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| + | {{Unfinished Transcript}} |
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| This is the transcript for [[Squidward in Clarinetland (Episode)]]. | | This is the transcript for [[Squidward in Clarinetland (Episode)]]. |
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| '''Squidward:''' Not a problem SpongeBob (put's hat back on) Not a problem at all | | '''Squidward:''' Not a problem SpongeBob (put's hat back on) Not a problem at all |
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− | Mr. Krabs: Specials? We don't have specials! [scratches the slateboard while people can't stand the screeching sound except Squidward]
| + | {{Transcripts/Season 7}} |
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− | Squidward: Good morning, sir! Welcome to the Krusty Krab.
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− | Thaddeus: Uh... I'll think I'll have a Krabby Patty.
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− | [His bad breath punches Squidward, plugs his nose, and he is still happy.]
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− | Squidward: One Krabby Patty coming up!
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− | Mr. Krabs: Mr. Squidward, you're in a chipper mood this morning, did you get an order of fancy decorative soaps in the mail or somethin'?
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− | Squidward: Even better, I have a clarinet recital immediately after work today! So ain't nothing gonna ruin my day.
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− | [Nazz's baby accidentally squirts her milk from his bottle onto Squidward's clarinet box.]
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− | Nazz: Oh, terribly sorry, sir.
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− | Squidward: No need! See? Not a drop!
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− | [Nazz's baby drools onto Squidward's clarinet.]
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− | Squidward: [finally snaps] Grrrrr... [shouts loudly] I can't take this anymore!
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− | Mr. Krabs: I told you, there's no early-bird special, now stop calling me here-- Mother!
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− | Squidward: This is unacceptable!
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− | Mr. Krabs: What?
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− | Squidward: This! [points to his clarinet]
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− | Mr. Krabs: Nice to have ya back, Squidward.
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− | Squidward: This is an outrage! I no longer tolerate my personal items being soiled by the ravels that crawls in this restaurant! I demand a place to put my stuff!
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− | Mr. Krabs: Hmm... okay, uhhh. I suppose you could put it with the nacho cheese, no one's got near that in years.
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− | Squidward: You ever read this? [hands out a book]
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− | Mr. Krabs: Bikini Bottom Labor Regulations? Eww! Gross! [grows hives] Get that thing away from me! It's giving me hives!
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− | Squidward: It specifically states that all employers must provide his or her employees with a secure, clean place to store personal property.
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− | Mr. Krabs: Gahh! Blast you, Squidward! You drive a hard bargain. I guess I could rustle something up for ya.
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− | [patties sizzling]
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− | SpongeBob: Yeah... sizzle those juices.
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− | [Mr. Krabs brings a rusty locker]
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− | Mr. Krabs: Oh! Here we go! Found it!
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− | SpongeBob: Wow, what is it?
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− | [Spiders eat away SpongeBob's arm]
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− | Mr. Krabs: It's me old navy locker. Good as new! [opens and shows bones of Corporal Sterling]
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− | SpongeBob: Who is that, Mr. Krabs?
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− | Mr. Krabs: [as he empties the locker] Uhh... Appears to be Corporal Sterling, lad. Heh...forgot all about that prank. [empties the locker] Squidward! Your locker is
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− | ready!
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− | SpongeBob: Ooh! Do we share our lockers like we share hairnets?
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− | Squidward: Not at a whale's age.
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− | Mr. Krabs: Now not so fast, Mr. Squidward, the law requires that all employees have a secure place for personal items. So you are required by law, to share.
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− | Squidward: Ohh, I suppose I can share but only since it requires by law. Hey! This thing is filthy! You don't expect me to clean it?!
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− | SpongeBob: [with a bucket of water and duster] No he doesn't! And I don't either!
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− | [dusts the locker, Squidward and Mr. Krabs cough due to dust, opens the door, absorbs the water and blasts it onto the locker, the locker looks good as new.]
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− | Mr. Krabs: Blimey! She hasn't sparkled like this since boot camp! Carry on, boys.
