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| − | {{Transcript|Kracked Krabs|Yours, Mine and Mine|The Curse of Bikini Bottom}}
| + | *Characters: |
| − | | + | *[[SpongeBob]] |
| − | ==Characters==
| + | *[[Mr. Krabs]] |
| − | *[[SpongeBob SquarePants|SpongeBob]] | + | |
| − | *[[Eugene H. Krabs|Mr. Krabs]] | + | |
| | *Penny Pinchers | | *Penny Pinchers |
| | | | |
| − | ==Dialogue== | + | == Dialogue == |
| − | (episode begins at Krusty Krab)
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| − | '''Squidward:''' SpongeBob, one extra large order of sea fries.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Aaaaaaannnndddd...
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Please.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?
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| − | '''Squidward:''' Yes. Yes it was.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' (snaps finger) One large sea fries coming up! (walks to pick up a bag full of sea taters. Pours them into his holes then walks back. Strains himself and the fries comes out of him and into the fryer. A bonk in the head gets one more out. Fryer gives a "ding" sound) Eeeeeee! (picks up fries and places them on the container. Gives them to Squidward)
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| − | '''Squidward:''' One large sea fries. Extra weird.
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' (a megaphone appears) SPOOOOONGEBOOOOOOB!!! (SpongeBob's facial parts fall out) Report to me office. (bubble-wipe to Mr. Krabs's office) Now listen up, son. I called ye here on the official Krusty Krab business. Every year, me fellow cheapskate krabs meet and discuss new ways of being stinky in the workplace. But more than that, they bestow the award for Cheapest Krab. And this year, (holds up paper) I've been nominated!
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' (reads paper; gibberish) ...Krabs... (gibberish) ...nominated... (gibberish) ...award...award?
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' So I'll be outta town for the awards ceremony. And yer coming with me.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Rooooooaaaaaddddd... trip! (they exit the Krusty Krab)
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Now, this trip... I'm gonna teach ye all the cheapskate knowledge like you were the son I've never wanted!
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Ooh! Can I call you Daddy?
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' No.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Pa?
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' No.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Pops?
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' No.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Papa?
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' No.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' My own man?
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' No.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Daddy-kins?
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Maybe.
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Krabby Joe?
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' (slaps his head) Ooh! No! Now, this'll be a great learning experience for you, so keep yer brain peeled!
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' (peels his head off, revealing his brain) Can do, Mr. Krabs!
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' And in the tradition of the event, we are required to travel cheaply, and I'm gonna teach ya the cheapest way to do it! (bubble-wipe to a hotel where all the cheapskates are meeting. An mailfish drops a heavy envelope on the front desk. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob come out) Attention cheapskate attendees! I, Eugene Krabs, have only spent on me travel, the price of a one-cent stamp! (the crabs start cheering) Thank you! Thank you! I'd like to see someone top that! (another crab comes out of a suitcase. Gasps) Fancy McGee?!
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| − | '''Fancy McGee:''' Thanks for letting me hitch your ride, Mr. Krabs! I didn't have to spend a penny on travel!
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| − | '''The Penny Pinchers:''' Oooh!
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| − | '''Krab:''' Snap! (snaps his finger)
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| − | '''Fancy McGee:''' (to SpongeBob) Better wish him luck, kid. He'll need it. (leaves)
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Good luck, Mr. Krabs- (Mr. Krabs grabs his mouth)
| + | (First scene at Krusty Krab) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Come on. (leaves. Bubble-wipe to a hotel room door. An employee carries their bags to their hotel room)
| + | Squidward: SpongeBob, one extra large order of sea fries. |
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| − | '''Employee:''' Your room, sir. (holds out hand)
| + | SpongeBob: Aaaaaaannnndddd... |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' You see that, laddie? That outstretched hand is one of the biggest dangers to becoming a true cheapskate: (whispers) He wants a tip.
| + | Squidward: Please. |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' (whispers) What's a tip?
| + | SpongeBob: Well, that wasn't so hard, was it? |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' It means he wants money for nothing. (pulls out a quarter with a string attached to it) So watch closely. (Drops it on employee's hand) There ye are, lad.
| + | Squidward: Yes. Yes it was. |
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| − | '''Employee:''' Wow. A quarter. You sir are a real cheapskate.
