Episode Transcript: Karate Island

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Episode Article: [[Karate Island (Episode)|Karate Island]]
 
Episode Article: [[Karate Island (Episode)|Karate Island]]
  
== Characters ==
+
==Characters==
  
 
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
 
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
Line 22: Line 22:
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
 +
(episode begins at SpongeBob's house)
  
SpongeBob: (squeezes some shell wax onto Gary's shell) Alright, Gary, ready for your yearly shell waxing?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (squeezes some shell wax onto Gary's shell) Alright, Gary, ready for your yearly shell waxing?
  
Gary: Meow. (SpongeBob grabs his nose and uses his back to wax Gary's shell)<br>
+
'''Gary''': Meow. (SpongeBob grabs his nose and uses his back to wax Gary's shell)
  
SpongeBob: Just look at that shine! Now let's check under the hood. (opens Gary's shell and jumps in) Geez, Gary, this place is a real snail-sty.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Just look at that shine! Now let's check under the hood. (opens Gary's shell and jumps in) Geez, Gary, this place is a real snail-sty.
  
Gary: Meow.<br>
+
'''Gary''': Meow.
  
SpongeBob: Still? From New Year's Eve? (Gary blows his horn because SpongeBob said, "New Year's Eve") (sees something on the ground) What?! I've been looking everywhere for this, Gary. (laughs) My favorite novelty t-shirt. (holds up a shirt that says I <3 krabby patties. Doorbell rings) Oh, someone's here. (jumps out of Gary's shell)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Still? From New Year's Eve? (Gary blows his horn because SpongeBob said, "New Year's Eve." Sees something on the ground) What?! I've been looking everywhere for this, Gary. (laughs) My favorite novelty T-shirt. (holds up a shirt that reads "I <3 Krabby Patties". Doorbell rings) Oh, someone's here. (jumps out of Gary's shell)
  
Mailman: Special delivery for SpongeBob SquarePants.<br>
+
'''Mailman''': Special delivery for SpongeBob SquarePants.
  
SpongeBob: Special delivery? Just for me? You think I'm...special? (hugs the mailman)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Special delivery? Just for me? You think I'm...special? (hugs the mailman)
  
Mailman: Alright, do we have to go through this every time I give you your mail? Sheesh. (leaves)<br>
+
'''Mailman''': Alright, do we have to go through this every time I give you your mail? Sheesh. (leaves)
  
SpongeBob: What could it be today, Gary?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': What could it be today, Gary?
  
Gary: Meow.<br>
+
'''Gary''': Meow.
  
SpongeBob: (opens package) A videotape? (reads it) "You're a winner -- SpongeBob SquarePants". I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!  
+
'''SpongeBob''': (opens package) A videotape? (reads it) "You're a winner -- SpongeBob SquarePants". I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!  
(inserts videotape into vcr. Videotape plays)<br>
+
(inserts videotape into VCR. Videotape plays)
  
Announcer: Karate Island: A serene and exotic location where nature and beauty abound, and hundreds of fighting styles collide in a wave of non-stop, pulsating, no-hold barred action! For centuries, the world's top karate artists have journeyed to this land to be crowned King of Karate.<br>
+
'''Announcer''': ''Karate Island: A serene and exotic location where nature and beauty abound, and hundreds of fighting styles collide in a wave of non-stop, pulsating, no-hold barred action! For centuries, the world's top karate artists have journeyed to this land to be crowned King of Karate.''
  
SpongeBob: King of Karate?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': King of Karate?
  
Announcer: Now it's your turn...  
+
'''Announcer''': ''Now it's your turn...''
  
Announcer 2: ...SpongeBob SquarePants.
+
'''Announcer 2''': ''...SpongeBob SquarePants.''
  
Announcer: You've won an all-expense paid trip to Karate Island! Hi-yah! Where you'll be crowned this year's King of Karate!
+
'''Announcer''': ''You've won an all-expense paid trip to Karate Island! Hi-yah! Where you'll be crowned this year's King of Karate!''
  
SpongeBob: Ooh... Did you hear that, Gary? I'm going to be crowned... (shouts karate yells) King of Karate! (jumps to the door, leaving his arm in the ground) Whoo-hoo! (shouts karate yells)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Ooh... Did you hear that, Gary? I'm going to be crowned... (shouts karate yells) King of Karate! (jumps to the door, leaving his arm in the ground) Whoo-hoo! (shouts karate yells)
  
Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Howdy, SpongeBob.
  
