Episode Transcript: Krusty Dogs

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==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
(The episode starts at the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties.)<br>
+
(the episode starts at the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh. Delicious.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh. Delicious. (popping and squishing sounds repeat over and over as SpongeBob makes more Krabby Patties and puts them on the grill. Puts them in the freezer. Rolls the Krabby Patty with cutouts into a roll, and a duck quacks when SpongeBob suddenly looks at the Krabby Patty. Squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a top hat) Top of the morning to you! (laughs. More squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into Gary)
  
(Popping and squishing sounds repeat over and over as SpongeBob makes more Krabby Patties and puts them on the grill. He puts them in the freezer.)<br>
+
'''Krabby Patty Gary:''' Meow. (even more squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a telephone. SpongeBob picks up the receiver and holds it to his side)
  
(SpongeBob rolls the Krabby Patty with cutouts into a roll, and a duck quacks when SpongeBob suddenly looks at the Krabby Patty.)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Krusty Krab, SpongeBob speaking. (laughs. Puts down the receiver. The telephone rings, causing SpongeBob to pick up the receiver again) Gary, are you there? Gary, I know you're there. I can hear you breathing. (puts down the receiver again. Squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into the shape of a sausage. Gasps) Ooh!(puts the Krabby Patty sausage into a pot with tongs. Closes the pot. Time card appears)
  
(Squishing sounds play, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a top hat.)<br>
+
'''French Narrator:''' One wiener later... (SpongeBob excitedly opens the door to Mr. Krabs' office)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Top of the morning to you! (laughing)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs! This wiener tastes just like a Krabby Patty! Maybe we can add them to the menu!
  
(More squishing sounds play, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into Gary.)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm not impressed.
  
'''Krabby Patty Gary:''' Meow.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I made it with leftover ingredients.
  
(Even more squishing sounds play, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a telephone.)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Now I'm impressed! (Frank walks into the door to the Krusty Krab)
  
(SpongeBob picks up the receiver and holds it to his side.)<br>
+
'''Frank:''' Hmm. I could've sworn that sign said "open". (cut to Squidward sighing with the Krusty Krab sign behind him)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Krusty Krab, SpongeBob speaking. (laughing) (puts down the receiver)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Once in a while, I need to breathe in and not smell grease. Or the stench of my miserably failed life. (blinks) Talking to myself... again. (Frank looks through the kitchen window, to see SpongeBob demonstrate how he made the Krusty Dog)
  
(The telephone rings, causing SpongeBob to pick up the receiver again.)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' And then, I just cook it, like this... (puts the Krusty Dog in the pot)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Gary, are you there?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Go on.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Gary, I know you're there. I can hear you breathing.<br>
+
'''Frank:''' My, what an interesting shape. Are those for sale?
  
(SpongeBob puts down the receiver again.)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Why? Would you like to buy one?
  
(Squishing sounds play, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into the shape of a sausage. SpongeBob gasps.)<br>
+
'''Frank:''' Well, that would depend on the price.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Would you pay the same as what a Krabby Patty costs?
  
(SpongeBob puts the Krabby Patty sausage into a pot with tongs)<br>
+
'''Frank:''' Hmm... Sure, I suppose so.
  
(SpongeBob closes the pot)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' How about double?
  
'''French Narrator:''' One wiener later...<br>
+
'''Frank:''' Now you're talking!
  
(SpongeBob excitedly opens the door to Mr. Krabs' office)<br>
+
'''Customer:''' Krabby Patties again? (sighs) If only there were something else.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs! This wiener tastes just like a Krabby Patty! Maybe we can add them to the menu!<br>
+
'''Customer #2:''' Hey, what you got there, Frank?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm not impressed.<br>
+
'''Frank:''' It's new. Tastes just like a Krabby Patty, but it's shaped like a wiener!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I made it with leftover ingredients.<br>
+
'''Customers:''' (talking) Well, that sounds very interesting!
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Now I'm impressed!<br>
+
'''Customer:''' Hey, I'd like to request a wiener.
  
(Frank walks into the door to the Krusty Krab)<br>
+
'''Customer #2:''' Me too!
  
