Episode Transcript: Sand Castles in the Sand

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Episode Article: [[Sandcastles in the Sand]]
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Episode Article: [[Sand Castles in the Sand (Episode)|Sand Castles in the Sand]]
  
 
==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[Spongebob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
*[[Squilliam Fancyson]]
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*[[Harold]]
*[[Nicholas Withers]]
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*[[Scooter]]
*Camera Man for Nicholas
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*[[Lifeguard]]
 +
*[[Bus Driver]]
 +
*Fish #1
 +
*Fish #2
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*Fish #3
 +
*Two Sand Griffins
  
 +
==Dialogue==
 +
(SpongeBob goes out of his house and knocks on Patrick's rock)
  
(Spongebob goes out of his house and knocking Patrick's house.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Get up, Patrick, it's time. (the rock opens when Patrick wakes up from his sleep)
  
Spongebob:Get up Patrick it's time.
+
'''Patrick''': Time for what? (SpongeBob jumps into Patrick's house)
  
(The rock opens then Patrick wake up from sleep)
+
'''SpongeBob''': The big shindig, remember?
  
Patrick:Time for what?
+
'''Patrick''': No. Besides, I don't really think my shins should be involved. (wiggling his foot) They're a bit flabby today.
  
(Spongebob jump into Patrick's house)
+
'''SpongeBob''': That's shindig, buddy. We're spending the day at the beach in the honor of our best friendship.
  
Spongebob:The big shindig ,remember?
+
'''Patrick''': The beach? Just you and me? (SpongeBob rips off his pants showing his swim trunks. Then Patrick tears off his skin, revealing his internal organs) So am I ready for the beach, SpongeBob?
  
Patrick:No.Besides,I don't really think shins should be involved.(Patrick wigging his feet)They a bit flabby today.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, sure. A little sunscreen and I'm sure you'll be fine. (bubble-wipe to outside where a bus stops. SpongeBob and Patrick lift a huge bag into the bus' door) I'm spending the whole day at the beach with my best friend. (puts the huge bag on a chair beside a fish. SpongeBob and Patrick both cram themselves on the same seat along with the fish)
  
Spongebob:Not shindig,buddy.We're spending at the beach for our bestest friendship.
+
'''Fish''': You're hurting me! (the bus moves. SpongeBob talks to Harold)
  
Patrick:The beach?Just yu and me?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Guess what?
  
(Spongebob wripping his pants and his beachpants shows.Then patrick wrips his skin and his inner skin shows)
+
'''Harold''': (worried) What?
  
Patrick:So am I ready for the beach,Spongebob?
+
'''SpongeBob''': (shouting) I'M GOING TO THE BEACH WITH MY BEST FRIEND!!! (taps on the shoulder of the bus driver) Oh, bus driver....
  
Spongebob:Oh,sure.A little sunscreen will be fine.
+
'''Bus Driver''': (crankily) What?!
  
(A bus stops.Spongebob and Patrick lift a huge bag into bus's door.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Okay. Out of everybody on this bus, guess which one is my best friend?
  
Spongebob:I'm spending at the beach the whole day with my best friend.
+
'''Bus Driver''': I don't care!
  
(Spongebob puts the huge bag on a chair beside a fish.Spongebob and Patrick sit on the chair but the fish is umcormfortable.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': You know what this situation calls for, Patrick? (takes out a keyboard guitar [keytar], and Patrick takes out an accordion) A few verses of "The Best Friend Tune!" (singing) Best friends-- (the bus stops. SpongeBob and Patrick are kicked off it. The bus moves from them) Hey, wait! This is not our stop! Oh, how are we going to get to the beach now, Patrick? We don't even know where we are.
  
Fish#1:You're hurting me!
+
'''Patrick''': I knew it! We've been abandoned!
  
(The bus moves.Spongebob talks to Harold.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': No! (they start crying) No, Patrick. No one is ever going to find us out here! (a ball hits SpongeBob's head)
  
Spongebob:Guess what?
+
'''Scooter''': A little help, bro?
  
