Episode Transcript: Patrick-Man!

This is a transcript of Patrick-Man!.

This Transcript is not complete. (Episode Starts at Spongebob's House. (Spongebob Hands Gary a Bowl of Food. Gary takes a bite of the food and Spongebob puts on his Krusty Krab Hat.

SpongeBob:(hums)

(Spongebob opens the door and sees Patrick, whimpering. Patrick cries and jumps into Spongebob's Couch.)

SpongeBob: What's the matter? You seem so sad.

Patrick:(angrily) Oh yeah, well uh, you know what's sad? This. (points to and touches SpongeBob's hat.)

SpongeBob:My hat is sad?

Patrick: Nooooo! You have a special hat. Which means you get to go to your special-happy-worky place. While I just stay... (turns around and whimpers some more) bored all day. I want a special-happy-worky place too! (cries).

SpongeBob:First thing's first, Patrick. Whadda you like to do?

Patrick:Uhhh... (drools) (zooms into Patrick's head and shows an oval image of an tidal wave with a large breeze passing by.) Sad.

SpongeBob: Oof! (Spongebob turns around and slaps his head) Ooh, I gotta run. I have patties to flip, (runs to the door) but I sure hope you figure your problem out. Thiiink about it. (closes the door)

Patrick: Thiiink about it. Think, Patrick thiiiiink. Hmmmmm... hmmpphh! (Patrick's head swells up like a balloon and pops.) Thinking is Paiiinful. (swings his deflated head over to look like a ponytail.) Break time. (Walks over to Spongebob's chair, picks up his remote and turns on the TV. TV shows commercial of Nicholas Withers on a small boat with three other fish in the background laying down and relaxing.)

Nicholas Withers: Are you irritable? Listless? Jobless? Have you ever asked yourself: "I'm a loser. What am I doing with my life?" Well look no further. I have an answer that has helped millions- (Patrick changes channel. TV shows commercial of dolphins swimming and frolicking.)

Announcer: Be all you can possibly be. (dolphin noise) Join the Marine Dolphins. (dolphin noise followed by Patrick changing the channel. TV then shows Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cornered by Manray with a raygun in his hand.

Manray: Muhahahahahahahahaahahahahaha! (Display case falls on Manray) Huh? (action card shows: Clang!) The inescapable display case! (Bangs on case with fists) Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Barnacleboy: (shakes Mermaidman's hand) All in a day's work ehh, Mermaidman? (both superheroes face the screen.)

Mermaidman: Remember: It's up to you (points up with hand) to reveal the true face of crime. Sign up to be part of the Mermaidman and Barnacleboy Junior Crime Fighters. (Patrick turns off TV.)

Manray: Went What of on It's turns.

Patrick: (gets out of chair.) I gotta figure out what to do in my life. (Patrick steps on Mermaidman plush toy that says: "fight evilllllllll!" Patrick then picks up the toy) Awww I wish I was a superhero. (Patrick's eyes burst in then back out) I know what I want to do with my life! (To the changing room! rushes to the changing room followed by a real seastar spinning towards then away from the screen.) (scene cuts to Patrick pulling out his underwear and putting it on over his pants. Patrick then struggles to put a belt buckle with a star on it on because of his fat body. He then succeeds and clips the buckle in place.) Ahhhhh. (His body then bursts Inbetween his belt and his underwear. He then grabs a giant ice cream cone from Spongebob's fridge, suddenly with two blue gloves on his hands, and eats the ice cream and a portion of the cone. With ice cream on his mouth, he then slips this cone on his head and bulges his eyes through it. He grabs a jar of seanut butter and writes a backwards p on his chest with his tongue.) At last I have found my calling. I am Patrick-Man: defender of Bikini Bottom! (Runs out the front door then trips on a rock. He gets up and continues running.) Mr.Krabs: Mr.Squidward, what's with all the dilly-dally? We got costumer's money to take! Squidward: Where?(Krusty Krab is empty) M