Episode Transcript: The Pink Purloiner

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Episode Article: [[The Pink Purloiner]]
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Episode Article: [[The Pink Purloiner (Episode)|The Pink Purloiner]]
  
 
==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
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*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
 
*[[Patrick Star]]
 
*[[Patrick Star]]
 
*[[Gary]]
 
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
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*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
 
*[[Confess-A-Bear]]
 
*[[Confess-A-Bear]]
 
*[[Perch Perkins]]
 
*[[Perch Perkins]]
 
*[[Jellyfish]]
 
*[[Jellyfish]]
**[[Blue Crested Blaster]]
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*[[Blue Crested Blaster]]
**[[Speckled Squirter]]
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*[[Speckled Squirter]]
**[[Two Fisted Jumper]]
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*[[Two Fisted Jumper]]
**[[Gold Throated Singer]]
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*[[Gold Throated Singer]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
  
SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, the Jellyfish migration is my favorite time of year! For three whole days, jellyfish from around the globe gather on one spot to trade jelly secrets. (gasps as he sees a blue jellyfish) Patrick, look! It's a blue-crested blaster! I've never seen one before! They're really rare. And a speckled squirter, a two-fisted Jumper, and a gold-throated stinger!<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': You know, Patrick, the Jellyfish migration is my favorite time of year! For three whole days, jellyfish from around the globe gather on one spot to trade jelly secrets. (gasps as he sees a blue jellyfish) Patrick, look! A blue-crested blaster! I've never seen one before! They're really rare. And a speckled squirter, a two-fisted jumper, and a gold-throated stinger!<br>
  
Gold Jellyfish: La, la, la, la, la, la, la!<br>
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'''Gold Jellyfish''': La, la, la, la, la, la, la!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, this year's migration is gonna be a big one! (SpongeBob and Patrick are over-shadowed)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, this year's migration is gonna be a big one! (SpongeBob and Patrick are over-shadowed)<br>
  
Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob? (looks up and sees a bunch of colorful jellyfish above them)<br>
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'''Patrick''': Uhh, SpongeBob? (looks up and sees a bunch of colorful jellyfish above them)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Wow. This looks like a job for Ol' Reliable! (opens his case to a high-tech net. He catches many jellyfish while Patrick struggles to catch one. Scene cuts to the bus stop)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Wow. This looks like a job for Ol' Reliable! (opens his case to a high-tech net. He catches many jellyfish while Patrick struggles to catch one. Scene cuts to the bus stop) Ah, that was the most beautiful day of jellyfishing ever.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Ah, that was the most beautiful day of jellyfishing ever.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Well, I didn't catch a thing with my dumb old net. (shows an old worn-out net, which breaks)<br>
  
Patrick: Well, I didn't catch a thing with my dumb old net. (his net breaks)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Lucky for me, I have Ol' Reliable! Carbon fiber handle, titanium alloy netting and form-fitting silicone grips. Yes, sir, Ol' Reliable is the best net in the world.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Lucky for me, I have Ol' Reliable! Carbon fiber handle, titanium alloid netting and form-fitting silicone grips. Yes, sir, Ol' Reliable is the best net in the world.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Wow! I would '''kill''' for a net like that! You know, something small like a carrot. But not spiders, they're icky. (shudders. Scene cuts to the bus dropping off Patrick and SpongeBob on their street)<br>
  
Patrick: Wow! I would kill for a net like that! You know, something small like a carrot. But not spiders, they're icky. (shudders. Scene cuts to the bus dropping off Patrick and SpongeBob on their street)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Good night, Patrick.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Good night, Patrick.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Good night, SpongeBob.<br>
  
Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (in his bed) Ah, I love jellyfishing. (night breaks into day quickly and the foghorn alarm goes off) Whoo! Time to get ready for day two of the jellyfish migration. And I'll start with my trusty jellyfishing net, Ol' Reliable. (realizes he doesn't have it) Ol' Reliable? (gasps) It's gone! (runs out the door in his underwear)<br>
  
SpongeBob: (in his bed) Ah, I love jellyfishing. (night breaks into day quickly and the foghorn alarm goes off) Whoo! Time to get ready for day two of the jellyfish migration. And I'll start with my trusty jellyfishing net, Ol' Reliable. (realizes he doesn't have it) Ol' Reliable? (gasps) It's gone! (runs out the door in his underwear)<br>
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'''Gary''': Meow?<br>
  