SpongeBob: Hello, Sandy. Have you heard the news? I was invited to Karate Island to be crowned the king of karate.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hello, Sandy. Have you heard the news? I was invited to Karate Island to be crowned the King of Karate.
  
Sandy: Karate Island? I've never heard of Karate Island.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Karate Island? I've never heard of Karate Island.
  
SpongeBob: Oh, sure, Sandy, all the big karate experts go there.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, sure, Sandy, all the big karate experts go there.
  
Sandy: But my karate is better than your karate by a country mile and I've never been invited.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': But my karate is better than your karate by a country mile and I've never been invited.
  
SpongeBob: Maybe your karate was the best, but now they've recognized a new number one.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Maybe your karate was the best, but now they've recognized a new number one.
  
Sandy: There's something rotten in the Alamo. I'd better tag along and see if it's on the up-and-up.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': There's something rotten in the Alamo. I'd better tag along and see if it's on the up-and-up.
  
SpongeBob: All right, Sandy, you can come with me to witness my crowning moment. (laughs. Scene cuts to both in a boat  
+
'''SpongeBob''': All right, Sandy, you can come with me to witness my crowning moment. (laughs. Bubble-wipe to both in a boat  
heading towards Karate Island) Are we there yet?<br>
+
heading towards Karate Island) Are we there yet?
  
Sandy: Yup. That's it over there.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Yup. That's it over there.
  
SpongeBob: What make you think that's Karate Island? (big sign that says "Welcome to Karate Island" is pointing at the  
+
'''SpongeBob''': What make you think that's Karate Island? (big sign that says "Welcome to Karate Island" is pointing at the  
island)<br>
+
island)
  
Sandy: I don't know -- lucky guess? (three fish are waiting on top of some rocks for SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Sandy arrive  
+
'''Sandy''': I don't know -- lucky guess? (three fish are waiting on top of some rocks for SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Sandy arrive  
on the island)<br>
+
on the island)
  
SpongeBob: Hello there, the King of Karate has arrived.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hello there, the King of Karate has arrived.
  
Fish: Welcome to my island, SpongeBob-san. (bows)<br>
+
'''Fish''': Welcome to my island, SpongeBob-san. (bows)
  
SpongeBob: Oh, thank you. (bows)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, thank you. (bows)
  
Master Udon: I am Master Udon.<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': I am Master Udon.
  
Sandy: Howdy, Master Udon, I'm Sandy Cheeks. I do a little karate, myself.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Howdy, Master Udon, I'm Sandy Cheeks. I do a little karate, myself.
  
SpongeBob: Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. Mr. Udon isn't interested in a karate novice like you. They only have time for royalty.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. Mr. Udon isn't interested in a karate novice like you. They only have time for royalty.
  
Sandy: Oh, brother.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Oh, brother.
  
Master Udon: Please, show me some of your moves, Master SpongeBob.<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': Please, show me some of your moves, Master SpongeBob.
  
SpongeBob: You hear that, Sandy? He called me "master". Bring on your best fighters! I'll try to go easy on 'em. (three  
+
'''SpongeBob''': You hear that, Sandy? He called me "master". Bring on your best fighters! I'll try to go easy on 'em. (three  
fighters appear)<br>
+
fighters appear)
  
Sandy: SpongeBob, your karate's not good enough to handle those sidewinders.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': SpongeBob, your karate's not good enough to handle those sidewinders.
  
SpongeBob: Pa-shaw! Watch and learn, sister. (shouts karate yells at the first fighter. He falls to the ground) Yup. That's  
+
'''SpongeBob''': Pa-shaw! Watch and learn, sister. (shouts karate yells at the first fighter. He falls to the ground) Yup. That's how the King of Karate does it. Who's next?
how the King of Karate does it. Who's next?<br>
+
  
Sandy: Something smells like rancid rodeo around here. (all the fighters are knocked out)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Something smells like rancid rodeo around here. (all the fighters are knocked out)
  
Master Udon: Excellent. Truly you are King of Karate.
+
'''Master Udon''': Excellent. Truly you are King of Karate.
  
SpongeBob: The one and only.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': The one and only.
  
Master Udon: We must make ready for your coronation.<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': We must make ready for your coronation.
  
SpongeBob: I'm ready to be King of Karate! (gong sounds)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': I'm ready to be King of Karate! (gong sounds)
  
Master Udon: King of Karate-san, it is time for you to take your rightful place on your throne.<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': King of Karate-san, it is time for you to take your rightful place on your throne.
  
