Episode Transcript: Penny Foolish

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    * SpongeBob
+
Episode Article: [[Penny Foolish (Episode)|Penny Foolish]]
    * Plankton
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    * Mr. Krabs
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    * Squidward
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    * Karen
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    * Patrick
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    * Police
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 +
==Characters==
 +
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
 +
*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
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*[[Squidward Tentacles|Squidward]]
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*[[Gary]]
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*[[Billy]]
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*[[Frank (cameo character)|Frank]]
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*[[Fred]]
  
Dialogue
+
==Dialogue==
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(episode starts at the Discount Grocery Mart. Mr. Krabs places a basket of items on the counter and the Saleslady scans them)
  
The episode begins in front of the Bikini Bottom Jail. The weather is thunder storming badly, and then we come inside to find 2 police officers.
+
'''Saleslady''': Price check on industrial size econo pack of raw fiber.
  
Police Officer #1: ...and this is the maximum level. Since this is your first day, I'll let you peek at our number one inmate. (He begins to whisper... you see them walk into a huge room that the floor is just a thin line and a huge jail cell in the middle of it.) He's too dangerous to let him around the other inmates.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Ah, it goes in like steel wool, but comes out like an angel from heaven.
  
Police Officer #2: Why? What he'd do? Rob a bank?
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'''Saleslady''': Please, tell me more.
  
Police Officer #1: Worse! He'd tried to steal the Krabby Patty formula.
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Ooh, well, this one time I...
  
Police Officer #2: Oh-kay.
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'''Saleslady''': Not really!
  
Police Officer #1: So that's why we keep him behind these impenatratable 6-inch steel doors. (While he says that, he knocks on the door and the door opens.) Of course, it helps to lock it. (They both run into the cell.) He's gone! He's so small, he could be anywhere!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': I didn't think so. Ooh wait, I almost forgot me coupons! (hands lady a lot of coupons) There's a couple double ones in there too.
  
Police Officer #2: He could be right under our noses! (Camera goes to Police Officer #1's moustache; the moustache then jumps off of the guy's face, running away) Umm... Frank, where's your moustache? (Camera changes to the siren outside of the jail and we see spotlights everywhere to find him. We see the moustache run through the halls and then under the door. We then notice that it's Plankton under it.)
+
'''Saleslady''': Sir, these expired over thirty years ago.
  
Plankton: Ha-ha! Those fools will never find me now! (We all notice that the moustache makes him have a "punk" like hair style. Scene changes to in front of the Chum Bucket, where Plankton is talking to his wife.) Oh come on, baby. You know how long I've been in stir.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': What does that mean?
  
Karen: Get out! (Literally kicks Plankton out of the Chum Bucket.) And stay out! You two time loser!
+
'''Saleslady''': It means they're no good. Sir, I'll just throw those away for you.
  
Plankton: After everything I've done for you.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': No, wait! I'll take 'em.
  
Karen: BEAT IT, YOU JAIL BIRD, AND TAKE ALL OF YOUR JUNK, TOO! (She kicks out a box of his stuff out of the Chum Bucket too. Plankton tries to struggle out under of the box)
+
'''Saleslady''': Okay sir, your change stay is going to be exactly ten cents.
  
Plankton: Well, that's just great. (Plankton notices his Electric Guitar.) Hey! Its my old guitar. I used to play it, when I was in that band, as a kid. Man, those were good times. (A flashback starts and it shows Plankton in a 2 year old bedroom. His electric guitar is shown with a drum set and a guitar being "played" by his stuffed animals.) Okay everybody! One two... one two three! (You see Plankton try to play it and you see the rest of them doing nothing, as they were stuffed animals. His cocoa falls over and you see him annoyed. Then the flashback ends.) You know, I don't think I've had any good times.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Come to Papa! Come to Papa! (two nickels slide out) Yay! Two nickels. (laughs, then gasps as he notices SpongeBob walking on the street) Hey, that's SpongeBob out there! (SpongeBob does some weird things) What in blue blazes is that boy up to? (SpongeBob points to something that appears to be a penny, then picks it up) Well, I'll be a jerracter jellyfish! SpongeBob found a penny! A bright shiny penny just sitting there, and he picked it right up! Huh, I can remember the whole thing as if it just happened a moment ago. (Mr. Krabs imagines what just happened)
  
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob's voice can be heard. A few seconds later, you see him on the street behind Plankton singing a song.)
+
'''SpongeBob''' (in the thought bubble): Sir, Sir... (is actually Saleslady)
  
Oh I wish I was grinding up the Krabby Patties.
+
'''Saleslady''': ...Sir.
That's what I really love to do.
+
Take a couple Boo-Ooh-Ooh!
+
And a pinch of Awoogah!
+
A teaspoon of *raspberry*
+
  
Gerblish*
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'''Mr. Krabs''': What?
  
