Episode Transcript: Porous Pockets

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==Characters==
 
==Characters==
*[[SpongeBob]]
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
*[[Patrick]]
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
 
*[[Harold]]
 
*[[Harold]]
 
*Appraisal Clerk
 
*Appraisal Clerk
*Vendor
+
*[[Lou]]
*Bill
+
*[[Nat Peterson]]
 +
*[[Harold]]
 
*[[Bert]]
 
*[[Bert]]
 
*Butler
 
*Butler
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==Dialogue==
 
==Dialogue==
SpongeBob: (walking around in a small circle in Jellyfish Fields) Ahh, nothing quite like a relaxing stroll (deep voice) deep (normal) in Jellyfish Fields.
+
'''SpongeBob''': (walking around in a small circle in Jellyfish Fields) Ahh, nothing quite like a relaxing stroll (deep voice) deep (normal) in Jellyfish Fields. (a high pitched scream can be heard in the distance) I'd know that sound anywhere! It's a terrifying shriek! But where's it coming from? (looks from behind a rock and finds Patrick shrieking) Patrick, what is with all the shrieking? You know I walk here on Tuesdays.
  
(a high pitched scream in the distance)
+
'''Patrick''': Sorry, SpongeBob. That wasn't me.
  
SpongeBob: I’d know that sound anywhere! It’s a terrifying shriek! But where’s it coming from?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I know I heard a terrifying shriek.
  
(he looks from behind a rock and finds Patrick shrieking)
+
'''Patrick''': So did I, SpongeBob, but I was just mimicking it. (mimics everything SpongeBob says)  
  
Spongebob: Patrick, what is with all the shrieking? You know I walk here on Tuesdays.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' So, you were mimicking it. Patrick, please don't do that. It is really... (terrifying shriek is heard) Wait a minute, if the shriek wasn't coming from you, then where was it...? It's over there behind that kelp shrub. (a giant clam behind the kelp bush is shrieking) The terrifying shriek must've come from this clam. (the clam starts coughing violently) Hey, Patrick, I think there's something wrong with... (the clam is coughing and wheezing) W-W-What are we gonna do?
  
Patrick: Sorry, SpongeBob. That wasn’t me.
+
'''Patrick''': Well, the last time I remember coughing like that, I was sitting at home eating a box of Kelp Jerky.
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, I know I heard a terrifying shriek.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, and you were coughing because you got something stuck in your throat?
  
Patrick: So did I, SpongeBob, but I was just mimicking it.
+
'''Patrick''': I got the TV remote stuck in my throat!
  
SpongeBob: (Patrick mimicking) So, you were mimicking it. Patrick, please don’t do that. It is really…
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, this clam is choking! Luckily, I come prepared! (pulls out a bottle of bubble soap) There, there, Clammy. (takes out bubble wand and spreads a line of soap under the clam's bottom lip)
  
(terrifying shriek)
+
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, what are you doing?
  
SpongeBob: Wait a minute, if the shriek wasn’t coming from you, then where was it…it’s over there, in the kelp trap!
+
'''SpongeBob''': They like this!
  
(a giant clam behind the kelp bush is shrieking)
+
'''Patrick''': No! You always give a choking victim the Slimelich Maneuver, first. And if that doesn't work, you walk away and pretend like you never saw them before. (walks behind the clam) Like this! Ready, clam? (grabs the clam, tries to lift it, sprains his back, and screams in pain) Well, SpongeBob, I think I might go catch a movie.
  
SpongeBob: The terrifying shriek must’ve come from this clam.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hey, what about the clam?
  
(the clam starts coughing violently)
+
'''Patrick''': Well, SpongeBob, I think I might go catch a movie.
  
SpongeBob: (Patrick mimicking) Hey, Patrick, I think there’s something wrong with…
+
'''SpongeBob''': But if... (the clam spits out a pearl) Patrick, the clam had a baby!
  
(clam coughing and wheezing)
+
'''Patrick''': That's not a baby, SpongeBob.
  
SpongeBob: W-W-What are we gonna do?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Well, then, what could it be?
  
Patrick: Well, the last time I remember coughing like that, I was sitting at home eating a box of Kelp Jerky.
+
'''Patrick''': I'll give you a hint: what's white, round, and comes out of clams?
  
SpongeBob: Oh, and you were coughing because you got something stuck in your throat?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Their...eyes?
  
Patrick: I got the TV remote stuck in my throat!
+
'''Patrick''': No, silly! A volleyball!
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, this clam is choking! Luckily, I come prepared! (pulls out a bottle of bubble soap) There, there, Clammy. (takes out bubble wand and spreads a line of soap under the clam’s bottom lip)
+
'''SpongeBob''': A baby volleyball! (bubble-wipe to Bikini Bottom Volley Ball Courts and Appraisal Center)
  
Patrick: SpongeBob, what are you doing?
+
'''Harold''': I got it! Ugh!
  
