Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V

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*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
 
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
 
*[[Mermaid Man]]
 
*[[Mermaid Man]]
*[[Barnacle Boy]]
+
*[[Barnacle Boy]]/[[Barnacle Man]]
 
*[[Dirty Bubble]]
 
*[[Dirty Bubble]]
*[[ManRay]]
+
*[[Man Ray]]
 +
*[[Pearl Krabs]] (cameo)
 +
*[[The Chief]] (4 cameos)
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
  
'''Narrator''': The New Adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy. In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration.<br>
+
'''Narrator''': The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration.<br>
  
'''All''': Will you hurry up?<br>
+
'''Frank''': Will you hurry up?<br>
  
 
'''Narrator''': A call that would normally be answered by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions. (If) they weren't the ones causing the problem.<br>
 
'''Narrator''': A call that would normally be answered by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions. (If) they weren't the ones causing the problem.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Let's see...I wanna, no. I wanna, uh, no, uh, hmmm...<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Let's see...I wanna, no. I wanna, uh, no, uh, hmmm...<br>
  
'''Squidward''': Sir, will you please order already? You're holding up the line!<br>
+
'''Squidward''': Sir, will you please order already? You're holding up the line.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': (whispering in Mermaidman's ear) Psst. Hey, Mermaidman, get a Krabby Patty.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (whispering in Mermaid Man's ear) Psst. Hey, Mermaid Man, get a Krabby Patty.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': I've made my decision!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': I've made my decision.<br>
  
 
'''Line of Customers''': Hooray!<br>
 
'''Line of Customers''': Hooray!<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': 1 Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': 1 Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.<br>
  
'''Barnacleboy''': Now, wait just a darn minute.<br>
+
'''Barnacle Boy''': Now, wait just a darn minute.<br>
  
'''Line of Customers''': Awww!<br>
+
'''Line of Customers''': Awww...<br>
  
'''Barnacleboy''': I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty. I want an adult size Krabby Patty.<br>
+
'''Barnacle Boy''': I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty. I want an adult size Krabby Patty.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it.<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it.<br>
  
'''Barnacleboy''': Don't you see what you're doing. You're treating me like a child.<br>
+
'''Barnacle Boy''': Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child.<br>
  
'''Mr. Krabs''': The boys eyes are bigger than his stomach. (laughs)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': The boys eyes are bigger than his stomach. (Everybody laughs)<br>
  
'''Barnacleboy''': And that's another thing. I'm not a boy. I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles in my liver spots. (shows a hair popping out)<br>
+
'''Barnacle Boy''': And that's another thing. I'm not a boy. I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles in my liver spots. (shows a hair popping out)<br>
  
'''Squidward''': One Pipsqueak Patty (Shows a small Patty with a smile with pickles and Ketchup) and your bib and high chair.<br>
+
'''Squidward''': One Pipsqueak Patty (Shows a small Patty with a smile with pickles and Ketchup) and your bib and high chair. (Everybody laughs again)<br>
  
'''Barnacleboy''': I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!<br>
+
'''Barnacle Boy''': I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you?<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you?<br>
  
'''Barnacleboy''': Feed this, old man! (slaps the Krabby Patty out of Mermaidman's hand) I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through protecting citizens that don't respect me!<br>
+
'''Barnacle Boy''': (Glaring) Feed this, old man! (slaps the Krabby Patty out of Mermaid Man's hand as everybody gasps) I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through protecting citizens that don't respect me. <br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': I respect you, Barnacle Man!<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': I respect you, Barnacle Man!<br>
  
'''Barnacle Man''': That's Barnacleboy, I mean, man! Ohh... I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is... evil!<br>
+
'''Barnacle Man''': That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, man! Oh, forget it, people. I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil.<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': Evil??<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': Evil??<br>
  
'''Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy''': Evil?? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy''': Evil?? (Mermaid Man is daydreaming blankly. Mr. Krabs slaps MM)<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': EVIL!!!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': EVIL!!!<br>
  