Gary: Meow?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, right. Pants.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, right. Pants.<br>
+
'''Narrator''': One pair of pants later...<br>
  
Narrator: One pair of pants later...<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, Ol' Reliable has been stolen! (both scream. Scene cuts to them stapling posters saying "STOLEN! OL' RELIABLE")<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, Ol' Reliable has been stolen! (both scream. Scene cuts to them stapling posters saying "STOLEN! OL' RELIABLE")<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Put one over there, Patrick.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Put one over there, Patrick.<br>
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'''Patrick''': I'm all done.<br>
  
Patrick: I'm all done.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we should spread out a little. (newspaper ad of the "Bikini Bottom Gazette" reads "STOLEN OL' RELIABLE" on the front page)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Maybe we should spread out a little. (newspaper ad of the "Bikini Bottom Gazette" reads "STOLEN OL' RELIABLE" on the front page)<br>
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'''A. Realistic Fish Head''': Flash: The jellyfish migration enters it second day of fantastic jellyfishing. We now go live to our reporter on the scene.<br>
  
A. Realistic Fish Head: Flash. The jellyfish migration enters it second day of fantastic jellyfishing. We now go live to our reporter on the scene.<br>
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'''Perch Perkins''': (in Jellyfish Fields) This year's migration is the largest in a century! I feel truly sorry for the poor saps who will miss even one minute of this remarkable event. (SpongeBob takes Perch's microphone)<br>
  
Perch Perkins: (in Jellyfish Fields) This year's migration is the largest in a century! I feel truly sorry for the poor saps that will miss even one minute of this remarkable event. (SpongeBob takes Perch's microphone)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Attention, Bikini Bottom! My jellyfishing net has been stolen. I am prepared to offer a large reward for its safe return. (Mr. Krabs sees this on TV at home and runs to Jellyfish Fields then appears on TV instantly)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Attention, Bikini Bottom, my jellyfishing net has been stolen. I am prepared to offer a large reward for its safe return. (Mr. Krabs sees this on TV at home and runs to Jellyfish Fields then appears on TV instantly)<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Reward? How much we talkin' about?<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: Reward? How much we talkin' about?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': 12 dollars and (counting the coins) 2, 10, 20...38 cents.<br>
  
SpongeBob: 12 dollars and... (counts the coins) ...38 cents.<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': I'm on the case. (takes SpongeBob’s money and runs off screen while Perch takes back his microphone)<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: I'm on the case. (takes SpongeBob’s money and runs off screen while Perch takes back his microphone)<br>
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'''Perch Perkins''': Guys, I know it's a slow news day, but come on. (scene cuts to SpongeBob sitting in his chair by the phone when it rings. He picks it up)<br>
  
Perch Perkins: Guys, I know it's a slow news day, but come on. (scene cuts to SpongeBob sitting in his chair by the phone when it rings. He picks it up)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh! Hello? Hello?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh! Hello? Hello?<br>
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'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, did you get your net back?<br>
  
Patrick: SpongeBob, did you get your net back?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, get off the line, Patrick. Someone might be trying to call about Ol' Reliable!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, get off the line, Patrick. Someone might be trying to call about Ol' Reliable!<br>
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'''Patrick''': Oh, sorry. (hangs up. The phone rings again) Did you get your net yet?<br>
  
Patrick: Oh, sorry. (hangs up. The phone rings again) Did you get your net yet?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick. Don't call unless you found my net. (hangs up. The phone rings again) (Shouting) Hello!!!???<br>
  
SpongeBob: No, Patrick. Don't call unless you found my net. (hangs up. The phone rings again)<br>
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'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, I found your net!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Hello?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': What?!? Really, Patrick?<br>
  
Patrick: SpongeBob, I found your net!<br>
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'''Patrick''': Uhh, oh, not really. I just got lonely.<br>
  
SpongeBob: What! Really?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'll never get my net back. I'll just have to accept that Ol' Reliable is gone forever. (looks out his window and notices Patrick running around with a jellyfish net) (sighs) Patrick's lucky. He gets to practice in the middle of the night with his jellyfish net. (gets in bed) Funny thing is, Patrick's net disintegrated yesterday. (his eyes widen. Scene cuts to morning. Patrick walks up to SpongeBob’s pineapple)<br>
  
