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Episode Transcript: Atlantis SquarePantis
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Episode Article: Atlantis SquarePantis
Characters
Dialogue
Patchy: Let's go! (Patchy honks)
Patchy: Hey, kids. Rush hour traffic here in Encino is really bad.
Patchy: A little music should calm my jangled nerve. Here's how my dash-in-stereo works. (Patchy breaks his radio)
Patchy: Oh! Me ultra-rare-back-on-track destroyed!
Patchy: And I'm gonna miss the new SpongeBob cartoon if this traffic doesn't move soon! (Patchy cries)
Patchy: (Patchy's cell phone rings) Who's calling?
Patchy: Yes, patchy, here, start talking.
Potty: Hey, patchy, the new spongebob cartoon is about to start.
Potty: Where are you, brawk?
Patchy: Stuck on the 101. Be a dear and record it for me, will you?
Potty: Oh, I threw out the machine in the garbage, brawk!
Patchy: You what?!?
Potty: Oh, calm down, beauty.
Patchy: Potty, you know how important this cartoon is to me!
Patchy: (Someone honks at patchy) Do you mind? I'm trying to talk to my parrot!
Patchy: Sorry, potty. Just some land lover.
Patchy: Potty? Potty? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Patchy: Guah. Dropped again. (Patchy closes his phone) Ahh!
Patchy: Curse this traffic! Oooooh! (Patchy grunts)
Patchy: Ahh, home at last. What the? (His eyes break the sunglasses)
Patchy: Encino, it's gone...Noooooooooooooooo! (Patchy cries)
Patchy: You know, kids, this reminds patchy of a story.
Patchy: Another lost city. Why don't you go check it out?
Patchy: Oh no, Encino.
SpongeBob and Patrick are blowing bubbles.
Patrick: A beautiful Specimen, SpongeBob
SpongeBob: Hurry Patrick, Hurry! (Patrick takes a photo of the bubble)
SpongeBob: Ready for the old scrapbook?
Patrick: More like the scrap-heap. They never come out right! Oh well, let's try again.
SpongeBob: Ok, ready Patrick, this ones gonna be my masterpiece.
Patrick: I'm ready. (SpongeBob blows a bubble in his image.)
SpongeBob Bubble: Hi, Patrick!
Patrick: (Misses a photo of the bubble) Oh I missed it again! Well, this darn camera isn't fast enough.
SpongeBob: Stop! Its not the poor cameras fault you cant get a photo
Patrick: It's not?
SpongeBob: No, it's the very nature of the fragile bubble.
Patrick: It IS?
Spongebob: Yes it is my friend, allow me to demonstrate.
Song
SpongeBob:The sun, must set: at the end of every day. The curtain, must fall: at the end of every play. And every little bubble ever blown must some-day, POP!
Patrick:Like presents, on Christmas day: it doesn't seem to stay
Patrick:Or a cheese souffle, it doesn't last all day
SpongeBob: I will try: again. To blow a bubble, that will last all day.
Patrick: All day
[SpongeBob begins to blow a giant bubble, it captures them both and floats away]
Patrick: Um, SpongeBob
SpongeBob: Not now, Patrick, this bubble's gonna break all records!
Patrick: I hope it doesn't break until we get a little closer to the ground
SpongeBob: What? [Gasps] What have I done!? (The two start screaming as the bubble drifts into a cave and is popped by a jagged point on a half of a broken amulet)
Patrick: What happened?
SpongeBob: (pointing to broken amulet) That's what happened
Patrick: Whoa, what is it? It looks really old.
SpongeBob; Antis, what do think that means, Patrick?
Patrick: Antis, Antis...Squarepantis! Probably belonged to your ancient ancestors. (Picks up the half of the amulet) SpongeBob Squarepantis, you must wear the ancient crest of your ancestors for it is your birth right! (shoves into SpongeBob's face)
SpongeBob: (Falling) My birth right! Ow ooh, Ow ooh ow! Let's take it to the bikini bottom museum, they'll know what it is!
Mr. Krabs: (Whistles) Oo...uh...beautiful day for standing outside a museum doin' nothin'.
Security Guard: Whatever you say.
Mr Krabs: (Mr Krabs pretends to be administration) Hello there. Welcome to the museum! That'll be three dollars
Old Lady: But I thought it was free Tuesday?
Mr Krabs: No no no. Today's Monday, otherwise I wouldn't be wearing this 'I hate Mondays' shirt.
Old Lady: Good point
Mr. Krabs: Enjoy the artifacts! (Mutters under breath:) Don't stand in one place too long, people might mistake you for one.