Then I mix some of this and put it over there,
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'''Saleslady''': You're holding up the line.
as I write this song.
+
Mix in some...
+
Nyah-Nyah-Nyah!
+
Add a splash of wee...
+
(*takes out giant knife*)
+
And when I'm done, I chop up some
+
Oh. Oh-oh, Oh-oh...
+
  
Plankton: (Listens to SpongeBob's song and then talks during the "Then I mis some of..." line.) He's sing about the Krabby Patty. If I could just get him to explain that song, I'll have the Krabby Patty formula. Mix in some... Hi, SpongeBob. Nyah-Nyah-Nyah That's a real nice song. Add a splash of wee... But could you explain those "wee" parts? And when I'm done, I chop up some Gahh! (Plankton runs from the knife being tossed on the ground. The song ends.) Are you out of your mind? Er, I mean, that was a delightful song you were singing.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Ooh, I am?
  
SpongeBob: Thanks, Plankton. (SpongeBob waves at Plankton) Mr. Krabs makes me censor out all the patty ingredients from my lyrics.
+
'''Saleslady''': Next please. (bubble-wipe to night where Mr. Krabs is driving his boat)
  
Plankton: Oh, that's terrible. Krabs shouldn't stifle a true artist like you! Go ahead and sing your patty song uncensored!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Interesting how things work out that way. Some folks just walk along and stumble over free money, while others, others, they work! (there's another car next to his and hearing gibberish from Mr. Krabs)
  
SpongeBob: (*gasps*) I know what you're doing!
+
'''Billy''': Hey mommy, look at that weird guy in the car over there!
  
Plankton: What, me? I'm not trying to steal the patty formula!
+
'''Billy's Mom''': Billy, mommy's watching the road right now.
  
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob points at Plankton.) You want me to... join your band!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': I mean why couldn't I have just walked along and found it? I have legs too you know! (sighs) How about a little music. Let song. (cut to the music dial, which turns into a penny) Oh! Okay, okay, get a grip Krabs. Just concentrate on driving. Race in minture-- (steering wheel turns into a penny as well. Screams and lets go of it, then holds it again) Okay, getting all worked up over a little coin. Awesome penny great. (laughs) Ah, it must just be the full moon. Wait a second. Oh my first come is... (moon turns into a penny. Screams) I gotta have that penny! (bubble-wipe to the next day at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob walks in) Good morning SpongeBob.
  
Plankton: What band? I don't have a band.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Good morning, Mr. Krabs.
  
SpongeBob: Oh, but you can't fool me! Not when you got an awesome guitar like that! And only a true rocker would have hair as greasy and nasty as yours. It'll be so cool! We could write songs together!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Find anything special lately?
  
Plankton: Songs? (Plankton smiles with a brilliant idea.) Yes! And you can teach me your Krabby Patty songs!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yes!
  
SpongeBob: Yay! Come on, let's go get our band together! (Scene changes to in front of Squidward's house. SpongeBob is holding Plankton's guitar and Plankton is on it. SpongeBob and Patrick starts yelling in excitement.) Patrick, Patrick!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Really?
  
Patrick: SpongeBob, SpongeBob!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yup!
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, I've got big news!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': And you want to share it with your old uncle Krabs, don't you boy?
  
Patrick: Me too! Me too!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Of course!
  
SpongeBob: What's your news?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Great! Well, share it with me!
  
Patrick: (Both calm down.) I found out where boogers come from. (Patrick whispers into SpongeBob's ears indistinctly, and tells him where they come from. SpongeBob is shocked, but then is a little grossed out.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': (laughs) I already am sharing it with you, Mr. Krabs.
  
SpongeBob: Ew, really?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Wha.. What?
  
Patrick: (Nods in agreement.) Uh-huh. What's your news?
+
'''SpongeBob''': The thing I found was a bright, shiny, new...Day! Well I'll be in the kitchen if you need me. (talking to Squidward) Good morning Squidward.
  
SpongeBob: Plankton just asked me to join his Rock-N-Roll band! (Gets excited again, and asks Plankton...) Can Patrick join our band?
+
'''Squidward''': Don't talk to me.
  
Plankton: Sure, whatever.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs seems to be in a good mood today.
  
SpongeBob: Hear that, Patrick. You're in.
+
'''Squidward''': That counts as talking. (SpongeBob walks into the kitchen, and Mr. Krabs is in there)
  
Patrick: All right! I play a mean belly. (He starts playing to the tune of, "The William Tell Overture", and his belly sounds like a drum set. It ends, and he bows at Plankton and SpongeBob.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Whoa! Hello again, Mr. Krabs.
  