Harold:Huh,what?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Look, Patrick. We made it. Hey, best friend... Check this out. (shows his butt and his pants appear to be sagging. Takes a frisbee [plastic disc] from his butt) It's a small plastic disc that you throw.
  
Spongebob:I'm going to the beach with my best friend!!!!(Spongebob shouts to Harold but he shocks.Then,Spongbob talks to the bus driver.)
+
'''Patrick''': Small plastic disc that you throw?! I love playing small plastic disc that you throw.
  
Spiongebob:Oh,bus driver....
+
'''SpongeBob''': I do too, buddy. If only small plastic disc that you throw had a shorter, catchier name.
  
Bus driver:What?!
+
'''Patrick''': Oh. Oh! How about small plastic disc that you ''toss''?
  
Spongebob:Okay.Everyone in this
+
'''SpongeBob''': Perfect! Now run along, Patrick and I'll ''toss'' it to ya! (Patrick runs and SpongeBob throws the frisbee) Ready? (Patrick keeps running to catch the frisbee. He steps on two people)
bus.Guess which one is my best friend.
+
  
Bus driver:I don't care!
+
'''Fish #2 and Fish #3''': Ouch! (Patrick steps in the sand and kicks sand in a guy's sandwich)
  
Spongebob:You know tis situation calls for,Patrick?(They both bring out their music instruments)A few verses of Best Friend Tune!(Spongebob sings)Oh,best friend...
+
'''Nat''': Ha, ha! That's why they call it a ''sand''wi... (Patrick spreads sand into Nat's mouth. Patrick keeps running to chase the frisbee but he almost runs into a pane of glass being carried by two workers. He crashes through an ice cream cart, and then into a lifeguard tower. When the lifeguard tower is destroyed, the frisbee lands in his hand)
  
(The bus stops.Spongebob and Patrick fall down from the bus.The bus moves from them.)
+
'''Patrick''': I caught it! Wasn't that cool, SpongeBob? (the lifeguard emerges from the rubble)
  
Spongebob:Hey,wait!This is not our stop!Oh,how we gonna get to the beach now,Patrick.We didn't know where we are.
+
'''Lifeguard''': I can assure you, that that was not cool! Just look at what you've done. Your buffoonery has destroyed the lifeguard tower! Why don't you find something to do that's less obnoxious?
  
Patrick:I know it.Theyy abonded
+
'''Patrick''': Like what?
  
Spongebob:No!(They start crying)No,Patrick.I don't want to stuck here.
+
'''Lifeguard''': I don't know. Go play in the sand or something.
  
(A ball hits Spongebob's head)
+
'''Patrick''': Well, I don't know. Playing with the sand sounds pretty boring.
  
Scooter:Little help bro?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Nonsense, Patrick. There are plenty of fun things to do in the sand. We can draw or practice our cursive writing or-
  
Spongebob:No,Patrick.We made it.Hey,best friend.. check this out. (Spongebob shows his butt but there's
+
'''Patrick''': Boring, SpongeBob, boring.
a hip on it.Spongebob take plastic disc from his butt.)It's a small plastic disc that you throw.
+
  
Patrick:Small plastic disc that you throw?!I want playing small plastic disc that you throw.
+
'''SpongeBob''': I know, we can made sand castles.
  
Spongebob:I do to,buddy.If only small plastic disc that you throw have a shorter catcher name.
+
'''Patrick''': That sounds ''un''boring. (hits his arm to SpongeBob)
  
Patrick:Oh.Oh!how about,small plastic disc that you "toss"
+
'''SpongeBob''': No one's ever been annoyed by a sand castle. (laughs. Bubble-wipe to sometime later) Nothing quite like the joy of sand castling. (he is building a sand castle. Talks to the man he has drawn in a window of his castle) Eh, buddy? How you doing over there?
  
