Episode Transcript: Krusty Krab Training Video

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
  
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants]]
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*[[SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick Star]]
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*[[Patrick]]
*[[Squidward Tentacles]]
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*[[Squidward]]
 
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
 
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
 
*[[Plankton]]
 
*[[Plankton]]
  
Narrator: Welcome aboard. If you’re watching this video, than let me be the first to say 'congratulations'! (a rainbow with the word 'congratulations' appears) You’ve recently been hired by the Krusty Krab restaurant. (a hat, a spatula, and a bucket appear in Spongebob's hands) And this is your first official day of training.<br>
+
Narrator: Welcome aboard. If you’re watching this video, than let me be the first to say 'congratulations'! (a rainbow with the word 'congratulations' appears) You’ve recently been hired by the Krusty Krab restaurant. (a hat, a spatula, and a bucket appear in SpongeBob’s hands) And this is your first official day of training.<br>
  
Spongebob: Can I make a Krabby Patty now?<br>
+
SpongeBob: Can I make a Krabby Patty now?<br>
  
 
Narrator: No, you’ve got a lot to learn before you’re ready to make a Krabby Patty. As you can see on this graph...  
 
Narrator: No, you’ve got a lot to learn before you’re ready to make a Krabby Patty. As you can see on this graph...  
 
(scene cuts to a giraffe. Narrator clears his throat) Graph. (a graph is shown. A Krusty Krab is moving up) You are now  
 
(scene cuts to a giraffe. Narrator clears his throat) Graph. (a graph is shown. A Krusty Krab is moving up) You are now  
 
employed by one of the most successful restaurants in Bikini Bottom. But it didn’t get that way over night... (its  
 
employed by one of the most successful restaurants in Bikini Bottom. But it didn’t get that way over night... (its  
nighttime) because the store closes at 6:00. (scene cuts to picture of Mr Krabs smiling with the Krusty Krab behind him)  
+
nighttime) because the store closes at 6:00. (scene cuts to picture of Mr. Krabs smiling with the Krusty Krab behind him)  
 
No, the story of the Krusty Krab is the story of one man’s hard work, perseverance, vision, determination and sweat.  
 
No, the story of the Krusty Krab is the story of one man’s hard work, perseverance, vision, determination and sweat.  
(scene zooms in to one of Mr Krabs' armpits) But mostly his sweat. (scene cuts to a Krabby Patty sliding across the  
+
(scene zooms in to one of Mr. Krabs' armpits) But mostly his sweat. (scene cuts to a Krabby Patty sliding across the  
screen) From humble beginnings. (scene cuts to black and white picture of Mr Krabs as a child, walking up to a coke  
+
screen) From humble beginnings. (scene cuts to black and white picture of Mr. Krabs as a child, walking up to a coke  
machine) You may think that Mr Eugene H. Krabs, owner and founder of Krusty Krab Inc., has always been the financial  
+
machine) You may think that Mr. Eugene H. Krabs, owner and founder of Krusty Krab Inc., has always been the financial  
wizard he is today. (Mr Krabs puts in one of his quarters then takes it out as its attacked to a piece of rope with a  
+
wizard he is today. (Mr. Krabs puts in one of his quarters then takes it out as its attacked to a piece of rope with a  
hole in the quarter) And you’re right. (Mr Krabs laughs while drinking his soda. Scene cuts to an older Mr Krabs, in a  
+
hole in the quarter) And you’re right. (Mr. Krabs laughs while drinking his soda. Scene cuts to an older Mr. Krabs, in a  
 
room with bars at the window) After the war, Krabs stayed secluded in a deep depression that seemed endless. (scene cuts  
 
room with bars at the window) After the war, Krabs stayed secluded in a deep depression that seemed endless. (scene cuts  
 
to the Krusty Krab, now a retirement home with elderly fish outside playing shuffleboard) But then his luck changed when  
 
to the Krusty Krab, now a retirement home with elderly fish outside playing shuffleboard) But then his luck changed when  
he acquired a bankrupt retirement home and with a few minor alterations, the Krusty Krab was born. (Mr Krabs paints a  
+
he acquired a bankrupt retirement home and with a few minor alterations, the Krusty Krab was born. (Mr. Krabs paints a  
 
giant K, in red paint, on a sign outside. Scene cuts to a krabby patty with a light shining on it. We can hear some sort  
 
giant K, in red paint, on a sign outside. Scene cuts to a krabby patty with a light shining on it. We can hear some sort  
 
of crying in the background)<br>
 
of crying in the background)<br>
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customers, no expense has been spared to acquire all the latest achievements in fast-food technology.<br>
 
customers, no expense has been spared to acquire all the latest achievements in fast-food technology.<br>
  
