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Episode Transcript: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V
Alchemist01 (Talk | contribs) (→Dialogue) |
Alchemist01 (Talk | contribs) (→Dialogue) |
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'''Narrator''': The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration.<br> | '''Narrator''': The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration.<br> | ||
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'''All''': Will you hurry up?<br> | '''All''': Will you hurry up?<br> | ||
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'''Narrator''': A call that would normally be answered by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions. (If) they weren't the ones causing the problem.<br> | '''Narrator''': A call that would normally be answered by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions. (If) they weren't the ones causing the problem.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Let's see...I wanna, no. I wanna, uh, no, uh, hmmm...<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Let's see...I wanna, no. I wanna, uh, no, uh, hmmm...<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': Sir, will you please order already? You're holding up the line!<br> | '''Squidward''': Sir, will you please order already? You're holding up the line!<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': (whispering in Mermaid Man's ear) Psst. Hey, Mermaid Man, get a Krabby Patty.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': (whispering in Mermaid Man's ear) Psst. Hey, Mermaid Man, get a Krabby Patty.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': I've made my decision.<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': I've made my decision.<br> | ||
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'''Line of Customers''': Hooray!<br> | '''Line of Customers''': Hooray!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': 1 Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': 1 Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Boy''': Now, wait just a darn minute.<br> | '''Barnacle Boy''': Now, wait just a darn minute.<br> | ||
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'''Line of Customers''': Awww!<br> | '''Line of Customers''': Awww!<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Boy''': I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty. I want an adult size Krabby Patty.<br> | '''Barnacle Boy''': I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty. I want an adult size Krabby Patty.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it.<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it.<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Boy''': Don't you see what you're doing. You're treating me like a child.<br> | '''Barnacle Boy''': Don't you see what you're doing. You're treating me like a child.<br> | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': The boys eyes are bigger than his stomach. (laughs)<br> | '''Mr. Krabs''': The boys eyes are bigger than his stomach. (laughs)<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Boy''': And that's another thing. I'm not a boy. I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles in my liver spots. (shows a hair popping out)<br> | '''Barnacle Boy''': And that's another thing. I'm not a boy. I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles in my liver spots. (shows a hair popping out)<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': One Pipsqueak patty and your bib and high chair.<br> | '''Squidward''': One Pipsqueak patty and your bib and high chair.<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Boy''': I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!<br> | '''Barnacle Boy''': I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you?<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you?<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Boy''': Feed this, old man! (slaps the Krabby Patty out of Mermaid Man's hand) I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through protecting citizens that don't respect me!<br> | '''Barnacle Boy''': Feed this, old man! (slaps the Krabby Patty out of Mermaid Man's hand) I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through protecting citizens that don't respect me!<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': I respect you, Barnacle Man!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I respect you, Barnacle Man!<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, man! Ohh...I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil.<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, man! Ohh...I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil.<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Evil??<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Evil??<br> | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy''': Evil?? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM)<br> | '''Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy''': Evil?? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM)<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': EVIL!!!<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': EVIL!!!<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': I'm crossing over...to the dark side! (points to dark side of Krusty Krab)<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': I'm crossing over...to the dark side! (points to dark side of Krusty Krab)<br> | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Why should I waste money lighting the whole store? (villain car comes in)<br> | '''Mr. Krabs''': Why should I waste money lighting the whole store? (villain car comes in)<br> | ||
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'''Dirty Bubble''': Did someone say evil?<br> | '''Dirty Bubble''': Did someone say evil?<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: ManRay and The Dirty Bubble! (BB gets in villain car)<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: ManRay and The Dirty Bubble! (BB gets in villain car)<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': Nighty night, you old goat!<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': Nighty night, you old goat!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Nighty-night! (to Squidward) Will you tuck me in?<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Nighty-night! (to Squidward) Will you tuck me in?<br> | ||
