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Episode Transcript: New Digs
| Line 16: | Line 16: | ||
*[[Gary]] | *[[Gary]] | ||
*[[Mr. Krabs]] | *[[Mr. Krabs]] | ||
| − | *[[Father | + | *[[Father SquarePants]] |
*[[Mother SquarePants]] | *[[Mother SquarePants]] | ||
*Customers | *Customers | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Got to hurry, Gary. The sooner I get to bed, the sooner I'll get to sleep, and the sooner I get to sleep, the sooner I'll wake up, and the sooner I wake up, ooh ho-ho! The sooner I get to go to work at the best job in the whole world: The Krusty Krab! Now, to just put on these sleepy time blinders, before I run excitedly to bed. (trips over a treasure chest. Gary slithers past him and onto his newspaper. SpongeBob finally gets into bed) Well, good night, Gar.<br> | |
Gary: Meow.<br> | Gary: Meow.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I'm just going to turn out the lights. (does so) Clickety poo. And close my eyes and go to sleep. (SpongeBob | |
lays in bed awake while Gary is snoring) Just close my eyes and go to sleep. (grunts trying to close his eyes but can't) | lays in bed awake while Gary is snoring) Just close my eyes and go to sleep. (grunts trying to close his eyes but can't) | ||
Maybe if I run around it'll tire me out. (runs around the room then jumps on the bed but breaks it) Oh, I just got to get | Maybe if I run around it'll tire me out. (runs around the room then jumps on the bed but breaks it) Oh, I just got to get | ||
| − | some sleep! (stand on his head on the floor) There's only one thing for this. (cut to | + | some sleep! (stand on his head on the floor) There's only one thing for this. (cut to SpongeBob holding a glass of milk) |
Ah, that's the stuff. A glass of warm snail milk. (drinks it then throws the glass away. Cannot go to sleep yet) Ah, why | Ah, that's the stuff. A glass of warm snail milk. (drinks it then throws the glass away. Cannot go to sleep yet) Ah, why | ||
isn't it working? (falls face first on the ground and goes to sleep. Gary crawls over him. Cut to morning when the clam | isn't it working? (falls face first on the ground and goes to sleep. Gary crawls over him. Cut to morning when the clam | ||
| − | wakes everyone up. | + | wakes everyone up. SpongeBob wakes up with drool all over his mouth) Whoa, Gary, what happened? (remembers what time it is |
and crashes through his front door with all his clothes on except for his left show, which is still in his home) Help, I'm | and crashes through his front door with all his clothes on except for his left show, which is still in his home) Help, I'm | ||
late for work! (checks his pocket watch) Oh, my gosh, only twenty seconds to go! What the...? (sees the bridge ahead is | late for work! (checks his pocket watch) Oh, my gosh, only twenty seconds to go! What the...? (sees the bridge ahead is | ||
out) Bridge out? (jumps over the gap and continues to run then gasps again after he sees a hopscotch board on the ground | out) Bridge out? (jumps over the gap and continues to run then gasps again after he sees a hopscotch board on the ground | ||
| − | where three girls are) Hopscotch! (plays a game of hopscotch perfectly. The three little girls cheer as | + | where three girls are) Hopscotch! (plays a game of hopscotch perfectly. The three little girls cheer as SpongeBob |
continues to run) Almost there. (runs in the Krusty Krab and jumps at the time clock with his time slip in hand. The clock | continues to run) Almost there. (runs in the Krusty Krab and jumps at the time clock with his time slip in hand. The clock | ||
| − | turns to 9:01) No!! I'm late. What's Mr Krabs going to say? (Mr Krabs is cleaning the door. | + | turns to 9:01) No!! I'm late. What's Mr. Krabs going to say? (Mr. Krabs is cleaning the door. SpongeBob runs into the |
| − | kitchen) Tardy Pants! You, sir, are a tardy pants! Wait till Mr Krabs finds out. You better think of something to save | + | kitchen) Tardy Pants! You, sir, are a tardy pants! Wait till Mr. Krabs finds out. You better think of something to save |
your job.<br> | your job.<br> | ||
Squidward: One Krabby Patty and Krabby Fries for table four.<br> | Squidward: One Krabby Patty and Krabby Fries for table four.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Order up! (runs to the table) Here you go, sir. One Krabby Patty, Krabby Fries, and Krabby drink in three | |
seconds flat. (smiles at Mr Krabs as he leaps into the kitchen. Customer spills her drink)<br> | seconds flat. (smiles at Mr Krabs as he leaps into the kitchen. Customer spills her drink)<br> | ||
