Episode Transcript: The Card

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(SpongeBob searches for a rare trading card.)
 
 
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Quincy: Next! Oh no...
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{|border="1"
SpongeBob:  Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?
+
|-bgcolor="#CCCCCC"
Quincy: Spongebob...what can I do for you?
+
!Back Episode Transcript
SpongeBob: The new Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.
+
!Next Episode Transcript
Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.
+
|-
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)
+
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Krusty Krushers|Krusty Krushers]]
Quincy: Nice...bunnies.
+
|align="center"| [[Episode Transcript: Dear Vikings|Dear Vikings]]
SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering): I wanted the one with the kittens on it.
+
|}
Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.
+
 
SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaidman. It simply won't do.
+
Episode Article: [[The Card (Episode)|The Card]]
Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaidman, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)
+
 
SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.
+
==Characters==
Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?
+
*[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]]
Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawls to make, ya know?
+
*[[Patrick Star|Patrick]]
All customers: (complaining)
+
*[[Fred]]
SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaidman. And I'm not leaving until I have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank)Whoa!
+
*[[Quincy]]
All customers: (cheering)
+
*[[Frank (cameo character)]]
SpongeBob and Patrick are at Near Mint Comic Books.
+
 
Patrick: One, two, three, four...
+
==Dialogue==
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading cards?
+
(episode begins at the bank)
Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? FIVE? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...
+
 
SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaidman and Barnacleboy cards, please.
+
'''Quincy:''' Next! Oh, no...
Comic book dealer: (gets a pack of cards)
+
 
SpongeBob: All right!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?
Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?
+
 
SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.
+
'''Quincy:''' SpongeBob... what can I do for you?
Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.
+
 
Patrick: Seventeen...
+
'''SpongeBob:''' The new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.
SpongeBob: So...shiny...and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah..oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaidman's bubble-powered wheelchair from season twelve! And Barnacleboy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaidman used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode four hundred two! Wow! These mustbe the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.
+
 
Comic book dealer: Ha ha! Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum holagram animated talking card: number fifty-four.
+
'''Quincy:''' Ugh. Let me see your bank book.
Voice: Mermaidman says: (fist swings by and hits Barnacleboy)
+
 
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)
Comic book dealer: There are only five in existance.
+
 
SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?
+
'''Quincy:''' Nice... bunnies.
Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.
+
 
SpongeBob: (buys another pack)Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm...no. (process continues until there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card fifty-four!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering) I wanted the one with the kittens on it.
Patrick: Ninety-six, ninety-seven, ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?
+
 
SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...
+
'''Quincy:''' Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.
Voice: Mermaidman says:
+
 
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaid Man. It simply won't do.
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! That's the best card there is!
+
 
Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)
+
'''Quincy:''' I don't think they go directly to Mermaid Man, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)
SpongeBob: Aaahhhhh!! Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!
+
 
Patrick: I'm preventing dentelitis.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.
SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number fifty-four talking card! It's really valuable and there's only five in existance. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla1 Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?
+
 
Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card)
+
'''Customer in line:''' Come on! Would ya hurry up?
They run out of the store.
+
 
SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaidman and Barnacleboy would never forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand)Phew! Now watch where you're going!
+
'''Customer with mask and money bag:''' Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know? (all customers are complaining)
Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.
+
 
SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) Ha, that was close.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaid Man. And I'm not leaving until I  
Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.
+
have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa! (the customers are now cheering. Bubble-wipe to Near Mint Comic Books)
SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander aimlessly around like you've been...
+
 
Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)
+
'''Patrick:''' One, two, three, four...
SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into Goo Lagoon?
+
 
Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes. (falls from a constroction site and almost lands in fire)
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading cards?
SpongeBob: AAHHH! (jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.
+
 
Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. (Pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.
+
'''Patrick:''' No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? Five? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...
SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaidman and Barnacleboy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!
+
 
Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square not, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' One pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards, please. (the comic book dealer gets a pack of cards) All right!
SpongeBob: You mean...you'd give me your most valuable posession?
+
 
Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable posession? (They hug.)
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' Not so fast! Where's my dollar?
SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.
+
 
Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.
SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.
+
 
Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' Here you go, kid.
SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.
+
 
Patrick: Well good. Cuz' my landlord changed the lock again.
+
'''Patrick:''' 17...
SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.
+
 
Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaid Man's bubble-powered wheelchair from season 12! And Barnacle Boy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaid Man used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode 402! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.
SponeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe...that you shouldn't...
+
 
Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' (laughs) Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number 54.
SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!
+
 
Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)
+
'''Announcer:''' (over ''Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy'' theme) ''Mermaid Man says...'' (fist swings by and hits Barnacle Boy, while Mermaid Man barely ducks out of the way)
SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!
+
 
Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!
+
'''Mermaid Man:''' Buy more cards!
SpongeBob: Ew.
+
 
Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card)
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' There are only five in existence.
Mermaidman: Buy car..dddd
+
 
Patrick: Burp! Oh! That hit the spot! Pardon me! (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' How much is it? For this one?
Mermaidman: Zzzbbb.. Buy card! (card blows up)
+
 
SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away
+
'''Comic book dealer:''' This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.
Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?
+
 
SpongeBob: Now I'll never have card fifty-four. The talking one.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card 54!
Patrick: Aw...sure you will.
+
 
SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack. So there's no more left in Bikini Bottom.
+
'''Patrick:''' 96, 97, 98, 99, 100! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?
Patrick: Well, how about these. (pulls out four trading cards)
+
 
Mermaidman: Buy more cards!
+
'''SpongeBob:''' No, it's just a number...
SpongeBob: Number fifty-four! Patrick, where did you get these?
+
 
Patrick: Well, the bag I bought was full of 'em.
+
'''Announcer:''' (over ''MM&BB'' theme) ''Mermaid Man says...'' (fist punches Barnacle Boy)
SpongeBob: May I have one?
+
 
Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tommorow.
+
'''Mermaid Man:''' Buy more cards!
SpongeBob: Wow!
+
 
Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out of the house again.
+
'''SpongeBob:''' Number 54! That's the best card there is!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' (screams) Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' I'm preventing gingivitis.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number 54 talking card! It's really valuable and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card. SpongeBob and Patrick run out of the store)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand) Phew! Now watch where you're going!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Okay. Thanks, buddy.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) Ha, that was close.
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander aimlessly around like you've been...
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into Goo Lagoon?
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' (screams, jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. (pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession?
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' I'd give you my most valuable possession? (they hug)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' You're the best pal ever.
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Sure, pal. Anything for you.
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Um, sure Patrick.
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Well, good. 'Cause my landlord changed the lock again.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe... that you shouldn't...
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Patrick! The card! It's on fire!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Ew. (bubble-wipe to that evening)
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card. SpongeBob is sitting at a sand table. He pulls a hamburger off of the card)
 +
 
 +
'''Mermaid Man:''' ''More car.. dddd...''
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' (burps) Oh! That hit the spot. Pardon me. (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.
 +
 
 +
'''Mermaid Man:''' (over warped music) ''Zzzbbb... more cards...'' (card blows up in SpongeBob's hand)
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away. His eyes blow water out. The water harms Patrick)
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' SpongeBob, what's wrong?
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy card number 54. The special talking one!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Aw... sure you will.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack! So there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)
 +
 
 +
'''Announcer:''' (over ''MM&BB'' theme) ''Mermaid Man says...'' (fist punches Barnacle Boy)
 +
 
 +
'''Mermaid Man:''' Buy more cards!
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' (whispers) Number 54! Patrick, where did you get these?
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Well, that pack I bought was filled with 'em.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' May I have one?
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.
 +
 
 +
'''SpongeBob:''' Wow!
 +
 
 +
'''Patrick:''' Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out of my house again.
 +
 
 +
{{Transcripts/Season 6 Ver. 2}}
 +
[[Category:Transcript]]
 +
[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 6]]

Latest revision as of 23:31, 5 October 2024

Back Episode Transcript Next Episode Transcript
Krusty Krushers Dear Vikings

Episode Article: The Card

[edit] Characters

[edit] Dialogue

(episode begins at the bank)

Quincy: Next! Oh, no...

SpongeBob: Hey, Quincy! How's my favorite money-man?

Quincy: SpongeBob... what can I do for you?

SpongeBob: The new Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards come out today! So I need to take out some mon-ey.

Quincy: Ugh. Let me see your bank book.

SpongeBob: Sure thing, Quincy, sure thing. (takes out his bank book)

Quincy: Nice... bunnies.