SpongeBob: They like this!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Good idea coming here, Patrick.
  
Patrick: No! You always give a choking victim the Slimelich Maneuver, first! And if that doesn’t work, you walk away and pretend like you never saw them before. (walks behind the clam) Like this! Ready, clam?
+
'''Patrick''': That's my specialty.
  
(grabs the clam, tries to lift it, sprains his back, and screams in pain)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Having good ideas?
  
Patrick: Well, SpongeBob, I think I might go catch a movie.
+
'''Patrick''': No, being called Patrick.
  
SpongeBob: Hey, what about the clam?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Maybe we should do some stretches, first.
  
Patrick: What clam? I’ve never seen that clam before in my life.
+
'''Patrick''': Good idea!
  
SpongeBob: But if…
+
'''SpongeBob''': Well, that's my specialty.
  
(the clam spits out a pearl)
+
'''Patrick''': Having good ideas?
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, the clam had a baby!
+
'''SpongeBob'''': Nope, doing some stretches first. (appraisal clerk is talking on phone)
  
Patrick: That’s not a baby, SpongeBob.
+
'''Clerk''': Yeah...no...I don't know, the thing's a hundred years old, how should I know? Yeah, alright, look, if you don't want it... (sees SpongeBob's pearl; dreamily) Uh-huh...yeah...we'll see...Huh, yeah. I'm...I'm...I'm still here. (hangs up)
  
SpongeBob: Well, then, what could it be?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hundred 38, hundred 39...
  
Patrick: I’ll give you a hint: what’s white, round, and comes out of clams?
+
'''Clerk''': Gentlemen.
  
SpongeBob: Their…eyes?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hello.
  
Patrick: No, silly! A volleyball!
+
'''Clerk''': I couldn't help noticing what a lovely ball that is.
  
SpongeBob: A baby volleyball!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, really?
  
(at Bikini Bottom Volley Ball Courts and Appraisal Center)
+
'''Clerk''': Yes. I'd sure like to get a closer look.
  
Harold: I got it! Ugh!
+
'''SpongeBob''': We don't mind, do we Patrick?
  
SpongeBob: Good idea coming here, Patrick.
+
'''Patrick''': Well, just don't take too long. We were just about to start playing with it.
  
Patrick: That’s my specialty.
+
'''Clerk''': Oh, it uh...it won't take long at all. (picks up pearl) Ooh, it's heavier than I imagined. And, uh, shinier, too. Where'd you find it?
  
SpongeBob: Having good ideas?
+
'''SpongeBob''': We found it deep in Jellyfish Fields.
  
Patrick: No, being called Patrick.
+
'''Clerk''': Really? What was it doing there?
  
SpongeBob: Maybe we should do some stretches, first.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Choking a clam.
  
Patrick: Good idea!
+
'''Clerk''': Well, um...ahem...what would you say if I were to offer you a small fortune in exchange for your shiny ball?
  
SpongeBob: Well, that’s my specialty.
+
'''Patrick''': What do you mean, "small fortune?" (bubble-wipe to a bunch of trucks, filled with cash, dumping money in front of SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob and Patrick are eating Kelp Jerky, watching the trucks go by)
  
Patrick: Having good ideas?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Whoa. How many more trucks do you think there'll be, Patrick?
  
SpongeBob: Nope, doing some stretches, first.
+
'''Patrick''': Huh? Oh, I don't know. I am getting kinda hungry, though. I'll catch up with you later, SpongeBob. (last truck leaves)
  
(appraisal clerk talking on phone)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Well, that looked like the last of them.
  
Clerk: Yeah…no…I don’t know, the thing’s a hundred years old, how should I know? Yeah, alright, look, if you don’t want it… (sees SpongeBob’s pearl) (dreamily) Uh-huh…yeah…we’ll see…Huh, yeah. I’m…I’m…I’m still here. (hangs up)
+
'''Patrick''': The last of what?
  
SpongeBob: 138, 139,
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, hey, Patrick.
  
Clerk: Gentlemen.
+
'''Patrick''': So, did you figure out what you're gonna do with this fat stack of cabbage, yet?
  
SpongeBob: Hello.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Yup...I mean, nope.
  
Clerk: I couldn’t help noticing what a lovely ball that is.
+
'''Patrick''': Well, my dad always told me: "When you have money, you need to do more than just spend it. You need to have a plan."
  
SpongeBob: Oh, really?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Wow, your dad really told you that?
  
Clerk: Yes. I’d sure like to get a closer look.
+
'''Patrick''': Well, what he said was, "How many times do I have to tell you not to stand there?" But I knew what he meant.
  
SpongeBob: We don’t mind, do we Patrick?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Patrick, I know a good place to go when you don't know what to buy.
  