Patrick: Uhh, oh, not really. I just got lonely.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Hey, SpongeBob, did you get Ol' Reliable back yet?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, I'll never get my net back. I'll just have to accept that Ol' Reliable is gone forever. (looks out his window and notices Patrick running around with a jellyfish net)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': (sighs) No, not yet. Hey, Patrick, wouldn't it be the funniest thing if ''you'' had taken my jellyfish net? (Patrick laughs then stops)<br>
  
SpongeBob: (sighs) Patrick's lucky. He gets to practice in the middle of the night with his jellyfish net. (gets in bed) Funny thing is, Patrick's net disintegrated yesterday. (his eyes widen. Scene cuts to morning. Patrick walks up to SpongeBob’s pineapple)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': No. (SpongeBob laughs)<br>
  
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, did you get Ol' Reliable back yet?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, that would be silly. Oh, that reminds me. I got you a present.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (sighs) No, not yet. Hey, Patrick, wouldn't it be the funniest thing if you had taken my jellyfish net? (Patrick laughs then stops)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': A present? What is it?<br>
  
Patrick: No. (SpongeBob laughs)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': (pulls out a bear with a microphone in its hand) It's a Confess-A-Bear. He's a special friend you tell all your secrets to.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah, that would be silly. Oh, that reminds me. I got you a present.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Wow, thanks, SpongeBob!<br>
  
Patrick: A present? What is it?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': I'll just leave you two alone to get acquainted. (quickly dashes off to speak for the bear)<br>
  
SpongeBob: (pulls out a bear with a microphone in its hand) It's a Confess-a-Bear. He's a special friend you tell all your secrets to.<br>
+
'''Confess-A-Bear''': ''My name is Confess-A-Bear! Tell me all your secrets.''<br>
  
Patrick: Wow, thanks, SpongeBob!<br>
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'''Patrick''': Uh, I did something recently I'm not very proud of. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of happened.<br>
  
SpongeBob: I'll just leave you two alone to get acquainted.
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'''Confess-A-Bear''': ''Oh, maybe you should talk about it.''<br>
  
(quickly dashes off to speak for the bear)<br>
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'''Patrick''': Well, it involves my best friend SpongeBob. I don't think he knows what happened, but it would really upset him if he found out.<br>
  
Confess-A-Bear: Hi! My name is Confess-a-Bear! Tell me all your secrets.<br>
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'''Confess-A-Bear''': ''Tell Confess-A-Bear!''<br>
  
Patrick: Um, I did something recently I'm not very proud of. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of happened.<br>
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'''Patrick''': I've said too much already.<br>
  
Confess-a-Bear: Hmmm, maybe you should talk about it.<br>
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'''Confess-A-Bear''': ''Tell Confess-A-Bear now!'' '''''NOW!!'''''<br>
  
Patrick: Well, it involves my best friend SpongeBob. I don't think he knows what happened, but it would really upset him if he found out.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Ahh!! I accidentally knocked SpongeBob's toothbrush into the toilet and then I put it back on the counter without washing it! Confess-A-Bear? (SpongeBob runs around in the background wiping his tongue off and screaming) You're mad at me, aren't you, Confess-A-Bear? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking up to Patrick's rock)<br>
  
Confess-a-Bear: Tell Confess-a-Bear!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, we need to talk.<br>
  
Patrick: I've said too much already.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Uh, don't come in! Uh, I'm not decent! The house is a mess! There's a radiation leak!<br>
  
Confess-a-Bear: Tell Confess-a-Bear now! Now!!<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Hmmm... (walks down some stairs into Patrick's rock) Patrick, where are you? Why are the lights off?<br>
  
Patrick: Ahh!! I accidentally knocked SpongeBob’s toothbrush in the toilet and put it back on the counter without washing it! Confess-a-Bear? (SpongeBob runs around in the background wiping his tongue off and screaming) You're mad at me, aren't you, Confess-a-Bear? (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking up to Patrick's rock)<br>
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'''Patrick''': I'm in here. Be out in a second. (Patrick's shadow reveals himself holding a jellyfishing net)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, we need to talk.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Ol' Reliable! Ah...huh.<br>
  
Patrick: Uh, don't come in! I'm not decent! The house is a mess! There's a radiation leak!<br>
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'''Patrick''': (Standing with his hands behind his back) Hello.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Hmmm... (walks down some stairs into Patrick's rock) Patrick, where are you? Why are the lights off?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': What's in your hand, Patrick?<br>
  
Patrick: I'm in here. Be out in a second. (Patrick's shadow reveals himself holding a jellyfishing net)<br>
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'''Patrick''': (shows his left hand) Nothing.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable! Ah...ha.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': What's in your other hand?<br>
  
