy: And, we'd all know who would get to the top first.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' You know, normally, I'd offer to race you to the top of coral cliffs. But I don't want to miss out on a second of this beautiful beauty.
  
SpongeBob and Sandy: Yeah. Me.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Me either. Who wants to get all dirty anyway?
  
SpongeBob: Very funny, Sandy. I thought you said you could beat me at a climbing contest.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Yeah. And sweaty. Besides, I think we'd know who'd get to the top first.<br>
  
Sandy: Of course I can! I'm a squirrel. See? (points to her acorn badge)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah.<br>
  
SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts. <br>  
+
'''SpongeBob and Sandy:''' (laughing) Me.<br>
  
Sandy: Nope, that means I'm a natural climber from the upper world.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' That's funny, Sandy. It sounded like you said you could beat me in a climbing contest.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (laughs) Land-smash, it's all about fingers, land-lady, and what we have got plenty of down here are finger muscles! (his fingers do poses) What do you think about that, air breather? <br>
+
'''Sandy:''' 'Course I can! I'm a squirrel. See? (points to her acorn badge)<br>
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' I thought that meant you were nuts. <br>
 +
 
 +
'''Sandy:''' Nope, it means I'm a natural born climber. I'm from the surface world, and nothing prepares you for climbing like growing up on good ol' dry land. <br>
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' (laughs) Land-shmand, it's all about finger strength, baby, and if there's anything we've got plenty of down here, it's finger strength! (his fingers do poses) What do you say to that, "Miss Mittens"? <br>
 
   
 
   
Sandy: Well, I'd say I'm already halfway there. (SpongeBob begins to climb the mountain, unleashes rocks at him)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' I'd say I'm already halfway there!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Hey! You did that on purpose.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Ahh! (begins to climb the mountain) No fair, Sandy! You got a head start!<br>
  
Sandy: That was an accident! This was on purpose! (throws more rocks at him) I hope you didn't forget your umbrella.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Sorry, SpongeBob, that's the way the coral crumbles! (collapses the rock SpongeBob is climbing on)<br>
  
SpongeBob: (holds on to an umbrella and floats up).<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey! (gets back on another rock) You did that on purpose!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Sentence enhancers?<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Yeah, but this is an accident! (unleashes more rocks at him. SpongeBob screams as he falls.) Too bad you forgot your umbrella!<br>
  
Sandy: Well. It's about time you got here.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (holds on to an umbrella and floats up). I didn't! (laughing)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Ooh. I bet you can't beat me to the Krusty Krab<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Well. It's about time you showed up.<br>
  
Sandy: There is no way a sea creature is gonna beat me at running.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' But you were-I saw you-I-I-I want a rematch! First one to the Krusty Krab is the winner!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Well I'd say I'm already halfway there...halfway there (zoom out to reveal a busted record repeating "halfway there")<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Ain't no way a sea critter can run faster than a land critter.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (laughing, hits a brick wall, Sandy jumps on his sponge body).<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I can underwater! I'm... HYDRODYNAMICALLY DESIGNED! Think you can win a fair race in that clunky tin tube?<br>
  
Sandy: See? I told you y'all can't...<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Why don't you ask my behind! That is, if you can catch it! What do you say to that, HydroPants?<br>
  
SpongeBob: (dressed as an old man) There you are! Lay on your land creature stuff to keep an old sea creature waiting! (rips off suit, laughing) <br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I say I'm already halfway there!-halfway there! (zoom out to reveal a record player)-halfway there!-halfway there!.<br>
  
Sandy: I though y'all wanted a rematch.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' (gasps) Hey! (SpongeBob laughs but hits a brick wall. Jumps on SpongeBob) Thanks for the face lift! (laughs as she runs to the Krusty Krab) You see, I told you you didn't have a ch-
  
Patrick: (comes along)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (dressed as an old man) There you are! Ain't just like a land creature to keep a sea creature waiting! (rips off suit, laughing) <br>
  
Squidward: What's all the laughing!<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' I though y'all wanted a rematch.<br>
  
Patrick: She says land creatures are better.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I did! And I took a head start like you did!<br>
  
Sandy: Ok, you sea creatures got the upper hand in swimming. But we land creatures are way better than y'all sea creatures.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Well, I was just funning with you that time! But I guess all y'all underwater don't have to play fair!
  