SpongeBob: Wow, Patrick, we're gonna be famous! (SpongeBob hugs Patrick while still holding onto the guitar, and they hear Squidward laughing. Squidward walks towards them and talks.)
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Hello, SpongeBob.
  
Squidward: Give me a break. You don't know anything about music! Too bad you're not a musical genius, like me.
+
'''SpongeBob''': What can I do you for?
  
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob gets an idea.) Oh, Squidward... (SpongeBob trips Squidward over by holding his legs down on the ground. Squidward says "What the...".) Would you help us by joining our band?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Can I borrow a penny?
  
Squidward: (Squidward gets up.) Well, I could help you, but I wouldn't soil my art playing Rock-N-Roll; dressing all in black, wearing boots covered in spikes, (as he continues, he imagine that it's worth it, and slowly changes his mind) playing enormous stadiums filled with screaming, adoring fans... (Squidward smiles to the idea) clapping, demanding encores... cheering me... (He imitates cheering... stops after a few seconds.) Oh, uh, changed my mind. I'll join your band and help you bottom-feeders, (bursts out rest of the line) BUT I gotta get in shape first! (Squidward leaves to his house.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': A penny? Sure. (checks his pocket) Hmm, sorry. All out of pennies right now.
  
SpongeBob: Isn't this great, Plankton? Squidward is gonna help us!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': But did you check all your pockets?
  
Plankton: Hmm? Uh yea, great. (Bubble transition appears and the scene changes to SpongeBob and Patrick in SpongeBob's garage. We see SpongeBob in an 80's Rock-N-Roll outfit, with an afro wig.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Well, I thought I did.
  
SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, being in a band gives you the liberty to dress with a little more... uh, how should I put this?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Front pockets? (SpongeBob checks them)
  
Patrick: Yeah?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hmm, No.
  
SpongeBob: Well, with just a little more...
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Back? (SpongeBob checks)
  
Patrick: (Furious) Go ahead, say it, SpongeBob!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hmm-mm.
  
SpongeBob: You know, Pizzazz!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Shirt pockets? (SpongeBob checks)
  
Patrick: (Clears throat and continues) Perhaps you didn't notice... my new hairdo.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Nuh-uh.
  
SpongeBob (SpongeBob looks behind him and Patrick has a ponytail hairstyle.) Whoa-ho-ho, I stand corrected!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Shoe pockets?
  
Patrick: And unlike your nasty, little wig... (He pulls of SpongeBob's wig) mine is real! (He shows it by pulling it and it doesn't come off.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': (laughs) Shoe pockets. Oh, Mr. Krabs, that is just ridiculous.
  
SpongeBob: Man, how'd you grow that so fast?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': It is?
  
Patrick: Natural talent, watch this... (Patrick shows that he can make his hair come in and out of his skin and make it in any hairdo he wants.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Well, I do have a tie pocket though. (checks that pocket) No, not in there either.
  
SpongeBob: Whoo, yeah! (SpongeBob claps) Dig that fancy follicle work!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey, maybe it fell in your sock.
  
Patrick: Hey, check this one out. (Patrick does the trick again, but this time, he makes it an "old guy's" hairdo.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Well, I...
  
SpongeBob: Oh man, Squidward's not gonna want to miss this. (SpongeBob calls Squidward)
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Did you check there? (holds SpongeBob upside down, and shakes him. SpongeBob's brain falls out) Uhh?
  
Squidward: Hello?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hey, look, it's my brain! (brain grows legs and walks away) Hey, where's it going? (brain falls though a crack) Ooh, there. (brain crawls on Squidward, and SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs follow it. They find it under a barrel) Aha! (brain squirts liquid at him. Laughs) Not so fast, little guy. There now. Yes, I know. Come here. (brain crawls back into SpongeBob's head)
  
SpongeBob: Squidward, aren't you coming to band practice?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Uhh?
  
Squidward: Are you kidding? I've got a lot of work to do before I'm famous! (Shows Squidward about to exercise... Squidward tries to, but breaks an unknown part. Squidward hangs up, and we hear a dial tone)
+
'''SpongeBob''': What's the matter Mr. Krabs? Didn't you know I was a brain whisperer?
  
SpongeBob: (Laughs) Ok, then, we'll keep your seat warm. (SpongeBob snaps once) Patrick?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': So, uhh, no penny, huh?
  
Patrick: I'm on it. (It shows Patrick making a fire under his seat to keep it warm. Plankton finally comes in the garage. He's carrying a box.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Nope.
  