Patrick: (Standing with his hands behind his back) Hello.<br>
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'''Patrick''': (grows another arm through his chest) Nothing in my other hand.<br>
  
SpongeBob: What's in your hand, Patrick?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Well, I gotta go.<br>
  
Patrick: (shows his left hand) Nothing.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Okay, bye.<br>
  
SpongeBob: What's in your other hand?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Patrick wouldn't steal Ol' Reliable. ''Would'' he? (imagines Patrick from earlier)<br>
  
Patrick: (grows another arm through his chest) Nothing in my other hand.<br>
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'''Patrick''': I would '''kill''' for a net like that! (takes out a carrot, breaks it in half, and laughs maniacally)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Well, I gotta go.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': (screams) Have I been best friends with a master thief? I must know for sure. (scene cuts to the next day) Good morning, Patrick.<br>
  
Patrick: Okay, bye.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Morning, SpongeBob.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick wouldn't steal Ol' Reliable. Would he? (imagines Patrick from earlier)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': What are you going to do today, buddy?<br>
  
Patrick: I would kill for a net like that! (takes out a carrot, breaks it in half, and laughs maniacally)<br>
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'''Patrick''': Eh, nothing.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (screams) Have I been best friends with a master thief? I must know for sure. (scene cuts to the next day) Good morning, Patrick.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (puts on his Krusty Krab hat) Well, I'm off to work. See ya later.<br>
  
Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Bye. (SpongeBob walks off then sneaks into a bush in the background)<br>
  
SpongeBob: What are you going to do today, buddy?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Now, we'll just see what sort of nothing you're really up to, Sneaky McSneakyPants. (looks through binoculars)<br>
  
Patrick: Eh, nothing.<br>
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'''Narrator''': 8 hours later...<br>
  
SpongeBob: (puts on his Krusty Krab hat) Well, I'm off to work. See ya later, Patrick.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': (still looking through binoculars) Oh, he is good. You never really know a guy until you've stared at him for eight hours through high-powered binoculars. Hey, where'd he go? (Patrick is behind him)<br>
  
Patrick: Bye. (SpongeBob walks off then sneaks into a bush in the background)<br>
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'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Now, we'll just see what sort of nothing you're really up to, Sneaky McSneakyPants. (looks through binoculars)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Uh, you...what the...? What are you doing?<br>
  
Narrator: 8 hours later...<br>
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'''Patrick''': Nothing. I just finished. (takes out his to-do list and crosses out 'Nothing') Oh, hey, look. You can see where I was just standing from here. Boy, if you'd wanted to, you could have spied on me all day from right here. (shudder) Creepy, huh? Anyway, what are you doing with those binoculars?<br>
  
SpongeBob: (still looking through binoculars) Oh, he is good. You never really know a guy until you stare at him for eight  hours through high-powered binoculars. Hey, where'd he go? (Patrick is behind him)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': (yells and throws away the binoculars) I don't have any binoculars, see?<br>
  
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing?<br>
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'''Patrick''': You're acting weird.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Uh, you... what the...? What are you doing?<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': I'm not acting weird! (runs off panting) You're acting weird! You're... acting... weird!<br>
  
Patrick: Nothing. I just finished. (takes out his to-do list and crosses out 'Nothing') Oh, hey, look. You can see where I was just standing from here. Boy, if you wanted to, you could have spied on me all day from right here. (shudder) Creepy, huh? Anyway, what are you doing with those binoculars?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Okay, bye! (later, SpongeBob knocks on Patrick's rock) Hello! Who are you?<br>
  
SpongeBob: (yells and throws away the binoculars) I don't have any binoculars, see?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (wearing a mustache. With a Scottish accent) Greetings, young fellow! I am willing to pay top dollar for jellyfishing items with sentimental value, if you know what I mean.<br>
  
Patrick: You're acting weird.<br>
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'''Patrick''': Oh. No.<br>
  
SpongeBob: I'm not acting weird! (runs off panting) You're acting weird! You're... acting... weird!<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Word on the street is that you know where to get quality jellyfishing supplies, hmm?<br>
  
Patrick: Okay, bye! (later, SpongeBob knocks on Patrick's rock) Hello! Who are you?<br>
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'''Patrick''': What street said that? Was it this one? (points at the street) Mind your own business!<br>
  
