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Episode Transcript: The Inmates of Summer
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Episode Article: The Inmates of Summer
Characters
Dialogue
(Open at a location which a sign identifies as the Bikini Bottom Dock & Shipyard, where some children are about to go on a trip to somewhere. We then see these children in colorful uniforms waiting in line for a boat. SpongeBob is seen in the uniform, but has piles of luggage. SpongeBob touches his stuff twice gently, and both times let out a small ding of clean-ness. He then claps his hands like he's playing the cymbals, to get rid of the dirt. We then hear a familiar voice:)
Patrick: SpongeBob! (He's running to the dock for SpongeBob.) SpongeBob! (He then falls into the water, and tries to get out, while talking underwater. We then see three of the children fish looking down at him. Patrick then climbs onto the deck where SpongeBob is, and gets up. He's now in front of SpongeBob.) SpongeBob! You forgot to tell me you're leaving! (They both start to have water in their eyes, then very crying-like mouths.)
SpongeBob: Well Patrick, I guess... (Both wobbling in sadness.) ...this is... (Both then hug each other and both start to cry as if they're making a river of tears.)
Patrick: I'm gonna miss you, buddy!
SpongeBob: Me too, Patrick, me too! (In the background, we can start to hear happy music and some marching. We then see what the boat is, and we see the children singing:)
Sun Fun Island, it's so fun
Sun Fun Island, here we come
Sun Fun Island, it's so fun
Sun Fun Island, we can't wait...
(The sign says, "Camp Sun-N-Fun or Bust". Cries of joy can be heard. Confetti starts falling, while SpongeBob and Patrick are still crying. The children can still be heard singing along to the song as the boat leaves. Another boat comes up, but it's metal-plated, and doesn't look too friendly. We then see people wearing black-and-white striped hats and overalls wearing handcuffs, marching to the boat. They look like prisoners. The boat is shown to contain wires with pointed blades on them at the top, and barred windows. At the entrance, we see a warden looking out. SpongeBob and Patrick are still crying. They then suddenly give in, and stop crying.)
SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick, if I had only known how hard not saying goodbye could be... (SpongeBob then gets an idea, and we hear the idea bell. SpongeBob yells like he got an idea. He then starts stuttering on how good the idea is.)
Patrick: Well, see you later, bud. (SpongeBob grabs him and interrupts.)
SpongeBob: Patrick, that's it! You can come with me to summer camp! Then I'd never have to say goodbye!
Patrick: Summer camp? But I'm not even ready yet!
SpongeBob: (after a pause) How about now?
Patrick: Yep! (Bubble-wipe to the entrance to the scary boat with the Warden in front of it)
SpongeBob: (to the Warden) ...this stuff is just my carry-on, porter. (We see them smiling, with SpongeBob carrying 2 purses, and Patrick holding a wooden suitcase shaped like a coffin.) The rest of my things are right over there. (SpongeBob points to where they are, and the Warden gets angry, and starts growling. SpongeBob tosses his stuff to the Warden, and runs in. Patrick does the same.
Patrick: Weee! Haha!
SpongeBob: Oh, and porter... thanks! (He tosses a quarter to the Warden. The Warden gets so angry, he burns a hole through the coffin-shaped suitcase. He starts to move his eyes in a swift manner, and tosses all the carry-ons into the water. He goes in, locks the door with metal bars and pointy ends, and leaves with the stuff on the dock. We then see fog everywhere. We see SpongeBob, up close, looking out on the barred window. The camera zooms out, and we see the boat SpongeBob was supposed to be on, with the children still singing)
SpongeBob: Boy, that looked like a boring boat to be on, huh, guys? (He looks back in the boat, and we see the prisoners. SpongeBob is smiling, but the prisoners are not. They're sitting there, on benches in the middle of the room, with annoyed-mean expression on their face. A light bulb is swinging around in the background.) Guys? (We then see lightning strikes, and we see their destination: a small island, filled with rocky, pointy-edged, rocks that seem would kill you if you touched it. There's a fort in the middle, with barbed wire at the top, and an open room in the middle. They're all standing there in a corner. We zoom in there, and the door slams open. We see the warden go in, and as he comes in, we hear his footsteps, and see the prisons watch in silence, with sweat on their face. We then see the warden's boots walking towards them. We get a close up of the people, and see all but SpongeBob and Patrick are having that same look. SpongeBob and Patrick have their mouths shaped like an "o", with them looking at the Warden in amazement. We then see a close-up of the Warden's face, and he has a tense expression on his face.)