Squidward: Spill at table...<br> | Squidward: Spill at table...<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: I'm on it. (mopping spill) Nothing a dedicated, on-time employee can't handle. (mops the kids head) Kiddies get | |
a free touch-up. (leaps into the kitchen) Ta-da! All done.<br> | a free touch-up. (leaps into the kitchen) Ta-da! All done.<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: Hey, | + | Mr. Krabs: Hey, SpongeBob.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (jumps at Mr. Krabs' feet) No! Please don't throw me out into the street. I am so sorry for what I did.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: What'd you do?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: What'd you do?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I was a minute late for work.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: A minute late?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: A minute late?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: A whole sixty seconds.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: Well, uh, don't do it again.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Well, uh, don't do it again.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: No, no! You have to punish me.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: What? Okay, uh, then wipe down the salad bar.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: What? Okay, uh, then wipe down the salad bar.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Aye aye, sir.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: (walks out of the Krusty Krab) And good night.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: (walks out of the Krusty Krab) And good night.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: I love it here, Mr. Krabs.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sheesh.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sheesh.<br> |
| − | Squidward: If you love it so much, why don't you just live here? (chuckling. Cut to | + | Squidward: If you love it so much, why don't you just live here? (chuckling. Cut to SpongeBob straining to get his feet |
through a cardboard box he's going to sleep in. He gets his feet through the box and uses napkins as a blanket)<br> | through a cardboard box he's going to sleep in. He gets his feet through the box and uses napkins as a blanket)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Somethin's not right. What is it? Do I miss my own clock? Maybe it's my own bed. (snaps fingers) Oh, that's it. | |
I'll make the Krusty Krab just like home. What do you say Gary? (Gary is a toilet paper roll with cucumbers for eyes. Cut | I'll make the Krusty Krab just like home. What do you say Gary? (Gary is a toilet paper roll with cucumbers for eyes. Cut | ||
| − | to next day where Mr Krabs enters the Krusty Krab and sees | + | to next day where Mr Krabs enters the Krusty Krab and sees SpongeBob sleeping in his bed in the dining area)<br> |
| − | Mr Krabs: | + | Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? What in Neptune's Navy is going on here?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: SpongeBob reporting for duty, sir.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: How long you been here?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: How long you been here?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: All night, sir.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: All night?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: All night?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: That's right, I'm going to live here from now on, so I'll never ever be tardy pants again.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: Hold on! This ain't no hotel, son.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Hold on! This ain't no hotel, son.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (gets out a stack of cash from his pocket) Here's my first month's rent.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: rent? Okay. Well, let's get ready for the customers. Start scrubbing the grill...<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: rent? Okay. Well, let's get ready for the customers. Start scrubbing the grill...<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Already done, sir. (grill is spotless)<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: Well, start cooking some...<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Well, start cooking some...<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Done. (a bunch of krabby patties are in the kitchen ready for serving. SpongeBob punches his time card) All | |
