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| | ==Dialogue== | | ==Dialogue== |
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| − | '''Narrator''': The New Adventures of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy. In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration.<br> | + | '''Narrator:''' Once upon a time, someone decided Barnacleboy...<br> |
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| − | '''All''': Will you hurry up?<br> | + | '''Barnacleboy:''' BARNACLEMAN!<br> |
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| − | '''Narrator''': A call that would normally be answered by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions. (If) they weren't the ones causing the problem.<br> | + | '''Narrator:''' Barnacleman had to team up with his and Mermaidman's arch-enemies - Professor Rattan and Jungle Jimmy.<br> |
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Let's see...I wanna, no. I wanna, uh, no, uh, hmmm...<br> | + | |
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| − | '''Squidward''': Sir, will you please order already? You're holding up the line!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': (whispering in Mermaidman's ear) Psst. Hey, Mermaidman, get a Krabby Patty.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': I've made my decision!<br>
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| − | '''Line of Customers''': Hooray!<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': 1 Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.<br>
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| − | '''Barnacleboy''': Now, wait just a darn minute.<br>
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| − | '''Line of Customers''': Awww!<br>
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| − | '''Barnacleboy''': I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty. I want an adult size Krabby Patty.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it.<br>
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| − | '''Barnacleboy''': Don't you see what you're doing. You're treating me like a child.<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': The boys eyes are bigger than his stomach. (laughs)<br>
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| − | '''Barnacleboy''': And that's another thing. I'm not a boy. I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles in my liver spots. (shows a hair popping out)<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': One Pipsqueak Patty (Shows a small Patty with a smile with pickles and Ketchup) and your bib and high chair.<br>
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| − | '''Barnacleboy''': I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you?<br>
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| − | '''Barnacleboy''': Feed this, old man! (slaps the Krabby Patty out of Mermaidman's hand) I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through protecting citizens that don't respect me!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I respect you, Barnacle Man!<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': That's Barnacleboy, I mean, man! Ohh... I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is... evil!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Evil??<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy''': Evil?? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM)<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': EVIL!!!<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': I'm crossing over to the dark side! (points to dark side of Krusty Krab)<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Why should I waste money lighting the whole store? (villain car comes in)<br>
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| − | '''Dirty Bubble''': Did someone say evil?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Holy oil spill! It's Mermaidman and Barnacleboy's arch enemies: Man-Ray and The Dirty Bubble! (BB gets in villain car)<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': Nighty night, you old goat!<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Nighty-night! (to Squidward) Will you tuck me in?<br>
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| − | '''Realistic Fish Head''': We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this news report. Man-Ray, The Dirty Bubble, and now, playing for the dark side, Barnacleboy...<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': Barnacle Man!<br>
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| − | '''Realistic Fish Head''': ...have been committing a series of crimes in Bikini Bottom. (shows Man-Ray, The Dirty Bubble, and Barnacle Man ding-dong-ditching)<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': Shh!<br>
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| − | '''Citizen''': (opens door) I'll get you crazy kids!<br>
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| − | '''Realistic Fish Head''': These three have named their new alliance: Every Villain Is Lemons, also known as E.V.I.L.! What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking ''you'' all these questions? Mermaidman, where are you? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM again)<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Huh? I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! Nothing! (ice cream truck sounds) Ice cream? I love ice cream! Two scoops of prune with bran sprinkles. Mmm. (MM takes a bite but explodes then E.V.I.L. is shown as ice cream men)<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': You might as well give up, Mermaidman, because there are three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Are you okay, Mermaidman? Oh, how are you going to beat those three guys all by yourself?<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': You're right. (sits down) I give up.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': You can't give up. What if we help you?<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': No, no, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Okay!<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Who wants to save the world?<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': I do!<br>
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| − | '''Sandy''': I do!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': I do!<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': I don't.<br>
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, yes, you do. No world means no money! Now go save the world, or you're fired!<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Then it's settled! To the Mermalair!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Wow! The Mermalair!<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever! And you had the best lunch box, too.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours.<br>
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| − | '''Sandy''': Wow! I didn't think super powers worked that way.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Sure! Power's all in the costume! Why else would we run around in colored undies?<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': I can think of three good reasons.<br>
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| − | '''Narrator''': The Quickster... with the ability to run really... quick!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Wanna see me run to that mountain and back? (doesn’t move) Wanna see me do it again?<br>
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| − | '''Narrator''': Captain Magma... get him angry and he's bound to erupt!<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Krakatoa! (lava shoots out)<br>