Plankton: Greetings, fellow band-mates.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Darn! (bubble-wipe to later when SpongeBob is mopping, and hears a noise)
  
SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton, what's that?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward, these definite construction sounds are preventing me from working.
  
Plankton: (Plankton puts the box down) T-shirts.
+
'''Squidward''': Me too.
  
(Next 2 lines are said at the same time)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Do you think we should walk out back to investigate?
  
SpongeBob: (Gasps) Patrick: Ooh! Both: Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy... (Both laugh)
+
'''Squidward''': Never. (SpongeBob and Squidward are now walking out back)
  
SpongeBob: Ah, (SpongeBob begins to be confused) "Plankton and the... Patty Stealers"?
+
'''SpongeBob''': The sounds are coming from back here. What the? (a movie theater is being built)
  
Plankton: (Starts to sweat manically) Uh, if you guys don't like the name, uh...
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Careful with those marquee ladders!
  
SpongeBob: I... LOVE IT! It's kind of vague and mysterious.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Mr. Krabs, you made your own movie theater!
  
Patrick: Can I get mine in Pink? (Plankton growls. The scene skips to where they're wearing the shirt and Patrick laughs. Patrick's shirt color makes his skin perfectly.) It looks like a tattoo!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Yes I did.
  
SpongeBob: Hey, Plankton, can our first song go like this? (SpongeBob makes some loud music with voice) And then turn into one of those songs that goes... (SpongeBob makes a high pitched screech.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yay!
  
Plankton: (He's annoyed both times by covering his ears, and then resumes to his normal attitude.) Yes, perfect, now all we need are the lyrics. You know something personal. Maybe a secret you know, or a favorite recipe, hmm?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': And you're just in time for the grand opening! (pulls a lever that turns on the electricity on) Step right up folks, and witness a spell binding tale chock full of adventure, and action, and thrills... (he is talking gibberish as two fish walk up)
  
SpongeBob: Or... one about my new friend Plankton?
+
'''Frank''': You know, I'm not really hungry.
  
(Next 2 lines are said together.) Plankton: Stop it! (Growls after SpongeBob stops) SpongeBob: Or the adventures of...
+
'''Fred''': Yeah, let's go see what this fat guy is yelling about.
  
Plankton: (Plankton clips SpongeBob's lips with a tool) The best kind of lyrics are the ones that are deep and revealing. Something only you know? *coughs* Secret recipe.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': ...witness the terrifying challenges overcome by... by...
  
Patrick: I once searched for my innermost secrets. All I found was this. (Patrick shows that he's holding his heart.)
+
'''Fred''': By who?
  
SpongeBob: (Still muffled) Is that what you mean, Plankton? (Plankton slaps his head with annoyance. Scene skips to later that day when Plankton has a machine in the garage. He grunts as he carries it.) What is that?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': by a... by a pucky young sponge.
  
Plankton: It's my, uh, recording equipment. (He then laughs evilly)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Just like me!
  
SpongeBob: (Becomes really excited) Oh, my gosh, what do I do?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': That's right! And the best part is: admission is only one penny!
  
Plankton: (He scoots a chair next to SpongeBob) Just take a seat here, and I'll strap you in. (SpongeBob sits down, Plankton straps SpongeBob's arms on the chair and puts a pair of headphones on SpongeBob.) Now just relax and let the equipment do its job. (Machine starts to beep and make sucking noises. On the headphone wire, you can tell that it's sucking SpongeBob's brain.) Let let's see what's locked in his subconscious. (The machine makes static crackles. When Plankton finds a "station" on the radio, SpongeBob is the speaker. SpongeBob sings songs just like a radio.)
+
'''Squidward''': Does a movie like that even exist?
  
The song is in tune with, "Oh My Darlin'".
+
'''Fred''': Yeah, does it?!
  
Time to feed him
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Uhh, well, actually I was going to show you this flip book and...
Time to feed him
+
Now it's Gary's feeding time.
+
Mrow mrow meow, mrow mrow meow.  
+
  
(While SpongeBob sings the last song, Plankton says, "Nope" and changes the station. More static and we hear a new song.)
+
'''Squidward''': A flip book?
  
The song is in tune with, "Row Your Boat".
+
'''Fred''': Yeah, I don't even know what that is! (everyone walks away)
  
Brush, Brush, Brush My Teeth,
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': No, wait. Noooooooo!
Gently keep them clean
+
  
(Plankton interrupts, his time, he ends the song. More static is heard.) The Krabby Patty Formula's gotta be in here somewhere. (The machine makes a dead beeping noise and feedback noises to Plankton. He smacks the machine, says "What's going-" and then screams only to realize that Patrick is wearing the headphones. Patrick goans, and the machine explodes. Plankton starts crying.) I'm a failure.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs, can I see the movie now? Please?
  
