Episode Transcript: Tea at the Treedome

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Episode Article: Tea at the Treedome

Characters

Dialogue

SpongeBob: Wow, four stingers.
(He then puts away the telescope and puts on some black glasses. Cut to the jellyfish, just hanging out, and SpongeBob floats over besides it with net in hand. Cut to the jellyfish alone, where SpongeBob's foot stretches out from off-screen and then the rest of his body appears. He attempts to grab the jellyfish in his net, but he ends up catching himself in the net. The jellyfish flies away. Just then, SpongeBob hears some struggling noises from off-screen. He arrives at the top of a hill, where he sees a giant clam attempting to eat a squirrel, who is wearing some sort of space suit underwater. SpongeBob gasps as he sees the squirrel struggling to stay her ground)

SpongeBob: Where have I seen this before?

(He then takes out his handy dandy 'Field Guide' and skims through the pages)

SpongeBob: Here it is!

(SpongeBob comes upon a picture of the squirrel)

SpongeBob: Land squirrel! That little squirrel is in trouble.

(cut to the squirrel, who is bashing the squirrel into the ground)

Sandy: Take that, you sorry old clam! Y'all need to learn some manners! You're about as ugly as homemade soup.

SpongeBob: Hooray, land squirrel!

(cut back to Sandy, who is oblivious to the clam resurfacing and jumping right at her. Cut to SpongeBob, who is shock, his glasses shoot up)

SpongeBob: Look out! Hold on, little squirrel!

(he does a karate yell in front of the clam, then does the same while bouncing to different sides. He jumps high in the air, and lands on top of the clam)

SpongeBob: You have fought well, giant clam. Prepare to be vanquished!

(SpongeBob strains)

SpongeBob: Hey, I'm actually doing it!

(SpongeBob strains some more)

(The squirrel holds open the clam's mouth and SpongeBob goes flying face-first into a coral reef.)

SpongeBob: Your shell is mine!

(SpongeBob attempts to grapple with an appendage in the clam's mouth. The clam then slams shut.)

Sandy: Hold on there, little square dude!

(she then gets SpongeBob out and kicks the clam around some more and finally kicks it across the sea. The clam whimpers. The squirrel leans down to see if SpongeBob is OK)

SpongeBob: Hey, you like karate too!

(SpongeBob does a series of karate moves, spins in mid-air, and lands on his head with a splat.)

SpongeBob: So, uh, what's your name?

Sandy: Sandy! So, what do y'all call yourself?

SpongeBob: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm SpongeBob!

Sandy: Well SpongeBob, take a gander at this!

(she walks next to a huge rock and slaps it with her hand, making a gong sound effect. The gong sound effect intensifies and the rock shatters into tiny pebbles.)

SpongeBob: Oh.

(Sandy stands with her hands on her hips and a big, proud smile on her face.)

SpongeBob: Oh yeah? Well, watch this! (he prepares to do a karate move, but all he does is make an armpit fart noise. Sandy walks on screen laughing)

Sandy: I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah!

SpongeBob: Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah! D'oh. Say, what's that thing on your head?

Sandy: Why, that's my air helmet.

SpongeBob: May I try it on?

Sandy: Heck no. I need it to breathe! I gotta have my air.

SpongeBob: Me too! I love air! Air is good.

Sandy: No kidding?

SpongeBob: Why, "air" is my middle name! The more air, the better! Can't get enough of that air.

Sandy: Shee-oot. How about coming over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? (shows a map) You are Here! (Points at "Sandy's House") Don't be late!

SpongeBob: OK, see you tomorrow.

Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air?

Patrick (getting up): Huh?

SpongeBob: I just met this girl. She wears a hat full of...air.

(Patrick takes off his sunglasses)

Patrick: Do you mean she puts on airs?

SpongeBob: I guess so.

Patrick: That's just fancy talk. If you want to be fancy, hold your pinky up like this. The higher you hold it, the fancier you are.

SpongeBob (holding his pinky up): How's that?

Patrick: Higher!

SpongeBob (holding his pinky higher): Like that?

Patrick: Now that's fancy! They should call you SpongeBob Fancypants!

At Sandy's Treedome

Patrick: Remember, when in doubt, pinky out. You can do it,
SpongeBob. I'll be watching.

SpongeBob: Thanks pal.

Sandy: Hello?

SpongeBob: Hi-ya, Sandy. It's me, SpongeBob!

Sandy: Hold on a sec, I'll let you in.

(buzzer sounds as water drains from entryway)

SpongeBob: Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong. There's no water in.....here.

Sandy: 'Course there's no water. Nothing but air.

(SpongeBob waves his hand around and smells this air)

SpongeBob: No water?

Sandy: That ain't a problem, is it? Hi-yah!

SpongeBob: Problem? (laughs) Hi-yah! That's how I like my air! (takes deep breath, then lets out forceful cough) With no water.

