Episode Transcript: Bummer Vacation

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Episode Article: [[Bummer Vacation (Squidward's version) ]]
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Episode Article: [[Bummer Vacation (Episode)|Bummer Vacation]]
  
 
==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
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*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
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*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
*[[Patrick]]
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*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squidward]]
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*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
*[[clary]]
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*[[Gary the Snail|Gary]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
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(episode starts at the Krusty Krab)
  
(at the Krusty Krab)<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward! SpongeBob! Just put me out of me misery.
  
Mr. Krabs: spongebob! squidward Just put me out of my misery.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Why, Mr. Krabs? What can be wrong on such a fine day?
  
squidward: Why, Mr. Krabs? What could be wrong on this fine day?<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Fine?! (grabs SpongeBob's mouth and ties it up) Today's not the day for that word, boy. Not after I received this letter from the Fry Cooks Union. It says here fry cook SpongeBob SquarePants has accumulated too much vacation time. And if
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you don't take some time off, I'll have to pay a fine. (cries)
  
Mr. Krabs: Fine?! (grabs squdward’s shirt and ties it up) Today's not the day for that word, boy. Not after I received this
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'''SpongeBob''': Time off?
letter from the  Union. It says here cash regester squidward tenticles  has accumulated too much vacation time. And if
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you don't take some time off, I'll have to pay a fine. (cries)<br>
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Squidward: Time off?
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, I guess there's no other way to say this-- SpongeBob, take a vacation.
  
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I guess there's no other way to say this...Squidward, take a vacation.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Aye aye, Mr. Krabs. (runs out)
  
Squidward: bye bye!, Mr. Krabs. (runs out)<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, that went better than I expected.
  
Mr. Krabs: Well, that went better than expected.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': (running down the street) I'm ready, vacation. I'm ready, vacation. Vacation. Vacation. (enters his house) Hey, Gary.
  
Squidward: (running down the street) yeHAAAA! im on vacation! for the whole month. (enters his house) Hey,
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'''Gary''': Meow?
clary. That's right, clary, I am home early. I'm on vacation. Well, good night, clary. (walks into his bed and closes his
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eyes for no more than two seconds before his alarm goes off. Scene cuts to him playing his claranet , eating cereal,
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flossing, showering, then putting on some spray to make him shine. He grabs his hat then walks into the Krusty Krab) Good
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morning, Krusty Krew! Hello, Spongebob.<br>
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Spongebob: Squidward, you were on vacation.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': That's right, Gary, I am home early.  I'm on vacation. Well, good night, Gary. Ah, vacation. (walks into his bed and closes his eyes for no more than two seconds before his alarm goes off. Cut to him lifting his weights, eating cereal, flossing and showering) La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la... (puts on some spray to make him shine. Grabs his hat then walks into the Krusty Krab) Good morning, Krusty Krew! And hello, Squidward.
  
Mr. Krabs: (stops Squidward) He was and is. I told you to take a vacation.<br>
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'''Squidward''': I thought you were on vacation.
  
Squidward: What's a vacation.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': (stops SpongeBob) He was and is. I thought I told you to take a vacation, boy.
  
Mr. Krabs: Well, a vacation is when you don't come into work.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': What's a vacation?
  
Squidward: (gasps) No work?! But what'll I do all day?<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, a vacation is when you don't come into work.
  
Mr. Krabs: Oh, I dunno. Just go have fun or whatever. I really don't care. Ya just can't be here.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) No work?! But what'll I do all day?
  
Squidward: But who do the cash regester and  got the change while I'm gone? spongebob can't do it all alone.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, I really don't know. Just go have fun or whatever. I really don't care. You just can't be here.
  
Spongebob: Nor will I.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': But who will fry the patties and clean the grill while I'm gone? Squidward can't do it all alone.
  
Mr. Krabs: That's why I've hired an unpaid intern as your temporary replacement.<br>
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'''Squidward''': Nor will I.
  
Patrick: (walks in) Good morning, boss. I'm ready for my first day to do the cash regester.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': That's why I've hired an unpaid intern as your temporary replacement.
  
Mr. Krabs: Speaking of starfish, here's your replacement right here.<br>
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'''Patrick''': (walks in) Good morning, boss. I'm ready for my first day.
  
Squidward: Replacement?<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Speaking of starfish, here's your replacement right here.
  
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Replacement?
  
Mr. Krabs: That's enough banter on my dime.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob.
  
Patrick: Ok, boss.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': That's quite enough banter on my dime.
  
