Editing Episode Transcript: Truth or Square

*[[Gary the Snail|Gary the Snail]]

*[[Pearl Krabs (non-speaking)]]

*[[Mrs.Puff (non-speaking)]]

(the episode begins with a opening narration)

'''Patchy''': Huh? (the scene shifts to show a room. It has a couch, a TV, a poster for The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie, and an animation cel of SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab. The security guard opens the door. Patchy walks in)

'''Patchy''': Yeah. A shrimp cocktail. (Patchy chuckles. The security guard puts his hand out and then back in with a shrimp cocktail. He gives it to Patchy) Ooh! Now, that's what I call service... (the security guard smiles) with a smile! (He smiles.) 

(The security guard closes the door, and the SpongeBob part of the episode begins with the title card and opening credits. The episode proper begins showing the three houses of Conch Street at night. The scene transitions to morning. The scene changes to SpongeBob's bedroom, where A Snail's shell is shaking with a blanket on top of it. Next to Gary is an traditional alarm clock)

'''Gary the Snail''': (in his shell) (first word) Meow. (the alarm clock goes off) Meow. (Gary's head pops out of his shell) Meow.  

 

'''SpongeBob SquarePants''':(first words) Good morning, Gary!

(The scene changes to show the exterior of SpongeBob's pineapple, where SpongeBob's door open and a line of alarm clocks are leading to the inside of an Easter Island Head house. The camera follows the alarm clocks to the door and then moves up. A voice is heard muttering)

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, watch the potty mouth, Gare. Today is a day for gentle reflection. Aw, I remember my first visit to the Krusty Krab. (flashback begins. It shows the exterior of the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob's Mom and Dad are walking to it. The scene shifts to show SpongeBob's Mom and Dad)

 

'''Margaret SquarePants''':(first words)  Oh. (zoom out to reveal that she is pregnant with SpongeBob) Well, what do you think, baby? Should we eat here? (the scene moves to show the inside of Margaret's womb. SpongeBob swims off-screen. The scene returns to show Margaret. She is moved inside to the front of the cash register boat) Well, okay, then. (the scene returns to the womb and SpongeBob is next to Margaret's belly button which looks like a window. Margaret's voice is echoing) What would you like? (SpongeBob looks out Margaret's belly button and sees the Galley Grub)

'''SpongeBob''': Krabby Patty! (the scene changes to show Margaret and Harold sitting at a table eating Krabby Patties. In the womb, SpongeBob is eating the Krabby Patties through the umbilical cord) Yummy! (takes the cord, rips it out, and sucks on the cord. The flashback ends and SpongeBob is shown laying on the ground being held up by his elbows) Good times. (an alarm clock appears. SpongeBob jumps up and starts running in the air) Oh, sorry, Gary, we can reminisce later. I gotta get ready.

(SpongeBob runs off-screen and Gary hisses at the alarm clock. The alarm clock "runs" away. The scene changes to show SpongeBob with a towel around his waist in the bathroom. He turns on the shower and takes the towel off. The scene shows SpongeBob showering)

  '''SpongeBob''':I never thought that I would have a chance like this.

'''SpongeBob''': But I don't have time to wait in line. Sorry, but I can't be late today. (steps on people's head's to get to the Krusty Krab)

'''SpongeBob''': Sorry, everyone, but Mr. Krabs needs me. (more fish make annoyed noises. Once SpongeBob reaches the end, the scene changes to the interior of the Krusty Krab. The scene shows several fish waiting on the door. Squeezes himself through the cracked between the doors and the ground. Enters the Krusty Krab. Lands in the arms of a greedy crab) Reporting for duty, sir.  

 

'''Mr. Eugene Harold Krabs''':(first words) Sit down, boy.

'''Squidward Tentacles''':(first words) Isn't that just the Krusty Krab?

'''Mr. Krabs''': Don't make me have a flashback. (a flashback begins. It shows Squidward sleeping at his station. Fred is on the other side of the Cash register. The scene changes to show SpongeBob opening the Krusty Krab broom closet to find Squidward sleeping. The scene changes to show a close shot of Frankie Billy about to eat a patty at the Krusty Krab. The shot widens to show Squidward sleeping on Frankie Billy's table. It also reveals that Frankie Billy is dining with Nancy. The scene changes to show a close shot of the sink in the Krusty Krab kitchen. Bubbles are coming out of the sink and Squidward's snoring is heard. The shot widens to show Squidward with his head in the sink. The scene changes to show SpongeBob on a Krusty Krab stall and reading a newspaper. Squidward's snores are heard. SpongeBob looks into the stall next to his and sees Squidward holding a newspaper and sleeping. The flashback ends)

'''Mr. Krabs''': And to help watch out for Plankton, I've hired some extra security.  