'''Frank:''' Hmm. I could've sworn that sign said "open".<br>
+
'''Customer #3:''' Me too!
  
(Cuts to Squidward sighing with the Krusty Krab sign behind him)<br>
+
'''Customers:''' (all chanting) Wieners! Wieners! Wieners! (Mr. Krabs goes up a ladder, wheezing. Chalk squeaking sounds are heard, while Mr. Krabs writes "KRUSTY DOG .. ... 3.99" and "WITH CHEESE ... 4.99")
  
'''Squidward:''' Once in a while, I need to breathe in and not smell grease.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, what's that noise?
  
'''Squidward:''' Or the stench of my miserably failed life. (blinks) Talking to myself... again.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Excruciating.
  
(Frank looks through the kitchen window, to see SpongeBob demonstrate how he made the Krusty Dog)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Up here, boy! Take a look!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' And then, I just cook it, like this... (puts the Krusty Dog in the pot)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I can't read it from here, Mr. Krabs! What's it say?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Go on.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' It says... "Krusty Dogs! Only $3.99! Or $4.99 with cheese."
  
'''Frank:''' My, what an interesting shape. Are those for sale?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' $4.99?! That's highway robbery!
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Why? Would you like to buy one?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Avec fromage, Monsieur Squidward. Avec fromage.
  
'''Frank:''' Well, that would depend on the price.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' My Krusty Dog...handwritten on the menu! Oh, pinch me, Squidward.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Would you pay the same as what a Krabby Patty costs?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Pinch yourself, you ninny. (time card appears)
  
'''Frank:''' Hmm... Sure, I suppose so.<br>
+
'''French Narrator:''' The following day... (SpongeBob is flipping Krabby Patties on the grill)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' How about double?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! 3 more Krusty Dogs, pronto!
  
'''Frank:''' Now you're talking!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain! (puts the Krusty Dogs in the pot)
  
'''Customer:''' Krabby Patties again? (sighs) If only there were something else.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! 3 more orders of Krusty Dogs! Extra Krusty.
  
'''Customer:''' Hey, what you got there, Frank?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, Mr. Krabs, we sure are getting a lot of orders for Krusty Dogs!
  
'''Frank:''' It's new. Tastes just like a Krabby Patty, but it's shaped like a wiener!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yep!
  
'''Customers:''' (talking) Well, that sounds very interesting!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, I'll get those going right after I finish cooking up these Krabby Patties.
  
'''Customer:''' Hey, I'd like to request a wiener.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, forget about making those patties. Just make the wieners! (gives SpongeBob the order)
  
'''Customer:''' Me too!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' "Just make the wieners"?
  
'''Customer:''' Me too!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Um, excuse me, Mr. Krabs. Where are you going with that ladder? Mr. Krabs?
  
'''Customers:''' (all chanting) Wieners! Wieners! Wieners!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm just going to make a few changes to the Krusty Krab menu, that's all.
  
(Mr. Krabs goes up a ladder, wheezing.)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Changes?
  
(Chalk squeaking sounds play, while Mr. Krabs writes "KRUSTY DOG .. ... 3.99" and "WITH CHEESE ... 4.99")<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, that reminds me. Do you have an eraser I could borrow?
  
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, what's that noise?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Eraser?
  
'''Squidward:''' Excruciating.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ah, never mind, I'll just cross it off. (chalk squeaks as Mr. Krabs draws an X over "Krabby Patty") No more Krabby Patties. (dramatic music plays while SpongeBob whimpers with his eyes slightly smaller, and he falls. An ambulance comes. SpongeBob whimpers more)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Up here, boy! Take a look!<br>
+
'''Paramedic:''' Okay, just breathe normally, son. (SpongeBob whimpers even more)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I can't read it from here, Mr. Krabs! What's it say?<br>
+
'''Paramedic:''' There you go, that's it. There, he's starting to revive!
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' It says... "Krusty Dogs! Only $3.99! Or $4.99 with cheese."<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I had this horrible dream that Mr. Krabs was never gonna let me cook Krabby Patties again. (scraping sounds are heard as Mr. Krabs takes away the grill)
  
'''Squidward:''' $4.99?! That's highway robbery!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Pardon me. (more scraping sounds. SpongeBob starts crying)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Avec fromage, Monsieur Squidward. Avec fromage.<br>
+
'''Paramedic:''' We're losing him! (Mr. Krabs puts the grill in the trash heap. Bubble-wipe to later)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' My Krusty Dog...handwritten on the menu! Oh, pinch me, Squidward.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob... SpongeBob... Wake up...
  