Mr. Krabs: Wait a second, Patrick. You'll need the right tools for the job. (takes Squidward’s hat  and gives it
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'''Patrick''': OK, boss.
to Patrick)<br>
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Patrick: Wow. (notices his reflection in the cash regester) Huh! They put a tiny me in the money tilt. (scratches his
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Wait a second, Patrick. You'll need the right tools for the job. (takes SpongeBob's hat and spatula and gives it to Patrick)
his back) Wow. plays with money too!<br>
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Mr. Krabs: Ah, take it from me, Squidward. Just go on home. Enjoy your vacation.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Wow. (notices his reflection in the spatula) Huh! They put a tiny me in this belly scratcher. (scratches his belly and his back) Ahh... Ahh... Wow! It scratches backs, too!
  
Squidward: I really should tell Patrick the proper money program technique. (Mr. Krabs shuts the doors in Squidward’s face.
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'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll take it from here, SpongeBob. (shoves SpongeBob out the double-doors) Just go on home. Enjoy your vacation.
Scene cuts to inside Squidward’s house)<br>
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clary: hey squidward.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': I really should show Patrick the proper patty-flipping technique. (Mr. Krabs shuts the doors in SpongeBob's face. Bubble-wipe to inside SpongeBob's house. His face has turned pale)
  
Squidward I'm on vacation, clary. I'm not allowed to go to work. (stomach growls then shrinks. Squidward gasps) My stomach
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'''Gary''': Meow.
has receded! Mr. Krabs said I couldn't work at the Krusty Krab. He didn't say I couldn't eat there. This is my ticket back
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inside! (scene cuts to Krusty Krab)<br>
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spongebob : Go away, Squidward. You're ruining my vacation...from you.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': I'm on vacation, Gary. I am not supposed to go to work. (stomach growls then shrinks. Gasps) My stomach has receded! Mr. Krabs said I couldn't work at the Krusty Krab. He never said I couldn't eat there. This is my ticket back inside! (bubble-wipe to Krusty Krab)
  
Squidward: I'm not here to see you, Spongebob.<br>
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'''Squidward''': Go away, SpongeBob. You're ruining my vacation...from you.
  
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, do we have to go through this again?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': I am not here to see you, Squidward.
  
squidward : I'm here as a customer not as an employee. Just gonna grab a krabby patty with spongebob.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': SpongeBob, do we have to go through that again?
  
Mr. Krabs: Alright, but lunch only. If you so much as touch money, you'll be vacationing in Davey Jones' locker.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': I'm here as a customer only, not an employee. I'm just going to grab a Krabby Patty with Patrick for lunch. (laughs)
  
Squidward: You have my word, sir. No working. (enters kitchen) Hey spongebob , it's time for your lunch  <br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Alright, but lunch only. If you so much as touch a spatuler, you'll be vacationing in Davy Jones' Locker.
  
spongebob:okay squidward ! i am coming<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': You have my word, sir. No working. (enters kitchen) Hey Pat, it's time for your lunch-- (screams as he sees Patrick putting patties wrongly, attached to his body, on the grill) Whoa! Patrick, you can't do that!
  
Patrick: well this is fun<br>
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'''Patrick''': Huh?
  
squidward: You need to turn to my  clary right!<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': You need to turn up the grill to exactly 298 degrees Fahrenheit. (turns the knob to the right from 297 to 298. Takes the spatula) Patrick, this is no way to treat a Krabby Patty.
  
Patrick: this is no way to treat a krabby patty.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': (storms into the kitchen) SpongeBob! What did I tell you before about working?
  
Mr. Krabs: (storms into the kitchen) Squidward ! What did I tell you about working?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Wait, it's not what you think.
  
squidward: Wait, it's not what you think.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': (wheels SpongeBob on a dolly) Out you go, boy.
  
Mr krabs: (wheels SpongeBob on a dolly) Out you go.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': But my knowledge could help Patrick maintain the high standards of the Krusty Krab.
  
Squidward: But my knowledge could help spongebob maintain the high standards of the Krusty Krab.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': We've got it all under control here. I don't ever want to see hide or tail of you again 'til your vacation is over. You got that?
  
