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Editing Episode Transcript: Chimps Ahoy
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==Characters== | ==Characters== | ||
− | *[[ | + | *[[SpongeBob]] |
− | *[[ | + | *[[Patrick]] |
− | *[[ | + | *[[Squidward]] |
− | *[[ | + | *[[Sandy]] |
*[[Dr. Marmalade]] | *[[Dr. Marmalade]] | ||
*[[Professor Percy]] | *[[Professor Percy]] | ||
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(SpongeBob and Patrick are standing in front of the pineapple as the mailman comes walking by and puts a package into SpongeBob's mailbox)<br> | (SpongeBob and Patrick are standing in front of the pineapple as the mailman comes walking by and puts a package into SpongeBob's mailbox)<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob & Patrick: It's here! (takes out the package and opens it)<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Behold, Patrick! The official Goofy Goober Back Scratcher! And it only cost me 52 box-tops.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Wow.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: (scratches his back with the item) Ooh. Mm-hmm. Oh... Oh! Whoo! Oh, yeah, that's it!<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Let me try! (uses the item to scratch his back)<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Uh, Patrick, that's not the back scratcher. That's my arm.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Oh, sorry. (reattaches his arm)<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: You know, we shouldn't keep this all to ourselves. We should let Squidward try it out.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Yeah!<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Onward... to Squidward's house.<br> | |
− | + | Squidward: Go away!<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: To Sandy's house. (cut to Sandy's treedome) Hey, Sandy, you gotta see this. (bunch of inventions are torn up | |
inside the treedome) Sandy? What's going on here? Sandy, are you ok? (Sandy shudders) What's wrong, Sandy?<br> | inside the treedome) Sandy? What's going on here? Sandy, are you ok? (Sandy shudders) What's wrong, Sandy?<br> | ||
Sandy: They're coming. They're coming. The chimps are coming.<br> | Sandy: They're coming. They're coming. The chimps are coming.<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: Who?<br> | |
Sandy: My bosses. They're coming for an inspection. I've worked day and night for a week, but none of my inventions are any | Sandy: My bosses. They're coming for an inspection. I've worked day and night for a week, but none of my inventions are any | ||
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Bottom.<br> | Bottom.<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: Oh, come on, Sandy. I'll bet you invented lots of useful things. This helmet looks impressive. (puts on the | |
helmet with a peanut label on the forehead) What's it do?<br> | helmet with a peanut label on the forehead) What's it do?<br> | ||
Sandy: It lets you talk to nuts. What use is that?<br> | Sandy: It lets you talk to nuts. What use is that?<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: (takes out a nut) SpongeBob to Peanut. Come in, Peanut. (shortwave radio beeping)<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: What's it saying?<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: It's saying... "It's dark in here." Got anything else, Sandy?<br> | |
− | Sandy: There's my nuttachino machine. It makes a | + | Sandy: There's my nuttachino machine. It makes a hot, frothy cup of any nut you choose. (puts the nut into the machine. The |
nuts screams which makes SpongeBob sad) And lastly, my fully automated nutcracker. (turns it on. The nutcracker tries to | nuts screams which makes SpongeBob sad) And lastly, my fully automated nutcracker. (turns it on. The nutcracker tries to | ||
crack open a nut but it can't and gives up) Oh! I can't even make a simple nutcracker.<br> | crack open a nut but it can't and gives up) Oh! I can't even make a simple nutcracker.<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: So, it's got a few bugs. Patrick and I'll help you fix it. Right Patrick? Patrick? (Patrick is using the | |
backscratcher) Everything'll be fine.<br> | backscratcher) Everything'll be fine.<br> | ||
Sandy: Oh, it's no use, SpongeBob. I just have to face facts. I'm leaving Bikini Bottom because... I'm a failure.<br> | Sandy: Oh, it's no use, SpongeBob. I just have to face facts. I'm leaving Bikini Bottom because... I'm a failure.<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: We can't let Sandy leave, Patrick.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: What'll we do?<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: They're looking for an invention, right?<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Right.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: So, let's start inventing!<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Yeah! (cut to later where SpongeBob and Patrick are carrying a table. Patrick falls over the table)<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: It's time to get serious, Patrick.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Right! (crashes) I made an invention. It's a stick you can draw or write stuff with.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: That's a pencil, Patrick. It's already been invented. (more crashing)<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Ooh, ooh, this is a good one. It's a glass ball that lights up so you can see in the dark.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Light bulb, already invented. (grunting and crashing are heard)<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: SpongeBob, I know this one will work. I've invented a parallel universe.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: That's a mirror, Patrick. It's already been invented.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Somebody keeps stealing my ideas!<br> | |
