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Episode Transcript: Sand Castles in the Sand
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Episode Article: Sand Castles in the Sand
Characters
Locations
Diolague
(Spongebob goes out of his house and knocks on Patrick's rock.)
Spongebob: Get up Patrick, it's time.
(The rock opens when Patrick wakes up from his sleep)
Patrick: Time for what?
(Spongebob jumps into Patrick's house)
Spongebob: The big shindig, remember?
Patrick: No. Besides, I don't really think my shins should be involved. (wiggling his foot) They're a bit flabby today.
Spongebob: That's shindig, buddy. We're spending at the beach in honor of our best friendship.
Patrick: The beach? Just you and me?
(Spongebob rips his pants and his beach pants shows. Then Patrick tears off his skin, revealing his internal organs)
Patrick: So am I ready for the beach, Spongebob?
Spongebob: Oh, sure. A little sunscreen will be fine.
(A bus stops. Spongebob and Patrick lift a huge bag into the bus' door.)
Spongebob: I'm spending at the beach the whole day with my best friend.
(Spongebob puts the huge bag on a chair beside a fish. Spongebob and Patrick sit on the chair but the fish is umcormfortable.)
Fish #1: You're hurting me!
(The bus moves. Spongebob talks to Harold.)
Spongebob: Guess what?
Harold: (worried) What?
Spongebob: (shouting) I'M GOING TO THE BEACH WITH MY BEST FRIEND!!! (Then, he taps on the shoulder of the bus driver.)
Spongebob: Oh, bus driver....
Bus driver: (crankily) What?!
Spongebob: Okay. Everyone in this bus. Guess which one is my best friend.
Bus driver: I don't care!
SpongeBob: You know what this situation calls for? (brings out a guitar while Patrick brings out an accordian) A few verses of "The Best Friend Tune!" (singing) Best friends-
(The bus stops. Spongebob and Patrick fall down from the bus. The bus moves from them.)
Spongebob: Hey, wait! This is not our stop! Oh, how we gonna get to the beach now, Patrick. We didn't know where we are.
Patrick: I know it. We've been abandoned!
Spongebob: No!(They start crying) No, Patrick. I don't want to stuck here.
(A ball hits Spongebob's head)
Scooter: Little help, bro?
Spongebob: Look, Patrick. We made it. Hey, best friend..check this out.(Spongebob shows his butt but there's a hip on it. Spongebob takes a plastic disc from his butt.) It's a small plastic disc that you throw.
Patrick: Small plastic disc that you throw?! I love playing small plastic disc that you throw.
Spongebob: I do to, buddy. If only small plastic disc that you throw have a shorter catchier name.
Patrick: Oh. Oh! How about,small plastic disc that you "toss"
Spongebob: Perfect! Run along Patrick and I'll "toss" it to ya! (Patrick runs and Spongebob throws the plastic disc) Ready?
(Patrick keeps running catching the plastic disc until he didn't realise that he step on two fish.)
Fish #2 and Fish #3: Ouch!!
(Patrick steps in the sand but the sand spread to someone's sandwich)
Nat: Ha, ha! Now thats why they call a "sand"wi..(Patrick spreads into Nat's mouth)
(Patrick keeps running to chase the plastic disc but he didn't realise that he almost hit two fishes lifting a mirror, but he destroys an ice-cream parlor and the life guard tower. When the life guard tower is destroyed, he got the plastic disc.)
Patrick: I got it! Wasn't that cool, Spongebob?
Life Guard: I can assure you that was not cool. Just look at what you've done. Your buffoonery has destroyed the whole life guard tower! Why don't you find something that is less abnoxious?
Patrick: Like what?
Life guard: I don't know. Go play in the sand or something.
Patrick: I don't know. Playing with the sand sounds pretty boring.
Spongebob: Nonsense, Patrick. There are plenty of fun things to do in the sand. We can draw or practice our cursive writing or-
Patrick: Boring, Spongebob, boring.
Spongebob: I know, we can made sandcastles.
Patrick: That's sounds unboring.(Patrick hits his arm to Spongebob.)
Spongebob: No one's ever annoyed by a sand castle. (laughs)
Spongebob: Nothing quite like to joy of sandcastling.(He is building a sandcastle. He talks to a fish that fish he made on the window) Ain't that right, buddy. How you doing over there?
Patrick: Everything's dandy in Patrick's Kingdom.(He starts building a "sandcastle". Then stopped when Spongebob talks.)
Spongebob: Oh, a structure like that will not protect the king and the subjects. Here let me help you. First, you should start all over. (starts building sandcastle but stops when Parick talks)
Patrick: What are you doing? You're destroying my castle.
Spongebob: I'm just trying to help, buddy.
Patrick: I don't need any help.
(A fish came)
Billy: For the architect your pleasure with questions.
Patrick: Why, thank you. Here's a little something for you. (Patrick gives sand money to Billy. But the sand breaks.)
Spongebob: I suppose I'll just attend affairs with my own briem. And I'll start making a queen to rule by your side. (A sandball destroys the castle)
Patrick: Now, we're even.
Spongebob: All, right Patrick. Have it your way.(He make a line between Patrick's and his) You keep to your territory and I'll keep mine.(He builds his sandcastle fast)
(Patrick looks at his blueprints and throws it away)
Patrick: This will show Spongebob he's not the only one who can build a castle. (He builds his sandcastle fast.) Let see Spongebob destroy this castle.
Spongebob: I'd better build a wall just in case King "Pinky" get any funny ideas.(He builds the wall fast and realized that Patrick's castle is more in the line.) Oh, sir. You build it on my side.
