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Episode Transcript: SpongeBob Meets the Strangler
| Line 27: | Line 27: | ||
SpongeBob: Wait for it... (the clock hand almost ticks to 8:00, but stops, then goes again. When it strikes 8:00, SpongeBob punches in then jumps in the air. The scene pauses him in mid-air)<br> | SpongeBob: Wait for it... (the clock hand almost ticks to 8:00, but stops, then goes again. When it strikes 8:00, SpongeBob punches in then jumps in the air. The scene pauses him in mid-air)<br> | ||
| − | Lady: On Time Percentage: 100%. (the scene starts again. Squidward walks up to the time clock)<br> | + | ''Lady: On Time Percentage: 100%.'' (the scene starts again. Squidward walks up to the time clock)<br> |
| − | Squidward: Another day, another migraine. Heh, heh, mi | + | Squidward: Another day, another migraine. Heh, heh, mi-- (scene pauses again)<br> |
| − | Lady: On Time Percentage: 12%. (the screen un-pauses)<br> | + | ''Lady: On Time Percentage: 12%.'' (the screen un-pauses)<br> |
| − | Squidward: | + | Squidward: --graine. Heh, heh, heh.<br> |
SpongeBob: Ahh, isn't it great working at the Krusty Krab, Squidward? Huh? Isn't it? Working here?<br> | SpongeBob: Ahh, isn't it great working at the Krusty Krab, Squidward? Huh? Isn't it? Working here?<br> | ||
| Line 49: | Line 49: | ||
SpongeBob: Hold that thought, Squidward. I'm doing the parking lot for early morning litter patrol. May Neptune shine | SpongeBob: Hold that thought, Squidward. I'm doing the parking lot for early morning litter patrol. May Neptune shine | ||
brightly on my harvest. (laughs. SpongeBob walks out with a bunch of trash stuff with him) Litter. (picks up trash) Looks | brightly on my harvest. (laughs. SpongeBob walks out with a bunch of trash stuff with him) Litter. (picks up trash) Looks | ||
| − | like someone missed the trash basket, huh, Mr. Candy Wrapper? (laughs) Kids these days. (another piece of trash falls to | + | like someone missed the trash basket, huh, [[Mr. Candy Wrapper]]? (laughs) Kids these days. (another piece of trash falls to |
the ground) I've never seen such an epidemic! Well, at least it's all over now. (more trash falls to the ground and | the ground) I've never seen such an epidemic! Well, at least it's all over now. (more trash falls to the ground and | ||
| − | SpongeBob picks them up in a hurry. After he finishes, one more parachutes to the ground, infuriating him) | + | SpongeBob picks them up in a hurry. After he finishes, one more parachutes to the ground, infuriating him) '''WHERE IS ALL THIS LITTER COMING FROM?!''' (SpongeBob notices someone tossing trash out |
of a car) Not on my watch. (walks up to the car) Sir, I will have you know it's against the law to litter.<br> | of a car) Not on my watch. (walks up to the car) Sir, I will have you know it's against the law to litter.<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: Heh, what're you gonna do, call the police? (police arrive)<br> | + | [[Tattletale Strangler]]: Heh, what're you gonna do, call the [[police]]? (police arrive)<br> |
SpongeBob: Yes. (police begin to handcuff the Strangler. They walk past him in single-file and continue cuffing him)<br> | SpongeBob: Yes. (police begin to handcuff the Strangler. They walk past him in single-file and continue cuffing him)<br> | ||
| Line 63: | Line 63: | ||
desserts.<br> | desserts.<br> | ||
| − | Squidward: Whatever. Huh? (notices the Strangler in the police car) SpongeBob, don't you know who that is? | + | [[Squidward]]: Whatever. Huh? (notices the Strangler in the police car) SpongeBob, don't you know who that is? |
SpongeBob: Who?<br> | SpongeBob: Who?<br> | ||