'''Squidward:''' Pinch yourself, you ninny.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Where am I? And what are these paramedics doing here?
  
'''French Narrator:''' The following day...<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' You'e back in your old kitchen, and the pair of paramedics were here to revive you.
  
(SpongeBob is flipping Krabby Patties on the grill)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I was asleep?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! 3 more Krusty Dogs, pronto!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah. But just for a little while. So I only docked your pay for the time you were unconscious.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, isn't that where the grill used to be?
  
(SpongeBob puts the Krusty Dogs in the pot)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Maybe, but now we have this! (takes off sheets and reveals Krusty Dog-making machine)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob! 3 more orders of Krusty Dogs! Extra Krusty.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' And what about my... my spatula?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow, Mr. Krabs, we sure are getting a lot of orders for Krusty Dogs!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I got you a new one! (holds up tongs and clangs them, then handing them to SpongeBob, who can't hold the tongs, and they get his nose, making it deflate and fall down. everyone but SpongeBob laughs)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yep!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Alright, those wieners aren't gonna rotisserie themselves. Everybody, back to work! (everyone but SpongeBob goes away. Gives the Krusty Dog-making machine to SpongeBob)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, I'll get those going right after I finish cooking up these Krabby Patties.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain... (clangs tongs against Krusty Dog-making machine. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking up to Squidward)<br>
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, forget about making those patties. Just make the wieners! (Gives SpongeBob the order)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward, can I talk to you for one second?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' "Just make the wieners"?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' I dunno. That's a pretty long talk.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Um, excuse me, Mr. Krabs. Where are you going with that ladder? Mr. Krabs?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Has anything ever happened at your job that made it, well, not as fun as it used to be?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I'm just going to make a few changes to the Krusty Krab menu, that's all.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Well, actually, yes.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Changes?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Really? What was it?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, that reminds me. Do you have an eraser I could borrow?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Being hired.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Eraser?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know why, but things just aren't the same since Krusty Dogs were added to the menu.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ah, never mind, I'll just cross it off. (Chalk squeaks as Mr. Krabs draws an X over "Krabby Patty") No more Krabby Patties.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, my boy, I realized long ago that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that could make this job any more boring or humiliating or demeaning than it already is. (bubble-wipe to Squidward in a Krusty Dog costume with a sign saying "TRY NEW KRUSTY DOGS!")
  
(dramatic music plays while SpongeBob whimpers with his eyes slightly smaller, and he falls. An ambulance comes)<br>
+
'''Billy:''' Look at that guy dressed like a hot dog, mommy.
  
(SpongeBob whimpers more)<br>
+
'''Billy's Mom:''' Let that inspire you to stay in school, Billy. (Billy kicks Squidward. Mr. Krabs nails Krusty Dog posters on the pole)
  
'''Paramedics:''' Okay, just breathe normally, son.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs?
  
(SpongeBob whimpers even more)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ahoy, SpongeBob! How goes the wieners?
  
'''Paramedics:''' There you go, that's it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Meh, I was kinda wondering, could we just go back to selling Krabby Patties?
  
'''Paramedics:''' There, he's starting to revive!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (eyes widen) What on earth for!? Krusty Dogs was your best idea ever, boy!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I had this horrible dream that Mr. Krabs was never gonna let me cook Krabby Patties again.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I know, I- well, I guess I sort of just miss the Krabby Patties. After all, they're what gave this place it's name!
  
(Scraping sounds play as Mr. Krabs takes away the grill)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, good point.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Pardon me. (more scraping sounds)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, I mean, don't you think we should- (Mr. Krabs covers up "Krab" in "The Krusty Krab" with a board that says "DOGS." Gasps) "Krusty Dog"?! Those wieners have got to go. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob serving Krusty Dogs) Here you are, hungry customers, your delicious Krusty Dogs.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (crying)<br>
+
'''Customer #4:''' They do look delicious.
  
