Episode Transcript: The Pink Purloiner

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Episode Article: [[The Pink Purloiner]]
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Episode Article: [[The Pink Purloiner (Episode)|The Pink Purloiner]]
  
 
==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
 
*[[Patrick Star]]
 
*[[Patrick Star]]
 
*[[Gary]]
 
*[[Gary]]
*[[Mr. Krabs]]
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*[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]]
 
*[[Confess-A-Bear]]
 
*[[Confess-A-Bear]]
 
*[[Perch Perkins]]
 
*[[Perch Perkins]]
 
*[[Jellyfish]]
 
*[[Jellyfish]]
**[[Blue Crested Blaster]]
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*[[Blue Crested Blaster]]
**[[Speckled Squirter]]
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*[[Speckled Squirter]]
**[[Two Fisted Jumper]]
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*[[Two Fisted Jumper]]
**[[Gold Throated Singer]]
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*[[Gold Throated Singer]]
  
 
==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
  
SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, the Jellyfish migration is my favorite time of year! For three whole days, jellyfish from around the globe gather on one spot to trade jelly secrets. (gasps as he sees a blue jellyfish) Patrick, look! It's a blue-crested blaster! I've never seen one before! They're really rare. And a speckled squirter, a two-fisted Jumper, and a gold-throated stinger!<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': You know, Patrick, the Jellyfish migration is my favorite time of year! For three whole days, jellyfish from around the globe gather on one spot to trade jelly secrets. (gasps as he sees a blue jellyfish) Patrick, look! A blue-crested blaster! I've never seen one before! They're really rare. And a speckled squirter, a two-fisted jumper, and a gold-throated stinger!<br>
  
Gold Jellyfish: La, la, la, la, la, la, la!<br>
+
'''Gold Jellyfish''': La, la, la, la, la, la, la!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, this year's migration is gonna be a big one! (SpongeBob and Patrick are over-shadowed)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, this year's migration is gonna be a big one! (SpongeBob and Patrick are over-shadowed)<br>
  
Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob? (looks up and sees a bunch of colorful jellyfish above them)<br>
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'''Patrick''': Uhh, SpongeBob? (looks up and sees a bunch of colorful jellyfish above them)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Wow. This looks like a job for Ol' Reliable! (opens his case to a metal net instead of one made of bamboo
+
'''SpongeBob''': Wow. This looks like a job for Ol' Reliable! (opens his case to a high-tech net. He catches many jellyfish while Patrick struggles to catch one. Scene cuts to the bus stop) Ah, that was the most beautiful day of jellyfishing ever.<br>
sticks. He catches many jellyfish while Patrick struggles to catch one. Scene cuts to the bus stop)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Ah, that was the most beautiful day of jellyfishing ever.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Well, I didn't catch a thing with my dumb old net. (shows an old worn-out net, which breaks)<br>
  
Patrick: Well, I didn't catch a thing with my dumb old net. (his net breaks)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Lucky for me, I have Ol' Reliable! Carbon fiber handle, titanium alloy netting and form-fitting silicone grips. Yes, sir, Ol' Reliable is the best net in the world.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Lucky for me, I have Ol' Reliable! Carbon fiber handle, titanium alloid netting and form-fitting silicone grips.  
+
'''Patrick''': Wow! I would '''kill''' for a net like that! You know, something small like a carrot. But not spiders, they're icky. (shudders. Scene cuts to the bus dropping off Patrick and SpongeBob on their street)<br>
Yes, sir, Ol' Reliable is the best net in the world.<br>
+
  
Patrick: Wow! I would kill for a net like that! You know, something small like a carrot. But not spiders, they're icky.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Good night, Patrick.<br>
(shudders. Scene cuts to the bus dropping off Patrick and SpongeBob on their street)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Good night, Patrick.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Good night, SpongeBob.<br>
  
Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (in his bed) Ah, I love jellyfishing. (night breaks into day quickly and the foghorn alarm goes off) Whoo! Time to get ready for day two of the jellyfish migration. And I'll start with my trusty jellyfishing net, Ol' Reliable. (realizes he doesn't have it) Ol' Reliable? (gasps) It's gone! (runs out the door in his underwear)<br>
  
SpongeBob: (in his bed) Ah, I love jellyfishing. (night breaks into day quickly and the foghorn alarm goes off) Whoo! Time
+
'''Gary''': Meow?<br>
to get ready for day two of the jellyfish migration. And I'll start with my trusty jellyfishing net, Ol' Reliable.
+
(realizes he doesn't have it) Ol' Reliable? (gasps) It's gone! (runs out the door in his underwear)<br>
+
  