Patrick: So?
Spongebob: So you don't do that! (He cuts Patrick's castle according the line) There. That restrores the enterpity of our share borders.
Patrick: You tirent! You do it again! (He takes a sandball and makes it a small hammer) I'll show you what for.
Spongebob: But for what?
(Patrick run pass through the line and destroys Spongebob's castle using the hammer.)
Patrick: Now we're even. Again!
Spongebob: Okay, Patrick. I can except that. No more destruction point moving forward, okay? Okay, back to the square one again. (He go back make a huge sandcastle like a real castle. He looks at Patrick building a sand castle using a telescope. Patrick finishes his castle.)
Patrick: Ah-ha! (He stand on the top of his huge sandcastle with many pointy arrows.)
(Spongebob plays a sand trumpet)
Spongebob: I hereby purpose announce an treaty hostility between our two kingdoms.(He gives Patrick a sand feather and a sand border to sign. Patrick signs it.) Patrick. By signing this historic armastice, you have brought peace on our land. May your kingdom prosper.(He walks into his door) That went well.(An arrow hits his wall) What are you doing? What about the treaty?
Patrick: This treaty is the sand is printed on. (The sandboard disinigrates)
Spongebob: Oh, is that so? Well you think you can take down this castle, my answer is: Bring it on!
(Patrick laughs. He builds a new horse and knight army and Spongebob shocks.)
Spongebob: (coughs) Patrick, I'm trying to be the nice guy here. Let's call the silly business off.
Patrick: No way! You started it!
Spongebob: Fine! Have it your way. (He walks away. He gets ready to cut a rope on his catapult releasing sand boulders.)
Patrick: No, no, no, no.
(Spongebob cuts the rope and the rocks destroys the horse and knight army while Patick run into his castle. Spongebob laughs and play his sand horn to call his man-alive army. His four army run towards Patrick's castle. His armies try to get into the castle while Patrick is building something. His armies success to get in but Patrick already makes a sand cannon.)
Patrick: Oh, hello. And goodbye. (The sandball from the cannon chases Spongebob's armies. They get through into his castle.)
Spongebob: Come on! (the rock stops and looks both ways) How do you like them apples? (The rock goes over into the castle and destroys the armies like bowling pins.)
Patrick: (laughing) You'll never win! Do you hear me?
(Spongebob puts his thumb on a scanner, entering a high-tech planning room in his castle. Then he talks to a sand general)
Spongebob: Uhm. Uhm. Well good, general. We'll create a suprise military diversion break enemy lines. What say you? (Half of jeneral's head disappears) Yes! We shall ready our ship immediently. (He makes something from sand. A tank smashes through Spongebob's castle.) How do you like me now?
(A robot like optimus prime smash out from Patrick's castle.)
Patrick: I like you this much! (The robot walks towards Spongebob's tank and lifts up.)
Spongebob: No!
Patrick: Feel me! (His robot tries to punch the tank. But Spongebob manages to blast his tank cannon to the robots head. The robot explodes. Spongebob goes out from his tank and go into the robot's head)
Spongebob: Patrick? Patrick, are you okay?!
Patrick: Question is: Will you be? (Patrick punches a button and the robot head flies while Spongebob hangs on the head. Spongebob falls from the robot head.)
Spongebob: (screams and pulls out his sand parachute and he laughs.)
Patrick: Hey, no fair!
Spongebob: All fair is love in war my friend slash enemy. Or should I say my friendenemy.(He pushes a button on a remote. He safely lands on his sand jet and jet chases the robot head. The jet targets) Let's have some real fun! (He pushes button and the rocket shoots towards Patrick's head robot. Patrick tries to avoid the rocket but it's still following it.)
Scooter: What was that? Come on, we gotta get out of here.(He takes his girlfriend and everybody at the beach runs from the beach.)
Patrick: Oh,yeah? Well, two can play with this game.(He pushes a button. A rocket comes out from the sand, flies and destroys the rocket. The rockets flies towards the jet. Spongebob tries to attract the rockets to destroy Patrick's castle. Spongebob laughs.)
Patrick: I wasn't gonna do this but you left me no choice.(The robot head drops an atomic bomb on Spongebob's castle)
Griffin #1: (scream)
Griffin #2: Let's fly, dude! (he flies away with Griffin #1)
(Patrick laughs and Spongebob's jet flies toward the robot head. Then, the jet and the robot head explodes. Spongebob and Patrick hurt hard.)
Patrick: Uhh, what happened?
Spongebob: I'll tell you what happened, Patrick. I got carried away.
Patrick: Me too. Was it worth it?
Spongebob: No! No it wasn't. What started out as a fun dream turned into a horrible brutal nightmare. If the winds of time change the silvering sand to duece into a new landscape. So let us hope the wind of change to our spirits to deuce to a landscape of peace. Oh, buddy. Let's never forget this lesson. (They hug each other.)
Life guard: Let's also not forget who's gonna clean this place up?
Spongebo and Patrick: (disgusted noises)
Life guard: (shows SpongeBob and Patrick a broom and a dustpan.) Better get started. (SpongeBob grabs the broom while Patrick grabs the dustpan.) You've got a lot of work to do.
Patrick: (looks at SpongeBob, looking at Patrick as he smiles.) Bet I can clean up faster than you!
Spongebob: Oh, yeah? Bet chu can't!
Patrick: (sweeps the sand with his hand) Yes, I can!
Spongebob: (sweeps the sand with his broom) No, I can!
(Spongebob and Patrick fight until the episode ends)
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