Patrick: Well, just don’t take too long. We were just about to start playing with it.
+
'''Patrick''': You do?
  
Clerk: Oh, it uh…it won’t take long at all. (picks up pearl) Ooh, it’s heavier than I imagined. And, uh, shinier, too. Where’d you find it?
+
'''SpongeBob''': The mall! (he and Patrick go to the mall)
  
SpongeBob: We found it deep in Jellyfish Fields.
+
'''Both''': Whoo! (SpongeBob and Patrick play in Sports Zone. SpongeBob throws a baseball glove at Patrick) Touchdown! (they go look at baby clams) Awww! (two baby clams bite SpongeBob's eyes)
  
Clerk: Really? What was it doing there?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, where'd you go? (Patrick pulls off the clams) Oh, there you are. (they then go to listen to some songs on headphones. SpongeBob's headphones work, but Patrick's don't. He pulls at the cord without realizing that both their headphones are connected, and pulls off the top of SpongeBob's head, revealing his brain. Patrick notices and puts it back on, and SpongeBob puts his hand on Patrick's shoulder. Bubble-wipe to them heading home)
  
SpongeBob: Choking a clam.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, that was the best shopping day ever! (the money is reduced from the amount it had been before)
  
Clerk: Well, um…ahem…what would you say if I were to offer you a small fortune in exchange for your shiny ball?
+
'''Patrick''': You can say that again!
  
Patrick: What do you mean, ‘small fortune?’
+
'''SpongeBob''': Best shopping day ever! Patrick, I got an idea!
  
(hundreds of trucks bring cash to SpongeBob’s house while SpongeBob and Patrick eat Kelp Jerky)
+
'''Patrick''': Really?
  
SpongeBob: Whoa. How many more trucks do you think there’ll be, Patrick?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Let's go shopping again! And this time, buy stuff! (bubble-wipe to later in the day. SpongeBob and Patrick head home from the mall with shopping carts and money sticking out of their clothes) Oh, wasn't that incredible, Patrick? I mean, with all this money we could've bought anything in the whole world.
  
Patrick: Huh? Oh, I don’t know. I am getting kinda hungry, though. I’ll catch up with you later, SpongeBob.
+
'''Patrick''': Yup!
  
(last truck leaves)
+
'''SpongeBob''': So tell me, what'd you buy?
  
SpongeBob: Well, that looked like the last of them.
+
'''Patrick''': A lifetime supply of strawberry gum!
  
Patrick: The last of what?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hey, me, too! And to think we barely even put a dent in my fortune! (time card appears)
  
SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Patrick.
+
'''French Narrator''': ''The following Thursday...'' (cut to an ice cream stall)
  
Patrick: So, did you figure out what you’re gonna do with this fat stack of cabbage, yet?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Two, please: one for me and one for my best friend, Patrick.
  
SpongeBob: Yup…I mean, nope.
+
'''Vendor''': I didn't really ask who they're for.
  
Patrick: Well, my dad always told me: when you have money, you need to do more than just spend it. You need to have a plan.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Thanks. (gives him a wad of bills) There you go.
  
SpongeBob: Wow, your dad really told you that?
+
'''Vendor''': It was only 59 cents for the ice cream.
  
Patrick: Well, what he said was, ‘How many times do I have to tell you not to stand there?’ But I knew what he meant.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, that's okay. I kinda have more money than I know what to do with right now.
  
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, I know a good place to go when you don’t know what to buy.
+
'''Vendor''': Looks like my ex-wife was wrong. I am in the right line of work!
  
Patrick: You do?
+
'''Bill''': Uh, Triple-Gooberberry Sundae, please. Extra nuts.
  
SpongeBob: The mall!
+
'''Vendor''': Sure. That's gonna be $2.98.
  
(SpongeBob and Patrick go to the mall)
+
'''Bill''': Uh...hey Bert, you got like eight cents I can borrow?
  
Both: Whoo!
+
'''Bert''': Yeah, let me check... (checks for money, but he's broke) no, I don't, Bill. Sorry.
  
(SpongeBob throws a baseball glove a Patrick)
+
'''Bill''': You know, why is it I always have money when you need to borrow it?
  
Both: Rock Star!
+
'''Bert''': Well, I don't know what to say...I...
  
(they go look at baby clams)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Are you gentlemen low on funds? Let me help. (gives wad to Bill) Here you go.
  
Both: Aw!
+
'''Bill''': Whoa. Uh, t-that's okay, I just need eight cents.
  
(two bite at SpongeBob’s eyelids)
+
'''SpongeBob''': That's okay, I already got my ice cream. See?
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, where’d you go?
+
'''Bill''': Okay, um...thanks.
  
(Patrick pulls off the clams)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Sure thing. Do you need some, too, Bert?
  
SpongeBob: Oh, there you are.
+
'''Bert''': Okay!
  