SpongeBob: My throne. (floats over to the throne)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': My throne. (floats over to the throne)
  
Sandy: All right, Udon, I'm on to you. This is as crooked as a dizzy sidewinder.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': All right, Udon, I'm on to you. This is as crooked as a dizzy sidewinder.
  
SpongeBob: (sitting on his throne) Come, Sandy, take your place next to the king and share in my crowning achievement.  
+
'''SpongeBob''': (sitting on his throne) Come, Sandy, take your place next to the king and share in my crowning achievement. (claps twice) Bring a seat for my air-breathing friend. (chair is brought)
(claps twice) Bring a seat for my air-breathing friend. (chair is brought)<br>
+
  
Sandy: SpongeBob, ya'll are getting a bit wily.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': SpongeBob, ya'll are getting a bit wily.
  
SpongeBob: Oh, do I detect a note of jealousy, Sandy?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, do I detect a note of jealousy, Sandy?
  
Sandy: Heck, I could karate you in a country fiddle with one paw tied behind my back.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Heck, I could karate you in a country fiddle with one paw tied behind my back.
  
SpongeBob: (laughs) But who's being crowned King of Karate -- not you.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (laughs) But who's being crowned King of Karate -- not you.
  
Sandy: I'm getting off this crazy train! (mumbles in angrily)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': I'm getting off this crazy train! (mumbles in angrily)
  
Master Udon: Master, don't worry about her. She is missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. (laughs) Let the  
+
'''Master Udon''': Master, don't worry about her. She is missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. (laughs) Let the coronation begin!
coronation begin!<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Sandy's going to miss out, big time. (is chained down to the throne. Master Udon reaches into his robe and takes  
+
'''SpongeBob''': Sandy's going to miss out, big time. (is chained down to the throne. Master Udon reaches into his robe and takes out a pen)
out a pen)<br>
+
  
Sandy: That dang SpongeBob. Who does he think he is? I taught that yellow beaver maniac everything he knows about fighting -
+
'''Sandy''': That dang SpongeBob. Who does he think he is? I taught that yellow beaver maniac everything he knows about fighting -- and that ain't much.
- and that ain't much.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: No!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': '''''NO...!'''''
  
Sandy: SpongeBob’s in trouble! (SpongeBob screams) SpongeBob is the "King of Karate". He doesn't need me. Eh, he can handle  
+
'''Sandy''': SpongeBob's in trouble! (SpongeBob screams) SpongeBob is the "King of Karate". He doesn't need me. Eh, he can handle this himself.
this himself.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: (in the distance) Sandy, I need you! I can't handle this myself.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (in the distance) Sandy, I need you! I can't handle this myself.
  
Sandy: Hold on, buddy! (enters a building where Master Udon is watching from above)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Hold on, buddy! (enters a building where Master Udon is watching from above)
  
SpongeBob: No, Sandy!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': No, Sandy!
  
Master Udon: She will never reach you. She must first pass through the 'Four Floors of Fear'.<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': She will never reach you. She must first pass through the "Four Floors of Fear."
  
Sandy: (enters first room) SpongeBob?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': (enters first room) SpongeBob?
  
The Tickler: Ha. Ha-ha-ha. You cannot pass unless you defeat me, The Tickler, and my iron-finger style. (both get ready then  
+
'''The Tickler''': Ha. Ha-ha-ha. You cannot pass unless you defeat me, The Tickler, and my iron-finger style. (both get ready then attack) Ha-ha. Look!
attack) Ha-ha. Look!<br>
+
  
Sandy: Huh? (laughs as she is being tickled)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Huh? (laughs as she is being tickled)
  
The Tickler: Prepare for the tickling of your life!<br>
+
'''The Tickler''': Prepare for the tickling of your life!
  
Sandy: Taste these! (has a plate full of jelly-filled donuts)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Taste these! (has a plate full of jelly-filled donuts)
  
The Tickler: Oh no! Jelly-filled donuts? How did you know they were my weakness?<br>
+
'''The Tickler''': Oh no! Jelly-filled donuts? How did you know they were my weakness?
  
Sandy: No one can resist jelly-filled. (throws the donuts into The Tickler's mouth) Sticky around, I'll be back with the glazed.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': No one can resist jelly-filled. (throws the donuts into The Tickler's mouth) Sticky around, I'll be back with the glazed.
  