| + | SpongeBob: (Snaps finger) One large sea fries coming up! (Walks to a bag full of sea taters and picks it up. Pours the taters into his holes then walks back. Strains himself and the fries comes out of him and into the frier. SpongeBob bonks himself in the head and one more comes out) (frier goes DING!) Eeeeeee! (Picks up fries and places them on the container. Gives them to Squidward) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Why, thank you! (employee walks away) Now watch closely, boy! You give it a little lean, and then... snatch it back! (pulls on string. The quarter flies away from the employee's hand)
| + | Squidward: One large sea fries. Extra weird. |
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| − | '''Employee:''' Oh. Like I haven't seen that gag ten times today. (quarter flies back to Mr. Krabs's hand, who laughs)
| + | Mr. Krabs: (A mega phone appears) SPOOOOONGEBOOOOOOB!!! (SpongeBob's facial parts fall out) Report to me office. |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Go ahead! Give it a try!
| + | (Cut to Mr. Krabs's office) |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Aye aye, sir! (pulls out another quarter) Here you are, sonny! A nice, shiny... (turns to see another employee, who is very big and ugly) ...quarter. (gives it to the big employee, who grapples tightly onto the quarter, then leaves)
| + | Mr. Krabs: Now listen up, son. I called ye here on the official Krusty Krab business. Every year, me fellow cheapskate krabs meet and discuss new ways of being stinky in the workplace. But more than that, they bestow the award for Cheapest Krab. And this year, (holds up paper) I've been nominated! |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Go on boy! The quarter's getting away! (SpongeBob pulls the string, but lures the big employee back to him, and squashes him. The big employee gets up, and he is stuck to his buttocks) Quit foolin' around! I got an award to win! (pulls SpongeBob out and leaves)
| + | SpongeBob: (Reads paper) (gibberish)...Krabs...(gibberish)...nominated...(gibberish)...award...award? |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' My quarter! (the big employee leaves with the quarter stuck to his butt. They walk into a room full of cheapskate crabs who are chatting)
| + | Mr. Krabs: So I'll be outta town for the awards ceremony. And yer coming with me. |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:'''' Hi, fellers! (laughs, the crowd laughs, and SpongeBob attempts to laugh like them)
| + | SpongeBob: Rooooooaaaaaddddd... trip! |
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| − | '''Krab #2:''' Ye still know the cheapskate handshake?
| + | (They exit the Krusty Krab) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Of course. (they start the handshake)
| + | Mr. Krabs: Now, this trip... I'm gonna teach ye all the cheapskate knowledge like you were the son I've never wanted! |
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| − | '''Both:''' Penny pinchin', penny pinchin'. (they pinch each others' butts, then act like chickens) Cheep cheep cheep! (they peck the ground, then sigh)
| + | SpongeBob: Ooh! Can I call you Daddy? |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' I'd like to introduce me fellow fry cook, SpongeBob. I've been giving some pointers.
| + | Mr. Krabs: No. |
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| − | '''Krab #2:''' Ah! Training in the cheapskate arts, eh? Yer learning from the master, kiddo!
| + | SpongeBob: Pa? |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' I cook Krabby Patties.
| + | Mr. Krabs: No. |
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| − | '''Krab #2:''' Yes. Sure you do. Later, Krocs!
| + | SpongeBob: Pops? |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Lad, you're surrounded by stingy wisdom, so try to pick up some pointers. But whatever you do, don't lend anyone money. (sees SpongeBob lending money to a crab)
| + | Mr. Krabs: No. |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Twenty five, twenty six- (they both see Mr. Krabs. The crab then walks away with the cash)
| + | SpongeBob: Papa? |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Let's mangle.
| + | Mr. Krabs: No. |
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| − | '''Judge:''' Attention penny pinchers! (pinches his claw. Penny Pinchers are confused, then pinch their claws. They laugh)
| + | SpongeBob: My own man? |
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| − | '''Penny Pincher:''' Penny pinchers!
| + | Mr. Krabs: No. |
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| − | '''Judge:''' It's time to award the trophy... (pulls out a golden trophy) ...for this year's Cheapest Krab! (the golden trophy shows a claw pinching a penny. The Penny Pinchers are sitting in chairs. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob sit down to watch a video) And the nominees are: Eugene Krabs! In: "Sign of the Times!" (the video shows Mr. Krabs putting out a "Free Krabby Patties" sign. Audience gasps. Customers come to Krusty Krab. Another sign is put out)
| + | SpongeBob: Daddy-kins? |
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| − | '''Customer:''' Huh?
| + | Mr. Krabs: Maybe. |
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| − | '''Customer #2:''' "A dollar per footstep?"