Mr Krabs: (holds up a spatula in his left hand) This here’s an advanced patty-control mechanism. (now standing at the  
+
Mr. Krabs: (holds up a spatula in his left hand) This here’s an advanced patty-control mechanism. (now standing at the  
 
register) Here you can see our automated money-handling system. Don’t touch! (now holding ice cubes) These are high-
 
register) Here you can see our automated money-handling system. Don’t touch! (now holding ice cubes) These are high-
 
quality beverage temperature devices. Imported. (holds up a straw) This here’s a prototype liquid transfer machine. (puts  
 
quality beverage temperature devices. Imported. (holds up a straw) This here’s a prototype liquid transfer machine. (puts  
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the-art condiment-dispersal units. Now, are you gonna buy something or just stand there cause there’s a standing fee.<br>
 
the-art condiment-dispersal units. Now, are you gonna buy something or just stand there cause there’s a standing fee.<br>
  
Narrator: (Spongebob is standing there when a packet of ketchup, ice cubes, a cash register, a spatula, and a straw  
+
Narrator: (SpongeBob is standing there when a packet of ketchup, ice cubes, a cash register, a spatula, and a straw  
 
appear around him) All of this modernization seems a little overwhelming, doesn’t it? (the items spin around him) Well  
 
appear around him) All of this modernization seems a little overwhelming, doesn’t it? (the items spin around him) Well  
luckily for you, Mr Krabs' fear of robot overlords keeps the balance of technology in check. (items disappear and  
+
luckily for you, Mr. Krabs' fear of robot overlords keeps the balance of technology in check. (items disappear and  
Spongebob floats to the right. The scene changes to Spongebob standing next to Squidward near the cash register) But if  
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SpongeBob floats to the right. The scene changes to SpongeBob standing next to Squidward near the cash register) But if  
modernization is the heart of the Krusty Krab, than employees are the liver and gall bladder. (close-up of Spongebob)  
+
modernization is the heart of the Krusty Krab, than employees are the liver and gall bladder. (close-up of SpongeBob)  
 
Let’s see if you got what it takes. Hmmm, poised, confidant, and a smile that says, "Hello world! May I take your order?"  
 
Let’s see if you got what it takes. Hmmm, poised, confidant, and a smile that says, "Hello world! May I take your order?"  
You’ve got the makings of a good employee, Mr Squarepants! But for every good employee, there is one who is not so good.  
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You’ve got the makings of a good employee, Mr. SquarePants! But for every good employee, there is one who is not so good.  
 
(close-up of Squidward reading his magazine) Let’s see, inattentive, impatient, a glazed look in the eyes. (close-up of  
 
(close-up of Squidward reading his magazine) Let’s see, inattentive, impatient, a glazed look in the eyes. (close-up of  
 
the button Squidward is wearing on his shirt) Look carefully at the "I Really Wish I Weren’t Here Right Now!" button.  
 
the button Squidward is wearing on his shirt) Look carefully at the "I Really Wish I Weren’t Here Right Now!" button.  
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Squidward: I’m getting paid overtime for this, right Mr. Krabs?<br>
 
Squidward: I’m getting paid overtime for this, right Mr. Krabs?<br>
  
Mr Krabs: (in his office) Sorry, can’t hear you! (scene cuts to a krabby patty sliding across the screen again)<br>
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Mr. Krabs: (in his office) Sorry, can’t hear you! (scene cuts to a krabby patty sliding across the screen again)<br>
  
 
Narrator: Training.<br>
 
Narrator: Training.<br>
  
Spongebob: Does this mean I get to make a Krabby Patty now?<br>
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SpongeBob: Does this mean I get to make a Krabby Patty now?<br>
  
 
Narrator: Oh you can’t make a Krabby Patty without understanding the phrase 'POOP'.<br>
 
Narrator: Oh you can’t make a Krabby Patty without understanding the phrase 'POOP'.<br>
  
Spongebob: POOP?<br>
+
SpongeBob: POOP?<br>
  
Narrator: Once you understand 'POOP', you’ll understand your place at the Krusty Krab. But what is POOP mean? (Spongebob
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Narrator: Once you understand 'POOP', you’ll understand your place at the Krusty Krab. But what is POOP mean? (SpongeBob
 
shrugs his shoulders) It’s actually a carefully organized code. Watch closely. People Order Our Patties.<br>
 
shrugs his shoulders) It’s actually a carefully organized code. Watch closely. People Order Our Patties.<br>
  