| Line 72: | Line 72: | ||
Squidward: The Tattletale Strangler! (shows SpongeBob a 'WANTED' poster of the Strangler) He's promised to strangle | Squidward: The Tattletale Strangler! (shows SpongeBob a 'WANTED' poster of the Strangler) He's promised to strangle | ||
| − | anyone who turns him in. ( | + | anyone who turns him in. |
| + | |||
| + | (STRANGLER ROARING) | ||
SpongeBob: He seems kind of angry with us, eh, Squidward? (SpongeBob notices Squidward is gone) Squidward? Squidward?<br> | SpongeBob: He seems kind of angry with us, eh, Squidward? (SpongeBob notices Squidward is gone) Squidward? Squidward?<br> | ||
| − | Officer Malley: You're gonna do time, Strangler. Hard time. (SpongeBob walks up to the police)<br> | + | [[Officer Malley]]: You're gonna do time, Strangler. Hard time. (SpongeBob walks up to the police)<br> |
SpongeBob: Hi, officers. So, he's going to jail, right?<br> | SpongeBob: Hi, officers. So, he's going to jail, right?<br> | ||
| − | Officer Nancy: Who, Strangler?<br> | + | [[Officer Nancy]]: Who, Strangler?<br> |
SpongeBob: Yeah, Strangler.<br> | SpongeBob: Yeah, Strangler.<br> | ||
| Line 92: | Line 94: | ||
Officer Malley: Yeah. We got him chained up real good. He'll never get away.<br> | Officer Malley: Yeah. We got him chained up real good. He'll never get away.<br> | ||
| − | Officer Nancy: Oops, not again | + | Officer Nancy: Oops, not again! (Strangler is missing)<br> |
Officer Malley: Yep, he got away. (SpongeBob screams then walks up to the police)<br> | Officer Malley: Yep, he got away. (SpongeBob screams then walks up to the police)<br> | ||
| Line 105: | Line 107: | ||
I need a bodyguard.<br> | I need a bodyguard.<br> | ||
| − | Mr. Krabs: (laughs) I wasn't five-time 'Golden Claws' in the navy for nothin'! When he sees me moves, he'll be running | + | Mr. Krabs: (laughs) I wasn't five-time '[[Golden Claws]]' in the navy for nothin'! When he sees me moves, he'll be running |
scared. So, where is this little bully? Down at the park? The sodey shop? What does he look like, eh, boy?<br> | scared. So, where is this little bully? Down at the park? The sodey shop? What does he look like, eh, boy?<br> | ||
| − | SpongeBob: This would be him, Mr. Krabs. (takes out a wanted poster)<br> | + | SpongeBob: This would be him, [[Mr. Krabs]]. (takes out a wanted poster)<br> |
Mr. Krabs: (screams) The Tattletale Strangler? (his eyes go into his body) Go away, SpongeBob! Take your death cloud with | Mr. Krabs: (screams) The Tattletale Strangler? (his eyes go into his body) Go away, SpongeBob! Take your death cloud with | ||
you! (scene cuts to SpongeBob showing the wanted poster to people. Shows it to Larry, who turns into a real lobster on a | you! (scene cuts to SpongeBob showing the wanted poster to people. Shows it to Larry, who turns into a real lobster on a | ||
| − | plate. | + | plate. Then a construction worker, and some guys at the [[Tough Tavern]]) |
SpongeBob: (at the bus stop) Ugh, that's it. I gotta get out of town 'til I can find a bodyguard. (Strangler is on the | SpongeBob: (at the bus stop) Ugh, that's it. I gotta get out of town 'til I can find a bodyguard. (Strangler is on the | ||
bench reading a newspaper)<br> | bench reading a newspaper)<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: Bodyguard, huh? I might be able to help you out. (SpongeBob walks over)<br> | + | Strangler: [[Bodyguard]], huh? I might be able to help you out. (SpongeBob walks over)<br> |
SpongeBob: You don't understand, mister. I need protection from the scariest guy in town. Here's his picture. (holds up | SpongeBob: You don't understand, mister. I need protection from the scariest guy in town. Here's his picture. (holds up | ||