Mr.krabs : We've got it all under control here. I don't want to see hide or tail of ya 'til your vacation is over. You got
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'''SpongeBob''': Yes, Mr. Krabs.
that?<br>
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Squidward: Yes, Mr. Krabs.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, boy... (launches SpongeBob off) ...off you go! And don't come back 'til it's over. (SpongeBob floats away. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob entering his house)
  
Mr. Krabs: Well (launches Squidward off) off ya go! And don't come back 'til it's over. (scene cuts to squidward
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, what to do, what to do? I know just the thing to get the spirits up. (cut to a toy Krusty Krab with figures of the Krusty Krew and, for unknown reasons, Patrick. Walks to it) The official [[Krusty Krab Playset]]. (sits down in front of the toy Krusty Krab. Opens it up)
entering his house)<br>
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Squidward: Oh, what to do, what to do. I know just the thing to get the spirits up. The official Krusty Krab playset. (sits
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'''Squidward toy:''' (SpongeBob talks for the toys) SpongeBob, I want 20 Krabby Patties on the double, please.
down in front of a toy Krusty Krab with Krusty Krew figures. Opens it up)<br>
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Spongebob: (Squidward imitating him) SpongeBob, I need 20 krabby patties on the double, please.<br>
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'''SpongeBob toy:''' Sure thing, Mr. Squidward, sir. 20 Krabby Patties coming right up. ("walks" toward the kitchen. A toy Mr. Krabs opens the door)
  
Squidward: Sure thing, squidward, sir. 20 krabby patties coming up.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs toy:''' SpongeBob, what do you think you're doing here? (cut to SpongeBob, still sitting in front of the playset) You're going to cost me some loot if you don't get your square keister home. (cut to the Mr. Krabs toy forcing the SpongeBob toy out of the toy Krusty Krab, for lack of a better term) Out, out, out until your vacation is over. (takes SpongeBob's Krusty Krab hat off as Krabs himself did before and walks back in; the doors then close. Cut to SpongeBob, who looks sad. The SpongeBob toy, controlled by the real SB, "walks" to a toy pineapple house almost exactly like SpongeBob's, also looking sad)
  
Mr. Krabs: (Squidward imitating him) Squidward, what are you doing here? You're gonna cost me some loot if you don't get
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'''SpongeBob toy:''' (walking inside his pineapple) Oh, what to do on this boring vacation? Hey, I know just the thing to get the ol' spirits up. (plays with a smaller Krusty Krab Playset. Cut to the playset, with the real SB seen talking for the toys)
your square keister home. Out, out, out until your vacation is over. (takes Squidward’s krusty hat off. squidward walks
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home, sad)<br>
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Squidward: (walking inside his  house) Oh, what to do on this boring vacation. Hey, I know just the thing to get the ol'  
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'''Squidward toy:''' I want 20 Krabby Patties, please.
spirits up. (plays with a smaller Krusty Krab playset)<br>
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Squidward: (squidward imitating him) I need 20 krabby patties, please.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Sure thing, old buddy, ol' Squid. (cut to SpongeBob, now standing in front of the toy pineapple house, the roof of which is open. Gary is nearby) 20 Krabby Patties coming...
  
Squidward: Sure thing, ol' buddy, ol' Squid. 20 krabby patties coming...<br>
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'''Gary:''' Meow.
  
clary:AGH!<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': You're right, Gary. It is unhealthy to think of the Krusty Krab while I'm on vacation. I need to get out of the
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house. (bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab where Squidward is washing windows until he sees SpongeBob)
  
squidward: You're right, clary. It is unhealthy to think of the Krusty Krab while I'm on vacation. I need to get out of the
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'''Squidward''': Uh, Mr. Krabs, he's out there again.
house. (scene cuts to Krusty Krab where Spongebob is washing windows until he sees Squidward)<br>
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Spongebob: Uh, Mr. Krabs, he's out there again.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': I'll deal with this. Boy, you're on Krusty Krab property. Back it up. (SpongeBob steps backwards) Further. (SpongeBob steps backwards more) Further. (SpongeBob steps backwards more) Further. (SpongeBob steps backwards more) Further. (continues yelling "Further" until SpongeBob is in front of his house) That'll do.
  
