Episode Transcript: The Lost Mattress

From SpongePedia, the First SpongeBob Wiki.
(Difference between revisions)
Jump to: navigation, search
(Dialogue)
 
(6 intermediate revisions by 6 users not shown)
Line 18: Line 18:
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
 +
(Squidward's watch strikes 9 o'clock)
  
(Squidward's watch strikes 9 o'clock)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe he'll finally fire me. (laughs as he walks into the closed front doors of the Krusty Krab) What? Locked?
  
Squidward: Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe he'll finally fire me. (laughs as he walks into the closed front doors of the Krusty Krab) What? Locked?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' This isn't happening. This isn't happening.
  
SpongeBob: This isn't happening. This isn't happening.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' SpongeBob?
  
Squidward: SpongeBob?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' The horror. It's unspeakable. Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!
  
SpongeBob: The horror. It's unspeakable. Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' You mean I got out of bed for nothing?
  
Squidward: You mean I got out of bed for nothing?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we gonna do, Squidward? There are Krabby Patties inside. All alone.
  
SpongeBob: The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we gonna do, Squidward? There are Krabby Patties inside. All alone.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.
  
Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (face comes out his backside) Mr. Krabs, you're here! (jumping around) Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you when the world would've been deprived of the greatest food known to man.
  
SpongeBob: (faces comes out his backside) Mr. Krabs, you're here! (jumping around) Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you when the world would've been deprived of the greatest food known to man.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (drops his keys) Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?
  
Mr. Krabs: (drops his keys) Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (cries) I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.
  
SpongeBob: (cries) I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Harsh. (laughs)
  
Squidward: Harsh. (laughs)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (painfully breaks his back) Arrgh, me back!
  
Mr. Krabs: (breaks his back) Arrgh, me back!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?
  
SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (sarcastically) No. I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin' back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze!
  
Mr. Krabs: (Sarcastically) No. I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin' back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, good, I thought you were hurt.
  
SpongeBob: Oh, good, I thought you were hurt.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (glares in annoyance) I am hurt, ya idiot! (SpongeBob cries) I'm sorry I snapped at ya, laddie. It's just me back is killing me. It's me old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind. (back breaks again) Ouch! Oh, me back.
  
Mr. Krabs: (Glares in annoyance) I am hurt, ya idiot! (SpongeBob cries) I'm sorry I snapped at ya, laddie. It's just me back is killing me. It's me old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind. (back breaks again) Ouch! Oh, me back.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we going to do, Squidward?
  
SpongeBob: Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we going to do, Squidward?
+
'''Squidward:''' Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more. (laughs)
  
Squidward: Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more. (laughs)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I'm serious, Squidward.
  
SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' So am I.
  
Squidward: So am I.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We should get Mr. Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift. Then we'll never have to be late to work again.
  
SpongeBob: We should get Mr. Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift. Then we'll never have to be late to work again.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my richer than me skin Flynn boss? No, thank you. (enters Krusty Krab)
  
Squidward: What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my richer than me skin Flynn boss? No, thank you. (enters Krusty Krab)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' That's OK, Squidward, you'll warm up to the idea. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob going somewhere with Patrick) Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.
  
SpongeBob: That's ok, Squidward, you'll warm up to the idea. (later) Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store. (both enter a mattress store)
  
Patrick: No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store. (both enter store)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Wow!
  
SB&P: Wow!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I've never seen so many mattresses.
  
SpongeBob: I've never seen so many mattress.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Yeah.
  
Patrick: Yeah.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' How many do you think there are?
  
SpongeBob: How many do you think there are?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (looks around and thinks) 10.
  
Patrick: (looks around and thinks) 10.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Cool.
  