that, before we even open up our doors, sir.<br> | that, before we even open up our doors, sir.<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: Okay. Then get cleaned up. You're a mess.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Okay. Then get cleaned up. You're a mess.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Eww, I guess I could use some freshening up. (ketchup and mustard stains are all over his clothes. Cut to | |
Squidward putting a bucket of dishes on the conveyor belt but the dishwasher stops)<br> | Squidward putting a bucket of dishes on the conveyor belt but the dishwasher stops)<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: Jammed again. (reaches inside to fix it but pokes | + | Squidward: Jammed again. (reaches inside to fix it but pokes SpongeBob)<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Ooh. Hi, Squidward.<br> | |
| − | Squidward: | + | Squidward: SpongeBob? What are you doing here?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh, I live here now.<br> | |
Squidward: In the dishwasher?<br> | Squidward: In the dishwasher?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: No, at the Krusty Krab. Now, if you'll excuse me.<br> | |
| − | Squidward: | + | Squidward: SpongeBob living at the Krusty Krab? Wait a minute, if he's living here, that means he won't be living next to |
| − | me. Oh. (imagines falling in a pile of flowers but it's really pots and pans. Mr Krabs is seeing Squidward making an angel | + | me. Oh. (imagines falling in a pile of flowers but it's really pots and pans. Mr. Krabs is seeing Squidward making an angel |
on the floor)<br> | on the floor)<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: Must be a full moon. (cut to closing time) Mr Squidward?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Must be a full moon. (cut to closing time) Mr. Squidward?<br> |
| − | Squidward: Just saying goodnight to | + | Squidward: Just saying goodnight to SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs. Sweet dreams, SpongeBob. You look much more comfier in here than |
in your old home.<br> | in your old home.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Won't you miss me living next door, Squidward?<br> | |
Squidward: (laughing) No. Coming Eugene. (cheers as he walks out the Krusty Krab) Good night's sleep, here I come. (cut to | Squidward: (laughing) No. Coming Eugene. (cheers as he walks out the Krusty Krab) Good night's sleep, here I come. (cut to | ||
| Line 152: | Line 152: | ||
Customer: Yeah, thanks... (gasps) Oh, real funny, buddy. Two socks and a pair of tighty whities.<br> | Customer: Yeah, thanks... (gasps) Oh, real funny, buddy. Two socks and a pair of tighty whities.<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: Socks and... (gasps. socks and underwear are in the register instead of money) What the...? | + | Squidward: Socks and... (gasps. socks and underwear are in the register instead of money) What the...? SpongeBob, why is your underwear in the cash register?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Well, I had to put them somewhere and my underwear drawer is all filled up with krabby patties and the freezer | |
is filled up with my snowflake collection. (blocks of snowfalkes are in the freezer) So I put the cash from the cash | is filled up with my snowflake collection. (blocks of snowfalkes are in the freezer) So I put the cash from the cash | ||
register in the pickle jar.<br> | register in the pickle jar.<br> | ||
| − | Squidward:What?<br> | + | Squidward: What?<br> |
| − | Mr Krabs: (laughs) Oh, lighten up, Squidward. 'Tis harmless tomfoolery.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Oh, lighten up, Squidward. 'Tis harmless tomfoolery.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Do you want to know where the mustard is? (Gary is covered in mustard)<br> | |
Squidward: Ah! Eww. (cut to later) Well, he may be twice as annoying at work, but it still beats having him as a neighbor. | Squidward: Ah! Eww. (cut to later) Well, he may be twice as annoying at work, but it still beats having him as a neighbor. | ||
(sighs. A clothesline of underwear enter the dining area)<br> | (sighs. A clothesline of underwear enter the dining area)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (sings) Laundry song, la-la-la! Sing about your laundry all day long. La-la-la-la laundry song.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: | + | Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you can't be hanging your delicates in me customer's faces. (customer sees underwear and stops |