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| − | '''Narrator''': The Elastic Waistband... able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': I can finally touch my toes! (stretches his toes over the back of his body and to his hands)<br>
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| − | '''Narrator''': And Miss Appear... now you see her... (disappears) ... now you don't.<br>
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| − | '''Sandy''': Does this outfit make me look fat?<br>
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| − | '''Narrator''': The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': So, it's settled then. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives.<br>
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| − | '''Chief''': Super Acquaintances, we need your help.<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Holy halibut! It's the chief!<br>
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| − | '''Chief''': Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am! More importantly, we've found information on the whereabouts of E.V.I.L.<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': The whoseabouts of what?<br>
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| − | '''Sandy''': You just tell us where they are, Chief, and we'll hog-tie 'em faster than you can say "Salsa Verde".<br>
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| − | '''Chief''': Our sources last found E.V.I.L. harassing teenagers up at "Make Out Reef". You know, Make-Out Reef? (makes out with himself) Whoo hoo hoo!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Flopping flounder, Mermaidman, Make-Out Reef!<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Those fiends! Attacking hormonally stressed-out children!<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Ah, Make-Out Reef. Good times, good times.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': To Make-Out Reef, away!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Does this mean we're not getting pizza?<br>
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| − | '''John & Nancy''': Stop, please!<br>
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| − | '''E.V.I.L.''': John and Nancy, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!<br>
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| − | '''Dirty Bubble''': Oh! Shine the flashlight in that car, Man-Ray!<br>
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| − | '''Man-Ray''': Haha, with pleasure! (shines on a guy making out with a pillow)<br>
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| − | '''Fish'''': Hey, man, that's not cool.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': You leave those young lovers alone!<br>
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| − | '''Man-Ray''': Well if it isn't Milk Maid Man! You've saved us the trouble of tracking you down!<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': You fiends can't win! You're outnumbered!<br>
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| − | '''Man-Ray''': You senile bag of fish paste! There are three of us and only one of you!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Make that two!<br>
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| − | '''Man-Ray''': The Quickster!<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Three!<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': Captain Magma!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': Four!<br>
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| − | '''Dirty Bubble''': The Elastic Waistband!<br>
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| − | '''Sandy''': Five!<br>
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| − | '''E.V.I.L.''': M-M-Miss Appear!<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': And me makes ten, I think.<br>
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| − | '''Man-Ray''': Uh-oh, I don't have a good feeling about this.<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': Oh, there goes our toy deal.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Super Acquaintances, attack!<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': Oh no, please, mercy!<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': Krakatoa! (lava shoots out onto The Quickster)<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it off!<br>
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| − | '''Patrick''': I'll save you, Quickster, ahh! (stretches his arms to try and save The Quickster but ends up getting stuck)<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls! (concentrates but throws water ball at Captain Magma)<br>
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| − | '''Squidward''': No, no, I'm not the quickster. I'm Captain Mag... (gets hit and burns up) ma. (disintegrates)<br>
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| − | '''Sandy''': Well, I guess it's up to me! I'll sneak over... unseen... and catch them by surprise. (a car hits Sandy sending her off the cliff) Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br>
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| − | '''SpongeBob''': Get it off! Get it off! (eventually stops but only shown as shoes) Whew... I'm glad that's over!<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': We did it, we won! This day belongs to E.V.I.L.! You've lost, Mermaidman, and the superhero/super-villain rules say you have to give in to my demands.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Okay, what do you want?<br>
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| − | '''Man-Ray''': World domination! Tell him we want world domination!<br>
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| − | '''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, and make him eat dirt! Ha! In addition to the domination thing.<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': Number one, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Number two, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three...<br>
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| − | '''Man-Ray''': Come on, domination!<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty.<br>
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| − | '''Dirty Bubble''': Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt?<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': Need a hand, superpal? (both start to get tears in their eyes)<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle. Let's go get you that Krabby Patty!<br>
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| − | '''Man-Ray''': Was that it?! Oh, that's sickening.<br>
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| − | '''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Cancun with the killer shrimp. (laughs) Oh, they had these papaya drinks that were to die for!<br>
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| − | '''Man-Ray''': Oh, Neptune, shut up.<br>
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| − | '''Mermaidman''': How is that adult-sized Krabby Patty treating you, Barnacle Man?<br>
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| − | '''Barnacle Man''': Actually, it's pretty big. I'm not sure if I can finish the whole thing. (everyone laughs, starting with the heroes, SpongeBob, and his friends, who were all wrapped up or casted. Then we see a fish and his pillow he kissed laughing, and then it was the Dirty Bubble and Man-Ray, who in jail, and finally, the chief, who is still making out.)
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| | {{Transcripts/Season 3}} | | {{Transcripts/Season 3}} |
