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Episode Transcript: I'm With Stupid
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| Line 23: | Line 23: | ||
(SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick's houses are seen. Patrick's house is shaking. SpongeBob knocks on it. Every time he does, it closes. He opens it himself. Patrick is cleaning. He featherdusts SpongeBob) | (SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick's houses are seen. Patrick's house is shaking. SpongeBob knocks on it. Every time he does, it closes. He opens it himself. Patrick is cleaning. He featherdusts SpongeBob) | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Need...furniture! (makes a lamp post model)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, what's with the home improvement? (Patrick barks and continues to clean) Hey, Patrick! (Patrick continues to clean) Well Patrick, I came over to see if you wanted to go jellyfishing. But I can see you're busy having an episode.<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, what's with the home improvement? (Patrick barks and continues to clean) Hey, Patrick! (Patrick continues to clean) Well Patrick, I came over to see if you wanted to go jellyfishing. But I can see you're busy having an episode.<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': (stops cleaning. His face turns mad) You know something, SpongeBob? It's just all fun and games for you. Nothing really matters. (imitates SpongeBob) Well, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do! Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews! And nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe... or fabricate!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' But, Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate!<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' But, Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': (starts crying) I don't know what to do, SpongeBob! You've got to help me!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Patrick! You forgot how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel.<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) Patrick! You forgot how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel.<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': No, it's not that, SpongeBob. It's worse.<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Darn, I liked the funnel. Then what is it?<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Darn, I liked the funnel. Then what is it?<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Look! (takes out a rolled-up piece of paper from his belly button)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, a note! (a sixteenth note is shown)<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Hey, a note! (a sixteenth note is shown)<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Yeah, but turn it over! There's a letter! (the letter B is shown)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' You're right!<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' You're right!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': And, I got this message from my parents!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Your parents? (reads the note out loud) Dear Patrick, your mom and I are coming out tomorrow for Starfish Day. Please try to remember, but don't try too hard, or you'll hurt yourself like last time. Love, Daddy.<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Your parents? (reads the note out loud) Dear Patrick, your mom and I are coming out tomorrow for Starfish Day. Please try to remember, but don't try too hard, or you'll hurt yourself like last time. Love, Daddy.<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': SpongeBob, my parents think I'm dumber than a sack of diapers.<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' No, they don't, Patrick. Parents just like to push your buttons. Like this! (pushes Patrick's belly button and his eyes elongate) Beep!<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' No, they don't, Patrick. Parents just like to push your buttons. Like this! (pushes Patrick's belly button and his eyes elongate) Beep!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': (laughing) That always cheers me up. But not today.<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, if your parents think you're dumb, then they must not know what dumb really is.<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, if your parents think you're dumb, then they must not know what dumb really is.<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': But don't they watch television?<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' That's what I'm saying, Pat! If they got to meet a real dummy, they'd realize what a genius you really are!<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' That's what I'm saying, Pat! If they got to meet a real dummy, they'd realize what a genius you really are!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': But don't genies live in a lamp? And besides, we don't know any dumb people.<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Don't worry, Patrick! I'll be the dummy! When your parents see how dumb I act, they'll think you're the smartest guy ever!<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Don't worry, Patrick! I'll be the dummy! When your parents see how dumb I act, they'll think you're the smartest guy ever!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Math is power! | |