Mr. Krabs: I'll deal with this, you're on Krusty Krab property. Back it up. (Squdward steps backwards) Further. (steps
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'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs is right. In order to enjoy my vacation, I need to stay away from work. Physically and mentally. (looks at his net) Hey, that reminds me of...yeah. (his net turns into a spatula. Pretends to grill but stops) Hold it right there, Mr. WorkaholicPants. You're on vacation. You just need to sit down and relax. (floats onto the ground) That's more like it. Just sit back and watch the clouds. (watches a cloud go by, resembling a jellyfish) That one's a jellyfish! (another cloud goes by, resembling a pirate ship) That's a pirate ship. (another cloud goes by. It is the words "Low Salt Ketchup") And that's a low-salt ketchup-- whoa! Low-salt ketchup? (cut to the Krusty Krab where a delivery truck backs up. SpongeBob, in a disguise, walks up to the kitchen door) I got your steaming, hot bun delivery here. (another delivery truck backs up. A delivery fish gets out with the same buns on a plate)
backwards more) Further. (steps backwards more) Further. (steps backwards more) Further. (steps backwards until he is in
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front of his house) That'll do. <br>
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Squidward: Mr. Krabs is right. In order to enjoy my vacation, I need to stay away from work. Physically and mentally. (looks
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'''Delivery Fish''': Eh? What's the big idea here? (SpongeBob laughs nervously then gets booted out. Cut to the phone ringing inside the Krusty Krab. Patrick answers)
at his claranet) Hey, that reminds me of... (his claranet turns into a dollar bill Pretends to go but stops) Hold it right there, Mr.
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Workaholicsquid. You're on vacation. You just need to sit down and relax. (floats onto the ground) That's more like it.
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Just sit back and watch the clouds. (watches a cloud go by) That one's a chair! (another cloud goes by) That's a pirate
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ship. (another cloud goes by) And that's the money tilt  whoa! (scene cuts to Krusty Krab where a
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delivery truck backs up. Squidward, in a disguise, walks up to the kitchen door) Got your steaming, hot bun delivery here.
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(another delivery truck backs up. A delivery fish gets out with the same buns on a plate)<br>
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Delivery Fish: Huh? What's the big idea, here? (Squidward laughs nervously then gets booted out. Scene cuts to the phone
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'''Patrick''': Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? (SpongeBob slips through phone cord and through Patrick's head but shoots himself out of the Krusty Krab, through the doors. Cut to the Krusty Krab restroom where Patrick is cleaning out his ear) Hmm, I didn't even know I had an ear. (notices water splashing out from the toilet behind him) Hey, I just cleaned that one.
ringing inside the Krusty Krab. Patrick answers)<br>
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spongebob: Hello? Hello? Hello? (Squidward slips through phone cord and through spongebob's head but gets shot out of the
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'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, shhh.
Krsuty Krab, through the doors. Scene cuts to the Krusty Krab restroom where spongebob is cleaning out his ear) Huh, I didn't
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even know I had an ear. (notices water splashing out from the toilet behind him) Hey, I just cleaned that one.<br>
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Squidward: spongebob, shhh.<br>
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'''Patrick''': It talks! Ahh! (runs out)
  
spongebob: It talks! Ahh! (runs out)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Somebody help me, I'm stuck. (Mr. Krabs walks up) Mr. Krabs! Thank Neptune it's you. I'm in a bit of a fix here. (Mr. Krabs grabs a cord above the toilet) Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs flushes the toilet) No-o-o-o! (gets flushed down the toilet. Cut to SpongeBob jumping out of a customer's shirt and into the grease fryer in the kitchen) Uh-oh.
  
Squidward: Somebody help me, I'm stuck. (Mr. Krabs walks up) Mr. Krabs! Thank Neptune it's you. I'm in a bit of a fix here.
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Now what? (picks up the fryer) Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. (puts SpongeBob in his boat out back) Had enough for one day, son. (drives off)
(Mr. Krabs grabs a cord above the toilet) Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs flushes the toilet) No! (gets flushed down the toilet. Scene
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cuts to Squidward jumping out of a customers shirt and into the grease fryer in the kitchen)<br>
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Mr. Krabs: Now what? (picks up the fryer) Tsk, tsk, tsk. (puts squidward in his boat out back) I've had enough for one day, . (drives off)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Thanks for the ride home, Mr. Krabs.
  
Squidward: Thanks for the ride home, Mr. Krabs.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Not a problem at all, me boy.
  
Mr. Krabs: Not a problem at all.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Just take the next right. (Mr. Krabs drives past SpongeBob's house) Mr. Krabs, we just passed the turn off.
  
Squidward: Just take the next right. (Mr. Krabs drives past his house) Mr. Krabs, we just passed the turn off.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Uh-huh.
  
Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': My house is back that way, Mr. K.
  
Squidward: My house is back that way, Mr. K.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Far out, little man. Far out. (drives into a forest and stops)
  
Mr. Krabs: Far out, little man. Far out. (drives into a forest and stops)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Where'd you say you were taking me?
  
