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Episode Transcript: The Lost Mattress
| Line 16: | Line 16: | ||
*[[Mr. Krabs]] | *[[Mr. Krabs]] | ||
| − | ( | + | (Squidward’s watch strikes 9 o'clock)<br> |
Squidward: Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe he'll finally fire me. (laughs as he walks into the closed front doors of the | Squidward: Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe he'll finally fire me. (laughs as he walks into the closed front doors of the | ||
Krusty Krab) Locked?<br> | Krusty Krab) Locked?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: This isn't happening. This isn't happening.<br> | |
| − | Squidward: | + | Squidward: SpongeBob?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: The horror, it's unspeakable. Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!<br> | |
Squidward: You mean I got out of bed for nothing?<br> | Squidward: You mean I got out of bed for nothing?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we going to do, | |
Squidward? There are krabby patties inside all alone.<br> | Squidward? There are krabby patties inside all alone.<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (faces comes out his backside) Mr. Krabs, you're here! (jumping around) Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something | |
might have happened to you. That the world would've been deprived of the greatest food known to man.<br> | might have happened to you. That the world would've been deprived of the greatest food known to man.<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: (drops his keys) Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a | + | Mr. Krabs: (drops his keys) Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (cries) I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.<br> | |
Squidward: Harsh. (laughs)<br> | Squidward: Harsh. (laughs)<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: (breaks his back) Arrgh, me back!<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: (breaks his back) Arrgh, me back!<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: No, I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: No, I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh good, I thought you were hurt.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: I am hurt, ya idiot! ( | + | Mr. Krabs: I am hurt, ya idiot! (SpongeBob cries) I'm sorry I snapped at ya, laddie. It's just me back is killing me. It's me |
old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind. (back breaks again) Oh, me back. | old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind. (back breaks again) Oh, me back. | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we going to do, Squidward? | |
| − | Squidward: Why do anything? I like the new Mr Krabs. He yells at you more. (laughs)<br> | + | Squidward: Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more. (laughs)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward.<br> | |
Squidward: So am I.<br> | Squidward: So am I.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: We should get Mr Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift. Then we'll never have to be late to | |
work again.<br> | work again.<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my 'richer than me' skin | + | Squidward: What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my 'richer than me' skin Flynn boss? No, thank you. (enters |
Krusty Krab)<br> | Krusty Krab)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: That's ok, Squidward, you'll warm up to the idea. (later) Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.<br> | |
Patrick: No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store. (both enter store and gasp)<br> | Patrick: No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store. (both enter store and gasp)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I've never seen so many mattress.<br> | |
Patrick: Yeah.<br> | Patrick: Yeah.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: How many do you think there are?<br> | |
Patrick: (looks around and thinks) 10.<br> | Patrick: (looks around and thinks) 10.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Cool.<br> | |
| − | Employee: There's plenty more than that. Try them out. Find one you like. ( | + | Employee: There's plenty more than that. Try them out. Find one you like. (SpongeBob jumps on a mattress but Patrick shakes his head. Patrick lays down on a mattress but sinks into it as SpongeBob shakes his head. SpongeBob falls on his back on a rock-hard mattress. Patrick sits in a racecar bed then a crashing sound is heard. SpongeBob sits on a bunch of needles and the employee holds up a first-aid kit. Finally, Patrick sits on a mattress that rotates in rolling from side to side. Now back at the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing)<br> |
Squidward: What are you morons doing?<br> | Squidward: What are you morons doing?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Making a card for Mr. Krabs. To go with his new mattress.<br> | |
Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card. | Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card. | ||
| Line 89: | Line 89: | ||
Patrick: Hey, you didn't even help pay.<br> | Patrick: Hey, you didn't even help pay.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh, that's ok, as long as Mr. Krabs is happy. (later at Mr. Krabs house)<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mount less, lumpy mattress. (lays on his |
| − | mattress) Huh, that's queer. Me mattress seems | + | mattress) Huh, that's queer. Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter. Like... (falls asleep)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob, Patrick & Squidward: Surprise!<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: What? Oh, you? What in the blue eye scallop are you doing in me bedroom?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: What? Oh, you? What in the blue eye scallop are you doing in me bedroom?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.<br> | |
Squidward: So I suggested we get you a new one.<br> | Squidward: So I suggested we get you a new one.<br> | ||
| − | Patrick: (talking to | + | Patrick: (talking to SpongeBob) I thought it was your idea.<br> |
| − | Mr Krabs: So, where's me old mattress then?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: So, where's me old mattress then?<br> |
| − | Squidward: Don't worry, Mr Krabs, I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.<br> | + | Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.<br> |
| − | Mr Krabs: (jumps on Squidward) All my money was in that mattress.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: (jumps on Squidward) All my money was in that mattress.<br> |
Squidward: What? Haven't you ever heard of a bank?<br> | Squidward: What? Haven't you ever heard of a bank?<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: No!<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: No!<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: No! (faints)<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: No! (faints)<br> |
Patrick: And we got you a card.<br> | Patrick: And we got you a card.<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: Is there money in it?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Is there money in it?<br> |
| − | Patrick: Nope. (Mr Krabs faints again. Later, at the hospital)<br> | + | Patrick: Nope. (Mr. Krabs faints again. Later, at the hospital)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?<br> | |
| − | Doctor: Mr Krabs is in cash-coma. Only the return of his money can save his life.<br> | + | Doctor: Mr. Krabs is in cash-coma. Only the return of his money can save his life.<br> |
| − | Squidward: It was | + | Squidward: It was SpongeBob’s fault. Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea.<br> |
Patrick: I knew it!<br> | Patrick: I knew it!<br> | ||
| − | Police Officer: Not so fast. (holds up get well card) This card says 'This was all my idea. Love, Squidward'. If Mr Krabs | + | Police Officer: Not so fast. (holds up get well card) This card says 'This was all my idea. Love, Squidward'. If Mr. Krabs |
doesn't pull through, you're going to jail.<br> | doesn't pull through, you're going to jail.<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: Ooh...you did this, | + | Squidward: Ooh...you did this, SquarePants! If you don't get Mr. Krabs mattress back, I'm going to murd... (officer clears |
throat) ....help you do it myself.<br> | throat) ....help you do it myself.<br> | ||
| Line 144: | Line 144: | ||
Patrick: What a dump.<br> | Patrick: What a dump.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: We gotta get in there, Squidward. Mr. Krabs is counting on us.<br> | |
| − | Patrick: Hey, | + | Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Terrific, Patrick, you found it!<br> | |
Squidward: What? Where? Lemme see. Where?<br> | Squidward: What? Where? Lemme see. Where?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Underneath that really big guard worm.<br> | |
Squidward: Oh, that figures.<br> | Squidward: Oh, that figures.<br> | ||
| Line 166: | Line 166: | ||
Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room!<br> | Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room!<br> | ||
| − | Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat! (Mr Krabs is pushed into a snack machine)<br> | + | Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat! (Mr. Krabs is pushed into a snack machine)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Well, that's Mr. Krabs mattress, alright. Let's go get it.<br> | |
Squidward: Ok, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without waking the | Squidward: Ok, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without waking the | ||
| Line 175: | Line 175: | ||
Patrick: Why not?<br> | Patrick: Why not?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Because that would be rude, Patrick.<br> | |
Squidward: And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive!<br> | Squidward: And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive!<br> | ||