| + | SpongeBob: Krabby Joe? |
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| − | '''Customer #3:''' I can't afford that! (the customers are confused)
| + | Mr. Krabs: (Slaps his head) Ooh! No! Now, this'll be a great learning experience for you, so keep yer brain peeled! |
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| − | '''Harold:''' How do I get out of here? (he, along with others, struggle not to walk too much. Mr. Krabs laughs. Applause)
| + | SpongeBob: (peels his head off, revealing his brain) Can do, Mr. Krabs! |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Thank you, thank you!
| + | Mr. Krabs: And in the tradition of the event, we are required to travel cheaply, and I'm gonna teach ya the cheapest way to do it! |
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| − | '''Judge:''' Next up is [[Huford BargainBottom]] in: "Convenience Store Caper!" (video shows a man walking to Huford, the cashier, with a bag of chips. Huford scans it three times)
| + | (Cut to a hotel where all the cheapskates are meeting) |
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| − | '''Man:''' Uh, you charged me three times.
| + | (A mailman walks to a person at the front desk and carries an envelope, which is somehow heavy. He drops it on the table and leaves. Mr. Krabs comes out of the envelope with his suitcases, then he gets SpongeBob out) |
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| − | '''Huford:''' Yeah. Three times the flavor, three times the price! (applause)
| + | Mr. Krabs: Attention cheapskate attendees! I, Eugene Krabs, have only spent on me travel, the price of a one-cent stamp! (The krabs start cheering) Thank you! Thank you! I'd like to see someone top that! (Suddenly, his blue suitcase starts shaking, and out comes another krab) |
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| − | '''Judge:''' And [[Endwight Keywad]] in: "Tying Up New Stems!" (video shows Endwight tying used toilet paper to a roll of new toilet paper. Applause)
| + | Mr. Krabs: (Gasp) Fancy McGee?!!? |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Uh, geez. I didn't think the competition would be so stiff this year! (to SpongeBob) I'm gonna need your help on this one! (runs to whisper something to the judge)
| + | Fancy McGee: Thanks for letting me hitch your ride, Mr. Krabs! I didn't have to spend a penny on travel! |
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| − | '''Judge:''' Well, that's highly unconventional, but okay. We will now hear a testimony from a Krusty Krab employee! (Mr. Krabs gets SpongeBob)
| + | The krabs: Oooh! (One of them says, "Snap!" and snaps his finger) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' I need ya to testify about how cheap I am! So if you need to do a little exaggeratin'... (his eyelids move twice. SpongeBob winks. Winks four times. SpongeBob winks. Two eyelids and a wink. Wink) Ye not getting it, are ye? (SpongeBob nods "no") Exaggeratin' is like tellin' the truth, only with little lies sprinkled in to make it, uh... true...er.
| + | Fancy McGee: (To SpongeBob) Better wish him luck, kid. He'll need it. (Leaves) |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' (gasps) You're teaching me to lie?! Lying is wrong, Mr. Krabs!
| + | SpongeBob: Good luck, Mr. Krabs- (Mr. Krabs grabs his mouth) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' No, no, no, no ,no, no, exaggerating's completely different from lyin'. You're taking the truth, and just seasoning it with little lies. I mean, just because you put salt on a Krabby Patty... it doesn't make it a salty patty. Does it?
| + | Mr. Krabs: Come on. (Leaves) |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' No. (gets pushed onto the stage)
| + | (Cut to hotel room door) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Well, good enough. Just make sure you exaggerate enough fer me to win! (throws SpongeBob to the microphone)
| + | (An employee carries their bags to their hotel room) |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' (speaks through mic) Um, uh, ugh, uh... Mr. Krabs has always been very, uh... very...very grad.
| + | Employee: Your room, sir. (Holds out hand) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' (slaps himself) Exaggerate!
| + | Mr. Krabs: You see that, laddie? That outstretched hand is one of the biggest dangers to becoming a true cheapskate: (whispers) He wants a tip. |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Blue!
| + | SpongeBob: (Whispers) What's a tip? |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' No! About me being cheap!
| + | Mr. Krabs: It means he wants money for nothing. (pulls out a quarter with a string attached to it) So watch closely. (Drops it on employee's hand) There ye are, lad. |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Uh, Mr. Krabs is... a very generous pointer. (the audience gasps, including Mr. Krabs)
| + | Employee: Wow. A quarter. You sir are a real cheapskate. |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' No, no, no, no, exaggerate the other way!