Patrick: At what?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I guess I don't, air breather!<br>
  
Sandy: Oh, at darn everything I guess. Horse riding and cow roping and pie eating and...<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Water sucker!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: (comes along and Sandy finishes)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Tree climber!<br>
  
SpongeBob: I'll admit. You got some pretty good moves, for a squirrel.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Gulf streamer!<br>
  
Patrick: I bet they can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite. (gulps a patty down) Ah.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Kite flier!<br>
  
Sandy: Give me that. They don't call me Cheeks for nothing. (tries to eat it, but her air helmet blocks it. Everyone else begins to laugh)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Chum chewer!<br>
  
Patrick: Thank you, thank you.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Take that back! You... (nervously) not wet person!<br>
  
Sandy: Well, there's just one thing.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Aha! You can't even come up with another name! That proves it!<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Can you do this? (his eyeballs go into his head) Everyone in my family can do that.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Proves what?<br>
  
Sandy: Uh...uh...
+
'''Sandy:''' That land critters are better than sea critters!<br>
  
Squidward: How about this? (balances six spinning plates on a stick with his tentacles) Huh?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (walks to the two) Better at what?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Can you reproduce by budding. (begins to do it) Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? Can ya?<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Oh, dern near everything, I guess. Cattle roping and pie eating and wood chopping and flying!<br>
  
Sandy: No!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' (walks to the three) What's she blabbering about?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Most importantly...can you do this? (All except Sandy begin gasping three times without releasing any breath)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' She says land creatures are best.<br>
  
Sandy: Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway?<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Only 'cause it's true! We're best at horse riding and fur styling and rowing. Y'all got us licked in swimming, but we've got corn chucking, (Mr. Krabs walks to the four) and hay bailing, and barn raising, and fishing! (SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs all gasp) And name calling, for sure!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything a sea creatures can do. In fact, if wasn't for that suit, you couldn't live down here!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' And drowning, don't forget drowning!<br>
  
Sandy: Well, you know... (all continue laughing) I don't need to... (all laughing harder) Grr... I'll show ya all! I don't need this air suit! (takes off suit, and all gasp)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (laughing) Good one, Squidward! (jumps to hi-five Squidward) Woo!<br>
  
Sandy: And I don't need this helmet neither! (throws helmet to ground)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Not on your life, sport. (SpongeBob falls)<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve her!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I'll admit, you've got some pretty good moves. For a squirrel. (SpongeBob and the rest except Sandy start laughing) But you're still just a land creature.<br>
  
Squidward: How long can she stay like that?<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Squirrels can do anything they want to!<br>
  
SpongeBob: I don't know!<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' I bet you can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite. (gulps a patty down) Ah.<br>
  
Patrick: Sandy's a girl?<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Give me that. They don't call me Cheeks for nothing. (tries to eat it, but her air helmet blocks it. Everyone else begins to laugh)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Wow Sandy. I guess I was wrong. Land creatures really are best. At least until they have to breathe... (Sandy winks) Feelin' light-headed yet? (Sandy shakes her head) Remember this? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath in and out)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Thank you, thank you.<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: It's free! (Mr. Krabs takes a deep breath too)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Well, that's just one thing.<br>
  
Sandy: (starts suffocating underwater, then she puts her head into a pickle jar.)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Can you do this? (his eyeballs go into his head) Everyone in my family can do that.<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: I knew it! There was no way some "airhead" was gonna win anything against a water breather!<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Uh...uh...<br>
  
Patrick: Airhead... (laughs. The top of his head deflates like a balloon) Huh? (puts thumb in mouth and blows. His head becomes round at the top.)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' How about this? (balances six spinning plates on a stick with his tentacles) Huh?<br>
  
Sandy: All right already! You've had your laugh. Now it's my turn! You sea creatures flopping around and swimming with your fancy fins and gills such. But there's no way you old wetheads could last even a minute in my turf.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Can you reproduce by budding? (begins to do it) Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? Can ya?<br>
  
Squidward: Do we need pickle jars? (all begin to laugh)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' No!<br>
  
Sandy: (leads them all to a hill) Well?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Most importantly...can you do this? (all except Sandy begin gasping three times without releasing any breath)<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Well, um... we're late.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway?<br>
  