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'''Realistic Fish Head''': We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this news report. ManRay, The Dirty Bubble, and now, playing for the dark side, Barnacle Boy...<br> | '''Realistic Fish Head''': We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this news report. ManRay, The Dirty Bubble, and now, playing for the dark side, Barnacle Boy...<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': Barnacle Man!<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': Barnacle Man!<br> | ||
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'''Realistic Fish Head''': ...have been committing a series of crimes in Bikini Bottom. (shows ManRay, The Dirty Bubble, and Barnacle Man ding-dong-ditching)<br> | '''Realistic Fish Head''': ...have been committing a series of crimes in Bikini Bottom. (shows ManRay, The Dirty Bubble, and Barnacle Man ding-dong-ditching)<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': Shh!<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': Shh!<br> | ||
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'''Citizen''': (opens door) I'll get you crazy kids.<br> | '''Citizen''': (opens door) I'll get you crazy kids.<br> | ||
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'''Realistic Fish Head''': These three have named their new alliance: Every Villain Is Lemons, also known as E.V.I.L.! What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking (you) all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM again)<br> | '''Realistic Fish Head''': These three have named their new alliance: Every Villain Is Lemons, also known as E.V.I.L.! What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking (you) all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM again)<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Huh? I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! Nothing! (ice cream truck sounds) Ice cream? I love ice cream! Two scoops of prune with bran sprinkles. Mmm. (MM takes a bite but explodes then E.V.I.L. is shown as ice cream men)<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Huh? I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! Nothing! (ice cream truck sounds) Ice cream? I love ice cream! Two scoops of prune with bran sprinkles. Mmm. (MM takes a bite but explodes then E.V.I.L. is shown as ice cream men)<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': You might as well give up, Mermaid Man, because there are three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance.<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': You might as well give up, Mermaid Man, because there are three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance.<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Are you okay, Mermaid Man? Oh, how are you going to beat those three guys all by yourself?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Are you okay, Mermaid Man? Oh, how are you going to beat those three guys all by yourself?<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': You're right. I give up.<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': You're right. I give up.<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': You can't give up. What if we help you?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': You can't give up. What if we help you?<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': No, no, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': No, no, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Okay!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Okay!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Who wants to save the world?<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Who wants to save the world?<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': I do!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': I do!<br> | ||
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'''Sandy''': I do!<br> | '''Sandy''': I do!<br> | ||
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'''Patrick''': I do!<br> | '''Patrick''': I do!<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': I don't.<br> | '''Squidward''': I don't.<br> | ||
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, yes, you do. No world means no money! Now go save the world or you're fired!<br> | '''Mr. Krabs''': Oh, yes, you do. No world means no money! Now go save the world or you're fired!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Then it's settled! To the Mermalair!<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Then it's settled! To the Mermalair!<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Wow! The Mermalair!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Wow! The Mermalair!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever! And you had the best lunch box, too.<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever! And you had the best lunch box, too.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours.<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours.<br> | ||
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'''Sandy''': Wow! I didn't think super powers worked that way.<br> | '''Sandy''': Wow! I didn't think super powers worked that way.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Sure! Power's all in the costume! Why else would we run around in colored undies?<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Sure! Power's all in the costume! Why else would we run around in colored undies?<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': I can think of three good reasons.<br> | '''Squidward''': I can think of three good reasons.<br> | ||
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'''Narrator''': The Quickster...with the ability to run really...quick!<br> | '''Narrator''': The Quickster...with the ability to run really...quick!<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Want to see me run to that mountain and back? (doesn’t move) Want to see me do it again?<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Want to see me run to that mountain and back? (doesn’t move) Want to see me do it again?<br> | ||
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'''Narrator''': Captain Magma...get him angry and he's bound to erupt!<br> | '''Narrator''': Captain Magma...get him angry and he's bound to erupt!<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': Krakatoa! (lava shoots out)<br> | '''Squidward''': Krakatoa! (lava shoots out)<br> | ||
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'''Narrator''': The Elastic Waistband...able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms!<br> | '''Narrator''': The Elastic Waistband...able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms!<br> | ||