Spongebob:Perfect!Run along Patrick and I'll "toss" it to ya!(Patrick runs and spongebob throw  the plastic disc)Ready?
+
'''Patrick''': Everything's dandy in Patrick's Kingdom. (starts building a "sand castle". Then he stops when SpongeBob talks)
  
(Patrick keep running catching the plastic disc until he didn't realise that he step on two fish.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, a structure like that can't protect a king and his subjects. Here let me help you. First, you should start all over. (starts building sand castle but stops when Patrick talks)
  
Fish#2 and Fish#3 :Ouch!!
+
'''Patrick''': What are you doing? You destroyed my castle!
  
(Patrick steps the sand but the sand spread to someone's sandwich)
+
'''SpongeBob''': I'm just trying to help, buddy.
  
Nat:Now thats why they call a "sand"wi..(Patrick spreads into Nat's mouth)
+
'''Patrick''': I don't need any help. (Billy comes)
  
(Patrick kepp running to chase the plastic disc but he didn't realise that he almost hit two fishes lifting a mirror,but he destroys an ice-cream parlor and the life guard tower.When the life guard tower is destroyed he got the plastic disc. )
+
'''Billy''': Here are those architectural plans you requested.
  
Patrick:I got it!Wasn't that cool,Spongebob?
+
'''Patrick''': Why, thank you. Here's a little something for you. (gives sand money to Billy. The sand breaks)
  
Life guard:I can assure you that was not cool.Just look at what you've done.Your fafoonering are destroyed the life guard tower!Can you find less annochess.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Well I suppose I should just tend to the affairs of my own realm. And I'll start by making a queen to rule by your side. (what appears to be a rock hits the castle and it collapses)
  
Patrick:Like what?
+
'''Patrick''': Now, we're even.
  
Life guard:I don't know.Go play in the sand or something.
+
'''SpongeBob''': All right, Patrick. Have it your way. (draws a line in the sand separating the two of them) You keep to your territory and I'll keep to mine. (builds a new sand castle fast. The sand castle resembles a typical castle. Patrick looks at his blueprints and throws it away)
  
Patrick:I don't know.Playing with the snd sounds.. pretty boring.
+
'''Patrick''': Now, this'll show SpongeBob that he's not the only one who can build a castle! (builds a new sand castle fast. His sand castle is essentially a fortress with pointy spike-like arrows on the roof) Let see SpongeBob destroy ''this'' castle.
  
Spongebob:Nonsense,Patrick.There are plenty of fun things to do in the sand.We can draw or practise our cursing right king or..
+
'''SpongeBob''': I better build a wall just in case King ''Pinky'' gets any funny ideas. (cut to the castle, with a wall surrounding it. Builds the last part of the wall but then notices that Patrick's castle is over the borderline) Oh, sir. You built onto my side.
  
Patrick:Boring,Spongebob.Boring.
+
'''Patrick''': So?
  
Spongebob:I know,we can made sandcastles.
+
'''SpongeBob''': So you don't do that! (chops off the portion of Patrick's castle that is crossing) There. That restores the integrity of our shared border.
  
Patrick:That's sounds unboring.(Patrick hits his arm to Spongebob.)
+
'''Patrick''': You tyrant! You've done it again! (builds a hammer out of sand) I'll show you what for.
  
Spongebob:No one ever got annoyed by a sand castle.(He laughs)
+
'''SpongeBob''': But what for what?! (Patrick charges toward SpongeBob's castle and destroys it using the hammer)  
  
Spongebob:Nothing quite like to joy of sandcastling.(He is building a sandcastle. talks to a fish that fish he made on the window)Ain't that right,buddy.How you doing over there?
+
'''Patrick''': Now we're even. Again!
  
Patrick:Everything standy in Patrick's Kingdom.(He starts building sandcastle.Then stopped when spongebob talks.)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Okay, Patrick. I can accept that. No more destruction from this point forward, okay? Okay, back to square one again. (builds a ''huge'' sand castle that resembles a real castle, including a window near the top and two sand griffins. Looks at Patrick building a sand castle using a telescope. Patrick finishes his castle)
  
Spongebob:a structure like that will not protect the king and the subjects.Here let me help you.You should start all over(he starts building sandcastle but stops when parick talks)
+
'''Patrick''': A-ha! (stands on the top of his huge sand castle, a bigger fortress with many pointy arrows while SpongeBob looks surprised. Bubble-wipe to later in the day. SpongeBob plays a sand trumpet)
  
Patrick :What are you doing?You're deatroying my castle.
+
'''SpongeBob''': I hereby propose a non-aggression treaty to end hostilities between our two kingdoms. (gives Patrick a sand feather and a sand board to sign. Patrick signs it) Patrick, by signing this historic armistice, you have brought peace to our lands. May your kingdom prosper. (walks into his door) Well that went well-- (a sand arrow hits his wall) What are you doing? What about the treaty?
  