| − | the wanted poster. The Strangler reveals himself wearing a | + | the wanted poster. The Strangler reveals himself wearing a [[Fake Mustache]])<br> |
Strangler: Heh heh, he doesn't look so tough.<br> | Strangler: Heh heh, he doesn't look so tough.<br> | ||
SpongeBob: I tattled on him, and now he wants to strangle me with his diabolical hands! I hope they're not dirty. | SpongeBob: I tattled on him, and now he wants to strangle me with his diabolical hands! I hope they're not dirty. | ||
| − | (Strangler holds up his filthy hands and laughs. Before the Strangler starts to strangle SpongeBob, a bus of people drive | + | (Strangler holds up his filthy hands and laughs. Before the Strangler starts to strangle SpongeBob, a bus of people drive up to the bus stop then leave)<br> |
| − | + | ||
| − | up to the bus stop then leave)<br> | + | |
Strangler: Huh? Uh-oh. Uhh, there's too many witnesses around here. (walks up to SpongeBob) Listen, kid. I could be your | Strangler: Huh? Uh-oh. Uhh, there's too many witnesses around here. (walks up to SpongeBob) Listen, kid. I could be your | ||
| Line 138: | Line 138: | ||
with a walker) Or that baby. (points to a baby in a stroller)<br> | with a walker) Or that baby. (points to a baby in a stroller)<br> | ||
| − | SpongeBob: Or that pebble. Or that stick. Or that receipt for the Phony Baloney Mustache Emporium!<br> | + | SpongeBob: Or that pebble. Or that stick. Or that receipt for the [[Phony Baloney Mustache Emporium]]!<br> |
Strangler: Huh? Uhh, that's mine. (picks it up and puts it in his pocket)<br> | Strangler: Huh? Uhh, that's mine. (picks it up and puts it in his pocket)<br> | ||
| Line 144: | Line 144: | ||
SpongeBob: Oh, bodyguard, my body is in your guarding hands. What do we do first?<br> | SpongeBob: Oh, bodyguard, my body is in your guarding hands. What do we do first?<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: Well, I suggest we go to a nice, quiet, secluded location, uh, like behind an old dumpster or a dark | + | Strangler: Well, I suggest we go to a nice, quiet, secluded location, uh, like behind an old dumpster or a dark alley...<br> |
| − | alley...<br> | + | |
SpongeBob: We could go to my house and turn off all the lights!<br> | SpongeBob: We could go to my house and turn off all the lights!<br> | ||
| Line 164: | Line 163: | ||
SpongeBob: I'll take both! (scene cuts to 'Dry Cleaning While-U-Wait')<br> | SpongeBob: I'll take both! (scene cuts to 'Dry Cleaning While-U-Wait')<br> | ||
| − | Dry Cleaner: Here you go, Mr. SquarePants. (he hands him his clothes)<br> | + | [[Dry Cleaner]]: Here you go, [[Mr. SquarePants]]. (he hands him his clothes)<br> |
SpongeBob: Hmmm.<br> | SpongeBob: Hmmm.<br> | ||
| Line 173: | Line 172: | ||
his wrist and holds it up to the Strangler) How about this one, bodyguard? Too overbearing?<br> | his wrist and holds it up to the Strangler) How about this one, bodyguard? Too overbearing?<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: Can we just go to your house?! (scene cuts to SpongeBob’s house)<br> | + | Strangler: Can we just go to [[SpongeBob's House|your house]]?! (scene cuts to SpongeBob’s house)<br> |
| − | SpongeBob: Here we are | + | SpongeBob: Here we are, [[SquarePants Manor]]! Bodyguard, let me just take this opportunity to say you're the best bodyguard |
a fella could hope to have.<br> | a fella could hope to have.<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: All right, enough of the sappy talk! Open the door so I can strangle you...I mean, uhh, choke you...I mean, | + | Strangler: All right, enough of the sappy talk! Open the door so I can strangle you... I mean, uhh, choke you... I mean, |