SpongeBob: Cool.<br>
+
'''Employee:''' There's plenty more than that. Try 'em out. Find one you like. (bubble-wipe to a montage; SpongeBob jumps on a mattress but Patrick shakes his head. Patrick lays down on a mattress but sinks into it as SpongeBob shakes his head. SpongeBob falls on his back on a rock-hard mattress. Patrick sits in a racecar bed then a crashing sound is heard. SpongeBob sits on a bunch of needles and the employee holds up a first-aid kit. Finally, Patrick lays on a mattress that rotates by rolling from side to side. The clerk gestures the remote to SpongeBob and closes it while SpongeBob laughs. Bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing)
  
Employee: There's plenty more than that. Try 'em out. Find one you like. (SpongeBob jumps on a mattress but Patrick shakes his head. Patrick lays down on a mattress but sinks into it as SpongeBob shakes his head. SpongeBob falls on his back on a rock-hard mattress. Patrick sits in a racecar bed then a crashing sound is heard. SpongeBob sits on a bunch of needles and the employee holds up a first-aid kit. Finally, Patrick sits on a mattress that rotates in rolling from side to side. The clerk gestures the remote to SpongeBob and he laughs. Now back at the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' What are you morons doing?
  
Squidward: What are you morons doing?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Making a card for Mr. Krabs. To go with his new mattress.
  
SpongeBob: Making a card for Mr. Krabs. To go with his new mattress.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card. (foolishly signs card) Trying to outsmart me, will ya? (laughs evilly and licks envelope) There, I signed it for all of us.
  
Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card. (signs card) Trying to outsmart me, will ya? (laughs evilly and licks envelope) There, I signed it for all of us.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Hey, you didn't even help pay.
  
Patrick: Hey, you didn't even help pay.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, that's okay, as long as Mr. Krabs is happy. (later at Mr. Krabs house)
  
SpongeBob: Oh, that's okay, as long as Mr. Krabs is happy. (later at Mr. Krabs house)<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mountainous, lumpy mattress. (painfully lays on his mattress) Argh, uhh... oh, that's queer. Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter-like. (falls asleep)
  
Mr. Krabs: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mountainous, lumpy mattress. (lays on his mattress) Argh, uhh... oh, that's queer. Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter-like. (falls asleep)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward:'''' Surprise!
  
SpongeBob, Patrick & Squidward: Surprise!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (wakes up) Armageddon! What? Oh, you? What in the blue-eyed scallop are you doing in me bedroom?
  
Mr. Krabs: (wakes up) Armageddon! What? Oh, you? What in the blue-eyed scallop are you doing in me bedroom?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.
  
SpongeBob: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' (grins) So I suggested we get you a new one.
  
Squidward: (grins) So I suggested we get you a new one.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (talking to SpongeBob) I thought it was your idea.
  
Patrick: (talking to SpongeBob) I thought it was your idea.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (attempts to hold down fury; enraged) So, where's me old mattress then?
  
Mr. Krabs: (attempting to hold down fury) So, where's me old mattress then?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.
  
Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (angrily jumps on Squidward) All...my...money...was in that mattress!
  
Mr. Krabs: (jumps on Squidward) All my money was in that mattress!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' What?! Haven't you ever heard of a bank?!
  
Squidward: What?! Haven't you ever heard of a bank?!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' No!
  
Mr. Krabs: No!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Mr. Krabs!
  
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' No! (faints)
  
Mr. Krabs: No! (faints)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' And we got you a card.
  
Patrick: And we got you a card.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Is there money in it?
  
Mr. Krabs: Is there money in it?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' (shakes the envelope) Nope. (Mr. Krabs faints again. Bubble-wipe to the hospital)
  
Patrick: (shakes the envelope) Nope. (Mr. Krabs faints again. Later, at the hospital)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?
  
SpongeBob: Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' Mr. Krabs is in a "cash coma." Only the return of his money can save his life.
  
Replacement Doctor: Mr. Krabs is in a "cash coma". Only the return of his money can save his life.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' It was SpongeBob's fault! Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea!
  
Squidward: It was SpongeBob’s fault! Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea!<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' I knew it!
  
Patrick: I knew it!<br>
+
'''Police Officer:''' Not so fast! (holds up get well card) This card says "This was all my idea. Love, Squidward." (Squidward gasps in worry) If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail!
  
Police Officer: Not so fast! (holds up get well card) This card says 'This was all my idea. Love, Squidward'. (Squidward gasps in worry) If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' (furiously growls, turns red and gets mad at SpongeBob) You did this, SquarePants! If you don't get Mr. Krabs' mattress back from the dump, I am going to murd... (officer clears throat) uhh...ha. Help you do it myself.
  
Squidward: (growls) You did this, SquarePants! If you don't get Mr. Krabs' mattress back from the dump, I am going to murd... (officer clears throat) uhh...ha. Help you do it myself.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Wow, he really does care. (bubble-wipe to the dump) What a dump.
  