'''Paramedics:''' We're losing him!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yes. (whispering) Eat one and you will develop an unsightly skin condition. (serves another Krusty Dog) Here's your foot long, sir!
  
(Mr. Krabs puts the grill in the trash heap)<br>
+
'''Customer #5:''' Thanks! 12 inches of deliciousness!
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob... SpongeBob... Wake up...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah! You know what gives them that added flavor?
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Where am I? And what are these paramedics doing here?<br>
+
'''Customer #5:''' No, what?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' You'e back in your old kitchen, and the pair of paramedics were here to revive you.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (whispering) Nose hairs and recycled dental floss.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I was asleep?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, what are you doing?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah. But just for a little while. So I only docked your pay for the time you were unconscious.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We have got to get rid of these wieners and bring back the Krabby Patty!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs, isn't that where the grill used to be?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, I never thought I'd be saying this, but count me in.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Maybe, but now we have this! (takes off sheets and reveals Krusty Dog-making machine)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray! (a customer is about to eat his Krusty Dog, but Squidward goes through the entrance)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' And what about my... my spatula?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Help! I'm having terrible abdominal pain! I think it was the... the... line.
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' I got you a new one! (holds up tongs and clangs them, then handing them to SpongeBob)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wiener.
  
(SpongeBob can't hold the tongs, and they get his nose, making it deflate and fall down)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' The wiener!
  
'''Everyone but SpongeBob:''' (laughing)<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. I am but a simple old-timey gentleman. I came here for one purpose today-
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Alright, those wieners aren't gonna rotisserie themselves. Everybody, back to work! (everyone but SpongeBob goes away)<br>
+
'''Grandma:''' So I said, if it didn't smell so bad, but it tastes so-
  
(Mr. Krabs gives the Krusty Dog-making machine to SpongeBob)<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Quiet, Granny! I'm talkin'!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain... (clangs tongs against Krusty Dog-making machine)<br>
+
'''Grandma:''' Oh.
  
(transitions to SpongeBob walking up to Squidward)<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' And that is to loudly decry these modern new fangled days of wieners, and to beg for a return to a simpler time, a Krabby Pattier time.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Squidward, can I talk to you for one second?<br>
+
'''Customer #6:''' I'm not really concerned about possible ill health effects. How about you guys?
  
'''Squidward:''' I dunno. That's a pretty long talk.<br>
+
'''Customer #7:''' Nah.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Has anything ever happened at your job that made it, well, not as fun as it used to be?<br>
+
'''Customer #8:''' How about nostalgia?
  
'''Squidward:''' Well, actually, yes.<br>
+
'''Customer #9:''' Never heard of him.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Really? What was it?<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Okay, that didn't work at all.
  
'''Squidward:''' Being hired.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' It only seemed to increase their appetite for wieners!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I don't know why, but things just aren't the same since Krusty Dogs were added to the menu.<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' We need stronger tactics.
  
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, my boy, I realized long ago that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that could make this job any more boring or humiliating or demeaning than it already is.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Right. Something that would make Mr. Krabs' whole wiener thing blow right up in his face.
  
(transitions to Squidward in a Krusty Dog costume with a sign saying "TRY NEW KRUSTY DOGS!")<br>
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Yeah. Blow up. (honk) Squidward, that's it! (laughing as he runs to the kitchen. Grabs a pack of balloons and makes a Krusty Dog, pumps into it, and squirts mustard on it)
  
'''Billy:''' Look at that guy dressed like a hot dog, mommy.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Beautiful. (gives the customer the Krusty Dog, but there is a cord in it now) Your Krusty Dog, sir, with extra mustard.
  
'''Billy's mom:''' Let that inspire you to stay in school, Billy.<br>
+
'''Nat:''' Thanks.
  