(cut to the next day. Patrick is in front of his mirror) | (cut to the next day. Patrick is in front of his mirror) | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': A B C D E F G...(doorbell rings) Oh! H I J K L M N O...!<br> | |
'''Janet:''' Should I get the bullhorn again, Marty?<br> | '''Janet:''' Should I get the bullhorn again, Marty?<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Did you notice it? (Marty is so bored from banging that he still knocks on Patrick's head) Hi mom. Hi dad.<br> | |
'''Marty:''' Son! You recognized us this time!<br> | '''Marty:''' Son! You recognized us this time!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Why wouldn't I recognize my own parents?<br> | |
'''Marty:''' You never were a bright one. (Patrick wonders. Marty laughs) Aren't you gonna show us inside?<br> | '''Marty:''' You never were a bright one. (Patrick wonders. Marty laughs) Aren't you gonna show us inside?<br> | ||
| Line 85: | Line 85: | ||
'''Janet:''' He probably forgot where it is!<br> | '''Janet:''' He probably forgot where it is!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Well I know where it...<br> | |
'''Marty:''' Oh. Let me lead the way so we don't get lost. (Patrick, Marty and Janet hold hands) Ok, son, hold hands now! (inside the house) Ok, we're almost there! Let go on three. One...two...three!<br> | '''Marty:''' Oh. Let me lead the way so we don't get lost. (Patrick, Marty and Janet hold hands) Ok, son, hold hands now! (inside the house) Ok, we're almost there! Let go on three. One...two...three!<br> | ||
| Line 93: | Line 93: | ||
'''Marty and Janet:''' Pats for Patrick! (both laugh)<br> | '''Marty and Janet:''' Pats for Patrick! (both laugh)<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': I'll go get the beverages. (Patrick holds a tray full of drinks)<br> | |
'''Marty:''' Wow, son! You put the drinks in something this time! Ah, son, you must have been working all night to put these together for us!<br> | '''Marty:''' Wow, son! You put the drinks in something this time! Ah, son, you must have been working all night to put these together for us!<br> | ||
| Line 99: | Line 99: | ||
'''Janet and Marty:''' We love you! (both kiss Patrick)<br> | '''Janet and Marty:''' We love you! (both kiss Patrick)<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': (doorbell rings) Hooray, the idiot is here! I mean, I'll get it!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Protective helmet, check.<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Protective helmet, check.<br> | ||
| Line 111: | Line 111: | ||
'''SpongeBob:''' What could go wrong? (Patrick's rock opens)<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' What could go wrong? (Patrick's rock opens)<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': What a surprise!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi.<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Hi.<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Mom, Dad, meet my neighbor, SpongeBob!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi.<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Hi.<br> | ||
| Line 129: | Line 129: | ||
'''Doll:''' Mama! Mama! | '''Doll:''' Mama! Mama! | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': He means "shake". (SpongeBob shakes his entire body) No, SpongeBob, no! Shake hands! (SpongeBob shakes both his hands) No, SpongeBob! Grab my dad's hand. (puts both his hands and his left leg on Marty's hand) Grab it with only one hand! (puts his left leg and hand down) Good boy! Now move your arm up and down! (he moves his shoulder up and down. Patrick giggles)<br> | |
'''Janet:''' So, SpongeBob. Do you live nearby? | '''Janet:''' So, SpongeBob. Do you live nearby? | ||
| Line 135: | Line 135: | ||
'''SpongeBob:''' Hi. | '''SpongeBob:''' Hi. | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': No, SpongeBob. Show them your house! (reveals a blouse) No, not your blouse! Your house! (SpongeBob runs over to his house)<br> | |
'''Janet:''' He lives in a fruit?<br> | '''Janet:''' He lives in a fruit?<br> | ||
| Line 141: | Line 141: | ||
'''Marty:''' That's unhealthy.<br> | '''Marty:''' That's unhealthy.<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': (giggles) Hey, SpongeBob! Do you want to stay for dinner? (SpongeBob does some weird things) | |