Patrick: Wow, he really does care. (later at the dump) What a dump.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We gotta get in there, Squidward. Mr. Krabs is counting on us.
  
SpongeBob: We gotta get in there, Squidward. Mr. Krabs is counting on us.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?
  
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Terrific, Patrick, you found it!
  
SpongeBob: Terrific, Patrick, you found it!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' What? Where, where? Lemme see. Where? What, what?
  
Squidward: What? Where, where? Lemme see. Where? What, what?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Over there, Squidward, underneath that really big guard worm.
  
SpongeBob: Over there, Squidward, underneath that really big guard worm.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Oh, that figures. (bubble-wipe to the hospital)
  
Squidward: Oh, that figures.<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' Oh no, this is horrible.
  
(later at the hospital)<br>
+
'''Nurse:''' What is it, doctor?
  
Replacement Doctor: Oh no, this is horrible.<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' This man has no insurance.
  
Nurse: What is it, doctor?<br>
+
'''Nurse:''' He'll never be able to afford this room!
  
Replacement Doctor: This man has no insurance.<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat! (Mr. Krabs is pushed into a snack machine)
  
Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh...
  
Replacement Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat! (Mr. Krabs is pushed into a snack machine)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:'''' Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress, alright. Let's go get it.
  
Mr. Krabs: Oh...
+
'''Squidward:''' Okay, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without... waking... the worm.
  
SpongeBob: Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress, alright. Let's go get it.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Why not?
  
Squidward: Okay, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without...waking...the worm.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Because that would be rude, Patrick.
  
Patrick: Why not?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive!
  
SpongeBob: Because that would be rude, Patrick.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Well, hey, wait a minute, what are you gonna do?
  
Squidward: And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Oh, I've got the most important job. I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe.
  
Patrick: Well, hey, wait a minute, what are you gonna do?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Gee, thanks buddy.
  
Squidward: Oh, I've got the most important job. I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' My pleasure. Now let's get a move on.
  
Patrick: Gee, thanks buddy.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (Patrick climbs the fence) Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick? You can see everything from up here.
  
Squidward: My pleasure. Now let's get a move on.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Wow. (both sigh)
  
SpongeBob: (Patrick climbs the fence) Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick? You can see everything from up here.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' (angrily growls) What are you morons doing?
  
Patrick: Wow. (both sigh)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.
  
Squidward: (growls) What are you morons doing?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Where? I can't see 'em. (fence shakes and suddenly flips around with Squidward holding onto it. Squidward is now inside while SpongeBob and Patrick are outside)
  
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.
+
'''SpongeBob and Patrick:''' Wow. (both laugh)
  
Patrick: Where? I can't see 'em. (fence flips around to where Squidward is inside and SpongeBob & Patrick are outside)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' What did you idiots do?
  
SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow. (both laugh)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Squidward, what are you going in there? You were supposed to keep watch.
  
Squidward: What did you idiots do?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yeah, and you woke up the guard worm, too.
  
Patrick: Squidward, what are you going in there? You were suppose to keep watch.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' I didn't do it! You blockheads woke... the... worm. (the worm angrily comes up from behind Squidward. Screams as the worm viciously attacks him. Bubble-wipe to the hospital)
  
SpongeBob: Yeah, and you woke up the guard worm, too.<br>
+
'''Doctor #2:''' Doctor?
  
Squidward: I didn't do it! You blockheads woke...the...worm. (the worm comes up from behind Squidward. Squidward screams as the worm attacks him) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' Yes, doctor?
  
(later at the hospital)<br>
+
'''Doctor #2:''' Regarding your patient, doctor. I have come to this conclusion.
  
Doctor #2: Doctor?<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' Yes, go on.
  
Replacement Doctor: Yes, doctor?<br>
+
'''Doctor #2:''' We have to surgically remove him out from in front of the candy machine so we can get to the nutty nut bar.
  
Doctor #2: Regarding your patient, doctor. I have come to this conclusion.<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' Of course. Nurse?
  
