Editing Episode Transcript: CopyBob DittoPants

[The scene shows the Chum Bucket. Inside SpongeBob, Plankton, and Karen are in line doing the conga and laughing in a party-looking setting.]
Plankton: More fruit punch, SpongeBob?
[Karen gets SpongeBob a glass of fruit punch.]
SpongeBob: You know Plankton, when you invited me over, I thought it was another trick to get the Krabby Patty formula. Now, I see you just love social gatherings in the workplace!
[SpongeBob drinks the fruit punch.]
Plankton: Oh I love office parties. We got roller chair races and karaoke. Hey! I know a gag we can do. Copy our faces on the new copy machine!
[SpongeBob looks at the copier.]
SpongeBob: Ooh! Should I put my face on the glass?
Plankton: Why don't you lay your whole body down? That glass is big enough.
SpongeBob: How's this? Like this? What about this? Is this good?
Plankton: Just lay face-down and keep still. [clicks "SCAN"]
SpongeBob: [Laughs]
Plankton: Alright. Party's over. Go home!
SpongeBob: Aw...But I'd like some more fruit punch.
Plankton: No more punch for you! You don't look so good, SpongeBob. I suggest you take the day off tomorrow.
SpongeBob: Nah! I feel fine!
Plankton: Are you sure?
SpongeBob: Now that you ask, I don't know. [feels a twinge] I think I just felt a twinge!
Plankton: You'll be fine if you take tomorrow off. [Slams the door. The scene returns to the copier. Plankton clicks "PRINT." A copy of SpongeBob is printed from the copier. Plankton squirts a drop of toner. The SpongeBob copy comes to life.] Hello, SpongeBob CopyPants. Can you say "Secret formula"?
SpongeBob Copy: Se.. Se... For mama.
Plankton: "Se-cret Form-ula"
SpongeBob Copy: Se-cret Form-ula. Secret formula!
[The SpongeBob copy and Plankton both laugh evilly. Scene cuts to Plankton making a tie for CopyBob]
Plankton: Now, remember. Your name is SpongeBob SquarePants and your assignment is to ask Krabs for the secret Krabby Patty formula.
SpongeBob Copy: My name is SpongeBob SquarePants and I want the secret formula.
Plankton: Excellent! Now, off you go! Wait! [He colors the white tie with a blue marker.] Just keeping track of my copy.
[The copy walks into the Krusty Krab humming. The real SpongeBob is humming the same tune, but gets stopped by Plankton.]
Plankton: What are you doing here!? You said you would take today off.
SpongeBob: But I feel great today.
Plankton: Are you sure? Because you're sweating. [Scene shows SpongeBob in a pot of fire. SpongeBob walks away but Plankton bursts over.]
Plankton: But you can't work. You have yellow jaundice!
SpongeBob: [Laughs] Oh, Plankton. Yellow is my natural color. [Goes into Krusty Krab. Scene shows the copy putting on a Krusty Krab hat.]
SpongeBob Copy: Morning.
Squidward: Whatever. [The real SpongeBob comes doing the same thing]
SpongeBob: Morning.
Squidward: I said "Whatever." [Shocked] Wait, didn't I just... Didn't I...[Looks behind the window as there is two SpongeBobs.]
Both SpongeBobs: Ooh. [Both laugh]
Squidward: There's only one explanation. I'm still in my bed and I'm having a nightmare! [Starts beating himself up.] Wake up! (x3) [A short customer enters]
Short customer: I'd like to place an order for two.
Squidward: Two, as in Two SpongeBobs? Sure, this is all just a bad dream, right? I'm dreaming and you're in my dream!
Short customer: That's me: The man of your dreams. [Walks away]
Squidward: If this is a dream. there are no consequences. I can do anything! [He pushes a cup of soda off the cash register but it's floating in the air.] I really am dreaming! [Scene shows a kid with a propeller hat making the cup fly. Scene cuts to the SpongeBobs.]
SpongeBob: What's your name, handsome stranger?
SpongeBob Copy: My name is SpongeBob SquarePants.