Spongebob: Oh, POOP! (smiles with confidence)<br>
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SpongeBob: Oh, POOP! (smiles with confidence)<br>
  
Narrator: Looks like Mr Squarepants understands 'POOP'! (scene cuts to a customer walking up to Squidward) Here’s a  
+
Narrator: Looks like Mr. SquarePants understands 'POOP'! (scene cuts to a customer walking up to Squidward) Here’s a  
 
typical customer. I wonder what he wants. Well, if we just remember POOP, we can figure it out.<br>
 
typical customer. I wonder what he wants. Well, if we just remember POOP, we can figure it out.<br>
  
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think you’re ready to make a Krabby Patty.<br>
 
think you’re ready to make a Krabby Patty.<br>
  
Spongebob: Krabby Patty! (panting towards the krabby patty but once he gets too close, he gets splat on the screen with a  
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SpongeBob: Krabby Patty! (panting towards the krabby patty but once he gets too close, he gets splat on the screen with a  
 
flyswatter)<br>
 
flyswatter)<br>
  
 
Narrator: Ha-ha -- not so fast, Eager McBeaver. We haven’t even talked about: (scene cuts to a toilet) Personal Hygiene.  
 
Narrator: Ha-ha -- not so fast, Eager McBeaver. We haven’t even talked about: (scene cuts to a toilet) Personal Hygiene.  
(toilet flushes. Scene cuts to Spongebob in front of a sink) Every employee at the Krusty Krab must comply with a strict  
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(toilet flushes. Scene cuts to SpongeBob in front of a sink) Every employee at the Krusty Krab must comply with a strict  
set of personal hygiene guidelines. (Spongebob turns the faucet on) Ok, Mr Squarepants, are you ready to prepare for your  
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set of personal hygiene guidelines. (SpongeBob turns the faucet on) Ok, Mr. SquarePants, are you ready to prepare for your  
shift? (Spongebob lathers his hands with soap) A good employee always scrubs his hand thoroughly. Be sure to get under  
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shift? (SpongeBob lathers his hands with soap) A good employee always scrubs his hand thoroughly. Be sure to get under  
those fingernails. (Spongebob nods and scrubs a bit harder) And don’t forget about the knuckles. (Spongebob scrubs a bit  
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those fingernails. (SpongeBob nods and scrubs a bit harder) And don’t forget about the knuckles. (SpongeBob scrubs a bit  
harder) And make sure those palms are squeaky clean. (Spongebob scrubs the hardest he can) All right, let’s see those  
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harder) And make sure those palms are squeaky clean. (SpongeBob scrubs the hardest he can) All right, let’s see those  
 
hands. (holds up his hands but they are invisible from scrubbing so much) Now that’s thorough! (chuckles. Scene cuts to  
 
hands. (holds up his hands but they are invisible from scrubbing so much) Now that’s thorough! (chuckles. Scene cuts to  
Spongebob’s shiny shoes) After checking to see your feet are polished, (sprays and wipes his shoes) your face is clear of  
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SpongeBob’s shiny shoes) After checking to see your feet are polished, (sprays and wipes his shoes) your face is clear of  
any blemishes or boils, (Spongebob cuts his boil off with a pair of scissors) and your hair is neat and tidy, (Spongebob
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any blemishes or boils, (SpongeBob cuts his boil off with a pair of scissors) and your hair is neat and tidy, (SpongeBob
 
lifts up his hat, sprays a little hairspray on it to make it straight, then puts his hat back on) you are ready to start  
 
lifts up his hat, sprays a little hairspray on it to make it straight, then puts his hat back on) you are ready to start  
 
the day. Now let’s see how Squidward prepares for his shift. (one of the bathroom stall doors opens to show Squidward  
 
the day. Now let’s see how Squidward prepares for his shift. (one of the bathroom stall doors opens to show Squidward  
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Patty.<br>
 
Patty.<br>
  
Spongebob: (yells in excitement) I’m ready! (splits into two Spongebobs) I'm ready! (splits into more Spongebobs) I'm  
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SpongeBob: (yells in excitement) I’m ready! (splits into two SpongeBob’s) I'm ready! (splits into more SpongeBob’s) I'm  
ready! (splits himself into more Spongebobs until the flyswatter splats all of them on the screen)<br>
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ready! (splits himself into more SpongeBob’s until the flyswatter splats all of them on the screen)<br>
  