uhh, crush your windpipe...gah, I mean...<br> | uhh, crush your windpipe...gah, I mean...<br> | ||
| Line 187: | Line 186: | ||
SpongeBob: Don't mention it, Strangler. (gasps) I mean, bodyguard. Now where'd I put my key?<br> | SpongeBob: Don't mention it, Strangler. (gasps) I mean, bodyguard. Now where'd I put my key?<br> | ||
| − | Narrator: Twenty minutes later... (SpongeBob is still searching for his key)<br> | + | [[Narrator]]: Twenty minutes later... (SpongeBob is still searching for his key)<br> |
SpongeBob: Well, I can't find 'em. You wanna take a look?<br> | SpongeBob: Well, I can't find 'em. You wanna take a look?<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: Forget the key, let's climb through this window. (struggles reaching for the window) I can't reach it. Do you | + | Strangler: Forget the key, let's climb through this window. (struggles reaching for the window) I can't reach it. Do you think you could hop up on my shoulders, kid? |
| − | + | (SpongeBob is wearing cleats)<br> | |
SpongeBob: Sure! With these spiky cleats, anything is possible! (jumps onto the Strangler) Ya!<br> | SpongeBob: Sure! With these spiky cleats, anything is possible! (jumps onto the Strangler) Ya!<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: Cleats? ( | + | Strangler: Cleats? (SpongeBob's feet land in the Stranglers eyes. The Strangler screams) Get your feet out of my eye |
sockets! (SpongeBob starts tugging at his legs)<br> | sockets! (SpongeBob starts tugging at his legs)<br> | ||
| Line 225: | Line 224: | ||
SpongeBob: A surprise party to celebrate my perfect on-time percentage at work? Oh, how'd you guys know?<br> | SpongeBob: A surprise party to celebrate my perfect on-time percentage at work? Oh, how'd you guys know?<br> | ||
| − | Patrick: It's on the invitations you sent us. (holds an invitation up) Let's boogie! (everyone parties. The Strangler | + | [[Patrick]]: It's on the invitations you sent us. (holds an invitation up) Let's boogie! (everyone parties. The Strangler |
| − | sits down in | + | sits down in SpongeBob's chair. Scene cuts to the end of the party)<br> |
| − | SpongeBob: Bye, everybody, thanks for coming! Bye Mr. Krabs, bye Plankton, bye Sandy, bye Larry, bye Pearl, bye Mrs. Puff, bye Squidward, bye eh the rest (everyone else leaves walks back into the house and laughs) Ahh, alone at last. (the Strangler wakes up)<br> | + | SpongeBob: Bye, everybody, thanks for coming! Bye Mr. Krabs, bye [[Plankton]], bye [[Sandy]], bye [[Larry]], bye [[Pearl]], bye [[Mrs. Puff]], bye Squidward, bye eh the rest (everyone else leaves walks back into the house and laughs) Ahh, alone at last. (the Strangler wakes up)<br> |
Strangler: What? Huh? Huh? What? Huh? (SpongeBob closes the door) So, we're all alone now?<br> | Strangler: What? Huh? Huh? What? Huh? (SpongeBob closes the door) So, we're all alone now?<br> | ||
| Line 256: | Line 255: | ||
Patrick: Great parties, huh?<br> | Patrick: Great parties, huh?<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: Oh...sorry, Tubby, you've gotta go.<br> | + | Strangler: Oh...sorry, [[Patrick|Tubby]], you've gotta go.<br> |
SpongeBob: Wait! We can trust Patrick. He's my best friend.<br> | SpongeBob: Wait! We can trust Patrick. He's my best friend.<br> | ||
| Line 266: | Line 265: | ||
SpongeBob: So, Patrick's the Strangler. Gee, you think you know a guy.<br> | SpongeBob: So, Patrick's the Strangler. Gee, you think you know a guy.<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: He's not the Strangler!<br> | + | [[Episode Transcript: Shell of a Man|Strangler: He's not the Strangler!<br> |