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'''Patrick''': I can finally touch my toes! (stretches his toes over the back of his body and to his hands)<br> | '''Patrick''': I can finally touch my toes! (stretches his toes over the back of his body and to his hands)<br> | ||
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'''Narrator''': And Miss Appear...now you see her...(disappears)...now you don't.<br> | '''Narrator''': And Miss Appear...now you see her...(disappears)...now you don't.<br> | ||
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'''Sandy''': Does this outfit make me look fat?<br> | '''Sandy''': Does this outfit make me look fat?<br> | ||
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'''Narrator''': The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom.<br> | '''Narrator''': The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': So, it's settled then. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives.<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': So, it's settled then. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives.<br> | ||
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'''Chief''': Super Acquaintances, we need your help.<br> | '''Chief''': Super Acquaintances, we need your help.<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Holy halibut! it's the chief!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Holy halibut! it's the chief!<br> | ||
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'''Chief''': Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am! More importantly, we've found information on the whereabouts of E.V.I.L.<br> | '''Chief''': Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am! More importantly, we've found information on the whereabouts of E.V.I.L.<br> | ||
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'''Patrick''': The whoseabouts of what?<br> | '''Patrick''': The whoseabouts of what?<br> | ||
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'''Sandy''': You just tell us where they are, Chief, and we'll hog-tie 'em faster than you can say "Salsa Verde".<br> | '''Sandy''': You just tell us where they are, Chief, and we'll hog-tie 'em faster than you can say "Salsa Verde".<br> | ||
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'''Chief''': Our sources last found E.V.I.L. harassing teenagers up at "Make Out Reef". You know, Make-Out Reef? (makes out with himself) Whoo hoo hoo!<br> | '''Chief''': Our sources last found E.V.I.L. harassing teenagers up at "Make Out Reef". You know, Make-Out Reef? (makes out with himself) Whoo hoo hoo!<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Flopping flounder, Mermaid Man, Make-Out Reef!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Flopping flounder, Mermaid Man, Make-Out Reef!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Those fiends! Attacking hormonally stressed-out children!<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Those fiends! Attacking hormonally stressed-out children!<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': Ah, Make-Out Reef. Good times, good times.<br> | '''Squidward''': Ah, Make-Out Reef. Good times, good times.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': To Make-Out Reef, away!<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': To Make-Out Reef, away!<br> | ||
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'''Patrick''': Does this mean we're not getting pizza?<br> | '''Patrick''': Does this mean we're not getting pizza?<br> | ||
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'''John & Nancy''': Stop, please!<br> | '''John & Nancy''': Stop, please!<br> | ||
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'''E.V.I.L.''': John and Nancy, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!<br> | '''E.V.I.L.''': John and Nancy, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!<br> | ||
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'''Dirty Bubble''': Oh! Shine the flashlight in that car, ManRay!<br> | '''Dirty Bubble''': Oh! Shine the flashlight in that car, ManRay!<br> | ||
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'''ManRay''': Haha, with pleasure! (shines on a guy making out with a pillow)<br> | '''ManRay''': Haha, with pleasure! (shines on a guy making out with a pillow)<br> | ||
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'''Fish'''': Hey man, that's not cool.<br> | '''Fish'''': Hey man, that's not cool.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': You leave those young lovers alone!<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': You leave those young lovers alone!<br> | ||
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'''ManRay''': Well if it isn't Milk Maid Man! You've saved us the trouble of tracking you down!<br> | '''ManRay''': Well if it isn't Milk Maid Man! You've saved us the trouble of tracking you down!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': You fiends can't win! You're outnumbered!<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': You fiends can't win! You're outnumbered!<br> | ||
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'''ManRay''': You senile bag of fish paste! There are three of us and only one of you!<br> | '''ManRay''': You senile bag of fish paste! There are three of us and only one of you!<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Make that two!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Make that two!<br> | ||
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'''ManRay''': The Quickster!<br> | '''ManRay''': The Quickster!<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': Three!<br> | '''Squidward''': Three!<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': Captain Magma!<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': Captain Magma!<br> | ||
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'''Patrick''': Four!<br> | '''Patrick''': Four!<br> | ||
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'''Dirty Bubble''': The Elastic Waistband!<br> | '''Dirty Bubble''': The Elastic Waistband!<br> | ||
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'''Sandy''': Five!<br> | '''Sandy''': Five!<br> | ||
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'''E.V.I.L.''': M-M-Miss Appear!<br> | '''E.V.I.L.''': M-M-Miss Appear!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': And me makes ten, I think.<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': And me makes ten, I think.<br> | ||