Squidward: Where'd you say you were taking me?<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Look boy, (takes out a spatula) I brought your spatuler. (SpongeBob glares at the spatula and acts like a dog)
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C'mon, boy, c'mon. Now, get it, boy. Get it. Get the spatuler. Go get it! (throws the spatula into the forest. SpongeBob chases after it while Mr. Krabs turns around and drives off) Enjoy your vacation, boy!
  
Mr. Krabs: Look boy, (takes out a dollar) I brought your money. (Squidward glares at the dollar and acts like a dog)
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'''SpongeBob''': It's not fair. Why would Mr. Krabs try so hard to get rid of me. I'm only on vacation. Unless, it's a... (gasps) ...permanent vacation. That's it! Mr. Krabs wants to replace me. Oh, I should've known. Patrick's had his eye on my
C'mon, boy, get it. Get the dollar. Go get it! (throws the dollar  into the forest. Squidward chases after it while Mr.  
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job all along. He's been scheming. They think I'm outdated. They think I'm all washed up. Well, I'll show them. (cut to Patrick running down the street to his rock)
Krabs turns around and drives off) Enjoy your vacation!<br>
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squidward : It's not fair. Why would Mr. Krabs try so hard to get rid of me. I'm only on vacation. Unless, it's a...
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'''Patrick''': (singing) Working at the Krusty Krab. Making Krabby Patties all day. Flipping Krusty Krab working. Patties Krab...that's a hard song to remember. (opens his rock and jumps in) Huh?
(gasps) ...permanent vacation. That's it! Mr. Krabs wants to replace me. Oh, I should've known. Patrick's had his eye on my
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job all along. He's been scheming. They think I'm outdated. They think I'm all washed up. Well, I'll show them. (scene cuts
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to Patrick running down the street to his rock)<br>
+
  
Patrick: Working at the Krusty Krab. Making money all day. working hard uhh, that's  
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'''SpongeBob''': (sitting in the corner of Patrick's rock) Who do they think they are? I gave the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire me like that? Like trash? I don't think so.
a hard song to remember. (opens his rock and jumps in) Huh?
+
  
Squidward: (sitting in the corner of Patrick's rock) Who do they think they are? I gave the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire like that? Like trash? I don't think so.<br>
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'''Patrick''': SpongeBob? Is that you?
  
Patrick: squidward? Is that you?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': (turns around with an crazy look on his face) I've been waiting for you, Patrick! (walks towards Patrick and growls like a monster. Patrick backs away in fright)
  
Squidward: (turns around with an evil look on his face) I've been waiting for you, Patrick. (walks towards Patrick, growling)<br>
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'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, you're scaring me. (screams. SpongeBob laughs maniacally and closes in around Patrick. Cut to the Krusty Krab)
  
Patrick: Squidward, you're scaring me. Ahh! (Squidward laughs maniacally and closes in around Patrick. Scene cuts to Krusty Krab)<br>
+
'''Squidward''': What'll it be?
  
Customer: One krabby patty, please.<br>
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'''Customer''': One Krabby Patty, please.
  
mr krabs: One shell on a shingle. (many orders come out)<br>
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'''Squidward''': One shell on a shingle. (many orders come out)
  
Mr. Krabs: Well, I'll be...Patrick! Your program is solved . Congratulations, boy, you've finally got the  
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, I'll be...Patrick! Your cooking's improved one-thousand fold. Congratulations, boy, you've finally got the hang of it. Whoa...! (Patrick turns around; it's SpongeBob, disguised in a Patrick costume) SpongeBob? No wonder. Patrick could never flip that many patties in an hour. What happened to that feller, anyway?
hang of it. (Patrick turns around but it'squidward  in a Patrick costume) Squidward? No wonder. Patrick could never pay
+
that in an hour. What happen to that feller, anyway?<br>
+
  
Squidward: Oh, I told him to stay home and watch television. (Patrick is sitting at home watching a broken TV)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I specifically told him to stay home and watch television. (Patrick is sitting at home laughing and watching a broken TV)
  
Mr. Krabs: Why'd you do it?<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Why'd you do it, laddy?
  
Squidward: (starts to cry) Oh, Mr Krabs, I love the money tilt  so bad, I just couldn't stay away please get my job back.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': (starts to cry) Oh, Mr. Krabs, I love the putrid grease of the Krusty Krab so much, I just couldn't stay away.
  