SpongeBob: [Surprised] Wow! We look alike and have the same name! That's two things we have in common! [Both laugh] I always wanted a twin brother! [Turns into a bubble shape of himself] How do you feel about bubbles?
SpongeBob Copy: I love em'! [The real SpongeBob turns into a jellyfish]
SpongeBob: Jelly fishing?
SpongeBob Copy: The same thing you do. [The real SpongeBob turns his face into the form of Squidward's face.]
SpongeBob: How about Squidward?
SpongeBob Copy: Oh please. [Both laugh]
SpongeBob: I think I'll nickname you... Me two! [Both laugh again. Plankton goes into SpongeBob Copy's ear.]
Plankton: Hey, SpongeCopy. Good to see ya. [Whispers] Have you learned the secret formula yet?
Me Two: Oh, I can't tell you that. It's a secret. By the way, my name is Me Two.
Plankton: Me Two? I'm such a deep sea dope! Now that the copy's gone in contact with the original SpongeBob, he won't tell me the formula. [Me Two launches Plankton into Mr. Krabs' office.] Time to adjust my plan. [Mr. Krabs appears.]
Mr. Krabs: Wait a minute! I can't afford two SpongeBobs! If this a scheme to collect two paychecks, forget about it! You're getting one paycheck split in two.
Both SpongeBobs: You are too good to us, Mr. Krabs. [Bubble transitions to Chum Bucket and comes to the copier]
Plankton: [laughs] Karen, did you know you're married to a genius?
Karen: How could I forget? [Scene shows a tattoo of Plankton on Karen's hard drive] You had it tattooed on my hard drive.
Plankton: Now where was I? Oh yeah, I saved SpongeBob digital DNA. [Clicks "Print" again. Another sponge appears. Plankton squirts another drop of toner and the sponge comes alive. Plankton laughs.]
SpongeBob Copy: Ooh. [Eats Plankton]
Karen: No no SpongeCopy. We don't put dirty, nasty things in our mouth. Spit it out. [The copy spits Plankton out.]]
Plankton: Yuck! Now listen. Your name is SpongeBob SquarePants and you're to go straight to Mr. Krabs [whispering] and ask him for the secret formula.
SpongeBob Copy: Mr. Krabs, secret formula. Got it.
Plankton: And stay away from any other SpongeBobs!
SpongeBob Copy: Got it! [Eats Plankton again]
Karen: Ah! Ah! SpongeCopy! [Spits Plankton on the floor]
Plankton: You see, this is why I never had children.
[Scene transitions to Squidward looking at the SpongeBobs. One is eating ketchup and the other is juggling Krabby Patties.]
Squidward: Yup. I'm still dreaming. [To a customer] Hello, there. Are you enjoying my dream? [Slams his patty on the ground] I heard you like your patties "Ground"! [Laughs and goes over to Mr. Krabs]
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Mr. Squidward! Just what the devilfish do you think your doing?!
Squidward: Isn't it obvious, you red-faced tightwad? I'm dreaming! [Pulls down Mr. Krabs' pants] What's that under there?
Mr. Krabs: Under where?
Squidward: That's right. [Kicks Mr. Krabs into his office] ♪I don't care, I don't care, none of this is real.♪ Hmm, I always wanted to fly and since this is my dream, I'm going to fly! [Copy enters Krusty Krab and goes into Mr. Krabs's office.]
SpongeBob Copy: Hello Mr. Krabs. Hey, can you tell me the secret Krabby Patty formula?
Mr. Krabs: You want me tell you the formula? That's quite a responsibility, laddy.
SpongeBob Copy: Secret formula.
Mr. Krabs: Well, you make a good point. Lean in boy! [Plankton is looking at them]
Plankton: He's doing it. He knows the formula. I can taste triumph! Wait, No! No!
SpongeBob Copy: Secret formula. Secret formula. Secret formu...
SpongeBob: Hey, look. Another handsome devil. [laughs] We'll call you Me Three [laughs again] Aww. Let's go flip some patties.