Replacement Doctor: Yes, go on.<br>
+
'''Nurse:''' I'm on it. (wheels Mr. Krabs outside the hospital)
  
Doctor #2: We have to surgically remove him out from in front of the candy machine so we can get to the nutty nut bar .<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh... (cut back to the dump)
  
Replacement Doctor: Of course. Nurse?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (climbing down a rope with Patrick to get inside the gate) Worm bait to the retriever. Worm bait to the retriever. We're in. Out.
  
Nurse: I'm on it. (wheels Mr. Krabs outside the hospital. Mr. Krabs groans)
+
'''Squidward:''' Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.
  
(later at the dump)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Understood. Out.
  
SpongeBob: (climbing down a rope with Patrick to get inside the gate) Worm bait to the retriever. Worm bait to the retriever. We're in. Out.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' No. In. Out.
  
Squidward: Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Understood. Out.
  
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Ach, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?
  
Squidward: No. In. Out.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Affirmative.
  
SpongeBob: Understood. Out.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.
  
Squidward: Ach, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Affirmative. Out. Oh, that's why he calls himself "The Retriever."
  
SpongeBob: Affirmative.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Why are we called "Worm bait?"
  
Squidward: Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I dunno. (ululating with Patrick. Both use pots and pans to make loud noises that draws the guard worm away)
  
SpongeBob: Affirmative. Out. Oh, that's why he calls himself 'The Retriever'.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' And my perfect plan falls into place. (laughs)
  
Patrick: Why are we called 'Worm-bait?'<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Uhh, SpongeBob?
  
SpongeBob: I dunno. (ululating with Patrick. Then both uses pots and pans to make loud noises that draws the guard worm away)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Yes, Patrick?
  
Squidward: And my perfect plan falls into place. (laughs)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' I think I know why our code name is "Worm bait." (guard worm rushes up and growls at them both until it notices the wooden spoon in SpongeBob's hand)
  
Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Nice worm. Good, kind, gentle worm. (worms eyes turn into an image of the wooden spoon)
  
SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Ooh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.
  
Patrick: I think I know why our code name is "Worm bait". (guard worm rushes up and growls at them both until it notices the wooden spoon in SpongeBob’s hand)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (raises the spoon then lowers the spoon as the worms eyes follow where the spoon is) Wow, I think you're right, Patrick.
  
SpongeBob: Nice worm. Good, kind, gentle worm. (worms eyes turn into an image of the wooden spoon)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' See if he plays catch.
  
Patrick: Ooh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay, see the stick boy? (throws spoon) Go get it, boy! (worm chases after spoon)
  
SpongeBob: (SpongeBob raises the spoon then lowers the spoon as the worms eyes follow where the spoon is) Wow, I think you're right, Patrick.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius. (wooden spoon hits Squidward in the head) Ouch! What the? Hey, I needed a wooden spoon. I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket. (places spoon in back pocket) And now for the mattress. (worm bites Squidward in the behind) I should've guessed. (worm attacks Squidward and he screams. Cut back to the hospital)
  
Patrick: See if he plays catch.<br>
+
'''Administrator Flotsam:''' Excuse me, doctor.
  
SpongeBob: Okay, see the stick boy? (throws spoon) Go get it, boy! (worm chases after spoon)<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?
  
Squidward: Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius. (wooden spoon hits Squidward in the head) Ouch. What the? Hey, I needed a wooden spoon. I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket. (places spoon in back pocket) And now for the mattress. (worm bites Squidward in the butt) I should've guessed. (worm attacks Squidward) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br>
+
'''Administrator Flotsam:''' It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.
  
(back at the hospital)<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' Yes, yes he is.
  
Administrator Flotsam: Excuse me, doctor.<br>
+
'''Administrator Flotsam:''' Well, what were you thinking, man? We're trying to run a business here. We can't leave patients on the sidewalk.
  
Replacement Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?<br>
+
'''Replacement Doctor:''' Not to worry. Nurse!
  
Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.<br>
+
'''Nurse:''' I'm on it. (pushes Mr. Krabs away from the hospital. Cut back to the dump)
  
Replacement Doctor: Yes, yes he is.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Alright, you two, what's the holdup?
  
Administrator Flotsam: Well, what were you thinking, man? We're trying to run a business here. We can't leave patients on the sidewalk.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' We feel silly.
  
Replacement Doctor: Not to worry. Nurse!<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Come on, do it for old man Krabs.
  