| Line 187: | Line 187: | ||
Squidward: My pleasure.<br> | Squidward: My pleasure.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (Patrick climbs the fence) Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick? You can see everything from up here.<br> | |
Patrick: Wow. (both sigh)<br> | Patrick: Wow. (both sigh)<br> | ||
| Line 193: | Line 193: | ||
Squidward: What are you morons doing?<br> | Squidward: What are you morons doing?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Hey Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here. | |
| − | Patrick: Where? I can't see them. (fence flips around to where Squidward is inside and | + | Patrick: Where? I can't see them. (fence flips around to where Squidward is inside and SpongeBob & Patrick are outside)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow. (both laugh)<br> | |
Squidward: What did you idiots do?<br> | Squidward: What did you idiots do?<br> | ||
| Line 203: | Line 203: | ||
Patrick: Squidward, what are you going in there? You were suppose to keep watch.<br> | Patrick: Squidward, what are you going in there? You were suppose to keep watch.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yeah and you woke up the guard worm, too.<br> | |
Squidward: I didn't do it! You blockheads woke...the...worm.<br> | Squidward: I didn't do it! You blockheads woke...the...worm.<br> | ||
| Line 209: | Line 209: | ||
(later at the hospital)<br> | (later at the hospital)<br> | ||
| − | Doctor #2: | + | Doctor #2: Doctor?<br> |
Doctor #1: Yes, doctor?<br> | Doctor #1: Yes, doctor?<br> | ||
| Line 225: | Line 225: | ||
(later at the dump)<br> | (later at the dump)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (climbing down a rope with Patrick to get inside the gate) Worm bait to the retriever. Worm bait to the | |
retriever. We're in. Out.<br> | retriever. We're in. Out.<br> | ||
Squidward: Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.<br> | Squidward: Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br> | |
Squidward: No. In. Out.<br> | Squidward: No. In. Out.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br> | |
Squidward: Oh, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?<br> | Squidward: Oh, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Affirmative.<br> | |
Squidward: Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.<br> | Squidward: Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Affirmative. Out. Oh, that's why he calls himself the retriever.<br> | |
Patrick: Why are we called worm bait?<br> | Patrick: Why are we called worm bait?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I dunno. (ululating with Patrick. Then both uses pots and pans to make loud noises that draws the guard worm | |
away)<br> | away)<br> | ||
Squidward: And my perfect plan falls into place. (laughs)<br> | Squidward: And my perfect plan falls into place. (laughs)<br> | ||
| − | Patrick: Uhh, | + | Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?<br> | |
Patrick: I think I know why our code name is worm bait. (guard worm rushes up and growls at them both until it notices the | Patrick: I think I know why our code name is worm bait. (guard worm rushes up and growls at them both until it notices the | ||
| − | wooden spoon in | + | wooden spoon in SpongeBob’s hand)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Nice worm. Good, kind, gentle worm. (worms eyes turn into an image of the wooden spoon)<br> | |
| − | Patrick: Ohh, | + | Patrick: Ohh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (SpongeBob raises the spoon then lowers the spoon as the worms eyes follow where the spoon is) Wow, I think | |
you're right, Patrick.<br> | you're right, Patrick.<br> | ||
Patrick: See if he plays catch.<br> | Patrick: See if he plays catch.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Ok, see the stick boy? (throws spoon) Go get it, boy! (worm chases after spoon)<br> | |
Squidward: Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius. (wooden spoon hits Squidward in the head) Ouch. What the...? Hey, I | Squidward: Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius. (wooden spoon hits Squidward in the head) Ouch. What the...? Hey, I | ||
| Line 279: | Line 279: | ||
Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?<br> | Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?<br> | ||
| − | Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.<br> | + | Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.<br> |
Doctor: Yes, yes he is.<br> | Doctor: Yes, yes he is.<br> | ||
| Line 288: | Line 288: | ||
Doctor: Not to worry. Nurse!<br> | Doctor: Not to worry. Nurse!<br> | ||
| − | Nurse: I'm on it. (pushes Mr Krabs away from the hospital) | + | Nurse: I'm on it. (pushes Mr. Krabs away from the hospital) |
(back at the dump)<br> | (back at the dump)<br> | ||
| Line 294: | Line 294: | ||
Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?<br> | Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: We feel silly.<br> | |