SpongeBob: I know, I know. It's so embarrassing. (Whispering) I wanted the one with the kittens on it.

Quincy: Right. (pulls out SpongeBob's money) Here you are, sir.

SpongeBob: Thank you. Hm... Um, Quincy, this one is wrinkled. I couldn't possibly give this to Mermaid Man. It simply won't do.

Quincy: I don't think they go directly to Mermaid Man, SpongeBob. But, um. Here. Try this one. (hands SpongeBob a dollar.)

SpongeBob: (sniffs the dollar) This one... smells funny.

Customer in line: Come on! Would ya hurry up?

Customer with mask and money bag: Yeah, some of us have withdrawals to make, ya know? (all customers are complaining)

SpongeBob: Well, I'll have you know that this is for Mermaid Man. And I'm not leaving until I have money that shows him the proper respect. (gets kicked out of bank) Whoa! (the customers are now cheering. Bubble-wipe to Near Mint Comic Books)

Patrick: One, two, three, four...

SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Counting up your change for a pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading cards?

Patrick: No, I'm thinking about buying this book on counting. Three, four. What's gonna happen next? Five? Holy super-happy-fun-time! This book's good! I'll take it! One, two, three...

SpongeBob: One pack of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy cards, please. (the comic book dealer gets a pack of cards) All right!

Comic book dealer: Not so fast! Where's my dollar?

SpongeBob: (pulls out a roll of dollars and pulls one off) Here you are, my good sir.

Comic book dealer: Here you go, kid.

Patrick: 17...

SpongeBob: So... shiny... and smooth! (rubs it against his face and smells it) Ah... oh! Oh! (opens cards) Oooh! Mermaid Man's bubble-powered wheelchair from season 12! And Barnacle Boy's bunion! Holy scallops! It's the dentures that Mermaid Man used to pop the Dirty Bubble in episode 402! Wow! These must be the most valuable cards in the world! I'll treasure them forever.

Comic book dealer: (laughs) Those cards aren't worth nothin'. I wouldn't put those cards in the spokes of my bike. Now, if you wanna see a card worth talkin' about, check this one out. This is the super-rare platinum hologram animated talking card: number 54.

Announcer: (over Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy theme) Mermaid Man says... (fist swings by and hits Barnacle Boy, while Mermaid Man barely ducks out of the way)

Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!

Comic book dealer: There are only five in existence.

SpongeBob: How much is it? For this one?

Comic book dealer: This one's just a display. If you want a real one, you'll have to buy as many packs as you can and hope you get lucky.

SpongeBob: (buys another pack) Oh, I have a good feeling about this one. Oh, come on. And it's... not there. (throws the cards and buys more) Mmmmmmm... no. (process continues until there is only one pack left) OHHHHH! I'll never find card 54!

Patrick: 96, 97, 98, 99, 100! Oh! I hate counting! Just give me what he's having! Oh, boy! Let's see which card I got! Is this a good card, SpongeBob?

SpongeBob: No, it's just a number...

Announcer: (over MM&BB theme) Mermaid Man says... (fist punches Barnacle Boy)

Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!

SpongeBob: Number 54! That's the best card there is!

Patrick: It sure does, the job, all right. (flossing his teeth with number fifty-four)

SpongeBob: (screams) Patrick, you're picking your teeth with it!

Patrick: I'm preventing gingivitis.

SpongeBob: Patrick! That's the ultra-rare number 54 talking card! It's really valuable and there's only five in existence. And bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla blee bla bla! Blee blee bla Patrick! Bla bla blzzz! So now do you understand why you should take really could care of that card?

Patrick: Yes, sir. (starts picking his teeth with the card. SpongeBob and Patrick run out of the store)

SpongeBob: I can't let anything happen to that card. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy would never forgive me! Patrick, watch out! You almost tripped on that crack. (puts card in tiny seat belt on Patrick's hand) Phew! Now watch where you're going!

Patrick: Okay. Thanks, buddy.

SpongeBob: Patrick, look out! (jumps in front of Patrick to avoid mud from hitting the card) Ha, that was close.

Patrick: Ha, ha. SpongeBob fly.

SpongeBob: Patrick, this is serious. You're carrying precious cargo now. You can't just wander aimlessly around like you've been...

Patrick: What? (walks into Goo Lagoon)

SpongeBob: The card! (stops the card from going underwater) Patrick, why'd you just walk into Goo Lagoon?