The Tickler: I could use a wet nap.<br>
+
'''The Tickler''': I could use a wet nap.
  
Sandy: (enters floor two) All right, who's next?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': (enters floor two) All right, who's next?
  
Lip Service: Halt! No one passes me, Lip Service, and my power-flexi dynamo-lip thruster style. (attacks Sandy)<br>
+
'''Lip Service''': Halt! No one passes me, Lip Service, and my power-flexi dynamo-lip thruster style. (attacks Sandy by trying to kiss her) Dance, squirrel, dance. (kisses Sandy's helmet. Sandy is sent backwards)
  
Lip Service: Dance, squirrel, dance. (her lips send Sandy backwards)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Advanced hair-dryer style!
  
Sandy: Advanced hair-dryer style!<br>
+
'''Lip Service''': (laughs) What do you expect to do with that? (Sandy uses the hair-dryer to blow air on L.P.'s lips, making
 +
them chapped) Oh, no! Not chapped lips! (takes out some Lip Balm. Applies some but it breaks her lips)
  
Lip Service: (laughs) What do you expect to do with that? (Sandy uses the hair-dryer to blow air on L.P.'s lips, making
+
'''Sandy''': That's enough lip out of you. (enters third floor but slips on her way in because it's covered in mud. She slides into a big green jabba-the-hut look-alike)
them chapped) Oh, no! Not chapped lips! (takes out some Lip Balm. Applies some but it breaks her lips)<br>
+
  
Sandy: That's enough lip out of you. (enters third floor but slips on her way in because it's covered in mud. She slides into a big green jabba-the-hut look-alike)<br>
+
'''Filthy Phil''': No one has ever made it to the lair of Filthy Phil. No one passes except me. Now feel the steam of my horrible body odor. (strains to get body odor out. The body odor tries to get into Sandy's helmet but can't)
  
Filthy Phil: No one has ever made it to the lair of Filthy Phil. No one passes except me. Now feel the steam of my horrible body odor. (strains to get body odor out. The body odor tries to get into Sandy's helmet but can't)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Ha-ha, Phil! Your foul stench can't permeate my fresh-air dome.
  
Sandy: Ha-ha, Phil! Your foul stench can't permeate my fresh-air dome.<br>
+
'''Filthy Phil''': Fresh-air dome? (inhales his own body odor) Man, I really do stink. (passes out. Sandy breaks through some boards to enter floor four where Master Udon is)
  
Filthy Phil: Fresh-air dome? (inhales his own body odor) Man, I really do stink. (passes out. Sandy breaks through some boards to enter floor four where Master Udon is)<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': You are one impressive squirrel. You even made a costume change.
  
Master Udon: You are one impressive squirrel. You even made a costume change.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Release SpongeBob.
  
Sandy: Release SpongeBob.<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': Never. (as Sandy is going to attack, she is trapped in a bird cage. She strains to break through but can't) He is forbidden to leave until...he signs this contract.
  
Master Udon: Never. (as Sandy is going to attack, she is trapped in a bird cage. She strains to break through but can't) He
+
'''Sandy''': What are you talking about?!
is forbidden to leave until...he signs this contract.<br>
+
  
Sandy: What are you talking about?!<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': Real estate.
  
Master Udon: Real estate.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': You mean this whole thing was a scam to get us to buy real estate?
  
Sandy: You mean this whole thing was a scam to get us to buy real estate?<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': (nods) Yes. If there was a real Karate Island, I'd be a millionaire.
  
Master Udon: (nods) Yes. If there was a real Karate Island, I'd be a millionaire.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': You mean I'm not King of Karate?
  
SpongeBob: You mean I'm not King of Karate?<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': No. But you could be King of Condos. Here, let me explain. It's really quite simple. (pulls down chart) See,
 +
if you invest in a time share here on Condo Island, you can see your equity increase ten-fold. Perhaps you and your yellow friend would like to set up a timeshare plan?
  
Master Udon: No. But you could be King of Condos. Here, let me explain. It's really quite simple. (pulls down chart) See,
+
'''SpongeBob''': Don't do it, Sandy! (Sandy chants something)
if you invest in a time share here on Condo Island, you can see your equity increase ten-fold. Perhaps you and your yellow friend would like to set up a timeshare plan?<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Don't do it, Sandy! (Sandy chants something)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': (aims her arms and magically breaks the bird cage shocking Udon) I won't give in to your timeshare vacation scam!
  
