Editing Episode Transcript: Band Geeks

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Episode Article: [[Band Geeks (Episode)|Band Geeks]]
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Episode Article: [[Band Geeks]]
  
 
==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
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 +
*[[Squidward]]
 
*[[Squilliam Fancyson]]
 
*[[Squilliam Fancyson]]
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
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*[[Patrick]]
 
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
 
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Sandy Cheeks|Sandy]]
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*[[Sandy]]
*[[Sheldon J. Plankton|Plankton]]
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*[[Mr. Krabs]]
 +
*[[Plankton]]
 
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
 
*[[Mrs. Puff]]
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
 
 
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
 
*[[Larry the Lobster]]
 
*[[Pearl]]
 
*[[Pearl]]
 
*[[Harold]]
 
*[[Harold]]
 
*[[Nancy]]
 
*[[Nancy]]
*[[Doctor Gill Gilliam]]
 
 
*[[Frank (Cameo Character)]]
 
*[[Frank (Cameo Character)]]
*[[Guest Stars|David Glen Eisley]], the lead singer [[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] from [[Sweet Victory]].
 
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
 +
 
(Squidward plays his clarinet until doorbell rings)
 
(Squidward plays his clarinet until doorbell rings)
  
'''Doctor Gill Gilliam:''' Yeah, uhh, we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand that you have a dying animal on the premises. (Squidward slams door. shellphone rings, Squidward picks it up)<br>
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'''Doctor Gill Gilliam:''' Yeah, uhh, we're with the pet hospital down the street, and I understand that you have a dying animal on the  
 +
premises. (Squidward slams door. shellphone rings, Squidward picks it up)<br>
  
 
'''Squidward:''' Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the (plays a foul clarinet note)<br>
 
'''Squidward:''' Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent. Please start after the (plays a foul clarinet note)<br>
  
'''Squilliam:''' (in left side of a split screen) Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh ol' chum?<br>
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'''Squilliam(in left side of a split screen):'''  Sounds like you've got a dying animal to attend to, eh ol' chum?<br>
  
'''Squidward:''' (on right side of split screen) Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!<br>
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'''Squidward(on right side of split screen):''' (gasps) Squilliam Fancyson from band class?!<br>
  
 
'''Squilliam:''' (snooty) I hear you're playing the cash register now.<br>
 
'''Squilliam:''' (snooty) I hear you're playing the cash register now.<br>
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'''Squidward:''' Sometimes. Uh, how's the unibrow?<br>
 
'''Squidward:''' Sometimes. Uh, how's the unibrow?<br>
  
'''Squilliam:''' It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the BUBBLE BOWL next week.<br>
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'''Squilliam:''' It's big and valuable. I'm the leader of a big fancy band now, and we're supposed to play the BUBBLE BOWL next  
 +
week.<br>
  
'''Squidward:''' (stammering) The ba-ba-ba...The ba-ba-ba...The ba-ba-ba...<br>
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'''Squidward:''' (stammering) The ba-ba-ba…The ba-ba-ba…The ba-ba-ba...<br>
  
'''Squilliam:''' That's right. I'm living YOUR dreams Squidward. The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it. So, I was hoping you and your band could cover for us.<br>
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'''Squilliam:''' That's right. I'm living YOUR dreams Squidward. The problem is, I'm busy next week and can't make it. So, I  
 +
was hoping you and your band could cover for us.<br>
  
'''Squidward:''' (still stammering) Ohh, uhh, I...I, uhh...<br>
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'''Squidward:''' (still stammering) Ohh, uhh, I…I, uhh…<br>
  
 
'''Squilliam:''' I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now.<br>
 
'''Squilliam:''' I knew it! You don't even have a band! Well, I'll just let you get back to the service industry now.<br>
  
 
'''Squidward:''' '''''HOLD IT!''''' It just '''''so''''' happens that I '''''don't''''' sell fast food, I '''''do''''' have a  
 
'''Squidward:''' '''''HOLD IT!''''' It just '''''so''''' happens that I '''''don't''''' sell fast food, I '''''do''''' have a  
band, and we're going to play that '''''Bubble Bowl!''''' How do you like '''''that,''''' Fancy '''''Boy?!'''''<br>
+
band, and we're going to play that '''''Bubble Bowl!''''' How do you like '''''that,''''' Fancy'''''boy?!'''''<br>
  
'''Squilliam:''' Good luck, next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of…Ibuprofen! (hangs up phone)<br>
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'''Squilliam:''' Good luck, next Tuesday. I hope the audience brings lots of…Ibuprofen. (hangs up phone)<br>
  
'''Squidward:''' I've got to drum up a marching band fast! Drum...haha...band humor.<br> (screen fades to Bikini Bottomites reading off of band practice flyers)  
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'''Squidward:''' I've got to drum up a marching band fast! Drum…haha…band humor.<br> (screen fades to Bikini Bottomites reading off of band practice flyers)  
  
 
'''Sandy:''' Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?
 