SpongeBob: Cheer up, Plankton. We've still got a whole week before our first gig at the Krusty Krab. (Plankton still cries.)
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Of course, you can, lad! You just gotta give me one penny.
  
Plankton: At the Krusty Krab? (Plankton stops crying.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': But, but...
  
SpongeBob: Uh-huh, but Old Man Krabs doesn't want us bugging the customers. So, we have to go in after hours when nobody's there.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': But what?
  
Plankton: (His spirits are lifted.) When nobody's there? (Plankton makes a purring noise with drool coming out of his mouth at the thought of it. The scene is skipped to where they start practicing. SpongeBob is playing Plankton's guitar, Patrick is doing his drums, and Plankton, not very excited, plays only one note on his mini-keyboard. The camera is moved to outside in front of Squidward and SpongeBob's house, then it's moved where we see Squidward exercising. He makes one more and he has huge muscles. He gasps at it.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': But, I really don't have a penny.  
  
Squidward: My perfect dream-body. (Squidward runs out of his house with his bass guitar and goes into SpongeBob's house to practice. They then make noises that sound like they're practicing. A time card comes up and says "One Week Later..." The scene is skipped where the 4 of them are heading towards the Krusty Krab at nighttime. They're all wearing their Rock-N- Roll outfits. We hear from a distance, tire screeching. We then notice it's a police car.)
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': But? But?! BUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT?! (screams, and then demolishes the movie theater. Bubble-wipe to night where SpongeBob is walking to the Krusty Krab)
  
Plankton: Oh, no, it's the cops. I can't let them see me!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Huh, that's too bad. I really wanted to see that movie. Oh well. (Squidward is dressed like a waiter)
  
SpongeBob: Why?
+
'''Squidward''': Good evening, (SpongeBob whistles) and... (looks at a piece of paper) ...welcome to the... (looks at paper) ...Krusty Krab semi-annual charity night.
  
Plankton: Why? Uh, cops are autograph hounds. Yeah, they're always after me.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Squidward? You look beautiful!
  
SpongeBob: Mm, that's tough. Don't worry, I'll hide you. (SpongeBob hides Plankton by sucking him into his nose. The police car stops in front of them.)
+
'''Squidward''': Let me show you to your table.
  
Police Officer: Hey, what are you kids up to this late?
+
'''SpongeBob''': My table? Fancy. (gasps) My very own name tag! (lights turn off and Squidward sighs, as he shines a flash light on Mr. Krabs)
  
SpongeBob: We're on our way to our first gig. We're in a band.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Hello, and welcome to a very important evening. Tonight's event is entitled: "Pennies for the penny-less." And before the following images are shown, I would ask each of you to look not look with your eyes, but with your heart. (Mr. Krabs shows some images) Three dimes, two nickles, one quarter, zero pennies. As I realize the following images seen here tonight may be wretchedly hideous, I am going to tell you what you can do to end this crimsoning: You can donate one penny to me: Mr. Krabs. Also known as: Mr. Krabs, the man who doesn't have one. (starts crying and SpongeBob is crying too)
  
Police Officer: A band, huh, well, that's, uh... Oh. (The cop sees a green thing coming out of SpongeBob's nose.) Uh, you've got a, uh...
+
'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs.
  
SpongeBob: Got a, uh, what? (SpongeBob laughs)
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': (cheering up) Yes?
  
Police Officers: Uh... it's right... (He points to a nostril on his face.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': I would like to donate a penny.
  
SpongeBob: Yes? (SpongeBob laughs again. The cop motions to wipe it off. You can tell Plankton's feet were coming out.) Police Officer: Just keep your nose clean, kid. (Police officer leaves.) Sure thing, officer. (SpongeBob blows his nose, and blows out Plankton.) They're gone.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': You would?
  
Plankton: You will never speak of this to anyone. (Scene skips to in front of the Krusty Krab.) Come on, come on, hurry up.
+
'''SpongeBob''': If I only had one. (starts crying. Mr. Krabs' eyes go into his head, and he screams. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob's house. Mr. Krabs is using a flower delivery truck to spy on his house. He is speaking gibberish. He then notices SpongeBob walking out the door. He walks in with a metal detector. He looks around)
  
SpongeBob: Don't worry, I just need to get the key out. (SpongeBob hums while opening the door, but fails both times to get the key in the key hole. Plankton grabs the key.)
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Hiding it, somewhere. Hiding it. Hiding it. Hiding it. Hiding it.
  