Squidward: Ya, late. We're all late for...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything us sea creatures can do. In fact, if wasn't for that suit, you couldn't even live down here!<br>
  
Patrick: A fitting!<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Well, you don't... (all continue laughing) I don't need to... (all laughing harder) Grr... I'll show y'all! I don't need this suit! (takes off suit, and all gasp) And I don't need this helmet neither! (throws helmet to ground)<br>
  
Sandy: Fit what? Your chicken costumes!
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Neptune preserve her!<br>
  
Patrick: (holding popcorn) We are not chickens! (drops popcorn) Huh! My popcorn! (begins pecking on it like a chicken)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' How long can she stay like that?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah, we can do it. (looks at his reflection on the surface and puts his finger above the water) There. Mission acomplished.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know!<br>
  
Sandy: Tell you what. You stay one minute there. And I forfeit the contest.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Sandy's a girl?<br>
  
SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: We're ready! (Patrick, Mr. Krabs and Squidward go at the back of SpongeBob, making him the first.)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, Sandy. You sure proved us wrong. I guess land creatures are better. At least until they need to breathe... (all but Sandy laugh. Sandy winks) Yup, won't be long now. Feelin' light-headed yet? (Sandy shakes her head) Remember this? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath in and out)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Well, here I go.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' It's free! (Krabs then takes a deep breath too)<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Wait, SpongeBob! (gives him a glass)<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' (starts suffocating underwater, then puts her head into a pickle jar. all others start laughing.) Stop laughing at me!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr. Krabs (drinks from it) Here I go! Hey, it isn't so bad here.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I knew it! There was no way some "airhead" was gonna win anything against a water breather!<br>
  
Patrick: Well, I'll do this quick. Cannonball!
+
'''Patrick:''' Airhead... (laughs. The top of his head deflates like a balloon) Huh? (puts thumb in mouth and blows. His head becomes round at the top.)<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: (goes up)
+
'''SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Sea creatures rule! (chanting) Water! Water! Water!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah, Mr. Krabs!
+
'''Sandy:''' All right, all right! You had your little laugh. But now it's my turn! Y'all think you're such hot stuff, don't ya! Swimming around with your fancy gills and such. But none of you wetheads would last a minute on my turf. Dry land!<br>
  
SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Do we have to wear pickle jars? (all but Sandy begin to laugh)<br>
  
Squidward: Well, ok. But I won't like it. (goes up. laughing stops.) What?<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Nope, nothing but the clothes on your backs.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Well, here we are.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' One minute? No problem, Landy! (all but Sandy begin to laugh)<br>
  
Squidward: This is pretty easy.<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' (all but her are still laughing, as she leads them all to a hill. As they see land, they stop laughing) Well? So are you going or not? (the four of them stammer)<br>
  
Patrick: I could keep a second rock up here.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Actually, you know, (stammers)<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Once you get your land legs it's not so bad!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' We-we can't, uh... because...<br>
  
SpongeBob: We are the masters of land and sea!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' We're late for our...um...<br>
  
SpongeBob: (approaching birds) Hey, a local. Hi, we're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks?
+
'''Patrick:''' Our fitting!<br>
  
Sandy: 5,4,3,2,1. Wow. They made it. Better congratulate them. (goes up, discovers the birds attacking them, attacks the birds) Hey! You can't eat my friends like that!<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Oh, you mean for your chicken costumes!<br>
  
(back underwater)
+
'''Patrick:''' (holding and eating popcorn) Hey! We are not chicken! (drops popcorn. He gasps.) My popcorn! (begins pecking on it like a chicken)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Wow, Sandy! Thanks for saving our butts back there.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, we're not chicken, we'll do it. (looks at his reflection on the surface and puts his finger above the water) There. Mission accomplished.<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Free cheers for land creatures and sea creatures! Hep hep!<br>
+
'''Sandy:''' Look, unless you can stay above water for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures!<br>
  
SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No, way, San-day. We can take on your challenge! <br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Hep hep!<br>
+
'''Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah!
  
SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We're not afraid of your dumb old land!
  
Mr. Krabs: Hep hep!<br>
+
'''Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah!
  
Seagulls: Hooray.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We're sea creatures!<br>
  
 +
'''SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah!
  