Patrick: SpongeBob, you can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes. (falls from a construction site and almost lands in fire)

SpongeBob: (screams, jumps in a crane, saves Patrick and drags him back to his home) Here we are! Home safe home! And nothing happened to the card.

Patrick: Good job, SpongeBob. Now let me just get my keys. (pulls out ice cream cone) Nope. (pulls out key) There you are. I knew you were in there somewhere.

SpongeBob: The super-rare and priceless Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy trading card! Patrick! Where is it? Where is it? Dear Neptune! You didn't put it in your pocket, did you? It's getting all bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent up! Bent, bent, bent, bent up!

Patrick: Sheesh. Don't get your pants up in a square knot, SpongeBob. I don't even believe in pockets. I keep everything I need right here. In the folds of my back fat. (pulls card out of his back) You seem to be pretty fond of this little thing. Why don't you just keep it?

SpongeBob: You mean... you'd give me your most valuable possession?

Patrick: I'd give you my most valuable possession? (they hug)

SpongeBob: You're the best pal ever.

Patrick: I'm the best pal ever. But can you do me one favor?

SpongeBob: Sure, pal. Anything for you.

Patrick: Do you mind if I hold on to it? Just for today?

SpongeBob: Um, sure Patrick.

Patrick: Well, good. 'Cause my landlord changed the lock again.

SpongeBob: Patrick, wait! Let me call the locksmith.

Patrick: Oh! I don't need any old locksmith.

SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick? Patrick? Patrick! Don't ya think maybe... that you shouldn't...

Patrick: Ugh! Man, this card is fantastic! (Patrick's stomach growls) Breaking and entering sure makes a fella hungry. Hey, why don't we eat some dinner? And then I'll give you your card. (gets a barbecue grill) Ew! This barbecue's really filthy. Oh, but this'll take care of it.

SpongeBob: No, wait, Patrick! Allow me to clean it!

Patrick: Now, now, SpongeBob I know you wanna help, but you're my guest. (scrapes grill with talking card) There! Nice and shiny! (lights card on fire and burns charcoal with it)

SpongeBob: Patrick! The card! It's on fire!

Patrick: Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll take care of it. (spits on card) There! Good as new!

SpongeBob: Ew. (bubble-wipe to that evening)

Patrick: (flips burgers with card) Dinner is served. (serves hamburgers on the card. SpongeBob is sitting at a sand table. He pulls a hamburger off of the card)

Mermaid Man: More car.. dddd...

Patrick: (burps) Oh! That hit the spot. Pardon me. (wipes his face with the card) Hey! Look at that! Sundown already? Well, you can have your card now. I hope you get as much use out of it as I have.

Mermaid Man: (over warped music) Zzzbbb... more cards... (card blows up in SpongeBob's hand)

SpongeBob: Oh, it's ruined! (cries and runs away. His eyes blow water out. The water harms Patrick)

Patrick: SpongeBob, what's wrong?

SpongeBob: Now I'll never have Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy card number 54. The special talking one!

Patrick: Aw... sure you will.

SpongeBob: No, no! I spent all my money! And, and, and, and you bought the last pack! So there's no more left in all of Bikini Bottom.

Patrick: Well, how about these? (pulls out four trading cards)

Announcer: (over MM&BB theme) Mermaid Man says... (fist punches Barnacle Boy)

Mermaid Man: Buy more cards!

SpongeBob: (whispers) Number 54! Patrick, where did you get these?

Patrick: Well, that pack I bought was filled with 'em.

SpongeBob: May I have one?

Patrick: They're all yours, buddy. See ya tomorrow.

SpongeBob: Wow!

Patrick: Oh! Hey, SpongeBob? Can I borrow one of those cards? I locked myself out of my house again.


Transcripts Episodes
Season 1 Season 1
Season 2 Season 2
Season 3 Season 3
Season 4 Season 4
Season 5 Season 5
Season 6 Season 6
Season 7 Season 7
Season 8 Season 8
Season 9 Season 9
Season 10 Season 10
Season 11 Season 11
Season 12 Season 12
Season 13 Season 13
Season 14 Season 14
Season 15 Season 15
<< Season 5 SpongeBob SquarePants - Transcripts - Season 6 Season 7 >>
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