'''Sandy:''' Looking to add fulfillment to your dull, dull life?
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'''Squidward:''' People, people, settle down! Ok, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?<br>
 
'''Squidward:''' People, people, settle down! Ok, now. How many of you have played musical instruments before?<br>
 +
  
 
'''Plankton:''' Do instruments of torture count?<br>
 
'''Plankton:''' Do instruments of torture count?<br>
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'''Squidward:''' No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. (Patrick raises his hand again) Horse radish is not an  
 
'''Squidward:''' No, Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. (Patrick raises his hand again) Horse radish is not an  
instrument, either. (Patrick lowers his hand) That's fine. No one has experience. Fortunately, I have enough  
+
instrument, either. (Patrick lowers his hand) That's fine. No one has ''any'' experience. Fortunately, I have enough  
 
talent for ''all'' of you. (laughs)<br>
 
talent for ''all'' of you. (laughs)<br>
  
 
'''Mr. Krabs:''' When do we get the free food?<br>
 
'''Mr. Krabs:''' When do we get the free food?<br>
  
'''Squidward:''' Okay, try to repeat after me. (Squidward plays 6 notes) Brass section, go. (brass section repeats) Good. Now the wind. (wind section repeats) And the drums. (drum players, including SpongeBob, misunderstand what Squidward means, so they blow on their drum sticks, which blow out and stick Squidward to the wall) Too bad that didn't kill me. (Next scene)
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'''Squidward:''' Ok, try to repeat after me. (Squidward plays 6 notes) Brass section, go. (brass section repeats) Good. Now the  
 +
wind. (wind section repeats) And the drums. (drum players, including SpongeBob, misunderstand what Squidward means, so they blow on their drum sticks, which blow out and stick Squidward to the wall) Too bad that didn't kill me. (Next scene)
 
Let's just try stepping in rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.<br>
 
Let's just try stepping in rhythm. Now I want everyone to stand in straight rows of five.<br>
  
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'''Squidward:''' No, SpongeBob, that's a chorus line.<br>
 
'''Squidward:''' No, SpongeBob, that's a chorus line.<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Kicking?! I want to do some kicking! (kicks Sandy in her leg and balls)<br>
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'''Patrick''': Kicking?! I want to do some kicking! (Patrick kicks Sandy in her leg )<br>
  
'''Sandy:''' Ow! Why, you…! Why I oughta. (dust cloud of beatings appears with Sandy jumping at Patrick, which then goes out an open door, which then closes)<br>
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'''Sandy:''' Ow! Why, you…! (dust cloud of beatings appears with Sandy jumping at Patrick, which then goes out an open door, which then closes)<br>
  
 
[PATRICK YELLS OUTSIDE]<br>
 
[PATRICK YELLS OUTSIDE]<br>
  
'''Patrick''': Whoever's the owner of a white sedan, you left your lights on. (Patrick walks in with his head and torso seperated by a trombone, his head in the horn, then plays a tune with a series of A and B-flats.  When he sits down, he plays a loud blare as the trombone slide goes down and opens his mouth, then when the note is over, he looks down with his head straight)<br>
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'''Patrick''': Whoever's the owner of a white sedan, you left your lights on. (Patrick walks in with his head and torso seperated by a trombone, his head in the horn, then plays a tune with a series of A and B-flats.  When he sits down, he plays a loud blare as the trombone stick goes down and opens his mouth, then when the note is over, he looks down with his head straight)<br>
  
'''French Narrator:''' Day two. (band walking down a street playing)<br>
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'''Narrator:''' Day two. (band walking down a street playing)<br>
  
 
'''Squidward:''' Okay, that's perfect everybody. Bubble Bowl here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn.  
 
'''Squidward:''' Okay, that's perfect everybody. Bubble Bowl here we come. Flag twirlers, really spin those things. Okay, turn.  
 
Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers let's move!!! C'mon, move!!! (flag twirlers spin fast and fly into the air and explode when running into a blimp. Trumpet player plays "Taps", then Squidward lies down on street, curled up in a ball)<br>
 
Flag twirlers, let's go. I wanna see some spinning. Flag twirlers let's move!!! C'mon, move!!! (flag twirlers spin fast and fly into the air and explode when running into a blimp. Trumpet player plays "Taps", then Squidward lies down on street, curled up in a ball)<br>
  
'''French Narrator:''' Day three.<br>
+
'''Narrator:''' Day three.<br>
  
 
'''Squidward:''' How's that harmonica solo coming, Plankton?
 
'''Squidward:''' How's that harmonica solo coming, Plankton?
  
'''Plankton:''' It's tremendous! Ya wanna see? (runs to his harmonica and plays the first note. Runs along and plays another note. Runs down and plays three notes at the same time. He gets tired and walks slowly to another note. Has trouble playing it. Falls down and spreads saliva)
+
'''Plankton:''' It's tremendous! Ya wanna see? {runs to his harmonica and plays the first note. Runs along and plays another note. Runs down and plays three notes at the same time. He gets tired and walks slowly to another note. Has trouble playing it. Falls down and spreads saliva}
  
'''French Narrator:''' Day four.
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'''Narrator:''' Day four.
  
 
'''Squidward:''' Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began…
 
'''Squidward:''' Well, this is our last night together before the show. And I know that none of you improved since we began…
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'''Plankton:''' (loudly) '''''CORRECT!!'''''<br>
 
'''Plankton:''' (loudly) '''''CORRECT!!'''''<br>
  
'''Squidward:''' So, if we play loud, people might think we're good. Everybody ready? (everybody gets their instuments ready) And a one, and a two, and a one, two, three, four! (Instantly a piercing loud horrible sound from the instruments breaks the windows apart and causes a small earthquake. Squidward's face is deformed like a Picasso painting and his baton breaks in half) Okay, new theory..... Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' So, if we play loud, people might think we're good. Everybody ready? { Everybody gets their instuments ready}And a one, and a two, and a one, two,  
 +
three, four! (windows break and Squidward's face is deformed when they make a piercing noise with their instruments) Ok, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.<br>
  
'''Harold:''' (Australian accent) Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so ''bad'' if '''''some''''' people didn't try to play with big, meaty claws!<br>
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'''Harold:''' Well, maybe we wouldn't sound so ''bad'' if '''''some''''' people didn't try to play with big, meaty claws!<br>
  
 
'''Mr. Krabs:''' What did you say, '''''punk?!'''''<br>
 
'''Mr. Krabs:''' What did you say, '''''punk?!'''''<br>
  
'''Harold:''' (Angrily) '''''BIG''''', '''''MEATY''''' '''''CLAWS!'''''<br>
+
'''Harold:''' '''''BIG''''', '''''MEATY''''' '''''CLAWS!'''''<br>
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (Turns his eyes in anger) Well, these claws ain't just for attracting mates.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, these claws ain't just for attracting mates.<br>
  
 
'''Harold:''' Bring it on, old man! Bring it on!<br>
 
'''Harold:''' Bring it on, old man! Bring it on!<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': No, people. Let's be smart and bring it ''off''.<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': No, people. Let's be smart and bring it ''off''.<br>
  
'''Nancy:''' '''''Oh ho,''''' so now the talking ''cheese'' is going to preach to us. <br>
+
'''Nancy:''' '''''Oh ho,''''' so now the talking ''[[SpongeBob|cheese]]'' is going to preach to us. <br>
  
 
[ALL ARGUING]
 
[ALL ARGUING]
  
 
'''Squidward:''' Wait, wait. I know tensions are high. (everyone gets into a fight. Pilar and Larry are yelling at each other. Medley slams a drum on him.) There's a deposit on the equipment, people!  
 
'''Squidward:''' Wait, wait. I know tensions are high. (everyone gets into a fight. Pilar and Larry are yelling at each other. Medley slams a drum on him.) There's a deposit on the equipment, people!  
(everyone uses their instruments as weapons. Mr. Krabs and Harold charge with clarinets like a joust but they slow down as Mrs. Puff slams them with cymbals.) Settle down, please. (Sandy and Frank are fighting. Sandy destroys Frank's xylophone by chopping it with a drum stick and he runs away. Patrick furiously kicks Sandy in the balls, and Sandy glares, turns red and snarls before grabbing a trombone. Patrick screams and runs off as Sandy chases him and the clock sounds at 10 and everyone stops fighting.)<br>
+
(everyone uses their instruments as weapons. Mr. Krabs and Harold charge with clarinets. Mrs. Puff slams them with cymbals.) Settle down, please. (Sandy and Frank are fighting. Sandy destroys Frank's xylophone and he runs away. Patrick kicks Sandy, and Sandy chases Patrick and the clock sounds at 10 and everyone stops fighting.)<br>
  