 
Narrator: Whoa there. We have a few more topics to cover first. (scene cuts to some vegetables, a spatula, and some  
 
Narrator: Whoa there. We have a few more topics to cover first. (scene cuts to some vegetables, a spatula, and some  
ingredients on a table) Your Work Station. (scene cuts to Spongebob vacuuming on top of the grill) It’s important to keep  
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ingredients on a table) Your Work Station. (scene cuts to SpongeBob vacuuming on top of the grill) It’s important to keep  
  
your area tidy and free of droppings. But a clean workstation is only part of the job. (scene cuts to Spongebob thinking  
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your area tidy and free of droppings. But a clean workstation is only part of the job. (scene cuts to SpongeBob thinking  
of a Krabby Patty in a thought bubble of his) To make the vision in your head a reality, you’ll need supplies. And a good employee always keeps his supplies well-organized. (Spongebob opens up a cabinet, then opens the bottom drawer to reveal  
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of a Krabby Patty in a thought bubble of his) To make the vision in your head a reality, you’ll need supplies. And a good employee always keeps his supplies well-organized. (SpongeBob opens up a cabinet, then opens the bottom drawer to reveal  
a bunch of folders with names of ingredients and vegetables on there) Very good Mr Squarepants, not a pickle out of  
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a bunch of folders with names of ingredients and vegetables on there) Very good Mr. SquarePants, not a pickle out of  
place. (Spongebob peeks out the kitchen door) Now let’s see how Squidward keeps his work station. (Squidward is sleeping  
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place. (SpongeBob peeks out the kitchen door) Now let’s see how Squidward keeps his work station. (Squidward is sleeping  
 
with a magazine on his face. He wakes up)<br>
 
with a magazine on his face. He wakes up)<br>
  
 
Squidward: Huh? (shouts) Oh! (falls on the floor. The cash register drawer opens up and hits Squidward on the head)<br>
 
Squidward: Huh? (shouts) Oh! (falls on the floor. The cash register drawer opens up and hits Squidward on the head)<br>
  
Narrator: Don’t worry Squidward, Mr Squarepants can cover for you. (scene cuts to Spongebob standing next to the grill)  
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Narrator: Don’t worry Squidward, Mr. SquarePants can cover for you. (scene cuts to SpongeBob standing next to the grill)  
 
Now that your workstation is up and running, perhaps you think you’re ready to make the world-famous Krabby Patty.  
 
Now that your workstation is up and running, perhaps you think you’re ready to make the world-famous Krabby Patty.  
(Spongebob barks then runs around the room) (laughs) Calm down. (a bone is thrown at him then he plays with it) There’s  
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(SpongeBob barks then runs around the room) (laughs) Calm down. (a bone is thrown at him then he plays with it) There’s  
 
still plenty of time left. We have to make sure you’re ready for the psychological aspect of the job: Interfacing with  
 
still plenty of time left. We have to make sure you’re ready for the psychological aspect of the job: Interfacing with  
your Boss. (scene cuts to Spongebob walking up to Mr Krabs in his office)<br>
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your Boss. (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking up to Mr. Krabs in his office)<br>
  
Spongebob: Mr Krabs, can I have a raise?<br>
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SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, can I have a raise?<br>
  
Mr Krabs: No.<br>
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Mr. Krabs: No.<br>
  
Narrator: Good job, Mr Squarepants!<br>
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Narrator: Good job, Mr. SquarePants!<br>
  
Spongebob: (runs up to the camera) Can I make a Krabby Patty no... (scene cuts to Patrick walking into the Krusty Krab)
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SpongeBob: (runs up to the camera) Can I make a Krabby Patty no... (scene cuts to Patrick walking into the Krusty Krab)
  
 
Narrator: Now we go from behind the scenes to the front lines, where we’ll examine the most important aspect of the  
 
Narrator: Now we go from behind the scenes to the front lines, where we’ll examine the most important aspect of the  
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Narrator: Ah-ah-ah, Squidward, remember what Mr. Krabs says.<br>
 
Narrator: Ah-ah-ah, Squidward, remember what Mr. Krabs says.<br>
  
Mr Krabs: The money is always right!<br>
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Mr. Krabs: The money is always right!<br>
  
 
Patrick: The ceiling is right Squidward, you’re not a very good employee.<br>
 
Patrick: The ceiling is right Squidward, you’re not a very good employee.<br>
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Narrator: We’ll check up on these two later. (scene cuts to a siren) Right now, it’s important that we discuss an  
 