 

(a dark figure is shown in the corner. It walks into the light. It is revealed to be a dimwitted sea star . He has an angry look on his face. He smacks his fist into his palm)

'''Patrick Star''': (no longer having an angry face; saluting) (first words) Yes, sir. (surveys the area. Sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall) Who are you, and who are you working for?! (Mr. Krabs chuckles)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton doesn't stand a chance. (the scene changes to show the exterior of the Chum Bucket. It has a banner on it that reads "Celebrating 50 years of failure." The camera zooms in. As it does this, the doors open and an image of the dining area is shown and it pans into that. Cross-fade to a wide shot of the lab. A computer is shown in her computer form and a tiny deep green planktonic copepod  is shown at his desk)

'''Sheldon James Plankton''':(first words) (as the camera is still panning in) It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A thousand and three times I've almost had that recipe, and a thousand and three times I've been launched by that Krabs! He celebrates eleventy-seven years of success, (cut to a medium shot of Plankton at his desk) I'm left with four score and forty fortnights of failure! (cut to a closer shot of Plankton. He tears up) I give up, Karen. Krabs has won!

'''Karen Plankton''': (offscreen) (first words) Well, you'll never get the formula with that attitude. (onscreen) Maybe a thousand and four will be your lucky number.

'''Karen''': Oh, right, the launchings. (her face is replaced by a loading bar and the word "accessing" above it) I've got them all on my hard drive.  

 

(on Karen's monitor, we see Mr. Krabs in a baseball uniform, exiting the Krusty Krab. The scene shifts to show just the scene. Mr. Krabs pushes Plankton into the air. Mr. Krabs does this with a glove that he is wearing. Mr. Krabs spits and then throws Plankton. Plankton hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs' claw putting down a golf tee. He puts Plankton on the tee. He is then shown in a golf outfit, holding a golf club. He then prepares to hit Plankton)

(The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs riding on a seahorse, wearing a polo uniform, and holding a polo stick. Plankton is shown running away from the polo stick. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding a slingshot with Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs is holding the slingshot back. Mr. Krabs releases the slingshot. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs in a hockey uniform holding a hockey stick. He is pushing Plankton on some ice that is outside of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs hits Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs with a curling stone that has Plankton on it. Mr. Krabs pushes the curling stone on the ice. SpongeBob takes a broom and sweeps and walks backwards until he reaches the Chum Bucket. Plankton screams until he hits the Chum Bucket doors. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob in football uniforms. SpongeBob is holding Plankton horizontally in front of Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs runs up and kicks Plankton. Plankton screams and hits the Chum Bucket. There is a goal post painted on the Chum Bucket. SpongeBob pops and puts both his arms horizontally in the air, signally that Mr. Krabs got the point. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs holding Plankton, walking outside the Krusty Krab)

'''Karen''':(last words) That's right. Now get out there and steal that recipe.

'''Plankton''': (saluting Karen) Yes, Ma'am! (bubble-wipe to show fish outside of the Krusty Krab)

'''Mr. Krabs''': Now to add some special anniversary deals to the menu. (claw, holding a pencil appears and he starts adding decimal points after the first zero in the prices and adding an extra zero at the end of the prices as he talks) Krabby Patty... 20 bucks. 39 bucks. 30. (chuckles. The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs on a ladder next to the Galley Grub) Oh, number zero, how I love you so. (Squidward walks into frame and Mr. Krabs starts to walk down the ladder) SpongeBob! (the scene shifts to show a similar scene as before, but with the frame moved down. SpongeBob runs into the frame)

'''SpongeBob''': I am? (SpongeBob flings his arms in the air) Yay! (runs around with his arms in the air) Yeah! Yeah!

'''Squidward, SpongeBob, and Mr. Krabs''': Hmm...  

 

'''Cowboy SpongeBob''': Yee-haw!  

(He laughs. The scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a 1970s theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. On the table is a lava lamp. The floor is a rug. The window has green wallpaper with a pattern on it. The metal wall has orange and red striped wall paper on it. The lights have been replaced by a disco ball. The boxes that are in the rafters have been pained with a blue pattern. The doors have been replaced by bead entrances. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The boat has carpet material around it. The order window has been painted to have a blue and red pattern. SpongeBob pops his head out of the window. He is wearing an Afro wig and holding a tray of food)

'''Disco-Man SpongeBob''': You come here often?  