 
'''Barnacle Man''': I'm crossing over to the dark side! (points to dark side of Krusty Krab)<br>
 
'''Barnacle Man''': I'm crossing over to the dark side! (points to dark side of Krusty Krab)<br>
Line 80: Line 82:
 
'''Dirty Bubble''': Did someone say evil?<br>
 
'''Dirty Bubble''': Did someone say evil?<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Holy oil spill! It's Mermaidman and Barnacleboy's arch enemies: Man-Ray and The Dirty Bubble! (BB gets in villain car)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: Man-Ray and The Dirty Bubble! (Barnacle Man gets in villain car)<br>
  
'''Barnacle Man''': Nighty night, you old goat!<br>
+
'''Barnacle Man''': Nighty night, you old goat! (The villain car drives off)<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Nighty-night! (to Squidward) Will you tuck me in?<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Nighty-night. (to Squidward) Will you tuck me in? (Squidward glares)<br>
  
'''Realistic Fish Head''': We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this news report. Man-Ray, The Dirty Bubble, and now, playing for the dark side, Barnacleboy...<br>
+
'''Johnny''': We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this special news break. Man-Ray (Manray on TV shoots down a building with his powers originally both a plane and the building), The Dirty Bubble (He absorbs a bank into himself), and now, playing for the dark side, Barnacle Boy...<br>
  
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Barnacle Man!<br>
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Barnacle Man!<br>
  
'''Realistic Fish Head''': ...have been committing a series of crimes in Bikini Bottom. (shows Man-Ray, The Dirty Bubble, and Barnacle Man ding-dong-ditching)<br>
+
'''Johnny''': ...have been committing a series of crimes in Bikini Bottom. (shows Man-Ray, The Dirty Bubble, and Barnacle Man ding-dong-ditching)<br>
  
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Shh!<br>
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Shh!<br>
  
'''Citizen''': (opens door) I'll get you crazy kids!<br>
+
'''Citizen''': (opens door) I'll get you crazy kids.<br>
  
'''Realistic Fish Head''': These three have named their new alliance: Every Villain Is Lemons, also known as E.V.I.L.! What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking ''you'' all these questions? Mermaidman, where are you? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM again)<br>
+
'''Realistic Fish Head''': These three have named their new alliance: Every Villain Is Lemons, otherwise known as E.V.I.L.! What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking ''you'' all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you? (Mermaid Man is daydreaming blankly again. Mr. Krabs slaps MM again)<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Huh? I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! Nothing! (ice cream truck sounds) Ice cream? I love ice cream! Two scoops of prune with bran sprinkles. Mmm. (MM takes a bite but explodes then E.V.I.L. is shown as ice cream men)<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Huh? I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! Nothing! (ice cream truck sounds) Ice cream? I love ice cream! A double scoop of prune with bran sprinkles. Mmm. (MM takes a bite but explodes then E.V.I.L. is shown as ice cream men) Goes right through me every time.
  
'''Barnacle Man''': You might as well give up, Mermaidman, because there are three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance.<br>
+
'''Barnacle Man''': You might as well give up, Mermaid Man, because there are three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance. (Drives off)<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Are you okay, Mermaidman? Oh, how are you going to beat those three guys all by yourself?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Are you okay, Mermaid Man? Oh, how are you going to beat all three of those guys all by yourself?<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': You're right. (sits down) I give up.<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': You're right. (sits down) I give up.<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': You can't give up. What if we help you?<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': You can't give up. What if we help you?<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': No, no, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': No, no, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Okay!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Okay.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Who wants to save the world?<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Who wants to save the world?<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': I do!<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': I do!<br>
Line 122: Line 124:
 
'''Squidward''': I don't.<br>
 
'''Squidward''': I don't.<br>
  
'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, yes, you do. No world means no money! Now go save the world, or you're fired!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, yes, you do. No world means no money. Now go save the world, or you're fired!<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Then it's settled! To the Mermalair!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Then it's settled. To the Mermalair!<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': Wow! The Mermalair!<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': Wow! The Mermalair!<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever! And you had the best lunch box, too.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever! (Holds up a lunchbox of MM and the superheroes as Barnacle Boy is taped off as an enemy) And you had the best lunch box, too.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours.<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours.<br>
  