Narrator: We’ll check up on these two later. (scene cuts to a siren) Right now, it’s important that we discuss an  
emergency situation! (scene cuts to Spongebob standing by a krabby patty looking around for something) Like the lost gold  
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emergency situation! (scene cuts to SpongeBob standing by a krabby patty looking around for something) Like the lost gold  
 
of [[Atlantis]], many consider the Krabby Patty to be a treasure. And as with every treasure, there’s a thief ready steal it.  
 
of [[Atlantis]], many consider the Krabby Patty to be a treasure. And as with every treasure, there’s a thief ready steal it.  
So it’s up to you to be the watchful eye of... (the krabby patty moves as metal legs come out of it and it walks off) What’s this? (Plankton is on the patty) It’s Mr Krabs' business partner, Plankton!<br>
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So it’s up to you to be the watchful eye of... (the krabby patty moves as metal legs come out of it and it walks off) What’s this? (Plankton is on the patty) It’s Mr. Krabs' business partner, Plankton!<br>
Plankton: Eat my microscopic dust, Krabs! Your secret formula is finally mine! (scene cuts to Spongebob with a face of shock)<br>
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Plankton: Eat my microscopic dust, Krabs! Your secret formula is finally mine! (scene cuts to SpongeBob with a face of shock)<br>
  
Narrator: He’s stealing the formula! What are you going to do, Mr Squarepants? (Spongebob screams and runs around the  
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Narrator: He’s stealing the formula! What are you going to do, Mr. SquarePants? (SpongeBob screams and runs around the  
restaurant. Mr Krabs walks up to Plankton as he and the patty are going really slow)<br>
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restaurant. Mr. Krabs walks up to Plankton as he and the patty are going really slow)<br>
  
 
Plankton: You’ll never catch me, Krabs, not after I switch into maximum overdrive! (whips the krabby patty into going  
 
Plankton: You’ll never catch me, Krabs, not after I switch into maximum overdrive! (whips the krabby patty into going  
faster) Hi-ya! (mechanical legs whirring. Mr Krabs grabs the patty) I knew I should have gotten the turbo. (Spongebob is  
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faster) Hi-ya! (mechanical legs whirring. Mr. Krabs grabs the patty) I knew I should have gotten the turbo. (SpongeBob is  
 
still screaming and knocking over tables and chairs) Hear me Krabs! You’ll take this Krabby Patty from me when you pry it  
 
still screaming and knocking over tables and chairs) Hear me Krabs! You’ll take this Krabby Patty from me when you pry it  
from my cold, dead... (Mr Krabs picks up Plankton, who is now squeaking. He flicks him back to the Chum Bucket)<br>
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from my cold, dead... (Mr. Krabs picks up Plankton, who is now squeaking. He flicks him back to the Chum Bucket)<br>
  
Narrator: And so, another emergency is avoided, thanks to Mr Squarepants. (scene cuts to Squidward and Patrick) Let’s  
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Narrator: And so, another emergency is avoided, thanks to Mr. SquarePants. (scene cuts to Squidward and Patrick) Let’s  
 
check in on Squidward again. Psst, Squidward.<br>
 
check in on Squidward again. Psst, Squidward.<br>
  
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Now that you’ve learned the basics of your training, it’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for. (a blue screen  
 
Now that you’ve learned the basics of your training, it’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for. (a blue screen  
 
appears with the krabby patty slowly coming closer to the screen. The narrator is making noises) Preparing the Krabby  
 
appears with the krabby patty slowly coming closer to the screen. The narrator is making noises) Preparing the Krabby  
Patty! (scene cuts to Spongebob bowing down to a poster of a Krabby Patty) At the center of every great dynasty is the  
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Patty! (scene cuts to SpongeBob bowing down to a poster of a Krabby Patty) At the center of every great dynasty is the  
crown jewel that keeps it alive and thriving. (Spongebob crawls to the poster) For the Krusty Krab, this is the Krabby  
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crown jewel that keeps it alive and thriving. (SpongeBob crawls to the poster) For the Krusty Krab, this is the Krabby  
Patty. (Spongebob licks the patty that is on the poster) And now you, the humble employee off the street, the ever-so-
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Patty. (SpongeBob licks the patty that is on the poster) And now you, the humble employee off the street, the ever-so-
 
necessary human resource that keeps this business afloat, will learn the sacred and dark secrets of how to prepare, with  
 
necessary human resource that keeps this business afloat, will learn the sacred and dark secrets of how to prepare, with  
your very own hands... (Spongebob gasps) the sumptuous, lip-moistening, spine-tingling, heart-stopping pleasure center  
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your very own hands... (SpongeBob gasps) the sumptuous, lip-moistening, spine-tingling, heart-stopping pleasure center  
that is a Krabby Patty! Are you ready? (Spongebob nods) Are you sure? (Spongebob nods his head harder) Ok! The secret  
+
that is a Krabby Patty! Are you ready? (SpongeBob nods) Are you sure? (SpongeBob nods his head harder) Ok! The secret  
 
formula is...
 
formula is...
  

