Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV

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Idiot Box	Doing Time

Episode Article: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy IV

Characters

• SpongeBob
• Patrick
• Squidward
• Sandy
• Plankton
• Mrs. Puff
• Mermaid Man
• Barnacle Boy
• Larry the Lobster
• Scooter

Announcer: Ahh, the Krusty Krab. Through these doors pass all the many kinds of undersea life.

Mermaid Man: Through the double doors! Away!

Announcer: And also these guys.

Barnacle Boy: I told you I'm not hungry, Mermaid Man!

Mermaid Man: N-nonsense, Barnacle Boy, we've got to keep up our strength for the fight against evil!

Barnacle Boy: What a dive.

Mermaid Man: To the register! Away!

Squidward: Can I help you?

Mermaid Man: A double krabby patty and coral bits for me, and a silly meal for the lad.

Barnacle Boy: It's not for the toy, I just...I've gotta fit in the tights, y'know?

Squidward: Whatever. Five dollars, please.

Mermaid Man: You got it, bucky. Will this cover it? (pulls out a nut/bolt)

Squidward: No.

Barnacle Boy: Listen big nose, this guy has been saving your butt since you were born. Don't you got a living legend discount or something?

Squidward: This is a restaurant, not a lending library. And who are you calling big nose, big nose? (both press noses against each other. Barnacle Boy gets out a $5 bill and gives it to Squidward)

Barnacle Boy: Well next time danger threatens, don't expect any help from us!

Squidward: I’m shakin’. Heh. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.

SpongeBob: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy? Must...play...have autograph! (stretches arms to gets a piece of paper and a pen)

Mermaid Man: If you wanna grow up strong like me...you gotta leave room for seconds. Here comes our waiter!

SpongeBob: Autographhhhh!!!!

Barnacle Boy: Holy sea cow, it's that Sponge-kid!

Mermaid Man: Quick lad, (pants falls down) to the invisible boat mobile! Away!

Barnacle Boy: Where'd we park?

Mermaid Man: Uhh...

SpongeBob: Can I have your bowling can I have your bowling can I.. they're gone! (gasps) Mermaid Man's belt!

Mermaid Man: Wait! We'll find it with the invisible boat alarm! (Barnacle Boy jumps on the stick shift)

Barnacle Boy: Ow! I told you we shoulda’ got the automatic!

SpongeBob: Hey guys! Wait up! I've got something for you...

Barnacle Boy: Floor it! (both speed off in the boat)

SpongeBob: You forgot your belt! You forgot...Mermaid Man's secret utility belt! The emblem of submersible justice! For 65 years, this belt has helped prevent the fall of nations...and pants. I can't believe I'm actually holding it in my hands! Well, I guess I should return it. Or not! I could just hang onto it till after work...all alone with Mermaid Man's belt. I wonder what this button does! Whoa! The small ray! Hmm...

Squidward: Here's your shake, sir. (hands a small krabby patty to a cockroach)

SpongeBob: There you go. Every night before he went to sleep, Jonah would pray and ask God if he find a new message to find to deliver, sir.

Squidward: SpongeBob, what's going on in here? Huh? (SpongeBob wears a tiny hat and holds a tiny spatula) Why's everything all... tiny?

SpongeBob: I don't know.

Squidward: What do you got there?

SpongeBob: Nothing.

Squidward: No, really?

SpongeBob: Nothing.

Squidward: You've got something alright, let's see it!

SpongeBob: No! No!

Squidward: Is that Mermaid Man's belt?

SpongeBob: Yes.

Squidward: Wow! I can't believe he'd lend it to you!

SpongeBob: Me, uh, either.

Squidward: He didn't lend it to you, did he?

SpongeBob: Please don't tell!

Squidward: You stole it!

SpongeBob: Please don't tell!

Squidward: Oh. I'm telling.

SpongeBob: Squidward, if Mermaid Man finds out, he'll kick me out of his fan club for sure! Please don't tell!

Squidward: Uh-oh! There's the phone

SpongeBob: Don't!

Squidward: I'm walking towards the phone! (walks towards phone)

SpongeBob: No!

Squidward: I'm getting closer to the phone!

SpongeBob: Do-o-on't!

Squidward: And now, for the moment we've all been waiting for...

SpongeBob: I'm begging you!

Squidward: (picks up the phone) Hello. I'd like to speak to Mermaid... (SpongeBob shrinks Squidward) What the...what... (phones hits Squidward) Ow!

Mermaid Man: Hello? Hello?

Squidward: What did you do to me?

SpongeBob: I'm sorry Squidward, but you made me do it!

Squidward: Spongebob, if you don't return me to normal size right now, you are gonna be in really big trouble!

SpongeBob: Uhh....ok...uhh...

Squidward: I said now!