(they then go to listen to headphones. SpongeBob’s headphones work, but Patrick’s don’t play any music. He pulls at the cord without realizing that both their headphones are connected, and pulls off the top of SpongeBob’s head, revealing his brain. Patrick puts it back on, and SpongeBob puts his hand on Patrick’s sholder)
+
'''Random fish''': Excuse me, can I have some, too?
  
(they head home)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, you wanna buy some ice cream?
  
SpongeBob: Patrick, that was the best shopping day ever!
+
'''Fish''': No, I'm allergic. But... I'll be you’re best friend.
  
Patrick: You can say that again!
+
'''SpongeBob''': It's a deal!
  
SpongeBob: Best shopping day ever! Patrick, I got an idea!
+
'''Bill''': Hey, I think I can hang out with this guy for a while.
  
Patrick: Really?
+
'''Bert''': Me, too!
  
SpongeBob: Let’s go shopping again! And this time, buy stuff!
+
'''Fish''': Me, too!
  
(they head home from the mall with shopping carts and money sticking out of their clothes)
+
'''Vendor''': Me, three! (crowd leaves with SpongeBob)
  
Spongebob: Oh, wasn’t that incredible, Patrick? I mean, with all this money, we could’ve bought anything in the whole world!
+
'''Patrick''': My ice cream? (bubble-wipe to Patrick walking up to SpongeBob's new mansion and knocking on the door)
  
Patrick: Yup!
+
'''Butler''': Hmm...yes?
  
SpongeBob: So tell me, what’d you buy?
+
'''Patrick''': Uh, I'm here to see SpongeBob.
  
Patrick: A lifetime supply of strawberry gum!
+
'''Butler''': And are you on the guest list, sir?
  
SpongeBob: Hey, me, too! And to think we barely even put a dent in my fortune!
+
'''Patrick''': Well, I don't think so. Normally, I...
  
Narrator: The following Thursday.
+
'''Butler''': Well, then, I'm afraid I can't let you in, sir. Good day, sir.
  
(at an ice cream stall)
+
'''Patrick''': Good day. Uh, your shoe's untied.
  
SpongeBob: Two, please: one for me and one for my best friend, Patrick.
+
'''Butler''': Hmm, right-o, it is. (Patrick walks inside) Thank you, sir. (notices that Patrick is gone)
  
Vendor: I didn’t really ask who they were for.
+
'''Bert''': And so, he was like, do you wanna buy some ice cream? Ha ha, ice cream! Can you imagine?
  
SpongeBob: Thanks. (gives him a wad of bills) There you go.
+
'''Bill''': Ha ha, yeah. Ah, I love that story!
  
Vendor: It was only fifty-nine cents for the ice cream.
+
'''Patrick''': Uh, hey guys, have you seen SpongeBob around?
  
SpongeBob: Oh, that’s okay. I kinda have more money than I know what to do with right now.
+
'''Bert''': Eh...is that guy talking to us?
  
Vendor: Looks like my ex-wife was wrong. I am in the right line of work!
+
'''Bill''': Just don't move. Or breathe. He might go away.
  
Bill: Uh, triple-blueberry sundae, please. Extra nuts.
+
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob? SpongeBob!
  
Vendor: Sure. That’s gonna be $2.98.
+
'''Nat''': Hey, pal, watch it. I can buy and sell you!
  
Bill: Uh…hey Bert, you got like eight cents I can borrow?
+
'''SpongeBob''': And I said, go ahead, let's do it right now! I got too much hair, anyways. (crowd laughs)
  
Bert: Yeah, let me check…no, I don’t, Bill, Sorry.
+
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob! SpongeBob?!
  
Bill: You know, why is it I always have money when you need to borrow it?
+
'''SpongeBob''': That's my name, don't wear it out.
  
Bert: Well, I don’t know what to say…I…
+
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, I gotta tell you something I think you should know. Your house is full of strangers!
  
SpongeBob: Are you gentlemen low on funds? Let me help. (gives wad to Bill) Here you go.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Oh, Patrick, these aren't strangers. These are 497 of my closest friends. Right everybody? (crowd cheers) That's right! (throws cash in the air. The crowd cheers and grabs for it) Patrick, do you hear that? That is the sound of love.
  
Bill: Whoa. Uh, t-that’s okay, I just need eight cents.
+
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob, if you keep throwing your money away like that, you won't have any left, and...
  
SpongeBob: That’s okay, I already got my ice cream. See?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Excuse me sir, is this man giving you trouble?
  
Bill: Okay, um…thanks.
+
'''Patrick''': SpongeBob!
  
SpongeBob: Sure thing. Do you need some, too, Bert?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Like I was saying...
  
Bert: Okay!
+
'''Patrick''': But...
  