Sandy: (aims her arms and magically breaks the bird cage shocking Udon) I won't give in to your timeshare vacation scam!<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': Then give in to my fists. (rips clothes off and begins to flex to begin muscle growth) HRGHHHH HNNGHH!  
  
Master Udon: Then give in to my fists. (rips clothes off to show a more buff Master Udon. Sandy does same simply by exposing her bikini to reveal a buff
+
'''Sandy''': (rips off clothes and flexes her body to grow muscles and grunts heavily) Rrrr Aughhhh MMMMGH!
Sandy. Both flex their body then fight. Sandy jumps on top of Master Udon's head then slaps him with her feet. Master Udon
+
(both flex their bodies and rise and roar with their muscular bodies) RAHHHH!
then grabs Sandy and throws her into the wall. They karate chop some more before Sandy grabs him and throws him on the ground over and over. She then throws him in the air and kicks him in the face, sending him outside into the ocean)<br>
+
  
Sandy: You're in the soup now, Udon! (scene cuts to SpongeBob and Sandy walking toward their boat)<br>
+
'''Master Udon''': (roars like a lion) ROAAAR! (Sandy jumps on top of Master Udon's head then slaps him with her feet. Master Udon then grabs Sandy and throws her into the wall. They karate chop some more before Sandy grabs him and throws him on the ground over and over. She then throws him in the air and kicks him in the face, sending him outside into the ocean)
  
SpongeBob: Sandy, I'm sorry I acted like a jerk back there. Thanks for saving me from... (swallows hard) buying a
+
'''Sandy''': You're in the soup now, Udon! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob and Sandy walking toward their boat)
condo.<br>
+
  
Sandy: Aw, shucks, SpongeBob, that's what friends are for.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Sandy, I'm sorry I acted like a jerk back there. Thanks for saving me from... (swallows hard) ...buying a condo.
  
SpongeBob: I still have one question, though. Does this mean I'm not King of Karate?<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Aw, shucks, SpongeBob, that's what friends are for.
  
Sandy: You are in my book, SpongeBob. You are in my book. Now let me tell you about real estate. It's all about location... (boat drives off as another boat, carrying Squidward, arrives)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': I still have one question, though. Does this mean I'm not King of Karate?
  
Squidward: I'm here! The King of Clarinets has arrived. (Master Udon is waiting on top of the rocks again)<br>
+
'''Sandy''': You are in my book, SpongeBob. You are in my book. Now let me tell you about real estate. It's all about location... (boat drives off as another boat, carrying Squidward, arrives)
  
 
+
'''Squidward''': I'm here! The King of Clarinets has arrived. (Master Udon is waiting on top of the rocks again. After the end of the episode, a picture of Pat Morita is shown with "In Memory of Pat Morita-- 1932-2005" [without "in memory of" in some countries] below)
*After the end of the episode a Picture of Pat Morita is shown. (In Memory of Pat Morita-- 1932-2005) [In some countries] without "in memory of" in some countries.
+
  
 
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}
 
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}
 
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]

Latest revision as of 23:17, 8 November 2022

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Whale of a Birthday All That Glitters

Episode Article: Karate Island

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(episode begins at SpongeBob's house)

SpongeBob: (squeezes some shell wax onto Gary's shell) Alright, Gary, ready for your yearly shell waxing?

Gary: Meow. (SpongeBob grabs his nose and uses his back to wax Gary's shell)

SpongeBob: Just look at that shine! Now let's check under the hood. (opens Gary's shell and jumps in) Geez, Gary, this place is a real snail-sty.

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: Still? From New Year's Eve? (Gary blows his horn because SpongeBob said, "New Year's Eve." Sees something on the ground) What?! I've been looking everywhere for this, Gary. (laughs) My favorite novelty T-shirt. (holds up a shirt that reads "I <3 Krabby Patties". Doorbell rings) Oh, someone's here. (jumps out of Gary's shell)

Mailman: Special delivery for SpongeBob SquarePants.

SpongeBob: Special delivery? Just for me? You think I'm...special? (hugs the mailman)

Mailman: Alright, do we have to go through this every time I give you your mail? Sheesh. (leaves)

SpongeBob: What could it be today, Gary?