Revision as of 16:53, 19 April 2008

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Wet Painters Party Pooper Pants

Episode Article: Krusty Krab Training Video

Characters

Narrator: Welcome aboard. If you’re watching this video, than let me be the first to say 'congratulations'! (a rainbow with the word 'congratulations' appears) You’ve recently been hired by the Krusty Krab restaurant. (a hat, a spatula, and a bucket appear in SpongeBob’s hands) And this is your first official day of training.

SpongeBob: Can I make a Krabby Patty now?

Narrator: No, you’ve got a lot to learn before you’re ready to make a Krabby Patty. As you can see on this graph... (scene cuts to a giraffe. Narrator clears his throat) Graph. (a graph is shown. A Krusty Krab is moving up) You are now employed by one of the most successful restaurants in Bikini Bottom. But it didn’t get that way over night... (its nighttime) because the store closes at 6:00. (scene cuts to picture of Mr. Krabs smiling with the Krusty Krab behind him) No, the story of the Krusty Krab is the story of one man’s hard work, perseverance, vision, determination and sweat. (scene zooms in to one of Mr. Krabs' armpits) But mostly his sweat. (scene cuts to a Krabby Patty sliding across the screen) From humble beginnings. (scene cuts to black and white picture of Mr. Krabs as a child, walking up to a coke machine) You may think that Mr. Eugene H. Krabs, owner and founder of Krusty Krab Inc., has always been the financial wizard he is today. (Mr. Krabs puts in one of his quarters then takes it out as its attacked to a piece of rope with a hole in the quarter) And you’re right. (Mr. Krabs laughs while drinking his soda. Scene cuts to an older Mr. Krabs, in a room with bars at the window) After the war, Krabs stayed secluded in a deep depression that seemed endless. (scene cuts to the Krusty Krab, now a retirement home with elderly fish outside playing shuffleboard) But then his luck changed when he acquired a bankrupt retirement home and with a few minor alterations, the Krusty Krab was born. (Mr. Krabs paints a giant K, in red paint, on a sign outside. Scene cuts to a krabby patty with a light shining on it. We can hear some sort of crying in the background)

Child: Hoopla!

Narrator: Sounds like a lot of...

Child: Hoopla!

Narrator: Sounds like a... (scroll over to a little kid shouting)

Child: Hoopla! Hoopla! (gets hit in the head with a brick then falls down)

Narrator: Sounds like a lot of hoopla to make over a little Krabby Patty right? (chuckles) Wrong! (scene cuts to a krabby patty sliding across the screen again) The Krusty Krab today. (scene cuts to a series of close-ups in the restaurant. Then scene cuts to a view of the inside of the Krusty Krab where customers are eating) To keep up with today’s demanding customers, no expense has been spared to acquire all the latest achievements in fast-food technology.

Mr. Krabs: (holds up a spatula in his left hand) This here’s an advanced patty-control mechanism. (now standing at the register) Here you can see our automated money-handling system. Don’t touch! (now holding ice cubes) These are high- quality beverage temperature devices. Imported. (holds up a straw) This here’s a prototype liquid transfer machine. (puts the straw in an orange drink and drinks it) And most importantly, (holds up some ketchup packets) You get your state-of-

the-art condiment-dispersal units. Now, are you gonna buy something or just stand there cause there’s a standing fee.

Narrator: (SpongeBob is standing there when a packet of ketchup, ice cubes, a cash register, a spatula, and a straw appear around him) All of this modernization seems a little overwhelming, doesn’t it? (the items spin around him) Well luckily for you, Mr. Krabs' fear of robot overlords keeps the balance of technology in check. (items disappear and SpongeBob floats to the right. The scene changes to SpongeBob standing next to Squidward near the cash register) But if modernization is the heart of the Krusty Krab, than employees are the liver and gall bladder. (close-up of SpongeBob) Let’s see if you got what it takes. Hmmm, poised, confidant, and a smile that says, "Hello world! May I take your order?" You’ve got the makings of a good employee, Mr. SquarePants! But for every good employee, there is one who is not so good. (close-up of Squidward reading his magazine) Let’s see, inattentive, impatient, a glazed look in the eyes. (close-up of the button Squidward is wearing on his shirt) Look carefully at the "I Really Wish I Weren’t Here Right Now!" button. There’s a name for employees like this, but we’ll call him Squidward.