(Billy kicks Squidward)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Can I bring you something else? Okay, I guess not. Wait for it, SpongeBob... wait for it... NOW! (starts pumping air into the Krusty Dog)
  
(Mr. Krabs nails Krusty Dog posters on the pole)<br>
+
'''Customer #6:''' Yeah, remember that? That was- Oh, my Neptune! That Krusty Dog is about to explode!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs?<br>
+
'''Nat:''' What? Where? (Krusty Dog explodes and throws the meat at all the other customers, along with screaming. Customers walk out complaining)
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Ahoy, SpongeBob! How goes the wieners?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Have a nice day!
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Meh, I was kinda wondering, could we just go back to selling Krabby Patties?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, what happened in here!? Where are all me customers? What are we gonna do?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (eyes widen) What on earth for!? Krusty Dogs was your best idea ever, boy!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh, I know the answer. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob making Krabby Patties)
  
'''SpongeBob:''' I know, I- Well, I guess I sort of just miss the Krabby Patties. After all, they're what gave this place it's name!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hey, SpongeBob, have you seen Mr. Squidward?
  
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Yeah, good point.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I think he's outside on his break.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, I mean, don't you think we should-<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Perfect. And keep them Krabby Patties coming, boy!
  
(Mr. Krabs covers up "Krab" in "The Krusty Krab" with a board that says "DOGS")<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain! (cut to Squidward in a Krabby Patty costume with a sign saying "THEY'RE BACK!")
  
'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) "Krusty Dog"!? Those wieners have got to go.<br>
+
'''Billy:''' Mom, look, it's a guy dressed as a Krabby Patty.
  
'''SpongeBob:''' Here you are, hungry customers, your delicious Krusty Dogs.<br>
+
'''Billy's Mom:''' It's never too soon to start picking a good college, Billy. (kicks Squidward)
 
+
'''Customer:''' They do look delicious.<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yes. Eat one and you will develop an unsightly skin condition.<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Here's your foot long, sir!<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' Thanks! 12 inches of deliciousness!<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah! You know what gives them that added flavor?<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' No, what?<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Nose hairs and recycled dental floss.<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, what are you doing?<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We have got to get rid of these wieners and bring back the Krabby Patty!<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, I never thought I'd be saying this, but count me in.<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hooray!<br>
+
 
+
(A customer is about to eat his Krusty Dog, but Squidward goes through the entrance)<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' Help! I'm having terrible abdominal pain! I think it was the... the... line.<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wiener.<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' The wiener!!!<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. I am but a simple old-timey gentleman. I came here for one purpose today-<br>
+
 
+
'''Grandma:''' So I said, if it didn't smell so bad, but it tastes so-<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Quiet, Granny! I'm talkin'!!!<br>
+
 
+
'''Grandma:''' Oh.<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' And that is to loudly decry these modern new fangled days of wieners, and to beg for a return to a simpler time, a Krabby Pattier time.<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' I'm not really concerned about possible ill health effects. How about you guys?<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' Nah.<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' How about nostalgia?<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' Never heard of him.<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Okay, that didn't work at all.<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' It only seemed to increase their appetite for wieners!<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' We need stronger tactics.<br>
+
 
+
'''Squidward:''' Right. Something that would make Mr. Krabs' whole wiener thing blow right up in his face.<br>
+
 
+
'''Old-Timey SpongeBob:''' Yeah. Blow up. (honk) Squidward, that's it! (laughing as he runs to the kitchen)<br>
+
 
+
(SpongeBob grabs a pack of balloons and makes a Krusty Dog, pumps into it, and squirts mustard on it)<br>
+
 
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Beautiful.<br>
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(SpongeBob gives the customer the Krusty Dog, but there is a cord in it now)<br>
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+
'''SpongeBob:''' Your Krusty Dog, sir, with extra mustard.<br>
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'''Customer:''' Thanks.<br>
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+
'''SpongeBob:''' Can I bring you something else?<br>
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'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, I guess not.<br>
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'''SpongeBob:''' Wait for it, SpongeBob... wait for it... NOW! (starts pumping air into the Krusty Dog)<br>
+
 