| + | Mr. Krabs: Why, thank you! (Employee walks away) Now watch closely, boy! You give it a little lean, and then... snatch it back! (The quarter flies away from the employee's hand) |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Um, he's not doing it for the money. He is doing it for his loyal employees. (the crabs talk to each other about this) Vacation time, regular raises, profit sharing. To Mr. Krabs, he's such a little gift that he's to glad to give us, so that he can see the looks on our faces when he hands us our paychecks. (Mr. Krabs faints)
| + | Employee: Oh. Like I haven't seen that gag ten times today. (quarter flies back to Mr. Krabs's hand, who laughs) |
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| − | '''Judge:''' We've heard enough. (pushes SpongeBob away. Points to Mr. Krabs on the floor) Disqualified! (bubble-wipe to Mr. Krabs' hotel room. Mr. Krabs is packing up, but also sobbing into his suitcase)
| + | Mr. Krabs: Go ahead! Give it a try! |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Uh, Mr. Krabs, you left some bitter tears on the night vent.
| + | SpongeBob: Aye aye, sir! (pulls out another quarter with string attached) Here you are, sonny! A nice, shiny- (turns to see another employee, who is very big and ugly) quarter. |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' (sniffs) Thanks. (puts tears in suitcase)
| + | Big Employee: Grrrrrr. (SpongeBob gives it to him. He grapples tightly onto the quarter, then leaves) |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Cheer up, Mr. Krabs. You may have not won the award, but you taught this sponge a lot about stinginess. Ooh! I almost forgot to pack these hotel toiletries! (puts them away) And let's not forget these hotel towels! (puts them away)
| + | Mr. Krabs: Go on boy! The quarter's getting away! |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' But...but isn't that stealing?
| + | (SpongeBob pulls the string, but actually lures the big employee back to him. He falls on him. The big employee gets up, and |
| | + | SpongeBob is stuck to his butt) |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Stealing? Phhhht! We're exaggerating!
| + | Mr. Krabs: Quit foolin' around! I got an award to win! (He pulls SpongeBob out and leaves) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Heh heh. Well, could we "exaggerate" this pillow, too?
| + | SpongeBob: My quarter! (the big employee leaves with the quarter stuck to his butt) |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Well, only if you help me "exaggerate" this air conditioner!
| + | (They walk into a room full of cheapskate krabs who are chatting) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Sure, boy! But why not "exaggerate" the whole wall? (they laugh, then start taking the room and its walls apart. They exit with their huge suitcases full of parts of the room) Well, I didn't win the award, but it's been nice exaggeratin' with you, boy. (they laugh again. Cut to lobby)
| + | Mr. Krabs: Hi, fellers! (He laughs, the crowd laughs, and SpongeBob attempts to laugh like them) |
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| − | '''Employee:''' Do you have any hotel property in this bag?
| + | One of the krabs: Ye still know the cheapskate handshake? |
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| − | '''Judge:''' Preposterous! This is all mine! (pats his suitcase, which opens and reveals hotel property. Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob pull their bags in)
| + | Mr. Krabs: Of course. (They start the handshake) |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' Heh heh heh. Looks like he bit off more than he could chew. (the bags explode, revealing the hotel room like it was) | + | Both: Penny pinchin', penny pinchin'. (They take turns picnching each other's butts, then they act like chickens) Cheep cheep cheep! (They peck the ground, then sighed) |
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| − | '''Judge:''' (gasps) You took the entire hotel room?
| + | Mr. Krabs: I'd like to introduce me fellow fry cook, SpongeBob. I've been giving some pointers. |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Duh! (wags finger) Exaggerated! (the crabs give an applause)
| + | Krab: Ah! Training in the cheapskate arts, eh? Yer learning from the master, kiddo! |
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| − | '''Judge:''' That is the stingiest display I've ever seen. I declare you the new winner! (gives trophy to Mr. Krabs, who laughs) See ye next year! (exits, then pulls on a string. The trophy flies back to him, then he leaves)
| + | SpongeBob: I cook Krabby Patties. |
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| − | '''Mr. Krabs:''' (doesn't care; to SpongeBob) Thanks for ruinin' everything so I could win! Put er there, SpongeBob me boy!
| + | Krab: Yes. Sure you do. Later, Krocs! |
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| − | '''SpongeBob:''' Sure... (holds out hand. Mr. Krabs holds out his claw, but chops SpongeBob's hand off) Oops. (they laugh)
| + | Mr. Krabs: Lad, you're surrounded by stingy wisdom, so try to pick up some pointers. But whatever you do, don't lend anyone money. (He sees SpongeBob lending money to a krab) |
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| | + | SpongeBob: Twenty five, twenty six- (They both see Mr. Krabs. The krab then walks away with the cash) |
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| | + | Mr. Krabs: Let's mangle. |
| | {{Transcripts/Season 7}} | | {{Transcripts/Season 7}} |