Spongebob:I just want to help,buddy.
+
'''Patrick''': (holds up the sand board) This treaty isn't worth the sand it's printed on! (the sand board disintegrates)
  
Patrick:I don't need any help.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, is that so? Well if you think you can take down this castle, my answer is: Bring it on! (Patrick laughs. He builds a horse and knight army and SpongeBob stands shocked)
  
(A fish came)
+
'''SpongeBob''': (coughs) Patrick, I'm trying to be the nice guy here. Let's call this silly business off.
Billy:For the architect your pleasure with questions.
+
  
Patrick:Why Thank you.Here's a little something for you(Patrick gives sandmoneys to Billy.But the sand breakes)
+
'''Patrick''': No way! You started it!
  
Spongebob:I'll suppose I just attend affairs with my own briem.And I'll start making a queen to rule by your side.(A sandball destroys the castle)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Fine! Have it your way. (walks away)
  
Patrick:Now, were even.
+
'''Patrick''': (chuckles to himself) Whatever... (gasps. Notices SpongeBob with a sand catapult filled with sand boulders, holding a sand axe. A rope is on the catapult) No, no, no, no. (SpongeBob cuts the rope with his axe, releasing the sand rocks. Screams as the sand rocks hurl toward him, destroying his army while he runs into his castle. SpongeBob laughs and blows a sand horn to call his own army. Four members of the army run towards Patrick's castle. SpongeBob's army starts to ram down the door to Patrick's castle while Patrick is building something. SpongeBob's army breaks the door but Patrick had already made a sand cannon) Oh, hello. And goodbye. (the cannon launches a "sandball" that chases SpongeBob's army. They retreat into SpongeBob's castle)
  
Spongebob:All,right Patrick.Have it your way.(He make a line between Patrick's and his)You keep your territory and I'll keep mine.(He builds his sandcastle fast)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Come on! (the sandball stops and looks both ways) How do you like them apples? (the sandball goes over into the castle and destroys the army like bowling pins)
  
(Patrick looks a giant paper and throw it away)
+
'''Patrick''': (laughing) You'll never win! Do you hear me?! (SpongeBob puts his thumb on a scanner, entering a high-tech planning room in his castle. Then he talks to a sand general)
  
Patrick:This will show Spongebob he's not the only one who can build a castle.(He builds his sandcastle fast.)Let see Spongebob destroy this castle.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Uhm. Uhm. Well put general! We'll create a surprise military diversion and break through enemy lines. What say you? (sand constructed general starts to fall apart) Yes! We'll ready ourselves immediately! (makes something from sand. Cut to outside the castle. The door drops. A tank smashes through SpongeBob's castle) How do you like me now? (a Optimus Prime-like robot smashes through Patrick's castle)
  
Spongebob:I'll better build a wall just in case King "Pinky" get any funny ideas.(He builds the wall fast and realise that Patrick's castle is more in the line.)Oh, sir. You build it on my side.
+
'''Patrick''': I like you this much! (the robot walks towards SpongeBob's tank and lifts it up)
  
Patrick:So?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Woah! (Patrick's robot tries to punch the tank)
  
Spongebob:So you don't do that!(He cuts Patrick's castle according the line)There.That restrores the enterpity of our share borders.
+
'''Patrick''': Feel me!
  
Patrick:You tirent!You do it again (He takes a sandball and makes it a small hammer)I'll show you what for.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Woah--No! (presses a button that activates the tank's cannon. The tank blasts the robot's head. The robot collapses as if it exploded. SpongeBob goes out from his tank and goes to the robot's head)
  
Spongebob:But for what?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick? Patrick, are you okay?!
  