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: (opens package) A videotape? (reads it) "You're a winner -- SpongeBob SquarePants". I'm SpongeBob SquarePants! (inserts videotape into VCR. Videotape plays)

Announcer: Karate Island: A serene and exotic location where nature and beauty abound, and hundreds of fighting styles collide in a wave of non-stop, pulsating, no-hold barred action! For centuries, the world's top karate artists have journeyed to this land to be crowned King of Karate.

SpongeBob: King of Karate?

Announcer: Now it's your turn...

Announcer 2: ...SpongeBob SquarePants.

Announcer: You've won an all-expense paid trip to Karate Island! Hi-yah! Where you'll be crowned this year's King of Karate!

SpongeBob: Ooh... Did you hear that, Gary? I'm going to be crowned... (shouts karate yells) King of Karate! (jumps to the door, leaving his arm in the ground) Whoo-hoo! (shouts karate yells)

Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Hello, Sandy. Have you heard the news? I was invited to Karate Island to be crowned the King of Karate.

Sandy: Karate Island? I've never heard of Karate Island.

SpongeBob: Oh, sure, Sandy, all the big karate experts go there.

Sandy: But my karate is better than your karate by a country mile and I've never been invited.

SpongeBob: Maybe your karate was the best, but now they've recognized a new number one.

Sandy: There's something rotten in the Alamo. I'd better tag along and see if it's on the up-and-up.

SpongeBob: All right, Sandy, you can come with me to witness my crowning moment. (laughs. Bubble-wipe to both in a boat heading towards Karate Island) Are we there yet?

Sandy: Yup. That's it over there.

SpongeBob: What make you think that's Karate Island? (big sign that says "Welcome to Karate Island" is pointing at the island)

Sandy: I don't know -- lucky guess? (three fish are waiting on top of some rocks for SpongeBob. SpongeBob and Sandy arrive on the island)

SpongeBob: Hello there, the King of Karate has arrived.

Fish: Welcome to my island, SpongeBob-san. (bows)

SpongeBob: Oh, thank you. (bows)

Master Udon: I am Master Udon.

Sandy: Howdy, Master Udon, I'm Sandy Cheeks. I do a little karate, myself.

SpongeBob: Sandy, Sandy, Sandy. Mr. Udon isn't interested in a karate novice like you. They only have time for royalty.

Sandy: Oh, brother.

Master Udon: Please, show me some of your moves, Master SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: You hear that, Sandy? He called me "master". Bring on your best fighters! I'll try to go easy on 'em. (three fighters appear)

Sandy: SpongeBob, your karate's not good enough to handle those sidewinders.

SpongeBob: Pa-shaw! Watch and learn, sister. (shouts karate yells at the first fighter. He falls to the ground) Yup. That's how the King of Karate does it. Who's next?

Sandy: Something smells like rancid rodeo around here. (all the fighters are knocked out)

Master Udon: Excellent. Truly you are King of Karate.

SpongeBob: The one and only.

Master Udon: We must make ready for your coronation.

SpongeBob: I'm ready to be King of Karate! (gong sounds)

Master Udon: King of Karate-san, it is time for you to take your rightful place on your throne.

SpongeBob: My throne. (floats over to the throne)

Sandy: All right, Udon, I'm on to you. This is as crooked as a dizzy sidewinder.

SpongeBob: (sitting on his throne) Come, Sandy, take your place next to the king and share in my crowning achievement. (claps twice) Bring a seat for my air-breathing friend. (chair is brought)

Sandy: SpongeBob, ya'll are getting a bit wily.

SpongeBob: Oh, do I detect a note of jealousy, Sandy?

Sandy: Heck, I could karate you in a country fiddle with one paw tied behind my back.

SpongeBob: (laughs) But who's being crowned King of Karate -- not you.

Sandy: I'm getting off this crazy train! (mumbles in angrily)

Master Udon: Master, don't worry about her. She is missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime. (laughs) Let the coronation begin!

SpongeBob: Sandy's going to miss out, big time. (is chained down to the throne. Master Udon reaches into his robe and takes out a pen)

Sandy: That dang SpongeBob. Who does he think he is? I taught that yellow beaver maniac everything he knows about fighting -- and that ain't much.

SpongeBob: NO...!

Sandy: SpongeBob's in trouble! (SpongeBob screams) SpongeBob is the "King of Karate". He doesn't need me. Eh, he can handle this himself.

SpongeBob: (in the distance) Sandy, I need you! I can't handle this myself.

Sandy: Hold on, buddy! (enters a building where Master Udon is watching from above)

SpongeBob: No, Sandy!