'''Sandy''': Wow! I didn't think super powers worked that way.<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Wow. I didn't think super powers worked that way.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Sure! Power's all in the costume! Why else would we run around in colored undies?<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Sure, power's all in the costume. Why else would we run around in colored undies?<br>
  
 
'''Squidward''': I can think of three good reasons.<br>
 
'''Squidward''': I can think of three good reasons.<br>
Line 158: Line 160:
 
'''Narrator''': The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom. (Indonesian Version: A masterpiece of the nation.])<br>
 
'''Narrator''': The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom. (Indonesian Version: A masterpiece of the nation.])<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': So, it's settled then. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives.<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': So, it's agreed. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives.<br>
  
 
'''Chief''': Super Acquaintances, we need your help.<br>
 
'''Chief''': Super Acquaintances, we need your help.<br>
Line 164: Line 166:
 
'''SpongeBob''': Holy halibut! It's the chief!<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': Holy halibut! It's the chief!<br>
  
'''Chief''': Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am! More importantly, we've found information on the whereabouts of E.V.I.L.<br>
+
'''Chief''': Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am. More importantly, we've found information on the whereabouts of E.V.I.L.<br>
  
 
'''Patrick''': The whoseabouts of what?<br>
 
'''Patrick''': The whoseabouts of what?<br>
Line 172: Line 174:
 
'''Chief''': Our sources last found E.V.I.L. harassing teenagers up at "Make Out Reef". You know, Make-Out Reef? (makes out with himself) Whoo hoo hoo!<br>
 
'''Chief''': Our sources last found E.V.I.L. harassing teenagers up at "Make Out Reef". You know, Make-Out Reef? (makes out with himself) Whoo hoo hoo!<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Flopping flounder, Mermaidman, Make-Out Reef!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Flopping flounder, Mermaid Man, Make-Out Reef!<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Those fiends! Attacking hormonally stressed-out children!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Those fiends! Attacking hormonally stressed-out children!<br>
  
 
'''Squidward''': Ah, Make-Out Reef. Good times, good times.<br>
 
'''Squidward''': Ah, Make-Out Reef. Good times, good times.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': To Make-Out Reef, away!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': To Make-Out Reef, away!<br>
  
 
'''Patrick''': Does this mean we're not getting pizza?<br>
 
'''Patrick''': Does this mean we're not getting pizza?<br>
 +
 +
(Cut to a reef on the summit of a mountain)
  
 
'''John & Nancy''': Stop, please!<br>
 
'''John & Nancy''': Stop, please!<br>
Line 192: Line 196:
 
'''Fish'''': Hey, man, that's not cool.<br>
 
'''Fish'''': Hey, man, that's not cool.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': You leave those young lovers alone!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Leave those young lovers alone!<br>
  
'''Man-Ray''': Well if it isn't Milk Maid Man! You've saved us the trouble of tracking you down!<br>
+
'''Man-Ray''': Well if it isn't Milkmaid Man! Well you've saved us the trouble of tracking you down.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': You fiends can't win! You're outnumbered!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': You fiends can't win! You're outnumbered!<br>
  
'''Man-Ray''': You senile bag of fish paste! There are three of us and only one of you!<br>
+
'''Man-Ray''': You senile bag of fish paste! There are three of us and only one of you! (SpongeBob runs to Mermaid Man's side)<br>
  
 
'''SpongeBob''': Make that two!<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': Make that two!<br>
Line 204: Line 208:
 
'''Man-Ray''': The Quickster!<br>
 
'''Man-Ray''': The Quickster!<br>
  
'''Squidward''': Three!<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (He volcanoes like a rocket next to Mermaid Man) Three!<br>
  
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Captain Magma!<br>
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Captain Magma!<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Four!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (Patrick stretches himself in loops and circles next to Mermaid Man) Four!<br>
  
 
'''Dirty Bubble''': The Elastic Waistband!<br>
 
'''Dirty Bubble''': The Elastic Waistband!<br>
  
'''Sandy''': Five!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': (Appears out of nowhere) Five.<br>
  
 
'''E.V.I.L.''': M-M-Miss Appear!<br>
 
'''E.V.I.L.''': M-M-Miss Appear!<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': And me makes ten, I think.<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': And me makes ten...uhh, I think.<br>
 +
 
 +
'''Man-Ray''': Uh-oh.
  