(Patrick run pass through the line and destroys spongebob's castle using the hammer.)  
+
'''Patrick''': The question is... will you be?! (punches a button and the robot head flies while SpongeBob hangs on. SpongeBob's hand slips off and he falls from the robot head. He screams, but pulls out a sand cord that deploys a sand parachute, and he laughs) No fair!
  
Patrick:Now we're even.Again!
+
'''SpongeBob''': All is fair in love and war my friend-slash-enemy, or should I say, my friend-enemy?! (pushes a button on a sand remote, and a sand jet flies in. Safely lands on his sand jet and the jet chases the robot head. The jet targets) Let's have some real fun! (pushes a button and missiles shoot towards Patrick's head robot. Patrick screams and tries to avoid the missiles but they're still following it)
  
Spongebob:Okay,Patrick.I can exept that.No more destruction point moving forward,okay?Okay,back to the square one again.(He go back make a huge sandcastle like a real castle.He looks Patrick building a sand castle using a telescope.Patrick finishes his castle.)
+
'''Scooter''': What was that? Come on, we gotta get out of here. (takes his girlfriend and runs away)
  
Patrick:Ahah!(He stand on the top of  his huge sandcastle with many pointy arrows.)
+
'''Unknown Man''': Grab the children! (everybody at the beach runs from the beach)
  
(Spongebob plays a sandtrumpet)
+
'''Patrick''': Oh, yeah? Two can play at this game! (pushes a button. Missiles come out from the sand and launch two fish away. The missiles fly and destroy SpongeBob's missiles. Then the missiles fly towards the jet. SpongeBob manages to attract the missiles to Patrick's castle, which they destroy. SpongeBob laughs) I wasn't going to do this. But you've left me no choice. (the robot head drops an atomic bomb on SpongeBob's castle. One of the sand griffins screams)
  
Spongebob:I here by purpose announce an treedy hostility between our two kingdoms.(He give Patrick a sandfeather and a sandborder to sign.Ptrick signs it.)Patrick.By signing this historic armourcist you has brought peace on our land.May your kingdom prospher.(He walks into his door)That went well.(An arrow hits his wall)What are you doing? What about the treedy?
+
'''Sand Griffin''': Let's beat it, dude! (flies away with the other griffin as the bomb explodes. Patrick laughs and SpongeBob's jet flies toward the robot head. Then, the jet and the robot head collide. SpongeBob and Patrick are hurt hard)
  
Patrick:this treedy is worthless sand that it printed on.(The sandborder dissapears) 
+
'''Patrick''': Uhh, what happened?
+
  
 +
'''SpongeBob''': I'll tell you what happened, Patrick. I got carried away.
  
 +
'''Patrick''': Me too. Was it worth it?
  
 +
'''SpongeBob''': No, no, it wasn't. What started out as a fun dream turned into a horrible, brutal, nightmare. As the winds of time changed the silvery sands of these dunes to a new landscape, so let us hope that our own winds of change will change our spiritual dunes to a landscape of peace. Oh buddy, let's never forget this lesson. (he and Patrick hug)
  
 +
'''Lifeguard''': Let's also not forget who's gonna clean this place up. (Spongebob and Patrick make disgusted noises. The lifeguard shows SpongeBob and Patrick a broom and a dustpan) Better get started. (SpongeBob grabs the broom while Patrick grabs the dustpan) You've got a lot of work to do. 
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick''': (looks at SpongeBob, looking at Patrick as he smiles) I bet I can clean up faster than you!
  
 +
'''SpongeBob''': Oh yeah? I bet you can't!
  
 +
'''Patrick''': (sweeps the sand with his hand) Yes, I can!
  