Gary: Meow?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, right. Pants.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, right. Pants.<br>
+
'''Narrator''': One pair of pants later...<br>
  
Narrator: One pair of pants later...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, Ol' Reliable has been stolen! (both scream. Scene cuts to them stapling posters saying "STOLEN! OL' RELIABLE")<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, Ol' Reliable has been stolen! (both scream. Scene cuts to them stapling posters saying "STOLEN! OL'
+
'''SpongeBob''': Put one over there, Patrick.<br>
RELIABLE")<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Put one over there, Patrick.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I'm all done.<br>
  
Patrick: I'm all done.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we should spread out a little. (newspaper ad of the "Bikini Bottom Gazette" reads "STOLEN OL' RELIABLE" on the front page)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Maybe we should spread out a little. (newspaper ad of the "Bikini Bottom Gazette" reads "STOLEN OL' RELIABLE" on  
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'''A. Realistic Fish Head''': Flash: The jellyfish migration enters it second day of fantastic jellyfishing. We now go live to our reporter on the scene.<br>
the front page)<br>
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A. Realistic Fish Head: Flash. The jellyfish migration enters it second day of fantastic jellyfishing. We now go live to
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'''Perch Perkins''': (in Jellyfish Fields) This year's migration is the largest in a century! I feel truly sorry for the poor saps who will miss even one minute of this remarkable event. (SpongeBob takes Perch's microphone)<br>
our reporter on the scene.<br>
+
  
Perch Perkins: (in Jellyfish Fields) This year's migration is the largest in a century! I feel truly sorry for the poor
+
'''SpongeBob''': Attention, Bikini Bottom! My jellyfishing net has been stolen. I am prepared to offer a large reward for its safe return. (Mr. Krabs sees this on TV at home and runs to Jellyfish Fields then appears on TV instantly)<br>
saps that will miss even one minute of this remarkable event. (SpongeBob takes Perch's microphone)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Attention, Bikini Bottom, my jellyfishing net has been stolen. I am prepared to offer a large reward for its
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'''Mr. Krabs''': Reward? How much we talkin' about?<br>
safe return. (Mr. Krabs sees this on TV at home and runs to Jellyfish Fields then appears on TV instantly)<br>
+
Mr. Krabs: Reward? How much we talkin' about?<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: 12 dollars and... (counts the coins) ...38 cents.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': 12 dollars and (counting the coins) 2, 10, 20...38 cents.<br>
  
Mr. Krabs: I'm on the case. (takes SpongeBob’s money and runs off screen while Perch takes back his microphone)<br>
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'''Mr. Krabs''': I'm on the case. (takes SpongeBob’s money and runs off screen while Perch takes back his microphone)<br>
  
Perch Perkins: Guys, I know it's a slow news day, but come on. (scene cuts to SpongeBob sitting in his chair by the phone  
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'''Perch Perkins''': Guys, I know it's a slow news day, but come on. (scene cuts to SpongeBob sitting in his chair by the phone when it rings. He picks it up)<br>
when it rings. He picks it up)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Oh! Hello? Hello?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh! Hello? Hello?<br>
  
Patrick: SpongeBob, did you get your net back?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, did you get your net back?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, get off the line, Patrick. Someone might be trying to call about Ol' Reliable!<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, get off the line, Patrick. Someone might be trying to call about Ol' Reliable!<br>
  
Patrick: Oh, sorry. (hangs up. The phone rings again) Did you get your net yet?<br>
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'''Patrick''': Oh, sorry. (hangs up. The phone rings again) Did you get your net yet?<br>
  
SpongeBob: No, Patrick. Don't call unless you found my net. (hangs up. The phone rings again)<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': No, Patrick. Don't call unless you found my net. (hangs up. The phone rings again) (Shouting) Hello!!!???<br>
  
 +
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, I found your net!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Hello?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': What?!? Really, Patrick?<br>
Patrick: SpongeBob, I found your net!<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: What! Really?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Uhh, oh, not really. I just got lonely.<br>
  