Squidward: I’m getting paid overtime for this, right Mr. Krabs?

Mr. Krabs: (in his office) Sorry, can’t hear you! (scene cuts to a krabby patty sliding across the screen again)

Narrator: Training.

SpongeBob: Does this mean I get to make a Krabby Patty now?

Narrator: Oh you can’t make a Krabby Patty without understanding the phrase 'POOP'.

SpongeBob: POOP?

Narrator: Once you understand 'POOP', you’ll understand your place at the Krusty Krab. But what is POOP mean? (SpongeBob shrugs his shoulders) It’s actually a carefully organized code. Watch closely. People Order Our Patties.

SpongeBob: Oh, POOP! (smiles with confidence)

Narrator: Looks like Mr. SquarePants understands 'POOP'! (scene cuts to a customer walking up to Squidward) Here’s a typical customer. I wonder what he wants. Well, if we just remember POOP, we can figure it out.

Customer: I’d like to order.

Narrator: Do you think he wants to order: A: A sofa, B: An expensive haircut, or C: A patty.

Customer: One patty please.

Narrator: Ah, POOP, you never let us down! (scene cuts to a giant krabby patty) Now that you understand POOP, I bet you think you’re ready to make a Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: Krabby Patty! (panting towards the krabby patty but once he gets too close, he gets splat on the screen with a flyswatter)

Narrator: Ha-ha -- not so fast, Eager McBeaver. We haven’t even talked about: (scene cuts to a toilet) Personal Hygiene. (toilet flushes. Scene cuts to SpongeBob in front of a sink) Every employee at the Krusty Krab must comply with a strict set of personal hygiene guidelines. (SpongeBob turns the faucet on) Ok, Mr. SquarePants, are you ready to prepare for your shift? (SpongeBob lathers his hands with soap) A good employee always scrubs his hand thoroughly. Be sure to get under those fingernails. (SpongeBob nods and scrubs a bit harder) And don’t forget about the knuckles. (SpongeBob scrubs a bit harder) And make sure those palms are squeaky clean. (SpongeBob scrubs the hardest he can) All right, let’s see those hands. (holds up his hands but they are invisible from scrubbing so much) Now that’s thorough! (chuckles. Scene cuts to SpongeBob’s shiny shoes) After checking to see your feet are polished, (sprays and wipes his shoes) your face is clear of any blemishes or boils, (SpongeBob cuts his boil off with a pair of scissors) and your hair is neat and tidy, (SpongeBob lifts up his hat, sprays a little hairspray on it to make it straight, then puts his hat back on) you are ready to start the day. Now let’s see how Squidward prepares for his shift. (one of the bathroom stall doors opens to show Squidward sleeping on the toilet with his magazine on his lap) Remember, no employee wants to be a Squidward! (a giant krabby patty appears on the screen again) Now that you’re clean and hygienic, I bet you think you’re ready to make that Krabby Patty.

SpongeBob: (yells in excitement) I’m ready! (splits into two SpongeBob’s) I'm ready! (splits into more SpongeBob’s) I'm ready! (splits himself into more SpongeBob’s until the flyswatter splats all of them on the screen)

Narrator: Whoa there. We have a few more topics to cover first. (scene cuts to some vegetables, a spatula, and some ingredients on a table) Your Work Station. (scene cuts to SpongeBob vacuuming on top of the grill) It’s important to keep

your area tidy and free of droppings. But a clean workstation is only part of the job. (scene cuts to SpongeBob thinking of a Krabby Patty in a thought bubble of his) To make the vision in your head a reality, you’ll need supplies. And a good employee always keeps his supplies well-organized. (SpongeBob opens up a cabinet, then opens the bottom drawer to reveal a bunch of folders with names of ingredients and vegetables on there) Very good Mr. SquarePants, not a pickle out of place. (SpongeBob peeks out the kitchen door) Now let’s see how Squidward keeps his work station. (Squidward is sleeping with a magazine on his face. He wakes up)

Squidward: Huh? (shouts) Oh! (falls on the floor. The cash register drawer opens up and hits Squidward on the head)

Narrator: Don’t worry Squidward, Mr. SquarePants can cover for you. (scene cuts to SpongeBob standing next to the grill) Now that your workstation is up and running, perhaps you think you’re ready to make the world-famous Krabby Patty. (SpongeBob barks then runs around the room) (laughs) Calm down. (a bone is thrown at him then he plays with it) There’s still plenty of time left. We have to make sure you’re ready for the psychological aspect of the job: Interfacing with your Boss. (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking up to Mr. Krabs in his office)

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, can I have a raise?