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− | Squidward: Impressive indeed. Just keep your grubby little hands to your side.
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− | SpongeBob: You got it, Squidward. Finally, I have a clean place to store my toothbrush.
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− | Squidward: Just don't touch my clarinet!
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− | SpongeBob: I promise nothing untoward will happen.
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− | [shuts the locker and rings the bell]
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− | Squidward: Order up, SpongeBob! [walks towards SpongeBob]
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− | Squidward: SpongeBob! What do you think you're doing? You're supposed to be fry cooking. I told you not to touch my stuff!
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− | SpongeBob: I didn't! I wore protective gloves! And besides, don't you like how classy it look now?
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− | Squidward: Velvet..
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− | SpongeBob: Now I'd like to stand by and idly chat with you, Squidward, But I must attend to my Krusty Krab duties! In the future, please keep your interruptions to a minimum, sir, please!
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− | [SpongeBob comes in with a load of appliances]
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− | Squidward: And here's your change, ma'am.
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− | Squidward: What is that idiot doing now?! [throws his change on the ground]
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− | Customer: Loose change! [the people start to collect as Mr. Krabs bursts out and yells like a gorilla to scare them away]
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− | Squidward: I hope you're not trying to shove the boxes into that locker!
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− | SpongeBob: Too late! It's already done.
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− | Squidward: If you smashed my clarinet-- so help me, Neptune-- I will- [opens the locker]
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− | SpongeBob: Don't worry, Squidward, there's plenty of room!
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− | [Squidward walks inside the locker room]
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− | SpongeBob: I... expanded a bit.
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− | Squidward: Well, it's all fine and dandy, but where's my clarinet?
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− | SpongeBob: Well, that's simple.
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− | SpongeBob: We just simply consult the card catalog and find... Squidward's Clarinet drawer 36●8-B. [opens the cabinet and reveals Squidward's clarinet]
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− | SpongeBob: See?
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− | Squidward: Fine. But remember, It's vitally important that nothing happens to it.
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− | SpongeBob: Don't worry, buddy! [slams the drawer shut]
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− | SpongeBob: You're in good hands.
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− | [Squidward places order onto Scooter's table when appliance noises come from the locker. Squidward checks the locker.]
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− | Squidward: What's he doing?!
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− | Customer 2: May I order, please?
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− | Squidward: Alright what do you want? [appliance noise]
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− | Customer 2: I'll have- [jackhammer running]
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− | Customer 2: Is everything okay back there?
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− | Squidward: Yeah, Just a bit of a... renovation. [saw noises gets louder, locker flips]
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− | Squidward: [freaking out] My clarinet! SpongeBob! [opens the locker door and reveals a grand locker room]
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− | Squidward: SpongeBob?
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− | Squidward: There. 36●8-B.
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− | Squidward: [gasps] A note?!
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− | SpongeBob: Item has temporarily moved during reconstruction. Relocated to shelf 1018●2-E.
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− | Squidward: SpongeBob?!
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− | Squidward: 1018●2-E.
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− | Squidward: Another note?!
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− | SpongeBob: Oops! Did I say 1018●2-E? I meant 2019●3-F! Sorry!
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− | Squidward: SpongeBob?! SpongeBob?!
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− | [SpongeBob laughing and running]
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− | Squidward: SpongeBob, Wait!
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− | Squidward: What have you done to my...? [ends up in the corner, discovers a small hole and crawls in]
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− | Squidward: SpongeBob, I do not play games.
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− | [Opens the curtain. Finding himself in a forest of clarinets.]
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− | Squidward: [gasps] Where am I? What is this place?
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− | [A clarinet jumping in front of him]
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− | Squidward: My clarinet!
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− | [The clarinet escapes in SpongeBob's hands]
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− | Squidward: What the…? [SpongeBob starts to laugh] Hey, come back, I need my clarinet, come back! Where are you? SpongeBo-
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− | [bumps into an eagle head]
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− | Eagle: I am the keeper of the horned forest, state your business here.
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− | Squidward: Uhh... I'm... trying to find my clarinet.