SpongeBob: (wearing a mustache) Greetings, young fellow! I am willing to pay top dollar for jellyfishing items with sentimental value, if you know what I mean.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Star, I know that you are in possession of a rare jellyfishing net. I will pay one billion dollars for that net. (shows a fake $1,000,000,000 bill that is colored on with crayon)<br>
  
Patrick: Oh. No.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I don't know who you are, but I'm not giving you this jellyfishing net. (holds the jellyfishing case out) I wouldn't sell it for a million dollars, not for a hundred dollars, I wouldn't even sell it for a dollar.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Word on the street is that you know where to get quality jellyfishing supplies.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh really?<br>
  
Patrick: What street said that? Was it this one? (points at the street) Mind your own business!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': You can't have it for any price.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Mr. Star, I know that you are in possession of a rare jellyfishing net. I will pay one billion dollars for that net. (shows a fake $1,000,000,000 bill that is colored on with crayon)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': And why not?<br>
  
Patrick: I don't know who you are, but I'm not giving you this jellyfishing net. (holds the jellyfishing case out) I wouldn't sell it for a million dollars, not for a hundred dollars, I wouldn't even sell it for a dollar.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': This means more to me than money. It's my friend SpongeBob’s!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh really?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (points angrily at a surprised Patrick, and rips off the mustache) '''Ah-ha!'''<br>
  
Patrick: You can't have it for any price.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here. There was this scary guy with a mustache asking a lot of weird questions.<br>
  
SpongeBob: And why not?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I'm the scary mustache guy!<br>
  
Patrick: This means more to me than money. It's my friend SpongeBob’s!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (screams) Why, SpongeBob, why? Why did you wear such a scary mustache?<br>
  
SpongeBob: (rips off the mustache) A-ha!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Why did you steal my jellyfishing net?<br>
  
Patrick: SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here. There was this scary guy with a mustache asking a lot of weird questions.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': What? I'm your best friend!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm the scary mustache guy!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': You ''were'' my best friend, you no-good jellyfish net thief!<br>
  
Patrick: (screams) Why, SpongeBob, why? Why would you wear such a scary mustache?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': How could you think that?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Why would you steal my jellyfishishing net?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Because you said it. You said that it was your friend SpongeBob’s.<br>
  
Patrick: What? I'm your best friend!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Gift.<br>
  
SpongeBob: You were my best friend, you no-good jellyfish net thief!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': What?<br>
  
Patrick: How could you think that?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': It's my friend SpongeBob’s gift. (opens the case up to reveal a new jellyfishing net) I made you a new net.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Because you said it. You said that it was your friend SpongeBob’s.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (reads inscription) For SpongeBob. You made me a new jellyfishing net? That is so thoughtful of you. Patrick? (a bunch of stuff is on the ground) What you doing, best friend?<br>
  
Patrick: Gift.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (sets the TV in the pile of junk) I'm not your best friend. I'm a no-good jelly netting thief fish.<br>
  
SpongeBob: What?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Where're you going?<br>
  
Patrick: It's my friend SpongeBob’s gift. (opens the case up to reveal a new jellyfishing net) I made you a new net.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I'm leaving Bikini Bottom while I still have my dignity.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (reads inscription) For SpongeBob. You made me a new jellyfishing net? That is so thoughtful of you. Patrick? (a bunch of stuff is on the ground) What you doing, best friend?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, no! (bus stops in front of them) So, this is it?<br>
  
Patrick: (sets the TV in the pile of junk) I'm not your best friend. I'm a no-good jelly netting thief fish.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Barring the unforeseen hand of fate, I'm afraid it is.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Where're you going?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (hands onto Patrick's left foot) Patrick, don't go. I'm sorry I accused you. It's bad enough I lost my net. I don't want to lose my friend, too. Please forgive me.<br>
  
Patrick: I'm leaving Bikini Bottom while I still have my dignity.<br>
+
'''Bus Driver''': What's the holdup? Oh, it's you two. (shows SpongeBob his net) Look, you left your net on the bus again.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, no! (bus stops in front of them) So, this is it?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Ol' Reliable? I left you on the bus?<br>
  
Patrick: Barring the unforeseen hand of fate, I'm afraid it is.<br>
+
'''Bus Driver''': You do it every week. Now can we get going?<br>
  
SpongeBob: (hands onto Patrick's left foot) Patrick, don't go. I'm sorry I accused you. It's bad enough I lost my net. I don't want to lose my friend, too. Please forgive me.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I want you to take this to remember me by.<br>
  