'''Man-Ray''': Uh-oh, I don't have a good feeling about this.<br>
+
'''Dirty Bubble''': I don't have a good feeling about this.<br>
  
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Oh, there goes our toy deal.<br>
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Oh, there goes our toy deal.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Super Acquaintances, attack!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Super Acquaintances, attack!<br>
  
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Oh no, please, mercy!<br>
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Oh no, please, mercy!<br>
Line 230: Line 236:
 
'''SpongeBob''': Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it off!<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it off!<br>
  
'''Patrick''': I'll save you, Quickster, ahh! (stretches his arms to try and save The Quickster but ends up getting stuck)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I'll save you, Quickster, ahh! (stretches his arms to try and save The Quickster but ends up getting pulled in circles with the Quickster. Patrick rockets out of the grip of the Quickster and lands on the ground as his stretched arms unravel back at him to tie him stuck to the ground)<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls! (concentrates but throws water ball at Captain Magma)<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls! (He creates a water ball and sees the Quickster in concentration, but targets Captain Magma instead) Aha!<br>
  
'''Squidward''': No, no, I'm not the quickster. I'm Captain Mag... (gets hit and burns up) ma. (disintegrates)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': (Mermaid Man is facing Captain Magma) Huh? No, no, I'm not the quickster. I'm Captain Mag... (gets hit and burns up) ma. (disintegrates into dust)<br>
  
'''Sandy''': Well, I guess it's up to me! I'll sneak over... unseen... and catch them by surprise. (a car hits Sandy sending her off the cliff) Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br>
+
'''Sandy''': Well, I guess it's up to me! (Vanishes) I'll sneak over... unseen... and catch them by surprise. (a car hits Sandy sending her smashing through the sign of the site and off the cliff, screaming) br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': Get it off! Get it off! (eventually stops but only shown as shoes) Whew... I'm glad that's over!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Get it off! Get it off! (eventually stops but only shown as blue shoes) Whew. I'm glad that's over.<br> (E.V.I.L looks around to see the defeated super heroes and Mermaid Man falls on his back to surrender.)
  
'''Barnacle Man''': We did it, we won! This day belongs to E.V.I.L.! You've lost, Mermaidman, and the superhero/super-villain rules say you have to give in to my demands.<br>
+
'''Barnacle Man''': We did it. We won! This day belongs to E.V.I.L.! (Barnacle Man approaches the fallen Mermaid Man and laughs maniacally) You've lost, Mermaid Man, and the superhero/super-villain rules say you have to give in to my demands.<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Okay, what do you want?<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Okay, what do you want?<br>
  
 
'''Man-Ray''': World domination! Tell him we want world domination!<br>
 
'''Man-Ray''': World domination! Tell him we want world domination!<br>
  
'''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, and make him eat dirt! Ha! In addition to the domination thing.<br>
+
'''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, and make him eat dirt! Ha! (ManRay glares at him) In addition to the domination thing.<br>
  
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Number one, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Number two, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three...<br>
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Number one, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Number two, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three...<br>
Line 252: Line 258:
 
'''Man-Ray''': Come on, domination!<br>
 
'''Man-Ray''': Come on, domination!<br>
  
'''Barnacle Man''': I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty.<br>
+
'''Barnacle Man''': ....I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty.<br>
  
'''Dirty Bubble''': Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt?<br>
+
'''Dirty Bubble''': Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt? <br>
  