Random fish: Excuse me, can I have some, too?
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': We don't want any trouble, now just keep moving. (throws Patrick on the sidewalk)
  
SpongeBob: Oh, you wanna buy some ice cream?
+
'''Teenage fish''': Dude, how do you get in there? (cut to SpongeBob with no money at his pants)
  
Fish: No, I’m allergic. But, I’ll be you’re best friend.
+
'''SpongeBob''': And I told him, it's not that I mind the macaroni, what I mind is--
  
SpongeBob: It’s a deal!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Sorry about that, SpongeBob. Won't happen again.
  
Bill: Hey, I think I can hang out with this guy for a while.
+
'''SpongeBob''': No matter, he's simply jealous of my glamorous new lifestyle.
  
Bert: Me, too!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': Say, that reminds me...can I have some money?
  
Fish: Me, too!
+
'''SpongeBob''': Why, certainly. I always remember to... (checks his pocket but it's empty. Crowd gasps) Oh, I forgot. I keep it in this other pocket. (another empty pocket. Crowd gasps loudly) Uh, will you please excuse me for a moment? (goes around checking his giant safe, piggy bank, a golden toilet, under his mattress, and inside Gary's shell but no money is anywhere) NO...! (returns to the party) Well, everyone, I hope this doesn't put a damper on things, but I just checked and, well it's just that all my money is...gone. (cut to reveal that everybody is gone. Falls and Mr. Krabs walks by)
  
Vendor: Me, three!
+
'''Mr. Krabs''': (furiously) Don't be late for work tomorrow, boy. (bubble-wipe to Patrick's rock where Patrick is just laying back on it as SpongeBob comes)
  
(crowd leaves with SpongeBob)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Hey, Patrick.
  
Patrick: Ice cream?
+
'''Patrick''': Oh. Hey, SpongeBob.
  
(Patrick knocks on SpongeBob’s new mansion)
+
'''SpongeBob''': Whatcha doing?
  
Butler: Hmm…yes?
+
'''Patrick''': Oh, the same thing us sea stars are usually doing, I guess. Laying up against a rock.
  
Patrick: Uh…I’m here to see SpongeBob.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, I was wrong.
  
Butler: And are you on the guest list, sir?
+
'''Patrick''': About what?
  
Patrick: Well, I don’t think so. Normally, I…
+
'''SpongeBob''': The money, and about those people being my friends.
  
Butler: Well, then, I’m afraid I can’t let you in, sir. Good day, sir.
+
'''Patrick''': There is no right or wrong when it comes to that stuff, SpongeBob. There just either is or there isn't.
  
Patrick: Good day. Uh, your shoe’s untied.
+
'''SpongeBob''': Patrick, if having a bunch of money makes me forget that you're my best friend, then I don't want any more money, ever again.
  
Butler: Hmm, right-o, it is. (Patrick walks inside) Thank you, sir.
+
'''Patrick''': Well, why didn't you say so, buddy? I've been waiting for someone to go break in my new volleyball with!
  
Bert: And so, he was like, do you wanna buy some ice cream? Ha ha, ice cream! Can you imagine?
+
'''SpongeBob''': You got another new volleyball?
  
Bill: Ha ha, yeah. Ah, I love that story!
+
'''Patrick''': Yup, I found it!
  
Patrick: Uh, hey guys. Have you seen SpongeBob around?
+
'''SpongeBob''': Found it? Where?
  
Bert: Eh…is that guy talking to us?
+
'''Patrick''': Inside the Bikini Bottom Diamond Mine! (shows a large, glowing diamond to SpongeBob)
 
+
Bill: Just don’t move. Or breathe. He might go away.
+
 
+
Patrick: SpongeBob? SpongeBob!
+
 
+
Peterson: Hey, pal, watch it. I can buy and sell you!
+
 
+
SpongeBob: And I said, go ahead, let’s do it right now! I got too much hair, anyways.
+
 
+
(crowd laughs)
+
 
+
Patrick: SpongeBob? SpongeBob!
+
 
+
SpongeBob: That’s my name, don’t wear it out.
+
 
+
Patrick: SpongeBob, I gotta tell you something I think you should know: your house is full of strangers!
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick, these aren’t strangers. These are 497 of my closest friends. Right everybody? (crowd cheers) That right!
+
 
+
(SpongeBob throws cash in the air and the crowd cheers and grabs for it)
+
 
+
Spongebob: Patrick, do you hear that? That is the sound of love.
+
 
+
Patrick: SpongeBob, if you keep throwing your money away like that, you won’t have any left to…
+
 
+
Mr. Krabs: Excuse me sir, is this man giving you trouble?
+
 
+
Patrick: SpongeBob!
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Like I was saying…
+
 