Mr. Krabs: No.

Narrator: Good job, Mr. SquarePants!

SpongeBob: (runs up to the camera) Can I make a Krabby Patty no... (scene cuts to Patrick walking into the Krusty Krab)

Narrator: Now we go from behind the scenes to the front lines, where we’ll examine the most important aspect of the industry the customer. Or as we say around here, the 'Krustomer'.

Patrick: (stops) Who said that? Are you a ghost?

Narrator: Like precious, precious blood in an animal, the customer is what makes the Krusty Krab strong and alive.

Patrick: Squidward, your ceiling is talking to me!

Squidward: Are you going to order something or just make friends with the paneling?

Patrick: Uhh...I’ll have an uhh...uhh...uhh...ah...) (falls asleep and drools til Squidward snaps his fingers causing him to wake up) What’s that?

Squidward: Patrick, go be stupid somewhere else.

Narrator: Ah-ah-ah, Squidward, remember what Mr. Krabs says.

Mr. Krabs: The money is always right!

Patrick: The ceiling is right Squidward, you’re not a very good employee.

Squidward: Fine. May I please take your order?

Patrick: I’ll have uhh...ah... (drools again as Squidward gets angry)

Narrator: We’ll check up on these two later. (scene cuts to a siren) Right now, it’s important that we discuss an emergency situation! (scene cuts to SpongeBob standing by a krabby patty looking around for something) Like the lost gold of Atlantis, many consider the Krabby Patty to be a treasure. And as with every treasure, there’s a thief ready steal it. So it’s up to you to be the watchful eye of... (the krabby patty moves as metal legs come out of it and it walks off) What’s this? (Plankton is on the patty) It’s Mr. Krabs' business partner, Plankton!
Plankton: Eat my microscopic dust, Krabs! Your secret formula is finally mine! (scene cuts to SpongeBob with a face of shock)

Narrator: He’s stealing the formula! What are you going to do, Mr. SquarePants? (SpongeBob screams and runs around the restaurant. Mr. Krabs walks up to Plankton as he and the patty are going really slow)

Plankton: You’ll never catch me, Krabs, not after I switch into maximum overdrive! (whips the krabby patty into going faster) Hi-ya! (mechanical legs whirring. Mr. Krabs grabs the patty) I knew I should have gotten the turbo. (SpongeBob is still screaming and knocking over tables and chairs) Hear me Krabs! You’ll take this Krabby Patty from me when you pry it from my cold, dead... (Mr. Krabs picks up Plankton, who is now squeaking. He flicks him back to the Chum Bucket)

Narrator: And so, another emergency is avoided, thanks to Mr. SquarePants. (scene cuts to Squidward and Patrick) Let’s check in on Squidward again. Psst, Squidward.

Squidward: Huh?

Narrator: Just remember: POOP.

Squidward: Patrick, if I could make a suggestion. Why don’t you just order a Krabby Patty?

Patrick: Great idea, Squidward! One Krabby Patty, please.

Squidward: (sighs) Will that be here or to go. (closes his mouth but Patrick is confused again. Squidward bangs his head on the register)

Narrator: Hang in there Squidward, it’s all part of the job. (scene cuts to a shot of the Krusty Krab training manual) Now that you’ve learned the basics of your training, it’s time for the moment you’ve been waiting for. (a blue screen appears with the krabby patty slowly coming closer to the screen. The narrator is making noises) Preparing the Krabby Patty! (scene cuts to SpongeBob bowing down to a poster of a Krabby Patty) At the center of every great dynasty is the crown jewel that keeps it alive and thriving. (SpongeBob crawls to the poster) For the Krusty Krab, this is the Krabby Patty. (SpongeBob licks the patty that is on the poster) And now you, the humble employee off the street, the ever-so- necessary human resource that keeps this business afloat, will learn the sacred and dark secrets of how to prepare, with your very own hands... (SpongeBob gasps) the sumptuous, lip-moistening, spine-tingling, heart-stopping pleasure center that is a Krabby Patty! Are you ready? (SpongeBob nods) Are you sure? (SpongeBob nods his head harder) Ok! The secret formula is...Template:Slogan

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