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Need a hand, superpal? (both start to get tears in their eyes)<br>
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Need a hand, superpal? (both start to get tears in their eyes)<br>
  
'''Mermaidman''': Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle. Let's go get you that Krabby Patty!<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle. Let's go get you that Krabby Patty!<br>
  
'''Man-Ray''': Was that it?! Oh, that's sickening.<br>
+
'''Man-Ray''': Was that it? Oh, that's sickening.<br>
  
'''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Cancun with the killer shrimp. (laughs) Oh, they had these papaya drinks that were to die for!<br>
+
'''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Cancun with the killer shrimp. (laughs) Oh, they had these papaya drinks that were to die for and...<br>
  
'''Man-Ray''': Oh, Neptune, shut up.<br>
+
'''Man-Ray''': (Obviously angered) Oh, Neptune, shut up.<br>
  
 
  (Back at The Krusty Krab)
 
  (Back at The Krusty Krab)
  
'''Mermaidman''': How is that adult-sized Krabby Patty treating you, Barnacle Man?<br>
+
'''Mermaid Man''': How is that adult-sized Krabby Patty treating you, Barnacle Man?<br>
  
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Actually, it's pretty big. I'm not sure if I can finish the whole thing. (everyone laughs, starting with the heroes, SpongeBob, and his friends, who were all wrapped up or casted. Then we see a fish and his pillow he kissed laughing, and then it was the Dirty Bubble and Man-Ray, who in jail, and finally, the chief, who is still making out.)
 
'''Barnacle Man''': Actually, it's pretty big. I'm not sure if I can finish the whole thing. (everyone laughs, starting with the heroes, SpongeBob, and his friends, who were all wrapped up or casted. Then we see a fish and his pillow he kissed laughing, and then it was the Dirty Bubble and Man-Ray, who in jail, and finally, the chief, who is still making out.)
Line 278: Line 284:
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 3]]
[[Category:Mermaidman & Barnacleboy]]
+
[[Category:Mermaid Man & Barnacle Boy]]

Latest revision as of 03:32, 26 November 2022

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Chocolate With Nuts New Student Starfish

Episode Article: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

Narrator: The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration.

Frank: Will you hurry up?

Narrator: A call that would normally be answered by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions. (If) they weren't the ones causing the problem.

Mermaid Man: Let's see...I wanna, no. I wanna, uh, no, uh, hmmm...

Squidward: Sir, will you please order already? You're holding up the line.

SpongeBob: (whispering in Mermaid Man's ear) Psst. Hey, Mermaid Man, get a Krabby Patty.

Mermaid Man: I've made my decision.

Line of Customers: Hooray!

Mermaid Man: 1 Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.

Barnacle Boy: Now, wait just a darn minute.

Line of Customers: Awww...

Barnacle Boy: I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty. I want an adult size Krabby Patty.

Mermaid Man: The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it.

Barnacle Boy: Don't you see what you're doing? You're treating me like a child.

Mr. Krabs: The boys eyes are bigger than his stomach. (Everybody laughs)

Barnacle Boy: And that's another thing. I'm not a boy. I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles in my liver spots. (shows a hair popping out)

Squidward: One Pipsqueak Patty (Shows a small Patty with a smile with pickles and Ketchup) and your bib and high chair. (Everybody laughs again)

Barnacle Boy: I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!

Mermaid Man: Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you?

Barnacle Boy: (Glaring) Feed this, old man! (slaps the Krabby Patty out of Mermaid Man's hand as everybody gasps) I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through protecting citizens that don't respect me.

SpongeBob: I respect you, Barnacle Man!

Barnacle Man: That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, man! Oh, forget it, people. I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil.

SpongeBob: Evil??

Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy: Evil?? (Mermaid Man is daydreaming blankly. Mr. Krabs slaps MM)

Mermaid Man: EVIL!!!

Barnacle Man: I'm crossing over to the dark side! (points to dark side of Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: Why should I waste money lighting the whole store? (villain car comes in)

Dirty Bubble: Did someone say evil?