+
Patrick: But…
+
 
+
Mr. Krabs: We don’t want any trouble, now just keep moving.
+
 
+
Teenage fish: Dude, how do you get in there?
+
 
+
SpongeBob: And I told him, it’s not that I mind the macaroni, what I mind is…
+
 
+
Mr. Krabs: Sorry about that, SpongeBob. Won’t happen again.
+
 
+
SpongeBob: No matter, he’s simply jealous of my glamorous new lifestyle.
+
 
+
Mr. Krabs: Say, that reminds me…can I have some money?
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Why certainly. I always remember to…(pulls out empty pocket. Crowd gasps) Oh, I forgot. I keep it in this other pocket. (empty pocket. Crowd gasps) Uh, will you excuse me for a moment?
+
 
+
(SpongeBob goes around checking his safe, piggy bank, golden toilet, and Gary’s shell. He has no money left)
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Noooooooooo! (walks back to party) Well, everyone, I hope this doesn’t put a damper on things, but I just checked and, well it’s just that all my money is… (everyone is gone) …gone. (Falls to face-down to the floor)
+
 
+
Mr. Krabs: Don’t be late for work tomorrow, boy.
+
 
+
(Patrick’s rock)
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.
+
 
+
Patrick: Oh, hey SpongeBob.
+
 
+
SpongeBob: Whatcha doing?
+
 
+
Patrick: Oh, the same thing us sea stars are usually doing, I guess. Laying up against a rock.
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SpongeBob: Patrick, I was wrong.
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Patrick: About what?
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SpongeBob: The money, and about those people being my friends.
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Patrick: There is no right or wrong when it comes to that stuff, SpongeBob. There just either ‘is’ or there ‘isn’t.’
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SpongeBob: Patrick, if having a bunch of money makes me forget that forget that you’re my best friend, then I don’t want anymore money, ever again.
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Patrick: Well, why didn’t you say so, buddy? I’ve been waiting for someone to go break in my new volleyball with!
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SpongeBob: You got another new volleyball?
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Patrick: Yup, I found it!
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SpongeBob: Found it? Where?
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Patrick: Inside the Bikini Bottom Diamond Mine! (Shows a large, glowing diamond to SpongeBob)
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{{Transcripts/Season 6}}
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{{Transcripts/Season 6 Ver. 2}}
 
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Latest revision as of 22:38, 9 October 2024

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
SpongeBob SquarePants vs. The Big One Choir Boys

Episode Article: Porous Pockets

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

SpongeBob: (walking around in a small circle in Jellyfish Fields) Ahh, nothing quite like a relaxing stroll (deep voice) deep (normal) in Jellyfish Fields. (a high pitched scream can be heard in the distance) I'd know that sound anywhere! It's a terrifying shriek! But where's it coming from? (looks from behind a rock and finds Patrick shrieking) Patrick, what is with all the shrieking? You know I walk here on Tuesdays.

Patrick: Sorry, SpongeBob. That wasn't me.

SpongeBob: Patrick, I know I heard a terrifying shriek.

Patrick: So did I, SpongeBob, but I was just mimicking it. (mimics everything SpongeBob says)

SpongeBob: So, you were mimicking it. Patrick, please don't do that. It is really... (terrifying shriek is heard) Wait a minute, if the shriek wasn't coming from you, then where was it...? It's over there behind that kelp shrub. (a giant clam behind the kelp bush is shrieking) The terrifying shriek must've come from this clam. (the clam starts coughing violently) Hey, Patrick, I think there's something wrong with... (the clam is coughing and wheezing) W-W-What are we gonna do?

Patrick: Well, the last time I remember coughing like that, I was sitting at home eating a box of Kelp Jerky.

SpongeBob: Oh, and you were coughing because you got something stuck in your throat?

Patrick: I got the TV remote stuck in my throat!

SpongeBob: Patrick, this clam is choking! Luckily, I come prepared! (pulls out a bottle of bubble soap) There, there, Clammy. (takes out bubble wand and spreads a line of soap under the clam's bottom lip)

Patrick: SpongeBob, what are you doing?

SpongeBob: They like this!

Patrick: No! You always give a choking victim the Slimelich Maneuver, first. And if that doesn't work, you walk away and pretend like you never saw them before. (walks behind the clam) Like this! Ready, clam? (grabs the clam, tries to lift it, sprains his back, and screams in pain) Well, SpongeBob, I think I might go catch a movie.

SpongeBob: Hey, what about the clam?

Patrick: Well, SpongeBob, I think I might go catch a movie.

SpongeBob: But if... (the clam spits out a pearl) Patrick, the clam had a baby!

Patrick: That's not a baby, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Well, then, what could it be?

Patrick: I'll give you a hint: what's white, round, and comes out of clams?

SpongeBob: Their...eyes?

Patrick: No, silly! A volleyball!

SpongeBob: A baby volleyball! (bubble-wipe to Bikini Bottom Volley Ball Courts and Appraisal Center)

Harold: I got it! Ugh!