(Later, Patrick, Marty and Janet are watching television while eating TV dinners) | (Later, Patrick, Marty and Janet are watching television while eating TV dinners) | ||
| Line 147: | Line 147: | ||
'''Marty:''' Does he always do that after he eats? | '''Marty:''' Does he always do that after he eats? | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Only on Wednesday. (pan over to SpongeBob pushing his nose to reveal his underwear. When he lets go, his pants pull up by themselves. This is repeated a few times. SpongeBob makes an alarm sound after that. Patrick giggles)<br> | |
'''Marty:''' (starts giggling with Patrick) Uh, Patrick, I think your friend might be broken.<br> | '''Marty:''' (starts giggling with Patrick) Uh, Patrick, I think your friend might be broken.<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Yeah, and it would take more than some masking tape to fix that guy. (SpongeBob balances on his nose while making a fire truck sound. Makes other various sounds)<br> | |
'''Marty:''' Whoa! Is he gonna be okay?<br> | '''Marty:''' Whoa! Is he gonna be okay?<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, that's nothing. (dolphin chirping) You should see him in the morning, prancing around yelling "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!" (rooster crows) He drives all the neighbors crazy! (horn) Why, just the other day, our neighbor Squidward was...(SpongeBob crashes into the walls while an elephant trumpets in the background) There's really no help for him. I mean, look at the way he's dressed. Only somebody with holes drilled in their head would wear that stuff! And how about his shape? I mean, I've heard of barrel-chested, but never box-chested! (Janet, Marty and Patrick laugh) Hey, SpongeBob, do you have any mascara I could borrow? (makes his eyebrows sound like elastic rubber bands)<br> | |
'''Marty:''' (chuckles) The boy wears make-up?<br> | '''Marty:''' (chuckles) The boy wears make-up?<br> | ||
| Line 165: | Line 165: | ||
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Patrick! Patrick!<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Patrick! Patrick!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Aww, he said my name.<br> | |
'''Marty:''' Wow! How'd you train him to do that?<br> | '''Marty:''' Wow! How'd you train him to do that?<br> | ||
| Line 171: | Line 171: | ||
(SpongeBob is mad. He bites Patrick's finger) | (SpongeBob is mad. He bites Patrick's finger) | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Ow! He bit me!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, meet me in the kitchen!<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, meet me in the kitchen!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, I guess the dummy wants to have a private conversation. (Janet and Marty laugh) A dumb one! (Janet and Marty laugh again) (in the kitchen) So, what's on your mind? Oh, wait, I already know the answer. Nothing! (laughs) See, that's funny, 'cause you're dumb!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, could you let up on the insults just a little bit?<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, could you let up on the insults just a little bit?<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, were those too complicated for you? I'll try dumbing them down a bit.<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, I get the feeling that you think I really am dumb! (Patrick is now wearing a T-shirt reading "I'm with the dummy" pointing at SpongeBob)<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, I get the feeling that you think I really am dumb! (Patrick is now wearing a T-shirt reading "I'm with the dummy" pointing at SpongeBob)<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': (chuckles) That's just what I'd expect you to say. Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are. (drools)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' I'm only pretending to be dumb! It was our plan, remember?<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' I'm only pretending to be dumb! It was our plan, remember?<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Oh, SpongeBob, if only you could see how stupid you sound right now when you talk of imaginary plans. Tell you what. You've caught me in a good mood. I'll humor you. Go on, go out there and act "smart" for everyone.<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' Ok, I will! (takes off his helmet and hands it to Patrick)<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Ok, I will! (takes off his helmet and hands it to Patrick)<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': (puts the helmet on his head) And don't worry, I'll keep this warm for you!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' (in front of Janet and Marty) I have a confession to make. I lied about being stupid. I just acted like a fool so you would appreciate Patrick a little bit more. I know how to talk and eat and do laundry. I even separate the darks from the whites. So whaddya say we start over and try again? Hi! My name is SpongeBob SquarePants. And I am not a dummy.<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' (in front of Janet and Marty) I have a confession to make. I lied about being stupid. I just acted like a fool so you would appreciate Patrick a little bit more. I know how to talk and eat and do laundry. I even separate the darks from the whites. So whaddya say we start over and try again? Hi! My name is SpongeBob SquarePants. And I am not a dummy.<br> | ||