Squidward: Come on, do it for old man Krabs.<br> | Squidward: Come on, do it for old man Krabs.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Ok. (SpongeBob & Patrick jump out of the portable potty in steak costumes) Can you explain the plan again, | |
Squidward?<br> | Squidward?<br> | ||
Squidward: Sure, but first, put on this cologne.<br> | Squidward: Sure, but first, put on this cologne.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (reads label) Steak sauce? (shrugs shoulders and puts the sauces on his body)<br> | |
Squidward: Ok, so you are dressed as choice cuts. You go in there and yell 'Trick or Treat!'. The worm will realize he | Squidward: Ok, so you are dressed as choice cuts. You go in there and yell 'Trick or Treat!'. The worm will realize he | ||
| Line 312: | Line 312: | ||
Squidward: Now get in there!<br> | Squidward: Now get in there!<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Happy Halloween, Squidward!<br> | |
| − | Squidward: I am not going to get hurt this time. (hears some rattling in the distance. Its Mr Krabs on his hospital bed rolling down the street into the dump) Isn't that Mr Krabs? (screams as Mr Krabs runs over Squidward, crashes through the gate, runs into a rock causing the bed to flip him over in front of his mattress. Guard worm growls)<br> | + | Squidward: I am not going to get hurt this time. (hears some rattling in the distance. Its Mr. Krabs on his hospital bed rolling down the street into the dump) Isn't that Mr. Krabs? (screams as Mr. Krabs runs over Squidward, crashes through the gate, runs into a rock causing the bed to flip him over in front of his mattress. Guard worm growls)<br> |
Patrick: That guard worm doesn't look very happy.<br> | Patrick: That guard worm doesn't look very happy.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: (sniffs around) It's...me money! (guard worm snarls as Mr Krabs sends the worm into the air and off the mattress) | + | Mr. Krabs: (sniffs around) It's...me money! (guard worm snarls as Mr. Krabs sends the worm into the air and off the mattress) |
Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.<br> | Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs jumps on his mattress and barks) No, Mr. Krabs, it's us!<br> | |
Patrick: Trick or treat.<br> | Patrick: Trick or treat.<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: Oh, hey | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you. Say, why are you two dressed like meat?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Not just meat, we're choice cuts. Right, Squidward?<br> | |
| − | Squidward: Oh, I give up. (guard worm lands in | + | Squidward: Oh, I give up. (guard worm lands in Squidward’s arm snarling at him. Squidward runs off as the worm chases him)<br> |
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | ||
Revision as of 12:57, 14 April 2008
| Back Episode Transcript | Next Episode Transcript |
|---|---|
| Shell of a Man | Krabs vs. Plankton |
Episode Article: The Lost Mattress
Characters
(Squidward’s watch strikes 9 o'clock)
Squidward: Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe he'll finally fire me. (laughs as he walks into the closed front doors of the
Krusty Krab) Locked?
SpongeBob: This isn't happening. This isn't happening.
Squidward: SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: The horror, it's unspeakable. Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!
Squidward: You mean I got out of bed for nothing?
SpongeBob: The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we going to do,
Squidward? There are krabby patties inside all alone.
Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.
SpongeBob: (faces comes out his backside) Mr. Krabs, you're here! (jumping around) Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something
might have happened to you. That the world would've been deprived of the greatest food known to man.
Mr. Krabs: (drops his keys) Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?
SpongeBob: (cries) I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.
Squidward: Harsh. (laughs)
Mr. Krabs: (breaks his back) Arrgh, me back!
SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: No, I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze.
SpongeBob: Oh good, I thought you were hurt.
Mr. Krabs: I am hurt, ya idiot! (SpongeBob cries) I'm sorry I snapped at ya, laddie. It's just me back is killing me. It's me old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind. (back breaks again) Oh, me back.
SpongeBob: Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we going to do, Squidward?
Squidward: Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more. (laughs)
SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward.
Squidward: So am I.
SpongeBob: We should get Mr Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift. Then we'll never have to be late to
work again.
Squidward: What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my 'richer than me' skin Flynn boss? No, thank you. (enters
Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: That's ok, Squidward, you'll warm up to the idea. (later) Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.