Mr. Krabs: You don't have to. (takes out a calendar) Your accumulated vacation time is used up. (tears up calendar) The  
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'''Mr. Krabs''': You don't have to. (takes out a calendar) Your accumulated vacation time is all used up. (tears up calendar) The union can't fine me, anymore.
union can't fine me, anymore.<br>
+
  
Squidward: You must've saved a fortune.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': You must've saved a fortune.
  
Mr. Krabs: Bumping barnacles, yes. (laughs and holds up a dime) There she is.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Bumping barnacles, yes. (laughs and holds up a dime) And there she is.
  
Squidward: Wow! That's more than I make in a year.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Wow! That's more than I make in a year.
  
Mr. Krabs: Don't be askin me for a raise. Just get back to work.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't be askin' me for a raise. Just get back to work.
  
Squidward: (jumps out of the Patrick costume) Yippee! I happily acquiesce.
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'''SpongeBob''': (jumps out of the Patrick costume) Yippee! I happily acquiesce.
  
 
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Latest revision as of 21:02, 7 October 2024

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Once Bitten Wigstruck

Episode Article: Bummer Vacation

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(episode starts at the Krusty Krab)

Mr. Krabs: Squidward! SpongeBob! Just put me out of me misery.

SpongeBob: Why, Mr. Krabs? What can be wrong on such a fine day?

Mr. Krabs: Fine?! (grabs SpongeBob's mouth and ties it up) Today's not the day for that word, boy. Not after I received this letter from the Fry Cooks Union. It says here fry cook SpongeBob SquarePants has accumulated too much vacation time. And if you don't take some time off, I'll have to pay a fine. (cries)

SpongeBob: Time off?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I guess there's no other way to say this-- SpongeBob, take a vacation.

SpongeBob: Aye aye, Mr. Krabs. (runs out)

Mr. Krabs: Well, that went better than I expected.

SpongeBob: (running down the street) I'm ready, vacation. I'm ready, vacation. Vacation. Vacation. (enters his house) Hey, Gary.

Gary: Meow?

SpongeBob: That's right, Gary, I am home early. I'm on vacation. Well, good night, Gary. Ah, vacation. (walks into his bed and closes his eyes for no more than two seconds before his alarm goes off. Cut to him lifting his weights, eating cereal, flossing and showering) La-la, la-la, la-la-la-la... (puts on some spray to make him shine. Grabs his hat then walks into the Krusty Krab) Good morning, Krusty Krew! And hello, Squidward.

Squidward: I thought you were on vacation.

Mr. Krabs: (stops SpongeBob) He was and is. I thought I told you to take a vacation, boy.

SpongeBob: What's a vacation?

Mr. Krabs: Well, a vacation is when you don't come into work.

SpongeBob: (gasps) No work?! But what'll I do all day?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, I really don't know. Just go have fun or whatever. I really don't care. You just can't be here.

SpongeBob: But who will fry the patties and clean the grill while I'm gone? Squidward can't do it all alone.

Squidward: Nor will I.

Mr. Krabs: That's why I've hired an unpaid intern as your temporary replacement.

Patrick: (walks in) Good morning, boss. I'm ready for my first day.

Mr. Krabs: Speaking of starfish, here's your replacement right here.

SpongeBob: Replacement?

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob.

Mr. Krabs: That's quite enough banter on my dime.

Patrick: OK, boss.

Mr. Krabs: Wait a second, Patrick. You'll need the right tools for the job. (takes SpongeBob's hat and spatula and gives it to Patrick)

Patrick: Wow. (notices his reflection in the spatula) Huh! They put a tiny me in this belly scratcher. (scratches his belly and his back) Ahh... Ahh... Wow! It scratches backs, too!

Mr. Krabs: I'll take it from here, SpongeBob. (shoves SpongeBob out the double-doors) Just go on home. Enjoy your vacation.

SpongeBob: I really should show Patrick the proper patty-flipping technique. (Mr. Krabs shuts the doors in SpongeBob's face. Bubble-wipe to inside SpongeBob's house. His face has turned pale)

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: I'm on vacation, Gary. I am not supposed to go to work. (stomach growls then shrinks. Gasps) My stomach has receded! Mr. Krabs said I couldn't work at the Krusty Krab. He never said I couldn't eat there. This is my ticket back inside! (bubble-wipe to Krusty Krab)

Squidward: Go away, SpongeBob. You're ruining my vacation...from you.

SpongeBob: I am not here to see you, Squidward.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, do we have to go through that again?

