Editing Episode Transcript: Procrastination

*Talking items (chair, pants, clock, fire and Pineapple house)

(the bell rings)

'''Mrs. Puff''': Ok, class, quiet, quiet. Now, get out your pencils and paper, and write down the assignment.  

'''Students''': (groan)

'''SpongeBob''': Did you hear that? We get an assignment!

'''Mrs. Puff''': Everyone must write an essay on What Not to Do at a Stoplight.

 

 

'''Mrs. Puff''': In no less than 800 words. (squeals)

 

'''Students''': (groan again)

'''SpongeBob''': Yeah, I know!

 

 

(back at SpongeBob's house)

 

(The clock is shown. Several hours pass)

'''SpongeBob''': (has still only written 8 words) Gee, this is harder than I thought. Deleted Scene:(looks outside. There is a carnival. Squidward is suntanning. A kid is eating ice cream. Jellyfish are playing tennis. Gary is playing with a ball. Patrick is rubbing Sandy with sunscreen)

'''SpongeBob''': It should be against the law to have to write an essay on such a super sailorific, sunshiny day. (groans) But I must press onward. Because with this pencil, and the completion of this essay, I'll be one step closer to my driver's license! (a live-action drag race is shown. The car hits a wall, tumbles, and gets back up. Cut back to SpongeBob) Oh, yeah... This'll be no problemo. Why, I've got plenty of time. It's only six o'clock! Okay, okay, here we go. Here we go. (SpongeBob struggles to write) I know! I just need to get a little blood pumpin' in the old noodle. How about some callestetechs? (does callestetechs. While doing it, he recites "Hup hoo" several times) I can feel those juices pumpin' now.(moves his chair closer to the table. He does it a lot because of the fun noise it makes. He then laughs) Huh! What am I doing? I gotta write that paper. (pushes his chair in) Come on, pencil, make words.

'''SpongeBob''': I know I have an essay to write. Now, come on, Gary. (pours some food) I've got to make sure you get your nutrition, so I'm not leaving till you eat every single bite. (he takes up a ladder and fills it to ceiling-level. Gary quickly eats it) Gary, are you sure you don't want some crème brûlée? Or some choco-flavored algae bits? (sees a pile of food on the floor) Gee, Gary sure made a mess. I can't work on my essay, knowing there's a mess in the kitchen. (cleans it up) Hmm. I might as well clean the rest of the floor while I'm at it. I should get these hard-to-reach places too! And these dishes need to be cleaned! Can't have dirty garbage. (cut to SpongeBob, who has already finished) Well, I think it's clean enough now. (the kitchen is now chrome) Why, that didn't take too long. It's only...10:00! Oh. No more fooling around. I gotta get back to work. Okay, Mr. Essay, I say: prepare to be written! I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! And some of these, and some of these! Almost there and... done. (sighs in relief) Now, let's see how it looks so far. The... Break time! Pacing always helps me think. Let's see, only 799 words to go. Think, SpongeBob, think. (looks at the telephone. Cut to Patrick in bed. His phone rings and he wakes up)

'''SpongeBob''': That's really fascinating. Are you having a good sleep? Any dreams you'd like to discuss? I remember on the...

'''SpongeBob''': (listening to a dial tone) Yeah, well, I gotta get going, Patrick. Got an important essay to write? (hangs up phone) Sheesh, what a chatterbox. Can't he see that I'm busy? I can't write with all these eraser shavings all over my paper! (throws them away) Now they're floating around my thinking space. (blows them away) So long, pesky particles! (chokes on one) I swallowed one! I'm choking! Water! Water! (goes to the kitchen and drinks water, then gasps in relief) That was a close one.

'''SpongeBob''': (gulps) How did he know I'm supposed to be writing an essay? (blipping his eyes and slides back into the house)

'''Realistic Fish Head''': In other news, local resident SpongeBob SquarePants only has a few hours left to complete his essay. And yet he continues to goof off. (his head leans through the TV screen into SpongeBob's face) When will he learn?

'''Chair''': Hey! SpongeBob, over here! Come on. Take a seat. Put your feet up and relax.

 

'''SpongeBob''': (gasps, as the bell rings the clock lights up as he looks at the clock) Oh, no! Midnight! (Panting: running in the hallway where the wall is full of paintings "Persistence of Memory" appears as the clocks) Must... get... back to desk! (runs to the table, but it has enlarged. He jumps up) Whew, that was a close call. (notices his pants are missing and he screams) My pants!  

'''SpongeBob''': (runs out the door) Stop, pants! You get back here this instant! Pants! (tries to get back in, but it is locked. He looks in the window. The candle is still lit. The clock's face pops off, revealing a mouth)

'''Clock''': (ghostly voice) Time's up, SpongeBob.

'''Spongebob''': (gasps) Burning!

 

'''SpongeBob''': No! (the inside of his house burns) What have I done? Help! Help! My house is on fire! (continues running around his burnt house until it comes to life)

'''SpongeBob''': (wakes up from his nightmare and takes the pencil off his face) Where's my essay! Oh, there you are! I must've dosed off. Let's see, where are we? (the paper only reads "The") Do I dare look at the clock? (looks at the clock, then gasps) It's almost 9:00! Class starts in five minutes! How am I going to write this whole paper in five minutes? How am I supposed to know what not to do at a stoplight? Feeding your snail is something not to do at a stoplight! And making a sandwich. And lighting candles! And driking water! And calling your friends! And karate chopping the TV! And shooting the breeze with the mailman. And falling asleep... (cut to SpongeBob, running to the boating school) Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! I'm finished! All 800 words! I'm finished! Here it is! Mrs. Puff? (goes inside, but nobody is there) Where is everybody?

'''Mrs. Puff''': Nah, I decided to cancel the assignment. We're just going to take a field trip to a stoplight instead. See you next week!

 

(SpongeBob rips his essay. He then rips himself)