| Line 197: | Line 197: | ||
'''Marty:''' (laughs) Amazing! Three minutes in the kitchen and our son has taught him to talk in complete sentences. Aw, good work, son. (gives Patrick the thumbs-up) <br> | '''Marty:''' (laughs) Amazing! Three minutes in the kitchen and our son has taught him to talk in complete sentences. Aw, good work, son. (gives Patrick the thumbs-up) <br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': (gives Marty the thumbs-up) It wasn't easy, dad!<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' (sputtering) But... but, but, but, but, but, but...<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' (sputtering) But... but, but, but, but, but, but...<br> | ||
| Line 205: | Line 205: | ||
'''SpongeBob:''' Now, listen to me! I'm not dumb! I have a brain! See, here's a picture of it! (he shows them a picture of his brain)<br> | '''SpongeBob:''' Now, listen to me! I'm not dumb! I have a brain! See, here's a picture of it! (he shows them a picture of his brain)<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': That must be actual size! (all laugh)<br> | |
'''SpongeBob:''' No! It's normal size and fully functional! Watch! (writes on Patrick's chalkboard) 2 plus 2 equals 4. | '''SpongeBob:''' No! It's normal size and fully functional! Watch! (writes on Patrick's chalkboard) 2 plus 2 equals 4. | ||
| Line 227: | Line 227: | ||
'''Squidward:''' Excuse me. Does this lovely couple belong to you? They've been standing outside my house saying "Where's Patrick?" all day! It's driving me nuts!<br> | '''Squidward:''' Excuse me. Does this lovely couple belong to you? They've been standing outside my house saying "Where's Patrick?" all day! It's driving me nuts!<br> | ||
| − | + | '''Patrick''': Mom! Dad!<br> | |
'''Herb:''' Wow, son! You actually recognized us this time.<br> | '''Herb:''' Wow, son! You actually recognized us this time.<br> | ||
Revision as of 03:11, 22 March 2011
| Back Episode Transcript | Next Episode Transcript |
|---|---|
| Procrastination | Sailor Mouth |
Episode Article: I'm with Stupid
Characters
Dialogue
(SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick's houses are seen. Patrick's house is shaking. SpongeBob knocks on it. Every time he does, it closes. He opens it himself. Patrick is cleaning. He featherdusts SpongeBob)
Patrick: Need...furniture! (makes a lamp post model)
SpongeBob: Patrick, what's with the home improvement? (Patrick barks and continues to clean) Hey, Patrick! (Patrick continues to clean) Well Patrick, I came over to see if you wanted to go jellyfishing. But I can see you're busy having an episode.
Patrick: (stops cleaning. His face turns mad) You know something, SpongeBob? It's just all fun and games for you. Nothing really matters. (imitates SpongeBob) Well, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do! Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews! And nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe... or fabricate!
SpongeBob: But, Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate!
Patrick: (starts crying) I don't know what to do, SpongeBob! You've got to help me!
SpongeBob: (gasps) Patrick! You forgot how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel.
Patrick: No, it's not that, SpongeBob. It's worse.
SpongeBob: Darn, I liked the funnel. Then what is it?
Patrick: Look! (takes out a rolled-up piece of paper from his belly button)
SpongeBob: Hey, a note! (a sixteenth note is shown)
Patrick: Yeah, but turn it over! There's a letter! (the letter B is shown)
SpongeBob: You're right!
Patrick: And, I got this message from my parents!
SpongeBob: Your parents? (reads the note out loud) Dear Patrick, your mom and I are coming out tomorrow for Starfish Day. Please try to remember, but don't try too hard, or you'll hurt yourself like last time. Love, Daddy.
Patrick: SpongeBob, my parents think I'm dumber than a sack of diapers.
SpongeBob: No, they don't, Patrick. Parents just like to push your buttons. Like this! (pushes Patrick's belly button and his eyes elongate) Beep!
Patrick: (laughing) That always cheers me up. But not today.
SpongeBob: Patrick, if your parents think you're dumb, then they must not know what dumb really is.
Patrick: But don't they watch television?
SpongeBob: That's what I'm saying, Pat! If they got to meet a real dummy, they'd realize what a genius you really are!
Patrick: But don't genies live in a lamp? And besides, we don't know any dumb people.
SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick! I'll be the dummy! When your parents see how dumb I act, they'll think you're the smartest guy ever!
Patrick: Math is power!
(cut to the next day. Patrick is in front of his mirror)
Patrick: A B C D E F G...(doorbell rings) Oh! H I J K L M N O...!
Janet: Should I get the bullhorn again, Marty?
Patrick: Did you notice it? (Marty is so bored from banging that he still knocks on Patrick's head) Hi mom. Hi dad.
Marty: Son! You recognized us this time!
Patrick: Why wouldn't I recognize my own parents?
Marty: You never were a bright one. (Patrick wonders. Marty laughs) Aren't you gonna show us inside?
Janet: He probably forgot where it is!
Patrick: Well I know where it...
Marty: Oh. Let me lead the way so we don't get lost. (Patrick, Marty and Janet hold hands) Ok, son, hold hands now! (inside the house) Ok, we're almost there! Let go on three. One...two...three!
Janet: Good job!
Marty and Janet: Pats for Patrick! (both laugh)
Patrick: I'll go get the beverages. (Patrick holds a tray full of drinks)
Marty: Wow, son! You put the drinks in something this time! Ah, son, you must have been working all night to put these together for us!
Janet and Marty: We love you! (both kiss Patrick)
Patrick: (doorbell rings) Hooray, the idiot is here! I mean, I'll get it!
SpongeBob: Protective helmet, check.
Gary: Meow.
SpongeBob: I'm supposed to look stupid, Gary!
Gary: Meow? (goes back to SpongeBob's house)
SpongeBob: What could go wrong? (Patrick's rock opens)
Patrick: What a surprise!
SpongeBob: Hi.
Patrick: Mom, Dad, meet my neighbor, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: Hi.
Marty: Hello there!
Janet: How do you do?
SpongeBob: Hi. (walks to Patrick's parents)
Marty: Put her there. (SpongeBob puts a doll on his hand)
Doll: Mama! Mama!
Patrick: He means "shake". (SpongeBob shakes his entire body) No, SpongeBob, no! Shake hands! (SpongeBob shakes both his hands) No, SpongeBob! Grab my dad's hand. (puts both his hands and his left leg on Marty's hand) Grab it with only one hand! (puts his left leg and hand down) Good boy! Now move your arm up and down! (he moves his shoulder up and down. Patrick giggles)
Janet: So, SpongeBob. Do you live nearby?
SpongeBob: Hi.
Patrick: No, SpongeBob. Show them your house! (reveals a blouse) No, not your blouse! Your house! (SpongeBob runs over to his house)
Janet: He lives in a fruit?
Marty: That's unhealthy.
Patrick: (giggles) Hey, SpongeBob! Do you want to stay for dinner? (SpongeBob does some weird things)
(Later, Patrick, Marty and Janet are watching television while eating TV dinners)
Marty: Does he always do that after he eats?
Patrick: Only on Wednesday. (pan over to SpongeBob pushing his nose to reveal his underwear. When he lets go, his pants pull up by themselves. This is repeated a few times. SpongeBob makes an alarm sound after that. Patrick giggles)
Marty: (starts giggling with Patrick) Uh, Patrick, I think your friend might be broken.
Patrick: Yeah, and it would take more than some masking tape to fix that guy. (SpongeBob balances on his nose while making a fire truck sound. Makes other various sounds)
Marty: Whoa! Is he gonna be okay?
Patrick: Oh, that's nothing. (dolphin chirping) You should see him in the morning, prancing around yelling "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!" (rooster crows) He drives all the neighbors crazy! (horn) Why, just the other day, our neighbor Squidward was...(SpongeBob crashes into the walls while an elephant trumpets in the background) There's really no help for him. I mean, look at the way he's dressed. Only somebody with holes drilled in their head would wear that stuff! And how about his shape? I mean, I've heard of barrel-chested, but never box-chested! (Janet, Marty and Patrick laugh) Hey, SpongeBob, do you have any mascara I could borrow? (makes his eyebrows sound like elastic rubber bands)
Marty: (chuckles) The boy wears make-up?