Patrick: Uhh, oh, not really. I just got lonely.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Oh, I'll never get my net back. I'll just have to accept that Ol' Reliable is gone forever. (looks out his window and notices Patrick running around with a jellyfish net) (sighs) Patrick's lucky. He gets to practice in the middle of the night with his jellyfish net. (gets in bed) Funny thing is, Patrick's net disintegrated yesterday. (his eyes widen. Scene cuts to morning. Patrick walks up to SpongeBob’s pineapple)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, I'll never get my net back. I'll just have to accept that Ol' Reliable is gone forever. (looks out his
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'''Patrick''': Hey, SpongeBob, did you get Ol' Reliable back yet?<br>
window and notices Patrick running around with a jellyfish net)<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: (sighs) Patrick's lucky. He gets to practice in the middle of the night with his jellyfish net. (gets in bed)
+
'''SpongeBob''': (sighs) No, not yet. Hey, Patrick, wouldn't it be the funniest thing if ''you'' had taken my jellyfish net? (Patrick laughs then stops)<br>
Funny thing is, Patrick's net disintegrated yesterday. (his eyes widen. Scene cuts to morning. Patrick walks up to
+
SpongeBob’s pineapple)<br>
+
  
Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, did you get Ol' Reliable back yet?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': No. (SpongeBob laughs)<br>
  
SpongeBob: (sighs) No, not yet. Hey, Patrick, wouldn't it be the funniest thing if you had taken my jellyfish net? (Patrick laughs then stops)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, that would be silly. Oh, that reminds me. I got you a present.<br>
  
Patrick: No. (SpongeBob laughs)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': A present? What is it?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Yeah, that would be silly. Oh, that reminds me. I got you a present.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (pulls out a bear with a microphone in its hand) It's a Confess-A-Bear. He's a special friend you tell all your secrets to.<br>
  
''Patrick: A present? What is it?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Wow, thanks, SpongeBob!<br>
  
SpongeBob: (pulls out a bear with a microphone in its hand) It's a Confessor bear. He's a special friend you tell all your
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'''SpongeBob''': I'll just leave you two alone to get acquainted. (quickly dashes off to speak for the bear)<br>
secrets to.<br>
+
  
Patrick: Wow, thanks, SpongeBob!<br>
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'''Confess-A-Bear''': ''My name is Confess-A-Bear! Tell me all your secrets.''<br>
  
SpongeBob: ''I'll just leave you two alone to get acquainted.
+
'''Patrick''': Uh, I did something recently I'm not very proud of. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of happened.<br>
  
(quickly dashes off to speak for the bear)<br>
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'''Confess-A-Bear''': ''Oh, maybe you should talk about it.''<br>
  
Confessor Bear: Hi! My name is Confessor Bear! Tell me all your secrets.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Well, it involves my best friend SpongeBob. I don't think he knows what happened, but it would really upset him if he found out.<br>
  
Patrick: Um, I did something recently I'm not very proud of. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of happened.<br>
+
'''Confess-A-Bear''': ''Tell Confess-A-Bear!''<br>
  
Confessor Bear: Hmmm, maybe you should talk about it.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I've said too much already.<br>
  
Patrick: Well, it involves my best friend SpongeBob. I don't think he knows what happened, but it would really upset him if
+
'''Confess-A-Bear''': ''Tell Confess-A-Bear now!'' '''''NOW!!'''''<br>
he found out.<br>
+
  
Confessor Bear: Tell Confessor Bear!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Ahh!! I accidentally knocked SpongeBob's toothbrush into the toilet and then I put it back on the counter without washing it! Confess-A-Bear? (SpongeBob runs around in the background wiping his tongue off and screaming) You're mad at me, aren't you, Confess-A-Bear? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking up to Patrick's rock)<br>
  
Patrick: I've said too much already.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, we need to talk.<br>
  
Confessor Bear: Tell Confessor Bear now! Now!!<br>
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'''Patrick''': Uh, don't come in! Uh, I'm not decent! The house is a mess! There's a radiation leak!<br>
  
Patrick: I accidentally knocked SpongeBob’s toothbrush in the toilet and put it back on the counter without washing it!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hmmm... (walks down some stairs into Patrick's rock) Patrick, where are you? Why are the lights off?<br>
Confessor Bear? (SpongeBob runs around in the background wiping his tongue off) You're mad at me, aren't you, Confessor
+
Bear? (scene cuts to SpongeBob walking up to Patrick's rock)<br>''''
+
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, we need to talk.<br>
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'''Patrick''': I'm in here. Be out in a second. (Patrick's shadow reveals himself holding a jellyfishing net)<br>
  
Patrick: Uh, don't come in! I'm not decent! The house is a mess! There's a radiation leak!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Ol' Reliable! Ah...huh.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Hmmm... (walks down some stairs into Patrick's rock) Patrick, where are you? Why are the lights off?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (Standing with his hands behind his back) Hello.<br>
  
Patrick: I'm in here. Be out in a second. (Patrick's shadow reveals himself holding a jellyfishing net)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': What's in your hand, Patrick?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable! Ah...ha.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (shows his left hand) Nothing.<br>
  