(He laughs. The scene changes to show the interior of the Krusty Krab with a space theme. Frankie Billy and Evelyn are shown at a table. They are wearing space helmets. The tables have been replaced and the barrels have been replaced with moon craters which goes along with the moon floor. The window has space wallpaper on it. The lights have been replaced by images of Mars, a moon, and Saturn. The doors have been replaced by doors that have two sides and jagged edges and open up, instead of go outward. The scene pans to show Squidward in the order boat. The order boat looks similar to a moon rover. The metal wall has stars and a meteor. The order window looks similar to the doors. Squidward is wearing a space helmet. The order window opens and things and Squidward go through it. The scene then shows Squidward in space. He is screaming. He passes SpongeBob who is wearing his water helmet. He is cooking on his grill. He laughs. The flashback ends)

'''Squidward''': Battening down the word hatches, sir.  

(Squidward and Mr. Krabs walk away. SpongeBob looks at the two quarters. He smiles. He flies up into the air. The scene changes to show the inside of the bathroom. SpongeBob prances into the bathroom. He goes into a stall, takes out a pair of tongs and grabs the end of a pink toilet paper roll. The scene changes to the exterior of the bathroom. Squidward is walking by. SpongeBob runs out of the bathroom holding on to the tongs which are holding on to the toilet paper. Squidward stops. SpongeBob takes a piece of the toilet paper, twirls it around, and throws it up and swings on it. He swings around a pole, making the toilet paper look like a swirl on the pole. He lands on a table. The table spins around and ends up with bows on it. SpongeBob jumps in the air and lands between Patrick and Squidward. He twists the toilet paper around Patrick making him look muscular with a bow belt. Patrick flexes. SpongeBob twirls the toilet paper in the air and twists it around Squidward's head. He ends up with two bows on his head, which are connected to his mouth)

'''Squidward''': What? What are you...?  

(SpongeBob pulls on one of the strings that is attached to the bow. It makes Squidward smile)

 

 

'''Mr. Krabs''': Good work, boy. What, that's it?

 

(SpongeBob walks away. Mr. Krabs takes out his clipboard)

 

 

(Patrick is shown standing outside the bathroom. Squidward leaves the bathroom. Patrick sees Squidward and pushes him to the wall. The scene returns to Mr. Krabs)

 

[The scene changes to show the exterior of the Krusty Krab. The crowd is chanting.]

 

 

'''Mr. Krabs''': [As the crowd is still saying, "We want Krabby Patties!"] Okay, open your ears. These people have come from miles around because they love my patties. I want every employee on their best behavior.

 

[SpongeBob and Squidward are shown sitting at a table. Squidward has his head down. By this point, the crowd has stopped.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': So, let's get out there and sell some Krabby Patties!

[SpongeBob is shown standing up]

'''SpongeBob''': Yes! Yeah! Ooh, I almost forgot. Mr. Krabs, wait! There's one last decoration! [The scene changes to show the Kitchen, focused on the door. SpongeBob, Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and Patrick walk to the freezer. SpongeBob pulls a bar that is holding the shut.] I present to you... [SpongeBob tries to open the freezer door, but it is difficult.] [Straining] I present to you... [He yells and pulls the handle off. It hits Squidward in the face. He falls over and twitches his leg. The scene changes to show a white cloud. It fades away and the four are shown looking into the freezer. Mr. Krabs and Squidward gasp.] ... my ode to the Krabby Patty [the scene shows a giant ice sculpture of a Krabby Patty on a pedestal.] made entirely out of ice.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Yessh, boy. [The four walk into the freezer. The scene pans out to show how big the sculpture is.] This thing's enormous.

'''Squidward''': [Shivering] And cold.

[The scene shows Mr. Krabs' claw on the backside of the sculpture.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': All right, let's get this thing out of here. Me customers are waiting.

[The scene shows Mr. Krabs, followed by Squidward and Patrick on the backside of the sculpture and SpongeBob on its front side.]

'''SpongeBob''': Ready? Set? [SpongeBob pulls the sculpture while the other three push it. It does not move. Instead, SpongeBob goes flying. out the freezer. He bounces off the kitchen's front wall and enters the freezer again. The door closes after him. SpongeBob hits the sculpture's pedestal and slides to the floor. The other three stare at the freezer door. Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Patrick scream.] Guys, I'm okay. No need to scream.

[Squidward and Mr. Krabs scream and run to the freezer door. When they do so, they trample SpongeBob and Patrick. Squidward and Mr. Krabs start pounding on the door.]