SpongeBob: Good idea coming here, Patrick.

Patrick: That's my specialty.

SpongeBob: Having good ideas?

Patrick: No, being called Patrick.

SpongeBob: Maybe we should do some stretches, first.

Patrick: Good idea!

SpongeBob: Well, that's my specialty.

Patrick: Having good ideas?

SpongeBob': Nope, doing some stretches first. (appraisal clerk is talking on phone)

Clerk: Yeah...no...I don't know, the thing's a hundred years old, how should I know? Yeah, alright, look, if you don't want it... (sees SpongeBob's pearl; dreamily) Uh-huh...yeah...we'll see...Huh, yeah. I'm...I'm...I'm still here. (hangs up)

SpongeBob: Hundred 38, hundred 39...

Clerk: Gentlemen.

SpongeBob: Hello.

Clerk: I couldn't help noticing what a lovely ball that is.

SpongeBob: Oh, really?

Clerk: Yes. I'd sure like to get a closer look.

SpongeBob: We don't mind, do we Patrick?

Patrick: Well, just don't take too long. We were just about to start playing with it.

Clerk: Oh, it uh...it won't take long at all. (picks up pearl) Ooh, it's heavier than I imagined. And, uh, shinier, too. Where'd you find it?

SpongeBob: We found it deep in Jellyfish Fields.

Clerk: Really? What was it doing there?

SpongeBob: Choking a clam.

Clerk: Well, um...ahem...what would you say if I were to offer you a small fortune in exchange for your shiny ball?

Patrick: What do you mean, "small fortune?" (bubble-wipe to a bunch of trucks, filled with cash, dumping money in front of SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob and Patrick are eating Kelp Jerky, watching the trucks go by)

SpongeBob: Whoa. How many more trucks do you think there'll be, Patrick?

Patrick: Huh? Oh, I don't know. I am getting kinda hungry, though. I'll catch up with you later, SpongeBob. (last truck leaves)

SpongeBob: Well, that looked like the last of them.

Patrick: The last of what?

SpongeBob: Oh, hey, Patrick.

Patrick: So, did you figure out what you're gonna do with this fat stack of cabbage, yet?

SpongeBob: Yup...I mean, nope.

Patrick: Well, my dad always told me: "When you have money, you need to do more than just spend it. You need to have a plan."

SpongeBob: Wow, your dad really told you that?

Patrick: Well, what he said was, "How many times do I have to tell you not to stand there?" But I knew what he meant.

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, I know a good place to go when you don't know what to buy.

Patrick: You do?

SpongeBob: The mall! (he and Patrick go to the mall)

Both: Whoo! (SpongeBob and Patrick play in Sports Zone. SpongeBob throws a baseball glove at Patrick) Touchdown! (they go look at baby clams) Awww! (two baby clams bite SpongeBob's eyes)

SpongeBob: Patrick, where'd you go? (Patrick pulls off the clams) Oh, there you are. (they then go to listen to some songs on headphones. SpongeBob's headphones work, but Patrick's don't. He pulls at the cord without realizing that both their headphones are connected, and pulls off the top of SpongeBob's head, revealing his brain. Patrick notices and puts it back on, and SpongeBob puts his hand on Patrick's shoulder. Bubble-wipe to them heading home)

SpongeBob: Patrick, that was the best shopping day ever! (the money is reduced from the amount it had been before)

Patrick: You can say that again!

SpongeBob: Best shopping day ever! Patrick, I got an idea!

Patrick: Really?

SpongeBob: Let's go shopping again! And this time, buy stuff! (bubble-wipe to later in the day. SpongeBob and Patrick head home from the mall with shopping carts and money sticking out of their clothes) Oh, wasn't that incredible, Patrick? I mean, with all this money we could've bought anything in the whole world.

Patrick: Yup!

SpongeBob: So tell me, what'd you buy?

Patrick: A lifetime supply of strawberry gum!

SpongeBob: Hey, me, too! And to think we barely even put a dent in my fortune! (time card appears)

French Narrator: The following Thursday... (cut to an ice cream stall)

SpongeBob: Two, please: one for me and one for my best friend, Patrick.

Vendor: I didn't really ask who they're for.

SpongeBob: Thanks. (gives him a wad of bills) There you go.

Vendor: It was only 59 cents for the ice cream.

SpongeBob: Oh, that's okay. I kinda have more money than I know what to do with right now.

Vendor: Looks like my ex-wife was wrong. I am in the right line of work!

Bill: Uh, Triple-Gooberberry Sundae, please. Extra nuts.

Vendor: Sure. That's gonna be $2.98.

Bill: Uh...hey Bert, you got like eight cents I can borrow?

Bert: Yeah, let me check... (checks for money, but he's broke) no, I don't, Bill. Sorry.