Bus Driver: What's the holdup? Oh, it's you two. (shows SpongeBob his net) Look, you left your net on the bus again.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': You're giving me Ol' Reliable? (cries loudly) I accept your apology!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable? I left you on the bus?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, come here, you big lug. (both hug and cry)
  
Bus Driver: You do it every week. Now can we get going?<br>
+
'''Passengers''': Aww...<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, I want you to take this to remember me by.<br>
+
'''Bus Driver''': They do this all the time. I'm serious. I--ugh, nevermind.<br>
  
Patrick: You're giving me Ol' Reliable? (cries loudly) I accept your apology.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I'm staying in Bikini Bottom!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, come here, you big lug. (both hug and cry loudly...)<br>
+
'''Passengers''': Hooray! (bus drives off)<br>
  
Passengers: Aww...<br>
+
'''Patrick''': You want to go jellyfishing? I just got a new net. (holds up Ol' Reliable)<br>
  
Bus Driver: They do this all the time. I'm serious. I--ugh, nevermind.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': So did I. (holds up the one Patrick made for him) My best friend made it for me.<br>
  
Patrick: I'm staying in Bikini Bottom!<br>
+
'''Both''': Whee! (both laugh and run into Jellyfish Fields, where the exotic jellyfish are still there)
 
+
Passengers: Hooray! (bus drives off)<br>
+
 
+
Patrick: You want to go jellyfishing? I just got a new net. (holds up Ol' Reliable)<br>
+
 
+
SpongeBob: So did I. (holds up the one Patrick made for him) My best friend made it for me.<br>
+
 
+
Both: Whee! (both laugh and run into Jellyfish Fields, where the exotic jellyfish are still there)
+
  
 
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Latest revision as of 22:04, 27 October 2024

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Best Frenemies Squid Wood

Episode Article: The Pink Purloiner

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, the Jellyfish migration is my favorite time of year! For three whole days, jellyfish from around the globe gather on one spot to trade jelly secrets. (gasps as he sees a blue jellyfish) Patrick, look! A blue-crested blaster! I've never seen one before! They're really rare. And a speckled squirter, a two-fisted jumper, and a gold-throated stinger!

Gold Jellyfish: La, la, la, la, la, la, la!

SpongeBob: Oh, this year's migration is gonna be a big one! (SpongeBob and Patrick are over-shadowed)

Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob? (looks up and sees a bunch of colorful jellyfish above them)

SpongeBob: Wow. This looks like a job for Ol' Reliable! (opens his case to a high-tech net. He catches many jellyfish while Patrick struggles to catch one. Scene cuts to the bus stop) Ah, that was the most beautiful day of jellyfishing ever.

Patrick: Well, I didn't catch a thing with my dumb old net. (shows an old worn-out net, which breaks)

SpongeBob: Lucky for me, I have Ol' Reliable! Carbon fiber handle, titanium alloy netting and form-fitting silicone grips. Yes, sir, Ol' Reliable is the best net in the world.

Patrick: Wow! I would kill for a net like that! You know, something small like a carrot. But not spiders, they're icky. (shudders. Scene cuts to the bus dropping off Patrick and SpongeBob on their street)

SpongeBob: Good night, Patrick.

Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: (in his bed) Ah, I love jellyfishing. (night breaks into day quickly and the foghorn alarm goes off) Whoo! Time to get ready for day two of the jellyfish migration. And I'll start with my trusty jellyfishing net, Ol' Reliable. (realizes he doesn't have it) Ol' Reliable? (gasps) It's gone! (runs out the door in his underwear)

Gary: Meow?

SpongeBob: Oh, right. Pants.

Narrator: One pair of pants later...

SpongeBob: Patrick, Ol' Reliable has been stolen! (both scream. Scene cuts to them stapling posters saying "STOLEN! OL' RELIABLE")

SpongeBob: Put one over there, Patrick.

Patrick: I'm all done.

SpongeBob: Maybe we should spread out a little. (newspaper ad of the "Bikini Bottom Gazette" reads "STOLEN OL' RELIABLE" on the front page)

A. Realistic Fish Head: Flash: The jellyfish migration enters it second day of fantastic jellyfishing. We now go live to our reporter on the scene.

Perch Perkins: (in Jellyfish Fields) This year's migration is the largest in a century! I feel truly sorry for the poor saps who will miss even one minute of this remarkable event. (SpongeBob takes Perch's microphone)

SpongeBob: Attention, Bikini Bottom! My jellyfishing net has been stolen. I am prepared to offer a large reward for its safe return. (Mr. Krabs sees this on TV at home and runs to Jellyfish Fields then appears on TV instantly)

Mr. Krabs: Reward? How much we talkin' about?