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− | Eagle: Your clarinet?
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− | Squidward: Yes, my clarinet! Which I am the proud owner.
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− | [Eagle laughs]
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− | Eagle: A clarinet is not owned. Why don't you tell me why you're really here?
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− | Squidward: You calling me a liar?!
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− | [the eagle grabs Squidward with his tongue and Squidward yells]
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− | Eagle: I don't appreciate your tone.
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− | Squidward: I-I'm sorry I-I didn't mean to offend you.
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− | Eagle: This is a sacred place where clarinets live without persecution. You need to learn respect.
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− | Squidward: [the eagle squeezed Squidward tightly] I've learned... [loosely] I've learned respect...
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− | Eagle: I don't believe you.
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− | [the eagle swallows Squidward] [Squidward screams and then he ends up in the stomach. He coughs and sees SpongeBob laughing.]
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− | Squidward: Stand still, you idiot! [SpongeBob continues laughing]
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− | Squidward: I got you now!
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− | [grabs SpongeBob and falls in a strange room, SpongeBob disappeared]
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− | Squidward: Haa, haa! What the...? SpongeBob? SpongeBob?!
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− | [SpongeBob laughs as he hangs down from a hole. As he disappears again, the hole vanishes. In a mirror, Squidward laughs wickedly, gets his clarinet, sniffs, laughs
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− | wickedly again, and shoves it in his mouth. Two Squidward's in two mirrors with clarinets in their mouths began to play and plays a high pitched note at Squidward's ears, causing Squidward to scream. Squidward runs on a clarinet while five clarinets were playing above. Then he chases SpongeBob and falls into a clarinet hole and is sent into a pinball machine.]
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− | Patrick: I win! I win!
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− | [grabs Squidward]
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− | Patrick: Hey, what are you doing here?
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− | Squidward: You tell me what in the wide world of sports is this place? And how did you get so big?
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− | Patrick: Must be all the pressure.
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− | Squidward: What are you talking about?
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− | Patrick: It must be... the pressure.
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− | [ground shakes]
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− | Patrick: I gotta get outta here! [runs off]
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− | Squidward: Where are you going, you imbecile?!
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− | [SpongeBob continues on laughing as he runs past Squidward. Just then, Squidward gets sucked in the vacuum and it explodes into space where SpongeBob keeps on laughing
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− | as Squidward chases him.]
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− | Squidward: Almost... gotcha! [shouts as he crashes]
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− | [The locker opens and Squidward melts]
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− | Mr. Krabs: [laughing] I just sweet talked an old lady out of $20 for a Krabby Patty! [laughs again] [Squidward groans]
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− | SpongeBob: Squidward, are you okay?
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− | Squidward: [muttering] Such a nightmare!
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− | SpongeBob: Squidward, what are you trying to say, buddy?
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− | Squidward: [coughs] I tried to get my clarinet in there... [sobs] Impossible!
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− | SpongeBob: Clari- Oh! You mean this! [hands out his clarinet]
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− | Squidward: Where did you get that?!
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− | SpongeBob: Well, with all the ruckus you were making over it, I kept it with me, just to make sure it was safe.
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− | Squidward: (growls in fury)
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− | SpongeBob: Call it a friendly gesture!
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− | Squidward: I'll show you a friendly gesture! Do you know the horror I've endured?! [throws SpongeBob into the locker] Let's see how you like it! [locks it, tugs it out, and throws it into a bus going to Far Far Away] [bus leaves]
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− | Squidward: [sighs with relief]
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− | [Clarinet Auditions]
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− | Judge: Are you ready, Mr. Squidward?
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− | Squidward: Yes, yes I am; as a matter of fact, you wouldn't believe what I had to go through to get… [screams when SpongeBob pops out of Squidward's clarinet case]
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− | SpongeBob: Hi, Squidward! You wouldn't believe what I had to go through to get here.
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− | Squidward: [screams again and runs out]
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− | SpongeBob: Huh. I was just going to bring his clarinet.
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