Patrick: No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store. (both enter store and gasp)
SpongeBob: I've never seen so many mattress.
Patrick: Yeah.
SpongeBob: How many do you think there are?
Patrick: (looks around and thinks) 10.
SpongeBob: Cool.
Employee: There's plenty more than that. Try them out. Find one you like. (SpongeBob jumps on a mattress but Patrick shakes his head. Patrick lays down on a mattress but sinks into it as SpongeBob shakes his head. SpongeBob falls on his back on a rock-hard mattress. Patrick sits in a racecar bed then a crashing sound is heard. SpongeBob sits on a bunch of needles and the employee holds up a first-aid kit. Finally, Patrick sits on a mattress that rotates in rolling from side to side. Now back at the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing)
Squidward: What are you morons doing?
SpongeBob: Making a card for Mr. Krabs. To go with his new mattress.
Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card.
(signs card) Trying to outsmart me, will ya? (licks envelope) There, I signed it for all of us.
Patrick: Hey, you didn't even help pay.
SpongeBob: Oh, that's ok, as long as Mr. Krabs is happy. (later at Mr. Krabs house)
Mr. Krabs: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mount less, lumpy mattress. (lays on his
mattress) Huh, that's queer. Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter. Like... (falls asleep)
SpongeBob, Patrick & Squidward: Surprise!
Mr. Krabs: What? Oh, you? What in the blue eye scallop are you doing in me bedroom?
SpongeBob: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.
Squidward: So I suggested we get you a new one.
Patrick: (talking to SpongeBob) I thought it was your idea.
Mr. Krabs: So, where's me old mattress then?
Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs, I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.
Mr. Krabs: (jumps on Squidward) All my money was in that mattress.
Squidward: What? Haven't you ever heard of a bank?
Mr. Krabs: No!
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: No! (faints)
Patrick: And we got you a card.
Mr. Krabs: Is there money in it?
Patrick: Nope. (Mr. Krabs faints again. Later, at the hospital)
SpongeBob: Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?
Doctor: Mr. Krabs is in cash-coma. Only the return of his money can save his life.
Squidward: It was SpongeBob’s fault. Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea.
Patrick: I knew it!
Police Officer: Not so fast. (holds up get well card) This card says 'This was all my idea. Love, Squidward'. If Mr. Krabs
doesn't pull through, you're going to jail.
Squidward: Ooh...you did this, SquarePants! If you don't get Mr. Krabs mattress back, I'm going to murd... (officer clears
throat) ....help you do it myself.
Patrick: Wow, he really do es care.
(later at the dump)
Patrick: What a dump.
SpongeBob: We gotta get in there, Squidward. Mr. Krabs is counting on us.
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?
SpongeBob: Terrific, Patrick, you found it!
Squidward: What? Where? Lemme see. Where?
SpongeBob: Underneath that really big guard worm.
Squidward: Oh, that figures.
(later at the hospital)
Doctor: Oh no, this is horrible.
Nurse: What is it, doctor?
Doctor: This man has no insurance.
Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room!
Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat! (Mr. Krabs is pushed into a snack machine)
SpongeBob: Well, that's Mr. Krabs mattress, alright. Let's go get it.
Squidward: Ok, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without waking the
worm.
Patrick: Why not?
SpongeBob: Because that would be rude, Patrick.
Squidward: And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive!
Patrick: Hey, wait a minute, what are you gonna do?
Squidward: Oh, I've got the most important job. I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe.
Patrick: Gee, thanks buddy.
Squidward: My pleasure.
SpongeBob: (Patrick climbs the fence) Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick? You can see everything from up here.
Patrick: Wow. (both sigh)
Squidward: What are you morons doing?
SpongeBob: Hey Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.
Patrick: Where? I can't see them. (fence flips around to where Squidward is inside and SpongeBob & Patrick are outside)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow. (both laugh)
Squidward: What did you idiots do?
Patrick: Squidward, what are you going in there? You were suppose to keep watch.
SpongeBob: Yeah and you woke up the guard worm, too.
