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Episode Transcript: Gary Takes A Bath
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Episode Article: Gary Takes a Bath
Characters
Dialogue
SpongeBob: Gary! Looks like it's that time of week again: bath time. (Gary winces) Come on, let's go get the water started. (Walks off but Gary doesn't move; SpongeBob with an angry face comes back) You're going to have to get in that tub, Gary. Now, Gary, we can do this the hard way, or the easy way, or the medium way, or the semi-medium-easy-hard way, or the sorta hard with a touch of awkward-easy-difficulty-challenging way... So that's how you wanna play it, huh? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking in with a sponge-y ball) Gary! Check out this new toy. (throws the ball towards the tub) Fetch! (ball boomerangs back to SpongeBob who gasps and reads the box) *New* Boomerang Pet Ball: Really Works! Hmmm. (throws the box but it boomerangs back and hits SpongeBob in the head. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob running to Gary with a box of TNT on his chest) Gary! There's a bomb strapped to my chest! It's gonna explode in 3 seconds unless you take a bath! (pause) Please... (bomb explodes. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob trying to "hypnotize" Gary, for lack of a better term) I am now going to assault your mind with subliminal messages. (random pictures come up: a soap bar, a rubber duck, a running shower faucet, and a picture of a girl) I'm sorry you had to see that. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob on the phone) Hello, Fancy French Restaurant? I've got a naughty snail here who won't take a bath. What? Can you say that again? Slow down. It's like your speaking some other language! (hangs up. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob playing leap-frog) Hey, Gare! How 'bout some leap frog? Weehee! OK, your turn. (flips Gary into the wall and breaks his shell. Bubble-wipe to Gary with a cane) Hey Gare! How 'bout some leap frog? (Gary hits him in the head with his cane. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob with a dollar bill) I've got a crisp dollar bill for the next fella to take a bath in this house! (Mr Krabs comes in taking a bath, then takes the dollar. Bubble-wipe to SpongeBob tap dancing with his shoes, and punching his nose) Ya-da-da-da... (stops tap dancing) That didn't work either, huh? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob, dressed as a pirate) Gary! Gary! Look what I found! It's an old, pirate treasure map revealing a location of buried pirate treasure in this very house. Come on, boy, let's go get that treasure. Whoo! Okay, Gary, now 40 paces to the left. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten... (cross-fade to a bathroom door upstairs) 24, 25, 26, twenty seveeen... (notices bathroom door is close to him) 40. The treasure must be in here! (opens bathroom door) Wow, Gary, look! A pirate treasure chest.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Why no, Gary, this isn't the bathtub. (kicks the paint can) It's treasure. Look, dabloons. (shows 2 bars of soap) Don't drop 'em... Look at this broach! (shows a rubber duck)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I don't really know what a snail would want with a broach. Now why don't you just get into the tub? (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful) Get in the tub! (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) Get in the tub! (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) Get in the tub...! (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) In the tub. (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) In the tub. (tries to throw Gary in the tub but is unsuccessful again) Now, Gary, are you going to get in this tub or am I going to have to... (picks up Gary but the snail flies to the ceiling and sticks there. SpongeBob is holding onto Gary's eyestalks) Gary, could you... (one of Gary's eyestalks goes back in) Gary, no! (loses grip) Gary! (falls in the tub) Alright, Gary, you have duped and/or frustrated me for the last time. So, if I can't get you to come to the bath, I'll just have to bring the bath come to you. (absorbs all the water in the bathtub) Psst, Gary. Come on here. Bath delivery. Gary, get it. (spits water at Gary but misses) Come back, Gary. I have something to chair with you. (spits a lot of water at Gary but misses) Dishes more like it. (Gary flees out the door) Water you waiting for, Gary?
Gary: (in a tree) Meow. (repeats)
SpongeBob: Aww, stuck in a tree? (climbs up a ladder onto the tree) It's time to clean up your act, Gary. (spits out water at Gary but realizes it's a record playing Gary's meows) Oh, no! I bathed Gary too hard and removed his skin.
Gary: (takes the ladder off the tree) Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow.
SpongeBob: Gary! You bring that ladder back this instant. (the ladder falls) I am really not amused, mister. You are going to take a bath, and you are going to get clean right now.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I am so the boss of you.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: It may be a free country, but you live in my house under my rules.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Don't you use that tone of voice with me. You will do what I say when I say. (Gary slithers up to a mud puddle) What are you doing? I am talking to you, mister. (Gary stops) Do not go near that mud puddle! Gary, the snail, do you hear me? I am giving you to three seconds to get away from that mud puddle. One, (Gary slithers towards the mud puddle) two, (Gary slithers closer to the puddle) two and a half... (Gary leans slightly over the puddle) don't make me say three. (Gary leans more over the puddle) Gary, don't! Gary! Gary! Gary! (falls off the tree and into the mud puddle) I'm a dirty boy. (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob in the tub)
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: Yeah, yeah, Gary. I'm getting behind my ears. (Gary smiles)