SpongeBob: He's not?<br> | SpongeBob: He's not?<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: (rips off his mustache) I am!!<br> | + | Strangler: (rips off his mustache) I am!!]]<br> |
SpongeBob: Hey, how'd you do that without shaving cream?<br> | SpongeBob: Hey, how'd you do that without shaving cream?<br> | ||
| Line 286: | Line 285: | ||
Strangler: Step on it! I'm being chased by a maniac! (SpongeBob chases after the taxi)<br> | Strangler: Step on it! I'm being chased by a maniac! (SpongeBob chases after the taxi)<br> | ||
| − | SpongeBob: I'm not safe! Come back! (taxi goes to the Bikini Bottom Airport and drives onto a plane)<br> | + | SpongeBob: I'm not safe! Come back! (taxi goes to the [[Bikini Bottom Airport]] and drives onto a plane)<br> |
Strangler: Finally, away from that guy.<br> | Strangler: Finally, away from that guy.<br> | ||
| Line 292: | Line 291: | ||
SpongeBob: Good idea, bodyguard. He'll never find us up here. (Strangler screams then jumps out of the plane. He pulls | SpongeBob: Good idea, bodyguard. He'll never find us up here. (Strangler screams then jumps out of the plane. He pulls | ||
his parachute cord then notices it is actually SpongeBob) Good thinking, bodyguard. The Strangler could have been on that | his parachute cord then notices it is actually SpongeBob) Good thinking, bodyguard. The Strangler could have been on that | ||
| − | plane. (Strangler takes out a pair of scissors and cuts the strings off the parachute and plummets right into the Bikini | + | plane. (Strangler takes out a pair of scissors and cuts the strings off the parachute and plummets right into the [[Bikini |
| − | Bottom Police Station | + | Bottom Police Station Jail]]. SpongeBob comes running up to him) Bodyguard, bodyguard!<br> |
Strangler: Look, kid. I'm not your bodyguard. (cries) I'm the Strangler. See? (points to the 'WANTED' poster on the wall) | Strangler: Look, kid. I'm not your bodyguard. (cries) I'm the Strangler. See? (points to the 'WANTED' poster on the wall) | ||
| Line 302: | Line 301: | ||
Officer Nancy: Good work, SpongeBob. You put the Strangler behind bars.<br> | Officer Nancy: Good work, SpongeBob. You put the Strangler behind bars.<br> | ||
| − | Strangler: At least I'm safe from that yellow idiot. (Patrick is in the same cell as the Strangler)<br> | + | Strangler: At least I'm safe from that [[The Drifter|yellow idiot]]. (Patrick is in the same cell as the Strangler)<br> |
Patrick: Hey, Mac, what're you in for? | Patrick: Hey, Mac, what're you in for? | ||
Revision as of 00:06, 14 November 2010
| Back Episode Transcript | Next Episode Transcript |
|---|---|
| Plankton's Army | Pranks a Lot |
Episode Article: SpongeBob Meets the Strangler
Characters
- SpongeBob
- Patrick
- Squidward
- Mr. Krabs
- TattleTale Strangler
- Police
- Tough Guys
- Larry the Lobster
- Party Guests
Dialogue
(first scene at the Krusty Krab. SpongeBob is waiting to punch his card in)
SpongeBob: Wait for it... (the clock hand almost ticks to 8:00, but stops, then goes again. When it strikes 8:00, SpongeBob punches in then jumps in the air. The scene pauses him in mid-air)
Lady: On Time Percentage: 100%. (the scene starts again. Squidward walks up to the time clock)
Squidward: Another day, another migraine. Heh, heh, mi-- (scene pauses again)
Lady: On Time Percentage: 12%. (the screen un-pauses)
Squidward: --graine. Heh, heh, heh.
SpongeBob: Ahh, isn't it great working at the Krusty Krab, Squidward? Huh? Isn't it? Working here?
Squidward: Yeah, great.
SpongeBob: Yeah.
Squidward: Yeah.
SpongeBob: Aww, yeah.
Squidward: (getting annoyed) Yes...