Nurse: I'm on it. (pushes Mr. Krabs away from the hospital)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Okay. (SpongeBob & Patrick jump out of the portable potty in steak costumes) Can you explain the plan again, Squidward?
  
(back at the dump)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Sure, but first, put on this cologne.
  
Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (reads label) Steak sauce? (shrugs shoulders and puts the sauces on his body)
  
SpongeBob: We feel silly.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' OK, so you two are dressed as "Choice-Cuts." You go in there and yell "Trick or Treat!". The worm will realize he forgot to stock up on Halloween candy, he'll leave to buy some then we take the mattress.
  
Squidward: Come on, do it for old man Krabs.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Give me that cologne.
  
SpongeBob: Ok. (SpongeBob & Patrick jump out of the portable potty in steak costumes) Can you explain the plan again, Squidward?<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Now get in there!
  
Squidward: Sure, but first, put on this cologne.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Happy Halloween, Squidward!
  
SpongeBob: (reads label) Steak sauce? (shrugs shoulders and puts the sauces on his body)<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' I am not going to get hurt this time. (hears some rattling in the distance. Its Mr. Krabs on his hospital bed rolling down the street into the dump) What the? Isn't that Mr. Krabs? (screams as Mr. Krabs runs over Squidward, crashes through the gate, runs into a rock causing the bed to flip him over in front of his mattress. Guard worm growls)
  
Squidward: Ok, so you two are dressed as 'Choice-Cuts.' You go in there and yell 'Trick or Treat!'. The worm will realize he forgot to stock up on Halloween candy, he'll leave to buy some then we take the mattress.<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' That guard worm doesn't look very happy.
  
Patrick: Give me that cologne.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!
  
Squidward: Now get in there!<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' (sniffs around) It's...me money! (guard worm snarls as Mr. Krabs sends the worm into the air and off the mattress) Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.
  
SpongeBob: Happy Halloween, Squidward!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs jumps on his mattress and barks) No, Mr. Krabs, it's us!
  
Squidward: I am not going to get hurt this time. (hears some rattling in the distance. Its Mr. Krabs on his hospital bed rolling down the street into the dump)  What the? Isn't that Mr. Krabs? (screams as Mr. Krabs runs over Squidward, crashes through the gate, runs into a rock causing the bed to flip him over in front of his mattress. Guard worm growls)<br>
+
'''Patrick:''' Trick or treat.
  
Patrick: That guard worm doesn't look very happy.<br>
+
'''Mr. Krabs:''' Oh, hey, SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you. Say, why are you two dressed as meat?
  
SpongeBob: Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, it's not so bad! Go bad! I'll get them!
  
Mr. Krabs: (sniffs around) It's...me money! (guard worm snarls as Mr. Krabs sends the worm into the air and off the mattress) Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.<br>
+
'''Squidward:''' Huh? (guard worm lands in Squidward's arm snarling at him. Runs off screaming as the worm angrily chases him)
 
+
SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs jumps on his mattress and barks) No, Mr. Krabs, it's us!<br>
+
 
+
Patrick: Trick or treat.<br>
+
 
+
Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey, SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you. Say, why are you two dressed as meat?<br>
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Not just meat, we're 'Choice Cuts.' Right, Squidward?<br>
+
 
+
Squidward: Oh, I give up. (guard worm lands in Squidward’s arm snarling at him. Squidward runs off as the worm chases him) Get away! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!<br>
+
  
 
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}
 
{{Transcripts/Season 4}}
 
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]

Latest revision as of 00:00, 10 November 2022

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Shell of a Man Krabs vs. Plankton

Episode Article: The Lost Mattress

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(Squidward's watch strikes 9 o'clock)

Squidward: Wow, I'm really late again. Maybe he'll finally fire me. (laughs as he walks into the closed front doors of the Krusty Krab) What? Locked?

SpongeBob: This isn't happening. This isn't happening.

Squidward: SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: The horror. It's unspeakable. Don't you see, Squidward? It's closed! The Krusty Krab is closed!

Squidward: You mean I got out of bed for nothing?

SpongeBob: The doors are locked. The doors are locked and we are on the outside. Outsiders. What are we gonna do, Squidward? There are Krabby Patties inside. All alone.