chewing)<br> | chewing)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Well, they don't see to mind. (customer takes down a pair of underwear and uses it as a napkin)<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: Oh! I have a disgusting clientele. Who spend their money freely.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh! I have a disgusting clientele. Who spend their money freely.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (chuckles) Aye aye, captain.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: Because I'd hate for a certain living arrangement-- meaning yours-- to interfere with said money spending. | + | Mr. Krabs: Because I'd hate for a certain living arrangement-- meaning yours-- to interfere with said money spending. |
| − | (tries opening his office door but can't) What the barnacles? (opens the door | + | (tries opening his office door but can't) What the barnacles? (opens the door slightly to see all of SpongeBob’s stuff in |
| − | his office) | + | his office) SpongeBob! Why is your bed in me office?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: It was getting kind of crowded in the kitchen. (squeezes inside the office)So I moved in here.<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: You can't stay in here. These are my private quarters, boy. The only play I can escape for solitude during the | + | Mr. Krabs: You can't stay in here. These are my private quarters, boy. The only play I can escape for solitude during the |
day.<br> | day.<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: But I'll only be here at night. Please, Mr. Krabs, I won't get in your way. Please!<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: Oh... Okay, but I'll have to raise your rent.<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh... Okay, but I'll have to raise your rent.<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh, thank you, Mr... (doorbell rings. Spongebob gasps) My parents!<br> | |
| − | Mr Krabs: Your parents?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: Your parents?<br> |
| − | + | SpongeBob: (opens up front doors) Mom! Dad! Come on in. (enters Mr. Krabs' office) And this is the guest room. Mom, Dad, Mr. | |
Krabs.<br> | Krabs.<br> | ||
| − | Mrs SquarePants: Oh, hello. (Mr Krabs' eye twitches. In the dining area, customers are slipping on snail trail that Gary | + | Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, hello. (Mr. Krabs' eye twitches. In the dining area, customers are slipping on snail trail that Gary |
is leaving on the floor)<br> | is leaving on the floor)<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Well, I'll let you two get settled.<br> | |
Customer #2: Is this your snail?<br> | Customer #2: Is this your snail?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: (gasps) Gary! Bad boy! No!<br> | |
Customer #2: Put that thing on a leash.<br> | Customer #2: Put that thing on a leash.<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: (holding golden clam-shaped soap containers in his hand) Squidward, who put these fancy smelling soaps in the | + | Mr. Krabs: (holding golden clam-shaped soap containers in his hand) Squidward, who put these fancy smelling soaps in the |
restroom?<br> | restroom?<br> | ||
Squidward: The same person who knitted these napkin holders and embroidered the menu. (shows both items)<br> | Squidward: The same person who knitted these napkin holders and embroidered the menu. (shows both items)<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: (gasps) Argh. (walks to his office) That boy's taking the manliness out of me restaurant. Oh, he didn't. Floral | + | Mr. Krabs: (gasps) Argh. (walks to his office) That boy's taking the manliness out of me restaurant. Oh, he didn't. Floral |
print curtains in me office? That's it. That's the last straw! I'm not putting up with this any longer. (rips curtains | print curtains in me office? That's it. That's the last straw! I'm not putting up with this any longer. (rips curtains | ||
| − | down to reveal Mrs | + | down to reveal Mrs. SquarePants taking a shower)<br> |
| − | Mrs SquarePants: Oh!<br> | + | Mrs. SquarePants: Oh!<br> |
| − | Mr Krabs: Oh, oh, I...I'm sorry. I didn't know... (walks backwards into Mr | + | Mr. Krabs: Oh, oh, I...I'm sorry. I didn't know... (walks backwards into Mr. SquarePants)<br> |
| − | Mr SquarePants: What's going on in here?<br> | + | Mr. SquarePants: What's going on in here?<br> |