Warden: Welcome to Inferno Island! (SpongeBob and Patrick cheer with joy, with clown horns going off.) What in the seven seas just assaulted my eardrums? Could that had been an unrequested sound-off? Well, it must have been my imagination! And you can all thank your lucky stars that... (He gets in their faces) ...I have a very active imagination! Because it so happens that it is my sworn duty to think of fun things to do with the trash that society has thrown away!
SpongeBob: (Whispering to Patrick) I always prefer to recycle. (Everyone starts to snicker, except the Warden. We hear a whistle, and then we pan up to SpongeBob and Patrick.)
Warden: Holy fishpaste! We got ourselves a couple of rabble rousers. What's your name, son?
SpongeBob: (Very happily) SpongeBob SquarePants!
Warden: And are you a rabble rouser?
SpongeBob: (Chuckles for a second) Funny you should ask. Once I had...
Warden: Well I hope you aren't, because you sure look mighty tasty. And it's too soon after breakfast for me to want to chew somebody's head off!
Patrick: (Whispers to SpongeBob) Actually, I am a little hungry.
Warden: Hungry?! Barney, fetch these two poor hungry souls a snack. On the double! (Barney then comes back and throws tires in front of them. SpongeBob and Patrick look at the tires, and we hear bicycle horns going off. We then see the Warden and Barney staring back in awe, and we hear SpongeBob and Patrick eat the tires. Some prisoners stare back in awe.)
Prisoner #1: Ohh. These guys are tough! (We then see SpongeBob and Patrick with full bellies.)
Patrick: The food coma is setting in.
SpongeBob: Yeah. I could use a nap. (The Warden comes up quickly, and startles them.)
Warden: Did you say a nap?! Well, I know the perfect place for you two to go digest that meal. (SpongeBob and Patrick smile in delight. Bubble-wipe to see them both in a hole in the ground that's shaped like a cube, and with a barred window-like door at the top.) A couple days in the hole never hurt anybody. (The door closes, and we go to SpongeBob and Patrick. We see SpongeBob laying on a skeleton.)
SpongeBob: This camp is very upscale! (We then see 3 prisoners carrying a metal tub labeled "chum" on it. At the top, some chum is seen dripping out. We then see the contents of this particular tub of chum contains a bone, shoe, and an eyeball in it. The prisoners then dump it into the hole.)
Patrick: I had no idea they had a hot tub!
(Title card and Narrator: "Three days later")
Warden: Alright! Let them out! (Another guard looking like Barney, who's alongside him, opens the door. The warden looks at the prisoners.) Now pay attention, worms. Watch the way they crawl out on their bellies, begging for mercy, and see what's waiting for you, next time you foul up the same way these two did! (The warden looks at them, only to see SpongeBob and Patrick with their bodies all chunky. SpongeBob's head is like a boxed bubble, and Patrick is all chubby.)
SpongeBob: It was quite an enjoyable soak. That is, until this guy (points to Patrick) got thirsty and decided to drink the bath water!
Patrick: Not bad! Except for this aftertaste. (Patrick's breath reaches its way to the warden who smells it. His eyes get big in disgust. The prisoners also cough, because it smells so bad.)
Warden: Shut your traps, all of ya! Because of that little outburst, I am going to treat you all to an activity so heart-wrenchingly boring and physically exhausting, that it is guaranteed to render your souls broken beyond repair!
SpongeBob & Patrick: YAY! (Bubble-wipe to a mine, where the prisoners are mining the rocks. They all look bored, except for SpongeBob and Patrick.)
SpongeBob: This is a pretty fun camp game, huh Patrick?
Patrick: Yeah!
SpongeBob: It's made even more fun and challenging by the fact that we're wearing these heavy ankle weights. (Cut to a view of Inferno Island, where we see it's storming even worse. We then go to the bunks to see SpongeBob in "bed".)