Plankton: Give me that, you incompetent fool. (Plankton opens the door and drops the key on the ground. Plankton also goes on the ground.) Yes, the Krabby Patty Formula is mine! Uh, I mean, we'll have a great time! (Plankton goes inside and whispers to himself.) Now where does Krabs keep that formula? (SpongeBob screams as he goes inside.)
+
'''Gary''': Meow.
  
SpongeBob: Whoo, let's rock!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': What's that? You! You know where!
  
(The next 2 lines are said at the same time.)
+
'''Gary''': Meow. (Mr. Krabs picks him up)
  
Patrick: Yeah!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Tell where!
  
Squidward: We're gonna be stars! (They're all inside the Krusty Krab and SpongeBob hooks up the speaker set. Plankton is no where to be seen.)
+
'''Gary''': Meow.
  
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob starts out by acting all excited like a rock stars.) All right! Squidward, are you ready? (Squidward makes a loud bass guitar strum and replies, "I'm ready!") OK! Patrick, are you ready? (Patrick answers by laughing while beating his belly.) Plankton, are you ready? (Crickets are chirping in the background.) Plankton? (We see Plankton is stealing the formula. SpongeBob gasps.) Plankton! (He breaks the bottle by saying his name in the mic loudly. The formula is shown to the audience, but all of it is in gerblish.)
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Hiding it, inside, (reaches into Gary's shell) in there, somewhere. (lights come on, and SpongeBob walks in)
  
Plankton: Uh... I'm ready?
+
'''SpongeBob''': (gasps) Mr. Krabs! What is this metal detector doing on the floor? These should only be stored on special racks. (gasps) And you're not wearing your metal detector handling gloves!
  
SpongeBob: Wait a minute... Was this band just a front so you could steal the Krabby Patty Secret Formula?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': SpongeBob I... I... I... I just wanted that penny you found on the street yesterday. Oh, I'm sorry.
  
Plankton: What, no, I was in it for the music, man! (The camera changes to outside the Krusty Krab and we see 12 police cars circle around the Krusty Krab. We change scenes by going back to in front of the Bikini Bottom Jail. The camera then goes to Plankton, who's in a caged box. Plankton sighs.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Krabs, that wasn't a penny. (laughs)
  
Plankton: Well, at least I'm back to my old cell.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': It wasn't?
  
Police Officer #2: Oh, no, you're not. We've got a special cell for you. (Frank, or Police Officer #1, moves a small painting out of the way, unlocks a safe, and both of them put Plankton in there.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': No, that was just a dried up piece of gum for my collection. I think it's peppermint.
  
Plankton: But I liked my old cell.
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': A-HA! (laughs) I feel so relieved. There was no penny after all. Well, I'll be going now. You can keep the metal detector, SpongeBob!
  
Police Officer #2: Then you're gonna love this one. (They close the cell and we see a small window on the other side with SpongeBob's eye poking through.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Thanks, Mr. Krabs. Here Gary, you can play with that. (Gary sniffs it, then spits on it and slithers away. The "gum" then absorbs it) Hey, this isn't gum at all. (pulls it out, revealing that it is a $500 bill) It's just a dumb old $500 bill. This won't go with my chewed up gum collection. (cut to outside SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob's bedroom light is on) Ah well, goodnight Gary. (turns off the light. Camera zooms out revealing that Mr. Krabs is digging holes outside of his house looking for the penny)
  
SpongeBob: There's no time to waste, Plankton. (Plankton looks outside.) We've only got 22 years to practice before our next gig. (We now see that all 3 of them are there, about to practice.) A one and a two... (They start practicing and Plankton screams.)
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Penny, must have buried it around here somewhere. I've just gotta keep digging.
 +
 
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{{Transcripts/Season 6 Ver. 2}}
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[[Category:Transcript]]
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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]

Latest revision as of 03:09, 14 December 2022

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Krabby Road Nautical Novice

Episode Article: Penny Foolish

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(episode starts at the Discount Grocery Mart. Mr. Krabs places a basket of items on the counter and the Saleslady scans them)

Saleslady: Price check on industrial size econo pack of raw fiber.

Mr. Krabs: Ah, it goes in like steel wool, but comes out like an angel from heaven.

Saleslady: Please, tell me more.

Mr. Krabs: Ooh, well, this one time I...

Saleslady: Not really!

Mr. Krabs: I didn't think so. Ooh wait, I almost forgot me coupons! (hands lady a lot of coupons) There's a couple double ones in there too.

Saleslady: Sir, these expired over thirty years ago.

Mr. Krabs: What does that mean?

Saleslady: It means they're no good. Sir, I'll just throw those away for you.

Mr. Krabs: No, wait! I'll take 'em.