| − | Mr Krabs: No, I... (thrown out of his office. Hears buzzing in the kitchen) What the...?<br> | + | Mr. Krabs: No, I... (thrown out of his office. Hears buzzing in the kitchen) What the...?<br> |
| − | Patrick: (walks out of the | + | Patrick: (walks out of the kitchen) Thanks, SpongeBob. (points to his lower back) If I could reach it, I'd do it myself. |
(all the customers run out in disgust)<br> | (all the customers run out in disgust)<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: Me customers! (cries) Gone! Gone! All they wanted... was to give me...their money. (sobbing) | + | Mr. Krabs: Me customers! (cries) Gone! Gone! All they wanted... was to give me...their money. (sobbing) SpongeBob! Pack |
| − | your bags, boy. You're moving out. ( | + | your bags, boy. You're moving out. (SpongeBob is shaving in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Squidward is about to relax in his |
lawn chair when a moving truck drives up)<br> | lawn chair when a moving truck drives up)<br> | ||
Squidward: What the...? SpongeBob, what are you doing here?<br> | Squidward: What the...? SpongeBob, what are you doing here?<br> | ||
| − | + | SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs kicked me out, so now we're neighbors again. Hey, my drums! (plays the drums frantically. | |
| − | Squidward yells. Cut to next day where Mr Krabs opens up the Krusty Krab but, this time, all of Squidward's stuff is | + | Squidward yells. Cut to next day where Mr. Krabs opens up the Krusty Krab but, this time, all of Squidward's stuff is |
inside)<br> | inside)<br> | ||
| − | Mr Krabs: Squidward! | + | Mr. Krabs: Squidward! |
{{Slogan}} | {{Slogan}} | ||
[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
Revision as of 13:05, 17 April 2008
| Back Episode Transcript | Next Episode Transcript |
|---|---|
| Good Ol' Whatshisname | Krabs a la Mode |
Episode Article: New Digs
Characters
SpongeBob: Got to hurry, Gary. The sooner I get to bed, the sooner I'll get to sleep, and the sooner I get to sleep, the sooner I'll wake up, and the sooner I wake up, ooh ho-ho! The sooner I get to go to work at the best job in the whole world: The Krusty Krab! Now, to just put on these sleepy time blinders, before I run excitedly to bed. (trips over a treasure chest. Gary slithers past him and onto his newspaper. SpongeBob finally gets into bed) Well, good night, Gar.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I'm just going to turn out the lights. (does so) Clickety poo. And close my eyes and go to sleep. (SpongeBob
lays in bed awake while Gary is snoring) Just close my eyes and go to sleep. (grunts trying to close his eyes but can't)
Maybe if I run around it'll tire me out. (runs around the room then jumps on the bed but breaks it) Oh, I just got to get
some sleep! (stand on his head on the floor) There's only one thing for this. (cut to SpongeBob holding a glass of milk)
Ah, that's the stuff. A glass of warm snail milk. (drinks it then throws the glass away. Cannot go to sleep yet) Ah, why
isn't it working? (falls face first on the ground and goes to sleep. Gary crawls over him. Cut to morning when the clam
wakes everyone up. SpongeBob wakes up with drool all over his mouth) Whoa, Gary, what happened? (remembers what time it is
and crashes through his front door with all his clothes on except for his left show, which is still in his home) Help, I'm
late for work! (checks his pocket watch) Oh, my gosh, only twenty seconds to go! What the...? (sees the bridge ahead is
out) Bridge out? (jumps over the gap and continues to run then gasps again after he sees a hopscotch board on the ground
where three girls are) Hopscotch! (plays a game of hopscotch perfectly. The three little girls cheer as SpongeBob
continues to run) Almost there. (runs in the Krusty Krab and jumps at the time clock with his time slip in hand. The clock
turns to 9:01) No!! I'm late. What's Mr. Krabs going to say? (Mr. Krabs is cleaning the door. SpongeBob runs into the
kitchen) Tardy Pants! You, sir, are a tardy pants! Wait till Mr. Krabs finds out. You better think of something to save
your job.
Squidward: One Krabby Patty and Krabby Fries for table four.
SpongeBob: Order up! (runs to the table) Here you go, sir. One Krabby Patty, Krabby Fries, and Krabby drink in three
seconds flat. (smiles at Mr Krabs as he leaps into the kitchen. Customer spills her drink)
Squidward: Spill at table...
SpongeBob: I'm on it. (mopping spill) Nothing a dedicated, on-time employee can't handle. (mops the kids head) Kiddies get
a free touch-up. (leaps into the kitchen) Ta-da! All done.
Mr. Krabs: Hey, SpongeBob.