Warden: (In background) Good night, ladies! (We then hear the prisoners making complaints ranging from "My corns won't stop ringing" to "I miss my rubber ducky". Then SpongeBob pats his pillow, grabs it, and notices that it's made out of paper. SpongeBob gets on the side of his bed and sighs.)
Patrick: (From the bottom bunk) What's wrong, SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: The other campers just aren't having as much fun as you and me.
Patrick: If only we could think of some sort of group activity that we can all do together. Then we would all be having the same amount of fun as each other. (Patrick rolls to his right, and we hear sliding.) Good night! (We then hear the usual idea noise, and a light bulb appears above SpongeBob's head.)
SpongeBob: That's it! We'll show him we can be self-starters! (Bubble-wipe. We see SpongeBob at a desk, typing on a typewriter, with a lamp on. The clock says 9:00pm. SpongeBob is shown from the typewriter's point of view, with mounds of typed papers, pushing the typewriter keys one by one, with one finger each. The clock then says 7:30am. SpongeBob goes in front of the door labeled "Warden", with his pile of papers in front of him. SpongeBob then slides each paper under the door, one by one, until the whole thing is inside. Then we go to the bunks, and we hear the warden blow his whistle.)
Warden: Rise and shine! (Everyone gets in two straight lines in front of the warden.) Now, which one of you vile, low-down, foul, miserable, wretched swine left this (Shows the papers SpongeBob left in his office) pathetic, worthless, horrid, meaningless... (Breathes deeply.)
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob then raises his right arm, and points with one finger up.) Uh... abomination?
Warden: (Looks behind him) Who said that?
SpongeBob: Me, sir! (Holds up his right arm, while being perky.)
Warden: (Shows the papers) What is the meaning of this thing?
SpongeBob: It's a play, for our amusement and inspiration! (Warden backs up in shock, and then ponders.)
Warden: Hmmmm... of course. Well then, I'll watch your play, and I will enjoy every act of your pathetic, meaningless, ridiculous production. (Turns to his assistant [the same one who released SpongeBob and Patrick from the hole earlier]) You know why?
Assistant: Uhh...because you cherish the fine art of thespianism?
Warden: NO! (Back to SpongeBob) Because it'll be the last act you'll ever perform in your pathetic lives! So, get to it! And I'd better be truly entertained!
SpongeBob: Cool! (Bubble-wipe to see SpongeBob and Patrick working on building a steam-powered boat, while the prisoners are mining.)
Prisoner #3: Kid's wasting his time. (Stops, and notices the boat.)
SpongeBob: All done! (We zoom out, and see that it really is an actual boat.)
Prisoner #3: You thinkin’ what I'm thinkin’?
Prisoner #4: Hmmmmm...
Prisoner #3: It's a boat, you simpleton! What do boats do?
Prisoner #4: Duh... make smoke?
Prisoner #3: NO! (He slaps #4.) Knucklehead! They float, away from this island, with all of us on board! (All of the prisoners huddle up.) Now, here's the plan... (They whisper in a conference. They then turn to the boat.) Hey, buddy! You need some help?
SpongeBob: Really?
Prisoner #3: Sure!
French Narrator: Opening night... (cut back to Inferno Island. An actual red curtain and stage lights are situated at the dock. We see 3 chairs in the front of it. The Warden and two of the guards all sit down. One of the guards is holding popcorn and the Warden is holding a program that's labeled, "Play Bill". The curtain then rises, and we see SpongeBob looking through a telescope)
SpongeBob: Aye, four jibs-men, what forces blow the merry winds of Galilee?
Prisoner #3: (The prisoners are now seen behind the curtains.) Get ready!
Prisoner #4: Huh? Oh. (The others suddenly become happy as music starts.)
Music: Together
Prisoner:
'Tis we,
Prisoners:
here to sing a song of maritime com-rah-der-ree.
Together! (Patrick plays a wild solo on an electric guitar.)
Together!
Prisoners & SpongeBob:
Together! (Patrick is playing an electric drum set.)
Together! (Patrick strikes a chord on a synthesizer.)