SpongeBob: Hold that thought, Squidward. I'm doing the parking lot for early morning litter patrol. May Neptune shine
brightly on my harvest. (laughs. SpongeBob walks out with a bunch of trash stuff with him) Litter. (picks up trash) Looks
like someone missed the trash basket, huh, Mr. Candy Wrapper? (laughs) Kids these days. (another piece of trash falls to
the ground) I've never seen such an epidemic! Well, at least it's all over now. (more trash falls to the ground and
SpongeBob picks them up in a hurry. After he finishes, one more parachutes to the ground, infuriating him) WHERE IS ALL THIS LITTER COMING FROM?! (SpongeBob notices someone tossing trash out
of a car) Not on my watch. (walks up to the car) Sir, I will have you know it's against the law to litter.
Tattletale Strangler: Heh, what're you gonna do, call the police? (police arrive)
SpongeBob: Yes. (police begin to handcuff the Strangler. They walk past him in single-file and continue cuffing him)
Squidward: How's it going, Lieutenant?
SpongeBob: Well, let's just say I hope our litterbug there saved room for his just desserts. (laughs) Yeah, just
desserts.
Squidward: Whatever. Huh? (notices the Strangler in the police car) SpongeBob, don't you know who that is?
SpongeBob: Who?
Squidward: That's the Tattletale Strangler.
SpongeBob: Who?
Squidward: The Tattletale Strangler! (shows SpongeBob a 'WANTED' poster of the Strangler) He's promised to strangle anyone who turns him in.
(STRANGLER ROARING)
SpongeBob: He seems kind of angry with us, eh, Squidward? (SpongeBob notices Squidward is gone) Squidward? Squidward?
Officer Malley: You're gonna do time, Strangler. Hard time. (SpongeBob walks up to the police)
SpongeBob: Hi, officers. So, he's going to jail, right?
Officer Nancy: Who, Strangler?
SpongeBob: Yeah, Strangler.
Officer Nancy: Oh, yeah, he's going to jail for a long time. (Strangler draws SpongeBob on the backseat)
SpongeBob: Hey, that looks like me! (Strangler begins hitting on the headrest then laughs. SpongeBob screams)
Officer Nancy: Don't worry, SpongeBob. He won't be able to strangle you.
Officer Malley: Yeah. We got him chained up real good. He'll never get away.
Officer Nancy: Oops, not again! (Strangler is missing)
Officer Malley: Yep, he got away. (SpongeBob screams then walks up to the police)
SpongeBob: You nice officers will protect me, right?
Officer Nancy: We ain't bodyguards, kid.
Officer Malley: Yeah, give us a call if you see him again...tattletale. (they drive off)
SpongeBob: Those officers are right. I need a bodyguard! (runs into the Krusty Krab) Mr. Krabs! There's a maniac after me!
I need a bodyguard.
Mr. Krabs: (laughs) I wasn't five-time 'Golden Claws' in the navy for nothin'! When he sees me moves, he'll be running
scared. So, where is this little bully? Down at the park? The sodey shop? What does he look like, eh, boy?
SpongeBob: This would be him, Mr. Krabs. (takes out a wanted poster)
Mr. Krabs: (screams) The Tattletale Strangler? (his eyes go into his body) Go away, SpongeBob! Take your death cloud with you! (scene cuts to SpongeBob showing the wanted poster to people. Shows it to Larry, who turns into a real lobster on a plate. Then a construction worker, and some guys at the Tough Tavern)
SpongeBob: (at the bus stop) Ugh, that's it. I gotta get out of town 'til I can find a bodyguard. (Strangler is on the
bench reading a newspaper)
Strangler: Bodyguard, huh? I might be able to help you out. (SpongeBob walks over)
SpongeBob: You don't understand, mister. I need protection from the scariest guy in town. Here's his picture. (holds up
the wanted poster. The Strangler reveals himself wearing a Fake Mustache)
Strangler: Heh heh, he doesn't look so tough.
SpongeBob: I tattled on him, and now he wants to strangle me with his diabolical hands! I hope they're not dirty.