SpongeBob: (jumps at Mr. Krabs' feet) No! Please don't throw me out into the street. I am so sorry for what I did.
Mr. Krabs: What'd you do?
SpongeBob: I was a minute late for work.
Mr. Krabs: A minute late?
SpongeBob: A whole sixty seconds.
Mr. Krabs: Well, uh, don't do it again.
SpongeBob: No, no! You have to punish me.
Mr. Krabs: What? Okay, uh, then wipe down the salad bar.
SpongeBob: Aye aye, sir.
Mr. Krabs: (walks out of the Krusty Krab) And good night.
SpongeBob: I love it here, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sheesh.
Squidward: If you love it so much, why don't you just live here? (chuckling. Cut to SpongeBob straining to get his feet
through a cardboard box he's going to sleep in. He gets his feet through the box and uses napkins as a blanket)
SpongeBob: Somethin's not right. What is it? Do I miss my own clock? Maybe it's my own bed. (snaps fingers) Oh, that's it.
I'll make the Krusty Krab just like home. What do you say Gary? (Gary is a toilet paper roll with cucumbers for eyes. Cut
to next day where Mr Krabs enters the Krusty Krab and sees SpongeBob sleeping in his bed in the dining area)
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob? What in Neptune's Navy is going on here?
SpongeBob: SpongeBob reporting for duty, sir.
Mr. Krabs: How long you been here?
SpongeBob: All night, sir.
Mr. Krabs: All night?
SpongeBob: That's right, I'm going to live here from now on, so I'll never ever be tardy pants again.
Mr. Krabs: Hold on! This ain't no hotel, son.
SpongeBob: (gets out a stack of cash from his pocket) Here's my first month's rent.
Mr. Krabs: rent? Okay. Well, let's get ready for the customers. Start scrubbing the grill...
SpongeBob: Already done, sir. (grill is spotless)
Mr. Krabs: Well, start cooking some...
SpongeBob: Done. (a bunch of krabby patties are in the kitchen ready for serving. SpongeBob punches his time card) All
that, before we even open up our doors, sir.
Mr. Krabs: Okay. Then get cleaned up. You're a mess.
SpongeBob: Eww, I guess I could use some freshening up. (ketchup and mustard stains are all over his clothes. Cut to
Squidward putting a bucket of dishes on the conveyor belt but the dishwasher stops)
Squidward: Jammed again. (reaches inside to fix it but pokes SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Ooh. Hi, Squidward.
Squidward: SpongeBob? What are you doing here?
SpongeBob: Oh, I live here now.
Squidward: In the dishwasher?
SpongeBob: No, at the Krusty Krab. Now, if you'll excuse me.
Squidward: SpongeBob living at the Krusty Krab? Wait a minute, if he's living here, that means he won't be living next to
me. Oh. (imagines falling in a pile of flowers but it's really pots and pans. Mr. Krabs is seeing Squidward making an angel
on the floor)
Mr. Krabs: Must be a full moon. (cut to closing time) Mr. Squidward?
Squidward: Just saying goodnight to SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs. Sweet dreams, SpongeBob. You look much more comfier in here than
in your old home.
SpongeBob: Won't you miss me living next door, Squidward?
Squidward: (laughing) No. Coming Eugene. (cheers as he walks out the Krusty Krab) Good night's sleep, here I come. (cut to
next day where Squidward is talking to a customer) And when I went home at night, guess what?
Customer: He wasn't there?
Squidward: Right! And when I woke up in the morning...
Customer: Can I just get my change?
Squidward: (laughing) He still wasn't there.
Customer: Come on, man, my change.
Squidward: (grabs something out of the register) Here you go.
Customer: Yeah, thanks... (gasps) Oh, real funny, buddy. Two socks and a pair of tighty whities.
Squidward: Socks and... (gasps. socks and underwear are in the register instead of money) What the...? SpongeBob, why is your underwear in the cash register?