Sandy: Well all right. I made Texas tea and cookies. Well, come on in! Hi-yah! (SpongeBob is walking an inch forward and it makes weak squeaking sounds with every step) That's not in. In! (SpongeBob walks another inch with all the squeaking. Sandy runs and gets SpongeBob and takes his hand and runs off) You're a funny little dude.

Come on, I'll give you the grand tour.

(cut to the blazing sun and pan down where Sandy and SpongeBob are standing)

Sandy:This is my own private little air bubble. This air is the driest... (SpongeBob gasps) ..Purest...

Spongebob (while gasping): Maybe...

Sandy: ...most airiest air in the whole sea. Oh, over there's my birdbath.

(cut to the birdbath, where a red robin is splashing and chirping)

Sandy: And there's my oak tree. (SpongeBob seems enticed by the water in the birdbath. He tries to sneak away, but stays until Sandy lets her guard down)

Sandy: It provides me with extra air. This dome is made of the finest polyurethane, that's a fancy word for plastic. Ain't that just the bee's knees? Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither. First, I... (SpongeBob finally escapes and wallows in the birdbath, absorbing all the water. He then jumps back to his original spot, and the bird is quite angry. SpongeBob gets back before Sandy notices) ...that's my treadmill. That's how I stay in tip-top shape. Well, come on. Let's have that tea now. (does in-air karate moves and moves off-screen. SpongeBob gasps. He hears some knocking from outside. It's Patrick, pointing at his pinky)

Patrick: Pinky! Pinky!

(SpongeBob weakly holds up his pinky and gasps again. Cut to him sitting at a picnic bench. He holds up his bouquet)
SpongeBob:I brought you some flowers. (Sandy walks over)

Sandy: For me? How sweet! (Sandy grabs the flowers, which SpongeBob doesn't want to let go. She finally pries them loose and reveals SpongeBob's bony crusty looking hand) You OK?

SpongeBob (raspily): Yes, I'm OK.

Sandy: You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit.

SpongeBob: I can't imagine why.

Sandy: Can I get you anything.

SpongeBob: WATER would be nice.

Sandy: I'm going to put these in a vase.

SpongeBob: Take your time. (he then gasps and stumbles toward the door and struggles to try and open it)

I gotta get out of here! Aaaaahh! (he then thinks)

Sandy: (in SpongeBob's head) I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree! (SpongeBob struggles even more)

Patrick: (in SpongeBob's head) When in doubt, pinky out.
(SpongeBob lifts his pinky. He then gets confidence and victorious music plays)

SpongeBob: I don't need water! Water's for quitters! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it, I don't need it...(he then loses confidence again and the music stops)

Sandy: Why, these flowers are just beautiful! They'll last much, much longer in a glass of ice, cold water. (SpongeBob is totally enticed by the water. Sandy sits down across from him) So tell me about yourself. It must be fascinating being a sea critter.

(SpongeBob watches a drop of water drop down the side of the glass)

Sandy: SpongeBob? (a timer goes off) Oh, there's the cookies. (walks back into the tree) Be right back.

SpongeBob: I don't need it. I don't need it. I definitely don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I don't need it. I NEEEED IT!!! (he shoots up in the air, bounces off the ceiling and holds the glass)

Patrick: No, SpongeBob! No, no, no, stop! Pinky! Pinky! (SpongeBob holds up his pinky while guzzling down the whole glass)

SpongeBob: I'm a quitter! (Spongebob cries out)

(Patrick enters into the dome and slams the door shut)

Patrick: You can't leave now! You'll blow it!

SpongeBob: Air is not good, Patrick! Air is not good!

(Patrick pries him off the door and carries him around)

Patrick: You're just being shy. Don't worry, buddy. You're doing fine. (starts getting weak) I won't let you blow.... this... (he drops SpongeBob and crawls on the floor, panting. He coughs and sputters) What kind of place is this?! (runs toward the door and tries to open it) There's no water in here!

(SpongeBob joins in on the door-opening struggle)

SpongeBob: I tried to tell you!

Patrick: We've got to get out of here!

SpongeBob: You're...doing it...wrong! (the two collapse on each other)

Patrick: Wait, no! We've got...to get...out... (cut to the blaring sun. Sandy walks out of the tree with tea and cookies)

Sandy: Come and get it! You're all gonna like this..(she screams and drops her tray. On the floor is a live-action sponge and starfish.)

(Cut to SpongeBob and Patrick leaning against a ladder with two goldfish helmets on. Sandy, on top of the ladder, uses a hose to fill these helmets with water)

Sandy: There, that ought to do it! If y'all wanted water, you should of asked.

(Sandy carries over a tray with three tea glasses. Everyone takes one)

Sandy: I propose a toast: to new friends!

(she drinks it. SpongeBob and Patrick lift their drinks up and they clink the glasses on the helmets, causing them to spill)

Sandy: Wait, hold on a second. (she places a tea bag in each helmet, allowing the two to drink the tea water.)

I hope you like your tea strong. Drink up!

(Patrick nudges SpongeBob and they both put their pinky up. The three drink up again and give a heartfelt sigh)

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