SpongeBob: Uhh...uhh... (belt is shown with many buttons to it)

Squidward: Do you hear me? (SpongeBob changes Squidward into a multi-eyed Squidward) Holy fish paste! Get it off me! Get it off me! (takes eyes off him) Don't you know how to work that thing?

SpongeBob: Uhh, I can do it! (SpongeBob changes Squidward a lot)

Squidward: Sto-o-p! I've got an idea. Let's call Mermaid Man and...

SpongeBob: No! I can't let you do that! But there must be someone else who can help! Someone smart and wise, with years of life experience...Patrick! Patrick! Patrick! Patrick!

Patrick: Ehh? Huh? Oh. Hi SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Patrick, I was at work and Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy came, and I got this belt, and look

Patrick: A Squidward action figure! Let me play with it!

SpongeBob: No, Patrick!

Patrick: Fighter pilot! Dive bomb!

SpongeBob: Patrick!

Patrick: And here comes a giant fist!

SpongeBob: Patrick, no! That's not an action figure! That's the real Squidward! I shrunk him by accident.

Patrick: Oh...and here comes a giant fist!

SpongeBob: Pat, you don't understand! This is serious! I don't know how to unshrink him! He could be stuck like this for the rest of his life.

Patrick: Oh, don't worry about it. He'll find love one day...

SpongeBob: You think so?

Patrick: Well, sure. But it'll be with someone his own size. Like this pickle! See? They like each other!

Squidward: N-n-n-n-no. (Patrick bangs them together like they wanna kiss)

SpongeBob: Oh, if only I knew how to work this thing!

Patrick: Lemme take a look at it.Hmmm...you know what the problem is?

SpongeBob: What?

Patrick: You got it set to 'M' for Minnesota when it should be set to 'W' for Where. br>

SpongeBob: Patrick, I don't think Where is a royal word.

Squidward: I wonder if a fall from this height could be enough to kill me.

SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm sorry I doubted you.

Patrick: Well alright then. Let 'er rip! It worked!

SpongeBob: Oh no!

Patrick: Look, SpongeBob’s giant! Can I be giant next?

SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm not giant, you shrunk too!

Patrick: You're kidding! Good thing I still got this pickle!

Squidward: Hey! Now will you take us to Mermaid Man!

SpongeBob: No! He can never find out! But I'll think of something. I promise. Until then, you'll be safe in this jar.

Patrick: You know what's funny? My pickle started out in a jar, and now it's in one again! Heh. It's like a pun or something. Heheh.

SpongeBob: It's only two people... no big deal, nobody else saw it...

Sandy: Howdy, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Aah! Sandy! (shrinks Sandy)

Sandy: What did y...for cryin’ o...What did y'all do to me?

SpongeBob: I'm sorry Sandy! Mermaid Man came in and..

Larry: Hey SpongeBob (shrinks Larry)

Fish #1: Hey SpongeBob, I... (shrinks fish)

Fish #2: Hi SpongeBob. (shrinks fish)

Mrs. Puff: Hello SpongeBob. (shrinks Mrs. Puff)

Scooter: Sponge-dude! (shrinks Scooter)

SpongeBob: Whoo! I'm gonna have to get a bigger jar.

Squidward: SpongeBob, will you just face facts? You've shrunken everybody in Bikini Bottom! You've got to go to Mermaid Man!

SpongeBob: Oh Squidward, he'll be so disappointed...

Sandy: Well, you can't leave us small forever!

SpongeBob: You don't understand!

Mrs. SquarePants: SpongeBob, you need to admit your mistakes!

SpongeBob: Mom?!

Mermaid Man: Your mother's right, son. Mermaid Man will understand.

Barnacle Boy: You're Mermaid Man, you old coot!

Mermaid Man: Oh yeah.

SpongeBob: Mermaid Man? I'm so sorry, it's just that I'm such a big fan, and your belt, and...

Mermaid Man: Oh, don't worry son. I understand. Why, I remember back when I first used the belt, the year was nineteen o eleventeen twelve, why I believe the president

All: Just tell him how to unshrink us!!!!!

Mermaid Man: Oh, yes. The unshrink ray... let's see, uh.. uh... did you set it to Where?

All: What?! (spells out GET SPONGEBOB!) Get SpongeBob!! Ahh!

Squidward: Now I have to drive five miles to go to the bathroom in my own home!

Sandy: And I need an elevator to climb one stair! HI-YA!

Mermaid man: We've been shrinking for years!

Barnacle boy: But this is ridiculous!

All: Everything's too big!!

SpongeBob: I've got it! (Shrinks town) Ta-da! Since I couldn't make you big, I made the city small! And now, only one more thing to shrink. Cheese! (shrinks self)

Squidward: I guess this is okay.

Larry: Yeah, what's the difference?

Lady fish: Good idea, SpongeBob. (everyone cheers as a bus comes back and Plankton gets off of it)

Plankton: Well, it's great to be back! (notices small Bikini Bottom)