Janet: What a card!
(Janet, Marty and Patrick laugh. SpongeBob frowns)
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick! Patrick!
Patrick: Aww, he said my name.
Marty: Wow! How'd you train him to do that?
(SpongeBob is mad. He bites Patrick's finger)
Patrick: Ow! He bit me!
SpongeBob: Patrick, meet me in the kitchen!
Patrick: Oh, I guess the dummy wants to have a private conversation. (Janet and Marty laugh) A dumb one! (Janet and Marty laugh again) (in the kitchen) So, what's on your mind? Oh, wait, I already know the answer. Nothing! (laughs) See, that's funny, 'cause you're dumb!
SpongeBob: Patrick, could you let up on the insults just a little bit?
Patrick: Oh, were those too complicated for you? I'll try dumbing them down a bit.
SpongeBob: Patrick, I get the feeling that you think I really am dumb! (Patrick is now wearing a T-shirt reading "I'm with the dummy" pointing at SpongeBob)
Patrick: (chuckles) That's just what I'd expect you to say. Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are. (drools)
SpongeBob: I'm only pretending to be dumb! It was our plan, remember?
Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, if only you could see how stupid you sound right now when you talk of imaginary plans. Tell you what. You've caught me in a good mood. I'll humor you. Go on, go out there and act "smart" for everyone.
SpongeBob: Ok, I will! (takes off his helmet and hands it to Patrick)
Patrick: (puts the helmet on his head) And don't worry, I'll keep this warm for you!
SpongeBob: (in front of Janet and Marty) I have a confession to make. I lied about being stupid. I just acted like a fool so you would appreciate Patrick a little bit more. I know how to talk and eat and do laundry. I even separate the darks from the whites. So whaddya say we start over and try again? Hi! My name is SpongeBob SquarePants. And I am not a dummy.
Marty: (laughs) Amazing! Three minutes in the kitchen and our son has taught him to talk in complete sentences. Aw, good work, son. (gives Patrick the thumbs-up)
Patrick: (gives Marty the thumbs-up) It wasn't easy, dad!
SpongeBob: (sputtering) But... but, but, but, but, but, but...
Janet: It looks like it's time for your next lesson, young man!
SpongeBob: Now, listen to me! I'm not dumb! I have a brain! See, here's a picture of it! (he shows them a picture of his brain)
Patrick: That must be actual size! (all laugh)
SpongeBob: No! It's normal size and fully functional! Watch! (writes on Patrick's chalkboard) 2 plus 2 equals 4.
Marty: Oh, son! You taught him math too!
SpongeBob: Nooo!!!
Marty: And you thought him to sing! (SpongeBob is blabbering and sputtering) Oh, now he's short-circuiting! You must have taught him a little too much!
SpongeBob: (imagines them laughing hard. He imagines him inside Janet, who is laughing, inside Marty, who is also laughing, inside Patrick, who is also laughing, inside his eye. He screams in real life and runs away to his house)
Marty: You know, son, I know when it comes to brightness, well, you're about a three-watt. But that guy! He's a wet match in a dark cave. He even makes phone operators seem smart! But more importantly, son, you've shown me how much of a quick-witted boy you've become. (hugs him) I feel like I'm really seeing you for the first time. Isn't that right, Janet?
Janet: You bet! Marty!
'Patrick':(his eyes widen) Janet? Marty? Who are you people?!
Janet: Marty! I'm scared! (doorbell rings)
Squidward: Excuse me. Does this lovely couple belong to you? They've been standing outside my house saying "Where's Patrick?" all day! It's driving me nuts!
Patrick: Mom! Dad!
Herb: Wow, son! You actually recognized us this time.
Margie: And you remembered to get dressed today! (Patrick, Herb and Margie laugh)
Marty: Oh, that's right, honey. We don't have a son.
Janet: Oh yeah! (both walk away. Herb, Margie and Patrick are inside Patrick's house. The house closes)