'''Mr. Krabs:''' The door!

[The exterior of the freezer is shown. The door is extruding as the two pound on it. The scene shows Patrick and SpongeBob on the floor.]

'''SpongeBob''': Oh, no. Patrick, stand up! [The two stand up.] We're locked in! [SpongeBob pulls Patrick close.] This is gonna spoil the eleventy-seventh anniversary.

'''Crowd''': We want Krabby Patties! We want...

'''Mr. Krabs''': Somebody...

[The scene returns to the interior of the freezer.]

'''Mr. Krabs and Squidward''': Anybody, I don't care who!

[The two stop pounding on the door.]

'''SpongeBob''': How do we get out?!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Everybody calm down. I spent a lifetime working in this restaurant, and I know there's only one way out of here.

'''Patrick''': A high school diploma?

'''Mr. Krabs''': No, [The scene pans up to an air duct on the ceiling. It is right above the Krabby Patty Sculpture] the air duct. [A ladder falls on the side of the sculpture. Mr. Krabs walks up the ladder, goes to the air duct and takes off the cover. The scene changes to show the interior of an air duct. Mr. Krabs pops his walks in.] This way boys. [SpongeBob follows him. Squidward pops his head into the duct. Patrick, pops his head in too, but when he does, his head pushes Squidward up to the top of the duct. The scene shows the center of the duct system with ducts in every direction.] All we gotta to do is head through this duct.

'''Squidward''': Which one? There must be 20 ways to go.

'''SpongeBob''': Not to worry, Squidward. I have the entire map memorized.

[SpongeBob turns around and grunts. His holes mash together and makes the map.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': [While SpongeBob is still grunting] Uh, hmm, uh...

'''SpongeBob''': [Stressed] Hurry up, guys, this kind of hurts.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Well, according to the map, we just go straight, take a right between these three moldy tree stumps, then head towards that kidney-bean shaped puddle of gravy.

'''Squidward''': That's not the map, you old barnacle. Those are [The scene zooms into SpongeBob's back, showing the three "stumps" and the "pile of gravy."] three moles and a birthmark.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh. All right, [Mr. Krabs turns around and points to one of the vents] then, let's try this one.

[The scene changes to an area that shows the exterior of several vents. A bulge in the closest vent appears. The screaming of Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward is heard.]

'''Squidward''': [Off-Screen] It's this way.

[The bulge continues until it stops. The scream is heard again, but it is heard three times, each with an additional bulge to the vent.]

'''Patrick''': Here it is.

[The bulge moves until it finds a vertical pipe, then falls quickly. The scene changes to show the interior of the vent. Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick fall past the scene, screaming. The scene changes to show the exterior of the pipes, except the one that the four are in is not the exterior. The four go through a few curves until they land in a large vent room. They way that they land is, Mr. Krabs on the right, then SpongeBob on top of Squidward, and Patrick lying on his belly on the left. Next to Mr. Krabs there is a yellow wrapper that says, "Krabby Patty" in blue and has a Krabby Patty.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey, what's this? [Mr. Krabs picks it up and the scene zooms in to show the wrapper clearly.] It's an old Krabby Patty wrapper. [The scene returns to the one before.] Aah, that takes me back to the good old days.

[The scene returns to the wrapper and fades to show a black and white scene. The animation is in the style of 1950s cartoons. The scene shows baby SpongeBob in front of a TV.]

'''TV Narrator (1950s)''': Now a word from our sponsor.

[SpongeBob leans towards the TV and screams in happiness. The scene shifts to the TV.]

'''Female Singers''': [As the letters appear] ♪ K-R-A-B-B-Y [The letters go up and down. The letters in the next part are not shown.] P-A-T-T-Y ♪

[A Krabby Patty falls on top of the letters.]

'''Male Singers''': ♪ Bud dum dum dum dum ♪

'''Female Singers''': ♪ Krabby Patty [The scene widens to show the Krabby Patty on a plate, which is being held by a young Mr. Krabs] give 'em a try ♪

[The scene changes to show SpongeBob's face]

'''Mr. Krabs''': [Off-Screen] ♪ Come on down and... ♪

'''Mr. Krabs and the Female Singers''': ♪ ...buy, buy, buy. ♪

'''Female Singers''': ♪ Not just one or [The patty becomes smaller and a second patty appears] two or [The two patties become small and a third patty appears] three, but [The Krabby Patties spin left, getting smaller, and three more patties join them.] enough for the whole, [6 fish appear next to each patty.] family. ♪

[The scene changes to show a container of fries with "K K" on it, a Krabby Patty, and a soda container with "K K" on it.]