 +
'''SpongeBob''': (sweeps the sand with his broom) No, I can! (he and Patrick fight until the episode ends)
  
 
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{{Transcripts/Season 6 Ver. 2}}
 
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{{Transcripts/Season 7}}
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[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 7]]
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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
 
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{{Slogan}}
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Latest revision as of 02:52, 26 September 2024

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Toy Store of Doom Shell Shocked

Episode Article: Sand Castles in the Sand

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(SpongeBob goes out of his house and knocks on Patrick's rock)

SpongeBob: Get up, Patrick, it's time. (the rock opens when Patrick wakes up from his sleep)

Patrick: Time for what? (SpongeBob jumps into Patrick's house)

SpongeBob: The big shindig, remember?

Patrick: No. Besides, I don't really think my shins should be involved. (wiggling his foot) They're a bit flabby today.

SpongeBob: That's shindig, buddy. We're spending the day at the beach in the honor of our best friendship.

Patrick: The beach? Just you and me? (SpongeBob rips off his pants showing his swim trunks. Then Patrick tears off his skin, revealing his internal organs) So am I ready for the beach, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: Oh, sure. A little sunscreen and I'm sure you'll be fine. (bubble-wipe to outside where a bus stops. SpongeBob and Patrick lift a huge bag into the bus' door) I'm spending the whole day at the beach with my best friend. (puts the huge bag on a chair beside a fish. SpongeBob and Patrick both cram themselves on the same seat along with the fish)

Fish: You're hurting me! (the bus moves. SpongeBob talks to Harold)

SpongeBob: Guess what?

Harold: (worried) What?

SpongeBob: (shouting) I'M GOING TO THE BEACH WITH MY BEST FRIEND!!! (taps on the shoulder of the bus driver) Oh, bus driver....

Bus Driver: (crankily) What?!

SpongeBob: Okay. Out of everybody on this bus, guess which one is my best friend?

Bus Driver: I don't care!

SpongeBob: You know what this situation calls for, Patrick? (takes out a keyboard guitar [keytar], and Patrick takes out an accordion) A few verses of "The Best Friend Tune!" (singing) Best friends-- (the bus stops. SpongeBob and Patrick are kicked off it. The bus moves from them) Hey, wait! This is not our stop! Oh, how are we going to get to the beach now, Patrick? We don't even know where we are.

Patrick: I knew it! We've been abandoned!

SpongeBob: No! (they start crying) No, Patrick. No one is ever going to find us out here! (a ball hits SpongeBob's head)

Scooter: A little help, bro?

SpongeBob: Look, Patrick. We made it. Hey, best friend... Check this out. (shows his butt and his pants appear to be sagging. Takes a frisbee [plastic disc] from his butt) It's a small plastic disc that you throw.

Patrick: Small plastic disc that you throw?! I love playing small plastic disc that you throw.

SpongeBob: I do too, buddy. If only small plastic disc that you throw had a shorter, catchier name.

Patrick: Oh. Oh! How about small plastic disc that you toss?

SpongeBob: Perfect! Now run along, Patrick and I'll toss it to ya! (Patrick runs and SpongeBob throws the frisbee) Ready? (Patrick keeps running to catch the frisbee. He steps on two people)

Fish #2 and Fish #3: Ouch! (Patrick steps in the sand and kicks sand in a guy's sandwich)

Nat: Ha, ha! That's why they call it a sandwi... (Patrick spreads sand into Nat's mouth. Patrick keeps running to chase the frisbee but he almost runs into a pane of glass being carried by two workers. He crashes through an ice cream cart, and then into a lifeguard tower. When the lifeguard tower is destroyed, the frisbee lands in his hand)

Patrick: I caught it! Wasn't that cool, SpongeBob? (the lifeguard emerges from the rubble)

Lifeguard: I can assure you, that that was not cool! Just look at what you've done. Your buffoonery has destroyed the lifeguard tower! Why don't you find something to do that's less obnoxious?

Patrick: Like what?

Lifeguard: I don't know. Go play in the sand or something.

Patrick: Well, I don't know. Playing with the sand sounds pretty boring.

SpongeBob: Nonsense, Patrick. There are plenty of fun things to do in the sand. We can draw or practice our cursive writing or-

Patrick: Boring, SpongeBob, boring.

SpongeBob: I know, we can made sand castles.