Patrick: (Standing with his hands behind his back) Hello.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': What's in your other hand?<br>
  
SpongeBob: What's in your hand, Patrick?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (grows another arm through his chest) Nothing in my other hand.<br>
  
Patrick: (shows his left hand) Nothing.<br>
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'''SpongeBob''': Well, I gotta go.<br>
  
SpongeBob: What's in your other hand?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Okay, bye.<br>
  
Patrick: (grows another arm through his chest) Nothing in my other hand.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick wouldn't steal Ol' Reliable. ''Would'' he? (imagines Patrick from earlier)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Well, I gotta go.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I would '''kill''' for a net like that! (takes out a carrot, breaks it in half, and laughs maniacally)<br>
  
Patrick: Ok, bye.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (screams) Have I been best friends with a master thief? I must know for sure. (scene cuts to the next day) Good morning, Patrick.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick wouldn't steal Ol' Reliable. Would he? (imagines Patrick from earlier)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Morning, SpongeBob.<br>
  
Patrick: I would kill for a net like that! (takes out a carrot, breaks it in half, and laughs maniacally)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': What are you going to do today, buddy?<br>
  
SpongeBob: (screams) Have I been best friends with a master thief? I must know for sure. (scene cuts to the next day) Good
+
'''Patrick''': Eh, nothing.<br>
morning, Patrick.<br>
+
  
Patrick: Good morning, SpongeBob.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (puts on his Krusty Krab hat) Well, I'm off to work. See ya later.<br>
  
SpongeBob: What are you going to do today, buddy?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Bye. (SpongeBob walks off then sneaks into a bush in the background)<br>
  
Patrick: Eh, nothing.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Now, we'll just see what sort of nothing you're really up to, Sneaky McSneakyPants. (looks through binoculars)<br>
  
SpongeBob: (puts on his Krusty Krab hat) Well, I'm off to work. See ya later, Patrick.<br>
+
'''Narrator''': 8 hours later...<br>
  
Patrick: Bye. (SpongeBob walks off then sneaks into a bush in the background)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (still looking through binoculars) Oh, he is good. You never really know a guy until you've stared at him for eight hours through high-powered binoculars. Hey, where'd he go? (Patrick is behind him)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Now, we'll just see what sort of nothing you're really up to, Sneaky McSneakyPants. (looks through binoculars)
+
'''Patrick''': Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing?<br>
<br>
+
  
Narrator: 8 hours later...<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Uh, you...what the...? What are you doing?<br>
  
SpongeBob: (still looking through binoculars) Oh, he is good. You never really know a guy until you stare at him for eight  hours through high-powered binoculars. Hey, where'd he go? (Patrick is behind him)<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Nothing. I just finished. (takes out his to-do list and crosses out 'Nothing') Oh, hey, look. You can see where I was just standing from here. Boy, if you'd wanted to, you could have spied on me all day from right here. (shudder) Creepy, huh? Anyway, what are you doing with those binoculars?<br>
  
Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (yells and throws away the binoculars) I don't have any binoculars, see?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Uh, you... what the...? What are you doing?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': You're acting weird.<br>
  
Patrick: Nothing. I just finished. (takes out his to-do list and crosses out 'Nothing') Oh, hey, look. You can see where I
+
'''SpongeBob''': I'm not acting weird! (runs off panting) You're acting weird! You're... acting... weird!<br>
was just standing from here. Boy, if you wanted to, you could have spied on me all day from right here. (shudder) Creepy,
+
huh? Anyway, what are you doing with those binoculars?<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: (yells and throws away the binoculars) I don't have any binoculars, see?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Okay, bye! (later, SpongeBob knocks on Patrick's rock) Hello! Who are you?<br>
  
Patrick: You're acting weird.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (wearing a mustache. With a Scottish accent) Greetings, young fellow! I am willing to pay top dollar for jellyfishing items with sentimental value, if you know what I mean.<br>
  
SpongeBob: I'm not acting weird! (runs off panting) You're acting weird! You're... acting... weird!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Oh. No.<br>
  
Patrick: Ok, bye. (later, SpongeBob knocks on Patrick's rock) Hello! Who are you?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Word on the street is that you know where to get quality jellyfishing supplies, hmm?<br>
  
SpongeBob: (wearing a mustache) Greetings, young fellow! I am willing to pay top dollar for jellyfishing items with
+
'''Patrick''': What street said that? Was it this one? (points at the street) Mind your own business!<br>
sentimental value, if you know what I mean.<br>
+
  
Patrick: Oh. No.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Mr. Star, I know that you are in possession of a rare jellyfishing net. I will pay one billion dollars for that net. (shows a fake $1,000,000,000 bill that is colored on with crayon)<br>
  