'''Fred:''' Hey, class is over! (they all walk to the door making up their fight where Squidward slams them open)<br>
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'''Fred:''' Hey, class is over! (they all walk to the door where Squidward slams them open)<br>
  
 
'''Squidward:''' Well, you did it. You took my one chance at happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny, bite-size  
 
'''Squidward:''' Well, you did it. You took my one chance at happiness and crushed it. Crushed it into little tiny, bite-size  
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'''Evelyn:''' A firemen.<br>
 
'''Evelyn:''' A firemen.<br>
  
'''SpongeBob''': And Larry, when you fail out from all those tanning pills, who revived you?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': And Larry, when your heart gave out from all those tanning pills, who revived you?<br>
  
 
'''Larry:''' Some guy in an ambulance.<br>
 
'''Larry:''' Some guy in an ambulance.<br>
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'''Harold:''' Yeah, for the fireman!<br>
 
'''Harold:''' Yeah, for the fireman!<br>
 +
  
 
'''All:''' Hooray!<br>
 
'''All:''' Hooray!<br>
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that… (sees Squilliam) …'''''SQUILLIAM DOESN'T FIND OUT! SQUILLIAM!! AH!''''' What are you doing here?<br>
 
that… (sees Squilliam) …'''''SQUILLIAM DOESN'T FIND OUT! SQUILLIAM!! AH!''''' What are you doing here?<br>
  
'''Squilliam''': (laughs) I just wanted to watch you blow it. So, where's your band?<br>
+
Squilliam:''' (laughs) I just wanted to watch you blow it. So, where's your band?<br>
 
+
'''
 
'''Squidward:''' Um, they couldn't come. They…died.<br>
 
'''Squidward:''' Um, they couldn't come. They…died.<br>
  
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'''SpongeBob''': We're ready to perform, Squidward.<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': We're ready to perform, Squidward.<br>
  
'''Squilliam:''' Well, Squiddy, this is exactly how I pictured your band with look. (SpongeBob dances while flicking his tongue back and forth)<br>
+
'''Squilliam:''' Well, Squiddy, this is exactly how I pictured your band with look. (SpongeBob dances)<br>
  
 
'''Squidward:''' That's his…''eager face''. (Squilliam laughs. They all go into the Bubble Bowl)<br>  
 
'''Squidward:''' That's his…''eager face''. (Squilliam laughs. They all go into the Bubble Bowl)<br>  
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'''SpongeBob''': That's the spirit, Squidward. (bowl raises above a football field)<br>
 
'''SpongeBob''': That's the spirit, Squidward. (bowl raises above a football field)<br>
  
'''Football Announcer:''' OK, football fans. Put your hands together for the Bikini Bottom SuperBand!!!!! (crowd cheers)<br>
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'''Football Announcer:''' Ok, football fans. Put your hands together for the Bikini Bottom SuperBand!!!!! (crowd cheers)<br>
  
 
'''Patrick''': These are some ugly looking fish.<br>
 
'''Patrick''': These are some ugly looking fish.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs:''' I think I'm gonna be sick.<br>
 
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I think I'm gonna be sick.<br>
  
'''Squidward:''' (Nervously) Okay, everybody. Let's get this over with. One, two, three, four...
+
'''Squidward:''' (Nervously) Ok, everybody. Let's get this over with. One, two, three, four...
  
 
(Several band members play trumpets for a short time)
 
(Several band members play trumpets for a short time)
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And the world is ours to follow. Sweet, sweet, sweet victory.
 
And the world is ours to follow. Sweet, sweet, sweet victory.
  
(Squilliam is shocked at the band's success and Squidward looks at Squilliam in an evil and smug way causing Squilliam to be scared. Squidward as he makes rock star moves, Squilliam passes out of a heart attack and Squidward waves good bye to him as medical doctors take him away in the distance. Squidward jumps into the air, delighted that he has a great band)  
+
( Squidward looks at Squilliam in an evil way causing to be scared. He passes out of a heart attack and Squidward waves good bye to him.Squidward jumps into the air, delighted that he impressed Squilliam)  
  
{{Timeline}}
 
 
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
 
{{Transcripts/Season 2}}
 +
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 2]]

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