+
'''Customer:''' Yeah, remember that? That was- Oh, my Neptune! That Krusty Dog is about to explode!<br>
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'''Customer:''' What? Where? (Krusty Dog explodes and throws the meat at all the other customers, along with screaming)<br>
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'''All:''' (complaining)<br>
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'''SpongeBob:''' Have a nice day!<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs:''' SpongeBob, what happened in here!? Where are all me customers? What are we gonna do?<br>
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'''SpongeBob:''' Ooh, I know the answer.<br>
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(transitions to SpongeBob making Krabby Patties)<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs:''' Hey, SpongeBob, have you seen Mr. Squidward?<br>
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'''SpongeBob:''' I think he's outside on his break.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs:''' Perfect. And keep them Krabby Patties coming, boy!'''<br>
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'''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, captain!<br>
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(cuts to Squidward in a Krabby Patty costume with a sign saying "THEY'RE BACK!")<br>
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'''Billy:''' Mom, look, it's a guy dressed as a Krabby Patty.<br>
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'''Billy's Mom:''' It's never too soon to start picking a good college, Billy.
+
  
 
{{Transcripts/Season 7}}
 
{{Transcripts/Season 7}}
 
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 7]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 7]]

Revision as of 03:31, 10 October 2022

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Tunnel of Glove The Wreck of the Mauna Loa

Episode Article: Krusty Dogs

Characters

Dialogue

(the episode starts at the Krusty Krab, where SpongeBob is making Krabby Patties)

SpongeBob: Ooh. Delicious. (popping and squishing sounds repeat over and over as SpongeBob makes more Krabby Patties and puts them on the grill. Puts them in the freezer. Rolls the Krabby Patty with cutouts into a roll, and a duck quacks when SpongeBob suddenly looks at the Krabby Patty. Squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a top hat) Top of the morning to you! (laughs. More squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into Gary)

Krabby Patty Gary: Meow. (even more squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into a telephone. SpongeBob picks up the receiver and holds it to his side)

SpongeBob: Krusty Krab, SpongeBob speaking. (laughs. Puts down the receiver. The telephone rings, causing SpongeBob to pick up the receiver again) Gary, are you there? Gary, I know you're there. I can hear you breathing. (puts down the receiver again. Squishing sounds are heard, while SpongeBob molds the Krabby Patty into the shape of a sausage. Gasps) Ooh!(puts the Krabby Patty sausage into a pot with tongs. Closes the pot. Time card appears)

French Narrator: One wiener later... (SpongeBob excitedly opens the door to Mr. Krabs' office)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs! This wiener tastes just like a Krabby Patty! Maybe we can add them to the menu!

Mr. Krabs: I'm not impressed.

SpongeBob: I made it with leftover ingredients.

Mr. Krabs: Now I'm impressed! (Frank walks into the door to the Krusty Krab)

Frank: Hmm. I could've sworn that sign said "open". (cut to Squidward sighing with the Krusty Krab sign behind him)

Squidward: Once in a while, I need to breathe in and not smell grease. Or the stench of my miserably failed life. (blinks) Talking to myself... again. (Frank looks through the kitchen window, to see SpongeBob demonstrate how he made the Krusty Dog)

SpongeBob: And then, I just cook it, like this... (puts the Krusty Dog in the pot)

Mr. Krabs: Go on.

Frank: My, what an interesting shape. Are those for sale?

Mr. Krabs: Why? Would you like to buy one?

Frank: Well, that would depend on the price.

Mr. Krabs: Would you pay the same as what a Krabby Patty costs?

Frank: Hmm... Sure, I suppose so.

Mr. Krabs: How about double?

Frank: Now you're talking!

Customer: Krabby Patties again? (sighs) If only there were something else.

Customer #2: Hey, what you got there, Frank?

Frank: It's new. Tastes just like a Krabby Patty, but it's shaped like a wiener!

Customers: (talking) Well, that sounds very interesting!

Customer: Hey, I'd like to request a wiener.

Customer #2: Me too!

Customer #3: Me too!

Customers: (all chanting) Wieners! Wieners! Wieners! (Mr. Krabs goes up a ladder, wheezing. Chalk squeaking sounds are heard, while Mr. Krabs writes "KRUSTY DOG .. ... 3.99" and "WITH CHEESE ... 4.99")

SpongeBob: Squidward, what's that noise?