SpongeBob: Word on the street is that you know where to get quality jellyfishing supplies.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I don't know who you are, but I'm not giving you this jellyfishing net. (holds the jellyfishing case out) I wouldn't sell it for a million dollars, not for a hundred dollars, I wouldn't even sell it for a dollar.<br>
  
Patrick: What street said that? Was it this one? (points at the street) Mind your own business!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh really?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Mr. Star, I know that you are in possession of a rare jellyfishing net. I will pay one billion dollars for that
+
'''Patrick''': You can't have it for any price.<br>
net. (shows a fake $1,000,000,000 bill that is colored on with crayon)<br>
+
  
Patrick: I don't know who you are, but I'm not giving you this jellyfishing net. (holds the jellyfishing case out) I
+
'''SpongeBob''': And why not?<br>
wouldn't sell it for a million dollars, not for a hundred dollars, I wouldn't even sell it for a dollar.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Oh really?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': This means more to me than money. It's my friend SpongeBob’s!<br>
  
Patrick: You can't have it for any price.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (points angrily at a surprised Patrick, and rips off the mustache) '''Ah-ha!'''<br>
  
SpongeBob: And why not?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here. There was this scary guy with a mustache asking a lot of weird questions.<br>
  
Patrick: This means more to me than money. It's my friend SpongeBob’s!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I'm the scary mustache guy!<br>
  
SpongeBob: (rips off the mustache) A-ha!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (screams) Why, SpongeBob, why? Why did you wear such a scary mustache?<br>
  
Patrick: SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here. There was this scary guy with a mustache asking a lot of wierd
+
'''SpongeBob''': Why did you steal my jellyfishing net?<br>
questions.<br>
+
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm the scary mustache guy!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': What? I'm your best friend!<br>
  
Patrick: (screams) Why, SpongeBob, why? Why would you wear such a scary mustache?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': You ''were'' my best friend, you no-good jellyfish net thief!<br>
SpongeBob: Why would you steal my jellyfishishing net?<br>
+
  
Patrick: What? I'm your best friend!<br>
+
'''Patrick''': How could you think that?<br>
  
SpongeBob: You were my best friend, you no-good jellyfish net theif!<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Because you said it. You said that it was your friend SpongeBob’s.<br>
  
Patrick: How could you think that?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Gift.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Because you said it. You said that it was your friend SpongeBob’s.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': What?<br>
  
Patrick: Gift.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': It's my friend SpongeBob’s gift. (opens the case up to reveal a new jellyfishing net) I made you a new net.<br>
  
SpongeBob: What?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (reads inscription) For SpongeBob. You made me a new jellyfishing net? That is so thoughtful of you. Patrick? (a bunch of stuff is on the ground) What you doing, best friend?<br>
  
Patrick: It's my friend SpongeBob’s gift. (opens the case up to reveal a new jellyfishing net) I made you a new net.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': (sets the TV in the pile of junk) I'm not your best friend. I'm a no-good jelly netting thief fish.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (reads inscription) For SpongeBob. You made me a new jellyfishing net? That is so thoughtful of you. Patrick? (a
+
'''SpongeBob''': Where're you going?<br>
bunch of stuff is on the ground) What you doing, best friend?<br>
+
  
Patrick: (sets the TV in the pile of junk) I'm not your best friend. I'm a no-good jelly netting thief fish.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I'm leaving Bikini Bottom while I still have my dignity.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Where're you going?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, no! (bus stops in front of them) So, this is it?<br>
  
Patrick: I'm leaving Bikini Bottom while I still have my dignity.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': Barring the unforeseen hand of fate, I'm afraid it is.<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, no! (bus stops in front of them) So, this is it?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': (hands onto Patrick's left foot) Patrick, don't go. I'm sorry I accused you. It's bad enough I lost my net. I don't want to lose my friend, too. Please forgive me.<br>
  
Patrick: Barring the unforeseen hand of fate, I'm afraid it is.<br>
+
'''Bus Driver''': What's the holdup? Oh, it's you two. (shows SpongeBob his net) Look, you left your net on the bus again.<br>
  
SpongeBob: (hands onto Patrick's left foot) Patrick, don't go. I'm sorry I accused you. It's bad enough I lost my net. I
+
'''SpongeBob''': Ol' Reliable? I left you on the bus?<br>
don't want to lose my friend, too. Please forgive me.<br>
+
  
Bus Driver: What's the holdup? Oh, it's you two. (shows SpongeBob his net) Look, you left your net on the bus again.<br>
+
'''Bus Driver''': You do it every week. Now can we get going?<br>
  
SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable? I left you on the bus?<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I want you to take this to remember me by.<br>
  
Bus Driver: You do it every week. Now can we get going?<br>
+
'''Patrick''': You're giving me Ol' Reliable? (cries loudly) I accept your apology!<br>
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, I want you to take this to remember me by.<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, come here, you big lug. (both hug and cry)
  
Patrick: You're giving me Ol' Reliable? (sobs) I accept your apology.<br>
+
'''Passengers''': Aww...<br>
  
SpongeBob: Oh, come here, you big lug. (both hug and sob)<br>
+
'''Bus Driver''': They do this all the time. I'm serious. I--ugh, nevermind.<br>
  
Passengers: Aww...<br>
+
'''Patrick''': I'm staying in Bikini Bottom!<br>
  
Bus Driver: They do this all the time. I'm serious. I--ugh, nevermind.<br>
+
'''Passengers''': Hooray! (bus drives off)<br>
  
Patrick: I'm staying in Bikini Bottom.<br>
+
'''Patrick''': You want to go jellyfishing? I just got a new net. (holds up Ol' Reliable)<br>
  
Passengers: Hooray! (bus drives off)<br>
+
'''SpongeBob''': So did I. (holds up the one Patrick made for him) My best friend made it for me.<br>
  
Patrick: You want to go jellyfishing? I just got a new net. (holds up Ol' Reliable)<br>
+
'''Both''': Whee! (both laugh and run into Jellyfish Fields, where the exotic jellyfish are still there)
 
+
SpongeBob: So did I. (holds up the one Patrick made for him) My best friend made it for me.<br>
+
 
+
Both: Whee! (both laugh and run into Jellyfish Fields)
+
  
 
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Latest revision as of 22:04, 27 October 2024

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Best Frenemies Squid Wood

Episode Article: The Pink Purloiner

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

SpongeBob: You know, Patrick, the Jellyfish migration is my favorite time of year! For three whole days, jellyfish from around the globe gather on one spot to trade jelly secrets. (gasps as he sees a blue jellyfish) Patrick, look! A blue-crested blaster! I've never seen one before! They're really rare. And a speckled squirter, a two-fisted jumper, and a gold-throated stinger!

Gold Jellyfish: La, la, la, la, la, la, la!

SpongeBob: Oh, this year's migration is gonna be a big one! (SpongeBob and Patrick are over-shadowed)

Patrick: Uhh, SpongeBob? (looks up and sees a bunch of colorful jellyfish above them)

SpongeBob: Wow. This looks like a job for Ol' Reliable! (opens his case to a high-tech net. He catches many jellyfish while Patrick struggles to catch one. Scene cuts to the bus stop) Ah, that was the most beautiful day of jellyfishing ever.

Patrick: Well, I didn't catch a thing with my dumb old net. (shows an old worn-out net, which breaks)

SpongeBob: Lucky for me, I have Ol' Reliable! Carbon fiber handle, titanium alloy netting and form-fitting silicone grips. Yes, sir, Ol' Reliable is the best net in the world.

Patrick: Wow! I would kill for a net like that! You know, something small like a carrot. But not spiders, they're icky. (shudders. Scene cuts to the bus dropping off Patrick and SpongeBob on their street)

SpongeBob: Good night, Patrick.

Patrick: Good night, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: (in his bed) Ah, I love jellyfishing. (night breaks into day quickly and the foghorn alarm goes off) Whoo! Time to get ready for day two of the jellyfish migration. And I'll start with my trusty jellyfishing net, Ol' Reliable. (realizes he doesn't have it) Ol' Reliable? (gasps) It's gone! (runs out the door in his underwear)

Gary: Meow?

SpongeBob: Oh, right. Pants.

Narrator: One pair of pants later...

SpongeBob: Patrick, Ol' Reliable has been stolen! (both scream. Scene cuts to them stapling posters saying "STOLEN! OL' RELIABLE")

SpongeBob: Put one over there, Patrick.

Patrick: I'm all done.

SpongeBob: Maybe we should spread out a little. (newspaper ad of the "Bikini Bottom Gazette" reads "STOLEN OL' RELIABLE" on the front page)

A. Realistic Fish Head: Flash: The jellyfish migration enters it second day of fantastic jellyfishing. We now go live to our reporter on the scene.