Plankton: Neptune's puddle! Now that SpongeBob's been corrupted by the other two! What I need is a legion of Bobs. A full-lined blitz cream of Bobs! [Scene bubble transitions to Plankton playing a snare drum as a million copies of SpongeBob walk out of the Chum Bucket.] March! March my pretties and learn the formula!
SpongeBob Copies: Secret formula. Secret formula.
Mr. Krabs: Whoa! You guys are multiplying faster than me moneys! Alright, pipe down! I'm only gonna tell you the secret formula one more time!
SpongeBob copies: One more time!
Mr. Krabs: So you've all memorized the formula. Now get to work! I have to calculate paychecks.
SpongeBob copies: Yay! Hooray!
Plankton: They all know the formula!
One SpongeBob Copy: Let me do that!
SpongeBob: OK. Thanks.
[SpongeBob walks towards the mop, another copy pops out of the bucket.]
Another SpongeBob Copy: Let me do that
SpongeBob: Sure.
Another SpongeBob copy: I'll polish the pickles
SpongeBob: [To Me Two] Looks like you sponges have everything covered.
Me Two: Mm hmm. [Turns into light gray hue]
SpongeBob: Hey, you don't look so good. Can I take you home? Where do you live?
Me Two: I came from the Chum Bucket.
SpongeBob: The Chum Bucket?
Plankton: ♪I'm gonna know the formula! I'm gonna know the formula...♪
SpongeBob: Plankton, Me Two says you made him in a copying machine so that you could steal the secret formula.
Plankton: Uh, well, that's patently ridiculous.
Me Two: Uhh...
SpongeBob: You gotta help him. I think he's sick or something.
Me Two: I feel funny... [Vanishes]
SpongeBob: Me Two! Me Two! Oh, what happened to him?!
Plankton: I was afraid of that. I thought I'd save some money by using cheap toner.
SpongeBob: What does that mean?
Plankton: It means my plan is ruined. All the SpongeBob copies will fade away now.
SpongeBob: Fade away? All my brand new friends? Nooooooooo! They can't! [Talking to Me Three] No, don't disappear. [He disappears right after he says that. He cries.]
Plankton: Quickly man! Before you fade, what's the formula?!
SpongeBob Copy: It's easy. You take one bar... I don't feel so good [Disappears]
Plankton: Wait no! [Each time he goes near a copy, he says The formula but then each copy disappears. Scene cuts to a bunch of other copies cleaning the roof, mowing the lawn, and some other things but they disappear. Then the scene cuts to Patrick playing with some of the copies but they disappear also.]
Patrick: Life is but a walking shadow. Ha-lube-lube-lube-lube-lube... [Stopped because he gets hit by a lawn mower and gets split into nine mini copies of himself. Scene transitions to Plankton running over to the final copy.]
Plankton: What's the formula?! [Mr. Krabs enters.]
Mr. Krabs: Well, I did it. I calculated one paycheck down into 300 separate tiny checks. Only one of you left? Here.
[The copy vanishes]
Plankton: Geez, What a cheapskate. I can't believe I failed again!
SpongeBob: I can believe it.
Plankton: Wait, are you a copy?! Quick! What's the formula?!
SpongeBob: Well, you see, its... Nice try, Plankton. But I'm the O.S. The original sponge. [Grins] I can't believe they're all gone.
Plankton: You wouldn't want all those copies of you around. They were just imitations anyway.
SpongeBob: Hey, those imitations were my friends.
Plankton: One SpongeBob is more than the world can handle anyway. You're a unique snowflake.
SpongeBob: Yeah, thanks, Plankton. Things did get a bit out of hand with all those me's around.
Plankton: Yeah, you're pretty annoying. Well, you can stomp on me now if that's you want.
SpongeBob: Plankton, I'm a unique snowflake and snowflakes don't stomp. They skip [He skips off-screen, laughing]
Plankton: Well, what do you know about that. No comeuppance!
Squidward: Gaining speed, increasing thrust, raising nose, air pressure on tentacles, stray tables in right position, and liftoff!
Plankton: Eh, spoke too soon. Comeuppance in three. two... [Gets crushed by Squidward] OW! Right on my keys!
[Episode ends]