'''TV Narrator (1950s)''': [Off-Screen] Yes, folks, nine out of ten doctors recommend eating at least one Krabby Patty a day to maintain a healthy lifestyle and a youthful, positive attitude.

[The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs in a doctor's office, wearing a doctor outfit.]

'''Dr. Krabs''': [As the scene pans in] I'm a doctor... as far as you know, and I believe Krabby Patties add years to your life. [The panning stops] So, what are you waiting for? Go out and get yourself a Krabby Patty. [The scene changes to show a sack with "K K" on it.] [Off-Screen] Or go out and buy a Sackful of Krabbies. [The scene changes to show a crate with "K K" on it. The crate is full of Krabby Patties.] Or better yet, go out and get yourself a case of the Krabbies. [The scene returns to "Dr. Krabs." He lifts up a Krabby Patty.] For your health.

[The scene changes to show SpongeBob. The scene changes to show "K."]

'''Female Singers''': [As each letter goes on the screen individually] ♪ K-R-A-B-B-Y P-A-T-T-Y [The scene changes to show the Soda, Krabby Patty, and Fries from earlier.] Krabby Patty. ♪

[The scene changes to show SpongeBob walking to the Krusty Krab. The scene changes to show the order boat and an octopus that might be Squidward. He presses a button on the cash register and it opens. Six Krabby Patties appear. The scene changes to show a counter. SpongeBob pops his head above the counter. Margaret and Harold SquarePants run into the scene. The octopus comes into the scene with a plate of three Krabby Patties. SpongeBob starts grabbing for them. The octopus gives SpongeBob a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob eats the Patty and then hearts form in his eyes. The hearts get bigger and cover the screen. There is an old TV turning off and the flashback ends. Mr. Krabs sighs.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': Back then, Krabby Patties only cost a dime. [Mr. Krabs gets angry and crumples up the wrapper.] It was a dark and [He throws the wrapper on the floor.] evil time. [Mr. Krabs' eyes are shown with a dime in each, where his pupils should be. He starts sweating.] I still have nightmares.

[Squidward sobs.]

'''Squidward''': We'll never get out of here.

'''SpongeBob''': Don't worry Squidward. We'll find a way out and then we'll have the best eleventy-seventh anniversary ever. All we have to do is stick together.

[The scene changes to show Mr. Krabs, SpongeBob, Squidward, and Patrick in a short vent. They are all close together. They are crawling along. The scene then shows a close shot of Patrick and Squidward. Patrick does some shallow breathing. Squidward gets angry. Squidward turns his head.]

'''Squidward''': Stop breathing on my neck. Yuck.

[Patrick holds his breath. He strains more and more until he cannot take it anymore. He breaths and spit gets all over Squidward's face. The group stops. The scene shifts to show a medium shot of the group.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey, I think [He points ahead] I see the exit.

[The scene changes to show a red metal room. A circular door is shown. It starts turning. Mr. Krabs enters the room. A wider shot of the room is shown. It shows 11 TVs, a chair, and a control panel. One of the screens shows Conch Street. One of the screens shows the exterior of Patrick's rock. One of the screens shows the exterior of Mr. Krabs' anchor. One of the screens shows the exterior of the Chum Bucket. One of the screens shows the exterior of the Krusty Krab. One of the screens shows the exterior of a Treedome. One of the screens shows part of a bathroom. One of the screens shows part of downtown Bikini Bottom. One of the screens shows a lady screaming inside of the Barg'N-Mart. One of the screens shows Mr. Krabs' office. One of the screens shows the Krusty Krab kitchen.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': Ah, barnacles. It's just the Surveillance Room.

[Mr. Krabs walks inside. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward enter.]

'''SpongeBob''': Oh. My house is on TV.

'''Squidward''': All of our houses are on TV.

[Mr. Krabs backs away until he is out of frame]

[A TV is shown. It shows SpongeBob's bedroom. Gary is jumping on SpongeBob's bed.]

'''Gary''':(last words) Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.

'''SpongeBob''': [while Gary meows] Gary the Snail, you get down from that bed this instant.

'''Patrick''': [pointing to another TV] Hey, there's my house.

[The screen shows the interior of Patrick's house. In it, there is a couch and a TV that has the Realistic Fish Head on it. The scene returns to the three.]

'''Squidward''': You left your TV on.

'''Patrick''': Well, duh. I don't want to miss my shows.