Bill: You know, why is it I always have money when you need to borrow it?

Bert: Well, I don't know what to say...I...

SpongeBob: Are you gentlemen low on funds? Let me help. (gives wad to Bill) Here you go.

Bill: Whoa. Uh, t-that's okay, I just need eight cents.

SpongeBob: That's okay, I already got my ice cream. See?

Bill: Okay, um...thanks.

SpongeBob: Sure thing. Do you need some, too, Bert?

Bert: Okay!

Random fish: Excuse me, can I have some, too?

SpongeBob: Oh, you wanna buy some ice cream?

Fish: No, I'm allergic. But... I'll be you’re best friend.

SpongeBob: It's a deal!

Bill: Hey, I think I can hang out with this guy for a while.

Bert: Me, too!

Fish: Me, too!

Vendor: Me, three! (crowd leaves with SpongeBob)

Patrick: My ice cream? (bubble-wipe to Patrick walking up to SpongeBob's new mansion and knocking on the door)

Butler: Hmm...yes?

Patrick: Uh, I'm here to see SpongeBob.

Butler: And are you on the guest list, sir?

Patrick: Well, I don't think so. Normally, I...

Butler: Well, then, I'm afraid I can't let you in, sir. Good day, sir.

Patrick: Good day. Uh, your shoe's untied.

Butler: Hmm, right-o, it is. (Patrick walks inside) Thank you, sir. (notices that Patrick is gone)

Bert: And so, he was like, do you wanna buy some ice cream? Ha ha, ice cream! Can you imagine?

Bill: Ha ha, yeah. Ah, I love that story!

Patrick: Uh, hey guys, have you seen SpongeBob around?

Bert: Eh...is that guy talking to us?

Bill: Just don't move. Or breathe. He might go away.

Patrick: SpongeBob? SpongeBob!

Nat: Hey, pal, watch it. I can buy and sell you!

SpongeBob: And I said, go ahead, let's do it right now! I got too much hair, anyways. (crowd laughs)

Patrick: SpongeBob! SpongeBob?!

SpongeBob: That's my name, don't wear it out.

Patrick: SpongeBob, I gotta tell you something I think you should know. Your house is full of strangers!

SpongeBob: Oh, Patrick, these aren't strangers. These are 497 of my closest friends. Right everybody? (crowd cheers) That's right! (throws cash in the air. The crowd cheers and grabs for it) Patrick, do you hear that? That is the sound of love.

Patrick: SpongeBob, if you keep throwing your money away like that, you won't have any left, and...

Mr. Krabs: Excuse me sir, is this man giving you trouble?

Patrick: SpongeBob!

SpongeBob: Like I was saying...

Patrick: But...

Mr. Krabs: We don't want any trouble, now just keep moving. (throws Patrick on the sidewalk)

Teenage fish: Dude, how do you get in there? (cut to SpongeBob with no money at his pants)

SpongeBob: And I told him, it's not that I mind the macaroni, what I mind is--

Mr. Krabs: Sorry about that, SpongeBob. Won't happen again.

SpongeBob: No matter, he's simply jealous of my glamorous new lifestyle.

Mr. Krabs: Say, that reminds me...can I have some money?

SpongeBob: Why, certainly. I always remember to... (checks his pocket but it's empty. Crowd gasps) Oh, I forgot. I keep it in this other pocket. (another empty pocket. Crowd gasps loudly) Uh, will you please excuse me for a moment? (goes around checking his giant safe, piggy bank, a golden toilet, under his mattress, and inside Gary's shell but no money is anywhere) NO...! (returns to the party) Well, everyone, I hope this doesn't put a damper on things, but I just checked and, well it's just that all my money is...gone. (cut to reveal that everybody is gone. Falls and Mr. Krabs walks by)

Mr. Krabs: (furiously) Don't be late for work tomorrow, boy. (bubble-wipe to Patrick's rock where Patrick is just laying back on it as SpongeBob comes)

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick.

Patrick: Oh. Hey, SpongeBob.

SpongeBob: Whatcha doing?

Patrick: Oh, the same thing us sea stars are usually doing, I guess. Laying up against a rock.

SpongeBob: Patrick, I was wrong.

Patrick: About what?

SpongeBob: The money, and about those people being my friends.

Patrick: There is no right or wrong when it comes to that stuff, SpongeBob. There just either is or there isn't.

SpongeBob: Patrick, if having a bunch of money makes me forget that you're my best friend, then I don't want any more money, ever again.

Patrick: Well, why didn't you say so, buddy? I've been waiting for someone to go break in my new volleyball with!

SpongeBob: You got another new volleyball?

Patrick: Yup, I found it!

SpongeBob: Found it? Where?

Patrick: Inside the Bikini Bottom Diamond Mine! (shows a large, glowing diamond to SpongeBob)


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
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