Episode Transcript: The Card

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
 
*[[Fred]]
 
*[[Fred]]
 
*[[Quincy]]
 
*[[Quincy]]
Line 18: Line 18:
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
 +
(episode begins at the bank)
  
Quincy: Next! Oh, no...
+
'''Quincy:''' Next! Oh, no...
  
SpongeBob:  Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?
  
Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you?
+
'''Quincy:''' SpongeBob... what can I do for you?
  
SpongeBob: The new Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' The new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.
  
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.
+
'''Quincy:''' Ugh. Let me see your bank book.
  
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)
  
Quincy: Nice... bunnies.
+
'''Quincy:''' Nice... bunnies.
  
SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering) I wanted the one with the kittens on it.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering) I wanted the one with the kittens on it.
  
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.
+
'''Quincy:''' Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.
  
SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaidman. It simply won't do.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaid Man. It simply won't do.
  
Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaidman, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)
+
'''Quincy:''' I don't think they go directly to Mermaid Man, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)
  
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.
  
Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?
+
'''Customer in line:''' Come on! Would ya hurry up?
  
Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know?
+
'''Customer with mask and money bag:''' Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know? (all customers are complaining)
  
All customers: (complaining)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaid Man. And I'm not leaving until I
 +
have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa! (the customers are now cheering. Bubble-wipe to Near Mint Comic Books)
  
SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaidman. And I'm not leaving until I
+
'''Patrick:''' One, two, three, four...
have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa!
+
  
All customers: (cheering)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading cards?
  
SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books.
+
'''Patrick:''' No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? Five? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...
  
Patrick: One, two, three, four...
+
'''SpongeBob:''' One pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards, please. (the comic book dealer gets a pack of cards) All right!
  
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading cards?
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' Not so fast! Where's my dollar?
  
Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? FIVE? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.
  
SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards, please.
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' Here you go, kid.
  
Comic book dealer: (gets a pack of cards)
+
'''Patrick:''' 17...
  
SpongeBob: All right!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaid Man's bubble-powered wheelchair from season 12! And Barnacle Boy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaid Man used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode 402! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.
  
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' (laughs) Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number 54.
  
SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.
+
'''Announcer:''' (over ''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy'' theme) ''Mermaid Man says...'' (fist swings by and hits Barnacle Boy, while Mermaid Man barely ducks out of the way)
  
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.
+
'''Mermaid Man:''' Buy more cards!
  
Patrick: Seventeen...
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' There are only five in existence.
  
SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaidman's bubble-powered wheelchair from season twelve! And Barnacleboy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaidman used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode four hundred two! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' How much is it? For this one?
  
Comic book dealer: Ha ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number fifty-four.
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.
  
Voice: Mermaidman says: (fist swings by and hits Barnacleboy, while Mermaidman barely ducks out of the way)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card 54!
  
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!
+
'''Patrick:''' 96, 97, 98, 99, 100! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?
  
Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No, it's just a number...
  
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?
+
'''Announcer:''' (over ''MM&BB'' theme) ''Mermaid Man says...'' (fist punches Barnacle Boy)
  
Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as
+
'''Mermaid Man:''' Buy more cards!
many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.
+
  
SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Number 54! That's the best card there is!
it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until
+
there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card fifty-four!
+
  
Patrick: Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?
+
'''Patrick:''' It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)
  
SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (screams) Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!
  
Voice: Mermaidman says:
+
'''Patrick:''' I'm preventing gingivitis.
  
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number 54 talking card! It's really valuable and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?
  
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! That's the best card there is!
+
'''Patrick:''' Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card. SpongeBob and Patrick run out of the store)
  
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand) Phew! Now watch where you're going!
  
SpongeBob: Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!
+
'''Patrick:''' Okay. Thanks, buddy.
  
Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) Ha, that was close.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable
+
'''Patrick:''' Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.
and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla
+
bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?
+
  
Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander aimlessly around like you've been...
  
They run out of the store.
+
'''Patrick:''' What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)
  
SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy would never
+
'''SpongeBob:''' The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into Goo Lagoon?
forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand)Phew! Now watch where you're going!
+
  
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.
+
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire)
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (screams, jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.
Ha, that was close.
+
  
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.
+
'''Patrick:''' Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. (pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander
+
'''SpongeBob:''' The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!
aimlessly around like you've been...
+
  
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)
+
'''Patrick:''' Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?
  
SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into
+
'''SpongeBob:''' You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession?
Goo Lagoon?
+
  
Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up.
+
'''Patrick:''' I'd give you my most valuable possession? (they hug)
Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire)
+
  
SpongeBob: AAHHH! (jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' You're the best pal ever.
  
Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope.
+
'''Patrick:''' I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?
(Pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.
+
  
SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Sure, pal. Anything for you.
  
Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in
+
'''Patrick:''' Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?
pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?
+
  
SpongeBob: You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Um, sure Patrick.
  
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (They hug.)
+
'''Patrick:''' Well, good. 'Cause my landlord changed the lock again.
  
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.
  
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?
+
'''Patrick:''' Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.
  
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe... that you shouldn't...
  
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?
+
'''Patrick:''' Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.
  
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!
  
Patrick: Well, good. Cuz' my landlord changed the lock again.
+
'''Patrick:''' Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick! The card! It's on fire!
  