SpongeBob: Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: Man-Ray and The Dirty Bubble! (Barnacle Man gets in villain car)

Barnacle Man: Nighty night, you old goat! (The villain car drives off)

Mermaid Man: Nighty-night. (to Squidward) Will you tuck me in? (Squidward glares)

Johnny: We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this special news break. Man-Ray (Manray on TV shoots down a building with his powers originally both a plane and the building), The Dirty Bubble (He absorbs a bank into himself), and now, playing for the dark side, Barnacle Boy...

Barnacle Man: Barnacle Man!

Johnny: ...have been committing a series of crimes in Bikini Bottom. (shows Man-Ray, The Dirty Bubble, and Barnacle Man ding-dong-ditching)

Barnacle Man: Shh!

Citizen: (opens door) I'll get you crazy kids.

Realistic Fish Head: These three have named their new alliance: Every Villain Is Lemons, otherwise known as E.V.I.L.! What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking you all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you? (Mermaid Man is daydreaming blankly again. Mr. Krabs slaps MM again)

Mermaid Man: Huh? I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! Nothing! (ice cream truck sounds) Ice cream? I love ice cream! A double scoop of prune with bran sprinkles. Mmm. (MM takes a bite but explodes then E.V.I.L. is shown as ice cream men) Goes right through me every time.

Barnacle Man: You might as well give up, Mermaid Man, because there are three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance. (Drives off)

SpongeBob: Are you okay, Mermaid Man? Oh, how are you going to beat all three of those guys all by yourself?

Mermaid Man: You're right. (sits down) I give up.

SpongeBob: You can't give up. What if we help you?

Mermaid Man: No, no, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?

SpongeBob: Okay.

Mermaid Man: Who wants to save the world?

SpongeBob: I do!

Sandy: I do!

Patrick: I do!

Squidward: I don't.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes, you do. No world means no money. Now go save the world, or you're fired!

Mermaid Man: Then it's settled. To the Mermalair!

SpongeBob: Wow! The Mermalair!

Mermaid Man: These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!

SpongeBob: Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever! (Holds up a lunchbox of MM and the superheroes as Barnacle Boy is taped off as an enemy) And you had the best lunch box, too.

Mermaid Man: Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours.

Sandy: Wow. I didn't think super powers worked that way.

Mermaid Man: Sure, power's all in the costume. Why else would we run around in colored undies?

Squidward: I can think of three good reasons.

Narrator: The Quickster... with the ability to run really... quick!

SpongeBob: Wanna see me run to that mountain and back? (doesn’t move) Wanna see me do it again?

Narrator: Captain Magma... get him angry and he's bound to erupt!

Squidward: Krakatoa! (lava shoots out)

Narrator: The Elastic Waistband... able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms!

Patrick: I can finally touch my toes! (stretches his toes over the back of his body and to his hands)

Narrator: And Miss Appear... now you see her... (disappears) ... now you don't.

Sandy: Does this outfit make me look fat?

Narrator: The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom. (Indonesian Version: A masterpiece of the nation.])

Mermaid Man: So, it's agreed. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives.

Chief: Super Acquaintances, we need your help.

SpongeBob: Holy halibut! It's the chief!

Chief: Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am. More importantly, we've found information on the whereabouts of E.V.I.L.

Patrick: The whoseabouts of what?

Sandy: You just tell us where they are, Chief, and we'll hog-tie 'em faster than you can say "Salsa Verde".

Chief: Our sources last found E.V.I.L. harassing teenagers up at "Make Out Reef". You know, Make-Out Reef? (makes out with himself) Whoo hoo hoo!

SpongeBob: Flopping flounder, Mermaid Man, Make-Out Reef!

Mermaid Man: Those fiends! Attacking hormonally stressed-out children!

Squidward: Ah, Make-Out Reef. Good times, good times.

Mermaid Man: To Make-Out Reef, away!

Patrick: Does this mean we're not getting pizza?

(Cut to a reef on the summit of a mountain)

John & Nancy: Stop, please!