Mr. Krabs: (Hears SpongeBob laughing) SpongeBob! Hew, that was a close one. (Old lady points him out to a police officer then Mr. Krabs runs inside)
Squidward: Ah, Neptune's ascension. The only surviving painting from the great lost city of Atlantis. This is just what the doctor ordered, Squiddy. Spending your day studying the Atlantean masters. And best of all, no Sponge... (SpongeBob and Patrick run in excitedly, knocking Squidward over.)
Squidward: AAAAAHHHHH! Oh, would you to watch were you're (Gasps) What is that? What are you doing with the amulet of Atlantis? (Gasps) Were you going to steal it!?
SpongeBob: No Squidward, we'd never....[Cut off by Squidward
Squidward: This is a new low, even for YOU TWO. Lucky for you, I was here today. Stealing artifacts could land you in the stony loneso...ahh! ahh! ahh! ome! You boobs found the missing half to the Atlantean amulet!
SpongeBob: Uh, whats an Atlantean omelet?
Squidward: AMULET, NOT OMELET!!!! It's the key to untold riches!
[Mr Krabs shoves Spongebob and Patrcik over violently and faces Squidward] Mr Krabs: Did somebody say untold riches!?
Squidward: Yes Eugene. The streetes are lined with gold, and the street lamps are made with diamonds.
Mr Krabs: DIAMOND LIGHT BULBS!!! I wonder what they make the money out of.
Squidward: For reasons unknown, this great city dissappeared one day,but no ruins were ver found. All the inventions that you take for granted, were given to us by the Atlanteans. Their advances in art wealth and technology were eons ahead of their time!
SpongeBob: Why is this bubble painted on the muirel?
Squidward: That's just the oldest living bubble
SpongeBob: The oldest living bubble, alive! Behold Patrick-the oldest living bubble!
Patrick: This is the most beautiful bubble I've ever seen!
Squidward: That's just a painting you quarter-wit! Ha, quarter-wit, that's less than half. The real bubble lives in Atlantis, some darn old bubble hales in comparison to the art
Mr Krabs: Money
(Sandy very suddenly arrives out of nowhere) Sandy: And science, don't forget science. Whats all the hubba boys?
Squidward: These two chowder heads found the missing half to the amulet of Atlantis.
Sandy: THE AMULET OF ATLANTIS!!!! Legend says, that when the two halves are joined, the path to Atlantis is opened! Go on Squidward!
Mr Krabs: Hurry up Squidward, that money aint gettin' any younger [Squidward connects the two halves and a bright light activates]
Squidward: (Happily)
Sandy: (In Disbelief)
Patrick: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
SpongeBob: Hoo hoo yeah, hoo hoo hoo!
[A van drops from the ceiling]
Squidward: The magical path to Atlantis is a Van?
Mr Krabs: Nice hot rod flames!
Patrick: [Coin spins and attaches itself to the van] What's it doing?
Sandy: Well, holly-wally ding-dang-doo. Would ya' look at that!? Take a gander, y'all!
Squidward: Fabulous decor!
Mr Krabs: Quite a vessel, but who's manning it?
Robot: Greetings. Welcome aboard the seaship Atlantis. This is a nonstop trip, so please take a seat, relax, and we'll be on our way.
Squidward: Ah, what I wouldn't give for a foot-rub.
Robot: Attention passengers, regretfully we are lacking the fuel needed for forward motion.
Unison: What!?
Mr Krabs: Is this some kind of joke! Wheres the gas tank!
Robot: We Atlanteans find the use of fossil fuels counter-intuitive, and we have found an alternative source called song.
Squidward: What?
Robot: Song, the more you sing of you desires, the closer you will get to Atlantis. That is connectx-singing
Squidward: Does that make any sense?
SpongeBob: No, but I'm game for singing any day! Sing, sing a song, a song of wanting to move along. To a land where all our dre-e. OUCH! Sorry. To a land where all our dreeeeeams, can finally come true. Above all I long for soon enough I will seeeeeeeeeeeeeee............
Mr Krabs: Galactic spending boy! Atlantis makes money! More than you can spend. With fives and tens and twenties make me want to be your friend.
Plankton: He, he he. Such a valiant desire-hehehe. The lost weapons of Atlantis-the most advanced of all kind. Soon as this filthy song is done I plan to make them miiiiine!
Sandy: Did you all hear something! I got [Lyrics not available]************************** having smarts is more important-than being pretty! With all terrific science, and my painfully enlarged mind!
Sandy #2: [Clone] I bet we can figure out how to make wondrous things, like melons with animal rinds!
Squidward: As a connoisseur of fine art, Im proud to say! I've always seen things in my own special way! 'Art'-lantis and its glorious aesthetics, I'll cop their style in a while- my art will be prophetic!
Patrick: I'm Patrick, Patrick, Patrick-Patrick-Patrick! And I like um, uuuuh, I don't know what I like.