SpongeBob: I'm here as a customer only, not an employee. I'm just going to grab a Krabby Patty with Patrick for lunch. (laughs)

Mr. Krabs: Alright, but lunch only. If you so much as touch a spatuler, you'll be vacationing in Davy Jones' Locker.

SpongeBob: You have my word, sir. No working. (enters kitchen) Hey Pat, it's time for your lunch-- (screams as he sees Patrick putting patties wrongly, attached to his body, on the grill) Whoa! Patrick, you can't do that!

Patrick: Huh?

SpongeBob: You need to turn up the grill to exactly 298 degrees Fahrenheit. (turns the knob to the right from 297 to 298. Takes the spatula) Patrick, this is no way to treat a Krabby Patty.

Mr. Krabs: (storms into the kitchen) SpongeBob! What did I tell you before about working?

SpongeBob: Wait, it's not what you think.

Mr. Krabs: (wheels SpongeBob on a dolly) Out you go, boy.

SpongeBob: But my knowledge could help Patrick maintain the high standards of the Krusty Krab.

Mr. Krabs: We've got it all under control here. I don't ever want to see hide or tail of you again 'til your vacation is over. You got that?

SpongeBob: Yes, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Well, boy... (launches SpongeBob off) ...off you go! And don't come back 'til it's over. (SpongeBob floats away. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob entering his house)

SpongeBob: Oh, what to do, what to do? I know just the thing to get the spirits up. (cut to a toy Krusty Krab with figures of the Krusty Krew and, for unknown reasons, Patrick. Walks to it) The official Krusty Krab Playset. (sits down in front of the toy Krusty Krab. Opens it up)

Squidward toy: (SpongeBob talks for the toys) SpongeBob, I want 20 Krabby Patties on the double, please.

SpongeBob toy: Sure thing, Mr. Squidward, sir. 20 Krabby Patties coming right up. ("walks" toward the kitchen. A toy Mr. Krabs opens the door)

Mr. Krabs toy: SpongeBob, what do you think you're doing here? (cut to SpongeBob, still sitting in front of the playset) You're going to cost me some loot if you don't get your square keister home. (cut to the Mr. Krabs toy forcing the SpongeBob toy out of the toy Krusty Krab, for lack of a better term) Out, out, out until your vacation is over. (takes SpongeBob's Krusty Krab hat off as Krabs himself did before and walks back in; the doors then close. Cut to SpongeBob, who looks sad. The SpongeBob toy, controlled by the real SB, "walks" to a toy pineapple house almost exactly like SpongeBob's, also looking sad)

SpongeBob toy: (walking inside his pineapple) Oh, what to do on this boring vacation? Hey, I know just the thing to get the ol' spirits up. (plays with a smaller Krusty Krab Playset. Cut to the playset, with the real SB seen talking for the toys)

Squidward toy: I want 20 Krabby Patties, please.

SpongeBob: Sure thing, old buddy, ol' Squid. (cut to SpongeBob, now standing in front of the toy pineapple house, the roof of which is open. Gary is nearby) 20 Krabby Patties coming...

Gary: Meow.

SpongeBob: You're right, Gary. It is unhealthy to think of the Krusty Krab while I'm on vacation. I need to get out of the house. (bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab where Squidward is washing windows until he sees SpongeBob)

Squidward: Uh, Mr. Krabs, he's out there again.

Mr. Krabs: I'll deal with this. Boy, you're on Krusty Krab property. Back it up. (SpongeBob steps backwards) Further. (SpongeBob steps backwards more) Further. (SpongeBob steps backwards more) Further. (SpongeBob steps backwards more) Further. (continues yelling "Further" until SpongeBob is in front of his house) That'll do.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs is right. In order to enjoy my vacation, I need to stay away from work. Physically and mentally. (looks at his net) Hey, that reminds me of...yeah. (his net turns into a spatula. Pretends to grill but stops) Hold it right there, Mr. WorkaholicPants. You're on vacation. You just need to sit down and relax. (floats onto the ground) That's more like it. Just sit back and watch the clouds. (watches a cloud go by, resembling a jellyfish) That one's a jellyfish! (another cloud goes by, resembling a pirate ship) That's a pirate ship. (another cloud goes by. It is the words "Low Salt Ketchup") And that's a low-salt ketchup-- whoa! Low-salt ketchup? (cut to the Krusty Krab where a delivery truck backs up. SpongeBob, in a disguise, walks up to the kitchen door) I got your steaming, hot bun delivery here. (another delivery truck backs up. A delivery fish gets out with the same buns on a plate)

Delivery Fish: Eh? What's the big idea here? (SpongeBob laughs nervously then gets booted out. Cut to the phone ringing inside the Krusty Krab. Patrick answers)

Patrick: Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? (SpongeBob slips through phone cord and through Patrick's head but shoots himself out of the Krusty Krab, through the doors. Cut to the Krusty Krab restroom where Patrick is cleaning out his ear) Hmm, I didn't even know I had an ear. (notices water splashing out from the toilet behind him) Hey, I just cleaned that one.