Mr. Krabs: Just stand aside, lad, and let me unlock the door.

SpongeBob: (face comes out his backside) Mr. Krabs, you're here! (jumping around) Gosh, Mr. Krabs, we were worried something might have happened to you when the world would've been deprived of the greatest food known to man.

Mr. Krabs: (drops his keys) Oh, you made me drop me keys. Give me some space, lad. Can't a crab get a little space?

SpongeBob: (cries) I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs.

Squidward: Harsh. (laughs)

Mr. Krabs: (painfully breaks his back) Arrgh, me back!

SpongeBob: Are you hurt, Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: (sarcastically) No. I'm just doubled over in pain, fightin' back tears in me eyes because it's a new dance craze!

SpongeBob: Oh, good, I thought you were hurt.

Mr. Krabs: (glares in annoyance) I am hurt, ya idiot! (SpongeBob cries) I'm sorry I snapped at ya, laddie. It's just me back is killing me. It's me old, lumpy mattress. It's like trying to sleep on broken coral. I'm going out of me mind. (back breaks again) Ouch! Oh, me back.

SpongeBob: Poor Mr. Krabs. What are we going to do, Squidward?

Squidward: Why do anything? I like the new Mr. Krabs. He yells at you more. (laughs)

SpongeBob: I'm serious, Squidward.

Squidward: So am I.

SpongeBob: We should get Mr. Krabs a new mattress and surprise him with it as a gift. Then we'll never have to be late to work again.

Squidward: What? You want me to spend my hard earned money on my richer than me skin Flynn boss? No, thank you. (enters Krusty Krab)

SpongeBob: That's OK, Squidward, you'll warm up to the idea. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob going somewhere with Patrick) Thanks for coming with me, Patrick.

Patrick: No problem, buddy. I always wanted to go to a mattress store. (both enter a mattress store)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow!

SpongeBob: I've never seen so many mattresses.

Patrick: Yeah.

SpongeBob: How many do you think there are?

Patrick: (looks around and thinks) 10.

SpongeBob: Cool.

Employee: There's plenty more than that. Try 'em out. Find one you like. (bubble-wipe to a montage; SpongeBob jumps on a mattress but Patrick shakes his head. Patrick lays down on a mattress but sinks into it as SpongeBob shakes his head. SpongeBob falls on his back on a rock-hard mattress. Patrick sits in a racecar bed then a crashing sound is heard. SpongeBob sits on a bunch of needles and the employee holds up a first-aid kit. Finally, Patrick lays on a mattress that rotates by rolling from side to side. The clerk gestures the remote to SpongeBob and closes it while SpongeBob laughs. Bubble-wipe to the Krusty Krab where SpongeBob and Patrick are laughing)

Squidward: What are you morons doing?

SpongeBob: Making a card for Mr. Krabs. To go with his new mattress.

Squidward: Oh, I see. You're just kissing up to the boss to make me look bad. Well, I won't stand for it. Gimme that card. (foolishly signs card) Trying to outsmart me, will ya? (laughs evilly and licks envelope) There, I signed it for all of us.

Patrick: Hey, you didn't even help pay.

SpongeBob: Oh, that's okay, as long as Mr. Krabs is happy. (later at Mr. Krabs house)

Mr. Krabs: Oh, me back. Well, here goes another useless attempt to sleep on me mountainous, lumpy mattress. (painfully lays on his mattress) Argh, uhh... oh, that's queer. Me mattress seems strangely cozy and butter-like. (falls asleep)

SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward:' Surprise!

Mr. Krabs: (wakes up) Armageddon! What? Oh, you? What in the blue-eyed scallop are you doing in me bedroom?

SpongeBob: We noticed how miserable you were on your lumpy, old mattress.

Squidward: (grins) So I suggested we get you a new one.

Patrick: (talking to SpongeBob) I thought it was your idea.

Mr. Krabs: (attempts to hold down fury; enraged) So, where's me old mattress then?

Squidward: Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I took care of that personally, too. I had it hauled away to the dump.

Mr. Krabs: (angrily jumps on Squidward) All...my...money...was in that mattress!

Squidward: What?! Haven't you ever heard of a bank?!

Mr. Krabs: No!

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs!

Mr. Krabs: No! (faints)

Patrick: And we got you a card.