(Strangler holds up his filthy hands and laughs. Before the Strangler starts to strangle SpongeBob, a bus of people drive up to the bus stop then leave)
Strangler: Huh? Uh-oh. Uhh, there's too many witnesses around here. (walks up to SpongeBob) Listen, kid. I could be your
bodyguard. Here's my card.
SpongeBob: Hmm, looks good to me. You're hired! I feel safer already. What's next? (a five cent sticker is hanging from
the Strangler's fake mustache)
Strangler: Well, the maniac could be anywhere, wearing a disguise. He could be that old man. (he points to an old guy
with a walker) Or that baby. (points to a baby in a stroller)
SpongeBob: Or that pebble. Or that stick. Or that receipt for the Phony Baloney Mustache Emporium!
Strangler: Huh? Uhh, that's mine. (picks it up and puts it in his pocket)
SpongeBob: Oh, bodyguard, my body is in your guarding hands. What do we do first?
Strangler: Well, I suggest we go to a nice, quiet, secluded location, uh, like behind an old dumpster or a dark alley...
SpongeBob: We could go to my house and turn off all the lights!
Strangler: Perfect. That way no one can hear you being strangled...err, I mean, uhh, protected. (laughs as the lights
grow dim) Perfect. (SpongeBob laughs until he turns the lights on again)
SpongeBob: Ah, but first I gotta do a few errands.
Strangler: Uhh, okay, but let's make it quick.
SpongeBob: Quick is my middle name! (scene cuts to the grocery store) Let's see...paper towels. This one says 'best paper
towel around' this one says 'best paper towel in town'. Hmm...in town...around...in town...around...what do you think,
bodyguard?
Strangler: Whatever gets us to your house quicker.
SpongeBob: I'll take both! (scene cuts to 'Dry Cleaning While-U-Wait')
Dry Cleaner: Here you go, Mr. SquarePants. (he hands him his clothes)
SpongeBob: Hmmm.
Dry Cleaner: Is there something wrong?
SpongeBob: I'm not sure if these are my pants. (scene cuts to the perfume store where SpongeBob sprays some perfume on
his wrist and holds it up to the Strangler) How about this one, bodyguard? Too overbearing?
Strangler: Can we just go to your house?! (scene cuts to SpongeBob’s house)
SpongeBob: Here we are, SquarePants Manor! Bodyguard, let me just take this opportunity to say you're the best bodyguard
a fella could hope to have.
Strangler: All right, enough of the sappy talk! Open the door so I can strangle you... I mean, uhh, choke you... I mean,
uhh, crush your windpipe...gah, I mean...
SpongeBob: Protect me?
Strangler: Thanks.
SpongeBob: Don't mention it, Strangler. (gasps) I mean, bodyguard. Now where'd I put my key?
Narrator: Twenty minutes later... (SpongeBob is still searching for his key)
SpongeBob: Well, I can't find 'em. You wanna take a look?
Strangler: Forget the key, let's climb through this window. (struggles reaching for the window) I can't reach it. Do you think you could hop up on my shoulders, kid?
(SpongeBob is wearing cleats)
SpongeBob: Sure! With these spiky cleats, anything is possible! (jumps onto the Strangler) Ya!
Strangler: Cleats? (SpongeBob's feet land in the Stranglers eyes. The Strangler screams) Get your feet out of my eye
sockets! (SpongeBob starts tugging at his legs)
SpongeBob: I'm trying, but my cleats are stuck in your corneas! (Strangler runs around in pain)
Narrator: Six hours later... (Strangler is still running around until he pulls SpongeBob’s feet out of his eyes. Scene
cuts to the Strangler with bandages on his eyes)
SpongeBob: Don't be mad, bodyguard. Let me just grab the key I keep under the mat and we can get inside. (Strangler has
an explosion come out of his head because he is so mad) There you are, you little rascal. Now, to put the key in the
lock, which should activate the tumblers, thus opening the door. (Strangler sneaks up behind SpongeBob ready to strangle
him. SpongeBob opens the door and walks in) Step inside...
Strangler: Close the door...