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'''ManRay''': Uh-oh, I don't have a good feeling about this.<br> | '''ManRay''': Uh-oh, I don't have a good feeling about this.<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': Oh, there goes our toy deal.<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': Oh, there goes our toy deal.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Super Acquaintances, attack!<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Super Acquaintances, attack!<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': Oh no, please, mercy!<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': Oh no, please, mercy!<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': Krakatoa! (lava shoots out onto The Quickster)<br> | '''Squidward''': Krakatoa! (lava shoots out onto The Quickster)<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it off!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it off!<br> | ||
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'''Patrick''': I'll save you, Quickster, ahh! (stretches his arms to try and save Quickster but ends up getting stuck)<br> | '''Patrick''': I'll save you, Quickster, ahh! (stretches his arms to try and save Quickster but ends up getting stuck)<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls! (concentrates but throws waterball at Captain Magma)<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls! (concentrates but throws waterball at Captain Magma)<br> | ||
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'''Squidward''': No, no, I'm Captain Magma! (gets hit)<br> | '''Squidward''': No, no, I'm Captain Magma! (gets hit)<br> | ||
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'''Sandy''': Well, I guess it's up to me! I'll sneak over...unseen...and catch them by surprise. (a car hits Sandy sending her off the cliff)<br> | '''Sandy''': Well, I guess it's up to me! I'll sneak over...unseen...and catch them by surprise. (a car hits Sandy sending her off the cliff)<br> | ||
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'''SpongeBob''': Get it off! Get it off! (eventually stops but only shown as shoes) Whew...I'm glad that's over!<br> | '''SpongeBob''': Get it off! Get it off! (eventually stops but only shown as shoes) Whew...I'm glad that's over!<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': We did it, we won! This day belongs to E.V.I.L.! You've lost Mermaid Man, and the superhero/super-villain rules say you have to give in to my demands.<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': We did it, we won! This day belongs to E.V.I.L.! You've lost Mermaid Man, and the superhero/super-villain rules say you have to give in to my demands.<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Okay, what do you want?<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Okay, what do you want?<br> | ||
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'''ManRay''': World domination! Tell him we want world domination!<br> | '''ManRay''': World domination! Tell him we want world domination!<br> | ||
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'''Dirty Bubble''': And make him eat dirt! Hahaha! In addition to the...domination thing.<br> | '''Dirty Bubble''': And make him eat dirt! Hahaha! In addition to the...domination thing.<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': First, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Second, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three...<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': First, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Second, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three...<br> | ||
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'''ManRay''': Come on, world domination!<br> | '''ManRay''': Come on, world domination!<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty.<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty.<br> | ||
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'''Dirty Bubble''': Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt?<br> | '''Dirty Bubble''': Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt?<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': Need a hand, superpal? (both start to get tears in their eyes)<br> | '''Barnacle Man''': Need a hand, superpal? (both start to get tears in their eyes)<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle. Let's go get you that Krabby Patty!<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle. Let's go get you that Krabby Patty!<br> | ||
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'''ManRay''': Was that it? Oh, that's sickening.<br> | '''ManRay''': Was that it? Oh, that's sickening.<br> | ||
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'''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Cancun with the killer shrimp. Oh, they had these papaya drinks...<br> | '''Dirty Bubble''': Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Cancun with the killer shrimp. Oh, they had these papaya drinks...<br> | ||
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'''ManRay''': Oh, Neptune, shut up!<br> | '''ManRay''': Oh, Neptune, shut up!<br> | ||
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'''Mermaid Man''': How is that adult-sized Krabby Patty treating you, Barnacle Man?<br> | '''Mermaid Man''': How is that adult-sized Krabby Patty treating you, Barnacle Man?<br> | ||
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'''Barnacle Man''': Actually, it's pretty big. I'm not sure if I can finish the whole thing. (everyone laughs) | '''Barnacle Man''': Actually, it's pretty big. I'm not sure if I can finish the whole thing. (everyone laughs) | ||
Revision as of 02:04, 6 July 2009
| Back Episode Transcript | Next Episode Transcript |
|---|---|
| Chocolate With Nuts | New Student Starfish |
Episode Article: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V
Characters
Dialogue
Narrator: The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. In a familiar restaurant, in a familiar part of town, a call goes out in frustration.
All: Will you hurry up?
Narrator: A call that would normally be answered by Bikini Bottom's semi-retired champions. (If) they weren't the ones causing the problem.
Mermaid Man: Let's see...I wanna, no. I wanna, uh, no, uh, hmmm...
Squidward: Sir, will you please order already? You're holding up the line!
SpongeBob: (whispering in Mermaid Man's ear) Psst. Hey, Mermaid Man, get a Krabby Patty.
Mermaid Man: I've made my decision.
Line of Customers: Hooray!
Mermaid Man: 1 Krabby Patty for me and a Pipsqueak Patty for the boy.
Barnacle Boy: Now, wait just a darn minute.
Line of Customers: Awww!
Barnacle Boy: I don't want a Pipsqueak Patty. I want an adult size Krabby Patty.