Mr. Krabs: Is there money in it?

Patrick: (shakes the envelope) Nope. (Mr. Krabs faints again. Bubble-wipe to the hospital)

SpongeBob: Is it serious, doctor? Will Mr. Krabs be alright?

Replacement Doctor: Mr. Krabs is in a "cash coma." Only the return of his money can save his life.

Squidward: It was SpongeBob's fault! Getting Mr. Krabs a new mattress was his idea!

Patrick: I knew it!

Police Officer: Not so fast! (holds up get well card) This card says "This was all my idea. Love, Squidward." (Squidward gasps in worry) If Mr. Krabs doesn't pull through, you're going to jail!

Squidward: (furiously growls, turns red and gets mad at SpongeBob) You did this, SquarePants! If you don't get Mr. Krabs' mattress back from the dump, I am going to murd... (officer clears throat) uhh...ha. Help you do it myself.

Patrick: Wow, he really does care. (bubble-wipe to the dump) What a dump.

SpongeBob: We gotta get in there, Squidward. Mr. Krabs is counting on us.

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, isn't that the mattress over there?

SpongeBob: Terrific, Patrick, you found it!

Squidward: What? Where, where? Lemme see. Where? What, what?

SpongeBob: Over there, Squidward, underneath that really big guard worm.

Squidward: Oh, that figures. (bubble-wipe to the hospital)

Replacement Doctor: Oh no, this is horrible.

Nurse: What is it, doctor?

Replacement Doctor: This man has no insurance.

Nurse: He'll never be able to afford this room!

Replacement Doctor: You're right, nurse. Extract the patient to the hallway. Stat! (Mr. Krabs is pushed into a snack machine)

Mr. Krabs: Oh...

SpongeBob:' Well, that's Mr. Krabs' mattress, alright. Let's go get it.

Squidward: Okay, here's the plan: you two quietly go in there, remove the mattress out from the guard worm without... waking... the worm.

Patrick: Why not?

SpongeBob: Because that would be rude, Patrick.

Squidward: And nothing's meaner than a junkyard worm. He'll eat you alive!

Patrick: Well, hey, wait a minute, what are you gonna do?

Squidward: Oh, I've got the most important job. I'm going to keep watch to make sure it's safe.

Patrick: Gee, thanks buddy.

Squidward: My pleasure. Now let's get a move on.

SpongeBob: (Patrick climbs the fence) Ah, isn't it beautiful, Patrick? You can see everything from up here.

Patrick: Wow. (both sigh)

Squidward: (angrily growls) What are you morons doing?

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, I think I can see our houses from here.

Patrick: Where? I can't see 'em. (fence shakes and suddenly flips around with Squidward holding onto it. Squidward is now inside while SpongeBob and Patrick are outside)

SpongeBob and Patrick: Wow. (both laugh)

Squidward: What did you idiots do?

Patrick: Squidward, what are you going in there? You were supposed to keep watch.

SpongeBob: Yeah, and you woke up the guard worm, too.

Squidward: I didn't do it! You blockheads woke... the... worm. (the worm angrily comes up from behind Squidward. Screams as the worm viciously attacks him. Bubble-wipe to the hospital)

Doctor #2: Doctor?

Replacement Doctor: Yes, doctor?

Doctor #2: Regarding your patient, doctor. I have come to this conclusion.

Replacement Doctor: Yes, go on.

Doctor #2: We have to surgically remove him out from in front of the candy machine so we can get to the nutty nut bar.

Replacement Doctor: Of course. Nurse?

Nurse: I'm on it. (wheels Mr. Krabs outside the hospital)

Mr. Krabs: Oh... (cut back to the dump)

SpongeBob: (climbing down a rope with Patrick to get inside the gate) Worm bait to the retriever. Worm bait to the retriever. We're in. Out.

Squidward: Retriever to worm bait, stay in. Don't go out.

SpongeBob: Understood. Out.

Squidward: No. In. Out.

SpongeBob: Understood. Out.

Squidward: Ach, look, you're at the far side of the dump, right?

SpongeBob: Affirmative.

Squidward: Good. Then make lots of noise to draw the guard worm away from the mattress so I can retrieve it.

SpongeBob: Affirmative. Out. Oh, that's why he calls himself "The Retriever."