Squidward: Excruciating.

Mr. Krabs: Up here, boy! Take a look!

SpongeBob: I can't read it from here, Mr. Krabs! What's it say?

Mr. Krabs: It says... "Krusty Dogs! Only $3.99! Or $4.99 with cheese."

Squidward: $4.99?! That's highway robbery!

Mr. Krabs: Avec fromage, Monsieur Squidward. Avec fromage.

SpongeBob: My Krusty Dog...handwritten on the menu! Oh, pinch me, Squidward.

Squidward: Pinch yourself, you ninny. (time card appears)

French Narrator: The following day... (SpongeBob is flipping Krabby Patties on the grill)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! 3 more Krusty Dogs, pronto!

SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain! (puts the Krusty Dogs in the pot)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob! 3 more orders of Krusty Dogs! Extra Krusty.

SpongeBob: Wow, Mr. Krabs, we sure are getting a lot of orders for Krusty Dogs!

Mr. Krabs: Yep!

SpongeBob: Yeah, I'll get those going right after I finish cooking up these Krabby Patties.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, forget about making those patties. Just make the wieners! (gives SpongeBob the order)

SpongeBob: "Just make the wieners"?

SpongeBob: Um, excuse me, Mr. Krabs. Where are you going with that ladder? Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: I'm just going to make a few changes to the Krusty Krab menu, that's all.

SpongeBob: Changes?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, that reminds me. Do you have an eraser I could borrow?

SpongeBob: Eraser?

Mr. Krabs: Ah, never mind, I'll just cross it off. (chalk squeaks as Mr. Krabs draws an X over "Krabby Patty") No more Krabby Patties. (dramatic music plays while SpongeBob whimpers with his eyes slightly smaller, and he falls. An ambulance comes. SpongeBob whimpers more)

Paramedic: Okay, just breathe normally, son. (SpongeBob whimpers even more)

Paramedic: There you go, that's it. There, he's starting to revive!

SpongeBob: I had this horrible dream that Mr. Krabs was never gonna let me cook Krabby Patties again. (scraping sounds are heard as Mr. Krabs takes away the grill)

Mr. Krabs: Pardon me. (more scraping sounds. SpongeBob starts crying)

Paramedic: We're losing him! (Mr. Krabs puts the grill in the trash heap. Bubble-wipe to later)

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob... SpongeBob... Wake up...

SpongeBob: Where am I? And what are these paramedics doing here?

Mr. Krabs: You'e back in your old kitchen, and the pair of paramedics were here to revive you.

SpongeBob: I was asleep?

Mr. Krabs: Yeah. But just for a little while. So I only docked your pay for the time you were unconscious.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, isn't that where the grill used to be?

Mr. Krabs: Maybe, but now we have this! (takes off sheets and reveals Krusty Dog-making machine)

SpongeBob: And what about my... my spatula?

Mr. Krabs: I got you a new one! (holds up tongs and clangs them, then handing them to SpongeBob, who can't hold the tongs, and they get his nose, making it deflate and fall down. everyone but SpongeBob laughs)

Mr. Krabs: Alright, those wieners aren't gonna rotisserie themselves. Everybody, back to work! (everyone but SpongeBob goes away. Gives the Krusty Dog-making machine to SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain... (clangs tongs against Krusty Dog-making machine. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking up to Squidward)

SpongeBob: Squidward, can I talk to you for one second?

Squidward: I dunno. That's a pretty long talk.

SpongeBob: Has anything ever happened at your job that made it, well, not as fun as it used to be?

Squidward: Well, actually, yes.

SpongeBob: Really? What was it?

Squidward: Being hired.

SpongeBob: I don't know why, but things just aren't the same since Krusty Dogs were added to the menu.

Squidward: SpongeBob, my boy, I realized long ago that there is nothing, I repeat, nothing that could make this job any more boring or humiliating or demeaning than it already is. (bubble-wipe to Squidward in a Krusty Dog costume with a sign saying "TRY NEW KRUSTY DOGS!")

Billy: Look at that guy dressed like a hot dog, mommy.