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay! Well, this is it.<br>
  
 +
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Wait, boy! (gives him a glass) Make it last.<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Thanks, Mr. Krabs. (drinks from it) Okay! Here I go! (gasps out of water) Hey, this isn't so bad. We can do this! Hey, Patrick, come on up! The air is fine!<br>
 +
 +
'''Patrick:''' I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with. Cannonball! (goes up to shore) Hey, I lost my trunks! Hi, SpongeBob!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' All right, Pat, you made it! Come on, Mr. Krabs! Up here!<br>
 +
 +
'''Mr. Krabs:''' All ashore that's going ashore, Mr. Squidward! Land ho! (goes up)<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Looking good, Mr. Krabs!<br>
 +
 +
'''Patrick:''' Yeah! Yeah! Whoo-hoo!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Come on, Squidward, you're missing all the dry. Come on, Squidward!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs:''' (chanting) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!<br>
 +
 +
'''Squidward:''' Well, I'll do it. But I won't like it. (goes up. Chanting stops) What?<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, here we are.<br>
 +
 +
'''Squidward:''' This is pretty easy.<br>
 +
 +
'''Patrick:''' I may keep a second rock up here.<br>
 +
 +
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Once you get your land legs it's not so bad!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' We're the masters of land and sea!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' (approaching birds) Hey, it's a local. Hi, we're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks?<br>
 +
 +
'''Sandy:''' 3, 2, 1. Well, tan my fur. They made it! Better go congratulate them. (cut to the [[island]] SpongeBob! Patrick? Hmm, where'd those critters get to? (goes up, discovers the birds attacking them. She gasps.) Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! (attacks the birds. All of them float back underwater)
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy.<br>
 +
 +
'''Sandy:''' You know, everyone's best at something.<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' But no one's best at everything. Sorry I made you take off your helmet, Sandy.<br>
 +
 +
'''Sandy:''' Sorry I made you go up on dry land, SpongeBob.<br>
 +
 +
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves! Hip hip!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Hooray!<br>
 +
 +
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hip hip!<br>
 +
 +
'''SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs:''' Hooray!<br>
 +
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'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hip hip!<br>
 +
 +
(scene cut to live-action where the seagulls sitting on the island)<br>
 +
 +
'''Seagulls:''' Hooray.
 +
 +
{{Timeline}}
 +
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
 
{{Slogan}}
 

Latest revision as of 01:30, 28 November 2022

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Squirrel Jokes The Smoking Peanut

Episode Article: Pressure

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

Sandy: (looking at the clouds) You know, SpongeBob, sometimes it's nice to hang up my hang-glider and just watch the clouds roll by.

SpongeBob: Yup, and just relax.

Sandy: Yeah. Relax.

SpongeBob: Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! You know what that cloud looks like?

Sandy: What?

SpongeBob: A flower.

Sandy: They all look like flowers, SpongeBob. All the time.

SpongeBob: They sure do.

Sandy: You know, normally, I'd offer to race you to the top of coral cliffs. But I don't want to miss out on a second of this beautiful beauty.

SpongeBob: Me either. Who wants to get all dirty anyway?

Sandy: Yeah. And sweaty. Besides, I think we'd know who'd get to the top first.

SpongeBob: Yeah.

SpongeBob and Sandy: (laughing) Me.

SpongeBob: That's funny, Sandy. It sounded like you said you could beat me in a climbing contest.

Sandy: 'Course I can! I'm a squirrel. See? (points to her acorn badge)

SpongeBob: I thought that meant you were nuts.

Sandy: Nope, it means I'm a natural born climber. I'm from the surface world, and nothing prepares you for climbing like growing up on good ol' dry land.

SpongeBob: (laughs) Land-shmand, it's all about finger strength, baby, and if there's anything we've got plenty of down here, it's finger strength! (his fingers do poses) What do you say to that, "Miss Mittens"?

Sandy: I'd say I'm already halfway there!

SpongeBob: Ahh! (begins to climb the mountain) No fair, Sandy! You got a head start!

Sandy: Sorry, SpongeBob, that's the way the coral crumbles! (collapses the rock SpongeBob is climbing on)

SpongeBob: Hey! (gets back on another rock) You did that on purpose!