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.
+
'''Patrick:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!
  
SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe... that you shouldn't...
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Ew. (bubble-wipe to that evening)
  
Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.
+
'''Patrick:''' (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card. SpongeBob is sitting at a sand table. He pulls a hamburger off of the card)
  
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!
+
'''Mermaid Man:''' ''More car.. dddd...''
  
Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with  
+
'''Patrick:''' (burps) Oh! That hit the spot. Pardon me. (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.
talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)
+
  
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!
+
'''Mermaid Man:''' (over warped music) ''Zzzbbb... more cards...'' (card blows up in SpongeBob's hand)
  
Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away. His eyes blow water out. The water harms Patrick)
  
SpongeBob: Ew.
+
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, what's wrong?
  
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy card number 54. The special talking one!
  
Mermaidman: Buy car.. dddd....
+
'''Patrick:''' Aw... sure you will.
  
Patrick: Burp! Oh! That hit the spot! Pardon me! (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack! So there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.
  
Mermaidman: Zzzbbb... Buy more cards... (card blows up)
+
'''Patrick:''' Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)
  
SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away)
+
'''Announcer:''' (over ''MM&BB'' theme) ''Mermaid Man says...'' (fist punches Barnacle Boy)
  
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?
+
'''Mermaid Man:''' Buy more cards!
  
SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaidman and Barnacleboy card #54. The special talking one.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (whispers) Number 54! Patrick, where did you get these?
  
Patrick: Aw... sure you will.
+
'''Patrick:''' Well, that pack I bought was filled with 'em.
  
SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack. So
+
'''SpongeBob:''' May I have one?
there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.
+
  
Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)
+
'''Patrick:''' They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.
  
Announcer: Mermaidman says... (fist punches Barnacleboy)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow!
  
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!
+
'''Patrick:''' Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out of my house again.
  
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! Patrick, where did you get these?
+
{{Transcripts/Season 6 Ver. 2}}
 
+
Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was full of 'em.
+
 
+
SpongeBob: May I have one?
+
 
+
Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Wow!
+
 
+
Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out again.
+
 
+
{{Transcripts/Season 6}}
+
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Transcript]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
 
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]
 
{{Slogan}}
 

Latest revision as of 23:31, 5 October 2024

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Krusty Krushers Dear Vikings

Episode Article: The Card

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(episode begins at the bank)

Quincy: Next! Oh, no...

SpongeBob: Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?

Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you?

SpongeBob: The new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.

Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.

SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)

Quincy: Nice... bunnies.

SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering) I wanted the one with the kittens on it.

Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.

SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaid Man. It simply won't do.

Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaid Man, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)

SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.

Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?

Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know? (all customers are complaining)

SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaid Man. And I'm not leaving until I have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa! (the customers are now cheering. Bubble-wipe to Near Mint Comic Books)

Patrick: One, two, three, four...

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading cards?

Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? Five? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...

SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards, please. (the comic book dealer gets a pack of cards) All right!

Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?

SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.

Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.

Patrick: 17...

SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaid Man's bubble-powered wheelchair from season 12! And Barnacle Boy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaid Man used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode 402! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.

Comic book dealer: (laughs) Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number 54.

Announcer: (over Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy theme) Mermaid Man says... (fist swings by and hits Barnacle Boy, while Mermaid Man barely ducks out of the way)

Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!

Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.

SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?

Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.

SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card 54!

Patrick: 96, 97, 98, 99, 100! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...

Announcer: (over MM&BB theme) Mermaid Man says... (fist punches Barnacle Boy)

Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!

SpongeBob: Number 54! That's the best card there is!

Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)

SpongeBob: (screams) Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!

Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.

SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number 54 talking card! It's really valuable and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?

Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card. SpongeBob and Patrick run out of the store)

SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand) Phew! Now watch where you're going!

Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.

SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) Ha, that was close.

Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.

SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander aimlessly around like you've been...

Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)

SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into Goo Lagoon?

Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire)

SpongeBob: (screams, jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.

Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. (pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.

SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!

Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?

SpongeBob: You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession?

Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (they hug)

SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.

Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?

SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.

Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?

SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.

Patrick: Well, good. 'Cause my landlord changed the lock again.

SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.

Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.

SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe... that you shouldn't...

Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.

SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!

Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)

SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!

Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!

SpongeBob: Ew. (bubble-wipe to that evening)

Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card. SpongeBob is sitting at a sand table. He pulls a hamburger off of the card)

Mermaid Man: More car.. dddd...

Patrick: (burps) Oh! That hit the spot. Pardon me. (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.

Mermaid Man: (over warped music) Zzzbbb... more cards... (card blows up in SpongeBob's hand)

SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away. His eyes blow water out. The water harms Patrick)

Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?

SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy card number 54. The special talking one!

Patrick: Aw... sure you will.

SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack! So there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.

Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)

Announcer: (over MM&BB theme) Mermaid Man says... (fist punches Barnacle Boy)

Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!

SpongeBob: (whispers) Number 54! Patrick, where did you get these?

Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was filled with 'em.

SpongeBob: May I have one?

Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.

SpongeBob: Wow!

Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out of my house again.


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
<< Season 5 SpongeBob SquarePants - Transcripts - Season 6 Season 7 >>
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