Billy's Mom: Let that inspire you to stay in school, Billy. (Billy kicks Squidward. Mr. Krabs nails Krusty Dog posters on the pole)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: Ahoy, SpongeBob! How goes the wieners?

SpongeBob: Meh, I was kinda wondering, could we just go back to selling Krabby Patties?

Mr. Krabs: (eyes widen) What on earth for!? Krusty Dogs was your best idea ever, boy!

SpongeBob: I know, I- well, I guess I sort of just miss the Krabby Patties. After all, they're what gave this place it's name!

Mr. Krabs: Yeah, good point.

SpongeBob: Yeah, I mean, don't you think we should- (Mr. Krabs covers up "Krab" in "The Krusty Krab" with a board that says "DOGS." Gasps) "Krusty Dog"?! Those wieners have got to go. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob serving Krusty Dogs) Here you are, hungry customers, your delicious Krusty Dogs.

Customer #4: They do look delicious.

SpongeBob: Yes. (whispering) Eat one and you will develop an unsightly skin condition. (serves another Krusty Dog) Here's your foot long, sir!

Customer #5: Thanks! 12 inches of deliciousness!

SpongeBob: Yeah! You know what gives them that added flavor?

Customer #5: No, what?

SpongeBob: (whispering) Nose hairs and recycled dental floss.

Squidward: SpongeBob, what are you doing?

SpongeBob: We have got to get rid of these wieners and bring back the Krabby Patty!

Squidward: SpongeBob, I never thought I'd be saying this, but count me in.

SpongeBob: Hooray! (a customer is about to eat his Krusty Dog, but Squidward goes through the entrance)

Squidward: Help! I'm having terrible abdominal pain! I think it was the... the... line.

SpongeBob: Wiener.

Squidward: The wiener!

Old-Timey SpongeBob: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. I am but a simple old-timey gentleman. I came here for one purpose today-

Grandma: So I said, if it didn't smell so bad, but it tastes so-

Old-Timey SpongeBob: Quiet, Granny! I'm talkin'!

Grandma: Oh.

Old-Timey SpongeBob: And that is to loudly decry these modern new fangled days of wieners, and to beg for a return to a simpler time, a Krabby Pattier time.

Customer #6: I'm not really concerned about possible ill health effects. How about you guys?

Customer #7: Nah.

Customer #8: How about nostalgia?

Customer #9: Never heard of him.

Old-Timey SpongeBob: Okay, that didn't work at all.

Squidward: It only seemed to increase their appetite for wieners!

Old-Timey SpongeBob: We need stronger tactics.

Squidward: Right. Something that would make Mr. Krabs' whole wiener thing blow right up in his face.

Old-Timey SpongeBob: Yeah. Blow up. (honk) Squidward, that's it! (laughing as he runs to the kitchen. Grabs a pack of balloons and makes a Krusty Dog, pumps into it, and squirts mustard on it)

SpongeBob: Beautiful. (gives the customer the Krusty Dog, but there is a cord in it now) Your Krusty Dog, sir, with extra mustard.

Nat: Thanks.

SpongeBob: Can I bring you something else? Okay, I guess not. Wait for it, SpongeBob... wait for it... NOW! (starts pumping air into the Krusty Dog)

Customer #6: Yeah, remember that? That was- Oh, my Neptune! That Krusty Dog is about to explode!

Nat: What? Where? (Krusty Dog explodes and throws the meat at all the other customers, along with screaming. Customers walk out complaining)

SpongeBob: Have a nice day!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what happened in here!? Where are all me customers? What are we gonna do?

SpongeBob: Ooh, I know the answer. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob making Krabby Patties)

Mr. Krabs: Hey, SpongeBob, have you seen Mr. Squidward?

SpongeBob: I think he's outside on his break.

Mr. Krabs: Perfect. And keep them Krabby Patties coming, boy!

SpongeBob: Aye aye, captain! (cut to Squidward in a Krabby Patty costume with a sign saying "THEY'RE BACK!")

Billy: Mom, look, it's a guy dressed as a Krabby Patty.

Billy's Mom: It's never too soon to start picking a good college, Billy. (kicks Squidward)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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