Patrick: Why are we called "Worm bait?"

SpongeBob: I dunno. (ululating with Patrick. Both use pots and pans to make loud noises that draws the guard worm away)

Squidward: And my perfect plan falls into place. (laughs)

Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Yes, Patrick?

Patrick: I think I know why our code name is "Worm bait." (guard worm rushes up and growls at them both until it notices the wooden spoon in SpongeBob's hand)

SpongeBob: Nice worm. Good, kind, gentle worm. (worms eyes turn into an image of the wooden spoon)

Patrick: Ooh, SpongeBob, he likes your wooden spoon.

SpongeBob: (raises the spoon then lowers the spoon as the worms eyes follow where the spoon is) Wow, I think you're right, Patrick.

Patrick: See if he plays catch.

SpongeBob: Okay, see the stick boy? (throws spoon) Go get it, boy! (worm chases after spoon)

Squidward: Coast is clear. Squiddy, you are a genius. (wooden spoon hits Squidward in the head) Ouch! What the? Hey, I needed a wooden spoon. I'll just keep it safe from harm in my back pocket. (places spoon in back pocket) And now for the mattress. (worm bites Squidward in the behind) I should've guessed. (worm attacks Squidward and he screams. Cut back to the hospital)

Administrator Flotsam: Excuse me, doctor.

Replacement Doctor: Administrator Flotsam, what can I do for you?

Administrator Flotsam: It has come to my attention that your patient, Mr. Krabs, is out on the front sidewalk.

Replacement Doctor: Yes, yes he is.

Administrator Flotsam: Well, what were you thinking, man? We're trying to run a business here. We can't leave patients on the sidewalk.

Replacement Doctor: Not to worry. Nurse!

Nurse: I'm on it. (pushes Mr. Krabs away from the hospital. Cut back to the dump)

Squidward: Alright, you two, what's the holdup?

SpongeBob: We feel silly.

Squidward: Come on, do it for old man Krabs.

SpongeBob: Okay. (SpongeBob & Patrick jump out of the portable potty in steak costumes) Can you explain the plan again, Squidward?

Squidward: Sure, but first, put on this cologne.

SpongeBob: (reads label) Steak sauce? (shrugs shoulders and puts the sauces on his body)

Squidward: OK, so you two are dressed as "Choice-Cuts." You go in there and yell "Trick or Treat!". The worm will realize he forgot to stock up on Halloween candy, he'll leave to buy some then we take the mattress.

Patrick: Give me that cologne.

Squidward: Now get in there!

SpongeBob: Happy Halloween, Squidward!

Squidward: I am not going to get hurt this time. (hears some rattling in the distance. Its Mr. Krabs on his hospital bed rolling down the street into the dump) What the? Isn't that Mr. Krabs? (screams as Mr. Krabs runs over Squidward, crashes through the gate, runs into a rock causing the bed to flip him over in front of his mattress. Guard worm growls)

Patrick: That guard worm doesn't look very happy.

SpongeBob: Run, Mr. Krabs! Run like you're not in a coma!

Mr. Krabs: (sniffs around) It's...me money! (guard worm snarls as Mr. Krabs sends the worm into the air and off the mattress) Oh, money. I promise I'll never leave you alone again.

SpongeBob: Hey, Mr. Krabs. (Mr. Krabs jumps on his mattress and barks) No, Mr. Krabs, it's us!

Patrick: Trick or treat.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, hey, SpongeBob. I didn't recognize you. Say, why are you two dressed as meat?

SpongeBob: Hey, it's not so bad! Go bad! I'll get them!

Squidward: Huh? (guard worm lands in Squidward's arm snarling at him. Runs off screaming as the worm angrily chases him)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
<< Season 3 SpongeBob SquarePants - Transcripts - Season 4 Season 5 >>
61a 61b | 62a 62b | 63_ | 64a 64b | 65a 65b | 66_ | 67a 67b | 68a 68b | 69a 69b | 70a 70b
71a 71b | 72a 72b | 73a 73b | 74a 74b | 75a 75b | 76a 76b | 77a 77b | 78a 78b | 79a 79b | 80a 80b
Personal tools
Namespaces

Variants
Actions
Navigation
Community
Content
Toolbox