Saleslady: Okay sir, your change stay is going to be exactly ten cents.

Mr. Krabs: Come to Papa! Come to Papa! (two nickels slide out) Yay! Two nickels. (laughs, then gasps as he notices SpongeBob walking on the street) Hey, that's SpongeBob out there! (SpongeBob does some weird things) What in blue blazes is that boy up to? (SpongeBob points to something that appears to be a penny, then picks it up) Well, I'll be a jerracter jellyfish! SpongeBob found a penny! A bright shiny penny just sitting there, and he picked it right up! Huh, I can remember the whole thing as if it just happened a moment ago. (Mr. Krabs imagines what just happened)

SpongeBob (in the thought bubble): Sir, Sir... (is actually Saleslady)

Saleslady: ...Sir.

Mr. Krabs: What?

Saleslady: You're holding up the line.

Mr. Krabs: Ooh, I am?

Saleslady: Next please. (bubble-wipe to night where Mr. Krabs is driving his boat)

Mr. Krabs: Interesting how things work out that way. Some folks just walk along and stumble over free money, while others, others, they work! (there's another car next to his and hearing gibberish from Mr. Krabs)

Billy: Hey mommy, look at that weird guy in the car over there!

Billy's Mom: Billy, mommy's watching the road right now.

Mr. Krabs: I mean why couldn't I have just walked along and found it? I have legs too you know! (sighs) How about a little music. Let song. (cut to the music dial, which turns into a penny) Oh! Okay, okay, get a grip Krabs. Just concentrate on driving. Race in minture-- (steering wheel turns into a penny as well. Screams and lets go of it, then holds it again) Okay, getting all worked up over a little coin. Awesome penny great. (laughs) Ah, it must just be the full moon. Wait a second. Oh my first come is... (moon turns into a penny. Screams) I gotta have that penny! (bubble-wipe to the next day at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob walks in) Good morning SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Good morning, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Find anything special lately?

SpongeBob: Yes!

Mr. Krabs: Really?

SpongeBob: Yup!

Mr. Krabs: And you want to share it with your old uncle Krabs, don't you boy?

SpongeBob: Of course!

Mr. Krabs: Great! Well, share it with me!

SpongeBob: (laughs) I already am sharing it with you, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Wha.. What?

SpongeBob: The thing I found was a bright, shiny, new...Day! Well I'll be in the kitchen if you need me. (talking to Squidward) Good morning Squidward.

Squidward: Don't talk to me.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs seems to be in a good mood today.

Squidward: That counts as talking. (SpongeBob walks into the kitchen, and Mr. Krabs is in there)

SpongeBob: Whoa! Hello again, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Hello, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: What can I do you for?

Mr. Krabs: Can I borrow a penny?

SpongeBob: A penny? Sure. (checks his pocket) Hmm, sorry. All out of pennies right now.

Mr. Krabs: But did you check all your pockets?

SpongeBob: Well, I thought I did.

Mr. Krabs: Front pockets? (SpongeBob checks them)

SpongeBob: Hmm, No.

Mr. Krabs: Back? (SpongeBob checks)

SpongeBob: Hmm-mm.

Mr. Krabs: Shirt pockets? (SpongeBob checks)

SpongeBob: Nuh-uh.

Mr. Krabs: Shoe pockets?

SpongeBob: (laughs) Shoe pockets. Oh, Mr. Krabs, that is just ridiculous.

Mr. Krabs: It is?

SpongeBob: Well, I do have a tie pocket though. (checks that pocket) No, not in there either.

Mr. Krabs: Hey, maybe it fell in your sock.

SpongeBob: Well, I...

Mr. Krabs: Did you check there? (holds SpongeBob upside down, and shakes him. SpongeBob's brain falls out) Uhh?

SpongeBob: Hey, look, it's my brain! (brain grows legs and walks away) Hey, where's it going? (brain falls though a crack) Ooh, there. (brain crawls on Squidward, and SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs follow it. They find it under a barrel) Aha! (brain squirts liquid at him. Laughs) Not so fast, little guy. There now. Yes, I know. Come here. (brain crawls back into SpongeBob's head)

Mr. Krabs: Uhh?

SpongeBob: What's the matter Mr. Krabs? Didn't you know I was a brain whisperer?

Mr. Krabs: So, uhh, no penny, huh?

SpongeBob: Nope.

Mr. Krabs: Darn! (bubble-wipe to later when SpongeBob is mopping, and hears a noise)

SpongeBob: Squidward, these definite construction sounds are preventing me from working.

Squidward: Me too.

SpongeBob: Do you think we should walk out back to investigate?