Together! (Lights turn on around the stage, astounding the Warden. As the next scenes play, he becomes increasingly emotional.)
Prisoners, SpongeBob & Patrick:
Together! Together! To-geth-er.
Prisoner:
Like a boat, upon the sea!
Prisoner Chorus:
Together! (They pull the anchor out of the water.)
Another Prisoner Chorus:
In happy camaraderie! (They free the boat from its port.)
Third Prisoner Chorus:
Together! (They are at the steering wheel.)
That's the way, it ought to be!
Fourth Prisoner Chorus:
Together! (They shove coals into the boiler.)
Prisoner:
Just you,
2 Prisoners:
and you,
3 Prisoners:
and you,
4 Prisoners:
and you
Prisoners:
and me!
Together!
Prisoners, SpongeBob & Patrick:
Togeeeetttthhhher! TOGETHER!
(Curtain goes down, and the show ends. The Warden and his guards clap and scream with joy. One of them throw roses at the stage. The Warden starts to cry.)
Warden: I-I-I've never seen anything so beautiful in my... (Breaks down and hugs the guards)
Prisoner #3: OK, let's do it! (They start to sail away.)
SpongeBob: Um... Hey guys, what are you doing? (The boat stops.)
Prisoner #3: We're breaking out of here, that's what! Escaping! Oh, um... thanks for the convincing stage craft! (The boat resumes sailing away. Back to the Warden and the guards still clapping.)
Warden: Encore! Encore! Encore! Do it again! (Curtain rises, revealing that the boat is gone and that SpongeBob and Patrick are standing there all by themselves. The warden notices the escaping prisoners.) What the?! (Seeing that the warden has spotted them, the prisoners try to row faster. But the boat starts to sink, as they attempt to do so.)
Prisoner #3: Turn this ship around! (They attempt to turn around, only to notice that the boat isn't complete, as it only had one side. The boat capsizes into the water, and the prisoners emerge from it, shouting indistinctly that they can't swim. SpongeBob and Patrick bow.)
(Bubble-wipe to see the prisoners standing in line, all wet. The Warden is walking back and forth.)
Warden: I'm stumped. I can't even begin to imagine a punishment appropriate for what has happened here tonight! Words cannot attempt to describe the disgusting, vile, th-th-the complete disregard for the storied tradition of musical theatre. So, starting this very moment, every one of you sub-protozoas will be sentenced to... (Suddenly, a voice yelling "Ahoy!" is heard. The Warden turns around and sees someone through his telescope.)
Camp Counselor: Hello? Yoo-hoo?
Warden: What in the name of... (The Camp Counselor goes up on the deck, raft and all, and attempts to catch his breath after swimming hard.) For Neptune's sake, man, speak the King's English.
Camp Counselor: I'm... I'm Camp Counselor Kraus from Sun Fun Island!
Warden: You're who, what?
Camp Counselor: Well, I was doing roll call and discovered one of my Sun-funners was missing! I came to take him back with me. A SpongeBob, uh, SquarePants? (Seeing a chance, the prisoners all claim to be SpongeBob.)
Warden: ENOUGH! So tell me, Counselor, just what do they do on your Sunny Funny Island?
Camp Counselor: Well, we, uh... make macaroni art...
Warden: Egad.
Camp Counselor: And we sing campfire songs!
Warden: Ahck!
Camp Counselor: Oh, and we help and support each other. (Warden's head explodes with scary thoughts.)
Warden: STOP! These heinous activities sound like torture too severe for even the lowest, filthiest, undeserving... (He gets an idea.) Wait a minute! I have a brilliant idea! (Cut to another campsite. We see glue and macaroni being placed on a paper plate. The prisoners express grunts of disapproval to what they're being forced to do. Cut to Prisoner #4, who has made a smiley face out of the paper plate.)
Camp Counselor: (To Prisoner #4) Oh, that is very good, Bruiser! (We see others complaining and crying. SpongeBob and Patrick sigh.)
SpongeBob: Patrick?
Patrick: (simultaneously) SpongeBob?
SpongeBob: You first.
Patrick: (sighs) I... I liked the other island better!
SpongeBob: Me too! (both start crying uncontrollably)