SpongeBob: 12 dollars and (counting the coins) 2, 10, 20...38 cents.

Mr. Krabs: I'm on the case. (takes SpongeBob’s money and runs off screen while Perch takes back his microphone)

Perch Perkins: Guys, I know it's a slow news day, but come on. (scene cuts to SpongeBob sitting in his chair by the phone when it rings. He picks it up)

SpongeBob: Oh! Hello? Hello?

Patrick: SpongeBob, did you get your net back?

SpongeBob: Oh, get off the line, Patrick. Someone might be trying to call about Ol' Reliable!

Patrick: Oh, sorry. (hangs up. The phone rings again) Did you get your net yet?

SpongeBob: No, Patrick. Don't call unless you found my net. (hangs up. The phone rings again) (Shouting) Hello!!!???

Patrick: SpongeBob, I found your net!

SpongeBob: What?!? Really, Patrick?

Patrick: Uhh, oh, not really. I just got lonely.

SpongeBob: Oh, I'll never get my net back. I'll just have to accept that Ol' Reliable is gone forever. (looks out his window and notices Patrick running around with a jellyfish net) (sighs) Patrick's lucky. He gets to practice in the middle of the night with his jellyfish net. (gets in bed) Funny thing is, Patrick's net disintegrated yesterday. (his eyes widen. Scene cuts to morning. Patrick walks up to SpongeBob’s pineapple)

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, did you get Ol' Reliable back yet?

SpongeBob: (sighs) No, not yet. Hey, Patrick, wouldn't it be the funniest thing if you had taken my jellyfish net? (Patrick laughs then stops)

Patrick: No. (SpongeBob laughs)

SpongeBob: Yeah, that would be silly. Oh, that reminds me. I got you a present.

Patrick: A present? What is it?

SpongeBob: (pulls out a bear with a microphone in its hand) It's a Confess-A-Bear. He's a special friend you tell all your secrets to.

Patrick: Wow, thanks, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: I'll just leave you two alone to get acquainted. (quickly dashes off to speak for the bear)

Confess-A-Bear: My name is Confess-A-Bear! Tell me all your secrets.

Patrick: Uh, I did something recently I'm not very proud of. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of happened.

Confess-A-Bear: Oh, maybe you should talk about it.

Patrick: Well, it involves my best friend SpongeBob. I don't think he knows what happened, but it would really upset him if he found out.

Confess-A-Bear: Tell Confess-A-Bear!

Patrick: I've said too much already.

Confess-A-Bear: Tell Confess-A-Bear now! NOW!!

Patrick: Ahh!! I accidentally knocked SpongeBob's toothbrush into the toilet and then I put it back on the counter without washing it! Confess-A-Bear? (SpongeBob runs around in the background wiping his tongue off and screaming) You're mad at me, aren't you, Confess-A-Bear? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking up to Patrick's rock)

SpongeBob: Patrick, we need to talk.

Patrick: Uh, don't come in! Uh, I'm not decent! The house is a mess! There's a radiation leak!

SpongeBob: Hmmm... (walks down some stairs into Patrick's rock) Patrick, where are you? Why are the lights off?

Patrick: I'm in here. Be out in a second. (Patrick's shadow reveals himself holding a jellyfishing net)

SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable! Ah...huh.

Patrick: (Standing with his hands behind his back) Hello.

SpongeBob: What's in your hand, Patrick?

Patrick: (shows his left hand) Nothing.

SpongeBob: What's in your other hand?

Patrick: (grows another arm through his chest) Nothing in my other hand.

SpongeBob: Well, I gotta go.

Patrick: Okay, bye.

SpongeBob: Patrick wouldn't steal Ol' Reliable. Would he? (imagines Patrick from earlier)

Patrick: I would kill for a net like that! (takes out a carrot, breaks it in half, and laughs maniacally)

SpongeBob: (screams) Have I been best friends with a master thief? I must know for sure. (scene cuts to the next day) Good morning, Patrick.

Patrick: Morning, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: What are you going to do today, buddy?

Patrick: Eh, nothing.

SpongeBob: (puts on his Krusty Krab hat) Well, I'm off to work. See ya later.