Squidward: Never. (SpongeBob and Squidward are now walking out back)

SpongeBob: The sounds are coming from back here. What the? (a movie theater is being built)

Mr. Krabs: Careful with those marquee ladders!

SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs, you made your own movie theater!

Mr. Krabs: Yes I did.

SpongeBob: Yay!

Mr. Krabs: And you're just in time for the grand opening! (pulls a lever that turns on the electricity on) Step right up folks, and witness a spell binding tale chock full of adventure, and action, and thrills... (he is talking gibberish as two fish walk up)

Frank: You know, I'm not really hungry.

Fred: Yeah, let's go see what this fat guy is yelling about.

Mr. Krabs: ...witness the terrifying challenges overcome by... by...

Fred: By who?

Mr. Krabs: by a... by a pucky young sponge.

SpongeBob: Just like me!

Mr. Krabs: That's right! And the best part is: admission is only one penny!

Squidward: Does a movie like that even exist?

Fred: Yeah, does it?!

Mr. Krabs: Uhh, well, actually I was going to show you this flip book and...

Squidward: A flip book?

Fred: Yeah, I don't even know what that is! (everyone walks away)

Mr. Krabs: No, wait. Noooooooo!

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, can I see the movie now? Please?

Mr. Krabs: Of course, you can, lad! You just gotta give me one penny.

SpongeBob: But, but...

Mr. Krabs: But what?

SpongeBob: But, I really don't have a penny.

Mr. Krabs: But? But?! BUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT?! (screams, and then demolishes the movie theater. Bubble-wipe to night where SpongeBob is walking to the Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: Huh, that's too bad. I really wanted to see that movie. Oh well. (Squidward is dressed like a waiter)

Squidward: Good evening, (SpongeBob whistles) and... (looks at a piece of paper) ...welcome to the... (looks at paper) ...Krusty Krab semi-annual charity night.

SpongeBob: Squidward? You look beautiful!

Squidward: Let me show you to your table.

SpongeBob: My table? Fancy. (gasps) My very own name tag! (lights turn off and Squidward sighs, as he shines a flash light on Mr. Krabs)

Mr. Krabs: Hello, and welcome to a very important evening. Tonight's event is entitled: "Pennies for the penny-less." And before the following images are shown, I would ask each of you to look not look with your eyes, but with your heart. (Mr. Krabs shows some images) Three dimes, two nickles, one quarter, zero pennies. As I realize the following images seen here tonight may be wretchedly hideous, I am going to tell you what you can do to end this crimsoning: You can donate one penny to me: Mr. Krabs. Also known as: Mr. Krabs, the man who doesn't have one. (starts crying and SpongeBob is crying too)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: (cheering up) Yes?

SpongeBob: I would like to donate a penny.

Mr. Krabs: You would?

SpongeBob: If I only had one. (starts crying. Mr. Krabs' eyes go into his head, and he screams. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob's house. Mr. Krabs is using a flower delivery truck to spy on his house. He is speaking gibberish. He then notices SpongeBob walking out the door. He walks in with a metal detector. He looks around)

Mr. Krabs: Hiding it, somewhere. Hiding it. Hiding it. Hiding it. Hiding it.

Gary: Meow.

Mr. Krabs: What's that? You! You know where!

Gary: Meow. (Mr. Krabs picks him up)

Mr. Krabs: Tell where!

Gary: Meow.

Mr. Krabs: Hiding it, inside, (reaches into Gary's shell) in there, somewhere. (lights come on, and SpongeBob walks in)

SpongeBob: (gasps) Mr. Krabs! What is this metal detector doing on the floor? These should only be stored on special racks. (gasps) And you're not wearing your metal detector handling gloves!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob I... I... I... I just wanted that penny you found on the street yesterday. Oh, I'm sorry.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, that wasn't a penny. (laughs)

Mr. Krabs: It wasn't?

SpongeBob: No, that was just a dried up piece of gum for my collection. I think it's peppermint.

Mr. Krabs: A-HA! (laughs) I feel so relieved. There was no penny after all. Well, I'll be going now. You can keep the metal detector, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Thanks, Mr. Krabs. Here Gary, you can play with that. (Gary sniffs it, then spits on it and slithers away. The "gum" then absorbs it) Hey, this isn't gum at all. (pulls it out, revealing that it is a $500 bill) It's just a dumb old $500 bill. This won't go with my chewed up gum collection. (cut to outside SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob's bedroom light is on) Ah well, goodnight Gary. (turns off the light. Camera zooms out revealing that Mr. Krabs is digging holes outside of his house looking for the penny)

Mr. Krabs: Penny, must have buried it around here somewhere. I've just gotta keep digging.


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