SpongeBob: Well, I had to put them somewhere and my underwear drawer is all filled up with krabby patties and the freezer
is filled up with my snowflake collection. (blocks of snowfalkes are in the freezer) So I put the cash from the cash
register in the pickle jar.
Squidward: What?
Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Oh, lighten up, Squidward. 'Tis harmless tomfoolery.
SpongeBob: Do you want to know where the mustard is? (Gary is covered in mustard)
Squidward: Ah! Eww. (cut to later) Well, he may be twice as annoying at work, but it still beats having him as a neighbor.
(sighs. A clothesline of underwear enter the dining area)
SpongeBob: (sings) Laundry song, la-la-la! Sing about your laundry all day long. La-la-la-la laundry song.
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, you can't be hanging your delicates in me customer's faces. (customer sees underwear and stops
chewing)
SpongeBob: Well, they don't see to mind. (customer takes down a pair of underwear and uses it as a napkin)
Mr. Krabs: Oh! I have a disgusting clientele. Who spend their money freely.
SpongeBob: (chuckles) Aye aye, captain.
Mr. Krabs: Because I'd hate for a certain living arrangement-- meaning yours-- to interfere with said money spending.
(tries opening his office door but can't) What the barnacles? (opens the door slightly to see all of SpongeBob’s stuff in
his office) SpongeBob! Why is your bed in me office?
SpongeBob: It was getting kind of crowded in the kitchen. (squeezes inside the office)So I moved in here.
Mr. Krabs: You can't stay in here. These are my private quarters, boy. The only play I can escape for solitude during the
day.
SpongeBob: But I'll only be here at night. Please, Mr. Krabs, I won't get in your way. Please!
Mr. Krabs: Oh... Okay, but I'll have to raise your rent.
SpongeBob: Oh, thank you, Mr... (doorbell rings. Spongebob gasps) My parents!
Mr. Krabs: Your parents?
SpongeBob: (opens up front doors) Mom! Dad! Come on in. (enters Mr. Krabs' office) And this is the guest room. Mom, Dad, Mr.
Krabs.
Mrs. SquarePants: Oh, hello. (Mr. Krabs' eye twitches. In the dining area, customers are slipping on snail trail that Gary
is leaving on the floor)
SpongeBob: Well, I'll let you two get settled.
Customer #2: Is this your snail?
SpongeBob: (gasps) Gary! Bad boy! No!
Customer #2: Put that thing on a leash.
Mr. Krabs: (holding golden clam-shaped soap containers in his hand) Squidward, who put these fancy smelling soaps in the
restroom?
Squidward: The same person who knitted these napkin holders and embroidered the menu. (shows both items)
Mr. Krabs: (gasps) Argh. (walks to his office) That boy's taking the manliness out of me restaurant. Oh, he didn't. Floral
print curtains in me office? That's it. That's the last straw! I'm not putting up with this any longer. (rips curtains
down to reveal Mrs. SquarePants taking a shower)
Mrs. SquarePants: Oh!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, oh, I...I'm sorry. I didn't know... (walks backwards into Mr. SquarePants)
Mr. SquarePants: What's going on in here?
Mr. Krabs: No, I... (thrown out of his office. Hears buzzing in the kitchen) What the...?
Patrick: (walks out of the kitchen) Thanks, SpongeBob. (points to his lower back) If I could reach it, I'd do it myself.
(all the customers run out in disgust)
Mr. Krabs: Me customers! (cries) Gone! Gone! All they wanted... was to give me...their money. (sobbing) SpongeBob! Pack
your bags, boy. You're moving out. (SpongeBob is shaving in the kitchen. Meanwhile, Squidward is about to relax in his
lawn chair when a moving truck drives up)
Squidward: What the...? SpongeBob, what are you doing here?
SpongeBob: Oh, Mr. Krabs kicked me out, so now we're neighbors again. Hey, my drums! (plays the drums frantically.
Squidward yells. Cut to next day where Mr. Krabs opens up the Krusty Krab but, this time, all of Squidward's stuff is
inside)
Mr. Krabs: Squidward!