E.V.I.L.: John and Nancy, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

Dirty Bubble: Oh! Shine the flashlight in that car, Man-Ray!

Man-Ray: Haha, with pleasure! (shines on a guy making out with a pillow)

Fish': Hey, man, that's not cool.

Mermaid Man: Leave those young lovers alone!

Man-Ray: Well if it isn't Milkmaid Man! Well you've saved us the trouble of tracking you down.

Mermaid Man: You fiends can't win! You're outnumbered!

Man-Ray: You senile bag of fish paste! There are three of us and only one of you! (SpongeBob runs to Mermaid Man's side)

SpongeBob: Make that two!

Man-Ray: The Quickster!

Squidward: (He volcanoes like a rocket next to Mermaid Man) Three!

Barnacle Man: Captain Magma!

Patrick: (Patrick stretches himself in loops and circles next to Mermaid Man) Four!

Dirty Bubble: The Elastic Waistband!

Sandy: (Appears out of nowhere) Five.

E.V.I.L.: M-M-Miss Appear!

Mermaid Man: And me makes ten...uhh, I think.

Man-Ray: Uh-oh.

Dirty Bubble: I don't have a good feeling about this.

Barnacle Man: Oh, there goes our toy deal.

Mermaid Man: Super Acquaintances, attack!

Barnacle Man: Oh no, please, mercy!

Squidward: Krakatoa! (lava shoots out onto The Quickster)

SpongeBob: Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it off!

Patrick: I'll save you, Quickster, ahh! (stretches his arms to try and save The Quickster but ends up getting pulled in circles with the Quickster. Patrick rockets out of the grip of the Quickster and lands on the ground as his stretched arms unravel back at him to tie him stuck to the ground)

Mermaid Man: I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls! (He creates a water ball and sees the Quickster in concentration, but targets Captain Magma instead) Aha!

Squidward: (Mermaid Man is facing Captain Magma) Huh? No, no, I'm not the quickster. I'm Captain Mag... (gets hit and burns up) ma. (disintegrates into dust)

Sandy: Well, I guess it's up to me! (Vanishes) I'll sneak over... unseen... and catch them by surprise. (a car hits Sandy sending her smashing through the sign of the site and off the cliff, screaming) br>

SpongeBob: Get it off! Get it off! (eventually stops but only shown as blue shoes) Whew. I'm glad that's over.
(E.V.I.L looks around to see the defeated super heroes and Mermaid Man falls on his back to surrender.)

Barnacle Man: We did it. We won! This day belongs to E.V.I.L.! (Barnacle Man approaches the fallen Mermaid Man and laughs maniacally) You've lost, Mermaid Man, and the superhero/super-villain rules say you have to give in to my demands.

Mermaid Man: Okay, what do you want?

Man-Ray: World domination! Tell him we want world domination!

Dirty Bubble: Oh, and make him eat dirt! Ha! (ManRay glares at him) In addition to the domination thing.

Barnacle Man: Number one, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Number two, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three...

Man-Ray: Come on, domination!

Barnacle Man: ....I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty.

Dirty Bubble: Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt?

Barnacle Man: Need a hand, superpal? (both start to get tears in their eyes)

Mermaid Man: Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle. Let's go get you that Krabby Patty!

Man-Ray: Was that it? Oh, that's sickening.

Dirty Bubble: Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Cancun with the killer shrimp. (laughs) Oh, they had these papaya drinks that were to die for and...

Man-Ray: (Obviously angered) Oh, Neptune, shut up.

(Back at The Krusty Krab)

Mermaid Man: How is that adult-sized Krabby Patty treating you, Barnacle Man?

Barnacle Man: Actually, it's pretty big. I'm not sure if I can finish the whole thing. (everyone laughs, starting with the heroes, SpongeBob, and his friends, who were all wrapped up or casted. Then we see a fish and his pillow he kissed laughing, and then it was the Dirty Bubble and Man-Ray, who in jail, and finally, the chief, who is still making out.)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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