Squidward: I didn't do it! You blockheads woke...the...worm.
(later at the hospital)
Doctor #2: Doctor?
Doctor #1: Yes, doctor?
Doctor #2: Regarding your patient, doctor. I have come to this conclusion.
Doctor #1: Yes, go on.
Doctor #2: We have to surgically remove him out from in front of the candy machine so we can get to the nutty nut bar.
Doctor #1: Of course. Nurse?
Nurse: I'm on it. (wheels Mr Krabs outside the hospital)
(later at the dump)
SpongeBob: (climbing down a rope with Patrick to get inside the gate) Worm bait to the retriever. Worm bait to the
retriever. We're in. Out.
Squidward: Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.
Squidward: No. In. Out.
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.
Squidward: Oh, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?
SpongeBob: Affirmative.
Squidward: Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.
SpongeBob: Affirmative. Out. Oh, that's why he calls himself the retriever.
Patrick: Why are we called worm bait?
SpongeBob: I dunno. (ululating with Patrick. Then both uses pots and pans to make loud noises that draws the guard worm
away)
Squidward: And my perfect plan falls into place. (laughs)
Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?
Patrick: I think I know why our code name is worm bait. (guard worm rushes up and growls at them both until it notices the
wooden spoon in SpongeBob’s hand)
SpongeBob: Nice worm. Good, kind, gentle worm. (worms eyes turn into an image of the wooden spoon)
Patrick: Ohh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob raises the spoon then lowers the spoon as the worms eyes follow where the spoon is) Wow, I think
you're right, Patrick.
Patrick: See if he plays catch.
SpongeBob: Ok, see the stick boy? (throws spoon) Go get it, boy! (worm chases after spoon)
Squidward: Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius. (wooden spoon hits Squidward in the head) Ouch. What the...? Hey, I
needed a wooden spoon. I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket. (places spoon in back pocket) And now for the
mattress. (worm bites Squidward in the butt) I should've guessed. (worm attacks Squidward)
(back at the hospital)
Administrator Flotsam: Excuse me, doctor.
Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?
Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.
Doctor: Yes, yes he is.
Administrator Flotsam: What were you thinking, man? We're trying to run a business. We can't leave patients on the
sidewalk.
Doctor: Not to worry. Nurse!
Nurse: I'm on it. (pushes Mr. Krabs away from the hospital)
(back at the dump)
Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?
SpongeBob: We feel silly.
Squidward: Come on, do it for old man Krabs.
SpongeBob: Ok. (SpongeBob & Patrick jump out of the portable potty in steak costumes) Can you explain the plan again,
Squidward?
Squidward: Sure, but first, put on this cologne.
SpongeBob: (reads label) Steak sauce? (shrugs shoulders and puts the sauces on his body)
Squidward: Ok, so you are dressed as choice cuts. You go in there and yell 'Trick or Treat!'. The worm will realize he
forgot to stock up on Halloween candy, he'll leave to buy some then we take the mattress.
Patrick: Give me that cologne.
Squidward: Now get in there!
SpongeBob: Happy Halloween, Squidward!
Squidward: I am not going to get hurt this time. (hears some rattling in the distance. Its Mr. Krabs on his hospital bed rolling down the street into the dump) Isn't that Mr. Krabs? (screams as Mr. Krabs runs over Squidward, crashes through the gate, runs into a rock causing the bed to flip him over in front of his mattress. Guard worm growls)
Patrick: That guard worm doesn't look very happy.
SpongeBob: Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!
Mr. Krabs: (sniffs around) It's...me money! (guard worm snarls as Mr. Krabs sends the worm into the air and off the mattress)
Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs jumps on his mattress and barks) No, Mr. Krabs, it's us!
Patrick: Trick or treat.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you. Say, why are you two dressed like meat?
SpongeBob: Not just meat, we're choice cuts. Right, Squidward?
Squidward: Oh, I give up. (guard worm lands in Squidward’s arm snarling at him. Squidward runs off as the worm chases him)
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