SpongeBob: Patrick, shhh.

Patrick: It talks! Ahh! (runs out)

SpongeBob: Somebody help me, I'm stuck. (Mr. Krabs walks up) Mr. Krabs! Thank Neptune it's you. I'm in a bit of a fix here. (Mr. Krabs grabs a cord above the toilet) Mr. Krabs? (Mr. Krabs flushes the toilet) No-o-o-o! (gets flushed down the toilet. Cut to SpongeBob jumping out of a customer's shirt and into the grease fryer in the kitchen) Uh-oh.

Mr. Krabs: Now what? (picks up the fryer) Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. (puts SpongeBob in his boat out back) Had enough for one day, son. (drives off)

SpongeBob: Thanks for the ride home, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Not a problem at all, me boy.

SpongeBob: Just take the next right. (Mr. Krabs drives past SpongeBob's house) Mr. Krabs, we just passed the turn off.

Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh.

SpongeBob: My house is back that way, Mr. K.

Mr. Krabs: Far out, little man. Far out. (drives into a forest and stops)

SpongeBob: Where'd you say you were taking me?

Mr. Krabs: Look boy, (takes out a spatula) I brought your spatuler. (SpongeBob glares at the spatula and acts like a dog) C'mon, boy, c'mon. Now, get it, boy. Get it. Get the spatuler. Go get it! (throws the spatula into the forest. SpongeBob chases after it while Mr. Krabs turns around and drives off) Enjoy your vacation, boy!

SpongeBob: It's not fair. Why would Mr. Krabs try so hard to get rid of me. I'm only on vacation. Unless, it's a... (gasps) ...permanent vacation. That's it! Mr. Krabs wants to replace me. Oh, I should've known. Patrick's had his eye on my job all along. He's been scheming. They think I'm outdated. They think I'm all washed up. Well, I'll show them. (cut to Patrick running down the street to his rock)

Patrick: (singing) Working at the Krusty Krab. Making Krabby Patties all day. Flipping Krusty Krab working. Patties Krab...that's a hard song to remember. (opens his rock and jumps in) Huh?

SpongeBob: (sitting in the corner of Patrick's rock) Who do they think they are? I gave the best years of my life to this place and they think they can just fire me like that? Like trash? I don't think so.

Patrick: SpongeBob? Is that you?

SpongeBob: (turns around with an crazy look on his face) I've been waiting for you, Patrick! (walks towards Patrick and growls like a monster. Patrick backs away in fright)

Patrick: SpongeBob, you're scaring me. (screams. SpongeBob laughs maniacally and closes in around Patrick. Cut to the Krusty Krab)

Squidward: What'll it be?

Customer: One Krabby Patty, please.

Squidward: One shell on a shingle. (many orders come out)

Mr. Krabs: Well, I'll be...Patrick! Your cooking's improved one-thousand fold. Congratulations, boy, you've finally got the hang of it. Whoa...! (Patrick turns around; it's SpongeBob, disguised in a Patrick costume) SpongeBob? No wonder. Patrick could never flip that many patties in an hour. What happened to that feller, anyway?

SpongeBob: Oh, I specifically told him to stay home and watch television. (Patrick is sitting at home laughing and watching a broken TV)

Mr. Krabs: Why'd you do it, laddy?

SpongeBob: (starts to cry) Oh, Mr. Krabs, I love the putrid grease of the Krusty Krab so much, I just couldn't stay away.

Mr. Krabs: You don't have to. (takes out a calendar) Your accumulated vacation time is all used up. (tears up calendar) The union can't fine me, anymore.

SpongeBob: You must've saved a fortune.

Mr. Krabs: Bumping barnacles, yes. (laughs and holds up a dime) And there she is.

SpongeBob: Wow! That's more than I make in a year.

Mr. Krabs: Don't be askin' me for a raise. Just get back to work.

SpongeBob: (jumps out of the Patrick costume) Yippee! I happily acquiesce.


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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