Perch Perkins: (in Jellyfish Fields) This year's migration is the largest in a century! I feel truly sorry for the poor saps who will miss even one minute of this remarkable event. (SpongeBob takes Perch's microphone)

SpongeBob: Attention, Bikini Bottom! My jellyfishing net has been stolen. I am prepared to offer a large reward for its safe return. (Mr. Krabs sees this on TV at home and runs to Jellyfish Fields then appears on TV instantly)

Mr. Krabs: Reward? How much we talkin' about?

SpongeBob: 12 dollars and (counting the coins) 2, 10, 20...38 cents.

Mr. Krabs: I'm on the case. (takes SpongeBob’s money and runs off screen while Perch takes back his microphone)

Perch Perkins: Guys, I know it's a slow news day, but come on. (scene cuts to SpongeBob sitting in his chair by the phone when it rings. He picks it up)

SpongeBob: Oh! Hello? Hello?

Patrick: SpongeBob, did you get your net back?

SpongeBob: Oh, get off the line, Patrick. Someone might be trying to call about Ol' Reliable!

Patrick: Oh, sorry. (hangs up. The phone rings again) Did you get your net yet?

SpongeBob: No, Patrick. Don't call unless you found my net. (hangs up. The phone rings again) (Shouting) Hello!!!???

Patrick: SpongeBob, I found your net!

SpongeBob: What?!? Really, Patrick?

Patrick: Uhh, oh, not really. I just got lonely.

SpongeBob: Oh, I'll never get my net back. I'll just have to accept that Ol' Reliable is gone forever. (looks out his window and notices Patrick running around with a jellyfish net) (sighs) Patrick's lucky. He gets to practice in the middle of the night with his jellyfish net. (gets in bed) Funny thing is, Patrick's net disintegrated yesterday. (his eyes widen. Scene cuts to morning. Patrick walks up to SpongeBob’s pineapple)

Patrick: Hey, SpongeBob, did you get Ol' Reliable back yet?

SpongeBob: (sighs) No, not yet. Hey, Patrick, wouldn't it be the funniest thing if you had taken my jellyfish net? (Patrick laughs then stops)

Patrick: No. (SpongeBob laughs)

SpongeBob: Yeah, that would be silly. Oh, that reminds me. I got you a present.

Patrick: A present? What is it?

SpongeBob: (pulls out a bear with a microphone in its hand) It's a Confess-A-Bear. He's a special friend you tell all your secrets to.

Patrick: Wow, thanks, SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: I'll just leave you two alone to get acquainted. (quickly dashes off to speak for the bear)

Confess-A-Bear: My name is Confess-A-Bear! Tell me all your secrets.

Patrick: Uh, I did something recently I'm not very proud of. I didn't mean to do it. It just sort of happened.

Confess-A-Bear: Oh, maybe you should talk about it.

Patrick: Well, it involves my best friend SpongeBob. I don't think he knows what happened, but it would really upset him if he found out.

Confess-A-Bear: Tell Confess-A-Bear!

Patrick: I've said too much already.

Confess-A-Bear: Tell Confess-A-Bear now! NOW!!

Patrick: Ahh!! I accidentally knocked SpongeBob's toothbrush into the toilet and then I put it back on the counter without washing it! Confess-A-Bear? (SpongeBob runs around in the background wiping his tongue off and screaming) You're mad at me, aren't you, Confess-A-Bear? (bubble-wipe to SpongeBob walking up to Patrick's rock)

SpongeBob: Patrick, we need to talk.

Patrick: Uh, don't come in! Uh, I'm not decent! The house is a mess! There's a radiation leak!

SpongeBob: Hmmm... (walks down some stairs into Patrick's rock) Patrick, where are you? Why are the lights off?

Patrick: I'm in here. Be out in a second. (Patrick's shadow reveals himself holding a jellyfishing net)

SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable! Ah...huh.

Patrick: (Standing with his hands behind his back) Hello.

SpongeBob: What's in your hand, Patrick?

Patrick: (shows his left hand) Nothing.

SpongeBob: What's in your other hand?

Patrick: (grows another arm through his chest) Nothing in my other hand.

SpongeBob: Well, I gotta go.

Patrick: Okay, bye.

SpongeBob: Patrick wouldn't steal Ol' Reliable. Would he? (imagines Patrick from earlier)

Patrick: I would kill for a net like that! (takes out a carrot, breaks it in half, and laughs maniacally)

SpongeBob: (screams) Have I been best friends with a master thief? I must know for sure. (scene cuts to the next day) Good morning, Patrick.

Patrick: Morning, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: What are you going to do today, buddy?

Patrick: Eh, nothing.

SpongeBob: (puts on his Krusty Krab hat) Well, I'm off to work. See ya later.