Sandy: Yeah, but this is an accident! (unleashes more rocks at him. SpongeBob screams as he falls.) Too bad you forgot your umbrella!

SpongeBob: (holds on to an umbrella and floats up). I didn't! (laughing)

Sandy: Well. It's about time you showed up.

SpongeBob: But you were-I saw you-I-I-I want a rematch! First one to the Krusty Krab is the winner!

Sandy: Ain't no way a sea critter can run faster than a land critter.

SpongeBob: I can underwater! I'm... HYDRODYNAMICALLY DESIGNED! Think you can win a fair race in that clunky tin tube?

Sandy: Why don't you ask my behind! That is, if you can catch it! What do you say to that, HydroPants?

SpongeBob: I say I'm already halfway there!-halfway there! (zoom out to reveal a record player)-halfway there!-halfway there!.

Sandy: (gasps) Hey! (SpongeBob laughs but hits a brick wall. Jumps on SpongeBob) Thanks for the face lift! (laughs as she runs to the Krusty Krab) You see, I told you you didn't have a ch-

SpongeBob: (dressed as an old man) There you are! Ain't just like a land creature to keep a sea creature waiting! (rips off suit, laughing)

Sandy: I though y'all wanted a rematch.

SpongeBob: I did! And I took a head start like you did!

Sandy: Well, I was just funning with you that time! But I guess all y'all underwater don't have to play fair!

SpongeBob: I guess I don't, air breather!

Sandy: Water sucker!

SpongeBob: Tree climber!

Sandy: Gulf streamer!

SpongeBob: Kite flier!

Sandy: Chum chewer!

SpongeBob: (gasps) Take that back! You... (nervously) not wet person!

Sandy: Aha! You can't even come up with another name! That proves it!

SpongeBob: Proves what?

Sandy: That land critters are better than sea critters!

Patrick: (walks to the two) Better at what?

Sandy: Oh, dern near everything, I guess. Cattle roping and pie eating and wood chopping and flying!

Squidward: (walks to the three) What's she blabbering about?

Patrick: She says land creatures are best.

Sandy: Only 'cause it's true! We're best at horse riding and fur styling and rowing. Y'all got us licked in swimming, but we've got corn chucking, (Mr. Krabs walks to the four) and hay bailing, and barn raising, and fishing! (SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs all gasp) And name calling, for sure!

Squidward: And drowning, don't forget drowning!

SpongeBob: (laughing) Good one, Squidward! (jumps to hi-five Squidward) Woo!

Squidward: Not on your life, sport. (SpongeBob falls)

SpongeBob: I'll admit, you've got some pretty good moves. For a squirrel. (SpongeBob and the rest except Sandy start laughing) But you're still just a land creature.

Sandy: Squirrels can do anything they want to!

Patrick: I bet you can't eat a Krabby Double Deluxe in one bite. (gulps a patty down) Ah.

Sandy: Give me that. They don't call me Cheeks for nothing. (tries to eat it, but her air helmet blocks it. Everyone else begins to laugh)

Patrick: Thank you, thank you.

Sandy: Well, that's just one thing.

Mr. Krabs: Can you do this? (his eyeballs go into his head) Everyone in my family can do that.

Sandy: Uh...uh...

Squidward: How about this? (balances six spinning plates on a stick with his tentacles) Huh?

SpongeBob: Can you reproduce by budding? (begins to do it) Can ya? Can ya? Can ya? Can ya?

Sandy: No!

SpongeBob: Most importantly...can you do this? (all except Sandy begin gasping three times without releasing any breath)

Sandy: Well, what would I wanna do any of that dumb stuff for anyway?

SpongeBob: Admit it, Sandy, you can't do anything us sea creatures can do. In fact, if wasn't for that suit, you couldn't even live down here!

Sandy: Well, you don't... (all continue laughing) I don't need to... (all laughing harder) Grr... I'll show y'all! I don't need this suit! (takes off suit, and all gasp) And I don't need this helmet neither! (throws helmet to ground)

Mr. Krabs: Neptune preserve her!

Squidward: How long can she stay like that?

SpongeBob: I don't know!

Patrick: Sandy's a girl?