'''SpongeBob''': [Pointing to a TV] Look, it's Sandy!

[The scene shows a TV that shows  a land squirrel brushing her teeth in her bathroom.]

Squidward: Mr. Krabs, [He turns his head around] why do you have cameras watching us?

Mr. Krabs: Oh, uh... uh... uh... [He shrugs] I just want to make sure you all floss after every meal.

SpongeBob: Thank you, Mr. Krabs. Dental hygiene is very, very important.

Patrick: [pointing to a screen] Hey, who are those guys?

[The scene shows the back of the group looking at the screen of themselves. Mr. Krabs walks back into frame.]

SpongeBob: I think it's us, Patrick. [The four turn around] But, who are they?

[The screen shows a side view of the room. The four are shown on one side of the room and a cameraman and boom microphone operator are shown on the other.]

[The boom microphone operator drops the boom microphone. He then lifts the cameraman up a vent that is located above them. The cameraman then lifts up the boom microphone operator. They leave. The scene changes to show SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs in front of the TVs. The Krusty Krab TV that shows the exterior shows the crowd of fish outside.]

'''Crowd''': [On TV] We want Krabby Patties!

[Mr. Krabs gasps.]

[While the crowd says, "We want Krabby Patties!"]

Mr.Krabs:Me customers are getting antsy.

[The Scene shows the outside of the Krusty Krab]

'''Crowd''': ...Patties! We want Krabby Patties! [A line is shown, it then pans down to show that Plankton is between the fishes' legs] Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! [Plankton sneaks past the line] We want Krabby Patties!

[Plankton makes it to an exterior air vent. He squeezes in. He then sneaks inside an air vent. He sneaks into a hole and falls in. He screams. He hits parts of vents. The scene changes to show another vent.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': [Off-screen] We're [On screen with the rest of the group] getting warm. I can feel it.

'''SpongeBob''': That might just be my hand, Mr. Krabs.

[The scene shows a fork in the vents. The scene returns to the four.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': Hmm, a crossroads. [Mr. Krabs points to the right] I'll go this way, and SpongeBob, [He points to the left] you lead them down that way.

[Mr. Krabs enters the right path]

'''SpongeBob''': Lead them? I can finally [He takes off his Krusty Krab hat and takes out a a Tyrolean hat and puts it on.] use my leader hat... [The scene shows SpongeBob wearing sock garters.] and my lederhosen.

'''Patrick''': Nice.

'''Squidward''': Those are just sock garters, you idiot.

'''SpongeBob''': Follow me!

[The three start moving.]

'''Squidward''': This is not happening. It's just not happening.

'''SpongeBob''': Guys, its a dead end.

[The scene changes to show Plankton falling through the pipes. He falls through another vent grate into a vent.]

'''Plankton''': Thank Neptune that's over. [SpongeBob is heard screaming of screen]

[SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward fall through the top of the vent and land on Plankton]

[Squidward and Patrick lift their heads up. Plankton manages to get out from under the three. He is dizzy. He recovers from being dizzy.]

'''Plankton''': SpongeBob! Aggh! [Squidward, Patrick, and SpongeBob are shown. They are all sitting up. SpongeBob puts his work hat back on.] Why must you always ruin my plans?

'''SpongeBob''': Plankton, [He lift Plankton up] you're trying to steal the Krabby Patty recipe again.

Plankton: Uh, I didn't, uh... Okay fine. You caught me. You happy now?

'''SpongeBob''': You know, this reminds me of the time Mr. Krabs confided in me the Krabby Patty recipe. Oh, I don't want to bore you with my silly old stories.

'''Plankton''': Oh, you couldn't possibly bore me.

'''SpongeBob''': Well, okay. Mr. Krabs called me into his office.

[A flashback begins. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in Mr. Krabs' office.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': SpongeBob, you've been working here for a while now, so I think I can trust you. It's time I told you.

[SpongeBob screams and gasps.]

'''SpongeBob''': You mean?

[Mr. Krabs' lips are shown.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': Yes. The Krabby Patty formular. Follow me, son. [Mr. Krabs puts his arm around SpongeBob and they start walking.] We need to go where no one will ever hear us. [They walk out of the Krusty Krab. They are shown leaving Bikini Bottom. They are shown going through a jungle. They are wearing safari explorer clothing. They are shown going a desert. They are wearing desert clothing. They are shown on the seas in a storm. They are wearing rain coats and hats. They are shown crossing a bridge in the mountains. They are shown climbing up a mountain. They are wearing winter clothing. They are shown walking up to flat land. They are tired and dirty.] Ugh. We finally made it. [Mr. Krabs pushes SpongeBob ahead quickly until they reach the back of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs opens the door.] Quick, into me office before anyone sees us.