Patrick: Bye. (SpongeBob walks off then sneaks into a bush in the background)

SpongeBob: Now, we'll just see what sort of nothing you're really up to, Sneaky McSneakyPants. (looks through binoculars)

Narrator: 8 hours later...

SpongeBob: (still looking through binoculars) Oh, he is good. You never really know a guy until you've stared at him for eight hours through high-powered binoculars. Hey, where'd he go? (Patrick is behind him)

Patrick: Hi, SpongeBob. What are you doing?

SpongeBob: Uh, you...what the...? What are you doing?

Patrick: Nothing. I just finished. (takes out his to-do list and crosses out 'Nothing') Oh, hey, look. You can see where I was just standing from here. Boy, if you'd wanted to, you could have spied on me all day from right here. (shudder) Creepy, huh? Anyway, what are you doing with those binoculars?

SpongeBob: (yells and throws away the binoculars) I don't have any binoculars, see?

Patrick: You're acting weird.

SpongeBob: I'm not acting weird! (runs off panting) You're acting weird! You're... acting... weird!

Patrick: Okay, bye! (later, SpongeBob knocks on Patrick's rock) Hello! Who are you?

SpongeBob: (wearing a mustache. With a Scottish accent) Greetings, young fellow! I am willing to pay top dollar for jellyfishing items with sentimental value, if you know what I mean.

Patrick: Oh. No.

SpongeBob: Word on the street is that you know where to get quality jellyfishing supplies, hmm?

Patrick: What street said that? Was it this one? (points at the street) Mind your own business!

SpongeBob: Mr. Star, I know that you are in possession of a rare jellyfishing net. I will pay one billion dollars for that net. (shows a fake $1,000,000,000 bill that is colored on with crayon)

Patrick: I don't know who you are, but I'm not giving you this jellyfishing net. (holds the jellyfishing case out) I wouldn't sell it for a million dollars, not for a hundred dollars, I wouldn't even sell it for a dollar.

SpongeBob: Oh really?

Patrick: You can't have it for any price.

SpongeBob: And why not?

Patrick: This means more to me than money. It's my friend SpongeBob’s!

SpongeBob: (points angrily at a surprised Patrick, and rips off the mustache) Ah-ha!

Patrick: SpongeBob! Oh, thank goodness you're here. There was this scary guy with a mustache asking a lot of weird questions.

SpongeBob: Patrick, I'm the scary mustache guy!

Patrick: (screams) Why, SpongeBob, why? Why did you wear such a scary mustache?

SpongeBob: Why did you steal my jellyfishing net?

Patrick: What? I'm your best friend!

SpongeBob: You were my best friend, you no-good jellyfish net thief!

Patrick: How could you think that?

SpongeBob: Because you said it. You said that it was your friend SpongeBob’s.

Patrick: Gift.

SpongeBob: What?

Patrick: It's my friend SpongeBob’s gift. (opens the case up to reveal a new jellyfishing net) I made you a new net.

SpongeBob: (reads inscription) For SpongeBob. You made me a new jellyfishing net? That is so thoughtful of you. Patrick? (a bunch of stuff is on the ground) What you doing, best friend?

Patrick: (sets the TV in the pile of junk) I'm not your best friend. I'm a no-good jelly netting thief fish.

SpongeBob: Where're you going?

Patrick: I'm leaving Bikini Bottom while I still have my dignity.

SpongeBob: Patrick, no! (bus stops in front of them) So, this is it?

Patrick: Barring the unforeseen hand of fate, I'm afraid it is.

SpongeBob: (hands onto Patrick's left foot) Patrick, don't go. I'm sorry I accused you. It's bad enough I lost my net. I don't want to lose my friend, too. Please forgive me.

Bus Driver: What's the holdup? Oh, it's you two. (shows SpongeBob his net) Look, you left your net on the bus again.

SpongeBob: Ol' Reliable? I left you on the bus?

Bus Driver: You do it every week. Now can we get going?

SpongeBob: Patrick, I want you to take this to remember me by.

Patrick: You're giving me Ol' Reliable? (cries loudly) I accept your apology!

SpongeBob: Oh, come here, you big lug. (both hug and cry)

Passengers: Aww...

Bus Driver: They do this all the time. I'm serious. I--ugh, nevermind.

Patrick: I'm staying in Bikini Bottom!

Passengers: Hooray! (bus drives off)

Patrick: You want to go jellyfishing? I just got a new net. (holds up Ol' Reliable)

SpongeBob: So did I. (holds up the one Patrick made for him) My best friend made it for me.

Both: Whee! (both laugh and run into Jellyfish Fields, where the exotic jellyfish are still there)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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