Patrick: That sounds unboring. (hits his arm to SpongeBob)

SpongeBob: No one's ever been annoyed by a sand castle. (laughs. Bubble-wipe to sometime later) Nothing quite like the joy of sand castling. (he is building a sand castle. Talks to the man he has drawn in a window of his castle) Eh, buddy? How you doing over there?

Patrick: Everything's dandy in Patrick's Kingdom. (starts building a "sand castle". Then he stops when SpongeBob talks)

SpongeBob: Oh, a structure like that can't protect a king and his subjects. Here let me help you. First, you should start all over. (starts building sand castle but stops when Patrick talks)

Patrick: What are you doing? You destroyed my castle!

SpongeBob: I'm just trying to help, buddy.

Patrick: I don't need any help. (Billy comes)

Billy: Here are those architectural plans you requested.

Patrick: Why, thank you. Here's a little something for you. (gives sand money to Billy. The sand breaks)

SpongeBob: Well I suppose I should just tend to the affairs of my own realm. And I'll start by making a queen to rule by your side. (what appears to be a rock hits the castle and it collapses)

Patrick: Now, we're even.

SpongeBob: All right, Patrick. Have it your way. (draws a line in the sand separating the two of them) You keep to your territory and I'll keep to mine. (builds a new sand castle fast. The sand castle resembles a typical castle. Patrick looks at his blueprints and throws it away)

Patrick: Now, this'll show SpongeBob that he's not the only one who can build a castle! (builds a new sand castle fast. His sand castle is essentially a fortress with pointy spike-like arrows on the roof) Let see SpongeBob destroy this castle.

SpongeBob: I better build a wall just in case King Pinky gets any funny ideas. (cut to the castle, with a wall surrounding it. Builds the last part of the wall but then notices that Patrick's castle is over the borderline) Oh, sir. You built onto my side.

Patrick: So?

SpongeBob: So you don't do that! (chops off the portion of Patrick's castle that is crossing) There. That restores the integrity of our shared border.

Patrick: You tyrant! You've done it again! (builds a hammer out of sand) I'll show you what for.

SpongeBob: But what for what?! (Patrick charges toward SpongeBob's castle and destroys it using the hammer)

Patrick: Now we're even. Again!

SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick. I can accept that. No more destruction from this point forward, okay? Okay, back to square one again. (builds a huge sand castle that resembles a real castle, including a window near the top and two sand griffins. Looks at Patrick building a sand castle using a telescope. Patrick finishes his castle)

Patrick: A-ha! (stands on the top of his huge sand castle, a bigger fortress with many pointy arrows while SpongeBob looks surprised. Bubble-wipe to later in the day. SpongeBob plays a sand trumpet)

SpongeBob: I hereby propose a non-aggression treaty to end hostilities between our two kingdoms. (gives Patrick a sand feather and a sand board to sign. Patrick signs it) Patrick, by signing this historic armistice, you have brought peace to our lands. May your kingdom prosper. (walks into his door) Well that went well-- (a sand arrow hits his wall) What are you doing? What about the treaty?

Patrick: (holds up the sand board) This treaty isn't worth the sand it's printed on! (the sand board disintegrates)

SpongeBob: Oh, is that so? Well if you think you can take down this castle, my answer is: Bring it on! (Patrick laughs. He builds a horse and knight army and SpongeBob stands shocked)

SpongeBob: (coughs) Patrick, I'm trying to be the nice guy here. Let's call this silly business off.

Patrick: No way! You started it!