Robot: Warning, you have run out of song fuel.
Unison: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Squidward: Hey look, it's Atlantis.
SpongeBob: Pretty!
Unison: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Bus crashes)
Squidward: You dimwits haven't even been here two minutes and you've already messed up someone's topiary garden.
Mr. Krabs: Go on, SpongeBob. Ring the bell.
SpongeBob: Ring for the king, huh?
Lord Royal Highness: Welcome to Atlantis. I've been expecting you. (Falls down long staircase) Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Lord Royal Highness, but my friends call me LRH.
SpongeBob: My friends call me SpongeBob. I'm here to see the oldest bubble.
LRH: Yes, of course.
Mr. Krabs: What a ripoff! This street ain't gold!
LRH: Oh, if it's gold you want, you'll find it in our vault.
Mr. Krabs: I'm Eugene. I like money.
LRH: I can see that. Pleasure to meet you. Come, I'll give you the grand tour of our Atlantean fortress. I'm so glad you're all here.
Plankton: They're gone. Now to get to those weapons... Trapped! Ok, what do I have to work with here? What's this? Owners manual!? Looks like I found my escape route! (Laughs diabolically) Owe!
LRH: For centuries, we Atlanteans spent, nay, wasted our talents and energy building the most sophisticated weaponry to defend ourselves from invaders. But we abandoned the idea of warfare long ago and now all these weapons gather dust behind this locked door as an example of what must be done if one wishes to live in harmony with all creatures of this, or any, world.
Mr. Krabs: (sighs) Eh, harmony sharmony. When do we get to see the treasure?!
LRH: But of course, follow me.
Mr. Krabs: Comin' through, boys!
Plankton: These Atlanteans leave a room full of the most advanced weaponry unguarded? No wonder they got lost. (Squeezes under door) Oh, my! There will be no one to stop me this time! (Laughs diabolically)
Patchy: Well, bad news, kids. Encino's still lost.
Patchy: Oh! But, at least I got me radio fixed! (Patchy snaps his fingers while listening to it, then, it explodes)
Patchy: Well, enjoy the rest of the show.
(Large chunk of transcript missing here!)
Patchy: This is the end of patchy. No water, no food, and still no Encino.
Patchy: And here come the vultures the pick me bones! (Potty flies up)
Patchy: Shiver me timbers! It's potty! I wonder what parrot tastes like...
Patchy: Come back here!
Patchy: Uh-oh. Here come the hallucinations.
SpongeBob: (Spongebob laughs) Patchy, it's me. SpongeBob SquarePants. (Patchy is excited, and then he cries)
SpongeBob: Don't lose hope. Everything will be all right when you get into Encino.
Patchy: But, Encino is gone.
SpongeBob: It's not gone, if you believe.
Patchy: Believe, believe. (Falls asleep)
Patchy: (gasps) Welcome to Encino! It's back!
Patchy: (Hugs it) SpongeBob was right! All I had to do was believe. (laughs)
(Song)
You got to believe. It was out of sight. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. The sky above, and the ground below. Bring me back into Encino. It was lost, some time ago, I'm just glad to be back home. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. You got to believe. I'm back in Eencino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. Baby: Ohh! Ohh! You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to believe. Everything's all right. You got to believe. I'm back in Encino. You got to...
Patchy: (Potty brawks, and then, pokes Patchy) Ow! Ow!
Patchy: It was all a hallucination. Encino's still gone!
(Patchy cries)
Patchy: Oooooo, a sandwich. Potty, you're a lifesaver.
Patchy: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Patchy: Oh, potty, you know I don't like mayo!
Patchy: Here you want some? Go on. Take it.
Patchy: You know, I don't like the mayonnaise, you know.
Patchy: You know, when it gets above 130, 135, it gets kind of rody, you know.
Patchy: Well, pretty good story, huh, kids?
Patchy: I found Encino.
Patchy: But, it's all tiny. Somebody must've...
Patchy: Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhhhh!
Norbluckfive's father: Sorry, sir. But, our son norbluckfive was playing with his shrink-a-tron again.
Patchy: No, no, no, no! I want encino full size again!
Patchy: There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
Norbluckfive's mother: Ok, bring it in, norglonfive.
Norbluckfive's mother: We'll fix your town, beardy.
Patchy: Beardy?
Patchy: Arrr! Arrr! Arrrr! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh! Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh!
Patchy: Well, everything's back to the right size, eh, potty?
Patchy: Potty?
Potty: Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg!
Patchy: Um, I'm a little busy right now, but, you, can stop by for your old pal Patchy.
Patchy: And some more SpongeBob SquarePants. Bye. Potty, let go of me.
(Large chunk of transcript missing here!)
(SpongeBob laughs)Template:Slogan