Patrick: Bye. (SpongeBob walks off then sneaks into a bush in the background)

SpongeBob: Now, we'll just see what sort of nothing you're really up to, Sneaky McSneakyPants. (looks through binoculars)

Narrator: 8 hours later...

SpongeBob: (still looking through binoculars) Oh, he is good. You never really know a guy until you've stared at him for eight hours through high-powered binoculars. Hey, where'd he go? (Patrick is behind him)

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing?

SpongeBob: Uh, you...what the...? What are you doing?

Patrick: Nothing. I just finished. (takes out his to-do list and crosses out 'Nothing') Oh, hey, look. You can see where I was just standing from here. Boy, if you'd wanted to, you could have spied on me all day from right here. (shudder) Creepy, huh? Anyway, what are you doing with those binoculars?

SpongeBob: (yells and throws away the binoculars) I don't have any binoculars, see?

Patrick: You're acting weird.

SpongeBob: I'm not acting weird! (runs off panting) You're acting weird! You're... acting... weird!

Patrick: Okay, bye! (later, SpongeBob knocks on Patrick's rock) Hello! Who are you?

SpongeBob: (wearing a mustache. With a Scottish accent) Greetings, young fellow! I am willing to pay top dollar for jellyfishing items with sentimental value, if you know what I mean.

Patrick: Oh. No.

SpongeBob: Word on the street is that you know where to get quality jellyfishing supplies, hmm?

Patrick: What street said that? Was it this one? (points at the street) Mind your own business!

SpongeBob: Mr. Star, I know that you are in possession of a rare jellyfishing net. I will pay one billion dollars for that net. (shows a fake $1,000,000,000 bill that is colored on with crayon)

Patrick: I don't know who you are, but I'm not giving you this jellyfishing net. (holds the jellyfishing case out) I wouldn't sell it for a million dollars, not for a hundred dollars, I wouldn't even sell it for a dollar.

SpongeBob: Oh really?

Patrick: You can't have it for any price.

SpongeBob: And why not?

Patrick: This means more to me than money. It's my friend SpongeBob’s!

SpongeBob: (points angrily at a surprised Patrick, and rips off the mustache) Ah-ha!

Patrick: SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here. There was this scary guy with a mustache asking a lot of weird questions.

SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm the scary mustache guy!

Patrick: (screams) Why, SpongeBob, why? Why did you wear such a scary mustache?

SpongeBob: Why did you steal my jellyfishing net?

Patrick: What? I'm your best friend!

SpongeBob: You were my best friend, you no-good jellyfish net thief!

Patrick: How could you think that?

SpongeBob: Because you said it. You said that it was your friend SpongeBob’s.

Patrick: Gift.

SpongeBob: What?

Patrick: It's my friend SpongeBob’s gift. (opens the case up to reveal a new jellyfishing net) I made you a new net.

SpongeBob: (reads inscription) For SpongeBob. You made me a new jellyfishing net? That is so thoughtful of you. Patrick? (a bunch of stuff is on the ground) What you doing, best friend?

Patrick: (sets the TV in the pile of junk) I'm not your best friend. I'm a no-good jelly netting thief fish.

SpongeBob: Where're you going?

Patrick: I'm leaving Bikini Bottom while I still have my dignity.

SpongeBob: Patrick, no! (bus stops in front of them) So, this is it?

Patrick: Barring the unforeseen hand of fate, I'm afraid it is.

SpongeBob: (hands onto Patrick's left foot) Patrick, don't go. I'm sorry I accused you. It's bad enough I lost my net. I don't want to lose my friend, too. Please forgive me.

Bus Driver: What's the holdup? Oh, it's you two. (shows SpongeBob his net) Look, you left your net on the bus again.

SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable? I left you on the bus?

Bus Driver: You do it every week. Now can we get going?

SpongeBob: Patrick, I want you to take this to remember me by.

Patrick: You're giving me Ol' Reliable? (cries loudly) I accept your apology!

SpongeBob: Oh, come here, you big lug. (both hug and cry)

Passengers: Aww...

Bus Driver: They do this all the time. I'm serious. I--ugh, nevermind.

Patrick: I'm staying in Bikini Bottom!

Passengers: Hooray! (bus drives off)

Patrick: You want to go jellyfishing? I just got a new net. (holds up Ol' Reliable)

SpongeBob: So did I. (holds up the one Patrick made for him) My best friend made it for me.

Both: Whee! (both laugh and run into Jellyfish Fields, where the exotic jellyfish are still there)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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