− | SpongeBob | + | Mirror SpongeBob: (strange accent) Well, I thought it was a pretty good idea.<br> |
− | + | SpongeBob: (his invention crashes) Ooh... I give up. I'll never invent anything. (acoustic guitar plays. It's Sandy) | |
− | '''''Music:''''' "[[ | + | '''''Music:''''' "[[So Long Bikini Bottom]]" |
So long, Bikini Bottom | So long, Bikini Bottom | ||
I can't leave without a good-bye | I can't leave without a good-bye | ||
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Are the friends I've come to know | Are the friends I've come to know | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: (both cry) I'm ashamed of myself, Patrick. I gave up too quickly. We'll build Sandy's bosses an invention so | |
amazing, they'll give Sandy funding forever. (later, SpongeBob and Patrick are experimenting and building an invention) | amazing, they'll give Sandy funding forever. (later, SpongeBob and Patrick are experimenting and building an invention) | ||
We've done it, Patrick! We've created the greatest invention the world has ever seen! Patrick, they're here.<br> | We've done it, Patrick! We've created the greatest invention the world has ever seen! Patrick, they're here.<br> | ||
− | + | Patrick: Who?<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Sandy's bosses. (Patrick is clueless) The reason we spent all afternoon inventing.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: I have no idea what you're talking about. (both exit the treedome to greet her bosses)<br> | |
Chimp #1: Good day, gentlemen. Allow me to introduce ourselves. I am Professor Percy. This is Dr. Marmalade.<br> | Chimp #1: Good day, gentlemen. Allow me to introduce ourselves. I am Professor Percy. This is Dr. Marmalade.<br> | ||
− | + | Dr. Marmalade: At your service.<br> | |
− | + | Professor Percy: And this is Lord Reginald.<br> | |
− | + | Lord Reginald: Charmed.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: You guys talk funny. Say more words!<br> | |
Professor Percy: We are the board of directors of Tree Dome Enterprises Limited, and we are here to ascertain if Miss | Professor Percy: We are the board of directors of Tree Dome Enterprises Limited, and we are here to ascertain if Miss | ||
− | + | Cheek's inventions are up to snuff.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Why everyone in town has benefited from Sandy's scientific knowledge. Before Sandy showed up, I used to be a | |
scrawny weakling.<br> | scrawny weakling.<br> | ||
− | + | Patrick: And I used to be dumb. (goofy laughter) | |
Professor Percy: Quite. And whom do I have the pleasure of addressing.<br> | Professor Percy: Quite. And whom do I have the pleasure of addressing.<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: My name is SpongeBob.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: And I am Professor Patrick.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Professor?<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Doctor Professor Patrick. Don't mind him. You know how interns are.<br> | |
Professor Percy: Where is Miss Cheeks?<br> | Professor Percy: Where is Miss Cheeks?<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: She should be back any moment.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: I thought she ran away because she couldn't invent anything.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Patrick.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick to you!<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Don't you think it's time to show them Sandy's invention, Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick?<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Good idea.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Well?<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Hey, you're the unpaid intern. You do the work. (cut to later where everyone is standing in front of the invention) | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Gentlemen, I can say without exaggeration that this is the most important invention in the history of the Universe! I give you... (reveals the invention) The Automatic Back Scratcher, Hair Comber, Nose Picker, and Ukulele Tuner | |
9000! (everything is put together with gum and band aids)<br> | 9000! (everything is put together with gum and band aids)<br> | ||
Professor Percy: This is where our research money went?<br> | Professor Percy: This is where our research money went?<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: Uh-huh. Isn't it great?<br> | |
− | Lord Reginald: An automatic back scratcher, hair comber, nose picker, ukulele tuner. Yes, well | + | Lord Reginald: An automatic back scratcher, hair comber, nose picker, ukulele tuner. Yes, well I've heard that claim |
before.<br> | before.<br> | ||
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Dr. Marmalade: Let's see a demonstration.<br> | Dr. Marmalade: Let's see a demonstration.<br> | ||
− | + | Patrick: Step right up. (points to Lord Reginald) You look like you've been neglecting your personal hygiene.<br> | |