[The door closes. The flashback ends. Plankton is shown in SpongeBob's hand.]

'''Plankton''': What? You went in a circle. Why didn't you just stay in the Krusty Krab?

'''SpongeBob''': We wanted to make sure we weren't followed. Then, Mr. Krabs leaned close and whispered the recipe.

'''Plankton''': Yes? Go on.

[The flashback resumes. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob are shown in the Krusty Krab. They are cleaned up.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': Now, remember, you can never tell another living soul.

'''Plankton''': [Off-Screen] Wait! [The scene expands it shows Mr. Krabs in a thought bubble connected to SpongeBob. Plankton has a pen.] Wait! Hold on!

'''Mr. Krabs''': [Holding on to the edge of the bubble] What's that?

'''Plankton''': My pen is out of ink. [Plankton tries to get the pen to work. Eventually, it works.] Okay, okay, go ahead.

'''Mr. Krabs''': Plankton. [He grabs Plankton.] You'll never have get me formula. [He squishes Plankton up like a ball.] Not even in a flashback.

[Mr. Krabs laughs and throws Plankton through another grate. Plankton falls through the pipes again. The scene returns to SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward. Mr. Krabs has joined the group.]

'''Squidward''': SpongeBob, if you had never come to Bikini Bottom, this wouldn't be happening-

[Squidward realizes something and smiles.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': Squidward, what's with the creepy smile?

Squidward: I was just [he chuckles] remembering the world before SpongeBob.

[He laughs a flashback begins. Squidward is shown sleeping in his bed. He wakes up, takes a deep breath, yawns, and stretches out his arm tentacles. He jumps out of bed. He opens the window. He takes out a watering can and waters a plot of land that is where SpongeBob's house should be. Flowers with faces pop out of the ground.]

'''Flowers''': Morning, Squidward.

[Squidward is shown in his doorway. There is a rainbow above his house and scallops are floating around the rainbow. Squidward sniffs and then sighs contently. He skips out of his house. He then twirls. Presents fall around him. One part opens like a door and Squidward rides his recumbent bicycle. He rides until he hits a rock. He flies out of the bicycle. His helmet also falls off revealing Squidward's Krusty Krab hat. He hits the door to the Krusty Krab. The door opens. He walks to his station while getting his balance back. He passes a line of customers. He listens into the Kitchen and then looks in. A brown fish is shown.]

'''Squidward''': Good morning, Not SpongeBob.

[Squidward lifts up Not SpongeBob and kisses him on the forehead. He runs to the front of his station. He puts his arm tentacles on the top of the cash register and sighs. SpongeBob's laughing his heard, which makes Squidward cringe. The scene changes to show the group in modern day. SpongeBob is laughing. SpongeBob grabs Squidward's head and pulls it next to his.]

'''SpongeBob''': But, Squidward, you're glad I moved in. Remember that day? [A flashback begins. SpongeBob is shown with a fish named Patty Rechid. SpongeBob has his hand on his "chin." A shoe house is shown.] Uh-uh. [A castle in a fishbowl is shown.] Nah. [A toilet house is shown.] Ew.

[The scene moves upwards to the surface of the water. a boat is shown. The boat turns. The side of the boat is shown. A pineapple falls off the boat. It falls into the water. Patrick and Squidward's houses are shown next to a garden, where SpongeBob house should be. Squidward leaves his house and goes over to the garden. He takes a deep breath, sighs, and starts working. SpongeBob and Patty walk by. They are sad.]

'''Patty Rechid''': Okay, well, that's every available house in Bikini Bottom.

[They look up to see the pineapple. Squidward stops working.]

'''Squidward''': My secret garden is finally done.

[The pineapple falls on Squidward. He cuts out a hole so that he can leave. It is in the same place where SpongeBob's door should be. Squidward falls down.]

'''Patty Rechid''': Oh yeah, I forgot about that one.

'''SpongeBob''': It's beautiful. [He gives Patty a large bag of money] I'll take it. [He walks forward. Patty is happy. Squidward gets up.] [As he is walking] Howdy, neighbor! [He stops walking.] I'm SpongeBob SquarePants. [He hugs Squidward.] And we're going to be bestest friends. [Patrick walks into the scene.] Hey, Patrick. Guess who just moved in right next door?

'''Patrick''': Neighbor hug!