Mermaid Man: The Krabby Patty is too big for you. You'll never finish it.
Barnacle Boy: Don't you see what you're doing. You're treating me like a child.
Mr. Krabs: The boys eyes are bigger than his stomach. (laughs)
Barnacle Boy: And that's another thing. I'm not a boy. I'm so old I got hairs growing out of the wrinkles in my liver spots. (shows a hair popping out)
Squidward: One Pipsqueak patty and your bib and high chair.
Barnacle Boy: I'm 68 years old and I want a Krabby Patty!
Mermaid Man: Your Pipsqueak is getting cold. Shall I feed you?
Barnacle Boy: Feed this, old man! (slaps the Krabby Patty out of Mermaid Man's hand) I'm tired of playing second banana to a man who wears a bra! From now on, I want to be called Barnacle Man! And, I'm through protecting citizens that don't respect me!
SpongeBob: I respect you, Barnacle Man!
Barnacle Man: That's Barnacle Boy, I mean, man! Ohh...I say if you're not going to give me the respect I want as a hero, then maybe you'll give me respect as a villain. A villain who is...evil.
SpongeBob: Evil??
Mr. Krabs, Squidward, Patrick, & Sandy: Evil?? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM)
Mermaid Man: EVIL!!!
Barnacle Man: I'm crossing over...to the dark side! (points to dark side of Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: Why should I waste money lighting the whole store? (villain car comes in)
Dirty Bubble: Did someone say evil?
SpongeBob: Holy oil spill! It's Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's arch enemies: ManRay and The Dirty Bubble! (BB gets in villain car)
Barnacle Man: Nighty night, you old goat!
Mermaid Man: Nighty-night! (to Squidward) Will you tuck me in?
Realistic Fish Head: We interrupt your bleak and meaningless lives for this news report. ManRay, The Dirty Bubble, and now, playing for the dark side, Barnacle Boy...
Barnacle Man: Barnacle Man!
Realistic Fish Head: ...have been committing a series of crimes in Bikini Bottom. (shows ManRay, The Dirty Bubble, and Barnacle Man ding-dong-ditching)
Barnacle Man: Shh!
Citizen: (opens door) I'll get you crazy kids.
Realistic Fish Head: These three have named their new alliance: Every Villain Is Lemons, also known as E.V.I.L.! What can we do? When will this crime wave end? How will we defeat the evil? Why am I asking (you) all these questions? Mermaid Man, where are you? (Mr. Krabs slaps MM again)
Mermaid Man: Huh? I'm right here! Don't worry, good citizens! Nothing will stop me from defeating the E.V.I.L.! Nothing! (ice cream truck sounds) Ice cream? I love ice cream! Two scoops of prune with bran sprinkles. Mmm. (MM takes a bite but explodes then E.V.I.L. is shown as ice cream men)
Barnacle Man: You might as well give up, Mermaid Man, because there are three of us and only one of you. You don't stand a chance.
SpongeBob: Are you okay, Mermaid Man? Oh, how are you going to beat those three guys all by yourself?
Mermaid Man: You're right. I give up.
SpongeBob: You can't give up. What if we help you?
Mermaid Man: No, no, that's a terrible idea. But what if you help me?
SpongeBob: Okay!
Mermaid Man: Who wants to save the world?
SpongeBob: I do!
Sandy: I do!
Patrick: I do!
Squidward: I don't.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yes, you do. No world means no money! Now go save the world or you're fired!
Mermaid Man: Then it's settled! To the Mermalair!
SpongeBob: Wow! The Mermalair!
Mermaid Man: These costumes belonged to the original International Justice League of Super Acquaintances!
SpongeBob: Wow! The I.J.L.S.A. were the most heroic heroes ever! And you had the best lunch box, too.
Mermaid Man: Once you put on these costumes, their fantastic powers will become yours.
Sandy: Wow! I didn't think super powers worked that way.
Mermaid Man: Sure! Power's all in the costume! Why else would we run around in colored undies?
Squidward: I can think of three good reasons.
Narrator: The Quickster...with the ability to run really...quick!
SpongeBob: Want to see me run to that mountain and back? (doesn’t move) Want to see me do it again?
Narrator: Captain Magma...get him angry and he's bound to erupt!
Squidward: Krakatoa! (lava shoots out)
Narrator: The Elastic Waistband...able to stretch his body into fantastic shapes and forms!