SpongeBob: Fine! Have it your way. (walks away)

Patrick: (chuckles to himself) Whatever... (gasps. Notices SpongeBob with a sand catapult filled with sand boulders, holding a sand axe. A rope is on the catapult) No, no, no, no. (SpongeBob cuts the rope with his axe, releasing the sand rocks. Screams as the sand rocks hurl toward him, destroying his army while he runs into his castle. SpongeBob laughs and blows a sand horn to call his own army. Four members of the army run towards Patrick's castle. SpongeBob's army starts to ram down the door to Patrick's castle while Patrick is building something. SpongeBob's army breaks the door but Patrick had already made a sand cannon) Oh, hello. And goodbye. (the cannon launches a "sandball" that chases SpongeBob's army. They retreat into SpongeBob's castle)

SpongeBob: Come on! (the sandball stops and looks both ways) How do you like them apples? (the sandball goes over into the castle and destroys the army like bowling pins)

Patrick: (laughing) You'll never win! Do you hear me?! (SpongeBob puts his thumb on a scanner, entering a high-tech planning room in his castle. Then he talks to a sand general)

SpongeBob: Uhm. Uhm. Well put general! We'll create a surprise military diversion and break through enemy lines. What say you? (sand constructed general starts to fall apart) Yes! We'll ready ourselves immediately! (makes something from sand. Cut to outside the castle. The door drops. A tank smashes through SpongeBob's castle) How do you like me now? (a Optimus Prime-like robot smashes through Patrick's castle)

Patrick: I like you this much! (the robot walks towards SpongeBob's tank and lifts it up)

SpongeBob: Woah! (Patrick's robot tries to punch the tank)

Patrick: Feel me!

SpongeBob: Woah--No! (presses a button that activates the tank's cannon. The tank blasts the robot's head. The robot collapses as if it exploded. SpongeBob goes out from his tank and goes to the robot's head)

SpongeBob: Patrick? Patrick, are you okay?!

Patrick: The question is... will you be?! (punches a button and the robot head flies while SpongeBob hangs on. SpongeBob's hand slips off and he falls from the robot head. He screams, but pulls out a sand cord that deploys a sand parachute, and he laughs) No fair!

SpongeBob: All is fair in love and war my friend-slash-enemy, or should I say, my friend-enemy?! (pushes a button on a sand remote, and a sand jet flies in. Safely lands on his sand jet and the jet chases the robot head. The jet targets) Let's have some real fun! (pushes a button and missiles shoot towards Patrick's head robot. Patrick screams and tries to avoid the missiles but they're still following it)

Scooter: What was that? Come on, we gotta get out of here. (takes his girlfriend and runs away)

Unknown Man: Grab the children! (everybody at the beach runs from the beach)

Patrick: Oh, yeah? Two can play at this game! (pushes a button. Missiles come out from the sand and launch two fish away. The missiles fly and destroy SpongeBob's missiles. Then the missiles fly towards the jet. SpongeBob manages to attract the missiles to Patrick's castle, which they destroy. SpongeBob laughs) I wasn't going to do this. But you've left me no choice. (the robot head drops an atomic bomb on SpongeBob's castle. One of the sand griffins screams)

Sand Griffin: Let's beat it, dude! (flies away with the other griffin as the bomb explodes. Patrick laughs and SpongeBob's jet flies toward the robot head. Then, the jet and the robot head collide. SpongeBob and Patrick are hurt hard)

Patrick: Uhh, what happened?

SpongeBob: I'll tell you what happened, Patrick. I got carried away.

Patrick: Me too. Was it worth it?

SpongeBob: No, no, it wasn't. What started out as a fun dream turned into a horrible, brutal, nightmare. As the winds of time changed the silvery sands of these dunes to a new landscape, so let us hope that our own winds of change will change our spiritual dunes to a landscape of peace. Oh buddy, let's never forget this lesson. (he and Patrick hug)

Lifeguard: Let's also not forget who's gonna clean this place up. (Spongebob and Patrick make disgusted noises. The lifeguard shows SpongeBob and Patrick a broom and a dustpan) Better get started. (SpongeBob grabs the broom while Patrick grabs the dustpan) You've got a lot of work to do.

Patrick: (looks at SpongeBob, looking at Patrick as he smiles) I bet I can clean up faster than you!

SpongeBob: Oh yeah? I bet you can't!

Patrick: (sweeps the sand with his hand) Yes, I can!

SpongeBob: (sweeps the sand with his broom) No, I can! (he and Patrick fight until the episode ends)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
<< Season 5 SpongeBob SquarePants - Transcripts - Season 6 Season 7 >>
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