[Patrick hugs Squidward and SpongeBob. Squidward groans. The flashback ends to show the group, except Mr. Krabs, hugging. They are in a different part of the vent than before.]

'''Crowd''': [Off-Screen] We want Krabby Patties! We Want [Mr. Krabs turns his head and gasps.] Krabby Patties!

'''Mr. Krabs''': What's the sound?[Mr. Krabs looks through a hole in the ventilation wall. The scene shows a hole in the Krusty Krab with Mr. Krabs' eye behind it. He gasps.] Customers!

Crowd: We want Krabby Patties! We want Krabby Patties! We want to spend money!

'''Harold''': What do we want?

'''Crowd''': Krabby Patties!

'''Harold''': Why do want them?

'''Crowd''': To spend money!

[The scene returns to the vents. Mr. Krabs' pocket is bulging out.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh no. All that loose change out there [He takes out his wallet] is driving me wallet mad with money lost. [It barks and then pants.] Poor little guy's starving. [He then puts his wallet through the hole.] There you go, boy. You're free. Go towards the money boy. Towards the money!

[The wallet falls in front of the Krusty Krab doors. Dave walks by.]

'''Dave''': Hey, a wallet! [He picks it up and opens it.] And there's 50 bucks in it. All right!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Hey! Oh no! [He starts crying.] What am I going to do? [He stops crying.] We gotta get out of here. Now!

'''SpongeBob''': Oh. If only Sandy were here. She could help us.

'''Patrick''': Oh! Hey, maybe we can use this. [He goes into his pants a takes out a walkie talkie.] I borrowed it from Sandy's treedome. It might be our way outta here. Shh! Everybody quiet! [Shouts] Hey, Sandy, I got your radio! If you want it back, come and get it! She'll come.

[Patrick pats the walkie talkie.]

'''Squidward''': Oh, give me that. [He takes the Walkie Talkie. He tunes it.] Sandy, come in, Sandy.

Voice: Sandy Cheeks here. [The scene changes to show the exterior of the Treedome.] So it was

[The scene changes to show the squirrel]

Sandy Cheeks:(first word) You who stole my other radio, Squidward!

[The scene returns to the vents.]

'''Squidward''': What? No. I'm just-- I...

'''Patrick''': Sandy's trapped in that box! [Patrick grabs the walkie talkie and throws it on the ground, breaking it.] Sandy?

'''SpongeBob''': Remember the day Sandy and I got married?

[The other three gasp.]

'''Mr. Krabs''': What?!

'''Squidward''': No!

'''Patrick''': I'm freaking out!

'''SpongeBob''': Mm-hmm...

[A flashback starts.A female pufferfish named Mrs. Puff  is shown playing the organ. Sandy is shown in a wedding dress. She starts to walk down the aisle. The scene changes to show SpongeBob at the end of the aisle with a wedding officiant. Patrick is near SpongeBob. One each side of the aisle there is a crowd of people, including Mr. Krabs and a whale named Pearl. Sandy finishes walking down the aisle.]

'''Wedding officiant''': Friends, we have gathered here today to join these two hearts [The crowd is shown] in the bonds of love. [Plankton is shown. He looks up. The scene widens to shown Karen in her mobile form. She looks at Plankton. The scene returns to SpongeBob, Sandy and the wedding officiant] SpongeBob, do you take Sandy as your lawfully wedded wife?

'''SpongeBob''': I do.

'''Wedding officiant''': And Sandy, do you take SpongeBob as your lawfully wedded husband?

'''Sandy''':(last word) And how!

[The wedding officiant walks away backwards. SpongeBob sprays breath spray into his mouth. He straightens his bow tie. SpongeBob and Sandy lean in and SpongeBob kisses Sandy's helmet. SpongeBob and Sandy look at the crowd. A light breaks and falls down, nearly hitting SpongeBob and Sandy. The scene shows the crowd. They are all angry.]

'''Frank (red shirt)''': Boo! You stink!

'''Mr. Krabs''': Worst play I've ever seen. [The scene changes to shows part of the exterior of the Recreation Center. There is a sign that reads, "Tonight" and below that "The Marriage of SpongeBob" and below that there is an image of SpongeBob's head with a bow tie. The audience starts to leave.] And a total rip-off!

'''Fish''': What has happened to the theater?

[The scene then shows a wide shot of the Recreation Center. There is a sign that reads, "Tonight Only The Marriage of SpongeBob"]

'''Another Fish''': Lousy costumes.

[The scene returns to the interior. SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, and the wedding officiant remain.]

{{Transcripts/Season 6}}