SpongeBob: Wow, Sandy. You sure proved us wrong. I guess land creatures are better. At least until they need to breathe... (all but Sandy laugh. Sandy winks) Yup, won't be long now. Feelin' light-headed yet? (Sandy shakes her head) Remember this? (SpongeBob takes a deep breath in and out)

Mr. Krabs: It's free! (Krabs then takes a deep breath too)

Sandy: (starts suffocating underwater, then puts her head into a pickle jar. all others start laughing.) Stop laughing at me!

Mr. Krabs: I knew it! There was no way some "airhead" was gonna win anything against a water breather!

Patrick: Airhead... (laughs. The top of his head deflates like a balloon) Huh? (puts thumb in mouth and blows. His head becomes round at the top.)

SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Sea creatures rule! (chanting) Water! Water! Water!

Sandy: All right, all right! You had your little laugh. But now it's my turn! Y'all think you're such hot stuff, don't ya! Swimming around with your fancy gills and such. But none of you wetheads would last a minute on my turf. Dry land!

Squidward: Do we have to wear pickle jars? (all but Sandy begin to laugh)

Sandy: Nope, nothing but the clothes on your backs.

SpongeBob: One minute? No problem, Landy! (all but Sandy begin to laugh)

Sandy: (all but her are still laughing, as she leads them all to a hill. As they see land, they stop laughing) Well? So are you going or not? (the four of them stammer)

SpongeBob: Actually, you know, (stammers)

Squidward: We-we can't, uh... because...

Mr. Krabs: We're late for our...um...

Patrick: Our fitting!

Sandy: Oh, you mean for your chicken costumes!

Patrick: (holding and eating popcorn) Hey! We are not chicken! (drops popcorn. He gasps.) My popcorn! (begins pecking on it like a chicken)

SpongeBob: Yeah, we're not chicken, we'll do it. (looks at his reflection on the surface and puts his finger above the water) There. Mission accomplished.

Sandy: Look, unless you can stay above water for one measly minute, you forfeit the contest and prove that land creatures are better than sea creatures!

SpongeBob: No, way, San-day. We can take on your challenge!

Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!

SpongeBob: We're not afraid of your dumb old land!

Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!

SpongeBob: We're sea creatures!

SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Yeah!

SpongeBob: Okay! Well, this is it.

Mr. Krabs: Wait, boy! (gives him a glass) Make it last.

SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr. Krabs. (drinks from it) Okay! Here I go! (gasps out of water) Hey, this isn't so bad. We can do this! Hey, Patrick, come on up! The air is fine!

Patrick: I'm gonna do it quick and get it over with. Cannonball! (goes up to shore) Hey, I lost my trunks! Hi, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: All right, Pat, you made it! Come on, Mr. Krabs! Up here!

Mr. Krabs: All ashore that's going ashore, Mr. Squidward! Land ho! (goes up)

SpongeBob: Looking good, Mr. Krabs!

Patrick: Yeah! Yeah! Whoo-hoo!

SpongeBob: Come on, Squidward, you're missing all the dry. Come on, Squidward!

SpongeBob, Patrick and Mr. Krabs: (chanting) Squidward! Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!

Squidward: Well, I'll do it. But I won't like it. (goes up. Chanting stops) What?

SpongeBob: Well, here we are.

Squidward: This is pretty easy.

Patrick: I may keep a second rock up here.

Mr. Krabs: Once you get your land legs it's not so bad!

SpongeBob: We're the masters of land and sea!

SpongeBob: (approaching birds) Hey, it's a local. Hi, we're from underwater. Do you know Sandy Cheeks?

Sandy: 3, 2, 1. Well, tan my fur. They made it! Better go congratulate them. (cut to the island SpongeBob! Patrick? Hmm, where'd those critters get to? (goes up, discovers the birds attacking them. She gasps.) Holy guacamole! You can't eat my friends, you rats with wings! (attacks the birds. All of them float back underwater)

SpongeBob: Uh, thanks for saving us, Sandy.

Sandy: You know, everyone's best at something.

SpongeBob: But no one's best at everything. Sorry I made you take off your helmet, Sandy.

Sandy: Sorry I made you go up on dry land, SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs: Three cheers for feeling sorry for ourselves! Hip hip!

SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!

Mr. Krabs: Hip hip!

SpongeBob, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Hooray!

Mr. Krabs: Hip hip!

(scene cut to live-action where the seagulls sitting on the island)

Seagulls: Hooray.

Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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