SpongeBob: (closes door) Well, here we are!
Strangler: I've finally got you all alone! (laugh evilly)
SpongeBob: I know, Isn't it great? (laughs. Strangler picks up SpongeBob) Ooh.
Strangler: Now you're gonna get yours...tattletale! (lights turn on)
All: Surprise! (all of SpongeBob's friends are in his house cheering. They drop a sign that says 'Congratulations,
SpongeBob! 100% On Time!')
SpongeBob: A surprise party to celebrate my perfect on-time percentage at work? Oh, how'd you guys know?
Patrick: It's on the invitations you sent us. (holds an invitation up) Let's boogie! (everyone parties. The Strangler
sits down in SpongeBob's chair. Scene cuts to the end of the party)
SpongeBob: Bye, everybody, thanks for coming! Bye Mr. Krabs, bye Plankton, bye Sandy, bye Larry, bye Pearl, bye Mrs. Puff, bye Squidward, bye eh the rest (everyone else leaves walks back into the house and laughs) Ahh, alone at last. (the Strangler wakes up)
Strangler: What? Huh? Huh? What? Huh? (SpongeBob closes the door) So, we're all alone now?
SpongeBob: Just you, me, and the floorboards. (Strangler and SpongeBob begin laughing again) Yeah. (there's a knock on
the door. SpongeBob opens it)
All: Happy birthday, SpongeBob!
SpongeBob: How did you guys know today is my birthday?
Patrick: We just do what the invitations say. Let's boogie some more! (everyone parties again. Scene cuts to end of party)
SpongeBob: Thanks for coming! (closes the door) Whoo! (laughs) Alone again.
Strangler: Is it true? Everybody's gone?
SpongeBob: Uh-huh.
Strangler: No more parties today? You got everything you need now? Everybody's left? We're completely alone?
SpongeBob: Oh yeah.
Strangler: In that case... (laughs evilly until Patrick appears out of nowhere)
Patrick: Great parties, huh?
Strangler: Oh...sorry, Tubby, you've gotta go.
SpongeBob: Wait! We can trust Patrick. He's my best friend.
Strangler: Well, I can't take any chances. For all we know, he could be the Strangler.
Patrick: I'm the Strangler? Oh, I should've known! I gotta turn myself in! (runs through the wall)
SpongeBob: So, Patrick's the Strangler. Gee, you think you know a guy.
Strangler: He's not the Strangler!
SpongeBob: He's not?
Strangler: (rips off his mustache) I am!!
SpongeBob: Hey, how'd you do that without shaving cream?
Strangler: Oh, it's a fake, you idiot! I bought it at the party store! (everyone comes back)
Squidward: Did someone say 'party'? (Strangler screams and runs out through the wall)
Strangler: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Strangler: I can't take it!
SpongeBob: (runs after him) Wait, bodyguard, I need protection! (Strangler gets into a taxi)
Strangler: Step on it! I'm being chased by a maniac! (SpongeBob chases after the taxi)
SpongeBob: I'm not safe! Come back! (taxi goes to the Bikini Bottom Airport and drives onto a plane)
Strangler: Finally, away from that guy.
SpongeBob: Good idea, bodyguard. He'll never find us up here. (Strangler screams then jumps out of the plane. He pulls
his parachute cord then notices it is actually SpongeBob) Good thinking, bodyguard. The Strangler could have been on that
plane. (Strangler takes out a pair of scissors and cuts the strings off the parachute and plummets right into the [[Bikini
Bottom Police Station Jail]]. SpongeBob comes running up to him) Bodyguard, bodyguard!
Strangler: Look, kid. I'm not your bodyguard. (cries) I'm the Strangler. See? (points to the 'WANTED' poster on the wall)
SpongeBob: (gasps) The Strangler! (police officers walk up)
Officer Nancy: Good work, SpongeBob. You put the Strangler behind bars.
Strangler: At least I'm safe from that yellow idiot. (Patrick is in the same cell as the Strangler)
Patrick: Hey, Mac, what're you in for?