Lord Reginald: Me? (Patrick straps him in the contraption) Are you sure this is safe?<br> | Lord Reginald: Me? (Patrick straps him in the contraption) Are you sure this is safe?<br> | ||
− | + | Patrick: As sure as I'm a doctor professor.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Patrick, don't you think we should test it?<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Ok. (turns invention on. The contraption comes down over Lord Reginald)<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: That's not exactly what I had in mind.<br> | |
Professor Percy: Lord Reginald, are you all right? (inside the invention, Lord Reginald is getting his hair trimmed)<br> | Professor Percy: Lord Reginald, are you all right? (inside the invention, Lord Reginald is getting his hair trimmed)<br> | ||
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getting picked) Oh, marvelous. This machine has evacuated my nostrils of unwanted residue in a manner most pleasant.<br> | getting picked) Oh, marvelous. This machine has evacuated my nostrils of unwanted residue in a manner most pleasant.<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: Good work, Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick.<br> | |
− | + | Patrick: Thank you, lowly assistant.<br> | |
Lord Reginald: Oh, I say, now it's feeding me delicious pudding.<br> | Lord Reginald: Oh, I say, now it's feeding me delicious pudding.<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: Pudding? I don't remember that part of the invention.<br> | |
− | Lord Reginald: | + | Lord Reginald: Now it's tuning my ukulele. (one sour note of the ukelele and the invention gets out-of-control. Lord |
− | Reginald is hit on the head with the ukulele) Ouch! | + | Reginald is hit on the head with the ukulele) Ouch! Oo! I say, was that necessary? (is slapped in the back of his head) |
You, sir, are impertinent. (a pair of scissors, fire, a saw, and more gadgets surround him) Oh, dear. (screams)<br> | You, sir, are impertinent. (a pair of scissors, fire, a saw, and more gadgets surround him) Oh, dear. (screams)<br> | ||
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Professor Percy: Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick, what is the meaning of this?<br> | Professor Percy: Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick, what is the meaning of this?<br> | ||
− | + | Patrick: It's ok. The horrible screaming means that it's working.<br> | |
− | + | SpongeBob: Oh, I really wish Sandy were here. (back to Sandy where a bus has just pulled up)<br> | |
Bus Driver: All aboard.<br> | Bus Driver: All aboard.<br> | ||
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Bus Driver: It sure does. We make stops in Quittersville, Failuretown, and Loserburg. (Sandy heres the screaming)<br> | Bus Driver: It sure does. We make stops in Quittersville, Failuretown, and Loserburg. (Sandy heres the screaming)<br> | ||
− | Sandy: What in | + | Sandy: What in tar nation? (enters her treedome) What's with all the monkey business? (gasps)<br> |
− | + | SpongeBob: Sandy!<br> | |
Sandy: SpongeBob! What the heck is going on here? (invention spits Lord Reginald out)<br> | Sandy: SpongeBob! What the heck is going on here? (invention spits Lord Reginald out)<br> | ||
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Lord Reginald: Ouch.<br> | Lord Reginald: Ouch.<br> | ||
− | + | Patrick: It works! It works!<br> | |
Professor Percy: Lord Reginald, are you all right?<br> | Professor Percy: Lord Reginald, are you all right?<br> | ||
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once you get right down to it.<br> | once you get right down to it.<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: I'm sorry, Sandy. We were trying to keep you in Bikini Bottom, but all we did was ruin your chances to stay.<br> | |
Sandy: I was about to be fired anyway. Thanks for trying to help SpongeBob. You, too, Patrick.<br> | Sandy: I was about to be fired anyway. Thanks for trying to help SpongeBob. You, too, Patrick.<br> | ||
− | + | Patrick: That's Mr. Doctor Professor Patrick.<br> | |
Sandy: Don't push it.<br> | Sandy: Don't push it.<br> | ||
− | + | Patrick: Sorry.<br> | |
Professor Percy: We are departing, Dr. Marmalade.<br> | Professor Percy: We are departing, Dr. Marmalade.<br> | ||
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chimps)<br> | chimps)<br> | ||
− | + | SpongeBob: Wow, Sandy, they're going bananas for your nutcracker.<br> | |
Sandy: Yeah. (cut to later when the chimps are about to leave)<br> | Sandy: Yeah. (cut to later when the chimps are about to leave)<br> | ||
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Sandy: I accept<br>. | Sandy: I accept<br>. | ||
− | SpongeBob & | + | SpongeBob & Patrick: Hooray!<br> |
Professor Percy: I expect great things out of you, Miss Cheeks. Great things.<br> | Professor Percy: I expect great things out of you, Miss Cheeks. Great things.<br> | ||
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Sandy: Well, the only thing left is to figure out what to do with this infernal contraption.<br> | Sandy: Well, the only thing left is to figure out what to do with this infernal contraption.<br> | ||
− | + | Patrick: My turn. (sits on his invention) Whoo-hoo! (machine turns on and he screams) All right! | |
{{Transcripts/Season 4}} | {{Transcripts/Season 4}} | ||
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[[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | [[Category:Episode Transcripts/Season 4]] | ||
[[Category:Transcript]] | [[Category:Transcript]] | ||
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