Episode Transcript: Sing a Song of Patrick

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Episode Article: Sing a Song of Patrick

Characters

SpongeBob
Patrick
Squidward
Coach
Angry Mob

Dialogue

(The first shot shows the whole town of Bikini Bottom. Pan in to show Patrick at a comic store, moved to tears by the comic, causing quite a ruckus.) Patrick: Ah!!! No!!! NO!!! (He stops crying and starts cheering loudly.)
Patrick: Yay!!! Ha Ha!!! Ha Ha!!!
Fish #1: If only "Inaudible Lad" were here right now.
Patrick: Oh.
(He gobbles down the comic book.)
Patrick: Nothing satisfies like a good story.
(SpongeBob walks up to Patrick with a pile of 20-40 comic books. But Patrick can't see SpongeBob.)
SpongeBob: Are you ready to go, Patrick?
Patrick: Ahh! Get back! I wasn't gonna eat all of you!
SpongeBob: Patrick, it's me!
Patrick: Sponge-!!!
(He is cut off by a loud belch. An advertisement from the comic book blows onto SpongeBob's face.)
SpongeBob: What's this?
Patrick: Whatever it is, it's mine! Unless I don't want it. (He looks it over.)
Patrick: Hmm... SpongeBob!!! What do all these words say?
SpongeBob: It's an ad! (Reading) "Dear comic book reader..."
Patrick: That's me!!!
SpongeBob: ..."Have you ever thought about turning one of your poems into a hit song on the radio?"...
Patrick: I've never thought about anything!
SpongeBob: ..."Send in your poem and $100 and we'll make it a hit!" Can we go, now? My arms are getting tired.
Patrick: I wanna send in my poem and everyone would love it, and I would be a star!
SpongeBob: You can't always trust ads in comic books. Those X-Ray specs I ordered couldn't see through people's skin at all. Only their clothes. Plus, you don't have $100.
(His wallet falls out of his back pants pocket, and he struggles to reach for it with his legs.)
SpongeBob: Patrick, could you get my wallet?
(Patrick picks it up.)
Patrick: Hey, look, I just found $100! It's a sign that I should make my hit record!
SpongeBob: Hey, that's my comic book money!
Patrick: It's a sign! A sign that fell from the back of your pants! I've learned to trust signs like that.
SpongeBob: (As Patrick walks away) Patrick!
Comic Book Shopkeeper: Hey, you gonna pay for those comics?
(SpongeBob's arms pop off from the weight of the comics.)
SpongeBob: No. (Cut outside where we see SpongeBob being kicked out of the "Near Mint Comic Books" store.) Can I have my arms back?
(Cut to Patrick standing outside SpongeBob's pineapple house, talking to him.)
Patrick: I wish not to be disturbed, SpongeBob. For I am about to erupt with masterpiece!
SpongeBob: Good luck!
(Patrick leaves and SpongeBob shuts the door. Then, the doorbell rings.)
SpongeBob: Coming!
(Patrick opens the door, crushing SpongeBob behind it.)
Patrick: SpongeBob! Can I borrow a pencil and a piece of paper and a place to work?(cut to other room) Spongebob this pencil won't make words! Spongebob: You have to think of the words yourself. Patrick:I think I wrote a poem once... (cut to flashback)A poem by Patrick Star. Roses are blue, violets are red, I have to go to the Bathroom (swallows paper) Gym teacher: How many times do I have to tell you, this is gym class.(blows whistle)dodge balls.(Patrick gets pelted with Dodge balls) Patrick: Dodge balls.