Patrick: I can finally touch my toes! (stretches his toes over the back of his body and to his hands)
Narrator: And Miss Appear...now you see her...(disappears)...now you don't.
Sandy: Does this outfit make me look fat?
Narrator: The International Justice League of Super Acquaintances! A subsidiary of Viacom.
Mermaid Man: So, it's settled then. We'll get one cheese pizza, one with pepperoni and mushrooms, and one with olives.
Chief: Super Acquaintances, we need your help.
SpongeBob: Holy halibut! it's the chief!
Chief: Thank you for the introduction, Quickster, but we all know who I am! More importantly, we've found information on the whereabouts of E.V.I.L.
Patrick: The whoseabouts of what?
Sandy: You just tell us where they are, Chief, and we'll hog-tie 'em faster than you can say "Salsa Verde".
Chief: Our sources last found E.V.I.L. harassing teenagers up at "Make Out Reef". You know, Make-Out Reef? (makes out with himself) Whoo hoo hoo!
SpongeBob: Flopping flounder, Mermaid Man, Make-Out Reef!
Mermaid Man: Those fiends! Attacking hormonally stressed-out children!
Squidward: Ah, Make-Out Reef. Good times, good times.
Mermaid Man: To Make-Out Reef, away!
Patrick: Does this mean we're not getting pizza?
John & Nancy: Stop, please!
E.V.I.L.: John and Nancy, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
Dirty Bubble: Oh! Shine the flashlight in that car, ManRay!
ManRay: Haha, with pleasure! (shines on a guy making out with a pillow)
Fish': Hey man, that's not cool.
Mermaid Man: You leave those young lovers alone!
ManRay: Well if it isn't Milk Maid Man! You've saved us the trouble of tracking you down!
Mermaid Man: You fiends can't win! You're outnumbered!
ManRay: You senile bag of fish paste! There are three of us and only one of you!
SpongeBob: Make that two!
ManRay: The Quickster!
Squidward: Three!
Barnacle Man: Captain Magma!
Patrick: Four!
Dirty Bubble: The Elastic Waistband!
Sandy: Five!
E.V.I.L.: M-M-Miss Appear!
Mermaid Man: And me makes ten, I think.
ManRay: Uh-oh, I don't have a good feeling about this.
Barnacle Man: Oh, there goes our toy deal.
Mermaid Man: Super Acquaintances, attack!
Barnacle Man: Oh no, please, mercy!
Squidward: Krakatoa! (lava shoots out onto The Quickster)
SpongeBob: Ah! Ah! Ah! Get it off!
Patrick: I'll save you, Quickster, ahh! (stretches his arms to try and save Quickster but ends up getting stuck)
Mermaid Man: I'll cool you off, Quickster, with one of my water balls! (concentrates but throws waterball at Captain Magma)
Squidward: No, no, I'm Captain Magma! (gets hit)
Sandy: Well, I guess it's up to me! I'll sneak over...unseen...and catch them by surprise. (a car hits Sandy sending her off the cliff)
SpongeBob: Get it off! Get it off! (eventually stops but only shown as shoes) Whew...I'm glad that's over!
Barnacle Man: We did it, we won! This day belongs to E.V.I.L.! You've lost Mermaid Man, and the superhero/super-villain rules say you have to give in to my demands.
Mermaid Man: Okay, what do you want?
ManRay: World domination! Tell him we want world domination!
Dirty Bubble: And make him eat dirt! Hahaha! In addition to the...domination thing.
Barnacle Man: First, I want to be treated like a superhero, not a sidekick. Second, I want to be called Barnacle Man. And number three...
ManRay: Come on, world domination!
Barnacle Man: I want an adult-sized Krabby Patty.
Dirty Bubble: Did you hear him say anything about eating dirt?
Barnacle Man: Need a hand, superpal? (both start to get tears in their eyes)
Mermaid Man: Good to have you back on the side of justice, Kyle. Let's go get you that Krabby Patty!
ManRay: Was that it? Oh, that's sickening.
Dirty Bubble: Oh, this reminds me of the time I went to Cancun with the killer shrimp. Oh, they had these papaya drinks...
ManRay: Oh, Neptune, shut up!
Mermaid Man: How is that adult-sized Krabby Patty treating you, Barnacle Man?
Barnacle Man: Actually, it's pretty big. I'm not sure if I can finish the whole thing. (everyone laughs)