Master Udon: She will never reach you. She must first pass through the "Four Floors of Fear."

Sandy: (enters first room) SpongeBob?

The Tickler: Ha. Ha-ha-ha. You cannot pass unless you defeat me, The Tickler, and my iron-finger style. (both get ready then attack) Ha-ha. Look!

Sandy: Huh? (laughs as she is being tickled)

The Tickler: Prepare for the tickling of your life!

Sandy: Taste these! (has a plate full of jelly-filled donuts)

The Tickler: Oh no! Jelly-filled donuts? How did you know they were my weakness?

Sandy: No one can resist jelly-filled. (throws the donuts into The Tickler's mouth) Sticky around, I'll be back with the glazed.

The Tickler: I could use a wet nap.

Sandy: (enters floor two) All right, who's next?

Lip Service: Halt! No one passes me, Lip Service, and my power-flexi dynamo-lip thruster style. (attacks Sandy by trying to kiss her) Dance, squirrel, dance. (kisses Sandy's helmet. Sandy is sent backwards)

Sandy: Advanced hair-dryer style!

Lip Service: (laughs) What do you expect to do with that? (Sandy uses the hair-dryer to blow air on L.P.'s lips, making them chapped) Oh, no! Not chapped lips! (takes out some Lip Balm. Applies some but it breaks her lips)

Sandy: That's enough lip out of you. (enters third floor but slips on her way in because it's covered in mud. She slides into a big green jabba-the-hut look-alike)

Filthy Phil: No one has ever made it to the lair of Filthy Phil. No one passes except me. Now feel the steam of my horrible body odor. (strains to get body odor out. The body odor tries to get into Sandy's helmet but can't)

Sandy: Ha-ha, Phil! Your foul stench can't permeate my fresh-air dome.

Filthy Phil: Fresh-air dome? (inhales his own body odor) Man, I really do stink. (passes out. Sandy breaks through some boards to enter floor four where Master Udon is)

Master Udon: You are one impressive squirrel. You even made a costume change.

Sandy: Release SpongeBob.

Master Udon: Never. (as Sandy is going to attack, she is trapped in a bird cage. She strains to break through but can't) He is forbidden to leave until...he signs this contract.

Sandy: What are you talking about?!

Master Udon: Real estate.

Sandy: You mean this whole thing was a scam to get us to buy real estate?

Master Udon: (nods) Yes. If there was a real Karate Island, I'd be a millionaire.

SpongeBob: You mean I'm not King of Karate?

Master Udon: No. But you could be King of Condos. Here, let me explain. It's really quite simple. (pulls down chart) See, if you invest in a time share here on Condo Island, you can see your equity increase ten-fold. Perhaps you and your yellow friend would like to set up a timeshare plan?

SpongeBob: Don't do it, Sandy! (Sandy chants something)

Sandy: (aims her arms and magically breaks the bird cage shocking Udon) I won't give in to your timeshare vacation scam!

Master Udon: Then give in to my fists. (rips clothes off and begins to flex to begin muscle growth) HRGHHHH HNNGHH!

Sandy: (rips off clothes and flexes her body to grow muscles and grunts heavily) Rrrr Aughhhh MMMMGH! (both flex their bodies and rise and roar with their muscular bodies) RAHHHH!

Master Udon: (roars like a lion) ROAAAR! (Sandy jumps on top of Master Udon's head then slaps him with her feet. Master Udon then grabs Sandy and throws her into the wall. They karate chop some more before Sandy grabs him and throws him on the ground over and over. She then throws him in the air and kicks him in the face, sending him outside into the ocean)

Sandy: You're in the soup now, Udon! (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob and Sandy walking toward their boat)

SpongeBob: Sandy, I'm sorry I acted like a jerk back there. Thanks for saving me from... (swallows hard) ...buying a condo.

Sandy: Aw, shucks, SpongeBob, that's what friends are for.

SpongeBob: I still have one question, though. Does this mean I'm not King of Karate?

Sandy: You are in my book, SpongeBob. You are in my book. Now let me tell you about real estate. It's all about location... (boat drives off as another boat, carrying Squidward, arrives)

Squidward: I'm here! The King of Clarinets has arrived. (Master Udon is waiting on top of the rocks again. After the end of the episode, a picture of Pat Morita is shown with "In Memory of Pat Morita-- 1932-2005" [without "in memory of" in some countries] below)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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